With the dawn and the next rise of Celestia’s Sun, the Mane 6 rose again to the familiar enticing smells of breakfast wafting
up the stairwell to their eager noses.
Again, though, Applejack bolted upright in bed and put her hat on, looking almost like a steely-eyed Colt Eastwood herself. (Never could abide anypony else working in her kitchen space; not even family.) But a few soothing backrubs from Pinkie Pie, and a little coaxing from Fluttershy to lay down her hat and let her mane be combed, soon untangled the farm mare’s taut nerves. Rainbow Dash lightly fanned AJ’s brow with her wings, and even Rarity jumped in with a hoofnail file to groom AJ’s quadrupedal pride-&-joys.
All were trying to quell the mounting desire they could see in their friend’s emerald green eyes, to stomp somepony into corn meal if breakfast went wrong a second time.
Applejack darted a glance over at Twilight, and saw the Princess had also risen bolt-upright, thrown the bed covers off her face, and shared the same steely grimace on her own tangle-maned visage. But Spike was also hard at work, massaging Twilight’s flared wings and taut shoulders.
“You thinkin’ what a’m thinkin’?” asked Applejack.
“Ey-yup…” said Twilight with a sly grin, imitating Big MacIntosh, “…he’d better get it right this time, or else breakfast or no breakfast…I’m dining on cheese sandwich this morning! Heh-heh-heh!” The mad look in Twilight’s eyes seemed to hearken back to her ‘lesson zero’ mental breakdown sometime back.
At this, Pinkie Pie suddenly stopped her backrubbing, her baby-blue eyes and staring back at Twilight.
“Oopsie…” she thought, “…maybe Twilight is a cannibal after all! Horrors…”
She really hoped Twilight was only kidding…
But…just to be safe, she darted out of the Mane-6 group bedroom, and zoomed downstairs to help out Cheese in the kitchen!
The others simply paused for a while, staring at the double doors…then BURST OUT LAUGHING!!!
“(*Giggle*) I can’t believe she fell for that one!” said Twilight in a fit of laughter.
“OH, I DIDN'T" said Pinkie Pie, suddenly re-appearing in the doorway!
“GOT’CHA!” she said triumphantly, then snortled and giggled as she skip-bounced all the way back down the stairs.
Stunned looks, melting into exasperated half-frowns/half-grins, shown on the rest of the Friendship Court’s faces.
“(*Heh*) No fooling the Pinkster!” said Rainbow Dash, shrugging her hooves in mid-air.
***
Breakfast a-la Cheese, Take 2.
And this time, it seemed, all fears were unfounded. No overnight mishaps with the fridge, all the ingredients were right, true to their freshness dates, and not an ant in sight. The milk was smooth, cool and sweet. The fruits were fresh and delicious. The apple juice was “freshly-squeezed” from the juice press, and the toast & butter was savory. The only difference now was: instead of cereal, everyone dined on ‘Flapjacks a-la Cheese.’ (A special cheddar & corn pancake recipe’ he & Pinkie found together.) Hoofclaps & congratulations rang around the table; then they all tucked in heartily, as Cheese, clad again in chef’s hat & apron, softly played a Prench medley on accordion for background dining music. Spike especially enjoyed his helping: complete with specks of tiny red fire-jewels mixed into his stack. “Mmm…spicy.” he commented.
“See? Told you they’d like it…” said a triumphant Pinkie Pie, leering smugly back at her former party counterpart.
“Okay…second time’s the charm, I guess!” Cheese declared, finishing the medley. “Wish I could say the same for my job hunt. No scores there; not even the sixth time around.” At this, Cheese deflated his accordion, which now wheezed off key. Around the table, all eyes drooped sadly.
“Well, no one can say you haven’t tried your best, right?” asked Pinkie Pie, smiling and batting her eyelashes.
Applejack opened her mouth to say something, but a pink blur zoomed over to her and covered her mouth with a hoof.
"Don't answer that!" Pinkie stage-whispered.
Twilight lowered her head, sighed heavily…then straightened up, the same steely grimace she rose out of bed with this morning, now fixed firmly back on her face.
“Well, Cheese…I guess you know perfectly well what that means, don’t you?” said Twilight, flaring her wings slightly.
“(*Sigh*) I know, I know…” said Cheese, untying the apron and taking off the chef hat, “…after dishes, it’s off
to the job board at Town Hall for me.” He wrung the puffy topper in his hooves as he said it.
Pinkie blurred back over to Cheese, and gave his shoulders a soothing hoof-rub.
“Aw, come on, Cheesy…” she said, “…despite what some ponies think…” she glowered at AJ, then beamed back at Cheese, “…you have been trying your best. Why in less than a week, you’ve gone from working just one job, to working six different jobs! Baker, apple bucker, tailor, animal caregiver, librarian, and weather pony! All that, and party pony besides? (*Gasp*) That’s seven different job skills! I’m amazed at how far you’ve come!!”
“WHOA! Hold your horses right there, little missy…” said Cheese, lapsing into his Colt Eastwood voice again, then resumed his normal voice. “Look, Pinkie, just because I tried six different jobs in six days, doesn't mean I was skilled at them. I mean, you all saw me; I was terrible! I could never be a career pony at any of those jobs! And I only have 18 days left after today, before I’m evicted. So…unless I find something else I’m good at on the job board and soon…(*Sigh*)…then I guess I am just a one-trick pony, about to become a homeless bum.”
"NO!" a harsh voice neighed from across the table! All eyes turned to the speaker…Princess Twilight Sparkle.
“DON'T YOU DARE TALK LIKE THAT ABOUT YOURSELF! I for one agree with Pinkie Pie: you have been trying your best! The only problem I see here, is that you’re confusing your failures at these new jobs with your own self-worth. And you’re letting it undermine your confidence! Not everypony succeeds at changing careers overnight. Some have to fail at a lot of things, before they find new success. I should know. In magic school, I failed my entrance exam several tries over, before the big breakthrough came that enabled me to pass. But even then, I still failed several times at mastering certain spells. Science class, too; I can’t begin to tell you how many experiments of mine failed on several tries, before I finally got them right. You’ve spent nearly a lifetime being nothing but a party success, and have never known failure professionally, until now. So…perhaps this is your time to fail at lots of things, before you finally succeed. Okay, then. If that’s what it takes, then DO IT! TRY! FAIL! TRY AGAIN! FAIL AGAIN! But most importantly… LEARN from your failures! Stop looking at failure as your punishment for not fitting in! I think you’ll find as I do every day, that you learn more from that, than from constant success. And the most important lesson is… NEVER allow a string of constant failures, to be your excuse for NOT TRYING one more time!”
CHEERS and HOOFCLAPS erupted all around the table!
“Told ‘ya.” said Pinkie, nudging Cheese in the shoulder. “Oh, and remind me to tell you what happened with the Cutie Mark Crusaders. You remember them, right? Anyway, they’d been trying for the longest time over and over again to earn their cutie marks without success…and then one day, they finally did it! (*Sniff*) I’m still gushing over that one myself. Best Cute'ceanera party EVER!”
“Cutie Mark Crusad…” Cheese mouthed, trying to remember, “...ers, um…wait, you mean those three little school fillies who tried to pair as up as ‘special someponies,’ like it was Hearts & Hooves Day? Oooh, boy…yep, I remember that, all right… Wait-what? Cute'ceanera? You threw a Cute'ceanera party for them, and you didn't invite me? When did this happen? Was it before or after my Cheesy Sense crashed? Oh, boy, I’m falling way out of touch with the party circuit…”
“Shh-shh-shh, relax, Cheesy…” said Pinkie, almost sounding like Fluttershy as she hoof-rubbed his back again,
“…that’s not the most important thing for you, right now. Just concentrate on…”
(*AHEM!*) Pinky…” the Friendship Princess ordered, “I think he knows what he needs to concentrate on.”
She then looked expectantly at Cheese, as did the others around the table.
Cheese straightened up. “(*Ahem*) Yes, your Highness…dishes…job board…no giving up. Got it."
He gave a curt hoof-salute.
“Good.” said Twilight.
***
In due course, after clearing the Castle Dining Hall table and washing & putting away the dishes, the ex-party pony trotted his (*gulp*) less-than-merry way…to Ponyville Town Hall. By now it was mid-morning, and the town teemed with life as other equines came & went going about their business, completely oblivious to the increase in gravity Cheese was definitely feeling, with each arduous step he took up the stairs to the Mane Entrance.
Once inside, Cheese ambled about, taking the walking tour without a guide so to speak, in search of the community bulletin boards.
He soon came to a small gallery, with a long cork board on the wall, divided into 6 sections: Lost & Found, Housing, Yard Sales, Classifieds, Legals, and----(sigh) yep, there it was---Employment. Chills ran up & down his legs. Beads of sweat formed on his face. He began to take slow deep breaths to counteract his quickening heartbeat. Then, once sure his anxieties were under control, Cheese Sandwich stepped closer, and began to study the posted ads intently.
“Okay, let’s see now…Wanted: Experienced carpenter, nope… Experienced bricklayer, nope… Experienced plumber, nope…(sigh) Experienced, experienced, experienced…they all want ponies with experience in every field except mine! Come on, please…house DJ, events planner, wedding planner, birthday planner---ANYTHING!"
But the harder Cheese looked, the less he found that applied to him. He was just about ready to turn around and kick-buck
the whole blasted board to Kingdom Come-----when suddenly he felt a light hoof tap on his shoulder, and heard a gruff
voice speak to him:
“(*Ahem*) Excuseth me, thou fine young lad…but wilst thou direct me to yon place for posting the 'help wanted' adverts?”
Cheese Sandwich turned his head to see---a tall, scruffy-haired middle-aged stallion clad in a white starched collar & long black necktie, and a flat-brimmed black hat. And he bore a pick-axe cutie mark on his flanks.
Next to the elder pony stood a shorter younger grey mare with purple pageboy-trimmed mane and stony bluish-grey eyes.
A plain dark-blue dress covered the rest of her form, flanks and all, and she held an unfurled scroll of paper in her teeth. It said:
"Help Wanted: Farm hoof. Seasonal labor. No prior experience needed.
Full wages, plus room & board. Inquire: Rock Pie Farm,
Rambling Rock Ridge, east of Ponyville."
“Um…sure. It’s right here: the General Employment Board. But, hey, you know…if you’re hiring, I’m looking!"
said Cheese, accommodatingly.
The elder stranger paused, cocked his head to one side a bit, then squinted his wrinkled eyes. He walked a wide circle around Cheese, studying the young pony’s build, his back, his legs. After completing his circle, the elder put a hoof to Cheese’s jaw, lowering the mouth open to check his teeth. All the while, a completely baffled Cheese Sandwich kept stock-still, and nervously went along with the examination. The younger mare just stared blankly, devoid of all emotion.
At last, the elder pony seemed to make up his mind. “Thou seemest able-bodied and strong enough for farm work.
Good teeth as well.”
“(Heh) Never look a gift horse in the mouth, I always say!” said Cheese with a SQUEE grin.
Nonplussed by this lame attempt at humor, the elder asked, “Canst thou start first thing tomorrow morning?”
“WOW! Sure thing! (*ahem*) I mean… I do owe 3 months back rent in Manehattan in the next 17 days, so yes, I’m pretty
anxious to pay it off------with good, clean, hard-earned bits!” an elated Cheese explained, as the elder clapped a hoof on his shoulder.
“Saints be praised for an honest stud! Thou art HIRED! Pray tell, what wouldst thy name be, sir?”
After a momentary blush, Cheese gave them his name. Neither elder nor mare seemed to bat an eye.
“(Heh) What can I say? We can’t choose the names we’re born with, right?” said Cheese with another SQUEE grin.
Nonchalantly, Maud opened her mouth, let the no-longer-needed ad scroll flutter to the floor, and said in a deadpan voice:
“Oh, yes…I recognize you now. You’re that Super-Duper Party Pony my sister Pinkie’s been writing to me about.”
Cheese’s chartreuse eyes went WIDE, and his jaw nearly dropped to the floor! “Thou KNOWEST---I mean, you KNOW Pinkie Pie?”
“We are her kin.” said the elder. “I am Igneous Rock Pie, son of Feldspar Granite Pie, and owner of Rock Pie Farm.
This is my eldest daughter, Maud."
“Pleased to meet you.” said Maud flatly, as she offered a hoof to shake.
“Well-well-well, it is an honor indeed to make YOUR acquaintance!” said an excited Cheese Sandwich,
as he vigorously shook the hooves of the two farm relations of his dearest friend.
***
A while later, the newly-formed trio was seated at a table outside Fernando’s Café, having lunch together.
Cheese was enjoying a Fromage Melt on Rye, while the Pies were awaiting their orders of “stone soup.”
A basket of seemingly burnt biscuits sat at table center.
“Now let me get this straight…” asked Cheese, quizzically, “…you harvest rocks?"
“Of course.” Igneous explained. “T’is what makes our farm land valuable. Ponies needeth rocks, especially in the cities. Rocks doth make good stepping stones, good for building fireplaces and other good, sturdy, useful structures. The mineral values alone art priceless. Why, without rocks, things like cement, concrete, clay, tar or brick couldst not exist. Rocks art the foundation of the world. Without them, land is…but mere dirt. Didst thou not know this, Mr. Cheese?”
Cheese could only blink in befuddlement. He glanced over at Maud, stone-faced as ever.
“I’m studying to be a geologist. Rocks are hot. And cool. They rock. They rule.”
Not even a hint of a smile, but Cheese was definitely feeling her vibes on the subject.
Then suddenly, Maud opened wide and CHOMPED into one of the biscuits! “Mmm…I love the rolls in this place…”
she mumbled with her mouth full as she chewed on the un-malleable bread: “(*crunch, crunch*)…they’re hard as rocks.
(*scrunch, munch*)”
Cheese could only swallow hard to force his own meal down his throat instead of it catching on the back of his tongue.
A waiter brought two bowls of soup, each with a tall black rock sitting in thick green broth, for the Pies.
Cheese went bug-eyed as they each started lapping up their exotic meal of choice.
“Hmm…these two are the Real McColts, all right. I must have rocks in my head for taking this job…but if it pays,
what the hay?” Cheese thought to himself. “Looks like I’m in for a real bland diet, though. Hope my kidneys
can take it.”
As the trio continued eating, Igneous kept glancing back at Cheese, as though trying to remember something.
Cheese blinked in puzzlement, but with his mouth full of sandwich, he decided against asking.
***
Soon lunch was over and paid for, and Cheese was walking with the Pies to the Ponyville Train Depot. While waiting
for their train, Igneous asked: “Pray tell, Mr. Cheese…seems I recalleth yon Maud mentioning back at City Hall, that
thou wert a…party pony? An…entertainer?"
The look Igneous gave Cheese was a dubious one, at best.
Caught like a stray dog in the path of an oncoming cart now, Cheese froze, not sure how to answer,
but sensed the whole job deal could go sour if he accidentally gave the wrong one.
“Umm, before I answer that…” Cheese said at last, hoping to buy time to save face, “…why do you ask?"
Igneous paused, gave a hint of a smile, and nodded over to Maud to explain.
“A few seasons back,” Maud began droning, “we met a unicorn mare who…claimed to be a famous traveling stage magician. That is, until her cart got smashed. Like you, she was down on her luck and looking for work. So Dad hired her to work the farm for the harvest season. She wasn’t really that good with a mouth hammer; kept levitating it with her magic instead, to break up rocks and haul her loads. Constantly complained about getting dirty or how hard the work was, bragging how she was meant for greater things, and grumbled all the time about ‘getting even’ with somepony who’d wronged her. Had a crescent moon & star wand for a cutie mark, always wore the same pointed hat & cape, and referred to herself in third person as ‘The Great and Powerful…”
"...TRIXIE!?" said Cheese in revelation! Igneous stared, mouth agape in amazement!
Across the platform stood the Wizard Pony Trixie herself! Catching a glance at Cheese and realizing who was with him, she quickly raised a hoof to her lips and mimed: "SHHH!!" Then, with a quick flash of her horn, she vanished from sight! Not a trace remained.
Cheese only blinked for a moment, sure and yet not sure of what he saw. No rise from Maud or Igneous,
so Cheese decided to mince words.
“Ummm…Yes, Pinkie and her friends told me all about her! It was Twilight Sparkle she wanted to get back at! But, last
I’d heard, they’d settled their differences. Haven’t seen Trixie around Equestria in a long time, though. Probably on tour
in Saddle Arabia, or Yakyakistan or somewhere.” Cheese answered, SQUEE-grinning a third time.
Igneous didn’t appear to be buying it. The elder turned his head aside and lifted a hoof to his chin, studying Cheese sidelong.
Trembling…Cheese hastily changed his story: “Okay, okay…we’d met from time to time on the road between gigs.
You know: fellow traveling entertainers, helping each other out, camaraderie…that sort of thing?”
“Oh, I was not chiding the lifestyle, young colt.” Igneous replied, “A noble profession I am sure, this ‘traveling
entertainment business.’ I was merely wondering…”
At this, Cheese took a deep breath and straightened up. “Sir…you are looking at a pony who is NOT afraid to get his hooves dirty!
No whiny prima donna me! There’s no mountain I won’t climb, no rock I won’t chip down, and no spot of earth I won’t move at your command! Lead me to thy harness; this work horse is READY!"
“SPLENDID!” said Igneous, now himself shaking Cheese by the hoof! “One bad pebble doth not spoil the quarry!
Thou hast this day restored an old pony’s faith! Just be on the first morning train out to Rambling Rock Ridge on the morrow. ”
“YES, SIR!” said Cheese, with a hoof-salute!
Cheese stole another glance over at Maud as the train pulled into the station.
Still no change in the stoic mare’s expression. Only the softly spoken phrase: “Talk is cheap. Dirt is expensive.”
Cheese Sandwich knew---as did Maud, he suspected---that he had just now put himself between a rock and a hard place. It could well be his last chance to prove himself a success at doing other work than parties. His last chance to make his rent deadline or be evicted. But the die was cast now. He’d made the commitment, and only more shame & disgrace would come from turning back now. He had to follow through. He waved a hoof goodbye to the Pies as they boarded, and the Friendship Express chugged on its merry way.
Glancing back across the platform to the point where he spotted Trixie, Cheese thought he now saw a...smile, suspended in mid-air, before it too, vanished.
Well…this was certainly a productive day, Cheese had to admit. He would be giving a full report to the Mane 6 at dinner tonight at Friendship Castle. He could just hear Pinkie now, bouncing all over the place like a rubber ball of ‘nervouscitement,’ gushing about how he’ll love her family, the farm, about the first party she ever threw in a silo just for them, and on and on and on, well into the night. He could almost feel Twilight’s wing on his shoulder, and hearing her gladly say, “Well done, Cheese Sandwich. Make us proud!"
He wouldn’t have much to pack, he knew. He came to town in not much more than the shirt on his back.
And…(*sniff-sniff*) ewww….was IT in need of a good laundering tonight.
[CONTINUED NEXT CHAPTER…]