HOLY FUCKBALLS I AM ALIVE!
Disclaimer: I do not own My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. It belongs to The Hub, Hasbro, Studio B, and Lauren Faust. I do not own any of these characters in any way or how, nor do I claim ownership to the pony franchise. These characters are simply my toys.
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"Only a matter of time."
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A Rainbow Cut Short
Chapter 6: Lost
A small light was illuminating the tiny room in the middle of the Apple Family's living room. The sounds of the crickets outside was only audible if the orange filly concentrated long enough and blocked out the sound of her cyan friends gentle sniffling. It would be hours before a single peep was heard, not until the roosters crowed anyway. Rainbow Dash however, had managed to wake up even Big Macintosh, who was perhaps the heaviest sleeper Rainbow herself has ever come across.
It was late. Applebloom has passed out as Big Macintosh gently ran one of his hooves through her cherry colored hair, soothing her from her rude awakening of screams from Applejacks room.
From the red to blue, Rainbow's mane was plastered to her body from her cold sweat. She trembled lightly, and occasionally opened her mouth as if to speak words, but they always seemed to become lost in her body, perhaps being blocked by the wall in her mind where memory of the incident was broken. However, based on Applejacks sightings, the wall has begun to chip away, one pebble at a time.
"Rainbow," Applejack said. She was sitting up, Rainbow being held tightly in her arms. She didn't know why, but she was lightly blushing, and through the tiny light, Rainbow's own cheeks were tinted. "You alrigh'?" she asked, gently tugging Rainbow up closer to her chest, being mindful of her cast covered legs "You gave us a mighty scare there, I'll tell ya that!" she said. It meant to sound jokingly, but it came off as dead serious.
Rainbow looked up at the earth pony holding her, her violet eyes twinkling in tears that she was trying her best not to shed. She looked like she wanted to hit Applejack, and for a moment the filly feared of the wall suddenly being broken, and Rainbow hating her.
"If... If you tell... A-anypony..." she began, but she bit her lower lip and began trembling once more, her eyes silently giving off plead.
"Course not..." Applejack mumbled, resisting the sigh of relief building in her throat. She then instantly felt guilty. Rainbow Dash needed to know how she had her entire world ripped from her. It wasn't fair to her, and all it did was put endless weight on the earth pony's shoulders that only continued to weigh her down as time passed by.
"Dash... I..." She began. Would getting the truth off her chest stop this constant guilt? Likely not, it would just dig the two deeper into this hole of guilt and lies, and before anypony had noticed, Rainbow Dash would hate her. She... She didn't know if she could handle it... If Rainbow hated her.
Rainbow whimpered gently, ever since the incident, her will to look gutsy or daring, or even have a glimmer of her former, strong self, had vanished along with her wings. The cyan pre-Pegasus tightened her hold on the earth pony.
Applejack looked over to Big Macintosh, looking for the answer of what to do from her older kin. She was looking for a single slimmer of emotion to break through his poker face. He gave away none. And starred blankly toward the two.
Applejack grumbled lightly and blew her blonde mane out of her eyes in frustration. Life was too confusing...
Applejack leaned her head down to rest on the rainbow colored mane. She was being selfish... Not only that, but a liar as well.
"AJ?" Rainbow mumbled, nuzzling her face into the orange neck. Applejack blinked and blushed slightly at the touch, but stayed silent, as it Rainbow was one of the chickens in the barn, and could be frightened in the slightest movement.
"I..." Rainbow said, not bothering to wait for the older to answer. "I hope... Y'know... you aren't mad... For me causing so much trouble... Or something..."
Applejack slowly blinked as she took a moment to process this. Rainbow... Was... Apologizing...
No... NO, she shouldn't apologize dammit! Applejack felt like hitting the former pegasus at this moment, but luckily she decided against it.
"Naw... Dash, don't say ya sorry..." she mumbled softy.
The guilt was back...
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"I'm fine." Rainbow stated, her arms folded. She had a look on her face only describable as bored. Every once in a while she would shoot a strike of a glare at her orange filly friend sitting next to her, as if to blame her for bringing her back to the place she hated the most.
Applejack tried her best to ignore her friends grumbling, but was finding it more and more difficult the more time drug on. She was about to simply tell her to shut the buck up before somepony beat her to the punch, albeit in a nicer way.
"Miss Dash, this is not an issue you can just shrug off as nothing more than an abnormal nightmare.". The doctor stated, raising a brow at her "Do you understand this could be your own subconscious..."
"Yeah, yeah, subconscious shmubconscious, it was just a dream," Rainbow Dash growled out, her maroon eyes whipping toward the unicorn "They happened here in the hospital too..." She grew quiet, as if she wasn't able to say loudly she had gotten frightened in a hospital.
"Rainbow..." Applejack said, voice hesitant, mixed with annoyance "The doctor ain't gonna bite ya, he's only tryin' ta help ya, ya hear?"
A deathly glare was fired in her direction, a slight blush had risen to the cyan pony's cheeks "S-Shut up!" she cried out. The closer Applejack looked into the others eyes, the more she realized they were darting around the room. Rainbow wasn't upset with her... She was...
"Miss Dash, your friend is telling the truth." The unicorns eyes were stern, yet held a trace of sympathy. "Perhaps what happened to you is still in your head, this nightmare could help us..."
"What if..." Rainbow mumbled, looking down into her wheel chair, staring at the casts incasing her lower legs "What if I don't want to know what happened?"
The question made Applejack tense up. Should... Should she feel relieved, or dumbfounded at the words uttered by the pre-pegasus. "Hey, Dash, whats up, you've been botherin' me all week 'bout this..." That question seemed safe enough.
The doctor simply cocked up a brow, as if questioning the other's motives. He betrayed not a single emotion, as if he had expected nothing less. "I understand how you might feel, your friend tells me the dream did you in a good one, according to her,"
Another glare shot Applejack's way, although this time it was almost... Pitiful...
"But if you could tell us anything at all you remember, anything at all, it would help us greatly." The unicorn mumbled.
"I told you... I don't remember anything...". Rainbow was being difficult once more.
"Nothing?" He mumbled.
"Y'know... For some place like this, you people aren't quick to believe in your patients." Rainbow mumbled, glancing down. Applejack stared at her. She was trembling.
"Please, just try and recall..."
"Nothing!" Rainbow Dash shouted suddenly. Applejack realized that this entire time, Rainbow has been covering up her fear with anger... It finally broke. "I don't remember a-a-anything from the dream when I w-woke up! Ya hear?"
"Miss Dash..."
Rainbow slammed her her hooves over her ears, eyes welling in those damn tears once more. She bit her lip shut, and made tiny whimpering noises "Shut up..." she begged.
"Miss..."
Applejack stood up on all fours. Rainbow Dash quieted down her whimpering for several moments as she stared at her orange friend. The earth pony glanced at her before taking off her hat and placing it on the other's head, covering her watering eyes. "'Tis okay Dash," she mumbled softly. "Ain't nopony gonna push ya if ya uncomfortable..."
"I don't r-remember." Rainbow whimpered out, pulling the hat down to soak up her now watering eyes. Her chest trembled in convolutions, Applejack reached out a hoof and began to rub her back in circles.
"AJ..." Rainbow mumbled "C-Can we go now?" she looked up, only allowing her eyes to be shown for a brief moment.
"Ya 'eard er Doc," Applejack found herself mumbling with a sigh on the edge of her voice. "I think she's 'ad enough fer today."
A long silence followed as Applejack gently pat the other's mane. "Be best if we go an' drop it for a while... Least till the next nightmare comes.". Strangely enough, Applejack didn't feel as if she was trying to save her own skin. She wanted only to bring Rainbow out of her melancholy mood. Rainbow wasn't dealing with this well, and Applejack didn't want to push her to her breaking point once more.
The doctor sighed "I seem to be unable to get through to you." He said, a sigh on the edge of his voice. "Very well, go on ahead, I won't try and stop you. I only warn you that if this gets any worse, to come and see me."
"Will do Doc." Applejack said, tipping her hat to the older stallion.
Applejack tired her best to get Rainbow out quickly without stirring up a scene. She could tell by the way Rainbow Dash sighed in relief followed by whimpers the moment the hints of a breeze hit her face that her friend would have broken down if more time passed. "You're mean." She mumbled "You know I hate it here... uncool."
Applejack rolled her eyes as she continued down the path to Sweet Apple Acre's. It was easy for her to see Rainbow's anger, and even though she would never want her friend to discover the truth about what happened, she would do anything at this point to put her mind at ease. "You 'aven't slept all week." Applejack mumbled, glancing down "Not after the nightmare..."
Rainbow squeezed the hat tighter over her eyes "So?" She grumbled out "Who needs sleep?"
"Somepony fresh out of the hospital with two broken legs, that's for sure." Applejack mumbled, she decided to take the long way home, knowing that Rainbow preferred to be outside rather than cooped up indoors. Her friend needed things like this, Applejack wasn't sure what she would do if forced to be inside all day long. Perhaps their walks reminded her of sleeping on a cloud or something.
"Shut it." Rainbow growled, sniffling slightly. She had forced herself to calm down enough to talk normally once more. She paused for a long time, as if flipping around in her head what to say next "...thankyou..." She mumbled.
"Huh?" Applejack pondered "What did ya say?"
Rainbow was silent "Thanks... for taking me out back there... I was making a bucking fool of myself... wasn't I?"
"I wouldn't go that far." Applejack assured "Though I gotta admit, even after all this here time, it's still strange ta see ya cry..."
"I guess I'm just a strange pony." Rainbow mumbled, shrugging slightly. she paused a long time after that before continuing. "I never really was able to let myself open up like this to the others, share feelings or mushy things like that." She mumbled. "I always thought that, tough ponies didn't need anypony else to talk to when they were upset... that they should toughen themselves out... that's why I tried to make you leave when you saw me crying."
Applejack blinked "I... Rainbow, we didn't exactly get along before this, we fought each other over every stupid little thing that just darn popped inta our minds, we scuffled for no reason half the time."
"I know..." Rainbow Dash mumbled. "But for some reason... the first time you walked into the hospital and found me crying... I was glad to see you, to see that you weren't hurt or something. Even thought Twilight told me you were fine... I felt like I needed to see it to believe it." She chuckled awkwardly "I sound really stupid right now, don't I?"
"Naw, just... unlike you." Applejack mumbled. She gently wheeled her friend along the path, feeling the breeze in her face. She could see Dash extend her chest and breath in the air with pleasure. She was born to fly. Applejack felt a pang of guilt. The dream just had to be about them, about what happened to them.
"It may sound strange..." Rainbow began "But I feel like... I feel like you're my best friend..." The pre-pegasus grew silent, and blushed deeply. Applejack felt her mouth go dry. Best friend? Everything about this should make them worst enemies... and yet here Applejack trotted, by her friends side through thick and thin these past few weeks.
"Yeah Dash... you're my best friend too."
"Really?" Rainbow asked, lifting her head and turning around "Not Twilight, or Fluttershy or something?"
"Hay no, you're the only one I can really talk ta 'bout work and how hard it is without just smiling and noddin', I 'memeber you used to push me harder by telling me you could buck more apples than me in ten seconds flat than I could do in an hour, that made me really push myself until I impressed you." Applejack found herself mumbling.
Rainbow smiled "Yeah, and you always used to tell me ways I could improve my tricks, and were never easily impressed after I did a sonic rainboom, you made me try and do bigger and more dangerous tricks after that! We always pushed each other." Rainbow said, smirking up at the orange filly.
"Yeah... yeah I guess we did." Applejack mumbled. She was silent for a long time "Rainbow... would you still call me your best friend... if I did something bad?"
"Huh?" Rainbow asked. "Like.... like what?"
Applejack blinked several times "Like I hurt somepony... and they didn't even know it?"
"What, you're telling me you ripped these wings from my back in my sleep?" Rainbow asked, chuckling half-heartily "Yeah, yeah, mushy friendship and all that, I'd still be your friend."
Rainbow Dash didn't see the shock of fear on the orange mare's face when the subject of her wings was brought up. She was so close to the truth, it was right under her nose and she didn't even know it...
"Yeah... mushy friendship..."
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It was when Applejack was lying on her back, staring out the window at Princess Luna's moon, did she realize just how much Rainbow Dash's friendship meant to her. She wanted to preserve it, keep it locked deep in her heart where it couldn't escape. The same must be true for all of her friends, but as of late, Rainbow Dash's cage where her friendship for Applejack was kept had begun to rot. The orange filly had done her best to keep the cage sturdy and strong, making makeshift repair jobs and patching up the holes. But it still rotted, a little more each day as the truth seeped nearer and nearer into her friend's heart. The dream was the key wanting to let her friendship with Rainbow escape... and it finding its own way to the keyhole would be what shattered the cage into oblivion.
"Hey AJ, you sleeping?" Rainbow mumbled.
Applejack found herself jumping at the sudden voice. She glanced over to see a pair of violet eyes staring straight at her. It was difficult to see in the darkness, but the vibrant colors from Dash's mane were apparent, even in pitch black. "Yeah, Dashie, 'sup?" The orange filly asked, cocking up a brow.
Rainbow looked down and began to trace circles with her hoof on her chest. "Why do... why do you think all of this happened... I mean, I know there are other ponies in the world who lost their wings and all... but why me?" She asked. Her voice sounded a bit whiny. "I've crashed into everything and anything imaginable, and never had them get a scratch except breaking one of them ONCE." She whimpered out "I... I just don't get why all of this is happening to me..."
Applejack could sense her friend wasn't on the verge of tears, just in need of answers. It must be horrible, having a million and ten questions without a single answer in sight. The orange filly reached out a hoof and stroked her cheek "I kind of wish it had been me." She confessed "I ain't got big dreams, I'm just meant to run the acre's, no fame and fortune was meant for me..."
"Applejack... don't say that..." Rainbow mumbled "I... I know that my goals were set high, but don't put yourself down just because it isn't great on the surface... you feed all of Equestria with your apples, right?" She asked.
"I suppose... we do ship outside of Ponyville..." Applejack mumbled.
"If something happened to you, Big Mac couldn't run the farm on his own, we saw how bad that went for you."
"Don't remind me." Applejack grumbled out, her ears pressing against her scalp. "I know, I know, without me all of Equestria would starve... but I ain't like ya, I didn't have ta push myself each and every day just for some attention from my idols some day."
Rainbow shrugged "I suppose..."
Applejack stared at Rainbow Dash. If she gave the key to Rainbow... would the friendship in their hearts escape and never come back? Or would they choose to stay, and be happy for years to come. She didn't want to take the risk... not yet... not until the guilt building in her was about to swallow her alive.
"I really meant it earlier," Rainbow mumbled out loud. "About you being my best friend... I meant every word I spoke about it." She was silent for a long time "I... I don't know what I would do without you... I almost broke down so many times these past few weeks... and I..."
Rainbow began to shift, as if sitting up. Applejack sat up as well "Woah there Dash, take it easy, just lie back on down an-" The orange filly felt herself be cut off in a sudden moment as hooves wrapped around her head and her lips collided with a cyan pair. Every muscle in her body exploded in both fear and excitement. She couldn't wrap her head around why Rainbow Dash would do something so... strange... The other's lips rubbed against her own as she sat there in shock.
Rainbow broke away, blushing intensely. "I... I'm sorry... I don't know what just happened..." She mumbled "You... you just..."
Applejack found her body working by itself as she all but tackled the other onto the bed, now lying on top of Rainbow Dash as her lips mashed with the others again. Something inside of her had taken over. Rainbow was important to her... Rainbow was her best friend. And every moment she kissed her, she found the guilt seeping in deeper and deeper. She brushed her tongue against the others lips, and was greeted with entrance as her tongue began to fight with Rainbow's. She finally broke apart, realizing she had almost passed out form lack of air. She checked the cage... it was breaking...
Rainbow blinked several times. Applejack decided to speak up as she sat on top of her cyan friend "I... I didn't know yer barn door swung that way."
"I didn't know yours did." Rainbow mumbled.
Applejack blinked, still in a bit of shock. What were... you supposed to do in a time like this... when you were conflicted with feelings of Fillyfooling?
"Yer my best friend, Dashie." Applejack mumbled, before leaning down and kissing her once more.
The guilt grew stronger the longer she stayed that way. She wasn't sure how much longer the cage would hold.