“Whoa!”
A rainbow-streaked blur crashed into the earth pony and unicorn mares below, sending up a plume of dirt from the dry path through Sweet Apple Acres. The apples the two had spent so long collecting (to be eaten or thrown out by the purple dragon on the unicorn’s back) exploded out of their baskets, destroying the productivity of the last three hours in an instant.
When the dust had settled (and all the apples spilled), the two mares could see just who had so rudely interrupted their conversation.
“Are we talking about The Grand Galloping Gala?” The newcomer asked, a hoof each resting on her two floored friends who seemed less than impressed by her sudden intrusion.
“Rainbow Dash…” Applejack began, pulling herself from under the pegasus. “You told me you were too busy to help me harvest apples. What were you busy doin’? Spyin’?”
“No,” the accused pegasus turned around sharply, flicking her mane dismissively. All eyes suddenly moved to the top of the tree where she fell from, a pillow and blanket precariously balanced on a branch.
“I was busy… napping”
In an instant the azure mare was somehow hovering upside down in front of the lavender unicorn.
“And I just happened to hear that you have… an... extra… ticket?”
“Yeah, but-“
“YES!”
Rainbow Dash screamed and immediately began somersaulting in the air.
“This is so awesome! The Wonderbolts perform at The Grand Galloping Gala every year!”
She looked up to the sky as she imagined her deepest desires coming true.
“I can see it now…”
---
“All rise for the oath of our order.”
Seven cloaked ponies rose from their seats around a round wooden table. The table was draped in navy blue cloth with a sun in the centre. From it seven lightning bolts radiated out, each pointing towards one of the seven ponies gathered around it.
The ponies all raised a hoof to the centre. Each hoof bore a blue hoofband with a small yellow gem the shape of a lightning bolt set in it.
“In brightest day, in blackest night,
We gather to watch our heroes in flight.
We who bask in thunder’s light,
Official Wonderbolts Fan club unite!”
All but one of the ponies took their seats. The standing pony lowered her hood to reveal a white pegasus mare with a sky blue mane.
“Forgive the sudden nature of this meeting, but sister Dash claims to have some urgent news.”
The speaker motioned towards the pony opposite to her who stood and drew back her own hood.
“Sisters,” Rainbow Dash began, “I have secured myself a ticket to the Grand Galloping Gala!”
There were a few incredulous gasps from the hooded ponies.
“That’s amazing!”
“I can’t believe it…”
“Sister Bolt should be the one to go.”
“The tickets are enchanted, forgeries won’t work.”
“This is no forgery Cloudkicker, I’ve been formally invited as a friend of the Princesses’ student.” Dash began to reply. “And as such only I can go. Lightning Bolt, this is the chance we’ve been waiting for! The chance for somepony in the Ponyville division to get a personal interview with our heroes!”
The unhooded white mare brought a hoof to her chin as she considered this news.
“This is indeed an opportunity of a lifetime, but just being invited to the Gala won’t guarantee you would be able to meet them.”
“I know,” Dash replied, looking over the other hooded ponies. “That’s why I need the help of our fellow members. Tracy Flash,”
A pony to her right lowered their hood to reveal a yellow pegasus mare with a centre-parted white-striped teal mane.
“I need you to get me a VIP press pass, fake it if you have to. That’ll get me into the VIP section. I’ll also need some cameras and recording stuff to do the interview.”
The yellow mare nodded, somewhat uneasily.
“They’ll probably be talking to all the ponies there so I’ll need the means to create a distraction. I can probably get those materials myself, but I may need some extra bits. I’m requesting to access the club’s funds.”
One of the cloaked ponies rose from her seat. “Sister Dash, that money was pooled together by all our members-“
“For situations just like this!” Dash interrupted. “I’ll mainly be buying prank items so it shouldn’t cost too much.”
Lightning Bolt held a hoof up to prevent the other pony from arguing further. “Sister Dash is right and so I will allow this. However, I would advise Sister Dash to be frugal with using the club's hard-earned funds."
Dash nodded before turning to her left and facing another hooded pony.
"This is our chance to put the club's grandest plans in motion. Rainbow Day, I'm enacting Operation Filly Flasher."
Another round of shocked gasps arose from the gathered cabal, although this time with an air of excitement. The hooded Rainbow Day spoke up.
"So that means you'll be needing some sparkling wine, a girdle, blankets, a trampoline, lamp oil, rope, smoke bombs-"
"Ball gags, fluffy pink hoof-cuffs, cello cases, rohypnol and chloroform." Dash finished listing for her. "We gotta make this count. Raindrops, I need you to come with me and have the caravan waiting just outside the palace to receive the 'packages'." The hooded yellow pegasus nodded in affirmation.
"Are you sure you're up to the task Sister Dash?" Lightning Bolt asked. Rainbow Dash gave her a look of steeled determination.
"120% sure. It will be a night to remember. A glorious new page in the Ponyville Chapter of the Bolter's legion, and I will be the quill that writes the passage." Rainbow Dash spoke with the grandeur of a rousing speech which had the effect of moving the rest of the council members to light applause.
Lightning Bolt motioned to the rest of the ponies. "Let us take a vote of approval. All in favor of approving Sister Dash's actions?"
A few hooves shot into the air immediately, others rose slowly with uncertainty. Still, after a few seconds every voting had their hoof up.
"And those against?"
The hooves lowered. A few seconds made it clear that, despite a few reservations, none opposed the notion.
"Then it is decided. The Ponyville legion of Bolters approve and support Sister Dash in her plan. Godspeed sister, do your chapter proud."
Rainbow Dash snapped to a quick salute before sitting back down into her seat.
"Now are there any other matters that require our attention?"
A gray hoof slowly raised itself.
“No Derpy, we are not going out for muffins.”
The gray hoof lowered as slowly as it was first raised.
“Anypony? No? Very well then. The 482nd Ponyville Bolter’s gathering is officially adjourned.”
“Um… you know… I’m pretty sure that, um, an emergency meeting like this doesn’t really, sort of, count-“
“Shush Fluttershy. The Nightmare take me if I let the stupid Manehattan chapter look busier than us. Stupid club-master. ‘The chapters in more established communities deserve more funding’, my flank! I’ll show them! Go ahead, give those stuck up pricks the bits we deserve, see if I give a f-“
---
“-uck.”
“Huh!?”
“Ah’ said,” Applejack began. “Could’ya hurry it up some Rainbow? If’n ya don’t mind I still got a lotta apple trees left ‘ta buck.”
“Oh, right.” The azure pegasus smiled sheepishly before turning back to the lavender unicorn.
“Don't you see, Twilight?” The excited pegasus lifted herself up in the air to animate what she was saying. “This could be my one chance to show 'em my stuff. You gotta take me!”
She brought her face mere inches from that of the Canterlot unicorn. Before either pony could react, Rainbow Dash suddenly found herself roughly pulled by her tail. She landed on her hooves and dug them into the ground to resist the sudden movement.
“Hold on just one pony pickin' minute here!” Applejack grunted through the multicoloured tail in her mouth. Dash quickly curled it away as the farmpony spat it on the ground with more spit than necessary. “I asked fer that ticket first!” She leaned into an accusing glare at Rainbow as she said this.
Rainbow Dash remembered this moment. She knew where this would lead to, they all end up arguing over the ticket and then realizing how bad they were making Twilight feel and they’d all get a free ticket anyway. She couldn’t help but feel that the Princess was at fault for the situation that ensured, having already met all of Twilight’s friends before. Probably engineered the whole thing to teach the egghead another friendship lesson. If it were her writing the friendship report, she knew what she’d write.
“Yo Principle Celest
Why would you only send me two tickets? You know I have FIVE friends and now they’re going ape-shit over them!
Did you forget or something? You met them all last week and I write to you about them EVERY DAY. Tirac's asscrack, our country is being run by a senile horned bat.
C'mon pops, get your shit together before you forget to raise the sun again.
Your unfaithful delinquent
Rainbow Dash”
In her mind, Rainbow Dash thought that was the level of informality Twilight operated with when alone with the Princess. At least, that’s the level of informality she was on with the Principle of the last flight school she attended.
However, she knew that right now Applejack was angry at her and had every right to be. Applejack was the one who staked the first claim to the ticket and Twilight had more or less agreed to it, and then she swooped in and tried to take the opportunity like a selfish vulture. It was only much later, after the Gala itself that she began reflecting on how poor a friend she had been in the past. The guilt of being the Element of Loyalty, yet also quite the selfish jerk at times hit her like a brick one lonely night. That night she reflected on ways she could’ve been a better friend in times past. In this moment, not only was she trying to steal something that her friend had already laid claim to (and ignored the fact that the decision belonged to neither of them), but she had also shirked her duty to help Applejack in order to lounge about in the very trees she was suppose to be bucking. On that night she resolved that she should’ve apologized to Applejack, to defer the decision to Twilight before starting an argument, or even just agree to help Applejack so that she could’ve been part of the conversation all along. That night she resolved that if she could, she would go back to this moment and fix her mistakes.
So why, in this moment she had dreamed of changing for the better, was she feeling so full of hate?
“You don’t deserve that ticket!” she yelled back, the anger in her voice twisting it until it sounded totally alien, yet horribly familiar. She pushed into her own glare so fierce it caused the receiving fampony to stumble onto her haunches in surprise. Applejack and Twilight both gaped at Rainbow’s outburst in shock. Applejack was the first to respond, meeting fire with fire.
“What the hay is wrong with you Rainbow!? Ah’ never knew you were such a selfish jerk!”
Selfish!? I’m not selfish! I’m the god-damned MILKPONY of generosity!
“Buck you Applejack! You’re so stubborn you can’t even see I’m doing you a favour!”
“What!?” Applejack almost screamed. Her face was flush red with anger, steam bellowed from her flared nostrils. She looked just about ready to rip off a pony’s head and eat their heart. Maybe I’m being too hard on her. it’s not her fault she doesn’t understand, Rainbow thought to herself. Other ponies can’t figure me out, they can’t process me, I don’t expect them to. You can’t process me with the normal brain.
Dash suddenly turned and pointed and accusing hoof at the stunned librarian.
“YOU!” she yelled. “This is your fault!” This jolted Twilight out of her shock, an indignant look on her face. Dash cut in before the lavender pony could defend herself.
“How could you lead Applejack on like that!? Even I know the Grand Galloping Gala is fully catered by the best chefs in the royal castle! It’s renown for being the one time where anypony can eat like the Princesses do. There’s no way Applejack would be able to sell anything there! And even if the food there wasn’t royal quality and free, she wouldn’t be able to open shop anyway! You of all ponies should know that all tradesponies, retail or market vendors require an official permit to sell anything, anywhere in Canterlot, and you can’t just get a permit on the day, you have to put a request in and wait months in hopes it gets through. I know because I once tried to sell some Wonderbolts merch for the Bolters Club there. Don’t you DARE say you didn’t know all that, I saw those open regional law books on your study table!”
By the end of the rant Twilight was on the verge of terrified tears, curled into a ball and wincing at everything the enraged pegasus had said. Dash smiled at the sight of the quivering wreck of a pony before her.
It’s about time she learned. She’s my friend, she’s part of my family. And if you’re a part of my family, I will love you violently.
A tense moment passed before she leaned back and gave the terrified filly an arrogantly patronising smile.
“Well, I can see that you feel bad about it. In my infinite wisdom and kindness, I forgive you. But you should probably apologize to Applejack.”
Hesitantly, Twilight got to her feet and walked over to where Applejack was.
“Applejack I’m sorry-“
Applejack held up a hoof to silence her. “No need ‘ta apologize sugarcube, ah’ know ya didn’t mean any harm by it.” The farmpony motioned to where the azure pegasus was standing.
“Though I wish Rainbow Dash wasn’t such a snake-eyed jerk about it.”
The words tore through Dash’s confidant façade like a bullet to the heart. What had she done? This outcome was even worse than what happened originally. She lowered her head in shame as she felt the unnatural feelings bleed out of her.
“AJ, Twi, I’m really sorry about that, it was totally uncalled for. I don’t know what came over me. If it’s any help, I won’t ask for the ticket anymore. It’s Twilight’s ticket and it’s up to her to decide.”
She nervously pawed at the ground while waiting for a response from her friends. Was it too late? Had she already ruined things beyond fixing?
Applejack was the first to speak.
“Well, that’s mighty respectable for you to pony-up like that and apologise for your mistakes. Why, in fact ah’ don’t think you’ve ever done that before.”
Don’t get used to it, she fought against herself to not think out loud. What was wrong with her today?
“And you’re right,” Applejack continued, “It’s up ‘ta Twi to decide, and with what ‘ya told me it sounds like I’d just be running a huge loss tryin’ ‘ta sell mah’ wares at the Gala. Not to mention, ‘ah wouldn’t be enjoyin’ it for the occasion.”
Stupid mule, you had no right to doubt me. That was it, she couldn’t continue like this. Rainbow Dash shook her head violently, as if trying to detach whatever venomous creature had latched onto her thoughts. She felt her whole world shake around her, almost as if she was falling into the white void again. Something seemed to tear itself from her mind, eliciting a small gasp of pain from the pegasus. When she finally stopped and looked up she saw Twilight looking at her with a smile.
“Well, if you’re so sure about this then I guess I’ll take you to the Gala, Dash.”
She made to go for another round of aerial somersaulting, but the thought of recent events made her decide to celebrate in a more controlled manner.
“Thanks a bunch Twi, you don’t know how much this means to me!”
Twilight smiled before tucking her khaki undershirt into her white rayon bellbottoms. That’s odd, Dash thought, I don’t remember any of us wearing clothes a second ago…
“You’re going to need plenty of legal advice before this thing is over,” the librarian said. “And my first advice is that you should rent a very fast car with no top and get the hell out of Ponyville for at least forty-eight hours.”
She shook her head sadly. “This blows my weekend of studying, because naturally I’ll have to go with you.”
“Why not?” The rainbow-maned pegasus offered. “If a thing like this is worth doing at all, it’s worth doing it right. Well need some decent equipment and plenty of cash on the line- if only for snacks and a super-high quality video camera, for the sake of a permanent record.”
Twilight took a moment to digest what her pegasus friend said. “Well,” she began, “as your attorney I advise you to buy a flightsuit. How else can you cover a thing like this righteously?”
“No way,” Dash replied. “Where can we get a hold of a Luna Black Shadowbolt?”
“What’s that?”
“A fantastic suit. The new model is something like twenty thousand cubic inches of zero porosity double ripstop fabric tied up with polyfill corespun thread with durable oxford nylon for reinforcing, neoprene collars and a total weight of exactly one point four two kilos."
“That sounds about right for this gig.” The attorney-librarian replied.
“It is” Dash assured her. “The bucker’s not much for turning, but it’s pure hell on a slipstream. It’ll outfly the Wonderbolt standard suit until we reach mach 1.”
“Mach 1? Can you handle that much drag?”
“Absolutely. I’ll call Cloudsdale for some bits.”
They turned and began walking down the road that lead out of Sweet Apple Acres to prepare for their trip.
“By the way,” Twilight turned to ask, “How’d you do that thing with your eyes? Is it kinda like Fluttershy’s ‘stare’ thing?”
“Eh, something like that... I guess...?” Dash replied. Truthfully she had no idea what Twilight was talking about, but the way things seemed to be going there didn’t seem to be much point in questioning anything, and just treating it all like a day with Pinkie Pie.
Especially not with that annoying noise that was slowly working its way into her head again.