I was waiting by the door when the sun came up. I knew any second now a guard would knock on the door and escort me to Celestia. I could’ve found her myself easily enough. After raising the sun, she likes to have a light breakfast in her private study while she looks over her daily schedule. Routines are important to her, kind of like Twilight. The difference is that Celestia is in charge of her routines; for Twilight it’s the other way round.
At last the knock came. I turned the handle, swung the door open, and froze.
Celestia stood there, looking down at me with a smile on her face. “Good morning, Spike. Luna said you wanted to see me?”
“Uh… H-hi”
Of all the things I told her, that was the easiest.
---
“—and then I decided to come to Canterlot instead. My dad… He’s… he’s gone. I know it was an accident, but… but I’m glad nobody ever has to worry about him waking up again. I just… don’t know what I am anymore.”
All this time we’d been seated on the floor together. Celestia didn’t move, even though the floor was cold and hard. She didn’t complain. For all I know she didn’t blink. The few times that I looked up into her face, in between marathon sessions of wiping tears away and sniffling, her solemn gaze was fixed on me and nothing else.
“That’s it, I guess.”
She shut her eyes tight for a moment, and tears slid down her cheeks. “I’m so very sorry, Spike. I’m sorry I put you in such danger.”
“Huh? It’s not your fault. I decided to go on my own. Like you said, ponies aren’t allowed there.”
“Yes, but that wouldn’t have stopped me from intervening. Had I known…”
She stood and walked to the window. I’d pulled the curtains open just before she arrived, and mid-morning sunlight was streaming in. She stood there in the light, in a pensive pose I’d seen countless times before just after she’d raised the sun.
Then her head bowed low, and more tears dripped on the ground.
For a moment, my own pain vanished. I ran forward and wrapped my arms around her foreleg. “Please don’t cry! I-I’m okay, really.”
She glanced at me with tear-streaked eyes. “I do this more often than you think. But enough about me, I came here for you.”
“But—”
Magic dried her eyes, and her smile returned. “The most important thing is that you’ve returned safely.”
“No, it isn’t! I get that you didn’t want all this bad stuff to happen to me, but you send Twilight and her friends out on dangerous missions all the time. This wasn’t any different.”
Celestia nodded. “As I said, I do this more often than you might think. The world is full of danger, Spike. It’s full of monsters beyond the comprehension of ponykind. I’ve sent Twilight and her friends after a few, but only in cases where I knew with near-certainty that she was up to the task. For every Discord or King Sombra that she’s faced, I’ve dealt with a thousand worse monsters myself, and I’ll face down a thousand more before consciously putting my subjects, my friends, or my family in mortal danger. Such is the burden of being a ruler of Equestria. Twilight may one day share a greater magnitude of that burden, but not today.”
“Then what about me?”
Her hoof rose off the ground and brushed my cheek. “You and Twilight are, without question, my family. I expect great things from you both, but there is a fine line between pushing one of you to grow and throwing you off a balcony to see if you sprout wings.”
I touched my own wingless back and sighed. “Guess I don’t have to worry about ever having those. If what he said is true, then… then maybe I’m never going to get any bigger. I-I’m not really a dragon at all. I don’t even want to be.”
“What would you like to be?”
I looked into her eyes as I wondered. “I dunno, just… Spike. I’m not a pony, so being a dragon was part of—”
“Then just be Spike. Don’t think of yourself as ‘not a pony,’ or ‘not a dragon.’ Just be Spike: my friend, my family.”
I blushed. “Thanks. What about… later? Am I always going to be so small? I don’t want to turn into a giant, but… I feel like I’m stuck between a kid and an adult.”
Celestia’s gaze drifted to the window. “I don’t know. All of ponykind’s collective knowledge of dragons likely does us little good in this case. All that I know for certain is that I’m the one who… affected your development.”
I looked at my feet. What I wanted to say next sounded so silly in my mind. “I know, but… I’m glad it was you. Even if I’m not a pony, it means you’re kind of… like my mom.”
Something changed in her smile. I could see the muscles in her face struggling to hold the expression instead of whatever emotion my idea gave her. My cheeks burned, and I looked away.
She probably thought it was dumb; there was a reason I never used the ‘mom’ word around her. Sure she’d called me family, but that wasn’t the same as calling me her son. Asking her at all was probably a bad idea, just one last shot at completing my quest and finding a parent.
I opened my mouth to change the subject, but not fast enough. Her forelegs wrapped around me, her head rested on my shoulder, and her wings formed a cocoon that dimmed the sunlight. “I couldn’t be more honored, Spike. I’ve held so many titles over so many years, but never that of mother.”
Another teardrop splashed onto my shoulder as we embraced.