//------------------------------// // Never Cross a Bounty Hunter // Story: Bad Luck for a Bad Manager // by DarkStarWolf53 //------------------------------// The next day, Countess Coloratura and Svengallop head to the stage in Canterlot. "Now," says Svengallop as they draw near, "Remember what I told you. Entrance is key to success! And for Celestia's sake, don't associate with those commoners!" "But why?" "Because you, Countess Coloratura, are a star thanks to me. And I won't have you sully my good name by associating with such lowlifes! And if you don't do as I say, I'm going to leave. And we both know you don't stand a chance on stage without my help!" "I know..." replies Countess, lowering her head. "You never let me forget that..." She takes her place on stage, along with her backup dancers, while Svengallop gives orders to several big draft-type stallions. "Remember, if any of the riffraff tries to get to the stage, and anyone who comes in without a ticket, must be aggressively removed. I won't have anyone interfering with my show! And if you fail at this simple task, I'll have you fired without so much as a ticket stub! Do I make myself clear?" "Yessir Svengallop!" say the drafts. They take their places near the stage and the entrances. In the woods outside town, however, someone is watching. Or rather, two someones. One is a draft-sized black-and-white pinto unicorn mare, battle-scarred, lion-tailed, and built like a deer. The other is a just-as-big golden she-griffin. The unicorn stares at the Countess, only looking away when the griffin nudges her in the side. "Heh, staring at the pretty mares again, Storm?" "Heh, you know me all too well, Goldfeather!" "Why don't you go talk to her, see if she's got a stallion or mare or if she's single?" "Sure you won't mind?" "Of course not. I may be sweet on you, but buck, that new mare is fiine!" "Indeed she is. Think I'll talk to her- you want to come?" "Nah. Those ponies don't like us griffins very much- think we'll hunt them and kill them for food." "Can't blame them. Your kind is one of the realm's apex predators, even though most of you go for fish." "Enough talking, pretty pinto. Go see if that pony girl is single, go on!" "All right!" Storm trots over, but is halted by one of the draft-type stallions. "Don't come any closer." "Why not?" "We don't want your kind around here." "My kind?" "You look like a thug, a troublemaker. Like the riffraff our manager wants to keep out." "Well, aren't you specieist. What do you got against pintos?" "It's not your fur color. You're all dirty and scarred- you must be some kind of thug." "So what's wrong with a little dirt and a few scars? I earned these battle scars, and am proud of them." "Our boss is very particular. He doesn't want the lower class here." "Well, your boss can go buck himself. I'm just here cause that pretty mare you were escorting caught my eye." "The Countess Coloratura? She wouldn't want anything to do with a peasant like you." "Anyone ever tell you it's a bad idea to insult a scrapper? Hope you have medical insurance." "What's that supposed to mean?" "Since you insulted me so much, I can only assume you want a fight. Now you got it." "That's not what I-" The bouncer is cut off by hard, sharp hooves slamming into his skull and knocking him out cold. "Anyone else?" asks Storm, glaring at a second bouncer nearby. The other draft stallion decides to back off, not wanting to risk getting hoofprints on his forehead. Storm takes a seat in the audience, on alert. She doesn't pay much attention to the music, but instead watches the mare on stage dancing and singing. She's pretty all right, but blast it, I wish she'd take off her veil. She'd be even prettier without it. Once the show is over, Storm attempts to go up to the stage, only to be stopped by yet another bouncer. "You going to let me pass, or should I dent your skull?" "Is that a threat?" "What do you think?" "I think yes. But still, you aren't allowed near the Countess. You look like part of the riffraff the boss doesn't want here. You might get the Countess's pristine fur dirty. Why, you might even have fleas!" "Nope, no fleas here. My lady just preened me so no bugs. As for the dirt, a little mud never hurt anyone." "You horrid creature, how dare you insinuate the Countess should be allowed to get dirty?! Dirt is for the common ponies. Now get out of here!" "Welp, you just blew it," says Storm. She kicks the bouncer in the legs, tripping him, and slams her hooves down on his head. This taken care of, she goes backstage where the Countess is out of costume and preparing for her next show. "Hi," says the pinto. "What? Who?" "Name's Storm. You busy?" "No... how did you get back here? And why?" "Easily. As to why, I thought you were pretty and decided to tell you personally." "You really think I'm pretty?" "Sure. You're beautiful. Especially without that veil." "It's been such a long time since a pony said something that nice to me." "What do you mean?" "My manager won't let me near anyone besides those snobby upper-class ponies. Says anyone else is 'beneath me'." "Sounds to me like you need a new manager." "If only it were that simple... But I owe him my entire career. He says that I'm repaying that debt by working for him, that if I ever stop working for him he'll make sure I never get another chance at fame. But at least he's going to let me take a break- said there's a slim chance he'll let me quit afterwards" Storm's ears go back and her voice takes on a much darker tone. "Your boss sounds like a slave trader." "W-what?!" "Mhm. Down Below, the slave traders say things like that to trap unlucky travelers and make them battle slaves." "That's horrible! But pardon my ignorance: what's the "Below" you mentioned?" "It's a place where they take you and torture and/or make you fight til you die." "That's awful! But how do you know about this?" "Because I spent half my life there. That's where I got the scars. Got tricked into it by a silver-tongued griffin who charmed me into obeying him. I was one of the lucky ones though- got out alive. That doesn't happen often." "Are you saying my manager means to get me killed?!" "I'm not sure. Does he have some kind of life insurance on you?" "Well, yes..." "Then you're bucked." "But he wouldn't kill me!" "Didn't say he would, but he might cause it another way..." "What? He wouldn't do that!" "Still, it might be better for your health to kick him out." "I'm not going to do that- I'd never get another job!" "Up to you, pretty one. By the bye, are you free later?" "Why?" "I'd like to show you around." Svengallop comes out of his office and notices the big pinto mare talking to Countess. That is not a high-class equine. She needs to be removed! I can't have her telling Countess about the commoners! It would ruin all my plans! I didn't charm that singer into working for me just to have some outsider ruin things! He comes up on the pinto from behind, a serious mistake. "You-" he begins. Storm is so startled by the sudden voice behind her, she lashes out with her back hooves, almost knocking him out. "Why did you hurt him?!" asks Countess. "He was behind me. And when something comes at me from behind, it's usually a predator. Naturally, since I'd rather not die, I instinctively kick at them." Svengallop starts to come out of it, muttering about "keep her isolated" and "finish the job" while still half-out from the blow. "What did you say?" asks Storm, stepping between the Countess and her still-down manager. "Unh, put the hay in the apple and eat the candle..." "Not that. What was that about 'keep her isolated', hmm?" "Keep Countess isolated from... help... use her fame... bandits... insurance money!" "What does he mean?" whispers Countess, sounding scared. "Pretty sure he plans to keep you away from anyone who could help you, and use the fact you owe him for your fame to keep you caught til he sets the bandits on you to get you killed." "But why would he do that?!" "Because he's a greedy jerk that just wants money." "I don't believe you!" "Then ask him when he wakes up. I'll know if he's lying." "I will! I'll show you!" Svengallop comes out of it in full, and finds himself looking up at a very angry pinto mare. "Your Countess has a question for you. And you better think pretty hard before you answer." As she speaks, the pinto lowers her sharp horn and touches it to Svengallop's neck. "Are you really just using me?!" asks Countess, "And do you plan to get rid of me for the insurance?!" "Of course not!" "Are you sure?" asks Storm. "Why so scared?" "You have a weapon against my neck!" "No, it's more than just that. You're hiding something." "No I'm not!" "Mhm. Are you sure about that?" Something about this pinto makes Svengallop rethink what he's saying. "Maybe I am hiding something. But that's all I'll tell you." "I see. So you won't mind explaining why you keep Countess isolated, why you were talking about using her fame and why you mentioned 'bandits' and 'insurance money'." Storm moves her horn away but keeps her captive pinned down. "I never said that!" "Yes, you did," says Countess. "But what did you mean?" Oh dear, thinks Svengallop. They are both suspicious... Maybe I can trick the Countess though, and turn her against this scary pinto... "I, um, meant using her fame to, uh, keep serving her..?" "You are a terrible liar," snaps Countess. Even she is suspicious now. "Um, perhaps I should leave." "Yes you should," says Countess, "And stay away. You're fired!" "Why you mother-bucking, ungrateful, snotty brat! When I get through with you, your career, your fame, even your life will be ruined!" "No, it won't," says Storm. She turns to Countess. "Mind if I take care of this for you?" "Not at all. Just, please, don't hurt him too badly. He did give me my start, after all. If not for him, I'd still be stuck in bars and nightclubs, and flat broke." "Oh I won't hurt him." "I guess he's in good hooves then. I'm going to call the others and move on." "Good luck, pretty Countess." "Thank you..." Countess Coloratura leaves, and Storm grins down at Svengallop, looking incredibly sadistic. "As I recall, you said you wouldn't harm me." "Yeah, but I'm not the only one here." As she speaks, Storm takes a rope out of her pack and ties it around Svengallop's neck, to be used as a lead, and drags him into the woods. "Hey Goldfeather," she says once she and her prisoner are out of sight and hearing of the ponies. "What'cha got there, pretty pinto?" "Lunch," says Storm with a smirk. "LUNCH?!" gasps Svengallop, "What do you mean?!" "Griffins are carnivores. You figure it out." "You're both stark raving mad!" "Nope," says Goldfeather, "Just hungry." She turns back to Storm. "Still, this critter doesn't look like it'll taste that good. Might not be worth the job." "True. But, hmm, you know, the Diamond Dogs aren't as picky about their meals." "Ooh yes, and we might actually get a good price! This one is pretty able-bodied. Could make a good slave til they get hungry. Course, I doubt we'll make as much a profit on this as the last crook you turned in." "Ah well." "You're going to sell me to the Diamond Dogs?!" gasps Svengallop. "Mhm. But don't worry, with what they'll do with you, you'll be glad when they finish you off!" "AAAAHHH!!!"