The world was black. Nothingness surrounded me. I couldn’t feel anything but I could hear a voice. “Oh, my goodness. Look at you, a male, and what a shape you’re in?” A disembodied male voice jovially said.
“Who are you? What do you want? Where am I?”
“Oh puh-lease,” the voice moaned, “every creature asks me that. I refuse to answer such simple questions,” the voice huffed.
“Then where aren’t I?” I joked.
A few seconds of silence. “Hrm, intriguing,” the voice said in my right ear. It tickled and I tried to move to brush it away, but couldn’t move. “You’re different. You’re unique. You’re,” the voice’s tone bellowed, sending a terror through me in it’s deep, guttural, venomous tone, “chaotic.”
My body flushed with goosebumps and I tried to move away but I wasn’t in control of my body. “What’re you doing to me? Why can’t I move my body? Wait, where are… uh, where aren’t we. Why aren’t we?”
I heard a pleasurable groan. “The way you speak is like nails on a chalkboard going through a wood chipper; I love it. Please, say something else.”
Who the hell is this guy?
“Moi? I am simply an observer from another realm, higher than yours,” he said flatly.
“What the hell does that mean?” I asked.
“Well, imagine you’re reading a book. When in reality someone is reading you reading a book, and that person has a book. In that book is a person reading a book-”
“Okay. So you’re the guy with a book reading me?”
“Oh, why thank you for the thought, however I detest reading. I prefer to wait for the movie version.”
I heard a cliche woman screaming, then a series of violins striking cords, then a series of, tuba’s?
“Some sound effects? What’s that mean?”
“Oh, just my personal favorite theme song. Something to remind me of the finer things in existences endless swirling reality of sanity. However, I digress,” he said. I heard a snap, like, snapping fingers. I felt like I was under a warm sun, on a beach. Sand was under my feet and I heard birds call, but it was still pitch black. When I moved to touch my head I realized I was in my armor.
“Uhh,” I groaned, “my head. It hurts, a lot.”
“Yes, that happens when one is in a trans-dimensional rift caused by an experimental bomb designed to create life. Trust me, after a few thousand times, it tickles.” I felt a claw drag its way down my spine. I leaned away but to no avail as the claw reached my lower back.
I reached to where the release latch was, I was gonna get a look at where I was, and if this voice, who was fucking with me, could be out there, I had to see it.
“Uh, uh, uh, not without the magic word. If you take off your helmet, then you won’t be much use to me. You ssssee,” he hissed, and I felt a snake like tongue tickle my left ear sending chills through me, “when I saw the rift open to your world I took a peek. Oh, such beautiful insanity you creatures have to offer.
“You, humans, was it? Killed yourselves trying to not kill yourselves. Bombs that gave a blink of my reality into yours. Lives designed and conditioned to fight, mentally formed from before birth. Tell me, what is your name?”
“Mocha.”
“What is your real name?”
“M-Muh,” I cleared my throat, “Moah, Kuh…”
“Ah, and what of your friends?” the voice hissed, a snap of fingers and I could see my squad, standing at attention, eyes closed, “what are their names?”
“Markus, Cadence, Janice-”
“Oh,” the voice tittered mirthfully, “no no no, you’ve known them for at least fifteen years. They have full names, right? You’re family, practically,” I felt a fat furry hand on my shoulder, “now. What. Are. Their. Names?” He said, a white orb appearing behind each of them, one by one, before stopping over behind Cadence.
“Guys!” I shouted, “get away from that thing!” They didn’t move. Time dragged on so I relented.
“His name is Markus, she’s Janice-”
“Oh how drole, again with this. What would you say if I told you that you never met these before a few months ago?”
“I’d call you a fucking psychotic liar!”
Another giggle. “Oh, you flatterer you. The only one you have to be upset with are the ones who sent you to me.”
“What the hell do you mean?” I shouted. I could feel myself tensing for a fight.
Several minutes of silence passed before I heard a snore.
“Are you fucking sleeping?!”
A yawn, but from a female this time. “Oh, certainly you don’t mean me? I’m more than willing to listen to some creature drone on and on, but I have better things to do… Oh me, oh my. Really? He is? It is? Hrm, well, if he’s half as interesting as you suggest. Greetings, hehe, Mocha. Is that really his name?”
She laughed at my name and had a silent chat with that other voice? What weirdness was this?
“Very well, We will each give you a gift, but we won’t tell you what it is. You have to find out yourself, and,” the voice to a more regal tone, “may the odds be ever in your favor.”
“Now, now, now, dearest,” the male voice spoke again, “don’t forget to wipe his memory, it’ll be so much more fun to watch.”
They started at a giggle and before I knew it were at a full, screaming, maniacal laugh.
“Is this how Zombie Shakespeare dies?” I quoted comically taking a pose from Hamlet...