In Canterlot, a mare of quality must possess a hoof-full of essential qualities. No, beauty, style, and trendiness are not in that hoof-full. Beauty fades, styles change, and once you start chasing trends one can never stop. Instead, a mare must possess grace, poise, and humor, among others. Grace keeps one from pettiness and politicking and opens more doors should others close them. Poise is a trait outside of time; one with poise is seen as a rock of steadiness in an unsure world. Humor ensures that you remain sane in the face of adversity.
Did Lovely possess those virtues?
"Mez, I'm telling you this as someone who loves you. Shove it up your tight hind end." Lovely said eloquently.
“Lovely Prose, it is the nature of the business in which we work that authors take on a pen-name.” Her agent repeated.
“Why wouldn’t I want my own name on this book, Messy?” She asked with a pout.
Removing his glasses, Measured Prose, brother, agent, and life coach massaged his forehead. “For one, not to humiliate your family.” He said darkly.
Shocked, Lovely pointed a hoof at his face. “You take that back, Mess!”
He looked up, defiant. “You think mom and dad want our family’s name on ‘The Importance of Banging Earnest?”
Lovely rolled her eyes. “That’s just the work in progress title, I was going to class it up eventually.”
Measured sniffed and turned to the bottle of hard cider he kept in the sidebar in his office. “To top it all off, it’s about gay ponies, Love. You know how dad feels about them.” He filled two glasses and levitated them over to the window-seat his sister now occupied.
Lovely took her glass with her own magic. “He’s just too old-fashioned! Get with the times! Also, how many other books can claim a gay protagonist?”
“None worth reading.” Measured said. He took a sip from his glass.
Lovely swept a hoof upwards in victory. “Exactly! I’ll be pioneering a new land.”
Measured snorted. “More like ploughing the back field.” He said into his glass.
She tapped his shoulder in reproof. “I’m not sure I like the comparison, Mez.”
Measured drained the rest and stood. “Pick a name. Any name. As long as it’s not your name.”
Throwing back her own, Lovely set the glass down sharply. “Fine, I pick…Messy Primrose.”
Measured whirled around. “Lovely!”
Lovely shook her head. “Nope! No Lovely's here. I’m Messy Primrose, writer of horrid smutty gay stories.”
Slumping his shoulders, Measured conceded. “I never said it was horrid.”
“Ha! I knew you’d like it.” Lovely said, clapping her hooves.
“Lovely! Focus!” Taking a seat at his desk, he picked up a quill and legal pad in his magic.
“If you insist." She cantered over to the front of his desk and sat like a lady on the chair in front. "I believe I'll use L. P. Rose.’
“Oh that’s subtle.” Measured said as he rolled his eyes.
“Take it or leave it, Mez.” Lovely said with her nose in the air.
"You're being a brat." Measured said as he narrowed his eyes.
She brushed imaginary dirt from her coat. "No, you're being too picky! L.P. Rose or I go on strike!"
"Celestia forbid you ever go on strike. If you're not writing, you're miserable to be around. Actually, now that I think about it, you're miserable to be around when you're writing as well." He complained with a huff.
Lovely stood and threw her head back. Her gold and cherry red mane flowed as if caught in the wind. She regarded her older brother seriously. "Measured Prose." She began, and he knew he was in trouble by the way she used his real name. "You are to submit this and any future works I have under the name L.P. Rose. If father has a problem, he can take it up with me directly. Is that understood?"
"Lovely, even the best cover name is blown eventually. You'll be associated with these - and I use your own words here - smutty romance novels for your entire career. It could even blow your chances at regular fiction."
"Mez, these stories need to be told. I firmly believe that there isn't enough acceptance of all things romantic. If we can't express our desires, how can we fully live our lives? I'll change the title, but the story and my commitment to it, remains."
Measured sighed. "Fine. There's a publisher that might just work with us. They usually go for straight couples, but they might just bite at this."
"Who?" She asked.
He replied as he turned back to his papers. "Barleyquin Romance."
"I've read a few of those!" She said, excitedly drumming her hooves on his desk.
"I'm not surprised." He rescued his inkwell from Lovely's assault.
"Can it, Mez." She turned, nearly knocking the inkwell over with her tail.
"We can get it published, but that's no guarantee anypony will read it. Do you have a plan on that?" He asked.
She turned her head back over her shoulder. "I've already booked a table at the next writer's convention. And I'll be hosting a panel on writing from different viewpoints. I'll just need you to make sure the book's printed, as well as a few fliers, bookmarks, and business cards."
Measured stood up, his nerves plain to see in his widened eyes and trembling lower lip. "Lovely, that's too much attention! What if dad sees this?"
"As if father pays any attention to the convention scene anymore. Stuffy old stallion would probably implode if he ever got near the romance section." Lovely snarked.
"He'll find out. He'll kick you out, too." Measured said.
She turned around to face him. "I was going to have to move out sooner or later, Mez." Measured heaved a sigh.
"And I suppose you think you can just move in with me?" He replied, his stance and expression back to normal.
"I can't?" She asked, coyly batting her lashes.
He shook his head. "Don't be silly, of course you can."