//------------------------------// // Chapter 36 - Errata // Story: The Traveling Tutor and the Royal Exam // by Georg //------------------------------// The Traveling Tutor and the Royal Exam Errata The Canterlot Times office was dead quiet in the darkness of night, with only one pony still inside the cracked and peeling walls. News Flash sat back in the creaky old wooden chair that had been his throne over all he surveyed for the last ten years and regarded the fruits of his kingdom. Copies of the newspapers for the last three months lay scattered across his desk, with red circles and black lines adorning their faces like prostitutes in tacky makeup casting come-hither glances at potential clients, and one massive wedding issue on top like a fat madam presiding over the whole house. The second Royal Wedding and probably the last he would ever see was over, gone, and history, leaving only the normal day-to-day disasters to cover. Circulation number predictions were already trending down and the surplus cash flow that the paper had accumulated over the last few months would only last for so long. The upcoming Royal Foal would help fill the gaps, but a new story was needed to drive the eternal hunger of the fourth estate, some scandal or world-shaking event that would attract attention and bits, but where? “Good evening, News Flash.” The tall form of Princess Celestia filled the doorway to his office, seemingly glowing with an internal light as if there were still a few beams of sunlight trapped inside, or perhaps it simply was the result of seeing so many other ponies happy. Her ethereal mane flowed in a soft wave of pastel colors down her back and the stars seemed to twinkle in her violet eyes as she continued, “May I enter your office, Editor?” much as if she were requesting entry into a foreign diplomatic enclave. “Y-yes,” stammered News Flash. As much as he wanted to sweep the contents of his desk into the trash and offer Her Highness a chair, his trash can was already filled to the brim and there was no chair within a mile or so that could supposedly support the Princess of the Cakeflank, as his paper had referred to her several times. “After having been congratulated so many times by others on my former student’s wedding, I thought it only proper to pass the praise along.” Princess Celestia’s horn began to glow gold and a dusty bottle of cognac floated over to the only free space on his desk. “Congratulations on your Peapony Award for your wedding coverage, Editor. I know it’s a few days before the official announcement, but things are going to get busy again soon, and I thought it best if I deliver my thanks personally.” “Busy?” echoed News Flash. “Actually, things are winding down. Unless you happen to know where Princess Twilight Sparkle and her husband are spending their honeymoon.” He eyed the dusty bottle of cognac and tried to think of how much alcohol it would take to loosen Celestia’s legendary iron resolve. “Would you like a drink?” he offered. “I believe I could accept just one, in the spirit of your achievement, of course.” A pair of glasses lifted from News Flash’s well-used minibar, a small one for himself and a considerably larger one for his considerably larger guest. “As for the location of my former student’s honeymoon, I’m afraid I’ll have to turn you down. We discussed so many locations, and Discord had the honor of making the final choice, so even I don’t know exactly where they went.” News Flash remained silent while he poured the glasses full of shimmering golden cognac, only checking the date on the half-empty bottle when setting it down with a sudden respect for the passage of centuries and the contents of the castle cellars. “But you do have some ideas, correct?” he finally asked. “Maybe.” Celestia lifted her glass and gently touched it against his. “You’re going to have to work to talk them out of me, though. Cheers.” “To friendship,” he said abruptly. “To Equestria, and all that she stands for, and to you, Princess, for all that you do for us.” Celestia smiled and touched the glass to her lips. “That’s a good start.” * ✹ * On a beach in Rio Neigh Janeiro, a young couple sat next to each other, soaking up the sun and measured doses of mojitos and caipirinhas with the restraint one would expect for somepony on an unlimited Equestrian expense account. One lilac alicorn and one scroungy green earth pony, both wearing sunglasses as a token attempt at a disguise, reclined in the beach chairs and observed the antics of a small brown earth pony colt as he frolicked in the waves. An elderly photographer nearby who had been snapping a near constant stream of photos plodded over to the sunbathing couple and nodded his head in a brief bow before speaking. “Your Majesty… Um… Whichever you are. Could you possibly switch to something obviously non-alcoholic? When the pictures run in the Canterlot Times, I don’t think Princess Twilight would be too happy about being portrayed with a daiquiri while pregnant.” The ‘alicorn’ in question lowered her sunglasses and glared at the photographer. “I’ll have you know -hic- that thish dakkery is a virgin. Tell ‘em, Sunny Bear.” “Mom!” The green earth pony ‘stallion’ to her side pushed up her own sunglasses and rolled her eyes. “Celestia’s paying for our entire trip, so the least you can do is act reshponsible. Ressponsible. Like an adult.” Blotter shook his head and returned to his ‘clandestine’ photography of the ‘Royal Couple’ on their ‘honeymoon.’ The sun was warm, the weather in Rio wonderful, Peep Sprout was a great little pony to be around even if he was a changeling, and the photographs he was stacking up were going to make a nice addition to his retirement fund. Things were looking up. ~ ~ ♥ ~ ~ The rattle and clatter of the railroad was music to Steely Resolve’s ears as his private car continued to roar along the tracks, on its way to take him and his guests back to the Royal Empire of Minos. Minotaurs were not known for stealth, but a blocking force of armed guards had kept the curious photographers and newspaper reporters back while his guests had been loaded, and they had remained secluded in the car ever since. The reporters who had managed to wrangle a ticket on the train waited in breathless anticipation for a glimpse of purple or green, but Steely had volunteered his services to pick up meals during the trip, and the reporters could do nothing but write suppositions about what was happening while the mysterious couple was secluded. Steely knew, but he was not telling. Far, far too much kissing and not enough fighting. “Here we go,” Steely announced once the outside door had been closed and the armed guard resumed his post. “Lunch for the Royal Couple. As requested, in addition to the main course of Spinach-Alfalfa Casserole, we have mixed baby carrots, peas, and baby pickled okra for the lovely lady, and a milo pilaf for the gentlestallion.” “Gracias,” said the stallion, sitting his hat to one side and revealing his horn. “My wife and I would like to extend our thanks to you and the Minos Empire again for taking us in.” “As I would also,” said the beautiful ‘alicorn’ to his side. “A year in the majestic Isles of Minos performing on a Royal Tour. You are far too generous.” “Generous?” asked Steely Resolve with a startled blink. “Princess Celestia said she was paying for the whole thing, from Canterlot to Gourgouthakas and back again.” “Oh, really?” Belle Plumè regarded her upcoming tour alongside her husband and smiled. Gambling was illegal throughout the Minos Islands, and the minotaurs were known to be exceptionally generous to dramatic performers. That and the excited flutter of new life tickling her ribs combined to make prospects for the upcoming year molto bene. * ✹ * The Indomitable thrummed under Emperor Ripping Claw with the sound of two out of four of the powerful rockoil-fueled engines purring along like happy fledgelings in the crisp morning air. He had ordered the engineers to take their time on the last two engines, due to his ‘special guests’ who had been slipped onboard with great secrecy and tightened security to the point where only about half of the city had to have seen it. It was a performance worthy of a minotaur opera to see all of the Equestrian press scurry around, trying to get photographs of the purple ‘alicorn’ and her hat-wearing green stallion as they were being loaded along with the pile of Ambassadorial luggage with Princess Luna as an escort. Once they were securely on their way, Crosswind had promptly requested the use of a bathtub to wash out the dye and Papercut had burned the hat to ashes in his magic. Since then, they had been secluded away in their own suite, just the same as Luna and her translator had been tucked into a guest suite, and Ambassador Blueblood and the emperor’s daughter had been placed into their own, but the sounds of shouted interspecies argument came from only one of the three rooms. It’s murder or it’s mating. Ah, and speaking of interspecies mating… “Good day, Emperor.” The sleek alicorn princess who strolled casually down the hallway towards him seemed to be in a good mood, even for an Equestrian. “I take it Ambassador Blueblood and his retinue have not been a problem so far.” “None at all, Ma’am.” Rip smiled along with Princess Luna and fluffed out his chest feathers, taking a quick glance at the somewhat small-seeming protector at his side. “Guard. Leave us. I must have private words with your princess.” “No, Imperator.” The golden-eyed nocturne returned his gaze without blinking, but offered no further clarification. “Very well.” The massive griffon turned back to the Princess of the Night and inclined his head slightly. “I apologize for the engine noises last night, Princess Luna. Something must have broken loose in one of the transmissions, because there was a constant rhythmic thumping that shook the whole airship, along with a high-pitched squeal at times. Just when the noise quit for a while and I thought the engineers had fixed the problem, it would start up again, over and over, all night long.” Pumpernickel blushed almost crimson and coughed into one hoof. “Excuse me, Imperator. I’ll wait at the end of the corridor.” The griffon emperor watched his guard pace swiftly to the other end of the corridor where he turned and stood nearly immobile, much as if he had been turned into a dangerous statue. The emperor turned his impending laugh into a brief chuckle and turned back to Luna. “My apologies, Princess Luna. Your translator seems quite… talented.” “The privacy of your guest rooms seems to be less than advertised, Your Majesty,” returned Luna without a hint of the smile she had been wearing previously. “My hoofmaiden and thy newest guard were commiserating over their upcoming separation in the next room over. It was… distracting.” The emperor waved a claw. “Don’t fret. I don’t plan on keeping him. Once we get to Manehattan and let them get all official over my visit, I’ll assign him back to you. Other national leaders have had the honor before, but he’ll be the first Imperial Guard in history to be assigned to the Equestrian Royal Guard to protect you.” “And so the cycle turns full-circle.” Luna nodded. “From guard to wingmaster and back to guard again. It is acceptable, as long as you fully relinquish your authority over him.” There was a subtext in her words that ran a chill up the emperor’s back. “Have you doubts about your guard’s loyalty, Princess?” he asked, feeling a second chill as her eyes narrowed. “All loyalty has its limits. Tell me, if I were to attack you now, which of us would he fly to defend?” “You.” Luna continued to look the emperor straight in the eye without blinking. “I am proud of my Nocturne, and their loyalty to their oaths, as you should be proud of those who serve you. Even unto death.” Her horn glowed darkly and the rest of the corridor shimmered indigo with the ponies and griffons that he could see frozen in place like statues. “An attack?” Emperor Ripping Claw lifted a furry eyebrow ridge. “And I thought we were friends.” “Friends ask for assistance in their hour of need instead of simply taking advantage of an opportunity.” Her magic glowed again, and a small waxy lump dropped onto the airship decking in front of his claws. “Enough henbane to kill the strongest griffon, wrapped in a paraffin shell that would keep it from dissolving for several hours in crop digestive juices. I conjured it from the crop of your dead guard while he was being taken to his rest.” The resulting silence spoke eloquently. Finally, the emperor sat down on the airship deck with a deep sigh. “Two can keep a secret only if one is dead. You are certain that we are not overheard?” “The privacy spell is one of Twilight Sparkle’s ingenious creations. We are existing in a space several multiples away from normal time as long as it is maintained, which will prevent the watchers from noticing more than a brief squeal and some blurred motion. So…” Princess Luna tapped her hoof on the airship decking. The griffon emperor took a deep breath, looking a little like a drooping haystack. “Soon, I shall die, as all mortal flesh perishes. I have striven all my life to bring order and harmony between all races of the Empire, so that I might proudly fly with my ancestors, and all of my works threatened to turn to shit upon my death.” The griffon paused, as if he expected the immortal Princess of the Moon to interrupt, and after several long moments, she did. “So you ordered your own guard to poison the meal.” It was most certainly not a question, nor an accusation, simply a statement of plain fact. “As well as ordering my longest and dearest friend to ignore any suspicions he had and to prepare it by my direct command. I had hoped that your guard would notice the henbane at the table, or if that failed, that one of the other Equestrians would. I had no idea that Princess Twilight would become involved. Had her unborn chick been poisoned… I would have rather slit my own son’s throat in his sleep.” “And yet, you did.” Luna had not moved a muscle other than the slow flow of her stellar mane. “I have no excuse. The evils we do to bring about good.” “Speak to another of that if you wish sympathy,” said Luna in a perfectly flat tone. “Didst thou also order thy guard to consume the poisoned pellet?” “No.” The griffon’s feathers flattened out until he looked almost ill. “He was loyal to me and to the Empire, despite his distaste for ponykind. Honor forbade him to restrain his blows, but if he were to slay me in combat, he knew of the civil warfare which would follow. One way or another, he would die to protect our Empire. His poisoning and subsequent death would have been taken as a sign from the ancestors. The faction of griffons who despise your kind would have been crushed, and one of my sons who share my views would ascend to the High Nest.” Luna lowered her head and closed her eyes. “Know that I swore by the First Egg, in the Name of the Great Wyrm, that I would find the one who poisoned your people, and that whoever they were, pony, griffon or other, that they would die before me. As an immortal, it is a vow easily bent to the exigencies of convenience, but know that I meant every word. Now, I find it necessary to hide behind mere words when fulfilling my pledge would cause great harm.” Her horn lit up, and the pellet of wax and henbane burst into ebon flames. In moments, it had burned to a faintly discolored patch on the airship decking, and Luna raised her head to fix the emperor with her emotionless gaze. “It is right and proper that the honor of Stellar Screeching was restored with his death. May he soar with your ancestors in the Heavenly Peaks.” “The Empire is in your debt.” The emperor ran a talon through his flattened crest and considered the ponies and griffons in the corridor, still frozen in the dark magic of the Equestrian princess. “Over the centuries, our kind has found itself in debt to yours far more often than many of us are comfortable with. The mighty and powerful griffons, brought low by a simple grazing herbivore on a regular basis. We think ourselves wise because of our martial prowess, but are flung back in disorder and defeat every time we are in conflict. We think ourselves mighty because of our vast nation, but dissolve into chaos whenever we are faced with a challenge.” “And yet, you are there beside us whenever we are in need,” said Luna in a near whisper. “When Canterlot was besieged by a force that ponies could not defeat on their own, your kind swept down in a wave of steel and claws. When my guard slew the corrupted Wingmaster of the Misty Mountains, it was a griffon who stood up and prevented his death in return. Even now, two of your kind have pledged themselves to the Royal Guard, the first of many who will rise up in our nation to defend against the evils which threaten it. It is a long and wind-swept path that our nations fly, to a destination that we may never see, but as long as we fly it together…” “It is better that we fly it with a friend,” finished the emperor. “Goodby, Princess Luna. If I have one regret, it is that we did not know each other longer.” A shadow of the mischievous smile returned to his face. “Someday, ask your sister about her trip to the High Nest when I took the throne. I believe we discussed naming one of our possible hippogriff foals ‘Moonshine’ due to the amount of alcohol we put away that week.” “An acceptable name, for a foal. We shall consider it as well.” Luna bobbed her head almost in a griffon-like manner. “Goodbye, Emperor. May your wings never falter.” “May your flight be swift and true, Princess. Guard well the aerie.” The emperor took one last look down the corridor at the griffons and ponies still seeming to be frozen in Luna’s magic and considered his next words. “One last question before you dismiss your spell. How did you know?” “I did not.” Princess Luna’s smile was almost predatory. “Equestria’s youngest princess and a schoolteacher didst uncover thy scheme. Pass that along to your successor, so that such failures of communication do not happen again.” ~ ~ ♥ ~ ~ Far, far to the north, where the cold winds blow unceasingly outside the magical bubble that protects the Crystal Empire, there was a rather large crystal building filled to the top with books. It was the perfect spot for Equestrian historians to hone their skills on reference material that had been perfectly preserved for over a thousand years, provided they walked past the smaller section at the front of the library where a collection of Daring Do and Prancy Drew novels had begun to infiltrate the ancient tomes. Still, even though the vast majority of the crystal ponies were more than happy to browse through the new books and stand in line to get an autograph from Great and Honorable Spike the Brave and Glorious (Here for a limited time only), there was still a little activity going on up on the fifth floor, seventh stack corridor. “Here we go,” said Green Grass, pointing to the book of historical flora he was browsing through. “The Yaks of YikYakistan had a crystal tree… Oh, wait. It was just ice. And they broke it.” Twilight Sparkle giggled, which made Green Grass’ head bob since he was using her warm belly as a pillow while reading. (It was his turn. They swapped off every hour.) “Don’t be silly, Greenie. We’re supposed to be on our honeymoon, not trying to find references to the crystal tree in the Everfree Forest.” “Crystal library. Crystal tree.” Green Grass turned a page. “It only makes sense.” “Why can’t you just relax and— Oh, look. Here’s a good one. Elpis. It means ‘Hope.’” “They’ll call her Ellipsis. Or Elkvis. I’ve asked you a dozen times already, why not just call her Clover? You know you want to.” Green Grass stuck a color-coded bookmark into the chapter he was studying and picked up a pencil to make a few quick notes. “Princess Hope.” Twilight giggled, which turned Green Grass’ notes into an unintelligible scribble not much different than his normal shorthoof. “I’ll add it to the list.” “Page seventeen,” quipped Green Grass, rubbing his head. “My ears are burning for some reason.” “Mine too,” echoed Twilight, moving her head over to nuzzle her husband around his warm ears. “Somepony’s talking about us. Kiss?” “Kiss for Princess Clover,” said Green Grass, rolling over so he could kiss his wife on the tummy. “And a kiss for mommy,” he added with a long, drawn-out kiss for his wife. “You can’t say for certain that I’ll pick Clover,” insisted Twilight Sparkle once the kiss was over for the moment. “Nope,” he declared, giving her another kiss and resuming his comfortable reading spot. “Can’t say that for sure. Oh, look. The Quilin of Neighpon have a whole crystal forest.” He held the book up sideways and squinted at the map. “Destroyed by a plague of crystal squirrels several centuries before the book was written. That’s no help.” “It’s a possibility. I’ll write the Quilin ambassador a note. Maybe she knows more.” Twilight read over her husband’s shoulder for a while before nudging him. “Turn the page.” “I’m not done yet.” Green Grass settled down into the crook of his wife’s forelegs and pulled a wing over him like a blanket. “You are too.” Twilight Sparkle ran a feathery primary up Green Grass’ ticklish sides and relished the warmth of his body as he giggled. “I saw you reach the bottom of the page. Now turn it over.” “Can’t make me,” he snorted through the giggles. “Besides, Princess Clover and I can fight back.” He rolled his head over and put his mouth against the thin skin under her foreleg before blowing a loud raspberry. And the fight was on, with laughter and giggles that filled the upper stories of the crystal library and continued for a very long, long time, even in the days after they returned to their home in the hollow oak tree library. Quite some time later… ♫ Let the rainbow remind you That together we will always shine ♫ The streams of colorful magic began to fade as all of the magic that Tirek had stolen was returned to the proper owners. As they landed, the extra tints and marks vanished from the six mares who found themselves standing in front of a huge crystal castle that towered over nearby Ponyville. The last fading notes of music had not completely gone when the trail of smoke rising into the sky made five of the mares stare at the destroyed oak tree. All that remained was scattered burning books that now smoldered in the middle of their small town, the remains of the residence that had until today housed Spike and Twilight Sparkle. Plus one more. As the sounds of the townsponies emerging out of their houses began to get louder, the five mares and one dragon moved closer to Twilight Sparkle, who was still staring up at the gigantic crystal castle with tears at the corners of her eyes. They moved close, but not too close, as there was an awful lot of Twilight to get close to. The long-delayed delivery of her foal had left her, as Green Grass had liked to say, a nearly spherical alicorn of uniform density. It was a considerable exaggeration, of course, that always ended in laughter with him being thwacked by a pillow or wingtip, but now it seemed as if the laughter had gone away, never to return. “Twi,” ventured Applejack with one hoof raised as if to put it around Twilight Sparkle’s neck and begin a hug. “Your home is destroyed, and Green Grass… I’m sorry.” “Don’t be sorry.” Twilight Sparkle was trying to stay firm and speak as a princess should speak, although her eyes never left the towering crystal castle and a quaver of tension emerged as she talked. “Green Grass taught m-me that h-home is ponies. It doesn’t m-matter that the l-l-library is d-destroyed. It was j-just a house. As long as I have my friends, I’m home, even if I have to live in a cardboard box in somepony’s basement. Or a giant crystal castle, I suppose. “I knew this would happen eventually. I’ve prepared myself for this moment. Princess Celestia told me that all things have a beginning, a middle, and an end. We have to make preparations before the end so we’re ready when it comes, no matter how much it hurts.” “But… what about the foal?” asked Fluttershy. “I’ve been very patient and understanding. Maybe a little too much.” Twilight took a deep breath, held it, and then let it out. “All things have a beginning. I’m ready for this.” “How can you just say you’re ready for this!” said Rainbow Dash, launching up into the air and hovering over her friends. “What about Green Grass?” “What about me?” Green Grass came panting up to the circle of friends with the familiar (and large) ‘Foaling Emergency Bag’ strapped across his back, as it had been for the last several months. “Sorry it took me so long. I wanted to make sure everything was okay in the jail/shelter before I ran here. So what did I miss, Dear—” He came to an abrupt halt as the presence of the crystal castle seemed to suddenly penetrate his awareness, and his head went back further and further as he looked up. “I’m not cleaning those gutters by myself, I’ll have you know.” “Did you save my comics?” asked Spike while the rest of Twilight’s friends simply stood and stared. “Yeah,” said Green Grass, still staring almost straight up. “All of the Golden Age, Mint Condition, Bagged Collector's editions?” continued Spike. “Yeah,” said Green Grass in the same distracted voice. “Everything in the Emergency Evacuation Box, including the Moochick’s book and our photo album. Dear. This is yours, right? It has your cutie mark on top of it.” “Yes,” squeaked Twilight. “And you’re not hurt, right?” he added, still staring straight up. “Labor,” she panted. “Water broke while I was fighting Tirek.” “How far apart are the labor pains? And how tall is that thing, anyway?” Green Grass finally blinked. “Labor? Labor! We have to get you to the hospital! Now! Come on!” With a thunder of hooves and a trail of dust, Green Grass galloped away in the direction of the Ponyville Hospital. “Fourteen months and one week.” Pinkie Pie checked her notebook. “Huh. Shining Armor wins the pool.” Fluttershy cast a look at Discord, who had suddenly appeared in surgical mask and scrubs, with a troublemaking grin on his mismatched face. “No. Twilight needs to get to the hospital, Discord. You’re not delivering the foal here.” “Awww…” Discord put on his unhappy face, sticking the other one in his pocket for now. “But we practiced. Remember that family of baby bunnies? Ow!” He glared back at where Twilight was standing in the middle of the road, hunch-shouldered and spraddle-legged while raising her wing to thwack him upside the head again. “Okay, okay. Spoilsport. The hospital it is.” ...Five hours, twenty-one minutes, and seventeen seconds later… Princess Twilight Sparkle tried to make herself comfortable as the newborn foal nuzzled beneath her for a first meal. She had a sudden and understandable flash of sympathy for her mother, who had nursed four unicorns, as the stubby filly horn prodded her sensitive underbelly before the little foal found what she was looking for and latched on. Hard. “She’s adorable,” purred Green Grass, lying on his belly with his hooves out, ready to catch the little filly if/when she fell down again. “Just like her mother.” He closed the So You’re A Parent - Now What? book with the damp noseprint in it and sat it to one side before just remaining in place, watching the little filly stretch her wings and nurse. “Yeah,” gasped Twilight. “Strong too.” She squeaked as one of the outstretched wings touched her tummy. “Unfair!” Five mares, one dragon, three alicorns, and one ancient god of chaos remained almost perfectly silent as the little filly nursed and Twilight Sparkle made faces. Finally, she managed to gasp out, “Go ahead and say it.” “Don’t want to,” said Green Grass. “You know, my mother had this little gadget that looked like a ping-pong ball that she used to stick on Frost’s horn while she nursed.” “That sounds… useful,” said Rarity, who was still conflicted between being fascinated at the ongoing maternal activity and somewhat repulsed at it all. “Mother bottle-fed Sweetie Belle,” she added, with the additional “Thankfully” remaining unspoken. “Go ahead. Say it.” Discord poked Green Grass with a long celery stick. “You know you want to.” “I think it’s a very appropriate name,” whispered Fluttershy. “You’re gonna say it eventually,” said Applejack. “And you’re already in a hospital,” added Rainbow Dash. “There’s no time like the present.” “All right. I’ll say it.” Green Grass remained laying on his chest while watching his daughter nurse. Her light green coat contrasted with her mother’s lilac hues except for the short purple mane (with a pink stripe, of course) that nearly blended with her mother’s belly hair, and the same shade of light purple tinging the very tips of her tiny wings. “I think Clover is a wonderful name for our little princess. And I told you so.”