//------------------------------// // A Conference // Story: Excuses... Excuses... // by pertelote345 //------------------------------// A week later I still had no idea why the princesses wanted to talk to us. More importantly though, I still had no idea what to do with myself. It was staggering when you really thought about it. I had a tiny amount of extra spending money and a little creative outlet from baking and all, but was I really going to devote myself to culinary stuff? I mean, I liked music too... What about reading and writing? Wouldn't going after those help me get closer to Twi? Should that even be part of my considerations? Anyway, I was trying to put it in the back of my mind. The princesses had clarified this was a casual visit and Twilight had only had two panic attacks over it, both of which had been resolved with cuddles and a bedtime story. I frowned at the memory. It sucked that she was hurting. But in a way it felt... amazing. It was like I was seeing her naked, warts and all... Seeing a part of her she barely showed anyone. And that wasn't the only incredible part. I felt... Safe around her. Safe in a way I never thought was possible. It was like something frozen inside me was finally starting to thaw. So when I marched up to meet the princesses I felt right as rain... Right up until we opened the doors. Princess Celestia and Luna were sitting in a well worn couch. They turned to us, staring straight at me... They looked serious. Sitting on a separate couch in front of them were Cadence and Shining Armor, looking like they'd just taken the last apple strudel out of the pantry. Twilight blinked. "Cadence? BBBFF? What are you doing in Canterlot." Luna held up a hoof. "Twilight, Applejack... Please come sit with us." Celestia and her sister spread apart on their couch and patted the space between them. I narrowed my eyes. "Now hold on a dang minute, y'all said this here was a casual visit. Why are ya lookin' at us like we need an intervention?" Luna paled. Celestia, of course, couldn't get any paler. "Of course not!" Celestia said a little too quickly. "We are nothing but supportive of you two!" Luna added. Twilight looked utterly lost. "Why are you two acting so weird?" Luna sighed. "We'll explain in a moment, okay? Could you please sit down?" Okay now this was getting ridiculous. "Fine." I walked right over and plopped myself down next to Shining Armor. The entire room looked at me like I'd sprouted a third head. I rolled my eyes and crossed my forehooves. "Don't y'all give me that! I've read a psychology text book or two and it's pretty dang obvious y'all want us to sit on one couch like a council of doom and mess with the heads of the poor married couple over here. I don't know what they did, but it ain't right to treat 'em like that." Shining Armor looked like I'd plunged a knife in his gut. "Please gods make it stop..." "No." Celestia and Luna said in unison. "At least not yet." Luna added more charitably. Now even Twilight was looking peeved. "Okay, what is going on here?" Luna cleared her throat. "There has been a serious breach of etiquette perpetrated against you two." Okay, now I was even more lost. "Huh?" Cadence turned to me. "Applejack... I dug up your original birth certificate." The room froze. A thousand thoughts flew threw my head with a thousand emotions besides. Finally I just settled on turning to them and asking. "Why?" Shining looked down. "Because I asked her to. Applejack, I'm so sorry I dug up your past. I was just worried for Twilight and-" Okay. That set me off. "Worried?! You thought I was going to hurt her?" He shook his head. "No! It's just I was... Confused when I saw your current documents and-" "Get out." Came a voice. We froze, turning our heads to Twilight. I had seen Twilight angry before, but this was different. She glared daggers at the royal couple. "You thought my girlfriend was soooo bad that you turned up half of Equestria to find an extremely personal document that doesn't mean anything!? And you didn't even talk to me about it!" Shining winced. "Twilight, I-" Twilight reached out with her magic and held his lips shut. "You never asked me, Shining! You violated my... a national hero's privacy without so much as asking me if there was cause for it! What, are you going to dig up dirt on all of my friends now? Watch everything I do? I'm a Princess! Applejack is an Element of Harmony! And you hurt her for..! Agh!" She wheeled on the Pink Alicorn, "And Cadence! You're supposed to be responsible! You were the one I could trust with everything! You..." Tears filled her eyes. "I can't do this." she left, the whole castle shook when she slammed the door behind her. There was a moment of silence. I eyed the broken royal couple on the couch and said. "Your thrashing has been postponed." Then I chased after my marefriend. # I found her in the hallway, crammed behind a column. A maid showed up looking concerned but I waved her away. I put a hoof on my marefriend's shoulder. "Twi?" "I'm so sorry." She said. Tears were pouring down her face. "Please don't leave me..." My eyes went wide. "What in Tarnation..? Twi, I ain't gonna leave ya 'cause your brother's a plot hole. You didn't even do nothing!" She sniffled... In the movies they always make crying look clean and pretty, but she was just covered in snot and miserable. I hugged her tight and offered her my hat. "Here, wipe your face sugarcube." "But your-" I rolled my eyes. "Do y'all know how many hats I have? Don't worry about it." She wiped herself. "Y'all feel better?" She nodded. She cuddled up into my hooves and we just sat there for a bit. I felt the warmth of her body and the easy press of her chest as her breathing slowed. When it was back to normal, I nuzzled her. "So... What do you want to do now. We don't have to move for a spell if y'all don't want to, but-" She kissed me, long and deep. You could tell it was less for romance and more for comfort, but I kissed her back all the same. She pulled back, I could see the rational part of her brain slowly trying to reassert itself. "I guess... Shining did tell us and try to apologize. That means something... Not much, but something." She turned to me. "Are you okay?" I thought about it. Was what Shining did in any way okay? No. Would I have done it for my little sister..? Maybe. If I was drunk or somethin'. I sighed. "Honestly after the whole comin' out to you thing I was thinking of spreading my story around a bit anyway. Ya know, getting it more out in the open so junk like this don't happen. Am I offended by Shining poking around in my dirty laundry? Yes. Am I suddenly scared the Princess of Love is going to burn me at the stake? Not hardly." Twilight hugged me tight. "I'm just so angry that they didn't ask me! I could have just told them I knew what the deal with your birth certificate was and it wasn't a big deal." I snorted. "Yeah, I guess that would have solved things right quick." "Quickly." "I'm using personal language." Twilight giggled. "Well, at least you know the word for it." She frowned. "So... What now?" I shrugged. It really was the question of the day. "I guess we try and figure out what to say about all this." I looked down at her. Oh no, I'd turned on her grinding logic engine. Her ears were twitchin' like crazy. Her mind was racing a million miles a minute. "Uh... We can draw charts if you like?" "Yes please." # Once in my life I'd failed the entirety of Equestria by letting myself be tricked into thinking a terrifying insect monster was my wife. Considering that mind magic was involved, I considered today the greater failure. Cadence was openly crying on my shoulder. I held her head, petting her gently. Part of me wanted to race after Twily and beg for forgiveness, but the cold, rational part of me told me that was a terrible idea. Luna had insisted that we stay put and Celestia backed her up... So we just sat there... Sulking... For an hour. Eventually, the door to the hallway opened and Applejack walked in, carrying a small stack of papers. "Your attention, please." We stood bolt upright. Applejack cleared her throat. "Firstly! Celestia, do you have any idea what's going on?" The princess of the sun blinked. "... No actually, I know that my niece and nephew violated your privacy by digging up your old birth certificate, but beyond that... There are times when my sister's predilection for privacy requires my unknowing support." "Do y'all want to know?" The Sun Princess' eyes went wide. "Oh me yes!" "I'm trans." Applejack stated flatly. Celestia took in a breath, then clopped her hoof in realization. "That explains so much!" AJ raised an eyebrow. The diarch of Equestria's face was a study. "Not that you're obviously masculine! I mean, you do have some masculine manerisms... Not that that's a bad thing! And it's not like they're... You're obviously female, it's just that all of these odd circumstances are difficult to explain without..." AJ held up a hoof. "It's fine! I know what y'all mean. 'sides, I got Princess Celestia to shove a hoof in her mouth. I get to put that there on my tombstone. Let's move on." She turned to us. "Cadence, Shining Armor. Do you have any problem at all with Twi and Me being together?" "NO!" We shouted in unison. I reached out a hoof. "Applejack, you're incredible! I couldn't care less about you-" "I ain't done." She said firmly. She flipped to the next page. "Twilight will be glad to hear you say that. However, she's about as riled as a rattlesnake in a corn harvester so barring official emergencies she ain't talkin' to you two for a month." I felt a knife sink into my heart... At least it wasn't five years. "In addition, we are going to request your financial and political resources for a special project." Special project? "Done." I said without a second's hesitation. At this point I would happily march an army into Griffonstone if it would make this right. The earth pony nodded. "Good to hear. The details will be sent to you shortly. Now, Luna!" The Night Princess blinked. "Yes, fair Applejack?" "Did y'all lie to us about this being casual and make us come to Canterlot just so you could force an apology out of these two?" Luna winced. "I... Well, we were planning a trip to the spa after we all made up." AJ gave her a cold nod. "That's a 'yes' then." She flipped to another page. "We'll take that spa date, but you, Cadence, and Shining are sitting it out. Princess Celestia, if you'd care to join us?" The Princess of the Sun blinked. "Me?" "Y'all are the only pony in this room who ain't done nothing wrong, so yes." AJ smiled at her. "If you want to take us to the spa so we can all unwind, that sounds mighty fine." Recovering from her previous loss of grace, she nodded. "I would be delighted. A carriage awaits us." AJ smiled. "Great then. Let's get the hay out of here." That said, she folded the paper up and turned to the door. I held up a hoof. "Wait... That's it? What would have happened if we answered differently?" "Y'all don't want to know. Now Princess, I don't know about y'all, but I need a massage somethin' fierce..."