I Don't Know How to Use Doors

by The Real Darkness


Priceless Items

I awoke from my slumber in the dead of night. My internal clock was still working, so I suppose I shouldn't be too riled up. I peeked out the window, and indeed, the sun had just set, it was now my kinds time to operate. I jumped out the window and landed gently on the ground, hanging from tree limbs as I went. I came around to in front of the library door.

No guards? How odd.

I went to work, finding it locked and within a few seconds it opened for me. I poked it ajar before slipping in, leaving it barely cracked for emergencies. I looked about the large library, already noting objects made of gold and silver. I went about, collecting candlesticks, small pieces of no importance, things that wouldn't be missed. But something even better glittered in moonlight...a shiny gold.

I saw a gold case, made of solid gold, a wonderful thing that I could not steal. I went over to it and peeked inside. Five necklaces and a tiara were resting in the case, bathed in the pale moonlight. The upper left held an orange apple gem in it, the upper right harbored a red lightning bolt, the bottom left housed a light blue balloons, the bottom right kept a purple diamond shaped gem, and the very bottom displayed a pink butterfly. But the tiara caught my eye the most, a large magenta colored gem that took the shape of a geometric star sat atop the great curve of the tiara. All of the jewelry were made of solid gold, the gem adorning them was quite real too.

These will definitely be missed...but it's worth it. A librarian doesn't have the means to guard these anyways, I'll help out.

I began to get to work, six locks were located on the case, all seemed extremely advanced, like no other lock. But any lock is able to be picked. I crouched and got to work, unlocking the first, spending several minutes, hours, I couldn't recall. All that mattered was getting the loot and definitely getting out of this town, I needed a bigger city. I finished picking the locks and looked out the window, hours must have gone by, at least two or three and I began to rethink my plan.

If I was going to get out of here, then I needed to know where to go.

I looked over the library, seeing a history section, but reading would take too long, nearby, I spotted a map of the land.

Equestria, how fitting.

I quickly looked over, noticing Canterlot in the center of the map, it must be a trading hub, especially since it is located next to a river. This meant money and a new life for me, a place where there probably are more like me. I took the map from it's frame, cutting it out and rolling it up and sticking it to the inside of my cape. I quickly went back to the jewelry and opened the case. A loud alarm went off and my mind raced. I took all the pieces of fortune and ran out the door, slamming it shut. I hurried into the attic and gathered all the supplies I could carry before hopping out and heading further into this small town.

~~~

After a while, all the ponies had awoken and the train station seemed to be closed, dawn was coming and I couldn't leave. But the next train that arrived seemed to have been from Canterlot, thanks to all the shouting that the ticket exchanger was doing over the microphone in the outdoor station. I swiftly made my way over and checked the engine room, seeing that my opportunity was upon me, the workers all confused with the train's demands, I stepped in and hid among the coal, a dirty place, but this would be the only way.

"So, where going back to Canterlot now?"

"Yes, but nopony knows why."

"As long as I get paid and see my foals after work."

So...there was quite a huge deal going on after I stole these elegant masterpieces, which meant they were worth more on the black markets. The train began moving several minutes later and I found myself uncomfortable and being tossed around a bit, but quite hidden, the dawn becoming noon as we arrived in Canterlot. The minute the train stopped, I bolted out and ran down streets.

"Creature! Stop!" I heard a gruff deep voice and looked back to see a blue and white maned unicorn? I never got a good look at any of these ponies since I stayed a good distance away or something was obstructing my view. This unicorn from fairy tales had continued to chase me, dressed in a kind of gold armor and holding a spear.

I continued running, quickly climbing and taking to the rooftops, running all the way into the depths of the huge city before hunkering down in an alley, where shadows hid me. I found my way inside an empty abandoned house using my handy window tool. Now I could breathe.

There was ages and ages old furniture all about me, dust becoming an urban jungle of the dark home. The only light let into the room of the building I set up temporary refuge in came through the small crack left in the window from me. I waited around in this abandoned building before making my way outside, climbing up to the roof and looking about, trying to look for a place to hunker down or a place to...relieve of burdening weight from markets.

After a few hours, the sun had hid behind a cloud and shadows darkened. I figured now would be the time to continue moving, these artifacts were very valuable and I must keep moving if I wish to keep them. I noticed a castle far off in the distance while I ran from rooftop to rooftop, being ever so quiet. I had noticed the same two ponies from the library, accompanying four others; an orange and blonde maned, a uniform pink, a white with a well groomed purple mane, and a sky blue with rainbow colors in its mane. I caught on that they were traveling the main road to the castle. I continued on my jumping journey until I came upon what seemed to be an area meant for the...lower...citizens of this place. I easily stepped down off a wooden roof that used to be stone and landed in an alley way. I hung around the entrance to it, watching ponies come and go.

I noticed a shady one moving past me and I quickly bonked him hard, but not too hard on the head with blackjack, he was dazed sure enough. I drug him into the alley and put a hand over his mouth.

"Now listen...I am no monster, I am a thief from another world who just wants to continue stealing and making profits." I spoke quiet quickly and silently, taking in another breath,"I need you to tell me with the fence is, you dare speak a word of health and my trusty club and smash your skull."

I let go of his mouth, keeping him pinned, he was still a bit dazed.

"I...the fence is not here..." He responded in a hoarse voice.

"Don't play games with me...I am carrying valuable items and I need them sold before I get caught." I shook him hard, banging his head against the wooden wall.

"We really don't have a fence."

This pony was being quite foolish and I had enough of it. I took blackjack from the side of my thigh once more and bashed against his ribs, hearing a crack.

"You're not the only one who knows where he is, so tell me now before I kill you and find the next." I threatened, making sure it sounded real, even though I would never kill without a truly good reason.

"Fine...fine...I'll lead you to his spot." Finally he talked.

"I'll be up on the roofs, you try anything and I'll come down like a hawk and bust your head like a vase."

I quickly climbed, watching him slowly move, injured from my two strikes on him. He kept moving through alleys and smaller streets, probably to avoid being caught with me above him. After a few minutes, he stopped in front of a tavern. He looked up to me and whispered quietly.

"He's in there, in the basement, behind some wine barrels. Now please just leave me alone." I let him limp off, most likely trying to find medical attention.

I jumped down and entered, the door already slightly ajar, I moved silently, watching the view points of all the ponies in the tavern, about three or four customers. I moved behind the bartender, under the cover of the serving counter, I swooped and kept going to the other end, walking down some stairs and into the basement. Taverns usually kept access to all the alcohol in a place where only the bartender could get to easily. I continued down, hearing some soft breathing. I continued and followed the noise, moving through barrels of wine, shelves of liquor and much more before I saw a makeshift bed behind some wine barrels. I quietly went up to the pony and clamped my hand to his mouth, making him wake up immediately.

"Do not make a sound...I am a thief from another world, looking to sell some stolen goods to you. I dug through a satchel I kept on my side and showed him one of the five necklaces and his eyes went wide. I slowly removed my hand and he began to speak.

"That's one of the Elements of Harmony, an artifact used to protect Equestria. That is priceless." He spoke softly.

"Good, then it'll look great in my collection of the others. Now...what will you give me for these?" I showed him the real loot I intended to sell, making quite a good bit of gold...er bits, bits is what they called them.

I felt quite a lot lighter as my bag had been emptied.

"In my world, I had someone who would make these special arrows and sell them to me..." I showed him my bow and handed each one of my arrows over to him.

"The red tipped one causes fire and is just a chemical reaction of a metal and a nonmetal reacting violently to cause flames. The blue tipped is just an arrow with a metal container filled with water that opens quickly when it hits an object. The green tipped is filled with a noxious gas that causes living things to choke. I'm sure you know about the broadhead, blunt, and sawtooth arrows. I need you or you to find someone to make these, I will pay for them the same rate I payed back at home." I explained, trying to keep it short, but there was no short way to describe my tools.

"I'll see what I can do, you must be good, you brought in a lot of loot, so I believe I can trust you to make me more money." He spoke. He was just letting his avarice control his words, fences usually just wanted more and more money.

"If you have any specific job for me, let me know, I can get it done easier and faster than these other ponies that you buy off of." I responded, making sure to set up a lasting business relationship. He walked over to the wall of the basement, where a metal vent was.

"Two taps and then a scratch, I'll open it for you so you can get in quicker and without dealing with the customers up top." He spoke and opened the vent, sliding it up.

I easily slipped through it to the other side,"Pleasure doing business."

I then had realized I never caught his name, but it's best if he remains anonymous to me, I at least knew his face and his body. A dirt matted dark beige color with a well trimmed down black mane and tail that were also dirty and ruffled, some stubble adorning his jaw as well, and his mark on his flank was a small russet bag, of course. I would never forget this image.

I quickly climbed out of the alley to the roof, an hour or two had gone by and the sun was on the other side of the city, shadows being casted down from the walls. I still had these Elements of Harmony on me and I decided to head to the castle to see if there was anything to steal that was easily obtained, or to find out what those six ponies were doing here, they were obviously important. I quickly began traveling to the castle, trying to reach before sunset and I did so, being tired and thirsty I had stopped along the way to infiltrate worker's houses and drink from water that came from their sinks and sometimes eating their food. I did reach the walls of the great castle and looked over, noting the patrol routes of guards for a while before moving close to one of the outside buildings, a gardener's shed. I quickly began moving fast, using foliage as cover. Day sneaking was not an easy feat as there were no shadows to work with my black adornments. I reach the wall of a less patrolled area and scaled the wall, climbing up and going through one of the windows that had no glass.I found myself in a maid's quarters, completely empty. I moved silently, heading downstairs. The throne room must be on the first floor to have easy access for nobles and a secure way for the ruler to speak to them.

I rarely had to hide, most guards were posted in stationary places, few patrolled around corridors, maids and servants were easy to hide from as they kept their backs to me, unknowing of what was going on behind them. I continued to sneak my way down stairs and through hallways, I had a mental map going for me in case of emergencies. I snuck up to apparently was the balcony of the throne room and I quickly approached from the front, zooming with speed up to the guards, bonking both very roughly on their heads, causing both to fall unconscious. I dragged them out of plain view and carefully entered the throne room. I peeked off the balcony and spied the six ponies, many guards and two...horses that were adorned with long horns and great wings, one blue, reminding me of the night that is my friend, the other white, reminding me of the sun, both had tattoos that matched my thoughts. The blue ones colors were uniform with her mane, but the white's mane held green, pink, and blue in it, both manes and both tails were waving with an unseen and unfelt wind. I continued to watch.

"Do you have any idea where the Elements could have gone off to?" The white large pegasus unicorn horse thing asked.

"No, princess, I'm sorry."

The blue winged unicorn went to the white and leaned in to her ear, whispering, I found that I had caught her eye.

I quickly jumped from the balcony and landed on the stairs up to the throne, dropping a flash bomb and running off to the main doors. There was no way for me to calmly slip away, so I had to cause a ruckus to surprise them and indeed I did, they were all dazed and blinded for a while when I slammed open one of the great doors and ran out of the lobby to the castle fields. I was soon caught staring at a whole regime of guards, flying pegasi, unicorns who had their horns glowing, and normal ponies whom held spears. And all of them...did not look happy to see me.

"Lovely time, isn't it. Soon to be romantic, sun setting..." I quickly ran back in, drew my bow when I went around the corner, dodging magic bolts of some energy. I grabbed a choke arrow and drew back, landing it right at the entrance, the guards that rushed in were coughing badly.

The ponies that were stunned by the flash bomb ran to the lobby to see me, I fired another chokes arrows at my feet, making is somewhat difficult to see me and harder to chase me as I held my breath. I ran to the left wing of the castle, the noxious gas soon being cleared by some wind from outside. I was almost down the hall when I jumped from an upstairs window and landed outside. I kept running and running, seing the wall in sight.

I was not going to be caught today, especially with these things on me.

I ran to the shed and found myself caught in a some weird grip and I was held almost perfectly still in my position. I grabbed the bag that held the Elements of Harmony and threw them under the gardener's shed, I'd come back for them later. I was going to get them. I flew back into the castle and was quickly subdued by another odd energy, forcing me to sleep.

This was not the end of me...not yet.