The next morning I was on a crowded train to the Crystal Empire. Though it had only been days since I last saw Shining Armor and Cadance, it had felt like a month. I needed to see them, to be somewhere familiar. It would be nice to see how the Crystal Empire had changed as well. It was certainly pulling in hundreds of tourists.
It was just after noon by the time I arrived. One significant difference is the lack of snow coming up to the Empire, replaced by bright green fields. The arctic peaks to the north still stood, but they were a strange contrast to the bright and warm Empire.
Bright and warm. How strange that it had been cold and dreary once upon a time. It was livelier than Canterlot, and lacked the harshness of Manehattan. No wonder so many ponies were coming here, just coming out of the train station was enough to lighten your mood.
“Lieutenant Shield, Sir?” called one of the nearby crystal guards.
I looked at the stallion confusedly. “How do you know who I am?”
The guard saluted. “You and the other Officers from Canterlot were described to us by Prince Shining Armor. He was to be informed should they ever come to the Empire.”
“Ah, excellent. Go tell him I’m on my way to the castle.”
“Yes Sir. Would you like an escort?”
“I’ll be fine, thanks.”
The guard nodded and trotted off to the castle, which shone like a beacon of light compared to when I last saw it. I followed after the guard at a walk, taking time to soak in all the changes. The Crystal Ponies were all about, speaking with tourists and selling souvenirs now that their home was the number-one place to visit. I swear I spotted some horses from Saddle Arabia in the crowds.
I finally reached the castle and felt strangely exposed. I wasn’t wearing my armor, and I didn’t have a sword, two more big differences about coming here. It felt like I shouldn’t be here like this.
Thankfully Shining Armor dispelled that feeling as he came out of the castle, also without armor.
“Hey, Swordulan, I’m glad you finally decided to visit!” he said, trotting up to me. “Perfect timing, too. Cadance and I have been working our flanks off the past few days to make sure everything’s going smoothly for the Empire. It didn’t take much, and thankfully Twilight and her friends really helped revive the Crystal Ponies’ culture, but things were still pretty hectic for a while. It’s finally settling down, thank goodness.”
I raised an eyebrow. “Settling down even with trainload after trainload of tourists?”
Shining Armor smiled and gestured towards the distant train station. “The Crystal Ponies are taking care of that. They’re quite accommodating, and they work hard to make sure everypony has the best experience coming here. Doesn’t surprise me, after what they’ve gone through. So, any specific reason you’re visiting? I thought you’d be working today.”
“I’m on break.”
“That never stopped you before.”
I shrugged. “It did this time.”
Shining Armor frowned. “What happened?”
“It’s a long story.”
“You can tell me and Cadance about it over lunch then. Are you hungry?”
I nodded. I’d only had a small breakfast, which was rather poor foresight. My mind wasn’t thinking straight.
We went inside, and after a few flights of stairs met up and exchanged hellos with Cadance in the large dining hall. Lunch was already spread across the table, a mix of fruit and vegetable salads and sparkling apple cider. It all looked delicious, but before I could sit down, Cadance gasped in shock. At me!
“Swordulan, what happened!?” she exclaimed.
“What do you mean?” I asked confusedly.
Cadance pointed to my flank. “Your cutie mark, two of the stars have disappeared.”
I glanced back at my cutie mark, but everything seemed where it was meant to be. Sword, shield, and the four stars beside and below them. I raised an eyebrow at her. “I don’t get it, my cutie mark looks fine. Is this some kind of joke you wanted to try on me?”
Cadance and Shining Armor suddenly looked so serious it was almost frightening. So… they weren’t joking? Or were they trying that hard to convince me?
“Shining Armor?” Cadance said, glancing to him.
Shining Armor nodded. “I’m on it.” He trotted out, leaving Cadance staring at me with a frown.
“Come on,” I said, not buying whatever they were trying to pull. “What’s this about?”
Cadance sighed and began pacing as if she didn’t know how to deal with something. “Swordulan, you used to have six stars on your cutie mark, not four. There are two missing above the shield. This is not a joke.”
I gaped at her, unable to believe it. I never remembered having more than four stars! Yet she sounded totally convinced I used to have six. Was this just a dream? Or the work of some magic spell?
Before I could think of an answer, Shining Armor came back in with a picture levitating beside him. He brought it up to me. It was a picture of us three from their wedding. I had six stars.
I frowned. “This isn’t funny anymore, you two. I remember having four stars at the wedding, four stars ever since I got my cutie mark! What spell did you use to change the picture?”
Shining Armor and Cadance hesitantly glanced at each other for a moment. Cadance walked up to me, desperation on her face and in her voice.
“Swordulan, please listen to me. We didn’t cast any spell, and we’re not joking. Why do you think we would joke about something like this? It’s not funny.”
I opened my mouth, but only a choked gasp came out. I believed them. They’d never pull this sort of prank, and if they did… no way they’d act like they are now. But how? Why!?
“It must be somepony else pulling the prank!” I snapped. “Maybe a spell was cast on me somewhere, something to make my cutie mark disappear and change my memories. I… I’ll find whoever did this to me.”
Shining Armor laid a hoof on my back. “Swordulan, who would even think of doing that to you? Why would anypony?”
“I don’t…” I pulled away from Shining Armor, trying to think. Who would have… no, it was so obvious. “My father! He must have cast the spell. It’s the only thing that makes sense.”
“Your father?” Cadance asked.
“Yes! He’s always thought I was a failure, he’s never treated me with any respect. I had to do everything he told me to do, but I’ve had it with him. I’m done. I just can’t believe he’d go so low to do this to me.”
“But is he powerful enough to change your memories?” Shining Armor asked. “I thought he was just a banker.”
“He is, but—”
“Swordulan, listen to me!” Cadance said, using magic to force me to look her in the eyes and keep my mouth shut. “Your father didn’t do this to you. Nopony did. I know because there’s no such spell that can remove your cutie mark, and I’m sure you know that too! There’s only one thing it can be. Princess Celestia once told me about a self-inflicted disorder that unbalances the magic within one’s self. It can happen when a pony loses focus of their true self, and I think that’s what’s happening to you.”
My eyes widened as she released me from her magic. Losing my focus? But I had plenty of focus! If I didn’t, I’d never get anything done at work. That’s who I was, right? A Lieutenant of the Royal Guard, no more, no less. There’s no way I’d ever lose focus of that, so how could it be possible?
“How can you be sure?” I asked hesitantly, wishing I didn’t have to doubt Cadance like this.
Cadance sighed. “I’m afraid I can’t be. Princess Celestia knows more about these things than I do. You’d have to ask her.”
“I… I guess. Okay.” That was all she could tell me? I’m losing my cutie mark, and apparently my focus, and she isn’t absolutely sure why or how? What if Celestia can’t help me? Oh, ponyfeathers, I wish this wasn’t happening.
“I’m sorry pal,” Shining Armor said, putting a sympathetic hoof on my back. “I wish there was more we could do to help.”
I slowly shook my head. “It’s not your fault. I’ll just… have to see Princess Celestia later and hope she can help me.”
“We’re here for you too,” Cadance said. “If there’s anything you need, let us know.”
Shining Armor nodded. “Are you willing to stay for lunch?”
I looked between them and the table of salads and cider. “Um… sure, thanks. Maybe it’ll help clear my head.”
“Come on and sit down,” Cadance said, pulling a chair out with her magic.
I thanked her and sat down, and Shining Armor and Cadance sat across from me. They were soon discussing the things that still needed attention in the Empire and plans for the day. I kept silent throughout, too occupied in my head wondering about my cutie mark. I was still convinced it had something to do with my father. Maybe he said something that made me lose focus on some aspect of myself, though that made little sense. He hardly said a thing.
I’d just have to wait to see Princess Celestia.
I suddenly realized Shining Armor was looking at me and had asked a question.
“What was that?” I asked.
“Your sword,” Shining Armor said. “You didn’t bring it with you?”
“Ah, that. I left it with Twilight so she could study it.”
“Oh? Was there something wrong with the enchantment?”
“No, it’s just been acting a bit strange. Making the sword really warm at times, and I still don’t know why it’s as powerful as it is. I thought Twilight could figure it out.”
Shining Armor nodded thoughtfully. “Makes sense. I’ve also wondered about its power, as you’ve pulled some pretty crazy stunts with it.”
“Maybe you’re better with enchanting than you thought,” Cadance said.
I shrugged. “I doubt it. I hardly poured that much magic into it.”
“I’m sure Twily will figure it out,” Shining Armor said, standing up and beginning to clear the table with his magic now that we had finished up lunch. “Anyway, I’ve got a routine guard check to do. You wanna join me, Swordulan?”
I quickly drank the last of my cider and also stood up. “No, I think I’m gonna go back to Canterlot to see Celestia. This whole disappearing cutie mark thing is just… a lot to take in.”
“We understand,” Cadance said, already up and pushing in the chairs with her magic. “I hope you’re able to learn what’s wrong and fix it. You’re welcome back any time.”
“Don’t wait too long to visit though,” Shining Armor said. “I could use your help to reorganize the Crystal Guard’s paperwork system soon. It’s still a thousand years behind.”
I gave a weak smile. “Alright. Maybe I’ll come by next week, I’m curious to know how a thousand year old system works. See you guys.”
I turned to leave, but Cadance wouldn’t let me go without a quick hug.
“Have a safe trip back,” she said.
It was a long trip back, and I couldn’t stop staring at the blank spaces where stars used to be in my cutie mark. When I realized Shining Armor and Cadance were telling the truth, it felt so wrong. Everything in my memory rejected it. But as I stared at where those two stars were meant to be, it began to feel right. There really was something missing, but I didn’t know what it was or how I lost it. If it didn’t have to do with my father, what else?
After the hours of those repeated thoughts, the train finally pulled into Canterlot. I was about to walk out the door when I noticed a picture on the wall of a past Captain of the Royal Guard—Steel Shield, my grandfather. I had never met him when I was young, as he’d passed away a time before then, but I recognized him from pictures. I hadn’t seen this one before though, and it looked like it had been taken shortly before his passing. His mane had grayed and his coat’s white shine had weakened, but that didn’t take away from his strong presence. He was dressed in a light yellow uniform with multiple badges attached to a blue strap across his chest, signifying his position and accomplishments.
It was strange, seeing a picture of him like that—old and weakening, but still confident and stoic. As inspiring as a Captain should be, and everything I wasn’t. He wasn’t even a unicorn, he had inherited his mother’s earth pony genetics, or something like that. I wasn’t too educated on my family history.
I shouldn’t be struggling like this. I should be like him.
I turned away, no longer able to look at him, and made for the castle.
When I arrived at the throne room, Princess Celestia was nowhere to be seen. The guards didn’t know where she was and directed me to one of her assistants, who directed me to the castle study room. Upon entry, I was shocked to find Celestia intently studying none other than my sword.
Celestia turned to me as I walked in. “Swordulan, I’m glad you’re here. Twilight told me you gave her your sword to study, but apparently she wasn’t able to use her magic on it very easily, so she sent it to me. I hope you don’t mind.”
I gaped in confusion for a moment. “Oh, yeah, that’s fine. Did Twilight say she learned anything though?”
“Only as much as I have learned studying the sword thus far. It is certainly a fascinating enchantment you have, though possibly concerning too.”
“Really? Why is that?”
Celestia levitated the sword up and tapped the large crystal. “The enchantment’s magical properties seem to fluctuate randomly, which Twilight found out immediately upon casting a delving spell on it. There seems to be some kind of magic recognition pattern that only recognizes you, so when she or I have used spells on the sword, the enchantment resists them. You could say that it doesn’t like us.”
I blinked. “Doesn’t like you? How is that possible? Enchantments aren’t supposed to discriminate between unicorns.”
Celestia put the sword down. “Indeed. Twilight and I have come to only one possible conclusion—the enchantment is alive.”
My mind went blank for a moment before I was able to blurt out, “Alive? But it’s just an enchantment! How could it be alive? What does that even mean?”
“I don’t know, but as of right now that is our only explanation to why the enchantment acts the way it does. However, I am very curious to know about where you got these crystals from.”
“I bought them from the market. Why?” This didn’t make any sense.
“From the market? How long ago?”
“I don’t know, a year or two ago.”
Celestia’s eyes narrowed and she turned to an open book on a nearby table which had sketches of different crystals. “That can’t be. Those crystals resemble the kind of crystal that the Crystal Heart is made out of. They are thousands of years old and nearly impossible to find. It’s known that dragons sometimes horde those kind of crystals, but the chances of stealing one, let alone three, from a dragon’s horde is unheard of.”
I rubbed my chin thoughtfully. “Then whoever sold me them must have found them somehow, or gotten them from somepony who did. Maybe they didn’t know how rare they were.”
“It seems unlikely, but anything is possible.” Celestia turned back to me. “Do you remember where you bought them?”
“Yeah, I can go there and try to learn where they came from.”
“Excellent. I will see if I can learn anything more about your enchantment.”
As I made it outside and towards Canterlot’s markets, I noticed the sky darkening with clouds, and it slowly began to rain. A drop fell on my nose, and I quickly put a magic shield above me. Have I mentioned I hate rain? What I would give to have Shining Armor here to put a shield around Canterlot for it.
I quickened to a trot and soon made it to the shop I had bought the crystals from. I entered and cancelled my shield. It was dark and dusty inside, with only a couple candles lighting the area. Trinkets and antiques lay about the place in an unorganized mess. It was no jewelry shop, which made me question why I had come to it for enchanting crystals so long ago, but I can’t say I was the best at searching for such things in the first place.
The shopkeeper came out from the back room and immediately smiled at me. “May I help you, sir?”
I gave a nod. “A couple years ago I was here and bought three cyan crystals for enchanting. I was wondering if you had any more of those.”
The shopkeeper tapped his chin. “Cyan crystals you say? What shape were they?”
“Diamond shaped, and about half the size of a hoof.”
“Hmm, unfortunately I can’t say I remember selling you anything like those. But perhaps you could be thinking of the Alicorn Amulet?”
I tilted my head. “Alicorn Amulet?”
The shopkeeper smiled and walked over to a shelf and pulled down a glass container. Inside was a small amulet depicting a black Alicorn with a bright red gem in the center, which looked a lot like the gems in my sword’s cross-guard.
“The Alicorn Amulet is one of the most mysterious and powerful of all the known magical charms,” he said. “Quite powerful, and dangerous if you aren’t careful.”
I raised an eyebrow. “Dangerous? Not illegally so, is it?”
“Oh, no! No, no, not at all illegal. Besides, it’s not really for sale.”
“I hope so. I don’t think that’s what I’m looking for, but it does resemble the kind of crystals I bought. I’m curious, can you tell me where you got it?”
The shopkeeper put the amulet back on the shelf. “I’m afraid not. It is an ancient artifact which my grandfather happened by during one of his travels, and since been passed down to me. Strangely he never explained where he got it.”
“I see. Well, thank you for your time.”
I put up my magic shield before going out into the rain then made for the castle. It was really starting to pour now, and to my irritation I was splashing through a puddle with every other step. I caught a glimpse of somepony in a cloak running past me, but I gave it no thought. A few minutes of trudging through puddles later I was back in the castle study.
“Did you learn anything?” Celestia asked as I came in, still casting spells on my sword.
“No,” I sighed. “Nothing that would help. What about you?”
“I have only confirmed what kind of crystals they are—the same kind as the Crystal Heart, and thousands of years old. They do not seem to act in the same way as the Crystal Heart though.”
“How so?”
“Well, obviously they do not have the same radiating power of love as the Heart, and they are not as powerful as it either. At least they do not seem to be. I am curious, has anything strange ever happened to the crystals after enchanting them?”
I shrugged. “I don’t think so. Wait, when I was first in the Crystal Empire with Shining Armor and Cadance, Sombra blocked the enchantment using some sort of black crystals that infected my crystals. I couldn’t use any magic on the sword. When the Heart was restored, the black crystals disappeared.”
Celestia turned back to a book on her desk and began searching through the pages. “I see. I think I may know a way to figure out the source of your crystal’s strong enchantment, but I will have to think about it.” She levitated the sword back to me. “Was there something else you needed? I forgot that you hadn’t been summoned.”
I shaped the sword around my torso. “Yeah, I came because Cadance said you might be able to help me with… well, she and Shining Armor told me my cutie mark is disappearing.” I looked back at my flank. “They said I used to have six stars, but I only remember having three ever since I got my cutie mark.”
Celestia turned back to me with a worried look. “Oh no. What has Cadance told you?”
I grimaced. “Just that it’s a self-inflicted disorder that unbalances the magic within you. She said I’m losing focus of myself, but… I don’t feel like I am. What should I do?”
“That is a question I can’t answer for you, I’m afraid.” Celestia sighed. “I have seen many cases of this, and each had a different answer. Sometimes there is no answer. It saddens me when a pony loses their cutie mark and the magic attached to it, and it saddens me even more so to see it happening to you. All I can give is counsel on things you might do to recover, but I very well may end up guiding you away from the answer.”
“I don’t care.” What else did I have to lose? My horn? “Whatever counsel you have, I’ll take it. I don’t know what else I can do.”
Celestia nodded solemnly. “Very well. From the cases I have seen, it is common that the loss starts from a sudden event that might leave somepony upset or lost and confused. They become disconnected from their self-image. Has any recent event made you feel that way?”
I thought for a moment. “Well… no, I haven’t felt disconnected from my self-image. I’d say my self-image is stronger than ever.”
“Nothing has made you upset or confused recently?”
“I… don’t know. There were some things that happened in Manehattan with my dad I guess, but honestly I don’t see how that would be the cause. I just want to put that behind me.”
Celestia eyed me curiously for a moment. “How many friends do you have, Swordulan?”
I blinked. “Friends? Uh, I guess Shining Armor and—”
“Besides those two.”
“Oh.” Um, did I have friends besides those two? There was… no, he doesn’t really count. Maybe—no, she doesn’t count either. I had… no friends. It felt awkward having to tell Celestia as much.
She raised an eyebrow. “Not even Pinkie Pie? I had heard you moved to Ponyville.”
I shrugged. “I suppose Pinkie thinks of me as a friend, but she does that to everypony. I normally just stick to my job. I don’t have time for anything else.”
Celestia narrowed her eyes. “That is no excuse, Lieutenant. I believe you have been working too much. Take some time to make friends. I am not always in need of your service.”
I took a step back. “Um, alright. I… I’ll try. Anyway, it’s getting late, so I should probably head home.” I bowed and quickly moved to the door. “Thank you, Princess.”
I left and made for the train station, shaping my sword overhead like an umbrella. Celestia’s sudden talk of making friends was… not what I expected. I mean, who really needed friends? I had my job, I was good at it. I didn’t need to make friends. No way was that the solution to my problem, it didn’t make sense.
However, I was curious about what she had in mind to figure out the source of my enchantment’s strange powers. What did she have to think about? Was it some kind of dangerous spell she’d need to use?
I guess I’d just have to wait and find out.