//------------------------------// // Entry XIV: The Angel and The Magician, by Siftstone // Story: Kildeez and Sifty's Shameless Self-Insert Adventures in Equestria! // by kildeez //------------------------------// There was a chill in the air as I drifted into a state of awareness. The world shifted from a dull grey to bright, pastel color, as my mutant eyes adjusted to the environment. The thing I was laying on was irresistibly soft, and brought a sense of longing from a time long past. I was in a home, surrounded by woodland creatures, all peacefully asleep. Though the sun was eternally blotted by the unnatural clouds brought upon by the crisis, I could tell that it was night. An idle shiver made me realize that I was stripped of my equipment. My gloves, jacket and assorted armor pieces lay neatly folded on a table across from me, my weapons all arranged by size along the far wall. The gash in my leg was barely noticeable as I shifted off the couch. Pulling up my pantleg from a seated position, I took note of the heavy bandaging around my leg. Standing fully, there was no pain. I stretched, and the cracking of my bones must have roused something in the home, as I saw something quickly dart across the floor and up a set of stairs in the dark. Taking in my surroundings in full, it hit me, then; I was in Fluttershy's cottage, at the edge of town. Focusing my vision, I noticed three distinct little shapes in the darkness, wrapped up to one-another. The fillies. Fluttershy did have strong wings when she wanted to. The girl has saved my life by dragging my ass out of the forest before. Some things never change... Girl was my personal field medic. There was nary an injury she couldn't help me fix. Oh, that girl was far too good to me- Shaking my head, I focused on putting my equipment back on. Just as I had finished sliding my silver blade into it's sheathe, a brightness in my peripheral made me whirl around. Coming down the steps, with a lantern clutched in her mouth, was Fluttershy. She looked into the darkness for a moment, and I briefly willed my eyes to flash a yellow glow. Fluttershy squeaked, startled, and dropped her lantern. With a chuckle, I stepped forward, into the light. "Sifty...?" "Aye, Flutters." Hardly a moment passed before the pony was rushing to slam a hug into me. My reflexes kicked in and I spaced my feet, bracing myself, so as not to get knocked over. I returned the girl's embrace, gingerly. The scent in her mane was familiar. Soothing. Calming. Even as rough as she was from who-knows-what, she still retained that innocence that drew my caring for her in the first place. Lowering myself to a knee, I looked the pony in her sweet, aqua eyes, idly moving a lock of her mane from her face. "It's been a long time, little one." "Too long, Sifty!" The pony tearfully eked out, before tucking her head into the crook of my neck. She began to sob. "First you left, then everything went wrong, and just so recently, I lost Angel Bunny, and, and..." With a sigh, I brought a hand up and gently soaked her silky, pink mane, running the knots out between my fingers, taking care not to jab the pony with the bear claws jutting out of my knuckles. My other hand pressed her close, and I took note of just how tense the girl was. As she sobbed into my shoulder, I carefully shifted my legs until I was sitting with my legs crossed, lowering the pony down gradually the entire time, until her head was resting in my lap. "Wolves asleep, amidst the trees..." My voice came out. Soft, soothing. On the road for as long as I was, I learned to sing a number of songs. Fluttershy, tears still flowing, perked up her ears. I could hear animals all around the cottage shift in their sleep. "Bats all a-swayin', in the breeze... But one soul lies anxious, wide awake... Fearin' all manner of ghouls, hags and wraiths... For my darling pony, sleep has flown, Don't dare I let her tremble alone, For the Witcher, heartless, cold, Paid in coin of gold... He comes, he'll go, leave naught behind, But corpses and blows... Deep, deep blows..." It was at this point, Fluttershy had stopped sobbing. Her crying had diminished to little more than an occasional sniffle, but she had clamped her eyes closed. She nuzzled her face into my stomach, pulling herself up a little bit more. The fillies were awake, as well, staring at me from the side, silently. All the animals in the cottage were fully awake, now, and eyed me with a mixture of intrigue and drowsiness. I continued my lullaby. "Birds all silent for the night, Cows turned in as daylight dies, But one soul lies anxious, wide awake... Fearin' all manner of ghouls, hags and wraiths... Now my darling pony, shut your eyes, Lie still, lie silent, utter no cries, For the Witcher, brave and bold, Paid in coin of gold... He'll chop, and slice, and cut, and dice, Keep safe your world..." The whole time I was singing to her, I was stroking Fluttershy's head, occasionally brushing my bear claws through her mane like a comb. She had stopped crying, and finally looked up at me, her mane restored to it's springy, healthy glory. "Sifty..." "Ssshh. It's okay, now, little pony. I'm not planning on going anywhere." "I missed you." "I know. I realize that I've missed you too. But don't bring yourself to tears again, sweetheart." Fluttershy and I talked for a long time. The fillies took the opportunity to listen to me explain myself; my mutations, my adventures as a Grey Warden, as a Witcher, and my newfound shouting powers that they witnessed in the forest. Then I told them about Kildeez, my partner, and how we were separated. There was more at work here than simple Nightmares and portals, but whatever it was, it had not followed me to Ponyville. "Now, Flutters. Tell me why it is that you're such a mess? Your mane was so knotted, you're covered in dirt... this isn't just from one trip to the forest, love. It's as if you've not had a chance to yourself in ages." "Ohh... Twilight told me to save as many creatures from the forest as I could. I've been so busy saving little ones, I simply haven't had time to wash up..." "I'll help when I can. I thank you for patching me up, sweet thing. However, I need to get going. There are still things I need to take care of-" I said, while standing and moving towards the door. "Wait! Don't go outside!" "Why not?" "My cottage is at the very rim of town, so Zecora's shield against the Nightmares isn't as strong. They can't get inside my home, but I've seen them, waiting outside, just past the treeline. Night after night, waiting for me to make a mistake." I smiled, gently. "There is no longer a Nightmare alive that can best the Champion of Equestria, my dear." I announced, proudly. "...But for your sake, I'll spend the night. I have to take the fillies back into town, anyway." Trotting back over to Fluttershy, I barely hesitated in picking her up and pulling her over my shoulder, to which she squeaked in response. "Eep! Sifty! What are you doing?" "Fluttershy, you're a mess. You fixed me after I performed my usual stupidity while saving you, so, please, sweetheart, allow me to repay you in full." I worked through the night, cleaning Fluttershy up. Her face was a constant, beet red, but by the time I was done, her coat had her distinct shine back in it. The animals helped me keep her wings preened, and the fillies helped me comb and brush her mane and tail in a better way than what I did with my claws. By the time the team was done, Fluttershy was restored to the level of immaculate beauty that would make Photo Finish explode. Light was shining through the windows, and Fluttershy let out a long yawn. "I think I should get some rest, Sifty... I don't think It'll be so hard to save the animals, now that the Nightmares know you're back." "Aye, pretty. Get some sleep. We'll see each other again soon." With that, I was off again. I locked Fluttershy's cottage behind me, with the fillies passed out on my shoulders and head. Just before I left, I swiped a few trap signs into the dirt near Fluttershy's cottage, in case I didn't come back before night- give those stalking Nightmares a bit of a shock. Bastards. I traveled the road into town, keeping pace with the rising sun's bare amount of light, punching through the gloom. Though the sun would not shine on Ponyville until this war was over, there would still be a light for these ponies to look for in the morning. I was a knighted champion of the goddamned sun goddess, for fuck's sake! These Nightmares might fear the sun, but soon, oh soon, will they never wish my glowing eyes to be closer. Twin suns, spelling doom for their race, and all they have wrought. The whole of Ponyville was still down and under, in the thralls of sleep. I passed Zecora's mixing pot, and thus knew I was in the middle of town. My first stop was at Carousel Boutique, where I gently pushed the unlocked door open, ignoring the "closed indefinitely" sign on the door. There, unconscious on the chaise, was Lady Rarity, surrounded by tissues and notes. Notes from Sweetie Belle, marked ages ago. The girl was going insane without her little sister. I kept my face neutral to avoid letting any emotions of a fonder period of time pull me from my goal. Gently, to avoid rousing her, I took the sleeping Sweetie Belle off my shoulder and nestled her under Rarity's leg. Rarity seemed to pull her closer to herself, on instinct. Before I left, I noticed that the entirety of the staircase to the upstairs room was boarded up. The scent of iron hit me then, and as I got closer to investigate, my medallion began to tug on it's chain, causing me to step away. This must be what that other contract on the board mentioned. As it seemed, my targets were contained. I had other priorities. Leaving the boutique in the same ghostly silence I entered, I made my way towards Sweet Apple Acres. Despite everything, the Apples had kept their apple trees healthy. Bright, ruby-red apples grew high and well, despite the cold and near-constant lack of true sunlight. A set of mare's hoofprints in the mud led me to the barn, where Applejack was out cold atop a hay pile, her hat solemnly pulled down over her eyes. Again, with exceeding gentleness, I lifted Apple Bloom off my other shoulder, gently placing her on Applejack's exposed stomach, before pulling AJ's hat off and placing it on Apple Bloom's head. Scootaloo was still on my head, and she and I began our journey to Rainbow's cloud home. It was a long walk. I idly wondered how I would be able to slip Scootaloo into Rainbow's hooves before she woke up. As we made out way through town and across the pink orchard, I found that the question had answered itself with the brightening sky. Scootaloo drifted awake from a rare beam of sunlight striking her face, and when she saw Rainbow's cloud home, she was immediately fully awake. "Hey, Champ... I'm not just having a dream, here, am I?" "Nah, kid. Go up there and see your hero. Don't let her know I'm back, and try not to wake her up." "Alright, I won't! Scout's honor!" Scoots began, before launching off my head and darting into Rainbow's house. With a deep sigh, remembering the adventures I had with the rainbow pegasus that was so close, I turned and began my march back to the bounty board. There was no time for happiness. Not now. Not yet. There were lives that needed saving. Things that needed doing. Proper returns need a big entrance, goddammit! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ I snatched the "Missing" bounty off the board. There was a picture of a mare- couldn't tell the colors, but my memories served me well. I remember her; blue coat, a toothpaste mane, and that fucking wizard's hat she always wore. Bit of an arrogant bitch, she was, but she calmed down a long time ago. She helped me slay my first Nightbeast. My eyes scanned over the contract. "I formally request that anypony able-bodied and capable locate and confirm the survival of my old rival, Beatrix Lulamoon- otherwise known as Trixie, the magician. I am well aware that most ponies in this town will find this request to be bothersome, that one should not waste time and talents on a pony that griefed this town twice over, but she is a changed mare. She is also one of my good friends. With the crisis, we need to stick together, not draw apart over pettiness that is best left buried in the past! Trixie knows this better than anypony. She was heard of near the Clock Tower, where she was performing a show before the last portal storm caused her to flee. She has not reported in, and I worry for her. Signed, Princess Twilight Sparkle" With a huff, I rolled up the contract and tucked it into one of the loops on the front of my journal. Drawing my steel blade, Stormbringer, from my back, I observed it briefly. A heavy bastard sword, with a leather wrap around the blade, just above the rain guard. The blade itself was unremarkable, save for the three glowing runes etched length-ways onto the blade. All three runes brought the blade it's name; one halves it's weight in inclement weather, another causes lightning to occasionally strike where I swing, and the third- well, I still didn't know. The swordsman who gifted me the blade said that I would know when the time was right. Sheathing my blade, I began my march towards the clock tower. The clock tower and a few pony homes were positioned in a small nook of the forest, away from the main part of the town, and the road there straddled the river Fluttershy lived across from. A check of my watch told me that it was around eight-thirty, and I had just enough light to function. Some ponies were already out and about, cleaning up Ponyville as best they could. They seemed to have some buzz in their movements, though. As they caught sight of me down the road, they immediately dropped what they were doing. "Champion!" I heard from one, in the distance. "The Champion of Equestria! He really is back!" "Haven't you heard? He found those three missing fillies!" "I heard he shouted so loudly, he turned a bunch of Nightmares into butter! He saved the Element of Kindness!" "Aye, good ponyfolk, I'm back. Perhaps you can lend your old hero a hand- err... hoof?" I replied to them, with a smile. A stallion with an hourglass mark trotted up to me. "What assistance can I offer you, champion?" "Beatrix Lulamoon. Trixie, as you might know her. I heard she was performing here to brighten the mood before a portal storm knocked everybody out of order. You wouldn't happen to have seen where she went?" "Oh, her? I was attending to my own business, near that call box across the way, but when the storm appeared overhead, I had to plug my ears because of this unnatural scream. When I finally stopped cringing, she was gone." "Thanks, uh..." "Doctor." "Doctor who?" "Just... just call me the Doctor. Doesn't really matter who." "If you say so, boss man. Thanks for the help." I nodded to the stallion, and scribbled a note in my journal. Black Gorger? Nightmare Changeling? No, Nightmares couldn't get close to town, and Gorgers didn't like crowds... what the bloody hell else could possibly scream so loudly? When I approached the stage, I noticed that there were hoofprints all over the front, as is natural if someone were giving a show. There were sunk into the mud, from the crowd. As I examined them, another pony showed up from behind. Her voice caught me off guard. "Sifty?" "...Octavia. Hello." "It has been a long time. You look... different." "Aye. It's a long story. I'm sure I'll get the chance to tell everyone, at some point. Were you here when Trixie disappeared?" "Yes, I was. I was waiting for Trixie to perform her show, and I would have taken the stage to play my bass. I've been doing it since the troubles started; Vinyl hooked up amplifiers, so that all of my music could reach the town and soothe everypony." "Smart. Tell me, girly; you see anything before Trixie went ka-poof?" "As she was readying herself to perform one of her dazzling fireworks, a portal storm tore open above us. The Princess told us that these would come and go, but we should head for cover when they do. But, as you know, I'm no pegasus or unicorn; and this bass is heavy for just myself. I struggled to move, and then I heard this ear-piercing scream. As I plugged my ears and looked about, I could see several ponies onstage, dragging miss Lulamoon into the forest. The thing is, they all looked... wrong. Their heads were upside down." "What the everlasting fu-" "Language!" "...Buck. Alright, that's worth noting. Thanks, Octy." "It is my sincere pleasure. Now, if you will excuse me, I must return to my preparations. Do you think you will be able to come and see my show?" "If this doesn't take up too much of my time. No promises, love." "So be it." What in the name of all things shit?! Ponies with upside-down faces? In all my day fighting in this land, I haven't fought a damn thing by that description, and nothing in my notes even scratches the surface of what it could possibly be... With a leap, I hopped onto the stage, and almost immediately, my medallion began to tug. Looking around, I noticed a set of drag marks in the wood, leading off the stage and into the forest beyond. The drag marks themselves, however, were not the cause for my medallion to act up- it was instead Trixie's hat, laying on the wood. I put it on my head, for now. Drawing my silver blade, I made my way into the forest. The drag marks went on for a good mile or so, and stopped, abruptly, underneath a tree limb. There was a rope tied around the limb, and a dark shape resting atop it. Before I could investigate further, a shriek hit me, knocking my senses out. I barely held my ground, wrenching my grip on my sword, as I looked around in a daze. The shape atop the limb seemed to startle awake, and cling to the tree limb for dear life. My ears were still ringing, my vision was blurred, but I could tell a number of shapes approaching from the forest itself. Sheathing my sword and plugging my ears, I took note of my aggressors. They were like ponies, but they were incredibly fucking wrong- and I could see why Octy took note of their upside-down faces. Their spines were pulled forward, and their heads hung loosely down. Each of them had a rope strung around their neck, some of them rotted, but every shape- at least ten, in total- had a rope, tied in the hangman's knot. I drew my silver blade, but as I did, another shriek hit me- and I lost the strength in that arm. The creatures got closer, and I began to take in their scent. They were most certainly dead. Zomponies, I thought. Possible remains of those few ponies outside Ponyville that just couldn't live anymore. Crooked Carcasses. I tried once more to grab my blade, but failed as another shriek hit me. Perhaps a Sign? Before I could cast my shielding magic, I was struck again, which threw me off balance and to my knees. The creatures got closer and closer. Blast it all, I wish I could move faster! Draw my blade and strike before they could let out that goddamn scream! Fucking hell, I need to invest in some earplugs... Air. A word echoed. I understood it as "air", but I didn't hear it as such. I heard "Su"- which caught me strangely. Even stranger than wondering about air in the middle of possible death. Air... wind was fast. "Run like the wind," I used to scream to Rainbow Dash, back in the day. Wind was fast. Rainbow was fast. I needed to be fast. Battle. Another word echoed, but it did not echo in my mind. Nay, I felt the word within my being. Battles were fast, strong and hectic- and I have personally been in many battles. There's nothing slow about a skirmish. Why does that strike me, now? Why do these thoughts choose to echo, at this very moment? There, again- the word I heard was not "battle", but "Grah", as it sounded. Grace. Grace, finesse. Witchers are trained to hit hard and fast, and thus, our natural reflexes and speed went beyond that of a regular warrior. We were taught to fight with an inhuman grace, to use our blades like they were part of us. Another word, hitting me. Another meaning. Another language. "Dun". Air. Battle. Grace. Su. Grah. Dun. Su! Grah! Dun! "Su-GRAH DUN!" I found myself shouting, a blastwave echoing out from around me, rivaling the screams of the carcasses surrounding me. My arms felt... lighter. Adrenaline flowed almost unnaturally. There were waves of white, flowing up and around my arms, as if magically giving me a boost to my speed. I could hear it, then- the carcasses were taking a breath, getting ready to scream- But I didn't let them. With unnatural speed, I snatched the silver sword off of my back and spun in a wicked circle, my blade singing as it sliced through air and flesh alike. Hell, Aerondight's blade even seemed to glow from the heat generated by such an incredibly fast swing. My breath let out from me, standing in a squatted position, with my blade out to my side, still dripping with fresh blood, steaming with heat, white air twisting around the blade and back up my arm. Then, the blood came. The wounds my furious wind inflicted on the carcasses seemed to unzip, their heads falling one by one, counterclockwise, like my spin. They all dropped, and they could scream no more. "My, my, has the Champion learned a bit of magic in his time away from us?" That voice. Somewhat snooty, but trying not to be. Said with a smugness only attained over a long life of con artistry, but almost restrained with hopes of a gentler future. I turned to face Miss Lulamoon, still clinging to the tree branch she was earlier. She had a rope around her neck, the same one that was tied to the branch. "Trixie. I'm glad you're alive. I actually had a contract out to find you-" "Of course I'm alive! The Great and Apologetic Trixie would never let a bunch of filthy undead do her in! But, uh... I'm... quite tired, Champion." "I can hear it. Mind telling me exactly what happened?" "How much do you know?" I told her of my investigation, and she explained that she had been getting stalked by these beings the whole time she was in Ponyville, as if she was a very specified target. When they dragged her into the forest, still conscious but unable to fight back, they strung a rope around her neck and tried to lynch her, while also pulling on her legs. She had just enough strength to kick them off, and used her magic to hoist herself onto the tree. The creatures continued to torment her, almost always denying her sleep so that she would eventually pass out and hang herself as she fell from her branch, always screaming so she could never focus her magic enough to pull the rope free. "By the moon. Alright, girly, you can sleep easy, now." "Tell me about it. Do you have any idea how relieved I am to see your face? I won't have to keep watch at my back anymore..." "Nobody will." "...And give me my hat back!" My shout's enhancement had died down long ago, and I cut the rope from Trixie's neck before pulling her onto my shoulder. She swiftly fell asleep as I marched out of the forest, finding myself back in town after a brief walk. I kept my walks to the back roads- I tried to avoid attention from my old friends as much as I could. They would see me again, soon. Each of them. All of them. But there was work to be done, lives to be saved. An idle hand squeezed my medallion, and memories flowed in. Happiness would simply have to wait.