“Here we are in Manehattan!” said Suri as they got off the train.
“I know, Trixie,” grumbled Sunset.
“Hey! I didn’t say it!” protested Trixie.
“Oh,” said Sunset, “sorry.” She turned to Suri. “I know, Suri!”
“But don’t you think that it’s such an amazing city full of history and culture?”
There was a pause. “No,” said Sunset bluntly.
“Your loss,” said Suri.
“Look, the only reason I’m even here is because it’ll look bad if I don’t see the play after I got sent all these tickets.”
“Speak for yourself!” said Trixie. “I happen to be a connoisseur of the dramatic arts.”
“I thought the play was a comedy?” asked Flim.
“Okay, can someone explain to me what’s going on?” asked Lightning Dust. “Why are we here? What’s this play?”
“How do you not know why we’re here?!” demanded Sunset.
“I’ve been out of town the last few days,” said Lightning Dust. “I just got back and then you grabbed me onto a train to Manehattan. I didn’t ask anything more until now because I thought the whole thing was some kind of surprise birthday present.”
“It’s not your birthday,” said Trixie.
“Which is why I was so confused,” explained Lightning Dust.
Sunset made a face but decided to explain. “Okay. Apparently Sombra actually did land a major part in a musical called A Streetcart Misnamed Chesire, and I received a bunch of tickets for it in the mail, which I assume he sent me. Although I’m not really that interested, it’d look pretty bad if we didn’t go see it after being sent the tickets, so we’re here. Well, except for Suri. She’s here for some fashion competition or whatever that happens to be coincidentally on the same day, so she’s coming along for that. I assume that’s why I only got six tickets.”
“And I’m going to win that competition!” declared Suri. “Suri Polomare will finally receive the recognition she deserves!”
“So,” said Gilda, “you’re going to get absolutely no recognition?”
Suri glared at Gilda.
“Hey,” said Gilda, “don’t get angry at me. You just straight up walked into that one.”
“Honestly, you really did,” said Trixie.
Suri growled. “Look, the point is that this will hopefully get me attention and let me sell more stuff.”
“Wait, stuff?” asked Trixie. “I love stuff! What kind of stuff are you selling?”
“Uh, clothes?” asked Suri.
“Darn it, you got me all excited,” complained Trixie. “I was hoping it would be ‘stuff’ of a more interesting variety.”
“Whatever!” snapped Suri. “Let’s just get to our hotel room!”
“Don’t you mean hotel rooms?” asked Gilda.
“No, I mean hotel room,” said Suri. “You think I’m going to pay extra for multiple rooms?”
Gilda turned to Sunset. “You went along with this?”
“My dislike of dealing with all of you is marginally outweighed by my desire to save money,” said Sunset.
The group reached the hotel. They then inadvertently went on a grand adventure that involved a breach in time and space, but the whole thing ended up causing the timeline to reset so that the grand adventure never happened, thereby making everything in this sentence without a point.
“Excellent!” declared Suri. “Now I just have to check in for entering the Fashion Week competition! And once I win, everypony will want to buy things from me! Hahahaha!” Lightning flashed in the background as she cackled.
“How did that lightning flash indoors?” wondered Flim.
“Enh, it seemed appropriate,” said Lightning Dust as she put the cloud that caused the lightning away.
“You could’ve hurt somepony with that!” said Sunset. “Or, perhaps more specifically, you could have hurt me!”
“Oh come on,” said Lightning Dust, “this lightning is completely harmless. Just watch as–”
Lightning Dust suddenly found herself struck by the lightning. She collapsed onto the floor, her hair blackened. “Okay, maybe not so harmless. I guess I forgot to put the safety on.”
“Hey!” said Suri. “You should be paying attention to my needs! This fashion competition is important, you know!” She sniffed sadly. “I would have thought my dear friends would be more supportive.”
“Okay, there are so many things wrong with that sentence I’m not sure where to even begin,” said Sunset.
“Which sentence?” asked Suri.
“All of them!”
“You know, you should really lighten up,” said Flam. “I’ve read that an overly cynical outlook on life is bad for your health.”
“Maybe if it didn’t seem like the world was out to make me miserable, I wouldn’t have such a cynical outlook!”
“Now, see, that’s exactly what I’m talking about,” said Flam. “That cynical outlook of yours. The only reason you believe the world is out to get you is because you already think it is. By the way, where’d Suri go?”
“She went off to register for the Fashion Weekday or whatever it was called,” said Lightning Dust. “I think she got bored of us not caring about what she was doing.”
“None of them have any appreciation for the finer arts,” muttered Suri to herself as she went to the stage with the outfits she made. “I should find somepony new to hang out with that does have such an appreciation.”
Suri suddenly realized that she had found some ponies that had an appreciation for such things, namely the other contestants who were standing on stage in a row. They don’t count, she thought, they’re the competition. Still, she took her place in the row. There was a pause.
“Okay,” said Suri, “are we supposed to just stand here while we wait?”
“Pretty much.”
“Yeah.”
“Looks like it.”
Some waiting later…
After the aforementioned waiting, a white unicorn suddenly ran onto the stage. Luckily for her, Prim Hemline, the host of the event, only showed up a few seconds later. “Miss Rarity, how is it that all your competitors are here half an hour early and yet you arrive a few seconds before we begin?”
“Uh… just lucky, I guess,” said Rarity with a nervous chuckle.
Lucky her, thought Suri to herself, she didn’t have to just stand around here waiting.
Lost in her thoughts, Suri hadn’t been paying attention to what what Prim Hemline had been saying before she finished. “The rest of you must go home early. So sad. Dismissed!”
The rest of the prospective fashionistas departed, but Suri used the opportunity to zoom up to Rarity. “Hi!” she said. “Remember me? We met briefly at Shining Armor and Cadance’s wedding?”
Rarity groaned. “Oh, right, that wedding. Tell me, why would Chrysalis be complaining about the state of the wedding dress? It wasn’t even her wedding, and the whole thing was a ruse so she could enact that convoluted plan of hers! So the dress was completely irrelevant to her! So why force me to stay up all night changing it if it wasn’t going to matter?! Do you know how tiring that was?! All for something that turned out to not even matter! What was the point?!”
Suri stared at Rarity.
“Sorry,” said Rarity quickly, “just some frustrating memories.”
“No, Chrysalis has that effect on anypony she interacts with,” said Suri. “Which makes you wonder how she’s still so popular among the general populace. Maybe it’s just relief that we can actually understand our ruler. Or the fact that most don’t ever have to deal with her personally.”
“Well,” said Rarity, “it was nice catching up with you. Unfortunately, I really do have to get my things together, particularly as I was in such a rush to get here. Certainly nice to see you again!”
“Yes… nice to see you too,” said Suri in as honest a voice as she could.
Then she got an idea. An awful idea. Suri got a wonderful, awful idea! However, she realized that the idea of stealing the presents from Whoville didn’t make any sense at all, particularly because she had no idea what Whoville was. She became so confused by this odd thought that she unexpectedly found herself asking, “Still, do you need a hoof with anything?”
“Well,” said Rarity, “I could use some help getting my dresses backstage.”
Brain, why do you do this to me? thought Suri.
After some transportation of clothes to the backstage, Suri noticed an interesting-looking fabric Rarity had used. Then she got an idea. An awful idea. Suri got a wonderful, awful idea! However, this time, that idea was actually relevant to the situation. “Your collection is gorgeous. Particularly this piece of fabric here! In fact, this could actually work great with my culottes. Would you mind terribly if I took a swatch?”
“Oh, not at all!” said Rarity. “Here, I have loads extra.”
“You’re sure?” asked Suri.
“Positive! Well, it’s been nice to meet you again, but I really must finish my preparations and I am a bit late as it… is?” Rarity felt confused as she finished her sentence, because Suri had taken the moment to leave. “Guess she was in a hurry too.”
“It’s the perfect plan!” declared Suri to herself. “Use the fabric she lent me to completely redo my line! Then they’ll be way better, and because she’s going last in the competition due to being late, it’ll look like she ripped off me! Hahahaha!”
Lightning flashed in the background as she cackled. She stopped laughing and frowned. “Lightning Dust! I told you to stop that!”
“Actually, that was me,” said Gilda from atop the cloud. “Doing that is actually rather fun.”
“Well, you stop it too! Go away! I’m busy!”
“You mean busy with that incredibly stupid plan of yours?”
Suri glared at Gilda. “How is it stupid?”
“In regards to thinking it’d make it look like Rarity stole it from you, why would they think that? You indicate that it’s due to her going later in the competition, but for that to work, it would have to be plausible that she would notice it in the middle of the competition and then change her designs. I’m not sure how long the competition is, but it’s certainly not long enough to manage that, and the judges would certainly realize that. So the order really doesn’t give any indication as to who ripped off who. And because you’d have to do a rush job even when doing it overnight, yours would obviously end up being inferior to the originals, as much more time was spent on the originals. So any comparison between the two would make yours seem worse, thereby guaranteeing she places higher than you, making it impossible for you to take first place. I mean, duh.”
Suri stared at Gilda, dumbfounded.
“Wow, I talked for a while there,” said Gilda. “Anyway, have fun with your stupid plan!” She quickly flew out the door. There was a pause, then she flew back in and grinned sheepishly before grabbing the cloud and leaving again.
Suri stared out the door for a little while longer, then finally was able to get her thoughts together to the point she could form coherently sentences. “Okay, new plan,” she said to herself, “use the time to make lesser improvements and try to win the contest that way.”
A rather abrupt transition later…
“Okay,” said Sunset as the group left the auditorium, “I’ll admit it. That play was actually decent. And wow does Sombra have a great singing voice.”
“I never would’ve imagined he could hit all those high notes,” said Trixie.
“I almost regret the fact we weren’t able to scalp those tickets successfully,” said Flim.
“Okay, now that we’re done with the play, there’s no reason to bother sticking around this city anymore,” said Sunset. “Is everypony ready to head home?”
“Isn’t Suri still at that fashion show or whatever?” asked Lightning Dust.
“Well, she was supposed to be here by now. I vote for leaving her behind!” said Sunset.
“Nah, that seems unfair,” said Gilda.
“Because it’s mean?”
“Because I accidentally left some of my stuff with her, and I don’t want to leave without it.”
“Okay, then, we’ll leave both of you behind,” said Sunset. “Problem solved!”
“We can’t leave without Gilda,” said Flam.
“Dare I ask why?” asked Sunset.
“You just did,” said Flim.
“Huh?”
“You asked if you would dare ask why, but in doing so you asked why, thereby answering your question.”
Sunset closed her eyes, counted to five, then opened her eyes. “All right. I guess I will dare to ask why. Why?”
“Because I have the tickets for the train ride home,” said Gilda. “You know, you should really lock those things up better, or else someone far more nefarious than I could take them.”
“I appreciate the fact you correctly said ‘than I’ rather than the more common but incorrect ‘than me,’” said Trixie.
“Fine! Whatever!” snapped Sunset. “Let’s just go back to the hotel, grab Suri, then get out of this city before my frustration completely undoes the enjoyment I got out of that play. And if she’s not done with whatever she’s doing, we’ll just grab your stuff from her and leave.”
“Works for me!” responded Gilda. “Okay, I’d assume she’s still at the fashion thingy, so let’s just go there.”
And so the group returned to the hotel, having absolutely no wacky misadventures on the way there. When they got there, they noticed Suri waving goodbye to someone as they entered a taxi. “See you later! I’ll be sure to contact you if I need anything!” she called.
Gilda went up to her as the taxi left. “Who were you talking to?”
“I–” started Suri.
“Actually, never mind that,” interrupted Sunset, relishing the opportunity to interrupt someone else for a change. “Why were you so late? You haven’t even left the hotel!”
“Well, I kind of won… sort of,” said Suri. “That resulted in meeting all of those fashion designers, as was the grand prize, which took time.”
“How do you ‘sort of’ win?” asked Flam.
“It was a tie,” said Suri. “So it is only a sort of win.”
“I thought there was supposed to be just one winner?”
“Well, there were three judges, and after figuring out the top two, each was to vote for one contestant, with whoever got two or more votes winning. One judge voted for me, then the other voted for the other contestant. But before the third could vote, they suddenly passed out and haven’t woken up yet. As a result, it ended up being a tie.”
“What caused them to pass out?” asked Gilda.
“Apparently, a major case of cardiomegaly. Their heart swelled three sizes or something.”
“Okay, so are we all ready to go? Are we done asking questions?” demanded Sunset.
“You should calm down,” said Flim. “You’ll live longer.”
“In fact, speaking of living longer, we’ve stumbled upon this great anti-aging–” started Flam before being interrupted.
“Are we done?!”
“Huh?” said Suri. “Oh, yeah, pretty much.”
“Then let’s go!” declared Sunset.
“So, anyway,” said Gilda as the group started for the train station, “who were you talking to?”
“Oh, just the one I ended up tying with. Rarity apparently came away with the idea that I was way nicer than I actually am, so she said to contact her if I needed anything. Now I’m owed a favor! I’m sure I can think of some great way to cash in on that and come ahead! Hahahaha!”
There was a pause. “Oh, come on!” said Suri. “I actually wanted you to do that lightning thing this time!”
“Enh, I thought that gag was getting a little stale,” said Lightning Dust.
“Aw, it sounds like you made a friend,” said Gilda.
“More like someone who I can leech off the generosity of,” said Suri.
“Exactly!” said Gilda. “A friend!”
At this point they got onto the train and sat down. “Finally!” said Sunset. “Though I am left wondering who actually sent the tickets.”
“I thought it was Sombra?” asked Flam. “That’s who you said it was.”
“I thought it was him, too, but I couldn’t get in contact with him after the performance, and if he had sent them you’d think he’d want that. I wonder who did send them to me.”
As Sunset reached her house, she found the all-too-familiar mailmare waiting there for her. “I’ve got an important message for you!” she said.
“Have you just been waiting there in front of my house for me to come back?” asked Sunset.
“Pretty much! You took a while, by the way. Anyway, there was a mixup of the mail. You got tickets to a play that were supposed to go to somepony else.”
“Who originally ordered them, then?” wondered Sunset. “And why didn’t they realize beforehand they got the wrong package, if they were expecting the tickets?”
“Oh, they moved away before they were delivered,” said the mailmare.
“If they were moving after ordering tickets, why didn’t they set up a forwarding address or something?”
“That’s a rather long story.”
“How long?” asked Sunset.
“About twenty-two minutes.”
“Never mind, then,” said Sunset. “But if it was a mixup, what was I supposed to get?”
“What you were supposed to get were the adhesive medical strips. Got them right here!”
“I never ordered any adhesive medical strips!”
“Are you sure?” asked the mailmare. “Because I’m pretty sure I sent them to you.”
“Wait, you sent them?”
“Yep! I figured you’d need them!”
“Why would I need adhesive medical strips?!” demanded Sunset.
“Huh, good point,” said the mailmare. “Why did I do that?”
Not caring enough to wait for a definite answer, Sunset decided to walk into her house. Unfortunately, she tripped and slammed headfirst into the door. “Ow…” she muttered before collapsing.
The mailmare’s eyes widened. “Oh, yeah, that was why!”