//------------------------------// // The Wheels On The Bus // Story: Brainiac Takes Manehattan // by TopWanted //------------------------------// Twilight sipped from her cup of coffee in the lobby of the hotel the mares were sharing. Applejack and Rarity hadn’t come back until pretty late and Rainbow had already explained that she was crashing with the Wonderbolts for the night. Twilight rubbed her eyes as she sat alone in the morning sun. “Well last night was pointless,” she mumbled to herself. “We were barely able to talk to anyone before it got too dark and then Fluttershy got too scared to search.” “It’s not all bad.” Twilight shot up in her seat as Pinkie suddenly appeared in the chair beside her. The pink mare seemed completely calm, unlike most times, and her hair wasn’t quite as poofy. “At least we got the entire day today.” Twilight raised a curious eyebrow at the quieter than normal mare. “Pinkie, are you alright?” Pinkie brought forth a steaming mug from under the table and sniffed it. “I haven’t had my coffee yet, Twilight.” She shot the alicorn a glare. “Everypony needs their coffee in the morning.” Twilight gulped and continued to sip her own cup, returning her attention to the beautiful veranda outside the lobby they sat. After a moment passed and Pinkie downed her coffee in a strangely fluent single gulp, the pink mare’s hair reinflated and a broad smile shot across her face. This explains so much and yet so little, Twilight thought. “So what’s the plan today, Fearless Leader?!” Pinkie asked cheerfully. Twilight grinned. “Well, you were right that last night wasn’t a total loss. I’d heard somepony talking about some strange phenomena that happened just about a day before we arrived. Unfortunately I couldn’t get any details before Fluttershy freaked out when that streetlight above us burned out. I say we start asking anypony about what strange things might have occurred two days ago. It’s not big but it’s a lead. Maybe we could split up and cover more ground.” “Okie Dokie Lokie!” Pinkie answered with a salute. “I’ll go see if anyone at FruitCon knows anything!” Pinkie licked her lips hungrily before dashing off in a cloud of pink smoke. Twilight groaned. “Just make sure to actually investigate!” Of course her flippant friend would run off to someplace fun during such an important mission. Twilight rolled her eyes and shrugged. At least Pinkie was actively helping while Applejack was at FruitCon just to get some publicity. “Morning Twilight,” Fluttershy muttered as she joined her friend at the table. The yellow Pegasus rubbed her front hooves together nervously. “Um, sorry about freaking out last night. I… just wasn’t expecting the city to get so dark all of a sudden.” Twilight sighed but gave her friend a smile. “It’s no problem. I was just telling Pinkie that we need to split up and start asking ponies about anything strange that might have occurred two days ago.” Fluttershy frowned. “Strange? Like what?” “Oh, you know, black holes in the sky. Monsters in the sewer. It’s probably got something to do with metal so maybe a metal timberwolf?” Twilight waved a hoof as listed. “Metal… timberwolf…” Fluttershy’s face flushed as she thought of how much sharper a metal timberwolf would be. “Um, are you sure we have to split up?” Twilight planted her hoof to her face and sighed in frustration. --- Brainiac began to log an entry into his databank as he entered the city proper. ‘First day initial report: No immediate sight of the Elements.’ He waited for the standard ping or woosh that would indicate that the report had been logged by his memory core. None came. “Foolish,” he chided himself. “I must remember that this is an organic body. There is no network to use yet and so I am disconnected from my ship. This unit is… on its own.” The emotionless stallion stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, the thought finally sinking in. Many city dwellers and morning joggers passed by him, some giving him dirty looks though he didn’t seem to notice. “On its own. No sensory scans. No audio feedbacks.” He squinted his new organic eyes, trying to look through a cement structure but it was for naught. “This… was ill conceived.” Brainiac simply couldn’t comprehend it. It was illogical for Brainiac to have a bad idea. Everything he had ever done was calculated to perfect timing. Variables held no mystery to the ancient intelligence. He could predict any outcome. Yet Kal-El, Superman, had outwitted and even defeated him more times than within a possible range. Could something have truly changed about the A. I. after their last encounter? Brainiac maneuvered his body to turn around, deciding that for the betterment of the mission it would be wise to return to the ship. However, as he turned he smashed into a mass of pink fur going the other way and both toppled over onto their hindquarters. The bright pink mare rubbed her sore nose, “Owie Zowie,” she mumbled. Brainiac remained on his back, his expressionless face unwavering. He scanned the mare with his eyes. She appeared to share a striking resemblance with the pony that the Equestrians called the “Element of Laughter,” one Pinkamena Diane Pie. However, it was highly improbable that he would encounter one of his targets so soon. The mare stood up, rubbing her nose, “Sorry about that. My name’s Pinkie Pie,” the pink mare stated and held up a helping hoof. “What’s yours?” Brainiac frowned as his organic shell struggled to run the numbers with its slow fleshy brain. He approximated the total population of Equestria to be well over a million ponies. Adding in the factors that his info placed the Elements somewhere in Middle Equestria in a town called Ponyville and he was clearly in a metropolitan city by the sea, the probability of running into this individual was quite astronomical. But not impossible, so the intelligence let it slide. He laid on the ground staring at the hoof held out before him with a blank expression. Pinkie furrowed her brow and leaned in close so she was whispering in his ear. “You better start moving. I don’t think everypony likes us hanging out on the sidewalk.” Brainiac shot a glance around him. The traffic of the sidewalk had indeed become busier. Passing pedestrians were glaring at the two as they pushed their way around them. He was drawing too much attention to himself. Brainiac took Pinkie’s hoof and lifted himself from the ground. His eyes still held no expression but the mare merely smiled brightly and giggled. “What is it you are laughing at?” Brainiac asked. “Oh nothing,” Pinkie waved a dismissive hoof. “You just remind me of somepony. So are you going to tell me your name or am I going to have to tickle it out of you?” The mare lunged back her hooves and then drew forward placing them under Brainiac’s chest. She began to wiggle her hooves while Brainiac stared in confusion. Suddenly a tight feeling reached his stomach and lower region. His lips pulled back against his will in a smirk and they began to quiver. His eyelids trembled as well, trying to keep their half lidded expression. It all fell away as Brainiac’s mouth opened wide and he began to laugh uncontrollably while his eyes screwed shut, tears beginning to form at the sides. He struggled to free the mare’s hooves from him but the tightness did not let up and sapped him of strength. Pinkie continued her tickle attack until it was clear that they were disrupting traffic again. A brown pony in a blue uniform walked up to the two ponies rolling around on the sidewalk and tapped a hoof impatiently. Pinkie shot back up and smiled apologetically, “Sorry about that officer. We’ll be going now.” Brainiac continued to roll around on the ground laughing and gasping for air, drawing even more attention to himself until Pinkie grabbed the stallion’s hoof and pulled him away. She gave the officer a salute and a smile before ducking around the corner. Brainiac was still chuckling and trying to breathe when Pinkie sat him down on a bus stop. “Woah, sorry about all that,” she said rubbing the back of her head. “I can’t get in trouble before I meet with Applejack at FruitCon.” Brainiac still seemed to be a little out of it as he continued to giggle and hold his sides. “Anyway, I guess I’ll see you around!” Pinkie dashed away at top speed leaving the green stallion alone giggling to himself. After another minute Brainiac finally took a deep breath and stopped laughing. His ears perked up and his eyes shot open as he realized what had just happened. He had the target in his sights. With his increased strength he could have easily overpowered her and dragged her back to the ship. Perhaps even use her as leverage against the other Elements should the need arise. Instead the target tickled him into submission. This was a disgraceful first test run of the new shell. Perhaps he should have waited longer for it to mature so that the nerve endings weren’t as vulnerable. Tickling was an extreme sensation that he had not dealt with before. He shuddered as he remembered how helpless he was to the tickles. “This is further proof that I should return to the ship,” he stated aloud. As he stood to leave he glanced at his surroundings. Despite the intelligence’s vast memory, he didn’t recall just where he was now. A thought occurred. Had this been the mare’s plan all along? Did the Elements suspect something already? Magic was a new variable Brainiac had to deal with, but a variable none the less. Perhaps they had seen of his coming and prepared. If this was true then he was on borrowed time. He needed to find and incapacitate the Elements if he ever wished to sterilize and leave this world for good. “The mare designated as Pinkie Pie said she was going to FruitCon. I must acquire the address of this event.” He said all this aloud as an old gray mare with a white mane and brown handbag sat beside him. Brainiac caught her staring and turned, his expression still unreadable. “You. Octogenarian. Where is this FruitCon?” The old gray mare scoffed and stood up to face him. “Nopony calls me an octopus!” She slammed her handbag into his head which collided hard and propelled Brainiac into a poster plastered on the back of the bus stop. She walked off in a humph as Brainiac pried his smashed face from the poster. “Octogenarian,” he mumbled with stars in his eyes. “Means person of eighty or older.” Brainiac shook his head to free the stars and found himself facing the poster he had collided with. Along with the newest addition of the imprint of his face, the words “FRUITCON” were plastered on it in bright red and gold letters on a blue background. Below the words were an address and time as well as the instruction: third stop from this station. Finally he was getting somewhere. Brainiac turned as he watched the bus pull up. It was a two decker carriage about forty feet long pulled by two enormous stallions. Ponies were packed onto the top and bottom some even standing on hind legs to fit in. Brainiac approached the bus and stepped aboard, squishing himself in. “Ahem,” one of the horses pulling the bus coughed at Brainiac as he pointed to a small tin box with a coin slot just to the right of the bus door. Payment. Of course. Brainiac stood, blankly staring at the box before someponies began to complain. “Get a move on!” “You ain’t got money then get out!” “Here, darling,” a nice feminine voice came from behind him. “He can have one of mine.” A white hoof emerged from the throng on the bus and placed a bit in the box. The drivers let out a satisfied humph as they began to move once more. The white hoof squeezed past the others in the bus until a white unicorn mare with a brilliantly groomed purple mane. She smiled at Brainiac and raised a melodramatic hoof to her head. “I know how dreadful it can be to ride the public transit but it’s simply too hard for a pony to get a taxi with all these events in town.” She put a hoof on his shoulder. “And no need to thank me dear, generosity is kind of my thing.” Brainiac’s expression did not change. This made the white mare purse her lips and furrow her brow. “Oh,” she widened her eyes. “How silly of me to not introduce myself. I’m Rarity.” She extended a hoof in greeting. Brainiac did not show any new expression but his mind raced. This was the Element of Generosity. Again within the span of an hour he had met two of his targets. This could not be a coincidence. The Elements could only be present in this city for one reason, to find him. He silently thanked himself for not going with the metal shell. Rarity held out her hoof for a long time until the bus stopped once more and a few ponies drifted off while a few came on. Brainiac stood still, staring at her the entire time. “Yes…” she said awkwardly as she lowered her hoof. “Well, it was nice talking to you… maybe…” She turned her head to focus on something else. This was his chance. Brainiac could attack the pony now, subdue the bus goers and whatever else might come against him. While this mare was a unicorn she was completely defenseless now in this cramped vehicle. However logic ruled out in the end. It was too rash a move to act here. Who knew just what Elements might be lying in wait, just waiting for a slip up. He moved now and he might reveal himself. It was at a time like this that he wished he was still connected to the ship, he could just monitor the city from there and find them in a nanosecond. It would be best to act as normal as possible in this situation. “Miss Rarity,” Brainiac said with a monotone. The white unicorn turned back to him, surprised he was finally talking. “I believe that I must thank you for your contribution to my transportation.” Rarity smirked a little as she tried to decode just what the pony had said but then laughed. “Oh, darling, I told you you didn’t need to thank me. Though that’s quite kind of you.” Rarity took a step back as she took her first full look at the stallion. “You know,” she rubbed her chin thoughtfully. “You have a perfect figure. In fact, you’re pale fur and deep colored mane give you a rather unique look.” She blushed as she realized what she said. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be so forward.” “That is alright,” Brainiac replied. “This shell is based off of both male and female body proportions as to match my genderless nature.” Completely unaware of the ludicrous things he just said. Rarity didn’t seem to notice his little slip as the bus stopped once more. “Ah, that’s my stop!” she called. She proceeded out the door stopping on the last step to turn back to Brainiac. “You know you really could be a model with that look.” She grabbed a business card from her saddlebag and handed it to him. “I have a friend in the fashion industry who’d love to meet you.” Brainiac accepted the card without a word and waved mechanically as Rarity left his sight. Brainiac looked back to the card and then back to himself. He had no place to put it. This card might help him find the Element of Generosity again, he needed to keep it safe. He patted himself down looking for any kind of pocket or pouch he knew not to be there. Finally it dawned on him. He was a 12th level intellect, of course he would be able to memorize a card. He read it one more time and logged the memory away before crumpling up the card and tossing it out the window. “Hey!” a gruff big boned blue pony shouted as he pushed his way to his position. “You can’t just litter in the city!” He moved forward until he was inches from Brainiac’s face. The green pony did not change his dull expression as the gruff blue pony shot him a death glare. “My apologies,” Brainiac said. “I was not aware this was an illicit act.” “You callin’ me illiterate!” the pony replied. A moment passed and Brainiac was tossed from the window of the bus only to land head first into a streetlamp. The lamp made a gong sound as he slowly slid to the bottom. Brainiac grabbed his aching face and began to roll on the ground cursing in ancient alien dialects. When he opened his eyes, all was fuzzy until a banner across the street came into focus. Plastered across the gates of a giant park were the words FruitCon. Brainiac let out a sigh of relief. He made it to his next objective. Pinkie Pie had said she would be meeting Applejack, the Element of Honesty and another earth pony, here. With luck and some skill he would be able to subdue and capture them both stealthily in such a place as this. He walked across the street to enter the park and widened his expressionless eyes. All along the pathways of the park, vendors and stalls had been set up. The perfect place for a silent abduction had just become the largest gathering of ponies he’d seen yet. He let out another sigh and began to unconsciously pout his lips.