“And that’s how Equestria became the country it did today,” Twilight finished. She was both excited at the chance to give, and proud that she had completely remembered this lesson. She looked out the window of the train and saw the city gate rapidly approaching. “Any questions?”
“Uh… Yeah, so, I basically got that the tribes were at war, then they made up,” Paul started. “And after that, they moved to Equestria and Celestia and Luna took over. Discord happened, Nightmare Moon happened, Luna's back, no big events since then, now we’re here.”
“But you missed all of the details!” Twilight exclaimed. “For instance, did you remember that in Celestia’s Bedchambers 18 years before the Nightmare Moon Incident, her wall decorations included--”
“Twilight,” Paul cut off. “I'm not a history buff. I don't mean to disappoint or anything, but I do not have the ability to simply retain information like that. I can't just remember any information you throw at me, to recall later at a moment’s notice.”
“Oh, ok,” she responded, a little dejected.
“Hey now, chin up! We’re almost there!” Paul said, trying to cheer her back up. He pointed out through the window. “Look, there’s the train station.”
Twilight looked up and saw the platform. “Yep, now let's go see the Princesses,” she said, slowly gaining back her enthusiasm.
As they exited the train, Paul drew some stares from many ponies, all of which gave him and Twilight a wide berth. He soon forgot them though as his eye and his thoughts were drawn to the buildings of the city.
“It's almost like Ancient Rome or Greece,” he thought. “Everything is made of marble.”
The pair continued walking through the streets towards the large castle. At one point, Paul turned to ask Twilight a question. This time he chose one with a presumably shorter answer.
“So how do you know the Princesses?” He asked.
Twilight looked at him and smiled, as if at a happy memory. “Oh, I was Princess Celestia’s personal student before I moved to Ponyville.”
Paul was pleased about guessing right in that he didn't get another lecture as an answer to a simple question.
“That's nice,” he commented as they passed the entrance guards and entered the main gates. “I'm sure that you had a great time with that.”
“Oh, yes,” she answered. “I couldn't tell you I much I always looked forward to lessons with the Princess. I was always eager to learn.”
“I've noticed,” Paul stated bluntly.
Twilight didn't seem to catch the intent of the statement and continued walking through the hallways and towards the throne room. The two walked the rest of the way in silence, keeping their thoughts to themselves.
They soon arrived at the doors to the throne room. One of the guards acknowledged them.
“Ms. Twilight,” he said as he nodded to her. “It's nice to see you again.”
Twilight looked at him, her brow creased, trying to remember the identity of this guard. She suddenly sighed.
“Hello, Golden Lance,” she acknowledged, sounding exasperated. “How have you been?”
“Oh, Twilight, I'm hurt!” He said over dramatically. “I thought that I was your favorite guard?”
“Please stop, we’re here to see the Princesses, Lance. If you want to talk, you'll have to wait,” she said as she walked past him and into the throne room. Paul followed suit quickly, not sure what to think of the eccentric guard.
When Paul entered, he looked past Twilight to the room he had entered. The throne room was beautiful. There were a dozen or more stained glass windows running the length of the room on either side. At the end was a set of stairs leading up to where two thrones sat.
The one on the left was made of the brightest gold, studded with rubies the border, a magnificent amethyst crowning it. The one on the right was more simplistic. It was made of ornate silver and had decently sized opals at each corner, a large sapphire at the head.
Occupying the thrones were the two beings that had visited him in the hospital just a day before.
“Hello Princesses,” Twilight greeted across the empty hall.
“Greetings, Twilight,” Celestia returned, as did Luna. “What is the reason for your visit? And I see that you have brought our friend along with you.”
“Yes, he seems to have a… problem, so I brought him to see you.”
“And what might that problem be?” Luna asked.
“I want to go home,” Paul interjected.
“Don't get me wrong, this place seems great. From what I've seen, I think I'd love it here. But it's not home.” He admitted, trying not to seem ungrateful.
“My life on Earth may not have been perfect-- hah, I wouldn't even have called it great, nice maybe, but not great,” Paul looked up at both rulers, straight into their eyes. “But it was mine. I didn't love it, and it sure as heck did not love me. But still, it's all I've known, so if there’s any way for you to send me home, I would appreciate it.”
“I see your issue,” Celestia said. “We will do what we can to search for a spell to get you home, but it may take some time. Before my sister and I begin however, let us have dinner. It's already nearing time to set the sun.”
“Of course, thank you for your kindness,” Paul said, trying not to seem too hopeful at this chance to get home.
Despite his hope, Paul couldn't help but thinking. “But what are my chances of actually making it home?”
“It is our pleasure,” answered Luna.
The group of four exited the throne room, making their way to the dining room.
<<<==>>>
When they arrived, they found long wooden table which filled the hall, ornate seats lined up around it.
“Please, sit,” Celestia invited. Paul and Twilight both sat down at the table opposite Luna and Celestia, so as to easily conversate during the meal.
A group of waiters came to take orders from the ponies and the human.
Celestia and Twilight ordered salads with hay fries, while Luna ordered pasta with a vegetable medley.
“And for you, sir?” His waiter asked.
Paul had been thinking about the most convenient way to break the whole, ‘I need meat’ thing to the ponies.
“Do you have any,” Paul paused, then cleared his throat before continuing. “Fish?”
“Of course, sir. We have sea bass, salmon, and trout. Which would you prefer?”
“I'll take he salmon please,” Paul answered.
“An excellent choice, sir. I must ask, do you prefer it cooked or raw?” The waiter asked.
“Cooked, please,” Paul answered gratefully.
“Of course, sir. Your meals will be right out,” the waiter said before he left.
“Fish is an interesting choice,” Luna stated. “Not eaten very often here in Equestria.”
“Oh, yeah. About that,” Paul said. “Yeah, I kinda… eat meat.”
“Wait, really?” Twilight asked, not as scared as Paul had thought she'd be. In fact, she seemed more concerned for him than anything. “Why didn't you say sooner? You must be very protein-deficient. The hospital had only been giving you salads hadn't they?”
“Yeah, I didn't say anything because I was kind of uncaring at that point,” Paul answered. “I was not at my most logical then, but it's too late for that.”
“Yes, let us move on to other topics,” Celestia said. “Such as how you arrived in Equestria, or what your former place of residence was like.”
“Oh, well then let's start with a general overview of human history,” Paul said. “Alright, so people started out as nomads, a group of them settled down, more and more settled down, they formed civilizations, then more civilizations rose up, some more rose, others fell. That went on for awhile, one group of people started a bloody war with another group, rinse and repeat, oh… I'd say a thousand times? Five thousand times? It wouldn't surprise me if it was more. Anyways, like I said, rinse and repeat. Arrive at modern day. The end.”
“What, that's it?” Twilight asked, looking at him like he was crazy. “That's all you're going to give us? No details? No specifics?”
“Yeah,” Paul answered. “That's about as specific as I can get for most of it up until about two hundred-fifty years before modern day on earth. And you probably wouldn't want specifics anyway. Though out of curiosity, Twilight, how many years of history did you cover on the train ride?”
“One thousand, three hundred thirty seven years,” she answered automatically.
Paul laughed, and when he caught his breath he spoke. “Alright, so, that very specific number of years aside, you covered thirteen hundred years of history in, what five hours? Six hours? Yeah, it took me under thirty seconds to cover three-to-five thousand years of human history.”
Twilight’s mouth gaped and she just stared at him, unresponsive.
“Your home seems to be rather… violent,” Luna commented.
“Yeah, it really was. Hence the whole, ‘rinse and repeat bloody wars thousands of times’ thing,” Paul responded. “If you want, I could go into more detail about what I know.”
“I am hesitant to say yes, but I do not want to say no,” Celestia said.
“I will tell you then,” Paul confirmed. “I will start with World War I then. It started when a political leader from a small country with powerful allies visited another small country with powerful allies. The political leader was assassinated by someone from the second small country.
“This pit the two countries, and therefore each side’s allies, against each other. One side held Germany, Italy, and a few others, while the other held Great Britain, France, and some others. They basically went at each other’s throats and Germany lost after they accidentally got America, the big superpower of the world, involved against them. I'm not sure how many died in this war.
“Foolishly, humans named this ‘The War to End All Wars.’ As stated by the new name, World War I," Paul said, stressing the word ‘one,’ “it wasn't. World War II happened twenty years later or so. It started when a new guy took over Germany and started killing anybody that was handicapped in any physical or mental way, homosexual, fell into a specific religious group, or one of various other things.
“This, along with him taking over nearby countries, got the others involved to take him down. Once again, America was sucked into the war. This time they were attacked even though they chose to remain neutral. And once again, Germany was subsequently beaten. Somewhere between fifty and seventy million died in this war. About eleven million were civilians."
Paul looked at the ponies. They were all shocked and tears ran down their faces.
“Thus, human kind is summed up. War and tragedy,” Paul finished.
“How are you so passive?” Twilight asked. “How can you do that?! You just talked about so many lives being extinguished, and you didn't even change your expression! Do you know how big that number is?! The entire population of Equestria is not even twenty million!"
Paul replied calmly. “Twilight, it's just human nature. It’s how human society teaches us to react. Everyone else I know has this reaction, so this is what I learned to be acceptable. Like I said. Human nature.”
Everypony was at a loss for words. They slowly composed themselves, wiping the tears from their faces.
Dinner arrived soon after, and everyone began to eat.
After a few tense minutes of the silence only broken by utensils hitting the plates, Luna decided to speak up.
“Excuse me,” she asked between bites of her pasta. “But if you don't mind my asking, how did you come to be in our world?”
“Now that has a less violent answer,” Paul stated, setting down his fork.
“So, on earth there’s a work of fiction entitled ‘Star Wars.’ And in this, the main conflict is between the light and dark sides of The Force. The light side consists of the Jedi and the dark side of the Sith.
“Now this isn't really all that important except that I loved the series enough to create a fan fiction story set in the Star Wars Universe with a character I created. I also decided to dress up as that character and attend a preview of the next installment to the series.
“When I got there, some guy was selling a bunch of props, and one of them was this,” Paul pulled out his lightsaber. “It’s just like the mental image I had of my OC’s lightsaber. I bought it from the guy, activated by accident, then wound up here.”
“That is most interesting,” Luna said. “Do you expect that he was a powerful sorcerer to be able to achieve such a feat?”
“I don't know how he did it, but I don't think it was magic,” Paul said. “There’s no magic on earth. The only magic there is in myths and works of fiction.”
At this, Twilight jumped up and almost choked on her food. After some coughing, she finally spoke. “No magic?! How could any civilization not have magic?”
“Humans are technologically gifted instead. In a secondary level engineering class, a group of students can build a robot more technologically advanced than anything seen on this planet,” Paul said. “It will be made of scavenged plywood and held together by copious amounts of duct tape, but still, it will be more advanced.”
Twilight’s jaw hit the floor.
“Oh, but on the topic of the Jedi and Sith,” Paul continued. “They were unique in that they wielded weapons known as ‘lightsabers,’ such as this one,” he held his up once again. “They were also able to harness what is only known as ‘The Force.’ Through this, they were able to use telekinetic powers, mind tricks on weaker-minded beings, and in the case of the Sith, throw lightning.”
“What is so interesting about a ‘lightsaber?’” Celestia asked. “It does not seem to be much more than a tube of metal.”
“Alright,” Paul started, thinking of a way to demonstrate without destroying something valuable.
“So, is there anything here that you wouldn't mind getting ‘accidentally’ destroyed?” He made air quotes on the word ‘accidentally.’
“It is fine, anything you may break can be easily fixed with a repair spell,” Luna said.
“Oh, well then here,” Paul said as he pulled a larger plate from under the one with his meal. “Let's use this.”
Paul held the plate in front of him with one hand, grabbing one of the halves of his lightsaber from his belt and activating it.
“Watch this neat party trick,” Paul said. He slowly cut through the opposite side of the plate, letting pieces fall to the floor and shatter.
The Princesses were amazed by how the blade seemed to melt the glass plate before it even made contact, then left the edges of the slices molten and bubbling.
When Paul was done, he deactivated the blade and put it away. Twilight cast the repair spell and the plate reformed out of the shards on the ground before she replaced it under his other plate.
“And trust me,” Paul said, sitting back down in his chair. “It cuts through a lot more than that.”
He received a nod from Twilight. “He cut through a full grown tree with a single strike!”
“Most impressive,” Luna commented. “I can see how these Jedi and Sith might be seen as powerful warriors. And by extension, you yourself must be. Correct?”
Paul shook his head and laughed. “Me? Oh, no. I had these powers thrust upon me. I'm not naturally a Jedi. No, I've only used this blade in combat once, and barely survived by pure chance. I'm certainly no skilled warrior.”
“A shame,” Luna sighed under her breath.
“Pardon, I didn't catch that Princess. What did you say?” Paul asked.
“Hmm? Oh, nothing. Just thinking aloud,” she answered.
“Well, it has gotten rather late, hasn't it,” Celestia said, gesturing towards one of the windows. “Perhaps it would be best if the two of you stayed the night and took an early train to Ponyville tomorrow?”
“I could certainly use a shower,” Paul said. “So I think that I'll be fine as long as I get that and a nice, soft bed.”
“Ah, yes,” Luna said, a small smile forming on her face. “We didn't want to say anything of your odor.”
“Oh, ha ha,” Paul said sarcastically. “Make jokes at the expense of the new guy. I see how it is.”
“Yes, We could smell you from here,” Luna continued. At this point she was struggling to control her laughter.
“Yeah, yeah. I get the point,” Paul said, smiling. Then he continued in a mock-snobbish voice. “If I could be shown to my room now, I think that I shall retire for the evening.”
As a castle servant escorted him from the room, Paul bowed to the Princesses and left with a flourish.
<<<==>>>
Paul followed the servant through the hallways and corridors towards his room for the night.
The whole way, all he could think about was his family and his home.
His dad, who always told Paul how much he loved him, but couldn't seem to find the right way to show it.
His mom, who was always there when he needed her. Be it for homework help, a place to crash for the night, or a pick-me-up.
His brother Elijah, the science geek. Always running some sort of janky experiment or another, but still the little brother he loved.
His sister Susan, the successful business woman. First in the family to complete college. She was always happy to help him out of a tight spot or two involving money issues.
His grandfather, a cooky, funny, old man with random nuggets of wisdom he would impart on people’s lives.
And finally, his girlfriend Angela. They had been dating for a year and a half now, and they had been considering renting an apartment together. What Paul loved about her was that she saw him for who he was, and she still loved him, despite his flaws.
Paul had actually been wanting to ask her parents if he could ask her to marry him, but he hadn't found a good time yet.
Paul was broken from his musings when he heard the servant clear his throat. Paul looked up and noticed that he had passed the pony when he stopped at one of the doors.
“I'm sorry, I was lost in thought,” Paul said.
“Not a problem, sir,” the pony answered with an English accent.
Paul thanked the pony and entered the room.
He immediately made for the bathroom where he turned on the shower before locking the door and stripping his clothes off.
He stepped under the hot water and let it pour down his back, soothing his muscles, still stiff from a week of not moving.
He stood there for an hour or so, just letting the water cascade down his back.
Once he was done, he got out and found the towels on a rack. He grabbed one and began drying himself off. After he finished, he only put his boxers back on.
Paul took his pants and laid them over the foot board to put on in the morning, then he got into the bed and laid down under the covers and began to drift off into sleep.