Note:
Once again I am writing this for my own guilty pleasure and to test the waters to see if I can ship worth a hill-o-beans. Any and all "that doesn't seem reasonable" comments will be promptly ignored. This story is to write out crazy ideas and rehash old ones. Feel free to read it with me.
"Here is your stop."
"Aww! Now i'll never know why a blonde, a lawyer and an Athenian Hoplite walked into a bar for!"
"And what a reason it was. But alas, that is a story for another time. Now please wait for the ferry to come to a full stop before disembarking."
The River Styx sloped gently to an old and worn dock near the mouth of another tunnel, just wide enough for my car. The riverbank was rough and ragged while remaining surprisingly flat. The most notable feature of the shore was a large, three headed dog.
"Hey Charon, isn't Cerberus supposed to keep dead people from escaping?"
"Well, yes and no. Yes he is, but you aren't really dead, remember? Just act cool and ol' Cerbs will leave you well enough alone."
the ferry landed at the dock and Charon helped me unload my car full of my earthly possessions. He told me to wait up so he could tell me a few last minute things before I could leave.
"I suppose there is one eensy weensy little thing I should have mentioned before."
I gave him an 'of course' look. "And what is that?"
"It is quite possible that I will need to turn you into a pony..."
"A pony? Like a horse?"
"Well, yes. Only smaller."
"Why?"
Charon looked at his feet "Because that is the dominant species of Equestria?"
"Horses?"
"Ponies."
"Aren't they just animals?"
He waved his arms in disagreement. "No no no. They are as smart as you are. Loveley creatures. Oh! you can be a unicorn!"
"Like a sparkly rainbow unicorn?"
"No. Both those are taken. You'll see."
Charon, again started chanting as I was blinded by a light of many colors in a way that fire looks. the next thing I knew, I was significantly shorter than i was before. I could feel my new hooves which reminded me of the palms of my hands. My knees felt a bit wonky, but there was nothing else I could remember that was out of place. Then I felt my horn. It felt a lot like the rest of my head, only more sensitive. When I looked at my arm (or is it a leg now?) I saw that it was a pastel green. Similar to the color of an Evergreen.
"Am I majestic?" I asked attempting to be vain.
"Haha yes. You seem to be taking this well. too well."
"Hey man, I'm dead and hung out with the Charon on the river Styx! I'm just kinda enjoying the ride."
Charon laughed and began to tell me the basics of what I will need to know. Apparently they speak English, but write 'Equestrian', and that they are a diarchy. He then told me that I should go to a place called 'Ponyville'.
I then stepped inside my car and thanked Charon for all he did. I thought turning the key was going to be difficult, but i performed the task absentmindedly. As I was leaving he shouted: "Don't destroy Equestria please! Oh, and say 'Hi' to Sunny-Flanks for me!"
I drove through the hallway wondering who "Sunny-Flanks" could be.
Twilight Sparkle was enjoying an afternoon of reading in the shade of a tree. It had only been a month since the royal wedding and things were calm on the Ponyville front. That is, until she noticed something in the distance kicking up a lot of dirt. She watched as the object got closer and noticed that it almost resembled a funny looking chariot.
Twilight peered through the glass that covered most of the front and saw a green stallion sitting in a manner only Lyra enjoyed. Before she could get a proper look, the object skidded to a halt. The dust trail quickly engulfed the object, obscuring everything within hoofs reach. Twilight heard a thud from the object in question followed by a low voice.
"Hello! I'm a bit lost. Could you direct me to 'Ponyville'?"
The pony I asked directions from simply stared at me. Like, stared. I Stared back. When charon said they were different, he was right. She had much larger eyes than I expected (does this mean I have large eyes too? I wonder what color they are...). We both snapped out of our respective reveries.
"What in Celestia's mane is that?"
"My car. You see, I'm moving."
"Car? Whats a car?"
I pointed my hoof "That is."
"But what is it?"
"A car. You know, an Automobile?"
"What's that?"
I facepalmed. "This conversation is tautological. It's a car because it's a car OK?"
She perked at the word tautological. "Nice word!"
"Thank you." I bowed "My vernacular is robust."
She giggled at the statement. "My name is Twilight Sparkle, Pleased to meet you Mr..."
"Ed. Edward Anderson." I chuckled at my little joke.
"Well Mr. Ed-" I chuckled a bit more "I'm sorry, did I say it wrong?"
"No hehe my name is a pun where I come from"
"Oh, where do you come from?"
"To the northwest."
"What city?"
As soon as those words left Twilight's lips, A cyan pony with wings approached us.
"What in Equestria is that thing?" Pointing to my van.
"That's my car"
"What's a car?"
"Ask Twilight."
"Don't ask Rainbow."
"Wait... Your name is Rainbow?"
Rainbow had a look of pride "Yep! Name's Ranbow Dash! Fastest flier in Equestria!"
"Hah! Those were taken."
"Excuse me?" Twilight asked.
"Nothing to worry your pretty little head over" I patted her on the head while saying this. she didn't fight it, but turned her head away from me. "Anywho, I'm new here and am looking for a place called 'Ponyville'. Is that far?"
"Not at all!" Rainbow declared "Just follow the road a few miles and you can't miss it!"
"Sweet! Thanks!" I said as I got in my van.
"Wait!" Shouted Twilight. "Can I see how this 'car' works?"
Then the thought hit me. Charon had briefly mentioned that they don't have much technology. If I began to explain how a car works... This could be so much worse than stepping on a butterfly. This can only mean one thing: "Prime Directive!"
"Prime what?"
"Sorry! Knowledge of the Great and Powerful 'car' could change the course of history!"
Rainbow motioned to Twilight that I was crazy. "This wouldn't happen to belong to Trixie, would it?"
"Who?"
"Never mind."
"If you ladies will excuse me, I'm going to go make a fool of myself somewhere else."
As I departed, Rainbow turned to Twilight and said "That is a piece of work."
Twilight sighed. "He sure is."
Author's note: POV might change between sections. I won't announce it. You are a smart person, you can figure it out. Again, this is meant to fill the void of slice of life human romance. This is for me and am allowing it to have holes here and there. In any case, you can comment for your opinions and I'll read them and prolly respond to them.