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//  CHAPTER: C.E.L.E.S.T.I.A. says this is much better than having boring old chapters divide up the story. Isn't she right? Do you doubt the wisdom of C.E.L.E.S.T.I.A. pony? 
// Story: PARANOIA:EQUESTRIA 
// by Opium4TmassS 
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EQUESTRIA FUN FACT: C.E.L.E.S.T.I.A. would like to dispel rumors that the fast food chain SOYLENT PONY uses actual ponies in their making of their food. On a related note. The winners of the mandatory essay contest: "If I was a burger what Kind would I Be?" Please show up in the alley behind SOYLENT PONY at nine a.m. sharp. Minimum dress is advised. And please leave all your valuables at home. On another related note. The flavor of the day at SOYLENT PONY is Bob. 


Starlight Glimmer moved from shadow to shadow avoiding large groups of ponies, buildings, windows, ants, the air. Face it everything was dangerous in this Equestria, anything could kill you. But most of all she was afraid of being spotted by C.E.L.E.S.T.I.A. or her troubleshooters. She had been lucky for awhile, but her luck could only go so far, sooner or later it would run out. Although she admitted to herself that the computers troubleshooters were dangerously, incompetently, competent. Blowing up entire sections of Equestria to stop one jaywalker. She took some relief in the knowledge that if she had been found right now, Ponyville would probably have been a smoking hole. But it wasn't so she hasn't been...yet.

Starlight Glimmer took more comfort in the fact that a lot of the monitors and not-so hidden cameras have been removed by the high programmers for vlogs. and the ability to watch Sunday night hoofball in high definition. Making it a little easier to not being detected.

"Halt." said a voice near her. "Identify yourself citizen."

In the middle of the dirty empty street, was three young ponies, A unicorn, a pegasus, and a earth pony. All of them wore a red cape with the symbol of a  giant eyeball with a white Alicorn in the center. The symbol for C.E.L.E.S.T.I.A.	

"Who are you and what are you doing?" asked a young filly with a red mane.

"Me? I'm walking." said Starlight Glimmer. "What are you doing out here."

"I'm Apple Bloom clone number 1, this is Sweetie Belle clone number 1, and over their is Scootaloo clone number 3." said Apple bloom. 

"Clone number three?" asked Starlight Glimmer.

"I'm a little clumsy." said Scootaloo sadly looking down.

"And were..."

"THE CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS!" They shouted in unison.

"Were going to get our cutie mark in spotting traitors for C.E.L.E.S.T.I.A.." said Sweetie Belle.

"Also for every ten E.L.M.S.	 you turn in you get a free small ice cream cone at SOYLENT PONY." said Scootaloo. "Todays flavor is Bob."

"Well...that's very commendable of you." said Starlight Glimmer. Nervously backing up. "C.E.L.E.S.T.I.A. is certainly lucky to have such loyal ponies like you."

"I know." said Sweetie Belle excitedly. "Did you know my sister Rarity is one of C.E.L.E.S.T.I.A.'s top troubleshooters?"

"Oh really? I did not know that."

"Yes she is. Granted all she does is dress up the evil Luna mutant sympathizers before they are killed. But still she is one of the Elements of Harmony."

"Well congratulations." said Starlight Glimmer. hoping that if she kept them talking they wont notice it when she made her break. "Which element does she represent?"

"Why generosity of course." said Sweetie Belle. "She is always giving me things. Almost all of it is junk and totally useless, and my room is so full of her garbage that I have trouble getting in or out. But its the thought that counts. Hopefully one day she will give some thought as to what she is giving me."

"Well that's great to hear and stuff but I really must be going." said Starlight Glimmer moving herself around the three young ponies. "It was a pleasure meeting you."

"Hold on." said Apple Bloom narrowing her eyes. "Your acting pretty suspicious to me. All this talking and friendliness."

"Isn't that the motto of Equestria." said Starlight Glimmer. "Friendship is Magic. It says so when you enter. Right in-between the nuclear missile launchers. It also says any pony caught using magic will be executed."

The three ponies went into a huddle. Starlight glimmer couldn't understand what they were talking about. but she knew it wasn't good. "Well I'm sorry I can't stay and play with you longer but I must be going." she said walking past the young fillies. "Hopefully I'll see you again soon."

"Ma'am your going to have to come with us." said Scootaloo in her serious voice. "Were going to have to take you to C.E.L.E.S.T.I.A.'s interrogation funplex on suspicion of being an evil Luna mutant sympathizer." As the other two ponies jumped around in a circle chanting. "WERE GOING TO GET OUR CUTIE MARK! WERE GOING TO GET OUR CUTIE MARK!"

Starlight Glimmer was about to brush off the CMC and continue on her way, figuring that the worst they could do was whine.  When she saw that she was looking down the barrel of a laser gun pointed at her face. All three of them had weapons pointed at her.

"Now are you going to let us shoot you and then come quietly with us. or are we going to have to shoot you again after that?" Sweetie Belle holding a laser rifle with a smile on her face.

For the first time in a long time Starlight Glimmer was speechless. "W-W-Wear did you all get your weapons?" she finally said. 

The three ponies looked at each other for a moment before shrugging. "School." They replied in unison.

"Isn't that a missile launcher?" she asked. Pointing at Scootaloo.

"Isn't is cool?" she said. "Our teacher gave it to me as a prize for my essay 'How many Traitors I will bring to C.E.L.E.S.T.I.A. when I grow up.' "

"Oh." said Starlight quietly as her mind rocketed through, looking for a way out of this.

"Now just walk in front of us as we head down to the Funplex. Walk way in front of us as a matter of fact." said Apple Bloom.

"She's not kidding about that," said Scootaloo. "Don't want to get caught in the back blast when I shoot at you when you try to run."

"Who says I'm going to try to run? You have a MISSLE LAUNCHER POINTED AT ME!"

"Awwww..." the three of them said looking disappointed. "We never get to use our weapons on live targets."

"Oh look over their." Starlight Glimmer said. As an idea was forming. "Look at that blind blue filly making snowflakes. Pretty suspicious if you ask me."

The CMC looked at her, then at the young pegasus making the snowflakes. 

"She is right." said Apple Bloom, "Who makes snowflakes in todays world."

"GET HER!" shouted Sweetie Belle rubbing her hooves together. "Maybe she will put up a fight and I'll finally be able to shoot somepony."

"WE'RE GONNA GET OUR CUTIE MARK! WE'RE GONNA GET OUR CUTIE MARK!" The three chanted forgetting Starlight as they rushed off towards the blind pegasus.

"That was a bit harsh don't you think?" said Discord appearing above Starlight. "Selling that pony out to save yourself." Discord floated down to the ground and stood next to Starlight.

"Your the one that made this mess to begin with." Starlight Glimmer retorted. "Hopefully once we get everything fix. It will all go back to normal."

"It did seem like a good idea at the time. Although I do admit it has gone way out of control even for me. I the spirit the chaos even finds this place too much." Discord paced back and forth nervously. "I probably shouldn't have found that time traveling spell of yours and messed with it."

Starlight Glimmer glared at Discord. "You think?"	

"Don't look at me like that Starlight." said Discord. "I'm in the same boat as you. "Who knows what they will do to me if C.E.L.E.S.T.I.A. ever caught me. Nothing nice I assure you." Discord paused for a moment as he thought. "But the question remains, what do we do now?"

"Only thing we can do. Find Luna and hopefully she can help us end this mess." said Starlight Glimmer as they started to walk on.