Six mares limped into the north end of Ponyville, legs weak and weary. As they entered, a current of cacophonous noise rolled their way, full of angry, barking, neighing voices.
They could—perhaps—have made out the words of the angry ponies sooner, but they were too busy being distracted by the deep grooves and troughs suddenly filling the dirt streets of Ponyville. Between each building front and down each alleyway, deep lines had been dug in the soil—some even criss-crossing and slicing through one another.
Then, as the six proceeded down Main Street, they froze in place—gawking at a stallion who was busy with drawing a wagon full of pumpkins across the road.
A wagon... completely bereft of wheels.
"Grnnnghhhh!" The stallion gnashed his teeth, sweating bullets as he pushed and shoved and kicked at the soil with locked limbs. The cart behind him barely budged, its lower wooden wells shoving thick swaths through the surface of the dirt road. Behind him, a pair of troughs telegraphed the anguishing path he had taken from the produce market to where he was now. "Mgrnnngh... grnkkklttt!"
The mares blinked, then exchanged nervous glances.
"Uhhhh..." Applejack cleared her throat, then closed the distance between them. "Caramel? Cous'?" She tilted her head back, brow furrowed. "What in the hay do ya think yer doin'?" She pointed at the base of the wagon. "Have ya stopped to notice that yer wagon's missin' somethin'—"
Caramel spun towards her with an iron glare. Applejack and the other five jumped back, blinking. The stallion's brow furrowed while his angry eyes narrowed. Then, with slow and deliberate grace, he raised the straw of a cup of hay smoothie to his lips, slurped, then resumed tugging, pulling, yanking at the grinding wagon. "Grnnnn-hrnnnngh!"
"... ... ..." Applejack plucked her hat off and rubbed her scalp.
Rainbow Dash flew in until she hovered above the mare. "So... uh... just how removed of a cousin is Caramel from you, again?"
"Y'know... at the moment, I plum forget." Applejack gulped, plopping her hat back on. "Reckon I ain't of a mind to find out anytime soon."
"Hey guys! Look!" Pinkie beamed, perching on a fire hydrant as she pointed at three different groups of ponies pulling wooden slabs across the nearest intersection. "They're having a race! Heehee! Isn't that cool?!" She stood up on her hind quarters, shouting through a pair of hooves bracing her muzzle. "Go for glory, you guys!!!" Seconds passed as the echo of her shouting voice dissipated. The ponies continued dragging their wagons at ineffectually slow rates. "That's the spirit!" Pinkie grinned.
"Pinkie Pie..." Rainbow droned.
"Swing by Sugarcube Corner for a pit stop—"
"Pinkie!" Rainbow growled. "It's not a race! There is no finishing line!"
Pinkie tipped her nose up, speaking in a haughty tone all of the sudden: "You know, Rainbow Dash, you never see me drenching you with my nihilistic existential philosophy. So why should you?"
"Huh???"
"Uhm..." Fluttershy trembled behind Rarity. "Can we please f-find out what everypony is shouting over?" She squeaked, clenching her eyes shut and hiding behind her mane. "And m-make them st-stop? Mmmm!"
"Where in Celestia's name is that bedlam even coming from?" Rarity remarked. "Sounds like at least half the town is airing their dirty laundry!" She shuddered, fanning herself. "And oh how I hate dirty laundry!"
"Sounds like it's coming from Town Hall," Twilight said. Flexing her wings, the mare trotted briskly across the street. The other mane six followed her, galloping, faster and faster—
"Waaaaaait!" Pinkie hollered, standing right in front of them with her hooves out. The other five skidded to a stop as Pinkie blocked them from crossing. "Stand right here, ponies!" She looked over her shoulder. "They're coming around the bend!"
The other five stared at a pair of ponies dragging... draggggggging their wagons down the road—roughly twenty feet away with the pace of sleepy snails. Pinkie stood with her forelimbs stretched, smiling, waiting.
Cricket song...
"Oh!" Fluttershy gasped, then bent down to pick up a cricket standing on a sidewalk. "Jeremy! This is no time for a musical performance!" She hurriedly flew over to a cluster of bushes and deposited the insect safely among the leaves. "Hide out here until all of this strangeness blows over!"
"Guhhhh..." Rainbow face-hoofed long and hard.
"Careful!" Pinkie breathed out the side of her muzzle. "Making left turns all the time gives them a subconscious blind spot!"
"Pinkie, as much as we appreciate your attention to safety..." Rarity reared her legs and galloped straight out into the street. "Kindly move your derrierres, ladies!"
"Hey!" Pinkie stomped her hoof, frowning as the five rushed ahead of the grinding wagon-pullers. "Did you ever pay attention to those afterschool specials when you were a foal? 'Friends don't let friends do dolerite!'" She stood alone for a moment, then giggled. "Heehee! That was always Maud's favorite..."