//------------------------------// // Vacillation // Story: Binding of Isaac: Beyond // by IAmNotSmartest //------------------------------// Isaac sat down in the chariot, as far from the edge as he could be without touching the other passengers. He’d drawn his legs up to his chest and yelped the moment it had taken off, the rushing, shrinking ground beneath him startling the child. It wasn’t so much the height that he was startled by, but the idea of falling all that way that terrified him. It was ever so slightly worse than the hop into the basement. The gaping void that was the sky above him was hardly better. He saw Cadence give him a worried glance, but he looked back down to the chariot’s floor, shying away from her slightly. They were taking him somewhere far away, north. ‘The Crystal Empire’, they’d called it. It was supposed to be a place of beauty, a place long sealed from the world, only recently released. The ponies living there would be more open to accepting him; they had a lot to accept as of late. So he was told. Even so, he knew little of what to expect. He’d gathered that Cadence was royalty, and Shining was her spouse, but he didn’t know exactly where he’d fit in. Adopted orphan? Charity case? A prisoner on parole? He wasn’t certain which he’d prefer. They’d all leave him in a rather uncomfortable position, regardless. Still below, from the edge of his vision he could see the ground changing from mountainous foliage to rolling green hills. The air grew colder, the wind bit harder, but he said nothing. Punishment of this caliber hardly bothered him, psychologically, but instinctively, he began to shiver. Cadence took notice of this. She nudged her husband, gesturing to Isaac. I’m right here. I can see you doing that. It’s not as if I don’t understand. Shining unfastened his cloak, and offered it to the child with a small smile. Isaac looked at the steel-grey cloak, then at the unicorn. Warmth he would likely need. Kindness he did not deserve. He put a hand out to grab it, but retracted it midway. Shining either did not notice, or pretended not to; the pony tossed the cloak around the boy’s shoulders. Isaac murmured his thanks, looking down at the floor again, reddening with embarrassment. He didn’t have to do that. This isn’t something I should have. Still, he pulled the monochromatic protector around him close. He was cold, and it was warm. And the gale wasn’t exactly inviting. Isaac jolted awake as the chariot touched-down. He panicked a moment when the refracting sun blinded him, but he calmed when the holy pain he associated with it did not come. Shades of blue, violet and rose blurred in his recovering eyes. He refocused on the floor, forcing himself to look slowly up from the drab surface so he could slowly register the glamorous city before him. * Crystals. Everything refracted, reflected, redirected light from the sun in a spectacular and dazzling display. It all centered in a geometric symmetry around a massive tower which dominated the skyline. The sun was at a perfect peak above it, a picturesque scene of elegant craftsmanship and beauteous mortal creation. I don’t belong here. While he was awestruck by the grandiose structure he’d been presented with, it left him feeling… insignificant. Hollow. Even further alienated from this world he’d been abducted to. He would’ve shrunk back against the back of the chariot if Cadence and Shining were not still there. “It’s a beautiful place, isn’t it?” Cadence asked him. “Y-yeah,” he stammered, shaken from the horrid haze. “Really… bright.” “You haven’t even seen it from inside,” She stepped past him, giving him what he guess was supposed to be an encouraging smile. “Come on. We’re going to take you to the castle.” Isaac stood up, leaning against the edge of the chariot. “There’s… there’d be a lot of others. On the way there.” He was twisting the grey fabric in his hands. I don’t want to be the disruption of this… serenity. “Well, of course. But don’t worry,” She reassured him. “You’ll be with us. You’ll be fine.” He still was no less uneasy, but he hopped off the chariot, mumbling a ‘thank-you’ to the two winged-pony drivers. Isaac fell in line with the princess and her husband, on her left, Shining on her right. Two more unicorn guards, armed with spears, stood on either side of the three of them, and two normal-ponies were at their rear. Being of such a smaller stature than those on either side of him did nothing to calm his accelerating heart. This was their first time seeing him. He had to look good. He had to be perfect. Faultless. Flawless. If he made a single mistake, it would be remembered forever. Marring his reputation. Invalidating his word to the dark non-angel. They headed into the city. Isaac tried his best to look straight ahead, to not look at the faces of those around him, to not allow himself the melancholy of the unfamiliar world around him. Inhale; exhale. Inhale; exhale. Inhale; exhale. Isaac repeated this mantra to shut out the world around him. Ignored the gasps and murmurs of the passerby. Thought only of the next step, next breath, the next beat of his heaving heart. He focused only on the area directly before him. The… crystal roads. He clenched his eyes shut. He kept walking until he felt something touch his chest, startling him out of the monotony. He jumped away from what he saw was Shining’s hoof. The stallion was looking at him expectantly, though the child’s reaction seemed to add some concern to it. “I, uhm…” Isaac trailed off awkwardly. The boy hadn’t heard what he’d said. “Sorry…” “Isaac, we’re here.” Shining repeated. Isaac blinked in surprise, and looked around. They were underneath the tower, in the center of the city. To Isaac’s further impression, there was a shrine in the center of the plaza beneath, over which gently bobbed some kind of turquoise-gem heart. A snowflake-like pattern flourished outward from the center, glowing with a gentle white-blue light. He felt an overwhelming sense of peace emanating from it, his own heart slowing in pace as it synchronized itself with that of the shrine’s ebb and flow. It was… relaxing. Not to the point where he would call himself calm, but it helped. He heard Shining call him again. The child looked over to him; the unicorn was gesturing for the boy to follow them inside. Isaac stole away one last glance at the heart, and, almost reluctantly, pursued his… them, up and around a wide spiral staircase to one of the main halls. The interior of the citadelic structure was as impressive as the exterior, though with the added benefit of a lack of blinding from refracted sunlight. Aside from the crystalline structure, the high-quality tapestries and chandeliers, both of which far surpassed the more cathedral-reminiscent palace he’d arrived in, gave this place an air of calculated elegance, perfected craft and perfect nature. Isaac felt insignificant beneath the enormous arches that towered above him, the gaping windows that loomed over him in the slight concavity of the outside wall. “What do you think?” Cadence asked him. Isaac was about to reply, but she continued, “The view is wonderful.” Isaac looked out of the window. Much of the area was in the shadow of the tower, leaving no blinding glares, but casting a looming shadow over the area in their stead. The buildings were far more intimidating for the lack of light, their edges sharper, their colors darker. And the distant horizon, the sky stretching into an infinite, boundless, endless… Abyss. Isaac looked away. “I-it looks nice.” he lied. It’s… I can’t… I don’t like it. It makes me feel so... small. Cadence gave him another smile, then motioned with her head for him to follow. The group continued down the corridor, Isaac doing his best to appear calm while avoiding the view outside. The Princess and her husband were speaking in a relative whisper, but Isaac could glean their uncertainty from their tones. Second thoughts. Doubts. He’d known it wouldn’t last long, Isaac had been hugely optimistic, too expectant of their kindness, but that was more so a mistake on his part than theirs. I’m out of place, the single smear on a perfected painting. I shouldn’t even- His introspective insecurities were interrupted by a clearing throat. The child’s daze left him once again looking at concerned faces without knowing the cause for their troubled expression. He shrugged wordlessly, face reddening. “Do you like it?” Shining repeated. He seemed more annoyed this time, compared to the entrance. “Like…?” Isaac looked at what he had gestured to. He stepped into the open door, taking in the surprisingly normal-sized room. The window, curtains drawn, faced a brighter side of the city, though the angle of the light prevented it from refracting directly within. It had a fairly large bed, with large, elaborate drapes like those he’d seen in his mother’s room. A dresser with a mirror of carved crystal was opposite the bed, and next to it was a simple, well-used wooden desk, though it seemed a bit high for him. There was a small box at the back corner of the room, similar to the desk in appearance. After lingering on it for a moment, Isaac forced himself to ignore it. It actually reminded him a great deal of his old room, aside from the resplendence of the material, and the style of bed. The room he had before it was all taken away. Isaac turned to the two of them. He gave a small smile, though he was repressing his reminiscent unhappiness it brought about. “I like it. Thank you.” Cadence managed to pick up on his true feeling, or at least his discomfort regarding the furnishing. “We could get rid of that if you’d like.” Isaac shook his head. *“Can… can I go to sleep?” He rubbed his eyes to feign tiredness, in actuality rubbing away the forming tears. No, no, this is… I don’t deserve… This is too much. I shouldn’t have any of this. “Do you need anything else?” The princess asked. He shook his head. She gave him a kind smile. “We’ll be back in a little while. Ask the guard if you need anything.” Cadence and Shining stepped out of the room, leaving Isaac to himself. He climbed up on the bed, with a little difficulty. The child flopped on his back, not even bothering to unclasp the cloak. This was too much for him to take in. Too much to have. And infinitely more than he deserved. He drew his legs up to his chest, facing away from the sunlight. It was exhausting to pretend he could ever accept such a charity. Even more so to appease his benefactors, when he didn’t even want what they were presenting to him. This whole place was beyond him. He was not worthy of this… picturesque tranquility. He was a fault, forced into place. An aberration, against all asinine abstractions. He does not belong. This world insists on this. Why does no one else see? Why do the fight so hard against the fact? He knows it. He knows how it feels, how could they? To have a hole in the heart, be a fish out of water; a square peg in a round hole, a puzzle piece that does not fit? They have always known their world, their people, their reality. Isaac did not. All he knew was his world, long gone, and his hell, which haunted him still. Such a stark contrast was so obvious, so clear- as evident as contrast between the Polaroid and the Negative. They did not know how he felt. And he could never show them, for they would not understand. Isaac slept.