//------------------------------// // Dragons Take Their Ponies Medium Rare // Story: Rarity's Quest to Save Literally Everything // by PegasusMesa //------------------------------// A final crack of thunder shook the boutique’s walls before the storm blew itself out, pattering rain ceasing and clouds dissipating. Within seconds, pale sunlight filtered through the early morning fog and beamed into Rarity’s workshop, where the fashionista herself lay asleep at a cluttered workbench. Forehooves splayed out and cheek pressed against the tabletop, she presented a less-than-elegant portrait of a slumbering lady. The tranquility was broken by a long, loud creak that rent the air as the workshop’s door, left ajar, slowly opened. From outside the room, Opalescence nosed at it until she had a space wide enough to slip in before darting through with speed that belied her normally languid demeanor. One impressive leap later, she stood upon the table and gazed down at her peacefully dozing owner. Opal took the opportunity to play with a spool of thread while contemplating all the different ways she could achieve vengeance for that most unjust bath that Rarity had inflicted upon her just the day before. One option was the simplest method; she could take her claws to a piece of furniture—perhaps that ridiculous couch Rarity always collapsed onto—and shred its covering to tatters. It would certainly be the easiest choice. However, the easiest choice did not appeal to Opal’s sensibilities. Like her owner, she considered herself more sophisticated than others of her species. Clawing would be more than enough for your average, everyday cat, but Opal required something more complex—something more satisfying. A wicked, toothy grin spread across her face. Something more devious. Rarity suddenly snorted and Opal leaped away from her, nearly off the desk, back arched and tail raised. However, her owner merely smacked her lips and rolled her head over so that it rested on her other cheek. Opal slowly returned to a more refined posture as her small heart pounded relentlessly; however, her attention was on something else she had noticed in the wake of her fright. She daintily traipsed around to have another look at Rarity’s face, this time leaning for a better view. Where normally she would find a pristine visage, immaculately cared for and free of blemishes, Opal now took note of bags under Rarity’s eyes and creases on her forehead. She had a haggard look that had not been there just hours earlier, and her mane seemed like it hadn’t been cared for in days. Opal sat back on her haunches and licked at her paw as she weighed her options. Was there a point in tormenting a pony who already had so much on her plate? After all, if she had her attention on something else, then she wouldn’t be able to fully appreciate the dire consequences of dunking her sweet, darling kitty into a tub of soapy water, would she? No, enacting vengeance now would simply not do. Of course, this decision had absolutely nothing to do with affection for her owner. Absolutely nothing to do at all. Even as Opal let a smug feeling of generosity wash through her, from seemingly out of nowhere Rarity slammed her hooves on the desk and shouted out. “No, no, no!” she cried at the ceiling. Before, Opal had merely leaped back; this time, she whipped off of the desk and out the door. Blood pounding in her ears, she sought refuge in the hallway closet. She glared in Rarity’s general direction and once more pondered the myriad ways by which she could make that infuriating pony pay. Even as Opal’s bushy tail disappeared into the hallway, Rarity had clambered to her feet. “No, no!” she yelled again with a heavy stamp of her hoof. “Hay Budget, you bring me back right this instant!” Nobody responded. “I say, do you hear me?” Still no response. She released a strangled cry and paced a tight circle, taking care to avoid tripping over the stool that she had upended just seconds ago as she stood. The room’s carpeting muted her hoofsteps, which brought an even deeper scowl to her face; if one’s stomping made no noise, then what was the point? “You cad!” she shouted at the ceiling, as though Hay Budget sat on the roof of her boutique just a few hoof-spans away. “Fiend! Lazy layabout! You no-good, washed-up, run-down, asinine, mare-tormenting, accusatory, insignificant, foul-mouthed little—little—” She fought to find an appropriate insult “—foul-mouthed little whiffle-whaffle!” Her tirade ended with a wordless scream that lasted until she ran out of breath. As the last note died in her ears, Rarity stood on wobbly legs, chest heaving as she fought to regain her composure. She glanced at one of the workshop’s mirrors and gasped loudly at the image that stared back—a mare with sunken eyes and unkempt coat, whose dishevelled mane hung limply, its curls nearly flattened out. “Oh, just look at this mess.” Her hoof ran through the tangled mass of hair, pulling at one particularly offensive knot. “This is all that ruffian’s fault.” “Yup,” Hay Budget said with a shrug, “The one responsible for this entire mess is Princess Twilight Sparkle.” The sound of shattering porcelain echoed off of the walls of Hay Budget’s tiny kitchen as Rarity’s teacup broke upon the tiled floor. Her mouth hung open, jawing soundlessly. Hay raised an eyebrow. “Are you actually that surprised? I mean, she does think herself a scientist. This had to happen eventually, right?” Rarity huffed as she lifted the upended stool and dropped it back onto its legs. “The sheer nerve of some ponies,” she muttered. Her weary gaze turned towards Luna’s dress, which adorned one of the room’s mannequins despite having been twice now delivered to Canterlot and its would-be owner. Rarity huffed again and pulled it free, sliding it into the garment bag she had specially prepared for it. A long scarf, snagged by her magic’s grasp, wrapped itself around her head and neck and hid her mane from view. She gracelessly draped the bag over her back and shambled out of the room and down the stairs. “Once more, off I go to Canterlot,” she wearily said with a drawn out sigh. Over her shoulder, she shouted, “Opal, sweetie, Mama’s going to leave your dinner in the kitchen. Do try not to make a mess, will you? As she trudged into the kitchen her vision suddenly blurred, and she stumbled against the countertop, horn catching a jar of sugar and sweeping it off to crash on the kitchen floor. The garment bag, too, slid from her back. After a few seconds, the dizzy spell passed, and she regained her senses. Crouching to examine the shattered pottery, Rarity heaved another laden sigh. “Lovely.” Her eyes narrowed as she lifted the broken pieces and dumped them into a nearby waste-bin. “This never would have happened if somepony had sent me back a day further so I could get a good night’s sleep.” These last three accentuated words were directed up at the ceiling, along with her baleful gaze. “But no, whyever would I need rest in order to find Twilight and save the world? Not that I believe the two are connected to each other, mind you!” “That cannot be true,” Rarity said at last. She grimaced at the broken porcelain and the spreading puddle of tea at her hooves, but made no move to clean the mess. “I absolutely cannot believe that Twilight would wish to hurt anypony, let alone destroy the whole world.” “Did I say she was doing it on purpose?” Hay took another sip of his own tea and rested his hooves on the table. “I’m not stupid—I know Princess Twilight wouldn’t intentionally cause any of this. However, I have seen her research and know without a doubt that it will tear—has torn—Equestria apart if we allow it to continue. You’ve noticed the crazy weather, right? That’s only a minor result of what she’s doing.” Rarity sucked on her lower lip for a moment. “Sir, if you expect me to even consider believing you, then you shall have to present some sort of evidence.” “That, I can’t do,” Hay said. “Why not try using that pretty head of yours? Last time you saw her, did you notice anything that might help change your mind?” At the time, Rarity had said nothing, but she now thought back to Twilight’s visit three days—no, one—one day ago. She had said something about a trip for… something. Exploration? Rarity’s ears flattened as she struggled to remember. With all of the broken bits of pottery safely thrown in the trash, her bloodshot gaze turned upon the mound of sugar that sat in the middle of the floor. She nearly left it there to be dealt with later, but thought better of it a moment later. “You’re lucky Mama loves you so much,” she muttered under her breath as she snagged a broom and dustpan and, with short, choppy sweeps, brushed at the mess. A clock in the boutique’s showing room chimed loudly; from where she sat, Rarity could just barely see that it said ten o’clock. Ten o’clock, when her train to Canterlot was scheduled to depart. “No, no, no,” she gasped under her breath as she scrambled to finish sweeping up the sugar, then grabbed a bag of dry cat food and dumped entirely too much of it into Opal’s metal food dish. Then, garment bag once more draped over her back, she sprinted out the door, only pausing to slam it shut and lock it behind her. The grass, still wet from that morning’s storm, almost instantly soaked her fetlocks through as her hooves squished against the spongy ground. Dark clouds had begun to gather overhead, but Rarity couldn’t spare the breath needed to scold the sky like she had the day before. She passed the fountain at the center of town and Sugarcube Corner, each appearing to her as barely more than a blur in her focus to make it to the train on time. Suddenly, a distant whistle pierced the loud thumps of blood pounding in her ears; her eyes widened and, putting her head down, she forced her aching legs into one last burst of speed through the middle of Ponyville and towards the station, which lay a mere hundred feet in front of her, at the end of a row of houses. She felt her pace lessen as her knees screamed their agony from this unfamiliar level of exertion. At long last, Rarity rounded the station’s corner and half-stumbled, half-bounded onto the platform and up to the ticket counter. “Ten—” She gulped down a few mouthfuls of air as the stallion working behind the counter cast down his bemused stare “—o’ clock—Canterlot.” She remembered the cost to only be ten bits, but she was shaking so badly that she couldn’t even sort out the proper change. Instead, she slapped enough coins to pay for a ticket at least twice over onto the counter. “Sorry to say, Miss, but that train’s long gone,” the stallion said with a shrug. He directed Rarity’s gaze towards the track in front of the station, which had a noticeable lack of trains. Then, she turned her eyes further down and saw, in the distance, the ten o’clock to Canterlot’s caboose just as it rounded a bend and disappeared from sight. “Would you like a ticket for the next one?” “Gone,” she barked in a raw voice, eye twitching. “Gone.” Her wobbling legs carried her slowly back the way she came. The stallion leaned out over the counter. “Ma’am,” he said, “you left your money!” “Gone! All gone!” she yelled. “Ah—” He frowned, then shouted back, “Hold on, I’m coming out!” She managed to wave a hoof negligently over her shoulder without losing her balance. “Whatever do I do now?” Her steps faltered and she dropped to her haunches, barely even disgusted by the mud that surely soaked her flank. After a few moments of rest, her heart stopped its pounding, although her legs still ached from the mad-dash to the train station. Somehow, she had managed to keep Luna’s dress from slipping off of her back. The station attendant finally managed to extricate himself from the booth and trotted over to her. “Are you alright, ma’am?” he asked, glancing around awkwardly. “No, I’m not alright!” Rarity snapped as her eyelid twitched again. Then, she shook her head heavily and forced a smile onto her face. “Please—please forgive me, sir. I didn’t mean to shout, but I do not seem to be myself at the moment. I’ll be fine.” He took a few steps away from this seemingly mad mare. “Well, if you say so—” “But what do they even want from me?” she interrupted, sniffling. “I’m—I’m—I’m only one mare! I can only do so much!” The garment bag, held aloft by a levitation spell, slowly drifted to rest on the ground. The stallion reached out and gave her a tentative pat on the back. “How am I supposed to deal with angry, fire-breathing dragons? I mean, at the very least give me a hint!” She stamped a hoof into the muddy ground. “And then he sends me back so that I’m just barely too late to make my train! The nerve!” The attendant once more backed away as she gained momentum. “And now I must wait here for this damnable train in order to deliver this damnable dress to Canterlot so that a damnable princess, who might I add doesn’t even need the silly thing, can wear it to her damnable ball!” The end of the rant was shouted, accentuated by random stomps that sent up gouts of muddy water. “So no, I am in fact not all right—” She glanced at the stallion only to find that he had already made his escape while she wasn’t looking. For a split second she considered chasing him down so she could complain some more, but her aching joints convinced her otherwise. “Why me?” she lamented, only to feel a drop of water hit her on the nose. “Oh, you cannot be serious.” A moment later, as the heavens opened up and proved her otherwise, she crossed her forelegs and scowled. All over town, ponies dashed for cover from the rain, seeking shelter under awnings and inside their homes and shops. Rarity, however, remained outside in the pouring deluge as her mood darkened. Dragons and time-travelling, she thought over and over. And that’s not even mentioning that business with Luna! How am I supposed to face her after— She forced away the unwelcome reminder of their little affair. There must be something I can do that will fix everything at once— Suddenly, Rarity’s ears pricked up. “I got it,” she said softly, eyes widening. “It’s all so clear, now!” Her glum expression slowly cracked into a radiant smile that belied the darkening clouds. “In this situation, with everything on the line, there is only one thing for a responsible mare to do!” Rarity gurgled in primal ecstasy. “Oh, yes,” she cooed, wriggling into the leather mattress. “Right there is perfect.” Lotus, the masseuse, rolled her eyes. “For the love of all that is fabulous, please do not stop.” She let out an exaggerated sigh, then gasped as Lotus’s hooves—those glorious, relief-inducing hooves—smoothed out a particularly agonizing knot of muscle in her back. “Ooooooh, yes,” she repeated breathily, eyes nearly rolling back into her head. “This is exactly what I needed.” Lotus snorted her amusement. “A bad day, I presume?” Rarity twisted her head to glance back. “You have no idea.” Another shudder wracked her body as another tense spot suddenly unbunched. “I cannot thank you enough for taking me without an appointment.” “Nonsense,” Lotus said, squirting a generous spurt of massage oil onto her hoof and laying back into her client. “We would never turn away our most frequent patron.” “Nevertheless—” Both mares paused as, in tandem with a loud crack of thunder, the ceiling lights flickered and swayed. Rarity continued, “Nevertheless, you’re helping me more than I can say.” Her mood had done a complete flip from when she had arrived at the spa a few hours earlier, drenched by rain and dragging her hooves in the mud. She had barely had to say anything before Lotus and her sister, Aloe, as good as threw her into a bathtub. Ever since, she had been receiving the first-rate treatment that she had come to expect from them. And now I need not worry about princesses, nor dragons. A contented grin spread across Rarity’s face. And even if things go as poorly as last time, it doesn’t mat— She tried to stymie that disturbing train of thought, but her traitorous mind provided the end of the sentence anyway. It doesn’t matter, even if I die. Lotus may have thought the resultant shiver a product of her massage, but Rarity knew better. She had always prided herself as a mare who appreciated the finer things in life, taking nothing for granted no matter how insignificant it might be. To make life itself into nothing more than a renewable resource… A frown creased her face. “Lotus,” she said haltingly, “would you mind horribly if I asked you something?” “I suppose it depends on what you want to ask,” Lotus answered without pausing her massage. “Just a philosophical matter,” Rarity said. Her tone smoothed out as she settled more comfortably into the cushion. “A ‘what if’, so to speak.” “Go right ahead.” Rarity spent a long moment in silence before slowly speaking up. “Let us suppose,” she began, “that death was not—” The room’s small door suddenly slammed open, and Aloe blew in, breathing heavily. “So sorry to interrupt,” she said through her panting, “but there is someone here to see you.” “My apologies,” Lotus said as she wiped her hooves on a towel. “I shall return soon—” “No,” Aloe interrupted, still looking out the door, “I mean for Miss Rarity.” Normally, Rarity would have sprung to her hooves and dashed out rather than keep someone waiting, but this was not a normal situation. “Aloe, would you be a dear and ask whoever it is, if it’s not too important, to meet me at my boutique in—” Her face scrunched up “—two hours, I suppose?” “But—” “I would not waste your or your sister’s time,” Rarity added, “and even so, I’m not in any state for visitors.” “But—” Aloe made eye contact with Lotus, who shrugged helplessly. “If you say so,” she conceded before showing herself out and closing the door behind her. Rarity sighed loudly. “Oh, that must have seemed awfully rude of me,” she said as she pushed herself upright. “I should go and—” “Be calm.” Lotus gently but forcefully pushed her back down. “I’m sure Aloe will take care of matters.” Her hooves ran over Rarity’s shoulders, and she tsked twice. “So much tension in those shoulders!” “Well,” Rarity said with a guttural moan, “as I said, things have gotten… complicated, I suppose, as of late.” Lotus leaned heavily into the massage. “Complicated?” “Quite complicated, in fact.” Rarity glanced over her shoulder. “Might you be willing to keep a secret?” “My lips are sealed,” Lotus said without missing a beat. “You know that.” Rarity smiled and pressed her face down into the mattress. “Of course I do—forgive me.” Another crack of thunder shook the walls. “I might have developed a relationship of sorts with, ah—with a member of the nobility.” “Oh?” “A relationship that might have culminated in a night of drunken passion that I can hardly remember.” “Fascinating,” Lotus said absently, working at another knot of muscle. “How long have you known this particular noble?” “Three days,” Rarity said, and Lotus gasped. “Wait, no, that’s wrong.” “Thank goodness! I did not think you—” “Two days,” Rarity said, nodding. She looked back again. “Why, is that bad?” Lotus took a long moment to answer. “I—cannot say,” she said at last. “If you both feel happy with each other, then I suppose not. How does he feel about your, ah, lovemaking?” “That’s the worst part.” Rarity sighed loudly. “She doesn’t even remember that it happened.” Lotus mouthed the word “she” and nodded. “Honestly, I cannot decide how I should act around her when next we meet.” “Well,” Lotus said, “if you love each other, surely everything will work out for the best.” After a long moment’s thought, Rarity nodded and pressed herself into the mattress. “I hope you’re right.” Before Lotus could say anything else, a pair of muffled voices breached the door, softly at first but growing louder. She frowned and lifted her hooves from Rarity’s back. “Maybe this is your noble lover herself,” she said, “ready to declare her undying love after having remembered everything.” Rarity snorted. “I hardly think that possible.” “You never know.” Trotting to the door, Lotus pulled it open in order to get a better look, and the voices instantly cleared. “P-please, just wait out front!” Aloe’s voice raced ahead of the clapping sound of hoofsteps on the spa’s hardwood floor. “She’s in the middle of—” “I have spent the past hour scouring this town for her,” someone responded—someone whose voice Rarity recognized very clearly now that she could hear it, unobstructed. “Stand me up? We shall see about that.” Lotus glanced back, giving Rarity a wide smile. “Nobility, you said? Oh, Miss Rarity, you minx.” Rarity pressed herself down against the mattress, like a filly scared of a monster in her closet, only to find herself disappointed when she didn’t vanish from sight. Gulping loudly as Lotus hopped aside and allowed the visitor to enter in all of her regal glory, she forced a shaky smile onto her face. “H-hello, Luna—you won’t believe the day I’ve had.” The chariot sliced through the cool night air, drawn by a pair of silent guards. When it had first left Canterlot, it had drifted over a gorgeous vista of gentle slopes and rustic villages, rushing rivers and distant mountains. However, mere minutes later, the varied terrain had vanished, replaced by this sprawling forest, with only infrequent rises to break up the monotony. Neither of the chariot’s passengers noticed this at all. Dark-gray scarf fluttering behind her, Luna flipped the page of a large, leather-bound book. After rushing to Canterlot to cancel the demonstration and offering her most sincere condolences to the heartbroken scientists involved, she had chosen to leave her tiara and torc behind in favor of something more seasonably appropriate. However, her decision to bring Rarity along for a confrontation with the Blazekites had not been well received, if the other mare’s blistering glare was anything to go by. “This is quite fascinating,” Luna said as she glanced overtop of it at her travelling companion, but when Rarity’s glower didn’t abate, she jerked her eyes back down to safety. “Apparently my sister pays other dragons to act as liaisons with these particular Blazekites.” No response other than the glare. “Because, ah—” She flipped another page. “Because they devoured the pony envoys she sent at first.” Another period of thick silence, and another flipped page. “But even dragons hesitate to deal with the Blazekites if they can avoid it. Because they—because they are so quick to anger.” She muttered to herself a bit longer, then lapsed into silence. The edge’s of Rarity’s lips quirked up ever so slightly. For the past ten minutes she had maintained this immaculately crafted scowl, and it had worked wonders. Luna would peek out from behind her book, and when she did, that withering gaze would always be levelled her way, searing itself into her eyes and forcing her back into hiding. Rarity forced her mouth back into a more intimidating frown, but a grim sense of delight from making Luna sweat left her smiling on the inside “D-did you know that Blazekites do not keep conventional treasure hordes?” Luna said. “Instead, they stud their eggs with diamonds, rubies, and other precious stones.” Without saying a word, Rarity crossed her legs over her chest. “And-and their breath can supposedly melt rock,” Luna said, flipping another page. “And these two Blazekites might be the only ones of their kind left in the entire world.” Still no answer. “And—and—” She sighed and lowered the book to shoot a glare of her own. “I give up. What is it?” Rarity’s gaze didn’t waver. “I’m sorry, are you speaking to me?” “Of course I am,” Luna snapped, waving an encompassing hoof. “Who else would I be speaking to?” “There’s no call for shouting, dear,” Rarity said evenly. “I’m not shout—” Luna shut her mouth shut and took a deep, long breath. “I’m not shouting,” she repeated in a softer voice. “Now, would you tell me what is wrong?” “Wrong?” Rarity’s eyes narrowed further. “Did I say anything’s wrong?” “The fact that you’ve spent the entire ride mentally boring holes into my skull tells me as much, yes,” Luna said dryly. “Well, you must be imagining things,” Rarity said. “Because nothing is wrong.” Luna arched a prim eyebrow. “Nothing?” “That’s what I said.” Rarity finally twisted away and stuck her nose into the air. “Absolutely nothing.” For a long moment Luna stared at her before finally relaxing. “That is reliev—” “I mean,” Rarity cut in shrilly, still turned away, “what could possibly be wrong about the way you have blatantly mistreated me?” Luna winced. “Ah, I thought so.” “Really, the sheer nerve of some ponies these days,” Rarity said, mane quivering with righteous anger. “But it makes sense for you to come along—” “And right after I gave up what could have been a lovely day at the spa.” Rarity had already begun to rant, and nothing could stop her now. “Lotus and Aloe won’t be so eager to schedule me at a moment’s notice next time, I can assure you of that!” “Look, I did not mean to break down that door—” “And then we get to the ball,” Rarity continued, “and I am absolutely famished. But can I have even one small glass of champagne or a measly plate of hors d’oeuvres? Nooo, we have ‘work to do.’ ” “I did offer you a slice of cake afterward—” Rarity silenced her with a sharp look. “And then, as though all that wasn’t enough, I am only permitted to have a lone mug of coffee! One!” Luna snorted. “I know for a fact that you drank two—” “But very well,” Rarity said, now waving a hoof dismissively. “Sometimes we must make sacrifices for the good of the many—I understand that.” “And the many are certainly thankful,” Luna mumbled. “But!” The word came out almost as a shriek; even the guards pulling the chariot heard it and glanced back. “But this final injustice shall not be allowed to pass uncontested.” “I know this trip came suddenly,” Luna said, rubbing at her elbow. “And I am truly sorry for drawing you along, but—” “You think apologies can make up for this?” Rarity ripped out something from underneath her and whipped it around—a white scarf with red and blue polka dots. Whatever Luna had been about to say, Equestria would never know. “Wha—what?” “I ask for a scarf that complements my mane and you bring me polka dots!” She turned her glare onto the offending garment. “Polka dots! Can you imagine my embarrassment should anypony catch me wearing something so crass?” “If they offend you so,” Luna said, unwrapping her own scarf, “then let me wear it. You can have mine.” She snagged the end of the polka-dotted cloth. Rarity’s chest swelled indignantly. “You think me some crude mare who would let somepony else wear polka dots on my behalf?” Try as she might, she couldn’t tug it free from Luna’s grasp. “How dare you impugn my honor like that!” “It’s not—” A single yank and Luna had sole control of the polka-dotted scarf, which she proceeded to don with an air of gravity “—a slight against your honor.” She reached out and wrapped her gray one around Rarity’s neck. “I simply think the colors pretty and thought you would appreciate them.” Rarity’s expression softened immediately as patted Luna on the shoulder consolingly. “Oh, Luna,” she said. “Darling, I did not know.” “Your apology is not nec—” “Things are worse than I thought,” Rarity went on. “First thing after we’ve put this whole fracas behind us, I must do something about your poor, misguided sense of fashion.” She stuck out her tongue and shuddered. “To think that you would like something so hideously garish as—no, that will not do at all.” Luna rolled her eyes. “Are you enjoying yourself?” “Immensely,” Rarity replied without hesitation. “You are just so adorable when at a loss for words.” “Wonderful,” Luna muttered, glancing away. “Come now,” Rarity said. All traces of anger gone from her face, she gave her fellow passenger another pat on the shoulder. “Overreacting is fun! Haven’t you ever tried it before?” Luna’s eyes flicked up to where the moon would have shone down if not for the thick blanket of clouds. “Yes, I have. You might recall that it did not turn out so well.” “Oh.” Rarity suddenly put a hoof to her mouth. “Oh! Luna, I—I did not mean to—” “But perhaps,” Luna said, lips twisting into a cruel smile, “perhaps I should try again.” She belted out a hysterical chuckle. “Maybe I should let Equestria know the true terror of eternal night!” Rarity shrank away as Luna’s teeth slowly grew longer, sharper. A black, ashen cloud had started to accumulate around the chariot, but she could still see that wicked grin, still hear that barking laughter. The air suddenly reeked of sulfur as her body began to shake. She closed her eyes tight— —and the laughter stopped immediately. Something gently poked her in the side; she peeked out from under an eyelid to find Luna—flat-toothed, kind-eyed Luna—staring back, smiling a smug smile. “You spoke truly,” she said. “That was fun.” Rarity felt blood rush to her face as she spluttered and fought to bring her shaking under control. “Why, you-you-you—you cad! You uncouth—” “Come now,” Luna said in a high-pitched imitation of Rarity’s voice. “Did you truly believe Nightmare Moon to be the type of mare to wear polka dots?” She flipped the scarf’s end over her shoulder and winked. “Hmph!” Rarity pointed her nose into the air. “It takes quite a lack of shame to find entertainment by scaring somepony out of their wits.” Luna’s eyes lit up. “That reminds me.” She moved to speak, but for a moment, no words came. Finally, in a soft voice she said, “I wished to ask you something. May I?” “It depends,” Rarity said in a huff. “Is it another nasty ploy of yours?” “Hardly.” Luna spoke slowly, carefully choosing her words. “It concerns a more serious, personal matter. About—about how you have…” Rarity’s posture softened. “How I have what?” “How you have, ah—” She coughed delicately. “How you have died. Twice.” “Oh,” Rarity said. She forced a smile onto her face. “That little old thing?” “Yes, I was wondering about it,” Luna said as she played with her scarf. “What is it like to perish? If-if you do not mind.” Rarity frowned at the sudden stutter, but brushed it off. “Quite a bit like going to sleep, actually. A tad painful for a quick moment, but honestly not so terribly bad.” “Not so bad?” Luna’s voice cracked, earning her another suspicious glance. “Although I suppose the impermanence matters somewhat,” Rarity added slowly. “But why do you ask?” “Simple curiosity,” Luna said, turning to watch the forest. “Of course it’s curiosity. What else could it be?” Rarity stared hard at the back of Luna’s head for a moment, but just as her mouth opened, the clouds began to glow blue. Small patches of sky appeared here and there, then a few more, until finally the clouds dissipated entirely as though they had never been there in the first place, allowing an unobstructed view of Bridle’s Comet as it ponderously soared through the heavens. She had already seen it twice, but far from civilization, Rarity could easily make out the comet’s burning white tail, licking the night sky in its wake. “So close,” Luna muttered. She turned to glance at her companion. “Is this how you recall it happening during your last, ah—your last—” Rarity couldn’t tear her gaze away. “Yes,” she breathed. “I see.” The silence hung heavily between them as they craned their necks to follow Bridle’s Comet before Luna spoke again. “If I am being wholly honest, up until now, a bit of doubt lingered regarding your tale.” Rarity fixed Luna with a flat stare. “Not that I thought you would lie deliberately!” “So you thought me touched?” Rarity asked primly. “No!” Luna said, holding her hooves in front of her. “No, but—you must admit that it is a rather large pill to swallow, yes? A lone mare chosen by a mysterious stallion to prevent a calamity. Whenever she d-dies, she travels back through time to start over from the beginning, this time with the knowledge needed to overcome whatever obstacle stymied her progress before.” She finished with a flourish of her forelegs. Rarity rolled her eyes. “Yes yes, I acknowledge the bizarre nature of my circumstances.” “But don’t you find it all odd?” Luna asked. “Is… that a trick question?” “I mean the fact that, in the span of a single day, we will have had not one but two disasters.” Luna’s face scrunched up in thought. “Philosophy has not been at the forefront of my mind these past days,” Rarity said. She reached back to primp her mane. “I mean, have you seen the state of my hair? It’s horrid!” Luna wasn’t even looking. “What if there’s a connection?” “To my mane?” Rarity asked. “No,” Luna said shortly. “A connection between Bridle’s Comet and the Blazekites rampaging.” “What would that matter?” Rarity said, still examining her mane. “I am not saying there is,” Luna said. She reached up to scratch her chin. “Just that—it strikes me as odd that two dragons particularly known for never leaving their lair would do just that on the same night that a comet nearly annihilates Equestria. In fact...” As Luna droned on, Rarity felt the urge to yawn; only the urge to maintain proper etiquette kept it from coming out. When is the last time I got a proper night’s rest? she wondered, propping her head up on a hoof. I suppose when I— She glanced at Luna and swallowed. One can hardly call that rest. Another yawn snuck up on her and cracked her jaws open wide before she could catch herself, and Luna’s voice buzzed pleasantly in her ears as her eyelids drooped. “Wake me when we arrive,” she mumbled with numb lips. Whether or not Luna answered didn’t matter, because Rarity was already asleep. What felt like seconds later, her eyes shot open, and she yelped loudly as she was thrown forward. Fortunately something held her around the shoulders and caught her before she could fall. She glanced up blearily into Luna’s smug grin. “Whuh?” she mumbled. “We’ve arrived,” Luna said with a snort. “Oh. Thank you.” Rarity smacked her lips loudly and fought to bring her breathing under control. They had landed partway down a valleyside on a flat stretch of rock. Pine trees bordered the landing going up the mountain, and towards the valley, the rock dropped away sharply. She glanced over the edge and saw more pine trees stretching up. On the valley’s other side Rarity could see a cave looming, with a wide ashen swathe of treeless ground in front of it. She shuddered, imagining the amount of dragonfire that would have been needed to clear that much woodland. Soft voices reached her ears, and she glanced back to find Luna, back turned to her, speaking softly with the guards. She trotted over. “—while I negotiate with the Blazekites,” Luna finished saying. A scowl spread across Rarity’s face. “Pardon me?” she said in a saccharine voice. Luna visibly stiffened. “I was admiring the view and missed that.” “I just gave out instructions,” Luna said without turning. “The guards are to stand away while I negotiate with the dragons.” “And what exactly do you envision for my role in this?” Rarity asked. Beneath the sweetness of her tone lurked a hint of danger. The guards both glanced at each other uncertainly. Luna took a deep breath. “You will stand with them, back from the danger.” An oppressive silence fell upon the landing. None of them would meet Rarity’s eyes as they narrowed until she bore an expression that would give even a dragon reason to hesitate. The awkward pause wore on until at last she spoke, words as cold and sharp as icicles. “Princess Luna, might I have a word in private?” For her part, Luna hadn’t even glanced at her, and even as she waved the guards away in response to their questioning looks, she closely examined a patch of rock that had suddenly captured her immediate interest. Rarity waited for the guards to move out of earshot. “What, exactly, do you think you are doing?” “I know not what you mean,” Luna answered, expression blank. “Oooooh, no you don’t,” Rarity said. She trotted over to stand in front of Luna and ducked into her field of vision. “Don’t think that tripe will work on me.” Luna glanced up for a split-second before averting her gaze once more. “ ‘Twas an acceptable enough trick when you used it,” she muttered. “Don’t sulk,” Rarity snapped. “It’s most unbecoming in a princess. And I was teasing you for a lark. This is a matter of life and death! Luna, answer me—what are you doing?” “I am doing my part as a ruler of Equestria,” Luna said, and at least she straightened her back and looked Rarity in the eyes. “I cannot hide behind you whenever the slightest threat rears its head.” “The slightest threat,” Rarity scoffed, huffing. “We aren’t seeking a family of irate squirrels—these are dragons! Dragons whose fury I witnessed first-hoof, I would have you recall.” Luna’s nostrils flared. “They could be twenty-headed hydras that breathe lightning and bleed magma and my decision would still stand.” “Don’t be ridiculous—” “Ridiculous?” Luna said, the venom in her voice making Rarity wince. “Why would you think protecting my subjects ridiculous?” Rarity pushed forward to jab Luna in the chest. “I find it ridiculous because when a dragon roasts you alive,” she said in an increasingly shrill voice, “you don’t wake up back in your chambers, no worse for the wear! You don’t get a do-over when things go south!” “Do not forget that I have dealt with dragons in the past,” Luna said. A lone bead of sweat rolled down her cheek. “Princess!” one of the guards called out suddenly, but neither mare paid him any mind. “You may have dealt with some dragons, but have you dealt with these dragons?” Rarity waved a hoof behind her towards the distant lair. “These dragons that would eat a pony as soon as speak with her? These dragons that even their own kind ostensibly avoids if they can?” Luna tried to turn away, but Rarity reached out to pull her back around. “Do stop me when I start making sense, will you?” Luna yanked her head free. “You seem to think that you can change my mind,” she said with a scowl. “Save your energy—my decision stands.” The other guard spoke up as well. “Princess Luna!” “Don’t feed me that tripe,” Rarity snarled. “I refuse to stand by and idly watch while you get yourself killed!” “Yet you would ask me to do the same?” Luna shot back. Rarity heaved an exasperated sigh. “Yes!” she shouted. “Yes, that is exactly what I’m asking you to do!” “Princess—” the first guard said. “Then you admit to acting selfishly!” Luna spoke over him. “No, I admit to acting pragmatically!” Rarity glanced at the guards as one galloped over. The other took wing and soared down into the valley. “What in Equestria are you so afraid of—” Luna turned on her almost faster than she could register. “I am not afraid,” she said, face inches away. Rarity’s face paled beneath her pearly coat. “P-pardon?” Before Luna could answer, an ear-splitting shriek rang out through the still air, followed almost immediately by another. The guard came to a stop before them and swallowed heavily. “Your Majesty, the Blazekites are up.” Another cry accentuated his point. “Yes, I can hear that,” Luna said dryly as she and Rarity ran to the edge. In the charred glade, one of the Blazekites had emerged into the moonlight, giving Rarity her first good look. Her eyes widened. Golden scales covered its lithe, sinewy body, marked in places with dark-red splotches that seemed more like blood than natural coloring. Vicious spikes jutted forth from its elbows, its knees, its forehead, its spine—this was a creature that existed to tear things apart, to shred them into bloody ribbons. The dragon’s claws dug furrows in the blackened ground as it threw its head back and spread its wings to scream at the night sky. “See what your foolish arguing did?” Rarity snapped at Luna, who glared back. “If you had just gone with my plan—” Another shriek cut her off as a second dragon burst forth from its lair “—then we would have never woken these beasts!” “Actually, it wasn’t you that woke them,” the guard cut in with a cough. “Probably, I mean.” “Then what was it?” Luna said sharply. “We saw somepony sneak out,” he said, back ramrod straight. “I can only assume that he took something and that the dragons noticed its absence.” He swallowed heavily and dove into a potential minefield. “Or, maybe your shouting woke them up.” Down in the valley, the first dragon had taken to the sky and glided along the treeline, head held low. Its partner shouted its fury and followed close behind. “Did you see in which direction this pony went?” Luna asked. “Yes,” the guard said with a nod. “Follow me.” He spread his wings, but paused for a moment. “And maybe try not to shout at each other anymore.” Rarity opened her mouth to ask how they were supposed to hunt down a thief with vicious, bloodthirsty dragons scouring the skies when Luna grabbed her around the midriff and took off after the guard. She barely managed to stifle her yelp. “What are you doing?” Rarity demanded instead as the wind whipped her mane. She spat out a mouthful of hair. “Let me down this instant!” Luna gave her a flat glance, then directed her gaze to the ground hundreds of feet below them. “Truly?” “Well, of course you would land first,” Rarity said, rolling her eyes. “Honestly! For royalty, you are woefully ignorant when it comes to treating a lady.” The three ponies swooped low, keeping a low profile in the two dragons’ wake as they made their way towards the valley’s center. Clouds had begun to gather in the sky, dampening the moonlight, and Rarity had forgotten to bring her umbrella. She whimpered and wrung her mane. Held up against Luna’s chest as she was, Rarity could feel the princess’s heart pounding. Luna’s coat was rougher than hers—We must work on that later, Rarity thought idly—and it had an almost musky scent to it. Not terribly ladylike, but one that somehow had Rarity’s heart thumping even faster and louder than Luna’s. She slowly wrapped her hooves around Luna’s neck and held on tightly. Although the flight only lasted a few moments, it felt like hours to Rarity before the pace slowed and they came to a halt, hovering just above the canopy. “Will your fellow signal you?” Luna asked the guard as she shifted Rarity into a more comfortable position in her forelegs. “Yes, Princess,” the guard said. “As soon as he catches the culprit, he should use his illuminator to tell us—” A few trees twenty yards to their left lit up momentarily. “Over there!” Rarity said, daring to let go of Luna long enough to point. “That wasn’t his illuminator,” the guard said with a frown. A few powerful beats of their wings was enough to carry them to where the light had been, and seconds later they touched down on the muddy forest floor. “What could have flashed like that?” Luna said. “Rarity, you can let go now—we have landed.” “Absolutely not!” Rarity said as she clung on to Luna’s neck and eyed the mud beneath her. A groan from behind a nearby tree cut Luna off before she could reply. She craned her head around to find her other guard lying on his back, chest and stomach singed black in three places. “Sergeant!” she said, dashing to his side. “Can you hear me?” His eyes cracked open and focused on her blearily. “Forgive me, Princess,” he answered with a groan. “The culprit eluded me.” When he weakly tried to roll onto his stomach, Luna laid a hoof on his shoulder to hold him still. “Did you see where he went?” she asked. “That way,” he said, pointing a shaky hoof to the right, away from the dragons’ lair. “He’s an earth pony, so you should be able to catch him, but be careful—he has some odd magic about him.” “Magic?” The injured guard nodded. “Right before I caught him, he threw these—these things at me that exploded when they touched me.” “Understood,” Luna said, turning away. “Was there anything else?” “He has one of their eggs,” the guard said with another groan. “I saw it clearly.” “Then we have no time to waste,” Luna said. The guard threw an unsteady salute. “Good luck, Princess.” Luna nodded to the other guard, and they spread their wings. “Wait just one moment,” Rarity said, glancing back. “You can’t mean to leave him here alone with two angry dragons flying about.” “Don’t worry about me,” the injured guard said quickly. “Nonsense!” Rarity saw Luna frown but went on anyway. “I cannot help with this search, so I shall stay here.” She let go, steeling herself to drop to the muddy ground, but one of Luna’s forelegs snaked up to hold her tight. “You are right that we cannot just leave our fellow,” she said softly, “but it is also important that you witness any events of import, such as the apprehension of this thief.” “Your Majesty, I’ll be—” the injured guard began. “Stay here with your injured brother,” Luna said to the other guard, whose eyes widened. “Should he recover in time, follow us with all due haste.” “But—” “Do not argue!” she snapped, beating her wings and taking off. “We have tarried long enough as is!” Without waiting for an answer, she set a frantic course through the forest, close to the ground. Tree trunks and branches flashed by, in some cases inches away from clipping her wings. More than once, Rarity shrieked as they hurtled towards a leafy bough only for Luna to dip beneath it at the last moment. “Must you go—” She whimpered and ducked her head when Luna banked around a wide trunk “—must you go so fast?” “The fiend cannot be far!” Luna answered in a tight voice. “We must catch him before it’s too late!” After a moment of silence, Rarity glanced up shyly. “Luna, I—can you forgive me for—” “Not now,” Luna growled as she weaved through a tight cluster of trees. “I see the cur. Look!” Rarity hesitantly turned her gaze forward, where a stallion galloped for all he was worth. He darted gracefully between trees, but not quickly enough to outpace Luna’s wings. She put on a burst of speed right as he glanced back and used his mouth to flip something in her direction. Three small black pellets soared right at them. “Simple,” Luna scoffed, twisting out of the pellets’ path. However, they exploded in mid-air and caught her and Rarity in a thick cloud of smoke. Rarity heard Luna yelp, and then she was falling the twenty yards towards the ground. She landed on her behind and skidded a short distance before coming to a stop. “Ooow!” she whined, rubbing her thigh and glancing up. “Luna, how could you—” As the smoke cleared, she gasped loudly. Strung between the trees was a mess of thick, ropey cobwebs, and stuck directly in the middle like a giant angry blue fly was the Princess of the Night, legs splayed. “Damn!” Luna spat, wrenching at the webs to no avail. “Luna!” Rarity called up. “Luna, are you okay?” Luna growled and yanked again. “Does it look like I am okay?” Rarity’s hooves clapped against the ground. She glanced down to find that she had landed on a small patch of rock, which made for a more painful landing, but one that she far preferred to dropping into the mud. Examining the trees supporting Luna’s webs, she saw a fallen trunk lying along of of their bases. She squatted for a moment and leaped onto it, only scrabbling for a moment before she stood up straight. “Do not fret,” she said as she looked for the easiest way up. “I shall have you free momentar—” “No,” Luna cut her off. She flailed about, but the webbing held firm. “You must catch that stallion. This is certainly the reason for the Blazekites’ rampage in Ponyville, so it is imperative that you retrieve the egg and return it while they are still here!” Rarity’s blood ran cold. “But—I cannot do this by myself! I’m-I’m-I’m just one mare, and he has such a head start, and—” She glanced in the direction the thief had gone. Hoofprints, deeply imprinted in the mud, clearly marked his path. “And it’s just so muddy!” “Seriously?” Luna paused to throw down an incredulous look. “Of course the first two complaints are the more pressing,” Rarity said with a shrug. “But the third is nonetheless important!” Luna took a long, shuddering breath. “Every second we spend arguing is another second he has to escape,” she said. “You are the only one who can do this, but even that chance dwindles further by the moment!” “But—” Rarity’s eyes shimmered with unshed tears. “But what if a dragon eats you while I’m gone?” “Do not trouble yourself over that,” Luna scoffed. “Now make haste!” For a long moment, Rarity stared up without saying a word. “Very well,” she finally said. “But—at least let me first apologize for—” “We shall speak on that later,” Luna said, clearly trying to stay calm. “But unless you want to see your hometown burnt to the ground, then go!” Her words were punctuated by another dragon’s cry. Rarity glanced in the direction that the hoofprints led, into the marshy gloom. “You’ll catch up with me?” “Yes! Go!” “Fine!” Rarity shouted as she squeezed her eyes shut and leapt from her perch. If Luna said anything in response, it was lost in the wet squelches of mud that slurped at Rarity’s hooves with every step as she galloped as quickly as she could. She looked back, but Luna was already lost to sight, so she put her head down and pushed forward. “Ick, ick, ick,” she repeated under her breath. She could feel every last drop of mud, every last fleck of muck that stained her coat. “Ick, ick ick.” Her quarry’s hoofprints didn’t follow a straight line, instead making seemingly random changes in direction, weaving an almost disorienting path between the trees and other foliage. If it hadn’t been raining so much recently, Rarity would have had no chance in following her quarry. As it was, her chances were slim—she was no athlete, and this mad dash through the mud drained her strength quickly. She glanced up and realized that clouds had once more blanketed the sky, cutting off any natural light. If not for her own illumination spell, she would have been as good as blind. Even that, however, began to fail her as her breathing came more and more heavily and maintaining the magic grew more taxing. Another piercing cry cut through the air, and the light flickered wildly. Her pace slowed to a canter, then a trot. She ran a messy hoof across her brow to wipe at the sweat, not even caring that it left behind a swath of mud. A frown marred her face as a loud pattering noise caught her attention. She glanced up, and a fat raindrop landed directly on her forehead, her last warning before the sky opened up and let loose the floodgates. The mud still dragged at her legs, but now she also had to struggle just to maintain her footing as sheets of rain somehow found their way through the canopy and battered her weary frame. Slipping, sliding, and close to sobbing, she dragged herself forward, eyes still fixed on the trail before her, barely visible in her failing light. If only I had been caught in that web as well, she thought. As the sky flashed with lightning, an image of lightning striking the defenseless Luna ran through her head. She shook her head sharply and pressed on. However, as the rain grew even heavier, Rarity realized that the tracks were becoming harder and harder to follow—they had begun to wear away under the storm’s assault. “No, no, no!” she said, trying to pick up her pace before they vanished entirely. She slipped on the mud and fell forward, striking her chin on the ground. As she lay there groaning, the hoofprints disappeared inches from her dismayed eyes. Now aimless and lost, she pulled herself up against a tree and hunkered under it, desperately wracking her brain for an answer. The tracks were gone; her quarry could be anywhere; the darkness and rain made seeing an unlikely prospect, even if she managed to maintain her spell any longer; and unless the blindest of luck accompanied her—which it didn’t, she decided, if her past few trips through this one day were any indication—she could walk within leg’s-reach of the thief and never know it. Luna has probably freed herself by now anyway, she thought, ears drooping. Maybe I should just wait for her. Fat raindrops pounded on and around her as her spirits sank. Every minute she sat there unable to do anything was another minute the thief had to escape and seal Ponyville’s fate. And who knew what other towns or even cities might find a pair of angry dragons descending upon them? Hay Budget certainly chose the wrong mare. Lightning speared the sky, lighting her surroundings for the briefest of moments, and she allowed the illumination spell to slip away. Darkness settled fully upon her, almost as thick as the mud splattered all over her coat. Anypony could handle this entire affair better than I have. A scene of Luna heroically fighting and single-hoofedly besting a squadron of dragons played out in her imagination. At least I can’t hear that awful dragon anymore. She hadn’t thought it possible, but the rain fell harder still. The ground was more water than dirt at that point, which would make moving with any sort of haste almost impossible. Not that Rarity was the most athletic pony even in the best conditions, she reminded herself. I’m not much of anything at all, she thought. What can I do besides sew and track down precious stones? Suddenly her eyes widened and she sat up ramrod straight. “Because,” she said slowly, “whyever would that particular skill aid me in tracking down an egg studded with gems?” She snarled at her stupidity. Taking a deep breath, she fought to narrow her thoughts. The torrential fear from saving the world, the uncertainty over how to act around Luna, even the fury over her ruined mane—all of these emotions and others Rarity forced into the back of her mind so she could focus on one single, specific concept—beauty. Not the beauty of a perfectly coiffed hairstyle or a pony decked out in the newest, most forward-thinking formalwear on the market, but the simple beauty to be find in things that shone, that caught the eye with a mere glint. A surge of magic ran through her horn, then faded as she waited for that familiar tingle in her bones that told her the spell was taking effect. When it eventually did, if there was anything magnificent close by, her horn would draw her towards it. Hopefully, I can at least find which direction he went— She had expected maybe a slight tug. She had prayed for a pull. She had even imagined the remote possibility that it might yank her horn sharply enough to hurt. “Ow!” she said as the spell jerked her head back so that she was looking up. But of everything she considered, she wasn’t prepared to find a stallion staring down at her from a tree-branch directly overhead. Her eyes widened. “You!” she cried. The thief scrambled towards the trunk, hooves scrabbling on slippery bark, but Rarity was not about to let him escape again. A bright blue bolt lanced forth from her horn and sliced the branch off at its base, dropping both it and its unfortunate passenger fifteen feet to land in the soupy mud below. His bag splashed down a second later, and the egg, abnormally large, rolled out. This close, Rarity could see that it glowed brightly due to the effect of her spell. A groan drew her attention away from the egg, and she fell upon the fallen thief, who blinked dazedly. “What was—” “Do you know,” she said loudly so he could hear her over the pounding rain, “the full import of your actions tonight?” He groaned again. “That not only is it in extremely poor taste to steal some poor creature’s young, but by angering a pair of vicious dragons, you have endangered everypony within a hundred miles?” The thief rubbed his forehead. “What—” “Unless I can set things to right, they will fly to Ponyville and obliterate it!” She slowly gained momentum, speaking louder and more rapidly with every word. “How—” he began, but again was cut off. “Do you know how it feels when a burning building crushes you?” Rarity yelled. She pushed him onto his back when he tried to stand. “Because I do! I was killed by one! Tomorrow! All because you had to go and infuriate two of the most destructive creatures in the entire world!” “Stop—” Rarity slammed him back down with a snarl. “And then there’s my would-be relationship with Luna, which is on its third take and counting, I would have you know, with all manner of snags along the way as a result of your—your—” She spluttered for a moment “—your selfishness!” “Seriously, get off me!” the stallion grunted, wriggling beneath her iron hooves. “Ever since I was a little filly, I dreamed—literally dreamed—of being courted by royalty,” she wailed, “but noooo! When it finally happens, the entire world turns to sand in a saddlebag! Tell me, why would anypony want something silly like a moonlit stroll in the garden or a romantic dinner with her special somepony when she can instead go hunting for tantrum-prone dragons or save the entirety of Equestria from rogue comets?!” She paused to take a breath. “And I honestly cannot tell who I hate more—you for being so utterly selfish, that stallion for throwing me into this entire mess, Luna for not simply making everything better, or myself for being so weak and ineffectual that I cannot handle matters on my own!” With that said, she threw her head back and burst into tears. The thief glanced away, brow furrowed. “Uh—look, lady, I’m real sorry for—” “Sorry?” Rarity shrieked as she wiped at her puffy eyes. “You’re sorry? Just look at me! Never in my entire life have I felt so utterly filthy! Will your sorry wash my coat clean?” She waved the end of her mane in his face. “Will it pull the refuse and tangles from my hair? No, it won’t! You don’t get to be sorr—” One moment she was screaming in the thief’s face, the next she found herself in mid-air, launched by a powerful kick of his hind legs. She landed heavily on her rump just in time to see him disappear into the gloom. “Oh, you cad!” She ground her teeth. “You absolute fiend! Get back here right this instant, you oversized toad-spawn! I was not yet done complaining to—” A sound like an entire forest’s worth of tree branches breaking at once sheared through the rain’s pounding, followed by an earth-shaking thump that lifted Rarity from the ground for a short moment. Something very large and very heavy stood behind her, she knew; she slowly turned and found herself staring straight into a blazing red eye as large as her head. “If you need someone to complain to, my little pony,” the dragon boomed, voice churning with fury, “why not give me a try?” Rarity’s eyes rolled back and she fainted dead away.