//------------------------------// // Return // Story: Escape to Realms // by Flutterwhy4 //------------------------------// Escape to Realms Chapter 7: Return By Flutterwhy4 Ding, ding, ding-dong-ding! The machine stops and Nurse Joy retrieves my three pokéballs and brings them back to the counter. “Thank you! Your Pokémon are fighting fit! We hope to see you again!” Her silvery voice carries across the Pokémon center as my friends and I take our leave. Once outside, I stop to open a pokéball to show the ponies that everything is alright. “Zapdos come out!” I shout. The legendary bird appears as high-spirited and indomitable as ever. “See?” Satisfied that our Pokémon battle really was just a friendly contest, everypony seems to become a bit more relaxed, everypony except Rainbow Dash that is. I watch her eyes as they’re riveted to the glowing plumage of Zapdos’ wings. The cyan pegasus seems mesmerized so I decide to give her a show. “Zapdos!” I call the creature’s name and throw my hand into the air. She gets the idea and flaps her wings hard, taking off into the air like a bullet and buffeting everypony with a brief uncomfortable wind. Dash watches her from the ground as Zapdos soars higher and higher. She banks into a somersault around the sun and finishes with a spectacular dive, lightning arcing off her sharp feathers leaving a crackling flash in her wake. The bird swoops out of her dive just in time to avoid the ground and glides majestically back to her starting point just hovering over my shoulder. “Whoa!” Everypony showers her and I with attention. “Cool… err- I mean, that was pretty cool, but I bet she can’t top this!” Dash says, trying act nonchalant. She wracks her head from side to side making an audible crack, her hooves dance lightly in place and she flaps her wings, getting her whole body loose for the trick she’s about to perform. The feathered appendages whip with determination and in a second she’s gone, even faster than the legendary bird. I look up to see a rainbow contrail penetrating not one, not two, but three fluffy white cumulus clouds before darting to the area of sky just below the sun. Dash goes into a corkscrew and sheds moisture built up in her coat from the clouds. She changes direction dramatically and continues the spiral, then alters her path again. She finishes, leaving a lightning bolt shaped rainbow in the sky, almost like her cutie mark. As she swoops down to the group, everypony, myself included, congratulate her and praise her on what a spectacular feat she’s performed. “Yeah, I’m pretty amazing sometimes aren’t I?” she says. I smile and think to myself how charmingly arrogant Rainbow can be sometimes. Almost like a kid, she always wants to show off her talents and prove that’s she’s special. That’s Dash, a child at heart. “Speaking of amazing, where’s Twilight?” Rainbow asks. I’m surprised she hadn’t asked the question sooner. “We haven’t found her yet.” Fluttershy responds. “Aww shucks. We got separated and I haven’t seen her since.” says Dash. “Hold your horses? Twilight was here?” Applejack replies on behalf of everybody, all of us clearly thinking the same thing. “Yeah, when we got transported here from Ponyville, me and Twi set off trying to find the rest of you guys…” Everypony intently listens in on her story; even Zapdos eavesdrops from above. “…but then these creepy guys in black with the letter ‘R’ on their chest jumped on us and tried to ponynap us. They got Twi under a big net, but she used her magic and teleported away. I was already off into the sky when she zapped away. She probably figured I’d escaped too, but as soon as she was gone I felt a jolt throughout my body like I’d been struck by lightning. My wings seized up and I started to fall. I tried to fly but I couldn’t help it; it was like I was paralyzed.” “And then what happened Dashie?!?” Pinkie Pie barks, dying to know the rest. “Well, I’m not quite sure. I remember hitting the ground… hard, and then I kinda blacked out, but I’m not sure how long. When I came to the guys in black were still there, but so was that guy with the big rock thing… err, Po-ké-mon, whatever. Anyway, he was kicking some serious flank and soon as I had woken up he had those bad guys running with their tails tucked!” “Goodness, so he saved you, Rainbow Dash?” Rarity asks. “Well, yeah I guess, and I thought he was cool, but then he tied me up so I couldn’t fly and put that other stuff on me which was definitely not cool.” “I understand now. So you never saw Twilight again?” I ask. “Nope, we didn’t have a place we were supposed to meet or anything, it just happened and we split up… and even if I did know where she’d want to meet back up, I was tied to that guy in the goofy dress who took me into town where you guys… well, you know the rest.” the blue pegasus explains. “Do you know how long ago it was when you last saw her?” Fluttershy asks. “Mmmmmm… I think about four days ago.” “Whoa, Rainbow Dash! You mean you survived four whole days of not being able to fly?!” Pinkie grabs Dash’s face then hugs her around the withers. “Yeah, well I told you I’m amazing… buuuut, let’s not remind me, okay Pinkie?” “Remind you of what?” Pinkie asks, practically bouncing. “Remind me of… ooohhh, I get it!” Pinkie beams at Dash. “So if Twi has been gone for that long she could be anywhere by now.” I deduce. “If I were her, I’d probably try coming back to where you got jumped at somepoint, but if you didn’t show up, I’d assume she’d just keep looking for us and you on her own.” “Yeah, but where would she look?” Dash asks, puzzled. “Well, we could start by checking the area around here. Dash, why don’t you fly up and see if you can spot her from a vantage point.” “Can do!” Dash pushes off the ground and zooms up to a comfortable altitude to scan the town and the surrounding areas for purple ponies. She twists and jerks around in the air, craning her neck and making a show of looking real hard. After a couple minutes, the pegasus descends slowly and joins the group once more. “Did you find her?” Fluttershy asks “Nope, she’s nowhere to be found.” Rainbow Dash replies, defeated. “Well then we’ll just have to figure out where she went.” I say. “And you do you propose we do that?” Rarity answers back. “C’mon, I know this place like the back of my hoo- err, hand. I’m sure we can find Twilight if we put our minds together!” “I suppose.” the white unicorn concedes and everypony nods in dubious agreement. “Great! So what are some things we know about Twilight Sparkle?” I posit the question, knowingly leading the ponies. “Uh, she’s purple?” Applejack offers “No-no-no, not what she looks like, what do we know about her?” “She’s super magical!” says Pinkie, standing on two legs and doing her best sorcerer impression with a hoof curled in front of her as if holding a cape and other one cast forward. “Yes, and that means she could be anywhere, but what about her likes and dislikes?” “She enjoys literature.” Rarity replies. “She’s an egghead.” Dash corrects her. “Yes, but it’s more than that, she’s also a very curious pony. She likes science and books, but she also likes to understand things!” I make my point. It’s true. I know Twilight better than I do any of her friends and she has a childlike curiosity that is woven into her being. It would not surprise me if Twilight was right now trying to learn everything she could about this strange new world. “Okay, so she’s a curious egghead, what does that tell us?” Dash asks. “Lots of things! It means we can count on not finding her in like, a casino or on a cruise ship, she’s much more likely to be somewhere where she can learn about this place! Now I can think of a couple places to check. The closest would be in Pewter City which is right up this road, but we’d have to go through the Veridian Forest. Personally, I’m lazy and I don’t feel like getting accosted by bug Pokémon trainers so why don’t we take a shortcut and fly there?” Everypony looks at eachother puzzled, perhaps wondering how we’re all going to fly together or perhaps wondering what a ‘bug Pokémon trainer’ is, but either way I make a point to break the silence. “Zapdos can fly me and probably two other ponies anywhere we want to go. Dash, you and Fluttershy can just fly there on your own which leaves just one earth-bound pony left out. Do you think you could carry one of us with you?” I ask. Rainbow scoffs. “Of course I can carry one pony! Why, when I did my sonic-” “Alrighty then, it’s settled! Enough dilly-dallyin’, let’s go find Twi!” Applejack shouts, eager to move on. After some brief commotion over who gets to ride who has to be carried, arrangements are finally made and Applejack, Rarity and I all hop onto the electric bird’s back. Zapdos struggles to take off at first, but with a slight adjustment on our part, her wings are able to flap unfettered and she ascends into the air towards Pewter City. I look back to see Dash carrying Pinkie Pie by what would be the armpits on a human. When she sees me staring she lifts the pony closer to her chest then lets her back down as if she were a dumbbell. Behind the blue pegasus I see a speck of yellow and pink gliding along delicately. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Zapdos swoops to a stop and Applejack and Rarity step off of her first, and then followed by me. I grab the bird’s pokéball and give her a rest. The group, finally reassembled, follows me as I walk north to our first stop. “Here we are everypony!” I say, putting my elbow on the signpost in front of a massive building. “The Pewter City Museum of Science!” I grin as I make a show of the word ‘science’. “Sure sounds like a place Twilight would come.” Applejack says matter-of-factly. “Yeah, I’m bored already, that’s how you can tell.” Dash jeers. “Alright guys, let’s check it out.” I say making my way towards the entrance. When I open the doors, the inside of the building strikes me as clinical and unwelcoming. Checkered tile floors and almost-bare walls greet my eyes and the room is basically empty except for one or two exhibits and a staircase. To my right there’s a counter and a woman thumbing through a magazine behind it. It looks like a fashion magazine, but I can’t be certain. When I try to walk towards the first exhibit the woman looks up. “Whoa pal! Admission is fifty, you gonna pay or am I gonna have to get security down here?” she assaults me in a nasally voice. “Oh, sorry, I umm… well I don’t have any money.” I reply. “Well then you can’t come in! This ain’t a charity, bub.” “Well, okay. I was kinda looking for someone though... have you happened to see a purple unicorn with a star on her-” “Buddy, I think I’d remember a purple unicorn without the description… nah, we ain’t see any of those.” She looks at me, then looks at my pony friends, and then back at me with a cocked eyebrow before returning to her reading. “You meet the craziest people…” she mutters almost under her breath. “Well, thanks anyway. C’mon guys.” I turn and corral the five ponies out the door and back outside. “That sure was a waste of time!” Dash exclaims. “Hey. We have to start looking somewhere, now we know she’s not here.” I argue. Dash sure can be impatient sometimes. “Well Token, where to next? Have any more ideas?” Applejack asks, steering back on topic. “Yeah, there’s a laboratory I remember, but it’s on Cinnabar Island which is a ways away from here. You guys ready to fly again?” “I’m always ready to fly!” Dash shouts back. Fluttershy nods her head. “’Kay then. Zapdos come back out!” I hold my pokéball out in front of me and once again it opens and the stoic bird reappears. After getting everypony ready, Zapdos takes off and soars south, Dash and Fluttershy in close pursuit. Veridian City unfolds beneath us as the wind whips through hair and manes alike. The mountains to the west grow darker and darker as the sun inches closer to the horizon. The air seems to get chillier as well. The city behind us, I look over Zapdos’ shoulder and can see the grassy plains and a small town beneath us on the edge of the large body of water that stands between us and Cinnabar. “Quit fidgeting Pinkie!” I hear Dash’s shout like a whisper and I turn around to see her struggling to hold on to a vibrating pink pony. Pinkie’s face is plastered with an expression of dumb awe, like that of someone watching a fireworks display. “I can’t help it Dashie, it’s my Pinkie sense!” Pinkie soft voice barely carries against the wind. I press firmly on Zapdos’ neck signaling her to slow down and she does. The blue pegasus begins the close the distance. “Well, try to help it!” Dash commands. “What’s up Pinkie?” I ask. “My Pinkie sense is tingling.” “You know what for?” “Nopey-dope! I’ve never had one like this before, then again I’ve never had my Pinkie sense while I was flying so who knows, maybe it’s really a knee twitch and a flank shake and I can’t tell ‘cause I’m up here soaring around like a birdy!” the pink pony rambles joyously. “But it seems to have stopped now, right?” I ask. “Oh yep, it’s gone!” she replies. “Good.” Rainbow Dash makes a point of saying. “Alright then, let me know if it happens again. Okay?” I say. “Okie-dokie-lokie!” The land disappears behind us and the volcanic Cinnabar Island comes into view. Within minutes, Zapdos begins to descend. Dash pumps some extra effort into her wings and zooms past us, landing on the island first. We arrive next and step onto land as Fluttershy wafts to the ground like a falling leaf. The Pokémon lab looms in front of us on the southwest corner of the island. Waves wash up on the rocky beach, spraying into the air and filling our lungs with a salty mugginess. The sky is beginning to turn orange as the sun prepares to pay its daily goodbyes. “Alright guys, I’m going in, why don’t you wait out here.” I say. “Okay.” Fluttershy agrees; Dash and Pinkie nod as well. Rainbow stretches her wings like an athlete. “Hold on there pardner, I’m comin' with ya! I ain’t doin’ no good in finding Twi just-a-watchin’ the tide come in.” Applejack insists and I let her come along. Rarity follows us too and both Applejack and I give her a ‘why are you coming?’ look. “All this humidity is bad for my hair.” she offers. It seems reasonable, if not a bit self-obsessed. The door to the laboratory swings open under AJ’s hoof. The inside is a sterile lobby with a couple generic paintings and floor plants, but quite empty, much like the museum before it. To our right is a hallway with three doors spaced about evenly apart. “Alright, we’ll find her faster if we split up. I’ll take the first door, Rarity you check the second one, and Token, you’ve got the third.” Applejack takes the lead and all parties oblige. I swing the third door open and am greeted with a room of expensive-looking machinery, computers, blinking lights and tubes. It sure looks like a lab. There are two men in the room, but no sign of Twilight. “Excuse me, sir.” I say, walking up to a gentlemen sitting behind a computer in the corner of the room. “I’m looking for Ponyta! Wanna trade for a Seel?” he asks enthusiastically with a blank face. “Excuse me?” I say, reeling from the unexpected comment. “N-no, I was looking for-” “Aww… Oh well.” he says before returning his attention to his work. Creepy, I think, but find myself chuckling a bit. Ponyta. I walk across the room to the north where a second scientist seems to be paused in deep thought. He’s just staring off into the wall, almost statue-like. I tap him on the shoulder and he perks up. “Pardon the intrusion, but-” I’m interrupted yet again. “Hiya! I am important doctor! I study here rare Pokémon fossils!” the man says, his face brimming with insanity. “What?!” I take a step backwards. “You! Have you a fossil for me?” I pause and contemplate just turning around. “No! Is too bad!” the man finishes and begins staring off into space again. I’m stunned, but I didn’t come here to give up. “I’m looking for a purple-” I shout, only to be interrupted again. “Hiya! I am important doctor! I study here rare Pokémon fossils!” “A purple pony! Have you seen one?” I shout again. “You! Have you a fossil-” “Oh for pete’s sake!” I turn around and start for the door, the scientist still gibbering. “Did you say Ponyta? Would you trade for a Seel?” the second scientist asks. “UUUGGGH!!” I groan loudly, making a show of my exit and slamming the door behind me. When I reach the lobby, it looks as though Rarity and Applejack had no better luck and a brief conversation confirms it. Twilight isn’t here either. We head back outside where the rest of our party awaits. “Bad news fellas, she ain’t here neither.” AJ informs Fluttershy, Pinkie and Rainbow Dash. “So we came all this way for nothing? Again!” Dash protests. “Guys?” “Do you want to find her or not!?” Rarity raises her voice. “Well, yeah, but there’s gotta be a better way!” the blue pegasus shouts back, getting defensive. “Guys.” “Well, the sun’s goin’ down, so whudda y’all recommend?” says Applejack. “Maybe we should call it a night?” Fluttershy adds. “And how do we know she won’t be right back here tomorrow while we’re off searching high and low for her?” Dash asks, pointed. “I think we have time tonight to check at least one more place.” I suggest. “Well, where should we go this time?” Rarity asks. “I’m frankly out of ideas, but I know there’s a psychic man in a house in Saffron City. Maybe we can ask him and see if he can narrow down where Twi went.” “That sounds like a-” “Hey everypony!!” Pinkie exclaims, leaping into the air and flailing about. “What!?!” Everypony turns to her. “Do you think my Pinkie sense had to do with Twilight?” she asks calmly, her words laced with her characteristic innocence. “…I suppose it could, I didn’t think of it.” I reply. “Let’s see. Where were we when you had your Pinkie sense?” “We were almost to the edge of the land and about to fly over water I remember.” Dash says. “Right, right. Well, that would be about… Oh my gosh, I totally forgot! Professor Oak’s lab is in Pallet Town!” I say with sudden enthusiasm as the gears in my head turn. “Who?” the ponies ask in unison. “Professor Oak! He knows more about Pokémon than anyone in Kanto, and he’s friendly too!” I hop on Zapdos’ back for the third time and motion for everypony to get ready to go. The confused ponies and I take off for Pallet Town as the sun begins to set to the west. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ We arrive in Pallet as the sky turns a familiar shade of purple, a color I soon hope to see on the face of our last missing friend. I’m so excited that I forget to wait for AJ and Rarity to get off before summoning Zapdos back to her pokéball. The red beam envelops the electric Pokémon and the two ponies fall to the ground with a lack of grace. “Oops, sorry you guys. C’mon!” I apologize, rushing towards the large building in the center of the tiny oceanside town. Pinkie shudders along, everypony else follows too. Now I’m positive Twilight is here! If I was still a pony, I’d be in full gallop as I make my way to Professor Oak’s Pokémon Research Lab. There’s not a soul outside at this hour. I run along the picket fence grazing each plank with my hand. I stop and wait in front of the door and when everypony finally catches up and gathers around me I grin. “If I was a betting man, this is where I’d say Twilight would go! Everypony ready?” I ask with a giddiness that seems to make Pinkie proud. The five ponies show their readiness and I turn to take the door handle in my hand. I begin to turn my hand… The handle doesn’t turn; it’s locked from the inside. My heart sinks a bit. It’s not as though there was any real urgency to this visit, but I had built the moment up so much to have it end like this was simply unacceptable. I jiggle the handle, but it still refuses to budge. “I guess everyone’s sleeping.” Fluttershy says. “We can always come back in the morning.” “But…” I sigh, “She’s here, I know she’s here. We- we came all this way.” I pout, for a bit, but then compose myself before returning to the door with a series of loud knocks. “Hey! Hey!! Open up!” “Maybe this isn’t such a…” Fluttershy starts but a noise from inside the house quiets her. A few moments later, the sound of a deadbolt decoupling from the doorframe gives me goosebumps. The door opens and standing in the yellow light of the entrance is none other than Professor Oak in a white labcoat, hastily thrown on over some pajamas. “Can I help you? Oh my!” he says, noticing the group of ponies behind me. “I think I know why you’re here, please come in.” I step inside and take a sweeping glance around the room. There on the floor between two uneven stacks of books is the lavender unicorn we’ve been seeking. “Twilight!!” I exclaim ecstatically along with everypony else. The purple pony looks up, startled from her reading, and then her face lights with emotion as she looks past me to her best friends. Professor Oak closes the door and walks past the bookcases to the other side of the room. “I’ll leave you all to catch up.” he says. I would’ve on any other day been thrilled to meet the greatest Professor known to Pokémon, but right now I am only concerned with one pony. “How did you guys find me here?” Twilight asks, puzzled. “Token helped us!” Pinkie tells her, casting a pink hoof my direction. I feel myself blushing. “He knew this place better than any of us and we simply couldn’t have done it without him.” Rarity explains. “Wait, that’s Token?” Twilight asks. “It’s a long story, sugarcube.” says Applejack, drawing Twi’s attention. “Well, we’ve got all night. Why don’t you tell me? I want to know everything that’s happened to you guys!” And so we do tell her, everything: how I found out I was a human; my adventures with Pinkie, Rarity, Fluttershy, and Applejack; the battle for Rainbow Dash; and trying to find her. The group of us stay up all night telling stories and laughing together in the glow of a lantern long after Professor Oak has gone to bed. Twilight shares her story too. After she had fled her attackers, which I identified as Team Rocket, she tried desperately to find Rainbow Dash. When she returned to wait in the same spot they’d gotten separated and Dash didn’t show up, Twilight decided she’d keep searching elsewhere. She wandered south through the fields of grass and wound up in Pallet where she came upon this research lab. Professor Oak took her in and offered his hospitality and help in finding her friend. She told us he had called his protégé’s, two trainers (of whom I was familiar with) out on an adventure throughout Kanto and told them to keep an eye out for a rainbow-maned pegasus. That was a couple days ago and she’d been here since, reading about the fascinating world of Pokémon and waiting for some news of a pegasus sighting. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ The door to the laboratory opens and the sun pours in across the floor. In walks a nerdy-looking, tall man in glasses and a white lab coat. “Oh, uhh… good morning Twilight and… umm, your friends?” he says. “Oh my gosh, it’s really morning already?” she replies in shock. The man nods before closing the door and getting ready for work. “Well, we have been talking for hours on end.” I remark. “Yeah, I guess we got a little carried away.” she chuckles. “No. It’s been great catching up! I always feel the happiest when you guys are around. You bring out the best in me.” I speak from my heart, unsure whether it will sound sappy or not. I wait for a reaction and Twilights smile assures me I’ve said nothing wrong. “C’mon you guys, we should get some fresh air.” Rainbow Dash says, getting to her hooves and stretching. “That sounds lovely.” Rarity agrees and moseys towards the door without pause for calisthenics. I get up from sitting all night on the hard floor and crack my back before following to the exit. “Leaving before breakfast?” Professor Oak inquires cheerfully, rounding the corner of a bookcase. “Oh, sorry Professor, but I think my friends and I have plans of our own. Thank you so much for your hospitality! It’s been a great experience.” Twilight thanks the white haired Professor and turns to follow her friends outside. “It’s been my pleasure, and just remember, if you ever want to return and read more about the wonders of Pokémon, please be my guest!” “Thank you!” she replies, already out the door. I stay behind and thank the Professor myself. “Thank you so much for taking care of my friend and for letting us stay the night. It has been an honor to meet you.” “Think nothing of it, I live to please. Now, I believe your friends are waiting for you!” the Professor says with a wink. I wink back and turn to run out the front door, waving as I go. I jog towards where everypony has gathered, at the edge of the still water. The sun is reflecting off the glassy surface and the air smells fresh with grass and evaporation. The group shares a silent moment just marveling at nature. I never expected this adventure could come to end so peacefully. A goldeen jumps in the waters off-shore, shattering the mirror-like surface of the bay. “This place is more beautiful than I could have imagined it would be.” I say, to no one in particular. “Yes.” Twilight replies. Another long moment of silent observation follows before she speaks again. “So, Token?” “Yes, Twilight?” “I know this place means a lot to you, and it’s really great and all…” I brace for the obvious conclusion, a moment I’ve been subconsciously dreading ever since I stepped through the door onto Route one. “…but, what about Ponyville? Do you… do you still want to live there? With us?” With us… She makes it sound as if there’s no other option. The six of them are going back to Ponyville and that’s a fact. Truth be told, she’s right. I couldn’t keep them here against their will. What’s more, I realize… I would give up anything to be with them, my friends. My glazed eyes focus as I exit thought and see the six of them all waiting for my response now. I look at the ground and the sea again, and then look at each of them smiling weakly back at me. “Yes, I’d love nothing more, Twilight… if you can accept me this way, that is.” “Of course we can! You know that!” she assures me. The others nod affirmatively. Time passes slowly and another moment drags on for minutes. “Token? Is something the matter?” Yes. Yes there is. “I… don’t know how to get back to Equestria… is the thing.” My voice is brittle as I speak. “What?!” Dash, Applejack and Rarity bark. Twilight glares at them and they return to patiently waiting. “Token, I know you do. You can bring us back!” she says confidently. “But how?” I ask with genuine intrigue. “Remember what you did that brought us here? Remember when the library was under attack and you focused real hard? Remember?” “You want me to do that again?? But that’s what separated us in the first place! What if I lose you all again?” “Then you can find us again!” Her words do nothing to calm my nerves. “Just focus on Ponyville, make it appear, I know you can do it Token.” Twilight says, her horn beginning to glow. I feel a magical touch on my back and my body relaxes. “Mmmm, okay. I’ll try.” Twilight’s magic releases me and I step back a few paces. Realizing my mistake, I take a few steps forward again and stand in the middle of the circle of friends. “Alright.” I heave a heavy sigh. “Here I go.” I close my eyes and imagine Equestria, imagine Ponyville. I picture ponies walking the streets. I picture buildings, colors, the train, the view of Canterlot. My head starts to feel light as the images flash through my mind. Sweet Apple Acres, the Ponyville schoolhouse, town hall, Sugarcube Corner, the market, Rarity’s boutique, more and more I can see the picturesque home of my favorite cartoon characters. The library, Rainbow Dash’s cloud home, Fluttershy’s cottage… I try to picture my arcade and my home, but the vision escapes me. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ I awake from realms beyond the night. Shrouded in blankets and sinking into my mattress I lay perfectly still, gripped by the realization that what I just experienced will never come again… but I want it to. Against everything I know to be true, I close my eyes praying for the sandman to take me away, praying that when I open them again Twilight will be there telling me everything worked and thanks to me, things are back to normal. My eyes open just a hair to check. Still in my plain, human bedroom. I close them again, wishing I’d never woken up. Minutes pass in waiting for my flights of dreamland to return, but it’s impossible; the morning sun has taken its first bite of my retinae and there would be no sleeping in my near future. I hinge my neck off of the pillow to see my alarm clock. Late for work. My head hits the pillow like a bowling ball as I heave a sigh and sadly smile. So there I lay, staring at my textured ceiling and finding hidden shapes in the specks, a mental game of connect the dots. Perfectly still. Arms spread out, I feel the stirring vibrations in my chest of a heart unready to meet the day. Stone still. Barely breathing, I’m keenly aware of the miniscule pulses throughout my arms and hands; I lay silent with almost zen-like omniscience of the blood coursing through my veins. So that’s it. Thoughts of my human responsibilities are brushed aside by the burning need to remember my lucid experience forever, something which is already becoming a challenge. My mind clings to detail after detail as they come to me like flies in a spider’s web. My cell phone rings, still attached to its charger on the bureau next to my alarm. I would crush it to pieces were it in reach. Still lying in pseudo-depression, I endure each painful, high-pitched ring, distracting me from my mental efforts. Finally the call, like my dream, is gone and I’m left alone in the solemnity of my morning bed. I take a few deep breaths. The cotton blanket finds its way pressed into my eyes to stem the formation of any tears I may shed. It really was all I could have ever dreamed. With a sudden wave of determination or perhaps just self-loathing, I throw the blanket from my chest and swing my legs off the bed, rising to a seated position. I’m late for work already. Honestly, I feel as though I could not care less, but my mind dances back-and-forth, drumming up clichéd reasons and excuses to make me believe I should. Whether it be the pain of waking up from such a wondrous dream or the pain of my life in general, I can tell today will not be my day. Everything feels shallow and scripted. Life seems to play out in two dimensions, lacking variety or purpose. I step from the bed and amble towards the bathroom to prepare my morning routine. I turn the faucet in my shower and the patter of water hitting the tile floor reminds me this is reality. I grip my electric razor and turn it on before running the smooth surface over my face and across my upper lip. I brush my teeth while I wait for my shower to heat to my preferred temperature, then finally, I shed my last article of clothing and step into the steamy chamber. My forehead rests against bare tile while I let the hot water rain over my spine, drenching my back and running down my legs. My shoulders move like marionettes to get the water over every inch of my skin. As I raise my face into the showerhead and feel the needles of pressurized liquid, I start to feel a little better. A bar of soap joins the party and half-heartedly I begin to sing ‘Smile, Smile, Smile’ in hopes of raising my spirits. When the song is done and my bathing complete, I exit the shower and briskly towel-dry my skin before blow-drying my hair. Wet mane. That thought gets a smile from me. While the torrid air wrings every remaining drop of moisture from my scalp, my mind is still floating through memories of a dream long-gone. Pinkie Pie in a suit of Ghouls N’ Ghosts armor, Rainbow Dash’s awesome stunt… all but memories, but in the end, what do we have if not our memories? I ask myself. To the closet I go to prepare the day’s attire: business casual, as always. I lay the slacks and shirt across my bed and move with purpose to open the blinds and let some more sun into the dreary room. I open them and as I stand there painted in stripes of gold I realize what a beautiful day it is. The sky is powder blue, partly cloudy, with the sun shining. The cottonwood seeds have begun to fall and they hang in the air like giant snowflakes. My cell rings once again, this time I’m up and able to pounce on it. My fingers swiftly find the button to send the call to voicemail, silencing it on the first ring. I sever the phone from its charger and slip it into my pants pocket on the bed. Finishing getting dressed, I comb my hair and head downstairs. On any other day I would have been frantic to get to work, probably drumming up an excuse and an apology on the drive there. Today was not like any other day however. The cupboard swings open with the same expected creak I’ve heard ever since I moved in. I pull a shallow bowl and a tall glass from the shelving and set them on the kitchen counter below. Next, I journey to the pantry and produce a box of cereal. It's not the sugary, marshmallow-laden kind of my youth, but something a bit more nutritious. To be honest, I still miss those cereals, the perfect treat to accompany cartoons in the early morning. With the addition of milk and juice from the refrigerator, I complete my breakfast and sit down at the kitchen table to eat. Sunlight pours in through the bay window. As I chew my wheaty morsels, I ponder things, the world, life. Life is wonderful, but why? A quote from a Pokémon movie runs through my head. It always stuck with me and as I sit here thinking, I find it has new relevance. I know I should enjoy this all, and every day should be a gift, but… why? I’m always the happiest when I’m talking to friends, or watching ponies, or doing something fun, but other times… Other times seem to fade like pointless seconds between cradle and grave; times spent either aimless fulfilling obligations to a society that demands conformity or lost in the process of moving from one fleeting moment of fun to the next. My spoon hits the bowl and rings out. I know I’m being too dark, too maudlin. I’m sure Pinkie would tell me to turn my frowny upside-downy. I exhale sharply through my nose, like a stifled chuckle and the corners of my mouth turn up a little. My juice tastes delicious... strawberry-banana. I set the glass down and resume my contemplation. I try to take a mental step back, to give myself some context. I have a great life, I tell myself. I’ve got a job that supports me (for now), I’ve got tons of fun stuff, game consoles, what-have-you. I think of my friends, my wonderful friends that I don’t know what I could do without. A lot of people aren’t even as lucky as I, to have true friends that honestly care about me. I start to relax and feel warmer, better about life as I convince myself of the great things I have to be thankful for. Still one loose thread drags me down. I think about my childhood, the memories, the moments, the general feeling of constant, sustainable happiness. The time I spent in the nineties, learning, laughing, playing… I don’t think I could ever be that happy again. It seems almost a cruel joke to be given such a pinnacle of perfect joy upfront only to have it dialed back as life progresses. I’ve justified it in the past as just another fact of existence. I’ve told myself that adulthood has purpose in making the world and life awesome for the next generation of kids, giving them the kind of experience I so enjoyed. It’s a thought that makes some sense, yet it leaves me often mired in apathy and lethargy. Other times I’ve tried to convince myself that I’ve glorified my childhood, put it on a pedestal, and that it wasn’t the bright, happy perfection I remember it being. Yet, these thoughts do little to make me feel better, in fact just the opposite. Maybe there’s another way. I’m not even eating anymore, just staring into the bright, tree-line filled window. Perhaps, it’s not about the memories, and the pop culture, and all these trivial things so much as it is about the way you approach life. Thoughts of my dream invade my conscious. Take Pinkie Pie for example; she’s the picture of someone with a childlike mentality. She’s innocent and optimistic, always seeing the brighter side of everything. Or take Twilight; she’s filled with curiosity, not dragged down by the notion that she knows how the world works now that she’s of a certain age. She is still fascinated by things. How about Fluttershy? She’s filled with kindness and mirth. She approaches every situation with those qualities and doesn’t just pull them out in certain situations… like I kind of do. As I sit, eyes glassy and fixed on nothing, I realize what I’ve been missing, the answer to the ‘why’ of life. It is one thing to talk about love and tolerance and even to practice it, but it’s another thing to incorporate into your being an attitude that will bring you joy from existence, both in the good times and the bad. It’s the attitude that makes childhood feel so fun and memorable, the spark of life, for lack of better words. I wipe my eyes and begin to laugh, a real laugh from deep inside. I haven’t felt so confident about myself in a long time. I am born-again, given a new outlook. I’m still late for work, but I can’t leave yet. As silly as it sounds in my head, there’s only one thing I can do in this moment that feels right. My chair slides out from underneath me as I rise to my feet. I walk straight to where my briefcase is sitting in the corner of the room and I open it. I pull out a blank piece of paper and a ball-point pen before closing it. I sit back down at the kitchen table and push my empty bowl and glass to the side, setting the paper down. I stare at the bleach-white parchment with a smile for what I’m about to do, then I write: Dear Princess Celestia, I can’t believe I’m writing this, I chuckle. When I finish laughing, I continue while the words are still in my heart. Growing up can be a challenge: figuring out who you are, what you want to do with your life, and coming to terms with impermanence. It can sometimes feel better to stay focused on the past, to cling to the things that once brought you joy rather than explore what is waiting in the world for you now. Thanks to a group of your subjects, I’ve discovered this is not the path to take for it will lead you to become a bitter adult, scared of the future rather than embracing it. It’s understandable and natural to have affinity for the time in our lives when everything is new and exciting, but sometimes the things we leave behind are the things we need to take with us as we grow. I have a lot of good memories of my youth, things I’ll never forget, but it took me until now to realize I forgot how to live like that eager young boy I used to be. Perhaps if I turn to the future with a little more optimism, a little more curiosity, a little more kindness, a little more tenacity, a little more creativity, and a little more pride I can stop clinging to old memories and make some new ones. Your faithful subject, Token.