//------------------------------// // CHAPTER 007: In the Neigh-vy. // Story: Stormy and Merlos Adventures // by NoisyPegasus //------------------------------// Stormy lost her place on the page again. A sigh leaked out of her, kept quiet so Merlos wouldn’t hear. Another stream of idle muttering from across the room had made Stormy lose her spot in the current book she had on loan to read, the same one which she had explicit instructions not to stain, mangle, lose, and absolutely not doodle in under penalty of sleeping outside. At least, in theory she was supposed to read it; in practice she had quite a bit distracting her. I wish he would just stop that. Stormy scrunched her eyes shut until the muttering paused, then snuck a peek out of the corner of her eye, careful not to get his attention again and start another argument, which happened like clockwork. Merlos was seated on the other side of the tower’s bottom floor before a roaring blaze in the large fireplace, and rested upon one of the lounges recently reclaimed from piles upon piles of junk. Stormy laid beside the table on the cool stone floor at the far side of the room, and as long a distance from the cavernous fireplace as she could get. The decimated sack of oats beside her was a testament to the amount of time that they had been sitting there, as well as her boredom. A rustling of feathers caught Merlos’ own attention. In an attempt at inconspicuousness, he peeked over his spellbook’s top. He studied Stormy a moment, as if her being relatively quiet was some ploy to get him to drop his guard, only to jerk his book back up upon seeing he too was being watched. Stormy sighed absently and refocused on the strange passage about stotes and their fur’s magical applications as a material component base. As alien and silly as a lot of what she was glancing over seemed, Merlos insisted it was all very part and parcel to the practice of spellcraft in his world. While she did still think it’d be cool to use magic kind of like a unicorn, she was starting to wonder if it was worth the trouble. The relative quiet and strange hooman magic aside, the two of them were both merely killing time until they took leave for Halia that afternoon with their dwarven neighbors Knott and Ges. Alas, Stormy had been reminded bright and early that morning that tensions still ran rather high between herself and Merlos. Merlos had been grumpy until he’d gotten his tea, and only slightly less after that, while Stormy had learned the hard way that her cheerfulness was apparently not welcome right after he’d woken up. At that very moment, there were other factors aggravating the truce between them, too. As it turned out, cohabitating with someone of the older variety was a complicated matter where indoor temperature was concerned, and was proving a subject doomed to eternal disagreement. “Stormy,” Merlos began absently, and motioned toward the woodpile. “Put another log on the fire.” Stormy groaned, and slowly lowered herself to the floor and put her hooves over her head. Not this again. “Stormy…” Merlos warned. “Oh, come on! We’re leaving in like an hour and it’s a million degrees in here! I am literally sweating.” Stormy rolled over and pointed to her matted flank. “And not the fake literally, either! I told you, pegasi aren’t the fondest of the heat! Why torture me like this?” Merlos set his book down onto the side table with a heavy thump. “Now see here, you—” Stormy refused to let him get a word in. “Just let me read outside until we’re s’posed to go down to the dock, please?” Merlos shook his head, beard flinging itself side to side. “And risk you damaging it? Or risk you disappearing this close to our departure? No, and you had better get used to remaining in my sight because you won’t be leaving it during this journey, either, and that’s final. You may be a guest here, but this tower and its business are still mine to manage.” Stormy clamped her ears down hard against her skull and began to grind her teeth. Mismanage, you mean. Maybe if I just ignore him, he’ll— “Stormy. Log. Now.” Merlos repeated, and folded his arms, which definitely meant he was unwilling to budge whatsoever on the subject. “Nnno!” Stormy jumped up to all fours and began pacing. “I mean, you’re wearing robes that magically make you comfortable all the time! Why does it even need to be sweltering in here? It makes no sense!” Merlos turned his nose up at the complaint. “Because we’re about to be traveling on a damp, miserable river for weeks and magic robes or no a warm fire can’t be replicated. Now, a log, if you would.” “No.” Stormy blew a raspberry, and turned her back to him. “That’s it!” Merlos’ bushy eyebrows raised half an inch at that, and his beard shifted in a fashion that suggested he was now perturbed. “If it’s too warm in here then I’ll just chill your side of the room a bit for you!” A blue light ignited behind his eyes and he began chanting strange words. “Good! I like the cold! Fire away, captain… jerk-face!” With a growl, Stormy began to hover and get eye level with Merlos before he could finish whatever he’d started. Much to both of their surprise the normal goings-on of the tower were interrupted. Both pegasus and wizard stopped cold and looked to the entryway door as a series of loud knocks repeated. “Now who the devil could that be?” The magic light from Merlos’ eyes faded, and he forced himself from his very comfy chair and shuffled stiffly over the polished stonework to the door. Stormy’s ears pricked at every one of the knocker’s harsh clangs. “You have a visitor? I recall Knott saying the town thought ogres lived up here and wouldn’t come visit.” Merlos turned briefly and blustered. “You— it was trolls, and that’s besides the— Look, just stay over there and keep quiet.” He unlatched the large lock assembly and pulled the door open just a crack. His eyes winced closed from the midday sun blaring into his eyes, dazzling him a moment before he could lay eyes on a lone figure. “Bah, I should have cracked a window or... Oh, it’s you.” Merlos felt Stormy trying to squeeze in around him and he put himself into the doorway, blocking her from seeing who it was. The last thing he wanted was another incident caused by the little pegasus’ tendency to faux pas. “Who is it?” Stormy asked, only to stumble as a gnarled hand planted itself on her head and held her at a distance. “I wanna see!” She huffed and backed away, unable to make it around the old man’s surprisingly apt agility. After Merlos’ eyes finally focused on who had disturbed the relative peace of his tower, he felt his anger boil up quickly. “Merlos!” the man began, his gratingly high pitched voice already assaulting Merlos’ nerves. “How are you on this—” He paused, grinning creepily around the old fort’s ruined courtyard. “—lovely morning?” Behind Merlos, Stormy hadn’t given up and opted to start hovering near the ceiling back at the center of the room. From there, she could clearly see over Merlos’ shiny bald spot atop his head. She recognized the awful outfit of the man standing there from when she’d first been taken, and recalled with clarity the name of the person that she’d seen wear it: Fartington Hamsworth. A thin man with gaudy red and gold robes, intricate golden stitching and star embellishments, as well as squiggly runes running down the lapel, stood at the door. On his shoulders were garish, pointed pauldrons sticking up like giant velvet thorns, while heavy jewelry and ornamentation weighed on his figure from the waist on up. The wispy, cliche sparrow’s goatee adorning his chin and shiny black metal cap clinging to his head completed the ensemble. His beady hazel eyes stared into Merlos as their gazes met, and his thin lips parted into a sneering grin, the kind someone makes when they want you to know they’re better than you. Completing his creeptastic visage was a gaunt and crooked crow resting atop his shoulder; its beady red eyes flicking to and fro, studying its surroundings constantly. “Wadsworth...” Merlos seethed, clenching his fists with the not too distant memory of his rival’s misdeeds from long ago still fresh in his mind. “What is it that you want? Shouldn’t you be busy sucking up to some nobles or undermining someone else’s hard work?” “My my, Merlos, could it be you’re still... mad at me?” Wadsworth wheezed laughter. “And after you—” He suppressed another nasally snort of laughter. “—got one over on me at the auction?” Merlos, his glare staying intact, raised an eyebrow. “Your taste in bad humor is only matched by that of your wardrobe, worm.” “Oh, name calling, scathing,” Wadsworth cackled. “I do so enjoy trading niceties with you, you old has-been you.” “Caw!” Wadsworth’s crow joined in, hopping left to right as it spoke. “Hello has-been! Has-been!” “That thing is as annoying as ever.” Merlos huffed, puffing out his beard briefly. “Well I’d rather we skipped these ‘niceties’. I’m busy, so what do you want?” Wait… Stormy held a hoof up to her chin thoughtfully. Oh, right, it was Farlington Wadsworth. Eh, not that that’s any better. She shrugged, and focused on listening in. Whatever this jerk was here for, she knew it couldn’t be good. What little of him she’d seen before Merlos freed her had been enough to figure that out. “Charming, as always.” Wadsworth traded his grin for an eerily simple smile. “Straight to business, eh you old coot? Very well. You see, after our unfortunate bidding war over that magical beast, it suddenly dawned on me that you, of all things, had been under the impression that it could be used as... a mount. Probably some form of a late mid-life crisis, hm?” Stormy frowned as she listened in, but the sudden movement of Merlos’ fist gripping his robes made her hover backward. Wadsworth chuckled. “I thought to myself: nooo, how could Merlos think that? He’s such an intelligent… eh, wizard. Surely he wouldn’t have made such a grand assumption only to—” He paused to bend over again with laughter. “—only to spend twenty thousand gold on a mistake!” Merlos frowned. “How did you figure out... Nevermind, what’s your point—” Stormy, not appreciating hearing this weasel of a hooman’s laughter again, growled out, “Stop laughing at him! I know you! You were there at the dungeon place when I got magicked here! You’re evil!” Her ears pinned back, and she blew an angry snort through her nostrils. Merlos scowled over his shoulder. “Stormy, upstairs, now.” “Oh, there she is, and talking sense now, too. Now now, let the little thing stay.” Wadsworth chuckled, narrowing his eyes. He pointed a menacing finger at Stormy. “And what if I was there, creature, hm? Lucky for you things happened the way they did, or you wouldn’t still have such a smart mouth to run.” He spoke in a tone that bordered on threatening, or maybe thinly veiled with some kind of ill-intent. Stormy blew a raspberry mid-air at the garishly dressed wizard as she flew outside, over Merlos, and jabbed a hoof down at Wadsworth. “Merlos! He was there! Him and that old guy, they were the ones that took me from my home,” she accused. She landed to stamp her forelegs. Making loud clops on the stonework. Her tail flicked behind her in little swats while she got worked up, like when somepony at school would say her flying routing was stupid or lame. “Spunky little thing, isn’t it?” Wadsworth harrumphed. “You really ought to keep your beast under control, Merlos old boy. I know you’re not much of a wizard but you could at least manage that, hm? Or should I do it for you.” Stormy growled again, only to look down from glaring at Wadsworth and realize he was pointing a stick at her. A wand, she recalled. “Stormy,” Merlos said, caution in his voice. “Come away, and go back inside. This isn’t about you.” “Well, actually it is,” Wadsworth chuckled, bouncing his wand with little flicks in the air. “In a sense.” “But—!” Stormy struggled, one eye kept on Wadsworth’s stupid cheating wand and one on the grumpy wizard who always bossed her arou— only… Merlos looked awfully worried, and not just in his usual “Oh no my mold!” kind of way. “But…” Stormy flitted away to Merlos’ side and hid behind his frumpy robes, but didn’t quite go back inside. “He’s why I ended up stuck here… So he’s evil, right?” She settled for an unsure frown at Wadsworth, rather than her previous glare. “Don’t tell me, hoomans don’t get arrested for foalnapping?” Wadsworth’s eyes widened, only for him to burst only into a raucous, wheezing, and quite annoying laugh. “F-Foalnapping?” The crow sitting on his shoulder seemed to laugh alongside his wheezing with its own cawing. Surprisingly, and it made Stormy’s blood boil, Merlos bent down at her and chuckled a bit, too. “Not exactly, Stormy. And Wadsworth may be a pain in the neck, slimy, underhanded and insufferable, but he’s not evil... At least, summoning foreign creatures wouldn’t make him so. Incredibly irresponsible and rude to alien intelligences, perhaps, but not evil.” Wadsworth’s giggling slowed as he caught his breath. “Me, evil? Oh, but I’m the picture of a good samaritan! After all, I was the one who informed the King’s guard of my master’s nefarious misdealings, yes?” Merlos gave his beard a puff. “Hmph, yes, you did do that. And no doubt you profited from that bit of altruism, too. Hm?” Wadsworth grinned. “Indeed.” Stormy growled and stomped a hoof again. “Stop it!” She ceased her aggressive display while she fixed Wadsworth anew with her scowl... “This is serious. Why is what I went through a joke to you guys? Huh?” Wadsworth addressed his crow, Tiki. “I think I understand why these two get along so well. They both complain endlessly about imagined wrongdoings.” The crow broke out into cawing as if by a switch at his master’s joke. Merlos straightened up with a glare. “Imagined? You had better not mean what I think you do, snake.” “Ah, back to the names, are we?” Wadsworth twirled a finger through his pointed goatee, grinning. “Now see here—!” Merlos jabbed a finger out at the man, his face filling quickly with bluster. While the two bickered, Stormy’s mind raced as she tried to recall the mistreatment she had suffered in that grimy basement, and more of the things she tried to forget surfaced. “T-That talking bird, it isn’t really a bird!” Wadsworth blinked, appearing taken aback, then looked at his shoulder. The crow’s head swiveled over to look squarely at Stormy. “Stormy, it’s common for a wizard’s familiar to speak.” Merlos sighed, now once again trying to push Stormy back inside. “That’s not what I mean! Yeah, that’s weird, but—!” Merlos grunted and gave up trying to awkwardly force the small equine back indoors. “If you insist on staying out here, Stormy, then do so quietly. Wadsworth, just spit out what you’re here for.” “I know what I saw, and that stupid crow is a faker,” Stormy spat. “It’s some kind of weird… red monkey thing.” The crow, Tiki, flew off Wadsworth’s shoulder and landed in front of Stormy with enough force to kick dust up into her face. “Hey!” The bird seemed to laugh at her again with its cawing. Its eyes had an insidious red orange glow similar to the burning hearth behind her. Stormy backed a few steps off; it was a lot bigger and scarier than she remembered. The crow cawed its terrible laugh again then snapped its beak with a few chuffing clicks. “It seems Tiki doesn’t like your accusations,” Wadsworth crooned. Stormy flared her wings and brought her head low. Her instincts told her this “bird” was looking for a fight and she didn’t want to give it the upper hoof. With her eyes fixed on the crow, it flitted into the air and began to circle around them. “Not that this isn’t all amusing, but I agree this is getting old,” Wadsworth said, his voice somehow making it to new levels of annoying as he spoke. “So here is my proposal, Merlos. I will fully compensate your losses on what you wasted on this… accidental purchase of yours. Right now, and no questions asked. You just have to give the pegasus to me forthwith.” Stormy gasped, recoiling at the merest thought of such a thing happening. She looked up at her host, expression stark with worry. He wouldn’t... she thought resolutely, but still recalled all the trouble he’d caused him since she’d arrived. Merlos’ eyes narrowed, and he folded his arms slowly. “Though your offer is indeed generous, I must decline.” A slight smirk appeared on his face as Wadsworth’s eyes widened angrily. “She is a free being. As an intelligent creature with an obvious cognition beyond that of a wild animal, I cannot in good conscience, and will not, enslave her.” Tiki landed back onto Wadsworth shoulder when he leaned forward with a sneer. Since becoming angry, his nasally tone somehow became twice as pronounced. “Is that so? I can’t barter say, twenty-five thousand gold for her? This is a once in a lifetime opportunity, Merlos. Don’t be as foolish as with your squandered fortunes.” Merlos shook his head with a certainty behind his eyes. “No. Not for all the gold in the kingdom’s coffers. Not that I’d deal with you in the first place, anyway. A man like you wouldn’t understand, Farlington.” “You arrogant old fool.” Wadsworth clenched a fist. Stormy looked up to give Merlos a smile, touched that this otherwise short tempered wizard, who held great ire for her, would refuse the younger wizard bribing him. She changed her grateful look out for a mirthful smirk directed at Wadsworth, then hopped closer and blew one of her trademarked raspberries. “There, he said no, you jerks! Now get out of here or else you’ll get what’s coming to—!” With no warning, Tiki dove like a lightning bolt from Wadsworth’s shoulder and with the spread of its wings took to the air. It swooped low in an unusually eagle-like fashion, its legs in front with talons bared, and raked Stormy’s face. Stormy, cried out as her vision was obscured by Tiki’s form. Jagged talons hooked into her face and cut painful burning lines from the corners of her eyes to nearly the end of her muzzle. She clutched the wound as red lines formed under her hoof. She listened to the crow fly up and around overhead, cawing loudly. “Wadsworth!” Merlos shouted, but otherwise made no move. With a playful expression, Wadsworth held a hand up to cover his mouth. “Oh dear! That sounded like a threat, didn’t it, old friend? As an esteemed member of your arcane council, I do believe I am—” “Cease your posturing.” Merlos cursed under his breath. “You’ve made your point.” He watched with a detached quiet as Stormy hid behind him once again and did his best to not react to her pained sounds. “Stormy, how are your eye—” “You’re going to let them get away with that?” Stormy shouted, her voice reverberated in the courtyard. She gestured at the skinny young wizard while he gave a sneer. Her hoof returned to hold the wound to her face. “Yes, Merlos, are you?” Wadsworth goaded. Merlos turned a serious stare to Wadsworth. “If you’re finished, I think it’s past time you left, Wadsworth,” he said, all but a little of his normal caustic demeanor held back. “And keep your familiar in check.” Wadsworth sighed and gave a nonchalant shrug of his shoulders. “You are boring and weak to the core, old man. I hadn’t thought mere ridicule and time would have worn you down quite so. Still, it’s now clear even Merlos the Magnificent is beholden to communal exile.” He snapped his fingers, and a magic carpet uncurled from beneath his robes to slide under his feet. “Fine, keep your pet. I just wanted to hear you admit you were wrong again, anyway, for old times sake.” Wadsworth chortled, and leaned over to give a cutesy little wave towards Stormy. “Bye now, little winged horse thing! And good luck lasting around these parts. Merlos has an awful track record with his pets.” Merlos moved in front of Stormy as she made to react. “Stormy, ignore him. Let's get those gashes treated before they scar.” “But—” Merlos surprised Stormy as he rested a hand on her shoulder, rather than try to push her along as before. It was the first time he’d made any move bordering on consoling. “Stormy, that’s enough. There’s nothing to be done but talk of what has transpired. Now follow me.” He left then, moving into his tower without looking back. Stormy looked rapidly between the two hoomans, the former moving towards his tower, and the other giving her one last sneer as he turned to go. She stared at Wadsworth’s retreating form as his crow alighted once again upon his shoulder. Its gravel-voiced caws echoed its cruelty even while they grew more distant. Stormy’s breathing bordered on hyperventilation. She weighed her options, and the temptation of hurling a rock at the bird crossed her mind. A voice, maybe cowardice or maybe common sense, she didn’t know, told her to just give up and run inside to where it was safe. Her leg trembled a little as she secretly swore vengeance against both the wizard, and his crow. “This isn’t over…” Her eyes began to fill with tears as she fled, and immediately wished she could take them back as they burned and throbbed against her cuts. “Stormy, did you say something?” Merlos watched as his little guest raced inside ahead of him, but didn’t answer. He sighed as he shut the door. “I’ll get a healing elixir, then.” Stormy sat in the corner of the room before the fireplace, trying her hardest to stop crying and to push away the emotion that had welled up inside of her. At the sound of footsteps, she twirled around to find Merlos with a bottle and a ragged ivory coloured cloth. “Sorry, this isn’t the good stuff. So it’s going to sting.” Merlos poured a little bit of the vial, which Stormy assumed was his healing elixir, onto a clean rag and dabbed it on her cheek and brow. Stormy flinched back, only to be surprised it only hurt about as much as rubbing alcohol on a scraped knee after a crash landing. She relaxed somewhat. “So, do you still not think he’s evil?” Stormy begged Merlos while he dabbed away. Her wounds wiped away like oily smudges on glass, though her hair remained damaged and missing in streaks. “I really don’t like Wadsworth, but as much as I’d like to villainize him for what he did to my reputation, he’s never done anything but be an underhanded pain in the rear.” Merlos spoke in a tone that gave Stormy the impression he wasn’t in the mood to argue. “Wadsworth specializes in furthering his own prestige while cutting down those around him a bit more… mercilessly than is normal in a community of wizards.” Stormy sniffled and wiped her muzzle with a foreleg. “Alright, fine, but why did you let him and his dumb bird attack me like that?” Merlos cut her off quickly. “Stormy, he picks fights with people to make them angry. He enjoys doing everything in his power to start a fight. If you lash out at him, he gets what he wants. All he did was poke a sore spot and banked on you to throw the first punch. Well, technically the second, but mark my words if you make the first move, he’s just going to get away scott-free. You can’t win at his game.” Merlos finished with a grumble, and used the rag’s other side to dry her face. Stormy met Merlos’ eyes and protested, voice quavering slightly. “B-But he attacked me first, like you said! Why does he get to get away with that? Is he more powerful than you or something?” She was a little irate at how Merlos would defend such a jerk. Merlos laughed. It was the kind of laugh that had a tiredness to it. “No... At least, not last I saw. But singular magical strength isn’t the only thing to consider, Stormy.” Stormy snorted, not satisfied. “Then what else is there? Why does a guy like that get to claw the eyes of anypony he wants to?” Merlos grunted and averted his gaze. “I apologize, I should have seen that coming before you goaded him. As for Wadsworth’s position, he’s royalty. I wouldn’t start a fight with him unless it was truly dire.” Stormy deadpanned, blinking slowly with tears still trailing down her face. “Seriously?” Merlos shrugged. “Truly he is, after a fashion. Sixteenth in line to the throne or some nonsense, mind you, though he does like to claim sixth in lesser circles. He’s the type. In anycase, he’s a prominent social figure, spoiled, and rotten to the core. There isn’t much he doesn’t get away with so long as he doesn’t step on the wrong toes. Point in fact, his old tutor recently found that out the hard way.” “That’s stupid! Your government is stupid! That’s the stupidest thing since stupid came to stupidtown!” Merlos crossed his arms, frowning. “Isn’t your land governed by a Diarchy?” Stormy turned away, head raised. “Duh. I know how the government works, but that doesn’t mean I don’t think it’s stupid.” She sagged a moment after. “So he could just get away with anything.” Merlos shook his head. “Not anything. There are limits even to the pull a man like him can manage. Although... Tiki did also claw a Duke’s son’s eye out and with only slight recompense did he get away with it.” Stormy shouted. “What!? That’s terrible!” “Nonetheless, as I said, his familiar leaving a scar like this isn’t retaliation worthy.” “What if that thing had taken out my eye, huh? Would that not have been retaliation worthy?” she said mockingly. “No. Eyes can be regrown with some effort,” Merlos said matter-of-factly, and tilted his head to look over her face a moment to observe the injury in its entirety and gave a nod in approval. “There’s no scarring; it healed perfectly. We got to it in time, though there is a bit of a bald spot until your hair grows in.” Stormy sniffed again at the mention of hair loss. “Right. So you’re just going to let it all go?” Her lip quivered, while she gave him her most heartbroken look, the one she saved for her parents when she really really wanted something. Merlos paused and sighed. “If that foul fowl touches you again, you are well within your right to return it in kind as it would do to you.” His elderly fist balled his sleeve. “However, Wadsworth’s gotten away with much, Stormy, and he’s not the kind of person who you want to pick a fight with.” At the mention of it, Stormy flinched from the suggestion that she fight back against that big bird. The idea of fighting at all didn’t appeal to her. At that moment the gravity of the situation dawned on her, and she realized such a fight wouldn’t be like a playground fight. The fights she would get into literally meant risking life and limb. That’s when her ego struck. “Good! I-I wanna buck that crow into next tuesday!” Stormy shouted with determination. Merlos smirked, and adopted a sly look. “As a matter of fact, I’ve heard there are actually people who hate Tiki so much as to place a secret bounty on killing it, or so I’ve been told. No one’s claimed it yet, as I imagine no one’s been able to figure out how to get away with killing the thing absent of Wadsworth’s presence.” Stormy frowned. “I don’t want to kill it…” Merlos blew out his mustache. “If you get in a fight with Tiki, Stormy, you’d best intend to finish that fight. In any case, what time is it?” “Not sure that I like the sound of that, Merlos,” Stormy muttered. Still, she took a deep breath, and finally felt like she was regaining her composure. That was until a startled cry from Merlos scared her back into being stressed out once more. “We’re late! Grab your things you feather-brained nuisance, we were to meet the others at the pier ten minutes ago!” “Oh! Uh-uh-uh, okay!” Stormy went from zero to sixty suddenly, caught up in her hosts’ sudden haste. She grabbed the makeshift saddlebags the dwarves had helped her whip up in a hurry, making sure to stuff her borrowed book in the top part. Merlos slung his bag of holding, and raced for the door. “The town Hesturbaer isn’t far, but we no longer have time to dally! I can’t stand not being punctual!” Stormy sagged, trudging after Merlos out of the tower. “Eck, punctual. I hate it when ponies use that word.” She reflected that those who used words like punctual were always insistent that they get the things they want first, and she had little doubt that Merlos would be any different. “Hey, stop pushing!” Stormy nearly tripped as Merlos swatted at her again with his staff. “I’ll stop pushing when you hurry!” Stormy had been impressed that a guy his age had been able to sprint down the hilly road and keep up with her glide, but now he was just getting annoying. Together, Merlos and Stormy all but jogged through the mild foot traffic in the town. It wouldn’t have proven to be much of an obstacle at all, were it not for everyone stopping to stare at them as they passed. Though late, the journey to Hesturbaer wasn’t too far away from Merlos’ home, as on a clear day he could spy it easily from the lofty position of his tower’s top floor. The portside of the town was a sizable strip of docks placed at a naturally wide point in the river. Many watercraft were docked on either side of each pier, with a small raft moving back and forth from one side of the river to the other, ferrying customers. Stormy learned from an earlier explanation that the whole operation was used to stage goods from nearby towns to other places downriver and upriver quickly, and with relative safety compared to being moved by road. Apparently bandits were a big issue this far from the hooman kingdom’s capital, but she hoped that she wouldn’t have to see that firsthoof. Hesturbaer was large enough that the docks were very busy, and sported a sizable inn closeby. Stormy took in just how medieval the whole world must be and could grasp the life that the townspeople had, even rushing by as she was. She couldn’t help but reflect that the technology of this world was leaps and bounds behind that of her home in Equestria. Stormy frowned even as she spotted the pier at the end of the muddy street. What I wouldn’t give to get to watch TV again or— Merlos panted relief and finally slowed his pace. “Ah, good. They’re still here. We’re in luck, Stormy. Although, I can’t say I’m surprised much that Captain Tull is behind schedule.” Stormy stared at the ship they’d stopped in front of, not minding the wizard currently bent over and catching his breath. The ship was much nicer than she’d expected, to say the least. It was built like an old-fashioned side paddling steamboat, though it was likely state-of-the-art for this world. There were large spaces atop its deck to carry its cargo up and down river, and a magnificent crane stood out from its bow. The crane was rotated from the side and moved a net filled with goods to be lowered into its impressive hold. Made of metal from bow to stern, the whole thing was quite imposing to Stormy. The scintillating brass fixtures and clean sides gave her assurance that the hoomans weren’t total slobs, at least. “Wow.” It was an impressive ship to behold, and she wondered if it were meant to be put to sea judging by its size. There weren’t many ships at the port currently, and this one was certainly the biggest. Merlos stroked his chin a moment, following her gaze. “Yes, its quite the nice vessel, hm? Too bad we’re not riding on that, eh? I’d quite prefer a decent cabin to what we’ll be dealing with.” Stormy's eyed bugged as she comprehended what she’d heard. “What? Which one then?” Merlos then pointed a thumb over his shoulder to something that Stormy was already sure would be impossible to give positive descriptions for. To call the thing at the pier anything else than a wreck would have been an insult to all other water vessels. “You’re kidding. You’re kidding, right?” Stormy looked up hopefully at Merlos, and when he shook his head resolutely, she took flight to get a better look. Surely it wasn’t as bad as it had first seemed. Once in the air, she confirmed the barge-like flotsam was actually worse. The craft groaned ominously even as it remained docked at the pier. Half metal scrap and half wood, the frankenstein-esque vessel appeared to have at one time been several different boats, and appeared to have ship parts that had been cut, nailed, and welded on all over. Patched globs of pitch dotted the ship’s hull, plugging holes temporarily. Its whole deck listed to the side a bit, and the only consistent color was the shade of orange-crimson rust at the bow. A garish shack, made from what she would assume to be an outhouse sat at the bow functioning as a wheelhouse. The boat was clearly far past its time to stay in the water, and appeared to be half held afloat by its own cargo, a few large casks lashed to its hull at the sides. Still, despite how decrepit the boat looked, dock workers diligently positioned more lashings of barrels onto the ship’s deck, and all the while caused it to groan ominously without end. Needless to say, they looked quite nervous over the affair. After being in Merlos’ tower, the knowledge that they would set hoof on a vessel in such condition was no longer a big surprise. What was more worrisome was that the wooden deck, while intact compared to the rest of the vessel, still had signs of deterioration that had likely set in before she had been foaled. Stormy landed back on the dock with an unceremonious thud beside Merlos. She had a bad feeling that she might need a tetanus shot just from looking at the boat for too long. Her hackles raised as a whiff of something hit her nose. “My mark, what is that smell? And how is this barge even staying afloat!” Merlos rolled his eyes. “Oh, it’s not that bad. Quit your whining!” Stormy bristled at this. “I am not whining. I am complaining. Would you like to hear whining?” Merlos looked at her with a no-nonsense glare. “If you start, I will use your tail as a mop to swab the poop deck.” Stormy shut up promptly and hugged her tail close to herself and quickly looked for something else to preoccupy herself. Large tun casks, clearly the newest and most cared for items on the craft, towered up over her head. They were certainly big enough for her or even Merlos to use as a small improvised cabin. They were securely lashed to the deck and she found the dwarven brothers double checking the knots. Wanting to say something that would hopefully not antagonize Merlos, Stormy said, “Oh look! It’s Ges and Knott.” The brothers merrily laughed away at some story they shared as they worked. Ges then gave Knott a nudge and pointed their way before they waved in unison. Stormy flew over to greet them more personally, but made a point to not land on the barge’s deck. “Hello, Ges. Hello, Knott.” Stormy hovered just above the deck. “How can you look so calm on that boat? Aren’t you afraid it’ll sink?” Knott grinned, the paladin putting a muscular arm over Ges’ shoulder. “We’re both really good swimmers, lass!” “Natural floaters, really,” Ges laughed and patted his stomach. “Glad to see you both make it in time. We were beginnin’ to wonder.” Stormy grinned sheepishly, while movement at the ship’s helm caught her eye. Another humanoid stood at the end of the ship. He was a rather tall, lanky fellow with a poorly kept mane, muttonchops, a pot belly, and pointed ears. A skipper’s hat sat atop his head. He belched loudly and scratched his rear, staring off with what was clearly a drunken haze toward the land. Stormy wondered if this was some underpaid dock worker… She had to look away as he really didn’t seem like he was going to stop scratching his butt any time soon. An unpleasant crunch sound emanated from his behind. “So what d’yeh think o’ the boat, lass?” Knott questioned. “Well it’s certainly, uh...” Stormy forced a smile, but her mind ground to a rusty halt after failing to find a positive description. “Broken in?” Knott chuckled, and thudded a hand on the guard rail. The guard rail cracked, unsurprisingly, catching him by surprise. The dwarf sheepishly kicked the loose timber off the boatside, whistling. “Emphasis on broken…” Merlos nodded as he approached the gangway, unperturbed by his companion’s carelessness. “Ah, Merlos!” Knott hopped upward to thump a hand on the wizard’s shoulder. “You’re late, ol’ friend!” Merlos harrumphed. “Late? A wizard is never late. Nor is he early.” He gave a knowing smirk to his companions. “He shows up whenever he damn well pleases.” Knott and Ges erupted into laughter, while Stormy looked around uncertainly with a weak smile, thinking, But he complained the whole way here about being late! Uggh, I don’t get it. “‘Ey there ya’ll! Welcome aboard the Weiserbud, the most ten… er, tenanxious ship this side o’ the sea! And I’m ‘er cap’n. Cap’n Tull, atcher service.” The lanky hooman Stormy had seen had approached them, and after his introduction offered the very hand he’d scratched his bum with to Merlos, who looked at skeptically, but nonetheless shook it. The lanky Ooman gave an energetic shake back. Stormy had to fight hard not to burst out laughing. “You know us, Captain Tull. Still, it’s a delight to be on board again,” Merlos said, and raised an eyebrow. “Are you drunk again?” “Oh, Merlos! ’S been ah dog’s age tah be sure,” Tull drawled in an accent reserved for certain. “‘N’yup. Drunk as a bugbear what got ‘nto a brewery!” Merlos sighed. He would be worried were it not for the knowledge they’d be moving at less than five knots. Tull’s gaze and crook-toothed smile fell to Stormy next, who in her defense did force up her own grin to be nice. “Well lookie here! Merlos! You got yerself a huntin’ dog finally!” Captain Tull then reached down to pet Stormy’s head, who recoiled behind Merlos quickly. “Pony,” Stormy corrected. Tull went bug-eyed, rubbed his eyes with his free hand, then looked at the clay jug in his other hand. “Well Ah’ll be a kobold's uncle! Cletus! Check this here critter out! Merlos’ huntin’ dog can talk! Can ya play dead ‘n roll over little fellah?” Captain Tull asked with a grin, stooped over Stormy, and rested his hands on his knees. Stormy grumbled to herself, but didn’t respond. Instead, she tried not to breath while he was close. What popped up from a nearby porthole next nearly scared the life out of Stormy. The figure was a muscular humanoid with green skin, two large tusks protruding from his lips and spoke with a low gravelly voice. “Klee Tusk no care about talky fly horse. Klee Tusk fix boiler!” Stormy crouched lower behind Merlos. “Oh good gravy. What is that? Nevermind, I don’t care. Just hide me.” “That’s Klee Tusk, and he’s a half-orc. Be polite.” Merlos tsked at his charge, instead focusing on the newcomer. Klee Tusk gave what Stormy could only interpret as a spooky smile, before he looked at Merlos with obvious familiarity. “Good see you, Merlos. Long time. Many moons. Try not drown on trip... again.” And the muscular green hooman’s laughter bellowed, causing the ship to rattle. “Ha ha ha!” The ship listed a little when it climbed on deck. Merlos nodded and greeted the green creature back. “It’s good to cross paths with you, honorable Klee Tusk. We won’t bother you any further.” The green hooman gave a nod and retreated back to his work, which, now that Stormy was aware, sounded like angry WAAAGH screams and loud clunks of metal being beaten against other chunks of metal. Stormy cleared her throat and finally answered Captain Tull. “I’m Stormy Weather. I don’t do those kind of uh… tricks. But I know some sweet moves to fly around in the sky with.” She hadn’t been able to help bring up her flying. She flared her wings and giving the deck a few pets with an eager hoof. “Well now that there’s somethin’. Ah talkin’ dog that does flyin’ tricks.” Captain Tull took of his hat and rubbed his bald head as he listened to her. “Pony,” she said again, but otherwise ignored the comment and looked around the ship. “And I’m not certain if I should kick off or land on this ship, it looks rather… fragile?” Captain Tull guffawed a moment. “Ah knows it looks like it’ll sink intah the waters any minute, but the Weiserbud is the finest ship tah ever float on this here river. Why, it’s even survived over a doe’s end of battles! I think ah doe’s end’s mo’ than eleventeen… Anywho, she’s even been repaired with parts o’ ships that managed to get stuck when tryin’ to ram it!” Stormy looked to the others for help, but it was plain to see they didn’t have anything nice to say about the ship either. “Well, that’s… impressive.” She managed a smile that she hoped looked convincing. It’s okay, Stormy, you’ve got wings in case it does sink. She gave them a flap for comfort. Stormy and Merlos watched the landscape drift by slowly, just beyond their reach. “I could walk faster than this.” Stormy complained out loud. “I bet I could crawl faster than this.” The chugging of a steam powered engine ran a side wheel, the gentle slaps and trickles of water became the only thing that seemed to break the otherwise bountiful silence. “That may be, but can you move all those barrels at this pace?” Merlos quipped back to her. Stormy squinted at the shore while she considered his words. “Not really. I guess nopony really does this anymore back home.” She flicked a pebble off the deck with a foreleg and leaned against a railing, which creaked and groaned in protest to her weight. She watched the pebbles journey into the clear water. It landed with a plop and she watched it sink. The river was incredibly placid, barely disturbing the pebble’s slow tumble to the bottom even in the barge’s wake. Beneath the water’s surface there was also occasionally fish and shrimp-like creatures, as well as bits of metal and broken ceramic containers. Stormy turned slowly away from the railing and stopped leaning against it. She looked to Merlos, who held his hat at the moment; his gray beard and balding head caught some of the wind that drifted over the land making him look like a tattered old dish towel. “So when were we going to ea—” Without warning, a terrible beast leapt out from a nearby crevice, and ran across Stormy’s foreleg. “Gyah! Rat!” she shouted, leaping into the air with a flail of all her limbs. “A what?” Merlos asked, expecting a raiding party or something to be lined on the shores, bringing his staff to bear. Stormy pointed hysterically at the deck. “A rat!” she shouted again. “It’s on you!” “A RAT!?” Feeling something try to climb up his right leg, Merlos revulsed immediately and kicked his assailant away. “Quod sit mitti in ignem!” Merlos shouted. After hastily dipping his hand into a satchel, a fireball was slung at the wretched beast. The brief flash of light and a muffled squeak last but a moment. The deck was scorched slightly, but the rat’s life was snuffed out swiftly by the wizard’s expert aim. Merlos and Stormy panted a moment, then looked at each other. Their gaze returning to the scorch mark on the deck again. “Geez, Merlos, you screamed louder than I did, and I’m a girl.” Stormy giggled at the old hooman, who donned an angry look. “Don’t be ridiculous, you were far louder—” “Flufflepuff?” Captain Tulls voice rang out, the lanky ooman looking around curiously about the bits and bobs of the ship. “Have you seen mah pet rat? He’s about ye’ big. His name’s Flufflepuff.” Merlos looked at Stormy and between them was an unspoken understanding that late Flufflepuff had mysteriously disappeared that day by mysterious circumstances. “Nope, haven’t seen anything like a rat,” Merlos said assuredly. Tull scratch his hat back, looking confused. “You sure? Ah coulda sworn ah heard ya’ll scream ‘rat’ real loud-like.” Merlos and Stormy both shook their heads. “Not at all, what I had screamed was… fat.” “Fat?” Tull parroted. Merlos nodded, folding his arms nonchalantly behind his back. “Yes. Stormy’s putting on weight. Anymore and she’ll capsize the ship.” Stormy scowled up at Merlos. “Hey!” “Is for horses.” Merlos walked away with that, while Tull resumed his calling out for his pet up and down the barge. “Yah big jerk,” Stormy muttered, and resumed tossing pebbles into the river. In the midst of suppressing her guilt, she heard Knott’s heavy boots thump up next to her as he peered over the edge at her side. “Hmmm, someone had a bad time.” Knott said to make conversation, his eyes on the blackened smudge atop the deck. “May he rest in peace.” Stormy nodded and studied a distant Merlos with a squint. He seemed to be enjoying the mild breeze that carried over the deck. After a moment he seemed to break out of his placid existence and reached into his hat, fetching a quill and pen. Knott hummed in response. “Din’t mean the cap’n’s pet, lass, tragic as tha’ be. Was actually referin’ to them battle marks you’ve got there on your face.” Stormy’s eyes widened at their mention, and she in unconsciously reached a hoof up her brow. “Oh, uh, you meant these.” After a shake of her head she lowered her hoof. “There’s not too much to talk about. And it sure wasn’t a battle... Some bird got the drop on me and carved my poor face up. And I didn’t even do anything about it...” She scowled in remembrance and hit the railing with a hoof. A railing bar flung off into the distance as a result and landed on the shore. “Oops.” Stormy grunted and put her head down on the railing with a thump Knott chuckled, but patted Stormy’s shoulder consolingly. “Aye, that sounds like a right bit of trouble to make your blood boil, even after all’s said ‘n done.” He took out a stocky pipe from a pouch on his chest, and gave it a couple taps against his palm. “Now, I’m not abou’ to tell you what you should ‘n shouldn’t do after a traumatic encounter like tha’, Stormy, but there’s only one thing a dwarf’d do.” Stormy picked her head up from the railing to look at Knott. “What d’ya, uh, I mean what do you mean?” Knott chuckled, and struck his flint against the railing, lighting his pipe in one smooth motion. “Simple. You need t’ learn how t’ protect yerself from someone that knows how.” He gave Stormy a wry smirk, then kicked out the railing beside the one Stormy had launched.