//------------------------------//
// Chapter 12: Mommy Said There’s No Such Thing as Monsters 
// Story: Actually, I'm Dead 
// by Magenta Cat 
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Berry Punch was a tough pony. She had to be; she owned a bar, after all.

Since she was a little filly, Berry has been one of those ponies who really didn’t like to be pushed around. It all started when a colt tried to take away her favorite doll, and she replied by knocking him down. She was a fighter, and a good one, but what really filled her heart was her family’s business; wine.

Yes, Berry used to be a drinker in her younger days, but these days she preferred to prepare it. The feeling of victory after making and serving one of Equestria’s finest wines filled her with more glee than almost anything else. Not even the Apples’ cider could compete with the Equestria-wide known wine, Casillero de Pesadilla. It was almost the whole reason for Berry’s life, if it wasn’t that she had something more important to think of.

“Mommy.” Berry looked at her room’s door, where the one thing more important than wine was looking back at her. “I can’t sleep.”

“Come here, sweetie,” Berry sat up on her bed, making way for Ruby to lay down. “What’s the matter?” she asked, already knowing the answer. Ruby was one of those fillies who, while quite brave, quite bold, still feared storms. The filly only looked away, ashamed of being scared.

“Oh, I see, it’s the storm, isn’t it?”

Ruby nodded frantically. As if on cue, an especially bright bolt of lightning lit the room, and a loud crack of thunder roared outside. The little filly flinched and then ran across the room, leaping onto the bed with her mother. She pressed against Berry, shivering.

“You’re afraid of the lightning?”

This time, Ruby shook her head. “No, mom. What’s outside scares me.”

“Mija,” Berry rubbed her daughter’s mane. “There’s nothing to fear,” Ruby gave her an unconvinced look.  “Believe me, I was once afraid of storms and creatures that go bump in the night. But what I learned is that there are animals and wild beasts in the world, niña, but not monsters. Not really.

“Here, let me tell you a story.” Berry nuzzled her daughter’s mane. “Tell me, Rubí, do you know what our wine’s name means?” Although Berry’s mother made a point of teaching her their ancestors’ language, she hadn’t been that strict with Ruby, so she had to ask to be sure. “You know what Casillero de Pesadilla means?”

“Yes mommy, it means Nightmare’s Cellar. Why is that?”

“It all began with your great grandmother, doña Uva del Toro,” Berry started, remembering the painting of her hanging down in the bar. “She had this amazing recipe for a wine that was magically magnificent. So magnificent, goes the story, that it was able to raise the dead back to life. She used to store the best bottles under lock and key, to save them for special occasions.”

Ruby listened carefully, no longer shivering as she leaned against her mother, ignoring the storm outside.

“But this created a problem. You see, ponies already believed doña Uva del Toro’s regular wine was magical and powerful, and so they thought anything that she would lock away must be more magical and powerful. Thus they would sneak onto her estate and raid her cellar, stealing off bottle after bottle.”

“So what did she do, mommy? Did she get unicorns to cast magic spells to protect the cellar?”

“She tried that,” Berry told her, giving her ears a nuzzle. “But some of the thieves were unicorns too, so that didn’t work for long. But your great grandmother was a clever one. She figured that if magic couldn’t protect the wine, maybe a monster could.” Ruby turned and looked up at her mother, frowning in puzzlement. Berry only smiled back. “You see, what doña del Toro did was spread a rumor about Nightmare Moon herself visiting her wine cellar one night. Doña del Toro, in an attempt to appease the Nightmare, offered her a bottle of wine to quench her centuries long thirst. The story goes that Nightmare Moon became so enamored with the wine that swore she would guard it herself, so that no pony could steal what she had claimed that night. She would only let your great grandmother sell a portion of it, hoarding the rest for herself like an evil dragon.”

“Did it stop the thieves, mommy?”

“Indeed it did, mija. It worked so well, that after the first month, everypony was afraid of even getting close to the cellar, but at the same time, they all wanted to taste the wine that was  protected by the Queen of Nightmares herself. And so, doña del Toro eventually named the wine after the story, which is why to this day we still call it Nightmare’s Cellar.”

Ruby yawned and shifted about, nuzzeling along her mother’s warm fur. “But now Princess Luna is back, Twilight and her friends banished the Nightmare.”

“That they did. I did send a case of some of our finest vintages to welcome her after I heard about it. In the letter with it I explained the name and our family’s history. I had hoped she wouldn’t take offence at it. Thankfully she did not, and in her reply said that she was glad she could help our family, even in such a strange way. You know I should show you…”

Berry looked down at her daughter, only to realize she had fallen asleep. She shook her head and kissed her daughter’s forelock, remembering the time her mother told her that same story, proving to her that there’s nothing to fear in the night, and how she had fallen asleep in her loving hooves.

*Crash!*

Of course, Berry thought. The moment I swear to my daughter there’s nothing to fear, along comes somepony trying to steal from our wine cellar. I guess since we no longer have Nightmare to protect it, I’ll have to.

Arming herself with a quite heavy pisco bottle she had under her bed -and taking quick swig out of it- Berry walked out of her room and down to the cellar. It had been years since somepony was bold enough, or stupid enough, to try to steal from it. Berry still remembered how she knocked out a young colt who thought it would be cool to steal one of Nightmare’s wines. It was that night when her sister, Cheerilee, came up with the ‘Punch’ nickname.

Berry finally got to the door and already hated what she saw; there was wine coming from under the door, and by the look of it, it was from more than one bottle. This was enough to give her anger power over fear. Berry Punch worked hard to make that wine, as did her mother, and her mother, and her mother before, and that work was not supposed to end up in the hooves of some sloppy colts trying to steal it from them. Berry took a deep breath and kicked the door open, ready to maul anypony who may try to steal her family’s legacy.

Once inside, any anger she may have was eclipsed by confusion and fear. There was wine spilled all over the place, but that’s not what caught her attention. No, it was the collection of claw marks over the walls, floor, shelves and barrels that unnerved her. She got closer to one shelf, where three deep cuts were still bleeding wine from one of the barrels, but a noise from overhead stopped her. She looked up and see a silhouette, almost bigger than an adult pony, sticking to the ceiling. Berry tried to speak, say anything, but fear overcame her as two glowing-red reptilian eyes look back at her.

“No,” she finally managed to blurt out. “It can’t be.”

Once again, the lightning and thunder outside roared together, the flash blinding Berry from the hellish creature hanging over her. But when she looked up again, there was nothing to see.




I don’t know how I got here.

All I remember is waking up, hungry and thirsty, under the rain. The first thing I did was to drink of the falling water, but it wasn’t enough. I needed something more fulfilling that rain water. I closed my eyes, letting my other feelings guide me. At first, I could hear only the storm unfolding around me, the smell of life under nature’s scourge, the taste of moisture and the soft mud under me. It was a world of feelings revealing itself. It didn’t last long till I found the scent of fruits and ferment. It was a very sharp aroma.

I wanted it.




“Aaahhh!” Twilight awoke screaming and gasping.

This was her third in a row of nightmares. Not too far from her, Pinkie, Applejack, Rainbow, Rarity and Fluttershy where having similar problems sleeping. Although the events of Trixie’s death also affected others like Spike and the Princesses, it had hit them hardest, as they had witnessed it happening. The only thing that kept them still going was the fact they could rely on each other. The guilt, the regret, the sadness, it was all more bearable because they had friends to talk with. Still, some of them had taken it harder than others.

Rainbow already proved that when guilt and alcohol drove her to seek comfort at Fluttershy’s door. Surprisingly enough -or maybe naturally- she found it. Fluttershy’s patient and similar pain over the loss of a friend was enough to allow Rainbow Dash to avoid being sucked into that dark place where she had been heading. A similar scene happened at Rarity’s with Pinkie. That one was a little more messy, since both of them felt responsible over getting Trixie into the balloon to begin with. It was only Applejack’s amazingly well timed appearance what managed to bring them back from that same dark place. By the third day, the six of them, alongside Spike, spent most of their time together, trying to help each other to get over the sorrow in their souls.

Twilight looked around her and almost smiled at seeing how the five ponies and one dragon were all sleeping with her in the library’s central hall. She found some peace in thinking that Trixie had that too, even if it was only in her last days, and the thought of Trixie not giving up gave Twilight the strength to keep holding on too. In the end, both unicorns helped each other and Twilight wanted to honor Trixie’s memory by never giving up. That was why she and the girls were going to the courthouse later that day; to make sure Trixie would have justice, even if it was after the end.

That train of thought was interrupted by somepony knocking at the library’s door. Three hits came mimicking the thunder of the storm that had raged outside that night. Everypony was dragged out of their dreams and nightmares as Twilight got out of her sleeping bag and trotted towards the door, looking out of the corner of her eye the clock marking barely six in the morning. She wondered who could be up and knocking at her door so early, and was quite ready to tell anypony that wasn’t the Princess herself what they could do with themselves in no uncertain terms.

Given that she found both Princesses on the other side of the door -- accompanied by a modest contingent of royal guards -- that turned out to not be an option.

“Pr-Princess Celestia! Princess Luna! Wh-what are you two doing here this early?”

“We’ve come on a matter of some urgency,” Celestia explained. “If you could please fetch the Elements of Harmony and your friends, we will proceed to the cemetery.”

Twilight rubbed the sleep from her eyes. This wasn’t making any sense. “The cemetery?”

“Indeed. Events transpired last night that require our urgent attention. All of us.”

Even sleepy Twilight couldn’t miss the tone of importance in Celestia’s voice. It was enough to bring her all the way awake. “Alright, Princess. It will only take me a few moments.”

“Groovy,” Luna replied. Twilight stopped and turned back to gawk at her, finding that several of the guards and Celestia doing the same. Luna had noticed as well, her ears wilting her as her gaze darted back and forth. “What? I am still trying to work on how I speak. Is that not the modern vernacular?”

Twilight just shook her head and turned back to fetching the elements and rousing the rest of the girls. It really was too early for all this.




Light hurts, that much I’ve come to learn about the world.

After I fed my appetites, I could think clearer. I realized that I wasn’t alone in this word. That small moment of enlightenment was interrupted when the first rays of sunlight blinded me. The remnants of the storm still aided me, blocking the harmful light and giving me shadows to hide under.

I’ve been lurking in the shadows even since then, looking at these strange beings around me from the dark places that are my home. They seem familiar, almost as a memory buried in the depths of my mind. I want to be with them, to not be alone, but I know I’m not like them, therefore I can’t be among them. I’m confused, I don’t even know what I am.

Once again, I find comfort in the shadows, retreating back to the loneliness away from them, but I’m getting tired of hiding.

I want to be known. I want these beings-- no. I want everypony to acknowledge me. To look up at me instead of forcing me to hide. I want the world, and I will take it.

Thunder and lightning roar for me, playing a new world symphony. Winds and rain fall over me like a baptism for my existence.

I live.




“Whoa! Hold on a second!” Rainbow Dash said as she, her friends and the Princesses were almost racing towards the cemetery. As the other bearers did, she was wearing the necklace holding her Element of Harmony. “You’re telling us that some soon-to-be-dead pony desecrated Trixie’s grave?”

“We’re not sure if a pony, or a mortal for that matter, is responsible for this insult to your friend’s memory.” Without slowing down, Princess Luna took flight next to Rainbow. “What we do know is that the Alicorn Amulet disappeared and Trixie’s grave is open.”

Upon hearing this, Rainbow Dash could no longer hold back. Not restraining herself anymore, she beat her wings and left her friends and the rest of the contingent well behind. Each second before reaching the cemetery felt like an eternity.  Rainbow needed to be there, to do something, anything. She was on the verge of making a ground-level Sonic Rainboom, and would have if it wasn’t for the ghost of her last mistake holding her back. She still remembered the last time she cut loose, and a friend paid the ultimate prize. That would never happen again.

With one last sprint, and, Rainbow Dash arrived to the holy yard reserved for those who were resting in eternal slumber.

“No,” she muttered once she landed in the same place her nightmares had been ending for the past three nights. “It…” Rainbow was so distracted that she didn’t even notice the gush of wind next to her.

“I’m sorry you had to see it like this,” Princess Celestia said as putting a hoof on Rainbow’s shoulder. “I’m truly sorry.” The scene in front of them was devastating.

The marker on Trixie’s grave was shattered, with scorch marks all over its surface. There was that black and green ooze all over the grave itself, like an eruption of pure evil coming out of the earth. The necroplasm seemed to infect the holy ground. In the middle of it all, the pieces of a destroyed coffin inside a hole six hooves deep.

Rainbow fell to her knees, tears falling down her cheeks, but a pair of yellow hooves held her before she hit the ground.

The other ponies finally caught up with them, all reacting badly to Trixie’s grave. No pony felt strong enough to say anything.




Shadows. They protect me. Even under the sun after the rain’s passing, there’s always something projecting a shadow. I’ve become invisible to the life around me. But that’s not what I want. I want to be seen. I want to be noticed. I want each and every single living being to know who I am. That’s a problem, though, since I myself don’t know who I am.

I’ve seen my own reflection a couple of times now, expecting to recognize something in the glass’ face. But there’s nothing familiar in there. I don’t recognize any feature in the thing behind the mirror. It could be memory loss. I know I am I, and I know I exist, but that’s where it ends. It’s like I’ve lost my own sense of identity.

I can still feel emotions, and I feel anger as intense as fire, but I don’t know why.

I expected my place of birth could tell me something, but when navigating the shadow towards that field where I first opened my eyes, I find something else. An old memory stirring from the depths. The place looks like a tree, but it’s not. It’s more of a house in all but appearance. Although my mind doesn’t know why, my first instinct is to enter. I try with the door at first, but it’s locked. In my frustration I hit it with my claws, marking it.

That gives me an idea. I look down at my hooves. There are three sharp knives in each of them. I press the first three against the tree bark. I do it again with the other hoof. Again, and again, and again. I don’t even look down. Instead, I search for somewhere to enter. I need it, I need to enter this place. I don’t know why. This thing in my chest feels like an accelerated heart. I think it is my heart, since my pulse is synchronized with it, and it gets stronger once I’m inside the tree-house.

I expect it to have the answers I want.

I will take them from it.




The walk back to the library was slow, almost wandering. There was a lot to discuss. After recovering, or not, from the initial shock of seeing a friend’s grave open and literally flooded with dark magic, an investigation had to be made. Twilight and the Princesses had advanced into the cemetery to examine the desecrated grave while half of the Royal Guard escort had been instructed to spread out and examine the surrounding area. They were tasked with trying to track whatever may have crawled out from within the grave.

All that the Princesses were able to determine was that the Amulet was not there, nor was Trixie’s body. Celestia explained to Twilight what had happened that night in the archives, how they had determined the Amulet came to Ponyville due to the straight path of destruction it took upon breaking out of the vault. Neither her nor Luna could say what the Amulet might want with Trixie’s body, but it was safe to assume it was nothing good.

Despite the heavy rains that night, The Guards were able to find a series of tracks leading out of the cemetery and winding off to the Everfree Forest. They were not able to trace them beyond the very edge of that accursed place. Guards, Princesses, and Elements regrouped shortly thereafter for the journey back to town.

“Now what?” Applejack, always straight to the point, was the one who started the debate. “Ah mean, what can we do now?” Nopony really knew how to answer.

“It’s not an easy decision, Applejack,” Princess Celestia eventually answered. “The Elements are instruments of balance, but they can’t do anything unless they are in the presence of an imbalance to correct.” She spared the Everfree a look and a grimace.

“Then why aren’t we looking for the Amulet?” Rainbow Dash asked calmly. In other time, she would be recklessly trying to do something, no questions asked, but she would never allow herself to be like that again. “I mean, it’s a powerful magic that practically radiates dark magic. How hard can it be to track? Shouldn’t we be looking everywhere?”

“We’re afraid it’s not as simple a matter as that,” Luna answered this time, feeling it was her responsibility to help ease her sister’s weight. “Any tracking spell we already tried has been clouded by a primal darkness surrounding the Amulet, which also protects it physically by making it only detectable to those whom--” Princess Luna interrupted herself, remembering how Celestia asked her to be careful when talking with the Elements. After checking no one was asking questions, she proceeded. “We’re hoping you may offer a suggestion, or at least bring a different perspective on the matter.”

“Why?” Just then did Twilight’s curiosity manage to overcome her inner sorrow. “We don’t know anything about the Amulet.”

“But you know Trixie.” Unexpectedly, it was Princess Celestia who answered. “For better or worse, the Amulet is bound to her now, and you were the closest friends she ever had at the end.” That thought hit the six of them, hard. Even if they enjoyed becoming friends with her, the idea of somepony being so alone that only a life threatening event would draw her close to anypony was too saddening. Rainbow Dash in particular felt the worst for all of it.

They kept their trot silent and uneventful, until they reached the Golden Oak Library. There, the unnerving visage of the unexpected was awaiting for them. The main door was marked by three claw like cuts. Next to it, following a clear path, more and more claw marks climbed the tree’s bark, until disappearing over the balcony of Twilight’s room.

“Spike!” Twilight cried. She didn’t need a second to understand it and immediately rushed towards the door. “Spike is in there!”

Her short race was cut by Princess Celestia’s protective wing placed in front of her.

“No, Twilight Sparkle.” Twilight looked up at her mentor’s face. “This is dangerous.” Celestia’s expression was something Twilight have never seen: fear.

Before anyone could stop her again, Twilight cast the teleportation spell and disappeared from sight.

With a flash of light, she materialized again in the library’s main room. Expecting the unexpected, Twilight immediately lit up her horn and started to look around her. The place was almost as they left it except for the lights being off. She called again for Spike, but there was no answer. Twilight grew worried at this, starting to move quicker around the place. The atmosphere started to feel too cold for her, as if the place was sealed away from the heat in the outside.

Twilight’s hooves hit something. She looked down and her eyes caught a book thrown at the floor. Focusing more magic into her horn, she lit up more of the room and gasped in horror at what she saw. There was a trail of destruction through the library, books tossed off shelves in what looked like a running battle. She could clearly see where it led; the open door of the basement.

Standing at the top of the steps, Twilight could hear agitated, frightened breathing. Ignoring the banging on the Library’s door, she called down into the darkness for Spike. Once more, she received no answer. She was about to turn and open the Library’s door when she thought she heard a voice, faint, calling her name.

“Spike!” she shouted. “I’m coming!” Whatever she may have been afraid was lurking in the basement, her concern for Spike’s safety was stronger. She took off down the steps even as the front door burst open in an aura of golden magic.

As Twilight’s island of light in the darkness descended down the stairs, she could see all kind of cuts and marks over the walls. She surprised herself looking for blood too, and the fact she didn’t find it helped to ease her fears. Twilight was so focused on the walls that the stair’s last step came as a surprise, almost making her lose her balance. She called yet again for Spike and this time a soft whimper answered, not too far from her. Focusing her magic even more, she managed to extend the light enough to cover most of the basement.

Thanks to the light, Twilight found Spike sitting in the floor, with his back against the wall, shivering and hugging his own tail. She trotted over him and hugged him tight, with the intention of never leaving him alone again. He returned the hug to Twilight in the same way, but his silence unnerved her. She softly pulled Spike away enough to look down at him.

“Spike,” she asked, already fearing the answer. “What happened?”

Spike’s only reply was a shaking claw directed behind her. Only then did Twilight realize that Spike’s breathing was almost inaudible, and even agitated, she could have never heard it all the way from the main floor to the basement. Fueled by fears too dark for her own sake, Twilight turned just in time to catch sight of two glowing-red reptilian eyes in the dark, before her magic shed light over the beast that has been lurking in the shadows all this time.

“ROAR!”

It pounced at her.