//------------------------------// // Feasts and Failure // Story: Bloom Filter // by ferret //------------------------------// Apple Bloom did manage to get to sleep, in fact. She was soon trotting down the sidewalk in an empty city. Nothing real important going on. Blinking, the little pony looked around at the empty streets and quiet shops and exclaimed, “Oh, yeah!” Then she pushed off her hooves and jumped, the city quickly diminishing below her as she entered the clear blue sky. With a look of concentration, she angled her jump to land in one of the princess’s favorite meeting spots, Promise Peak. It was always sunset here, in the dream. Well, it might not have needed to be, but sunset was where it liked to be, when you weren’t paying attention to it. Kind of odd how the sun wasn’t distorted at all down by the horizon, but sometimes dreams are just weird that way. “Princess, y’here?” Apple Bloom asked the clouds. They didn’t reveal the princess though, the only noise a soft wind whispering through the trees that spread far below the little pony. Apple Bloom stood there up there on that hill listening attentively. “Guess nobody’s around,” she said after a moment, “Wonder if ah can find Sweetie.” Apple Bloom turned on her hooves, looking around, moving her ears around as if trying to catch the sound of something somewhere. It was a more active process to do that, than while awake. Her dream softened and distorted in places, as whispers of other things started to leak through. Apple Bloom’s face brightened then, she turned to look at something. As she did, everything changed. Apple Bloom found herself in a boutique of sorts, probably that place that Rarity worked. There were a bunch of Sweetie Belles here actually, all little ponies, some pushing the paddle on the sewing machines with their little hooves, some feeding the cloth into the machines, and contrarily some sewing through the cloth with big needles held in their muzzles. There was no rhyme or reason to the sewing, just a bunch of cloth piling everywhere. The sound of Sweetie’s pleasant humming filled the air in a way that felt just like Rarity. Apple Bloom’s ears went slowly down, and she looked around uncertainly, asking, “Uh... which one’s... you, Sweetie?” “Oh, Apple Bloom!” Sweetie Belle exclaimed, looking up from where she was using her forehooves to feed cloth into a sewing machine. The rest of the Sweeties just sort of... faded out when she did, and Sweetie continued to say, “I was just thinking about you! Before I started sewing um...” She held up the haphazardly stitched fabric coming out of her machine, looking at it uncertainly. “...something.” “I think we did it!” Apple Bloom told her excitedly, standing on level with the little unicorn, now on the table next to a sewing machine which had become giant sized beside the two of them. “Did what?” Sweetie asked curiously, looking around at the lavender and tan room she was in. “And where’s Rarity? Did she bring us here?” “Sweetie, you’re dreamin’!” Apple Bloom said to her, putting a hoof on the unicorn’s chest. “No I’m not,” Sweetie denied in puzzlement. “I was just... what was I just doing? Is this really a dream?” she looked around again at the humongous tabletop they stood on, next to a spindle the size of a car. Things were changing size weirdly now, and the air was wavering around the surprised looking unicorn. “Careful now,” Apple Bloom cautioned Sweetie hastily. “Don’t move, just relax and let it settle, or you’ll wake up.” Sweetie nodded in understanding, and sat on her haunches focusing on Apple Bloom while everything else sort of... calmed down. “Alright, now I got a more stable place that we can relax some,” Apple Bloom said, “Just hold tight and ah’ll find us a way.” She hunted around the area a bit, until spying the fabric discarded by Sweetie earlier, now a giant pile of cloth on the table. “Oh here we go,” she said at the rumpled edge of the fabric. She called over to Sweetie still sitting on her haunches, “You remember that hill I took you to the other day, to watch the sunset?” “Yeah, are we going there?” Sweetie asked curiously, and Apple Bloom nodded. “Sure thing,” she said, “Ah want ya to think about that place, remember with the grass underneath ya and all the trees around and stuff.” Sweetie nodded, then looked around uncertainly, saying, “It isn’t changing to there. Are you sure we can change this um... table?” “We don’t have to, Sweetie,” Apple Bloom explained, hooking a hoof under the edge of the fabric. “There’s a tunnel leading to that hill, right under this cloth here. Come on over this way and ah’ll show you.” She lifted the edge of the fabric as Sweetie stood, and trotted carefully over there, looking under the cloth into the darkness without confidence. “C’mon! Follow me,” Apple Bloom said excitedly, sticking her head under and then wiggling the rest of her under the cloth, using her tail behind her to hold it open for Sweetie Belle. Sweetie hesitantly inched in next to Apple Bloom, who let the flap fall closed behind both of them, covering them with fabric. “Are you sure this is the way?” Sweetie asked, looking nervously back at the boutique’s light still edging in under the cloth that was flattening her ears. “It’s a way, and that’s what’s important,” Apple Bloom said matter-of-factly. “It’s just right over here, on the other side of the cloth.” She and Sweetie pushed their way blindly through the cloth’s folds, and Apple Bloom’s hoof lifted up the edge of it, to reveal that this pile of fabric was actually just lying on the grass, on the very hill she had been talking about. Sweetie looked back in confusion, still seeing the boutique’s light coming from the other side of the fabric, then stuck her head out again, seeing herself emerging from a randomly placed pile of cloth out in the middle of a hilly forest out behind Apple Bloom’s house. “Wow, this is really weird,” Sweetie said with a frightened wonder in her eyes, wiggling out from the cloth entirely. It didn’t disappear or anything. It was still there: just a little pile of cloth they crawled out from, looking out of place in the natural setting. Sweetie then looked up at the expansive sky with its teasing bits of clouds, and the sunset way out there past the endless stands of trees. “It’s also really pretty,” she added, “It looks so real. Is this your dream?” “Sorta. It’s mah ‘memory’ more than my dream,” Apple Bloom explained, leading Sweetie up to the soft round peak of the hilltop, where some flattened grass clearly indicated some people, or ponies, had been sitting there. “The princess likes to talk with me, so she wants places to talk. She cain’t remember nothin’ more than a library, but she wants to see more than just that, so I gotta make places for her. Ah know this place real well, since I visit it often and spend a lot of time really takin’ it all in. It makes it easier to dream about, that way. That make sense?” “How did you learn all this?” Sweetie declared, with a look of new respect for her surroundings, settling easily on her belly to watch the sunset, her pretty tail curled neatly around her hindquarters. “Hmm?” Apple Bloom responded curiously. “Ah told you. The princess needed to talk, so she told me to think up a real good memory that ah really liked, and had me reinforce it, so she could put us there. She’s the one doin’ this really, not me.” “Is she here?” Sweetie asked hopefully. Apple Bloom looked around thoughtfully again. “Don’t think so, Sweetie, sorry. If’n she is, she’ll have to come walkin’ up on her own. She ain’t singin’ like you were.” Sweetie blushed at that right through the fuzzy white fur on her face. “I was just humming, while I worked. I don’t even remember what song it was.” “No big deal, Sweetie,” Apple Bloom remarked, coming to sit beside her. “What about Scootaloo?” Sweetie asked turning to Apple Bloom with a curious look in her pale green eyes. “Are you going to get her too?” Apple Bloom frowned, and looked forward. “Ah was, Sweetie,” she said to the filly at her side, “But now ah dunno. I don’t just wanna leave you here all by yourself. You ain’t even done this dream thing much. It was lots easier for me to slip out of it and get lost when I first started.” “I don’t feel like I’m slipping though,” Sweetie said, looking back at her rump critically, that tail of hers moving easily and smoothly to her command. “That’s ‘cause we’re both here, and I can kinda hold on better,” Apple Bloom answered easily. “If I left, it’d be just like when I first met the dream princess. Everything just sort of slides out, and you get distracted, then you’re somewhere else again, and just lost in the dream. Like normal, y’know? Takes practice not to do that, but it’s easy enough for me to help keep this place together for you.” “So, you’re kind of like a dream princess now?” Sweetie asked curiously. “Naw, I’m just...” Apple Bloom paused and put a hoof under her chin. “Ah guess maybe?” she admitted giving Sweetie an uneasy look. “Th’ princess just showed me this stuff a little so it’d be easier for her, but it ain’t nothing nobody couldn’t get with practice.” Sweetie leaned her head sideways into Apple Bloom’s bow with a happy smile, saying, “It’s fun to dream together. I don’t feel lost when I’m not the only one in a dream.” Apple Bloom didn’t stop her or anything, just blushed and looked forward, then stammered out, “S-so I figure we’ll just pick up Scootaloo later. Heck ah’m surprised ah found you on the first try. Surprised this even works at all. We’re like... are we in your head or mine right now?” “Yours, because this is your dream,” Sweetie suggested helpfully. “Yeah, but then how are you in mah head?” Apple Bloom puzzled. “If’n they measured your brainwaves, would they all be over here or the like?” Sweetie didn’t answer, just looking baffled. “Well anyways, we’re dreaming now,” Apple Bloom admitted agre, “So why don’t we have some fun!” “Like what?” Sweetie asked curiously. “We can play pirates!” Apple Bloom suggested brightly. “Isn’t that a little... juvenile?” Sweetie said, giving Apple Bloom an uncertain look. “Not the way the princess plays it!” Apple Bloom declared, standing up on fours on the hilltop. She whistled hard, and then from the distant horizon, something rose over the tree line, floating steadily towards them. Sweetie squinted at it in the sun’s glare. “What is that?” she declared in a puzzled tone, “Is that a...” before just staring at it speechlessly. The zepplin swiftly dwarfed the two ponies in size, soaring up to them in a graceful hum of its whirring propellors. The canvas balloon was a sunset brown and gold, with Apple Bloom’s red and yellow painted around it in broad, lateral stripes. The ship’s bow came right up to the tiny hill on which they stood, making it easy for Apple Bloom to jump right onto the flat, oaken boards of the upper deck. “C’mon, Sweetie!” Apple Bloom shouted over the wind whipping in her hair, holding out a hoof for Sweetie Belle to grab onto. “Let’s go find us some sky pirates!” Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle had a lot of fun, but no matter how many dream pirates they found, they never saw hide nor hair of Scootaloo. Scootaloo definitely got enough attention during the day, but during the nights that week, they just couldn’t find her, and it was obvious she was beginning to really feel left out from their dreams. It was child’s play for Apple Bloom to find Sweetie Belle, compared to Scootaloo. Scootaloo said she didn’t mind, and she slept fine, but the truth is she did, and she didn’t. Apple Bloom was tempted to say Scootaloo didn’t have any dreams, but... when you sleep with someone, they can’t exactly hide from you anymore, what happens to them at night. Scootaloo wasn’t lying when she said she never could remember her dreams, but... there was something serious going on with her. Not every night. Not often. But once was enough. Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle had been playing around in a dream with a scaled down model of Canterlot City, when an unearthly scream shook the world around them. “What’s going on?!” Sweetie shrieked. “It came from all over!” Apple Bloom shouted, looking around and fighting with a... building that had toppled over on her, and had now decided to start wrestling with her! “Sweetie, help! This thing won’t let me g—” and that’s when Apple Bloom realized she was actually fighting with Scootaloo, awake, in bed! “What the hay are you doing Scootaloo?!” Apple Bloom hissed out, pushing the struggling pegasus off her, only for Scootaloo to leap for the edge of the bed. Apple Bloom lunged forward and grabbed her before she could fall but Scootaloo was frantic. “Help, I have to—help I...I have to” was all Scootaloo said, in an eerily subdued voice, while Apple Bloom wrestled her down, forcing her still and staring down at her in a fright, at her friend’s crazily unfocused eyes. Scootaloo finally focused, seeing Apple Bloom, and her eyes got really big and liquid even in the dim light. “Apple Bloom, you’re okay!” Scootaloo sobbed, sitting up to hug the very confused pony girl. “So you never dream, huh?” Sweetie Belle grumbled, staring at Scootaloo very irately, perhaps less intimidating with the blankets draping over her head. Sweetie was unharmed, but very miffed at having been trampled under the blankets, on Scootaloo’s way to wherever the heck she thought she was going. “W-what?” Scootaloo gasped breathlessly, turning to look at Sweetie in confusion. Scoots looked back up at Apple Bloom who was holding her down, then scrunched up her face in dejection, and kicked up against Apple Bloom, but Apple Bloom wouldn’t let her go again. It wasn’t the same as before, though. Scootaloo was just... angry now, not... terrified. “I can’ beliefe that happened again!” Scootaloo said angrily, crossing her forehooves over her head when she couldn’t escape Apple Bloom’s firm embrace. “You ain’t gonna try to uh... run off now, are ya?” Apple Bloom said uncertainly, starting to feel uncomfortable with how she was literally belly to belly with Scootaloo like this. Her two friends really were gonna have to get some clothes too, for all their dignity’s sake. “No, I’m fine now...” Scootaloo grumbled under her breath. Apple Bloom cautiously backed off and let her loose, and Sweetie Belle immediately set into her saying to Scootaloo seethingly, “See? You shtill dream. What were you dreaming about that scared you so much?” “Sweetie, I... I just...” Scootaloo sagged under Sweetie’s gaze, saying, “I can’t remember. I never can. I don’t know the t-therapist calls them night terrors, but they aren’t really a dream. It’s just black... like something eating me. I just... I’m not lying to you, Sweetie. I–I really don’t remember, all I remember is just that... “All I remember,” Scootaloo said sorrowfully, “Is that it’s all my fault.” After that display, it was pretty much Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle’s duty to find Scootaloo in her dreams. Scootaloo tried her best to remember and to really dream or whatever she could do, and at least she didn’t have any of those night things again. Apparantly literally the last dream Scootaloo could remember was the one they shared back near the beginning of the school year, with the Golden Apple. It was so tricky to find her, whatever Scootaloo was doing as far as dreaming goes. Apple Bloom wished the princess was here, because Apple Bloom found herself pretty much feeling around blindly at this point. She followed Scootaloo-y feelings in the dream, dragging poor Sweetie along through some very strange landscapes. She tried calling Scootaloo, tried dreaming of things Scootaloo was familiar with, but all she could ever find is a sort of rushing darkness. Thanksgiving was normally a huge affair for the Apple family, a big gathering of relatives from far and wide. Sort of like a reunion. Apple Bloom had fond memories of the dancing and the rodeo, and the delicious spread of food not just from their farm but far and wide, the roasting of a bull, good times. But with Apple Bloom and her friends turning into ponies, that severely put a damper on things. What was causing it? Could they risk exposing anyone else? How could they in good conscience host a celebration that might end up spreading it throughout the whole country? What really threw them for a loop is, it wasn’t hard to just call the whole thing off this year. Braeburn would have been crushed to think he couldn’t visit his family out in Canterlot, and they expected emails from him worrying about what to say when he did. But then they sent him an email and he didn’t even bother answering it. Nor did anyone else working on his farm in Appaloosa. Apple Fritter employed a good portion of the family in his fudge factory, but she said there had been some kind of meltdown and literally none of them could attend. Nobody was surprised when the Oranges didn’t have time to call. About the only people asking about the reunion were Apple Cobbler, the repairman living off downtown, his daughter Red Gala, who was a drama major, and Fiddly, the school’s music teacher. Those, they had to disappoint, but it wasn’t... too bad. So it was a bittersweet event when Thanksgiving rolled around. It wasn’t all bad, because they still had plenty of people who could come over, even if they weren’t strictly related. Cheerilee brought a big wobbly jello mold, and bags of carrots and green beans. Rarity brought with her these lovingly crafted vegetable turnovers all ready for deep frying. Rainbow Dash came over, because as she put it her holidays were lame and she wanted to see more of Scootaloo now that her wings were grown in all the way. While Scootaloo was fawning over Rainbow Dash, the other two ponies were at the heels of Twilight and Sunset, pestering them with endless questions. The two had initially declined to come, but Applejack’s persistent argument that Thanksgiving was better spent with as much people as possible won them over in the end. Sunset even managed the grill allowing Applejack to spend more time making sure everyone was entertained and taking care of anything anybody needed. Maybe there wasn’t enough people around to roast a bull, but there were plenty enough to get through a whole turkey. Big Mac made sure the bird arrived straight from the supermarket, and Granny Smith lovingly doted over the bird all day slowly cooking it to a golden sheen. Besides that there were plenty of delicious vegetables, some home baked bread that Applejack had all ready for the oven, and the turkey gravy came out just perfect. The pony girls may have only been able to eat small portions of everything, even for their size, but what they could they did eat with enthusiasm, even to Twilight and Rarity’s disgust a little slice of turkey. That was when Pinkie Pie crashed the party. She came riding up in that weird looking very pink painted jalopy. Apparantly Pinkie had renovated it herself from where she found it in the junkyard, and considering she was a dramatist, not a techie that was... an odd accomplishment, and an odd car. The back popped open into a whole three level platform, that she just detached from the thing. Pinkie detached the rolling tray from her car, wheeled around, and charged for their front door screaming at the top of her lungs. Applejack got the door open, but not in time to get out of the way. She was carted along with the charging girl, bursting into the living room and careening around crazily on skidding wheels, finally coming to rest neatly at the corner to the kitchen. “Applejack!” Pinkie squealed admonishingly in the aftermath, “Careful, or you’ll squish the cupcakes!” Three pairs of pony ears immediately perked at that. “Pinkie, what—” Applejack said carefully pushing herself off of this assembly which was a set of three platforms painted brightly pink, white and blue, all brimming with delightful fluffy frosty and sugary treats, straight from the bakery Pinkie Pie worked at in exchange for room and board. And cupcakes. “You forgot dessert, sillies!” Pinkie said with a cheeky smile, standing beside her stand, with her hands on her hips. “How are you gonna call it Thanksgiving, without dessert?” Apple Bloom snuck up and took a cupcake in her hoof. Biting into it immediately released a torrent of unimaginably delicious sugary vanilla, and the soft crumb of the cupcake parted in the middle to have a creamy center. “Ofm, vese’re goofd!” she exclaimed brightly, only to have Pinkie turn to look at her with a widening smile and exclaim, “Oh. My. God. You are soooo cute!” Apple Bloom almost lost the cupcake when Pinkie just bear hugged her right then and there, dragging her up into the air as Apple Bloom determinedly refused to let the pastry fly off of her hoof. The cupcake was the size of a big old muffin by Apple Bloom’s scale, but even then she managed to get through most of it in delicious bites of sugary goodness, the cupcake taking far greater priority than the strange girl who was hugging her. “Oh,” came the disappointed voice of Pinkie Pie, “I made them too big! Of course I did, because you’re just a little pony now!” Setting Apple Bloom on the ground, Pinkie zipped right over to the other two who had maybe 2 milliseconds to react to Pinkie’s approach before she was fawning over them saying, “Ohmygosh you’re adorable! You look just like humans, but teeny little ponies! You have a horn just like Rarity said you know she really loves unicorns oh I guess you do because you are one oh my gosh you’re so fuzzy! How can you be so fuzzy? Your back is just fuzzy as fuzzy can be! I wish I could fuzz Scootaloo’s back like yours but her wings keep pushing me away otherwise I’d be totally all over her I bet I mean really who doesn’t like fuzzy furry pony people? Not me!” “What?” Scootaloo said with an uncomprehending stare, pushing Pinkie’s hand reflexively away with a wing. Applejack hauled Pinkie away then and said, “Alright, alright give the girls some space. How’re they gonna enjoy your desserts if’n you’re all over them the entire evening?” “Oh my gosh, you’re right!” Pinkie declared as if she wasn’t getting dragged backwards on her heels. “Dessert is on me!” she shouted to the two before Applejack got her into the next room. “Thirds should be perfect!” her shout came from the laundry room where Applejack had retreated with the girl. “I forgot how overwhelming Pinkie Pie could be,” Sweetie said dizzily. “C’mon, let’s get some of those cupcakes,” Scootaloo said hurrying forward, “Before she finds another excuse to come after us!” Apple Bloom ran for a cake knife in the kitchen, coming out with its handle clutched firmly in her mouth. “Hol’ on,” she said, “Don’ jus’ bite it!” Then she cut one of those oversized cupcakes neatly into three pieces, each falling over and somewhat smushing the rich, creamy frosting piped on top of them. Dropping the knife Apple Bloom said, “Okay, try that.” Somewhat less enthusiastically, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle craned their heads down and started eating, quickly getting through the portion of cupcake they had, Scootaloo murmuring, “ftho sthweet...” in an enraptured tone. Pinkie Pie brought about 20 times as much dessert as two ponies could eat, with two pies, a couple dozen cupcakes, a whole bowl full of cookies bursting with chocolate chips, and several puff pastries filled up with cherry jelly. Thankfully there were more than just ponies here. They had some leftovers of course, but the pies would keep well, and Rainbow Dash it turns out was quite a voracious eater, sensible considering how active she was. There was leftover turkey, and mashed potatoes, cupcakes and cookies and pie, stuffing and gravy, and a little bit of that bread loaf. Not enough to get sick of leftovers, but definitely enough for a round 2 on Friday, with another helping of steamed green beans added to the spread on that day. What really killed Apple Bloom was Diamond Tiara. Instead of being here with all this food and these great friends, she was just having her thanksgiving in the cafeteria, at the orphanage. She should’ve been here. She needed to be here. It was just wrong to think of that girl all by herself with nothing to comfort her besides a dinner that included a single slice of turkey and some stuffing made from a mix. Two weeks were done and gone since the Formal, right on the brink of December, but still they had no luck with Scootaloo’s subconscious, and still no word that Diamond Tiara wanted to have anything to do with them anymore. Apple Bloom was honestly starting to get worried, in both respects, but especially where Diamond Tiara was concerned. She figured it was high time to start playing dirty, before Diamond could build it all up until she exploded from the stress, again. “Applejack,” Apple Bloom asked her sister Saturday evening, rearing up to where the farm girl was sitting in her room, frantically working at her desk, on some essay questions for her homework studying. Thanksgiving was a four day holiday, so they had to give extra work for the students to complete. Apple Bloom just... didn’t feel good about that, but she felt worse about her conspicuously missing friend. Applejack paused as her sister came to her, sat up and stretched so hard her back cracked. She looked down at Apple Bloom with a tired smile, saying, “What can ah do fer you, Apple Bloom?” “Ah need you to help me get Diamond Tiara to come over next weekend,” Apple Bloom said frankly. “Ah already asked her,” Applejack sighed, “An’ she said no. She just ain’t interested. Said she didn’t wanna spend no time with you, if you’re just gonna go be ponies without her.” “That’s the problem though,” Apple Bloom insisted. “She needs to be part of this. She’s gonna be hurting even more if I let her stew on it than if she has to be the one girl among ponies. Plus she don’t really want to be a pony. She just feels left out, an’ she’s making it worse by staying left out.” “Dunno how much ah can do,” Applejack said shaking her head. “You expect me to drag her off to the farm against her will?” Apple Bloom pondered on that, pushing off of Applejack’s chair, falling easily back down to four hooves on the floor. “Uh, Apple Bloom...” came Applejack’s warning voice. Apple Bloom ignored that though, and just tapped a hoof on her chin going, “Against her will, huh...” “Apple Bloom, if you’re thinkin’ about doing something sneaky—” Applejack pre-admonished. Apple Bloom just smiled up at her sister, saying, “You don’t have to tell her to come at all. Just tell Diamond that if she doesn’t come over this weekend, some pony might have to let slip how she feels about a certain some not pony in this household.” Now Applejack was looking worried. “...Diamond Tiara has a crush on Big Mac?” she said disbelievingly. It was the only logical conclusion, after all. “No,” Apple Bloom pouted, swaying her tail cagily, “Maybe. Okay a little bit, maybe. But she’ll have to come over then, just so she can yell at me about how it ain’t true.” Applejack just stared down at the little red and yellow pony, wrapped up in such an innocent little giant pink bow. “...you are one sneaky lil’ pony, Apple Bloom,” Applejack said in a defeated tone, turning back to her essays. “It’s the truth, though!” Apple Bloom whined in protest. “Yeah,” Applejack said without looking her way. “An’ that’s the problem.” “Ah just wanna see her again!” Apple Bloom exclaimed frustratedly. “Well now ah gotta tell her,” Applejack said angrily. “She’s been puttin’ eyes on mah brother? You know ah cain’t let this go.” “Ain’t nothing serious,” Apple Bloom muttered. “Ah think it might even help her reputation.” “An’ what about your brother?” Applejack said. “You were just gonna keep this a secret and wait for her to move on him?” “No ah—” Apple Bloom stomped in frustration. “Ah just think it’d get her attention. She’s being dishonest with herself if she thinks she don’t wanna come over, and when she is here, we can all work it out. Once we’re all together as friends again!” “And with our brother none the wiser while she ogles him,” Applejack said in disgust. “Ah promise ah’ll... talk to him about it, ah just... want you to tell Diamond, about the thing that don’t really exist,” Apple Bloom pleaded, “Ah know Diamond, and sometimes she just needs to get riled up! Otherwise she’s gonna stay stubbornly hurting herself.” “Well ah’ll tell her,” Applejack said reluctantly. “But I cain’t promise it’ll go like you wish it would.” “Well what else am ah gonna do?” Apple Bloom said resentfully. “Big Macintosh is the only kid living here who still goes to school besides you. You think ah should ask him to tell Diamond she’s got a crush on him?” In hindsight, that probably wouldn’t have been nearly as embarassing as asking Applejack to do it. But hindsight is 20/20, even when you can see more sideways than you used to be able to. “I am not in love with your brother!” “You sure seem defensive about that,” Apple Bloom said slyly the very next day, strutting smugly back and forth in front of her tetchy pink friend, who was suddenly here after such a worrisome absence. “Had to come all the way over here to tell me about it, huh?” “Well, who else am I gonna tell?” Diamond sneered down at the pony in front of her. “It’s not like anyone else gives a flying flip about my reputation.” The two were facing it off against each other in the living room of the farm house, after Applejack got back from school, driving in with Granny and Diamond Tiara. Applejack immediately foisted the girl off on Apple Bloom, saying, “You dug your grave, now you get to lay in it.” Then Applejack just stomped upstairs in a huff. Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle were in the other room, working on drawing, and in the other room they remained, because DT was clearly on the warpath. “Maybe ah’m trying to help your reputation!” Apple Bloom protested in a cheery voice, her cherry red tail swishing around behind her. “Imagine how envious all the kids at school would be, with knowing that Diamond Tiara’s special someone is a big, strong upperclassman.” “He is not—” Diamond Tiara cut off and blushed hotly. “Are you seriously trying to hook me up with your own brother?!” “What? No!” Apple Bloom snapped her head around to face the girl. “I didn’t mean—ah was just—!” “Oh, I should tell my special someone,” Diamond said, now looking smug herself. “To thank you for setting him up with all the cute young girls. I’m sure he’d appreciate knowing how you’re thinking of him!” “Ah didn’t mean it that way, Diamond Tiara, and you know it!” Apple Bloom said hotly. Diamond frowned angrily saying, “Then why are you trying to spread rumors that I am?!” Apple Bloom blinked. “I just asked my sister t’mention it to you,” Apple Bloom said in puzzlement. “She ain’t the kind to spread rumors. I know what you’re thinking, but ah’m pretty sure she only told you.” Earlier that week, Diamond Tiara was in the school cafeteria, getting her tray and looking for that... Dinky boy, who she of course saw going to hang out with the techies, again. Of course he sat right next to Silver. That so-called friend of hers just loved taking everything Diamond had, and still being so clueless about it! Silver didn’t even realize how important having a friend was to Diamond right now. Silver just laughed along with Dinky’s dry humor, and just in general was a happy, beautiful, popular girl. Diamond clenched her teeth, betting that Silver chose that major just so boys would like her, and she didn’t even really like any of that electronic sciency stuff that she was always prattling on about. And now Silver had Dinky’s ear, and technically he was a techie and had always sat at that table, but who was Diamond supposed to sit with now?! “Scuze me,” came a familiar older girl’s voice, one Diamond didn’t want to have to face again. “Ugh,” she said dully, looking over her shoulder. “What do you want?” “Word has it you got a crush on my big brother,” Applejack said quietly, with a dangerous glint in her eyes. “What?” Diamond said sweating internally. “No! No I—maybe a litt–no! Why would I just randomly have a—a crush on some boy?” “Oh, randomly, huh?” Applejack said in in a somewhat peeved tone. The two girls faced each other, lunch tray to lunch tray, Applejack’s full head of height above Diamond very apparant as the older girl expressed in a very disapproving tone. “Think you might be lyin’ about that? Because mah sister seems to think so. She seen you makin’ eyes at him. All that time you been spending at our farm, and you never even gave him a second glance?” Diamond gulped, and really didn’t see a good way to talk her way out of this. “There’s nothing wrong with your... brother,” Diamond said diplomatically. “He’s pretty good as far as boys go, you know, for some girl in his class. But why would Apple Bloom even think that I was interested in him?” “Can’t say,” Applejack said, slightly turning away with her eyes shifting nervously. “But ah reckon she’ll keep tellin’ people about that, long as she got some sorta mixed up notion in her head.” Applejack faced Diamond again, saying, “What you need to do, is come to the farm this weekend, an’ set that poor girl straight. That is, if you don’t have a crush on Big Macintosh.” “Well maybe she shouldn’t spread rumors like that in the first place,” Diamond sneered. “I think she’s just lonely like she always is. Oh wait no, sorry I forgot that all our friends are living with you now. Must be fun being a bunch of stupid little ponies who don’t care about anyone else!” “You take that back!” Applejack said hotly, slamming her tray down on the lunch counter. “Just because Apple Bloom thinks you have the hots for Big Macintosh doesn’t mean she don’t care about you! Why don’t you come over anymore? Too good for a bunch of stupid little ponies? You don’t even know how it’s been eatin’ her alive wondering if you even care about her anymore! And you think she ain’t gonna do anything to get you back, even confess that she knows about your crush?” “I don’t have a crush! Big Macintosh is nice, but... I—I don’t! It’s totally not like that!” Diamond retorted intelligently. “She shouldn’t be talking about it at all!” she said angrily. “She’s got no right to be spreading rumors like that. She doesn’t know anything about what goes on at school anymore!” “Maybe if you would come see her, then you could tell her what’s goin’ on,” Applejack retorted equally hotly, folding her arms. “And then she’d stop trying to tell everyone about how you have the hots for my big brother! “But maybe she ain’t lyin’ after all!” Applejack continued in agitation. “You know he’s my big brother, by a whole year? Big Macintosh? You got eyes for him, do ya? Wanna get with some hanky panky huh? Ah ain’t judging you, but if you don’t think Big Mac is the hottest thing since Clint Eastwood, then you better go tell mah sister, because with you makin’ eyes at him all the time, she somehow got the wrong idea!” “Uh...” a dopey looking boy’s voice spoke behind Applejack. “Could you two argue about your crush on Big Macintosh over there? Some of us still wanna get our food.” Both Applejack and Diamond Tiara suddenly turned beet red in the face. Slowly turning around, Diamond saw that like the whole lunch room was quietly watching them argue. Well, not quietly anymore! Now they were all whispering to each other, and Silver was smirking at her like you sly vixen, you, and of course one of her roommates had lunch this period, just looking at her with one of those delighted grins, one of the grins that told you you’re going to wake up one morning pretty soon, with your hair covered in oatmeal. “N-n-now hold on,” Applejack said stepping forward and addressing the whole lunch room. Diamond wanted to leap on her and rip her to shreds like a bad dream, just to get her to stop talking but no, Applejack was going to try to defend her now. Thus attracting the attention of absolutely everyone. “Diamond here might not have a crush on mah brother!” Applejack protested. “I just heard that she did. So y-you shouldn’t just believe it because his own sister thinks so, a-and his other sister too. That don’t necessarily mean nothing!” Behind them, the lunch line had given up waiting and were just walking past the stammering, apologizing, older girl, and the absolutely blushing pink Freshman, who was so humiliated that she couldn’t even do anything besides pretend she was a statue and wish that they’d stop staring at her, like she was some kind of attention whoring floozy, the kind who just ran after older boys and went and—and did things that Diamond Tiara would most certainly never even think about doing. Even though she was kind of curious... “So, Diamond Tiara doesn’t have a... well, she might have a crush on mah brother,” Applejack explained clearly, “But that don’t mean she does, even though they been spending a lot of time together, on account of her coming over to visit on the weekends. But don’t y’all go jumping to conclusions now. Ah mean, maybe it is true that—” “Just shut up,” Diamond hissed grabbing Applejack’s shirt and shaking her as effectively as possible. “Shut up!” she shouted up to the flustered upperclassmangirl. “Diamond,” Applejack said gently, down to the girl grabbing her shirt, struggling to put her in a suplex, or something. “Ah’m just—” “Like... shut it!!” Diamond shouted. “Not one more word! Don’t tell anyone about my crush on—” she staggered back from Applejack, now facing the crowd very interested in the suddenly distraught ragged looking girl. “I don’t have a crush!” she belted out, to which nobody anywhere paid any heed. “I don’t! I don’t—just leave me alone!!” Diamond didn’t stop running until she had her back to the doors of the cafeteria, breathing hard out there in the hallway. If she had any slight vestige of a reputation left, it was completely and totally shredded. All because of that stupid friend of hers. Expecting Applejack to have any sense of subtlety or tact. Applejack! Apple Bloom must have scrambled her little pony brains if she forgot how stupid her sister could be about discretion. Did Diamond really just shout at the entire lunch room that she didn’t have a crush on Big Macintosh? She might as well have taken him to the Fall Formal! The other door beside Diamond swung open, and Applejack stuck her head out, holding her hat apologetically. “So uh... sorry ‘bout that, uh...” she said apologetically. “Ah was just tryin’ to be uh... ah’m not really good at y’know ah mean to say... are you still comin’ over this weekend, to tell Apple Bloom you ain’t got a crush on Big Mac?” “Oh I’ll tell her...” Diamond seethed. “I’ll tell her, like... really good.” “That’s great!” Applejack said with a politely cheerful smile. “Meet me an’ granny by the pickup on Friday afternoon and ah’ll drive you right over.” “Your sister didn’t tell me,” Diamond Tiara shouted wildly at Apple Bloom. “She told the whole lunch room!” She was so mad Diamond just picked up Apple Bloom around the waist and— “Hey, let me go!” Apple Bloom said, struggling against Diamond Tiara fiercely. “How could you expect her to keep a secret?” Diamond shrieked holding the pony in her arms to her face. “Diamond!” Apple Bloom yelled back, kicking her legs out and squirming her torso underneath the girl’s death grip on her. “Put me down!” “Stop struggling and answer me!” Diamond demanded, almost losing the pony when she pushed— “Why are you so darned—augh—strong?!” “It wasn’ a stupid idea!” Apple Bloom squealed unrepentantly, easily pushing away Diamond’s cheek with a hoof, no matter how Diamond tried to get in her face, “Because you’re being stupid too!” Then with a powerful buck of her hips, Apple Bloom broke Diamond’s attempt to bear hug her. It was like trying to hold down an out of control washing machine on spin cycle. Apple Bloom smacked Diamond in the side with a rear hoof, and then both of them were falling. Apple Bloom was gallopping away as soon as her hooves touched floor. “Ow! that’s my—” Diamond struggled to her feet, holding her side and running after the pony, shouting, “Augh, get back here!!” “Never!” Apple Bloom cried defiantly, running up the back of the couch and vanishing over the other side. Diamond circled around the couch to block the pony off from escaping, saying with a manic twitch, “You’re going to—” A pillow hurled from the couch, right solidly into Diamond’s face, knocking her back on her butt. “Raaagh!” Diamond roared, leaping onto the couch where the pony was still crouched in angry defiance. Apple Bloom bucked hard against Diamond, her pony body now less like soft marshmallow and more like corded steel as it threw the both of them off the couch, rolling on the floor. “Say you’re sorry!” Diamond shouted, grabbing the pony’s forelegs and getting in her face. “You say you’re sorry!” Apple Bloom said defiantly, her hind legs shoving against Diamond’s pelvis so hard it flipped the purple and white haired girl over the pony entirely, the wind knocked out of her with a guff when Diamond landed on her back. Trotting around to glare at the girl furiously, Apple Bloom repeated, “Say you’re—!” cutting off as Diamond tried to sit up, struggling desperately to breathe. “Diamond are you okay?!” Apple Bloom exclaimed in sudden worried alarm. “Shut... up just... shut it...” Diamond gasped, holding her arms around her sore ribs as stars spun in her head. “Apple Bloom what the hay is—Apple Bloom, what did you do?!” Applejack charged in the room, followed by a double take at the girl curled on the floor. There was Diamond Tiara lying there in the fetal position, beside the now frantically worried pony sister of hers. When Applejack spoke, Apple Bloom’s eyes widened, as she stared forward at Diamond with a distant shock, and it looked like she was gonna start bawling again. But then, Apple Bloom’s head shot up, to stare her sister in the face with an angry, hard glare. “Ah trusted you, that’s what ah did!” Apple Bloom shouted venomously. Then her lip quivered, and she backed up a pony step. Applejack tried to approach her to hug her or—or something but Apple Bloom just ran then, clomping up the stairs, and clattering across the hallway overhead, the sounds of her hooves leading straight to her room. The sound of her somewhere between shouting and sobbing a distant second to that one. Applejack just stared after her guiltily, hand still outstretched. Beside Applejack, Diamond Tiara coughed, “I’m...fine...” the younger girl sitting up and hunching forward, with her forehead resting against her closed fists. “Not even hurt, just got... winded,” she lied, her breathing returning slowly to normal. Giving Applejack a reluctantly serious look, Diamond added still a bit breathlessly, “Never pick a... fight with a pony.” Twilight Sparkle and Sunset Shimmer returned from the Apple family’s Thanksgiving party laughing and chatting amiably with each other. It was so convenient Twilight thought that these public transportation wagons were there so that you could hold a conversation with your friend while someone else drove you where you needed to go. Which struck her as really odd, because aside from her and Sunset, every time she’d ridden on one of those, every human was ignoring each other, just playing with something on their phone generally. “Spike, are you here?” Twilight asked, as she unlocked the door to their crummy apartment, which technically wasn’t theirs at all, but when you have a need, and a key, you make do right? That was something normal ponies did, who were in this sort of situation, right? “Of course I’m here!” Spike barked, from where it sounded like he’d been sleeping on the bed again. “Where else would I go?” He came padding on all fours out of the single bedroom, not a problem for the three of them since none of them were exactly human. It was an odd custom of humans, to be avoidant of sharing beds together. Though considering Twilight’s first attempt at a sleepover, there could be problems with sharing the bed too. “Why do you never invite me to your parties?” Spike said with a whine. He had these big, beautiful, soulful eyes in this form that... acklpth. Twilight shook her head fiercely, and explained, “We’ve gone over this before. I’ve only just barely begun to win their trust, and they’ve been” “Through so much,” he finished for her, rolling his eyes and waving a paw in the air. “I know, I know. Wouldn’t want them to get all freaked out at the amazing talking dog, huh? I still say I could just bark, and pretend to be a normal dog.” He barked twice, very convincingly, to illustrate his point. “It’s just too much of a risk, Spike,” Twilight pleaded, getting on her knees to look him in the eye. “I don’t want to mess this up, so bad.” “I know, Twilight,” he said in a subdued tone, putting a soft paw on her forehead. “It’s just...” “I brought turkey,” Sunset pointed out, pulling out of her bag a whole leg of turkey she’d purloined through some miracle without anyone at the household noticing. “All is forgiven!” Spike barked excitedly, jumping past Twilight and rushing up with a high pitched grumble, to weave hungrily around Sunset Shimmer’s legs.