//------------------------------// // Chapter 18: Across 110 Streets (Manehattan Mysteries Arc Part 2) // Story: Changeling See, Changeling D'OH! (Comment-Driven Story) // by Kersey475 //------------------------------// BrownDog77 comment As you see the flashing stars above your head in the night sky, you wrack your brain trying to figure out what the stars mean- "There he is!" But you ignore that for now since the cops are on your tail. As you run down the street you think, Okay, from what I remember of Grand Theft Carraige, all I need to do is stay out of sight of the cops and drive a wagon/carriage into a chopshop and get a new paintjob. But how do I lose the fuzz in the first place? Maybe if I changed clothes... Speaking (or thinking in this case) of clothes, you see that stuck up purple-maned Bitch Mare that was mean to the cute blue-maned mare from a few days ago. She seems to be in the middle of some speech while said cute mare is hauling multiple rolls of fabrics. "Move Bitch, Get Out The Way!" you yell as you ram through the purple-pink bitch, knocking her over your fleeing form and in the path of the cops who start tripping over her. "If you don't want to physically hurt your boss, a laxative in her coffee will do just fine!" you yell behind you at the shocked cute mare as you continue running. *slam*"D'OH!" only to slam into a lamppost because you weren't looking where you were going. Shaking off the impact, you look back and see that the cops are getting back up and continuing the pursuit. You look back at the street only to see heavy rushing traffic and think you're as good as caught when, *ding* Getting an idea from Buster 'The Great Stone Face' Kimblewick, you invoke "Aquila Talon" and activate the hookblade to grab onto a passing Taxi buggy, getting dragged at high speeds for 16 blocks before the cabby notices. "Hey pal, this ain't no charity!" he cries out as he hits the breaks, sending you flying at such speeds that you splash into a pond in Middle Park. "*pant*I really *sputter* really have to work on my cardio." you mutter as you scramble out of the water. Looking back at the street, you see the police ponies talking with the cabby who's pointing in your direction. "Oh Come on!" you exclaim as you pull your soaked form into the darkness of the trees. You think you've lost them when you hear something that makes your heart stop; "He's in the park! Call in the rangers!" "S-Sir! Are you sure?! It's night!" you hear Officer Trotter ask fearfully. "We've got a fugitive with dark magic in that park, we have no choice!" Chief Stablemaker orders. "BUCK!" you scream as you start running for your life like the demons of Tartarus themselves are chasing you and that analogy isn't too far off. Manehattan's Middle Park Rangers are known for being helpful and friendly during the day, but at night they become even more gung-ho and turn into ruthless merciless enforcers. If you're a proper law-abiding pony with valid ID out, you'll be fine, but if you're anything else... Well there's a reason only the desperate and the stupid dare travel through Middle Park at night (1). Soon you hear thunderous trotting and look behind you to see four large ponies with flowing black capes and shining black and white helmets charging towards you like the Four Elephants of the Apocalypse. "AHHHHHHH! GET AWAY FROM ME YOU GUNG-HO PSYCHOS! DO I LOOK LIKE A NON-PONY TO YOU!" you scream in terror as you run through the woods even more desperately, but no matter how fast you run through the woods, you can hear the thunderous charging getting closer and closer and- "I'll shove that bat up your flank and turn you into a popsicle." "What was th- *twack* D'OH!" You promptly run right into the swing of a baseball bat that knocks you to the ground. Fortunately your armored Bowler took most of the impact so you're able to look up and see that you've ran right into the middle of a gang brawl between two sets of strangely-garbed street gangsters; One group dressed in Red Vests and the other Dressed as Baseball Players with painted faces and bats. "Hey, Hey! Break it up over there or we'll break you!" the Rangers declare as they ignore you and proceed to smash straight into the brawl, effortlessly breaking bats and throwing brawlers around like rag dolls. Sighing at the distraction, you sneak through the melee and make it back into the city, smirking at having lost the cops when- "Chief! I found him!" "D'oh!" you exclaim as you hightail it down the street. Erised the ink-moth Your chase takes you through the streets, and you're actually managing to keep far enough ahead of the cops that they actually have to pause at every street corner to reacquire a visual on you. Noticing this pattern, you decide to use it to your advantage and run towards the nearest Manehattan newspaper stand after turning a corner. As the group of at least a dozen cops rounds the corner and surrounds the area, looking for you, all they find is a stallion leaning on a trashcan out front with a newspaper spread open in front of his face. "Hey buddy, did you see a pony in a dapper suit and derby run by here?" one of the officers asks the stallion. "Nope, can't say I did. Was too busy reading this article about a diamond thief." the stallion replies is a raspy voice, not moving the paper even to make eye contact, but a bowler hat is visible over the top of the paper. A bowler hat with a familiar Ace of Spades card in the hatband... The police pony squints his eyes, realizing something's odd about this pony with the newspaper. He slowly grabs the edges of the newspaper before suddenly ripping it out of the pony's hooves declaring, "Hah! I got- you?" he stutters, realizing that not only is the pony not wearing a fancy suit, but isn't even a pony at all. He's a zebra in a vest who's quite angry that his reading material was just ruined. "Can't a zigga even just read a newspaper in front of HIS OWN STAND without getting harassed by the po-lice?! All'a yall's! Eitha buy a copy or get outta here." he yells at the assembled squad of police ponies, who in turn quickly decide to take their search elsewhere. "Yeah, buck the po-lice." "You said it man." you say as you pop out of the trashcan he was leaning on, "Hey, thanks for letting me hide in here." "I do not know who are you. But at least you are not a colt in blue." he says as he hooves you your Hat back. With that you put your hat back on and confidently walk down the street, "Watch out for that-" *WHAM* "Yaaaaaaa-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoooeeeyyyy!" *SHATTER* "Cab..." Only to get hit by the taxi from before cause you weren't looking and get sent flying straight through the window of a late-night coffee and donut shop... that unsurprisingly has about a platoon and a half of police ponies hanging out inside. Each of them staring wide-eyed at you as you recover, some of them with expressions of shock frozen mid-bite. "And... into the fire." you comment and are about to panic, thinking you just stuck your head in a hornets' nest, but then you notice something; they're not staring solely at you, but also at what's behind you, and a few of them are even backing up in fear. With an audible gulp, you turn around to see what they're so afraid of and see an earth pony mare with a black coat and a blonde no-nonsense crew cut mane sitting alone at a table with a upturned glass of chocolate milk spilled across her otherwise pristine uniform. "He spilled Dread Judge's drink..." whimpers one of the cops behind you. "Okay," you think, remembering drink class, "Chocolate milk. Either she's a bundle of cute, or she's an absolute badflank." Without moving her mouth or any other body part, she rigidly turns her head towards you and glares straight into your soul causing you to gulp nervously. As she gets up out of her seat, every cop in the donut shop runs for the exit. Each step she takes is punctuated with an electric guitar chord from nowhere. You find yourself unable to move your hooves, and once she's close enough that you can feel her breath on your face, she puts on an armored helmet with a black visor bearing a red X and a golden shield on her head... and the counter explodes behind her! She gives you a quick glancing over, and then says in a rock hard tone that gives you traumatic flashbacks of your drill instructor, "You spilled my coco moo." she takes a stiff inhale, "Do you know what I do to punks that spill my coco moo?" Despite the fact that she said 'coco moo' twice in a row, you find yourself quivering in terror before this mare. "U-uh, n-n-no... w-what do you do to them?" She clamps an iron hoof on your shoulder which forcibly stops your shaking. "I take them downtown." she says simply, and for a moment you feel slightly reassured- "DREAD STYLE!" Before she throws you through the flaming remains of the counter and into the wall behind it. The plaster on the wall breaks off around the crater formed on impact, and everything hurts. Bright red blood is dripping down into the corners of your vision... you can feel yourself dying and- "My jelly donuts!" screams a nearby police mare. You reach lick some of the red substance off your scarf. "Mmm, strawberry." you comment. "Breaking and entering - ten months." Dread's voice pulls you back to the action as she stomps towards you. "Destruction of public property - six months." The dense crowd of other cops parts in her wake. "Assaulting an officer - four years!" "Oh buck my life..." "Spilling my coco moo - five minutes..." "Kinda ruining the pattern ther-" you snark before she growls. "Locked in a room with me." Looking around for anything to help you out of this mess you spot a steaming pot of coffee sitting on a nearby table and grab it yelling, "Have a refill on me!" as yo throw it onto her like how Dorthy finished the Wicked Sorceress in The Magus of Carat, but to your shock, Dread is not only still standing, but hasn't even flinched as the steaming hot coffee drips off her helmet! "I don't drink decaf," she hisses and starts walking toward you, "My drink of choice is a tall glass of coco moo with a side of justi-*slip* AHHHHH!" Apparently she didn't think about her hooves being slippery from the coffee (and your Force Pull jerking her legs out from under her) as she crashes head and back-first to the tile floor, her helmet shattering some of the tile. While the other, lesser, cops can only stare at you in shock, you take this chance to bolt for the door. You limp as fast as you can into a side ally and invoke your changeling healing factor. Good thing they have those 'hors d'oeuvre' before the show. you think thankfully, but now that you're not in immediate danger, you realize who it was that you just dealt with! CHANGELING TRAINING "Now rookies, this...!" your instructor points to a scary rough scetch of what looks like a heavily armored pony with a black and red helmet, "is an Equestrian Guard elite shock trooper unit; A Protector-Authorized Insurgency Neutralizer or P.A.I.N. They're extremely fast, incredibly strong, have near limitless stamina, and are ruthless to a ludicrous degree. Most have been trained and modified since birth to seek out and destroy sources of crime and civil disobedience. Unconfirmed reports also suggests that they can see though our disguise spells. There is only one rule of engagement when dealing with these monsters: RUN. Attempting to fight one of these with anything less than a full Company will only end with you as a smear on the pavement. Then a hoof shoots up in the back of the class. "So it's like a street judge from "2000 ANM" (After Nightmare Moon)? That's so cool, I want to be one of those when I grow up!" "Sit down Private 9001 and stop playing those stupid arcade games. Anyway, fortunately due to their power and the amount of resources it takes to make, train, and maintain a PAIN (they have HUGE appetites) most of the major cities in Equestria usually only have 1 PAIN soldier each and they are only called out on the mayor's orders and even then it's only in emergencies. So one of the best preventative measures is to maintain stealth and avoid causing incidents that would bring down the wrath of one of these monsters on your buggy head. Now I must goez. Mah planet needz me!" With that the instructor promptly sprouted a red cape and blue tights and is about to take off when he then snaps a random pony's neck for no reason then falls to his knees yelling "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" BACK TO NOW "...Okay I'm PRETTY sure the last part didn't happen but still." you comment, shaking off the jumbled memory, "Judging by the fact that this one was at a donut shop drinking 'coco moo' with her helmet off, that means I had the rotten luck of pissing off a mare that makes the Middle Park Rangers look like Cub Scouts on her day off... Great." you mutter as the healing spell finishes mending your body. "But each race gives a PAIN unit special benefits so let's see... Unicorn PAINs have access to more restricted/devastating combat spells, Pegasi PAINs can wield more devastating weather like blizzards or firestorms, and Earth Pony PAINs-" "Evading capture - fifteen months." you hear in a rough voice behind you. "Have crazy good tracking skills." you quickly spout off before attempting a run for it. "No-pony escapes JUSTICE!" Dread yells as she grabs your scarf in her teeth, dragging you out of the ally, and spinning you around before throwing you into a lamppost. "Aquilla Talon!" you yell raspily, transforming your bracelet. You look around for something to use it with to make it more effective. Fire hydrant? No. Park bench? No. Stuffy-looking pony with a poodle? Tempting... but no. A mime? Possibly- "Unlicensed possession of a weapo-" "Oh will you shut the buck up?!" you yell in annoyance. "You can't silence the truth and you can't silence me." Dread Judge declares. "You're like a cheesy old-school action movie!" you yell back as you run up to a frozen yogurt stand, "Here, have some culture!" you say as you chuck a big bowl of cold artificial-free fruit-flavored goodness at her. Undaunted, she merely steps aside and lets it splatter on the ground before it suddenly explodes in a flash of thunder and lightning with a thick cloud of smoke covering the area, allowing you even more time to break line of sight. -2 Thundercloud Orbs remaining You're about to make your grappling escape via ejecting the Aquilla Talon's hookblade, when suddenly you're hit from behind by what feels like a train. "Hiding a thundercloud orb in a cup of yogurt! A pretty nifty trick for breaching and clearing rooms! No idea how you got your filthy hooves on them, but I'm gonna get answers from you one way or the other!" Dread yells, temporarily deafened by your trick. She pulls out a baton with one hoof as she clenches your throat with her other, "You've got a lot of crimes on your head, criminal scum, and that means a lot of JUSTICE for me to dish out! You have the right to remain silent while I beat you senseless! *Bonk!* Anything you say will be completely disregarded while I punch your teeth down your throat! *Bap!* You have the right to a flank-spanking, if you cannot find a pony to spank you, I'LL DO IT PERSONALLY!*Pow!*" Even with your armored bowler hat taking most of the beating for you, you have to admit this still hurts! And you know for a fact that all standard-issue police batons in Equestria are made of cork-wood, so that they don't cause any severe harm when used, but the fact that she's actually causing the baton to start breaking with her blows and the fact that she's off-duty means she grabbed a baton off of another officer. "Police brutality! *Bonk!* I have rights! *Bonk!* Help help, I'm being oppressed by the law! *Bonk!* Changeling Lives Matter! *BASH!*" you shout as you flail your hooves against her, but her helmet protects her head from your hookblade. She doesn't seem to hear you though (combo of her deafness and the sound of the blows of her baton smashing against your armored Bowler canceling out whatever you're saying), and just keeps hitting you. However, through the beating you manage to catch a glance of something over her shoulder, and it's headed towards you both! "Look out, runaway flower cart!" some random pony screams as it careens down a hill right at you. Sure enough you manage to look over Dread's shoulder and see an incoming cart, but she's too busy using your head as a gong to notice it, and at the speed it's heading toward you, you're sure it'll squish you both! You shut your eyes and wait for the inevitable, but as luck would have it, it hits the curb and flips over before it hits either of you, landing harmlessly to the side. Dread glances over, shrugs, and rears the baton back for another blow when a single yellow flower slowly floats down and daintily lands on top of her head. "GAHH! No!" she screams and falls to the ground, writhing in agony and clutching her head. "My one weakness... so girly! Get it off... GETITOFF!" "Seriously, flowers?" You say as you slump down and briefly invoke your healing to stop the hat-drum-induced headache. You're about to make a break for it when you spot something in a wastebasket out of the corner of your eye, "Oh look, a rejected screenplay for Mean Fillies 3: Breaking Dusk in Seaddle, The Musical. Here you go." you quip as you grab the rejected chick flick manuscript and drop it on Dread Judge's face while she's down. "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" she yells as you race off to find the mares, hoping to Chrysalis that you never see that particular PAIN unit ever again. Kichi comment As you continue running from the cops, you think you've lost them in an alley when suddenly you feel really fatigued. "Why *pant* Am *pant* I *pant* So *pant* Gorram *pant* Tired?" you pant. As you catch you breath, you realize that you were pretty lazy ever since you woke up. Normally most changelings would work in the hive or in the field, but lately you've just been ordering ponies around and doing minor work while consuming alot of food and your athletic body gained a couple pounds. "I got him in my sights!" "Set spells to stun!" "Oh come on!" you yell as you run off, adrenaline kicking in as you dodge unicorn blasts. If only my gorram wings and disguise would work! you mentally yell as you jump over a carrot dog cart, Why the buck do my wings and disguise still not working yet?! As you feel your adrenaline running out, you decide to use one of THE emergency secret technique. A technique that every changeling knows... "Look! It's Nightmare Moon!" you shout pointing behind you. "Where?!" "Spare me!" "Mommy!" With the cops distracted, you use the hookblade to clammer up a building and jump into the nearest open window. You catch your breath, thinking you're safe when you look up and come face to face with a mare taking a bubble bath. There's several moments of awkward silence as you just continue to stare at each other before she starts screaming. "Sorry! Sorry! I'm leaving!" you hastily apologize as you awkwardly rush out the bathroom before a bottle of shampoo hits you in the back of the head knocking off your hat. Sugar Swirl comment As you put your hat back on, you spot an open purse on the table. I could use some bit-No! I will not be a thief. At that moment, the mare runs out of the bathroom with a towel around her, "Did my husband let you in? Actually I don't care, just get the hay out!" before roughly pushing you out the door and onto the hallway. "Wait, aren't ponies usually naked anyway?" you ask in confusion to nopony in particular. "There he is! Get him!" you hear Chief Stablemaker's voice say from the end of the hall by the stairs. "Buck!" you exclaim as you run down the stairs on the opposite side of the hallway... while the three cops with the chief tackle a zebra who just happened to standing in the hallway. "Not her you fools, him!" the chief exclaims in annoyance, pointing at the staircase you just ran down... After a crazy chase scene you think you've lost the police. Only to turn around to see a ton of cops all ready to arrest you. Okay in times like this it might best to try something completely nuts. So nuts it just might work. If there's one thing ponies love it's music. So how about using the power of music and dance to escape. When you run out the front door of the apartment building, you slam the doors shut and start hastily duct-taping them. Just when you've used up the entire roll, you suddenly feel something slam into the doors from the other side. "Open this door this instant! That's an order!" "No can do chief." you smugly reply as you turn around... only to see at least a small company of unicorn and earth ponies cops surrounding you, the unicorns shining spotlight on you from their horns. "D'OH!" "Slowly get down on the ground!" You think that it's game over when out of the corner of your eye spot see a quartet of homeless ponies holding a sign reading, Will Back-Up Dance for Food Getting an idea, you quickly toss a Jar of Chocolate Peanut Butter and a Box of Ritz Crackers to them, "Follow my lead." -1 Roll of Duct Tape -3 Boxes of Ritz Crackers -3 Jars of Chocolate Peanut Butter remaining in Saddlebags With that the dancers take up position flanking you and you start singing, Oh baby, baby... Several of the cops give you confused looks at this as you saunter forward. Oh baby, baby... Suddenly a piano start playing from out of nowhere as you all start dancing. Oh baby, baby How was I supposed to know? One of the cops starts bobbing his shoulders, but quickly stops under the looks his squadmates are giving him. That something wasn't right here Oh baby baby I shouldn't have let, you goooooo Several cops start subtly moving their hips to the rhythm, not taking their attention off you. And now you're out of sight, yeah Show me, how you want it to be. Tell me baby, 'Cause I need to know now what we've got! A few of the cops closest to you join the homeless dancers. My loneliness is killing me And IIIIII I must confess, I still believe! Still believe. When I'm not with you I lose my mind, Give me a siiiiiign! Hit me baby one more time! At this point more cops are joining in and you think this crazy plan is workin- "What the hay are you all doing? Snap out of it this instant!" When you spot Chief Stablemaker, along with Officers Fluffles and Trotter, shoving past dancing officers trying to get to you. Uh oh, better skip a bit. you think as you quickly cut to the climax of the song, Oh baby, baby How was I supposed to know... Suddenly everypony else stops dancing as the unicorns' spotlights all focus on you. Oh pretty baby I shouldn't have let you gooooooooo. You sing as you climb onto the top of a paddywagon. I must confess! Everypony dances in sync around you, blocking Chief Stablemaker's path. That my loneliness Is killing me nooooooow. Don't you know I still believe? That you will be here And give me a siiiiiiiign! On this cue, everypony joins in, "HIT ME BABY ONE MORE TIME!" My loneliness is killing me And IIIIIII I must confess, I still believe. "Still believe! *smack*" Officer Trotter sings out causing Chief Stablemaker to slap off his cap in annoyance. When I'm not with you I lose my mind. Give me a siiiiiign Hit me baby one more time! You quickly perform a spinning duck to avoid a flying baton from Stablemaker taking that line literally as the other officers start singing like a chorus. I must confess "My loneliness." That my loneliness. "Is killing me." Is killing me noooooow. "I must confess." "Don't you know I still believe?" "When I'm not with you." That you will be here, "I lose my mind." And give me a siiiiiiiign... Ritz uses his hookshot to transverse the streets of manehatten With this you whip out your hookblade and grapple it onto a nearby apartment building as you finish, "See you all some other time!" Before rappelling yourself out of there as the cops are all stuck in finishing dance poses, Chief Stablemaker trying to snap everypony out of it. Thank you musical numbers. you think as you use the momentum to swing onto the roof and start roof-running across this apartments in the neighborhood when, *crash*"D'oooo*crash*oooooo*crash* oooooo *crash* oooooooo-! *thud* Ow!" You jump to the rotten roof of an abandoned building and fall through several rotting floors. "Thanks for slowing my fall ya rotten joists." you snark at the building as you get up and invoke your healing factor (again). You're about to head out the front door when... BrownDog77 comment You see that the streets are lined with scattered police units (many still humming the song). I can't just run and heal for much longer. Gotta get new clothes and soon, but how to sneak past all those cops... You look around hoping for a solution when see something inspiring; A Y.U.M. Cart on the street corner! "Horrorshow." you comment as you carefully and quickly sneaking from cover to cover (2) you manage to reach under the cart. "Psst," you whisper to the Diamond Dog vendor who looks around. "Psst, hey buddy, down here," you whisper. The dog looks down and sees you right below the window. "Are you talking to me?" he asks. "Yeah, hey, I need some help." "Sorry sir, but I'm on the clock. A party of batponies have reserved this spot for a late-night snack and..." he starts before you open your suit flashing the Dimondia Star of Zeal Medal causing his eyes to widen. "Does this change your mind?" He immediately stands straight and salutes, but you shush him, "Put your paws down and quit drawing attention, now can you help me or not?" "Of course sir, what would you like sir? I have Fried Chicken, Applewood-Smoked Bacon, Shrimp Kebabs, Smoked Turkey Sandwiches..." he starts listing off. "No, not with food (although I'm low on bits anyway) but I need something else..." SEVERAL BLOCKS LATER "Here we are." You had the Diamond Dog smuggle you in his YUM cart to the nearest place with clothes (which turned out to be a church) and use the cart to obscure the front of the church while you run to the (unlocked) door. "Thanks, Good Dog." to which he wags his tail. "By the way, how's Diamondia doing?" "Very well. The last Queen's parting gift turned out to be a massive jackpot. Our kingdom is now richer than most of the towns in Equestria combined," he says happily,"We even hired pony engineers to install a new sewer and plumbing system." You nod at this, "That's good. Well carry on then, live long and prosper and all that. Oh, and you never saw me," you say as you enter the church. "Alright then," he says as he picks up the wagon and moves on down, albeit a few bits of food less (3). When you enter the church you can't see anything. "Oh yeah, nighttime." you comment as you put on and activate Multi-Vision Goggles and set them to Night Vision. Making your way through the empty church, you manage to find the room where the church stores the clothes for the clothing drive. You take the Gold Lighter out of your suit pocket and use it to light the room's lantern before turning off, retracting, and putting away the Multi-Vision Goggles so you can look at the clothes in the room. "Time to get rid of these stars..." Down with Chrysalis comment Now that you've bought a few minutes away from the cops, you quickly take off your 47 Suit and start digging through the piles of clothes for new threads. The first article of clothing you take out is a Black T-Shirt with a skull logo The Executionator's Skull Shirt. Nice. you mentally comment as you put it on, Now if only I had something to be vengeful about. Next you throw aside some florescent orange pants to reveal a grey waistcoat with black lapels. Cool, just like my namesake's vest! you mentally squee before logic sets in, But no sleeves so no go. Although this would greatly complement my suit and make me look even more like a professional badflank. With that, you put the Grey Waistcoat on top of the 47 Suit "47 Suit" has become "Professional Suit" The next article you dig up is a pair of dark blue paints with striped yellow piping down each side that looks familiar for some reaso- No gorram way! Hay Solo's pants with second-class Corrallian Bloodstripes! you geek out as you put them on. I like the way these pants fit... Although now I always have to shoot first lest I want crazed fancolts to swarm me. you mentally snark approvingly as you take out the next item; A black neck gaiter with what looks like a broken gray lightning bolt. Oooo, the Vigilante Mask from 'Watch Hounds'. Okay game, lousy ripoff of 'Pony of Interest'. you mentally comment as you put it on, Now if only computers were real... Now with your legs and face sufficiently covered, you move on to the jacket, but you notice something unusual about it; A double-sided reversible jacket! Just like 'Mission Improbable: Phantom Protocol' without the couch jumping. You see one side is an old dark green marine jacket with a patch on the shoulder reading "King Kong Company" and a chest patch with a parachute attached to a pair of wings while the other side is a white satin jacket with black cuffs and collar along with an embroidered yellow-gold scorpion on the back. Hmm... The 'Drive' side will be useful for blending into festive environments like clubs, but the 'Carriage Driver' looks more casual. With that, you put the jacket on, green marine side facing outwards and while you are a bit disappointed at the jacket not having a sleeve-gun-apparatus, you still can't help but quote, "You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? You talkin' to-" Your quoting is interrupted when you hear knocking on the front door of the church. "Manehattan Police!" "What could they want at this hour?" you hear (what you assume to be) the priest going to answer the door. "No time for cliches, gotta finish changing." With that, you reach the crowning cherry of this outfit; a black porkpie hat. HEISENBURRO! you mentally squee putting it on... Only to suddenly feel the urge to cook a crystal meth pizza and throw it onto a roof. Shrugging off this strange urge, you put on the Multi-Vision Goggles, blow out the lantern, and walk out of the room in your new outfit but can't help but feel like you're forgetting something- "I'm sorry to bother you father, but we think there might be a dark magic-wielding fugitive in the area." You reflexively climb up the wall and onto the ceiling as you hear the sound of Officer Trotter and the priest approaching. "Of course my son, but what does the sinner look like again?" he asks as they both unwittingly pass under you, Trotter shining a light with his horn. "A male unicorn with black suit, black hat, red scarf, and solid blue eyes." Buck! Forgot to cover my eyes. you think to yourself, Gotta find some shades and fa- Hello... Your mental rushing is interrupted when you spot some Blade shades on one of the pews. Using Force Pull you pull, catch, and push the MVG onto your forehead as you on the sunglasses. "Always bet on bla- Wait, wrong Snipes movie." With that, you walk on the ceiling and are about to leave the church when your conscience gets the better of you so you leave a Bottle of Painkillers, the Large Jar of Grape Jelly, a Bottle of Mustard, and a Can of Apples Slices by the Poor box as "payment" for the clothes before leaving the church. "Bowler Hat" "Red Scarf" "Professional Suit" (Black pants, black suit, white dresshirt, red tie, and grey waistcoat) added to Saddlebags -1 Bottle of Painkillers -3 Cans of Apple Slices remaining in Saddlebags "Black Porkpie Hat" "Blade Sunglasses" "Watch Hounds Neck Gaiter" "Executionator Skull Shirt" "Reversible Jacket" ('Carriage Driver' side outwards) "Hay Solo Pants" added to perso pon your body As you leave the church you look up and see the GTC stars flashing before they disappear. Sure enough when a pair of police officers walk by, they don't even give you a second glance. "Horrowshow." you comment. BrownDog77 comment "OK, now that I'm in the clear, I gotta find Trixie and the others. I can't let them get thrown in jail for this," you say in determination. Wait, Why do I care? You stop in your tracks at this thought. Why do I care what happens to these ponies? You shake your head and say aloud "Because they're innocent, and Trixie is my friend..." still, you can't help but think. The heat is on them, and what can I really do at this point? I already led the cops on a chase, what more do I need to do? They can probably handle it. I should just take this chance and disappear... And it's true. You didn't ask for this. Heck, if they knew who you really were, they probably wouldn't go out of their way to save you. You nod your head at this point... but then you imagine Trixie in jail alone and hated, after everything she and you went through, and poor little Applebloom and her cousin in juvenile hall, losing their childhood. And even if the Elements are antsy around you, they don't deserve that. "*Sigh* Gorramit Conscience, why do you have to make everything so complicated." With that, you start heading off when you realize something. "Wait, conscience?! When did that get there?" you muse. You might have been very busy since you woke up in the Everfree, but now that your by yourself you realize that a 'conscience' highly unusual for changelings as normally your kind can't truly feel or perceive empathy, sorrow, compassion, remorse, guilt, or romantic love (although they can fake it very well), but you've been feeling quite a few of those 'pony emotions' lately. You might have been taking a coma nap in the Everfree for a month but surely that can't be enough to explain what made you more pony-like and unlike Private 9001, you're a full-blooded changeling without a pony, donkey, zebra, griffin, minotaur or any other non-changeling creature anywhere in your family lineage- *growl* Your musing is interrupted when you feel and hear your stomach growling, "Nevermind. Eat now muse later." Down with Chrysalis comment After losing the cops, you decide to grab a bite to eat... only to realize that you're in one of the most expensive cities in Equestria, you only have 2 Bits on your per pon bug, and it's late in the night so all restaurants and even nightclubs are closing anyway. As you feel sleepiness settling in, you take out 2 chocolate bars and a bottle of vanilla cola and take your time consuming them. Allowing sweet madame caffeine to help keep you awake. 6 Chocolate Bars 3 Bottles of Vanilla Cola remaining in Saddlebags SUNRISE, HOURS LATER After spending all night wandering the city, you find yourself in the neighborhood of Farrier Hill as the sun rises, ending the night. Suddenly you feel a gut feeling (4) that tells you to go into the three story apartment building next to you and go to the third flood. Weirdly specific... But I'm tired and hungry so I'm not gonna question it. you think as you open the (unlocked of course) front door of the apartment building, climb the stairs to the third floor, and knock on the door your instincts guide you towards. You overhear muffled grumbling from behind the door and approaching hoofsteps before the door opens revealing an annoyed Trixie with her purple and stars sleep mask on her forehead, "Who are you and what is so important that you can not wait until morning to disturb Trixie?" “Well seeing how the sun is rising it IS morning. And Hi to you too Trixianna the First.” you say raising your sunglasses to reveal your solid blue eyes. "Ritz?" she asks, her eyes widening in recognition. "Well that IS my nam-Woah!" Suddenly Trixie roughly yanks you into the room with her magic before slamming the door shut and aggressively says, "You have ALOT of explaining to do 'Ritz DeWitt', if that's even your real name!" WHAT DO YOU DO?