“When I was younger,” Amber reminisced as she trotted around the base of the eastern tower, “my nanny would tell me stories about the catacombs under the castle of Gallopilli. She said that there was a secret entrance on the far side of the eastern tower.” The golden unicorn fell silent as she paced the circumference of the tower. “Well, we’re on the far side. And I don’t see a secret entrance.” With a huff, she turned to her three companions. “Any ideas?”
Light Patch looked at the almost featureless stone wall. The only major thing of note was the cracking along it. His ear twitched as the four clocks, also on the wall, chimed at the same time. His eyes drifted from the clocks to a large section of cracked wall near it. Something about this feels similar, the pegasus thought. He winced again as the hands on the four clocks aligned once more. Something heavily tugged at his mind as he watched the clocks tick away. He listened closely to the clocks and, more specifically, when they all lined up. No, it couldn’t be. But it is an idea, he reasoned, trotting over to the cracks next to the clocks.
“What are you doing?” Amber asked watching the stallion study the wall intently.
“Testing a hunch,” the grey pegasus responded, blowing a tuft of his mane out of the way. “By the way, about how tall were you when your nanny told you those stories?”
“Three, three and a half hands,” Amber shrugged. “Why?” Light Patch looked back at the wall and started to drag his hoof along the wall. The moment the four clocks all lined up he kicked the wall. When nothing happened he moved a little and tried again, and again. The princess sighed in exasperation and scowled at Light Patch. “Would you please stop trying to kick the wal-” she was cut off as a part of the wall slid open the next time the stallion kicked the wall.
“I can’t believe that worked,” Light Patch muttered, walking back to the mares. “At least I didn’t have to get a spiked skull on a chain, or try to navigate a minefield using toy bunnies.” The Princess, Pinkie, and Dash all looked at Light Patch with confused expressions on their faces.
“Moving on,” Amber decided, gesturing for the group to enter the newly found opening.
“What did your nanny say next?” Rainbow Dash asked. Amber cast an illumination spell, eliciting a glow from her horn as she took point. They walked down the tunnel in silence while the princess recalled the stories.
“She said we have to find the darkest, deepest room beneath the tower,” she said finally. “Once there, we’ll have to solve a riddle given by the Keeper. I don’t know who the Keeper is, and I’m certain they’re probably dead by now. But anyways, for now let’s concentrate on walking. There’s a lot of potentially dangerous creatures down here. We should be cautious.”
“Don’t worry, we’re always careful,” Light Patch said, moving to take the lead. “We’re seasoned adven-” The mares gasped as the grey stallion suddenly vanished from sight, having apparently walked off a cliff. The three of them cautiously moved toward the edge to see him laying on top of a tarp. “I’d watch that first step of yours. It’s a bit of a doozy.” Light Patch remained silent for a few moments before speaking up again. “Does anypony else hear some kind of-” A sharp sound ripped through the chamber. “Oh no, not again,” he managed to say just before being catapulted into the air. The noise of him impacting some far unseen wall informed them of the end of his flight, the small white ‘critical hit’ floating in the darkness informed the three mares of his location.
“Guess we’d better go scrape our cleric off the wall, huh Dashie?” Pinkie asked. With a roll of her eyes, the cyan pegasus drifted forward and down onto the next platform. She turned back to Amber and Pinkie pie.
“Could you please give us some light?” Rainbow Dash asked. “Or at least cast some kind of light spell over where the grey splat should be?”
“I resemble, I mean resent that,” a weak voice called. Amber Glitter chuckled and tossed an orb of light out to where she presumed Light Patch should be. As the orb grew in brilliance, it illuminated the surrounding features. The three mares couldn’t help but gape in awe at the chamber. Platforms hewn from the stone wall jutted out, creating a impromptu staircase that lead to the chamber’s floor. What they saw took their breath away.
The floor was a huge multi-colored mosaic detailing an intricate depiction of a map from the sky. To the west was a large body of water, presumably an ocean while to the east was a massive block of green, a land mass or continent. In the southeast portion of the landmass was a walled city next to the name ‘Gallopilli’.
“Oooooh!” Pinkie Pie squealed as she raced down the stone staircase to the floor. “It’s a map! I love maps!”
“This isn’t just any map,” Amber noted, her voice echoing around the chamber. “This is a map of the continent from over four centuries ago, when Roania was first founded!”
“So?” Rainbow Dash asked as nonchalantly as she could. The Princess looked up at the hovering pegasus, her eyes wide with indignation.
“This is a priceless piece of Roania’s history!” she cried. “That it’s been here untouched for centuries should make that plain enough!” Just as Amber finished, friction ceased holding Light Patch to the wall, all three winced at the noise of him impacting the floor. Dash outwardly rolled her eyes as she went to where Light Patch was. Inside, however, she was giddy from the idea that she was doing what Daring Do did nearly everyday. She had found a priceless piece of history. As she neared the supine Light Patch, she sighed.
“Alright there?” she asked cheekily, pulling on one of the grey pegasus’ wings.
“Yep. Just super. Just thought I’d practice some yoga. Nothing like the good old ‘sarcasm over the impact crater’ pose,” Light Patch deadpanned. “Now help me up. My hammer’s gotten the straps for my gear twisted and, well...” he sighed, “I’m all tied up at the moment.” A small smirk twisted Rainbow Dash’s lips and she crossed her forelegs.
“You really do like to make things hard for yourself, don’t you?” she chuckled. “Pinkie! I need a little help with this present. Could you help?” Instantly, Pinkie Pie materialized beside the pair, leaving Amber to enjoy the mosaic map on her own.
“Ooooo!” Pinkie cackled. “A present! Is it a puzzle? Do we have to solve it to move on?” Dash paused for a second, considering the question.
“Actually,” she mused. “Yeah.”
“Just get me untied, please,” Light Patch groaned.
Pinkie Pie saluted with a hoof. “Yes, o’ Presentable One.”
* * *
“Did your nanny say anything about that mosaic back there?” Rainbow Dash asked as they continued on their way after releasing a thoroughly displeased Light Patch. Amber reviewed the stories she remembered in her head.
“None of them specifically mention the mosaic, but they did speak of objects of significance forgotten or hidden in these catacombs.” She finally responded.
“Any artifacts of widespread destruction?” Rainbow asked trying to keep her excitement in check.
“Well, a few objects of power, but not really anything of widespread destruction, other than the box I’m not even really sure what might lie down here.” She hesitated before continuing, “Honestly I thought they were all just stories and rumors spread by palace staff looking for something to talk about. I only brought it up because of what happened to Purple Heart.”
“Well, I think he’ll be glad you did,” Pinkie Pie said cheerily. “I mean, you are dating him, aren’t you? How far into the dating process are you? Having tea together? Or maybe eating spaghetti off of the same plate?” Amber tripped. Nothing major like Light Patch had gotten himself into earlier, but it was a stumble.
“I think we’re still in the stage of walks in the park and dinner together,” Amber cleared her throat, looking at the bubbly pink earth pony.
Pinkie Pie chortled. “Ah, young love. When can Auntie Pinkie Pie expect little purple and gold nieces and nephews?” Rainbow Dash and Light Patch both turned to look at Amber expectantly as they continued down this new tunnel.
“Whoa, whoa!” Amber spluttered in indignation, her cheeks flushing red in embarrassment as she came to a stop, shaking head as she back away from the two mares. “We aren’t anywhere close to that!”
“Oh ho?” Dash asked, a wry grin on her face. “And just how close to that are you, exactly?” The Princess’ blush grew more inflamed as she opened and closed her mouth repeatedly, trying to speak.
“He’s just a very good friend!” Amber explained earnestly. “A close friend who I happen to spend time with along with the occasional dinner and moonlit stroll.”
“They’ve barely had a chance to even start dating, Pinkie. And also, this really isn’t the place to talk about this.” The stallion was going to say more, but was interrupted when something ambushed him. Remarkably, the ensuing fight between the grey pegasus and his assailer went unnoticed by the three mares as they stopped to continue their conversation, ignoring the grunts and squeaks in the background.
Pinkie Pie suddenly appeared very close to Amber’s face, a massive grin on her face. “So? When’s the wedding? I’m great with weddings! Balls and galas too, but weddings are my jam!” She thought for a moment. “Oooh, jam cake! I can make jam cake for your wedding! Purple and gold cakes for all of the ponies!”
“I never said anything about a wedding!” Amber screeched. “I just think of Purple Heart as a very good friend whom I am assisting in a life-threatening situation!”
“Is the life being threatened his life as a single stallion?” Rainbow Dash asked slyly, hovering in closer with a grin on her face. “‘Cause I’m sure there’s plenty of other colts who’d love to have a princess help them out with that.”
“I wouldn’t mind a little help, princess,” Light Patch said, struggling to keep the rooms unusually large rodents from chewing his face off. “How about we worry about the single stallion in the room for a moment.”
Pinkie absent-mindedly kicked one of the furry stragglers back in the grey pegasus’ direction. “Well, if you’re not looking to get married soon, then what about a not-wedding party? I could organize a party in ten second flat to celebrate the fact that you two are together! You could taste pastries together, or hold a cupcake-eating contest together, or decorate a gingerbread stable together, or-”
“All right!” Amber snapped, lifting a hoof to stop the torrent. She sighed and lowered her head in resignation. “Just give it a rest alright? Now is not the time and we are certainly not in the place to pursue this particular line of inquiry. I’m willing to discuss after we are out of this situation. Understand?” Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash nodded and Amber smiled.
Suddenly, a very chewed up and irritated Light Patch trotted back up to the mares huddle. “Thanks so much for taking the time to clear that little situation up. I’m so glad ya’ll focused all of your attention on it in this dark and horrible place,” he grumbled. The three mares blinked in surprise at the disposition of their male comrade.
“What in the heck happened to you?” Rainbow Dash asked rather eloquently.
He turned back to the mares with a glare. “ROUS’s,” he said simply before turning to continue onwards; seemingly unaware of the rodent of unusual size following right behind him.
* * *
“I don’t know about you guys,” Rainbow Dash mused as they walked into a rather dank and dark room, “but I think this might be the place.”
“This is the place!” Pinkie called, her voice echoing off the walls. “This is the place, this is the place, this is the pl-”
“And how do you figure that?” Amber asked snippily. “We’ve been walking for a while now and we’ve gone through nigh dozens of rooms. Why should this one be any different?”
“Because it is, young princess,” a voice said from the darkness.
“Oh great; doomy voice of mysterious doom,” the stallion snarked while trying to shake more of the of the slime and ichor covering him from the previous battles. “Tell you what. If you have a bath tub, I’ll help you off these three,” he said, gesturing to the mares. The voice wheezed out a chuckle.
“Rather put out, are you?”
“Put out?” Light patch asked incredulously.
Rainbow sighed. “Oh no, here he goes again.”
“Put out is about the only thing that hasn’t happened to me. I have been beaten, spat on, barfed on, eaten, electrocuted, mashed, blended, twisted, ironed, thrown, hurled—and you bet there’s a difference—and slimed every chamber. So either come out and let me beat you to a pulp, or just give us the MacGuffin and let me go spend the next year in a tub!” The stallion finished with a snort. Silence followed the grey pegasus’ tirade as whoever owned the mysterious voice considered the colt’s candor.
“Very well, you leave me no choice,” the voice said finally. Without warning, a torrent of water plummeted from above and hit the supine colt with deadly accuracy, eliciting yet another ‘Critical Hit’ notification whilst at the same time cleansing him of the worst of the dirt and grime he had collected in his earlier spats.
Light Patch stood there frozen like stone. “I suppose I asked for that.”
“Now,” the voice continued, ignoring Light Patch, “I assume you four are here for the Lady’s Music Box?”
Amber Glitter stepped forward and inclined her head to the chamber. “We are.”
“In that case, you must answer three consecutive riddles correctly,” the voice declared. “Do you accept this decision?”
“What if we don’t want to?” Rainbow Dash piped up.
“Then you get the pleasure of finding your own way out of here,” the voice said. “Free passage out comes with the prize. Well? What is your decision?”
The group convened amongst themselves. “He doesn’t give us much of a choice,” Amber mused thoughtfully.
Light Patch looked towards where the water had come from, “Quick question what happens if we get a riddle wrong?”
“Then you start over,” the voice said simply. “You only have to get three correct in a row. You can either keep going until you’ve answered three riddles successfully or you can give up. Those are the rules. I’m just the Knight that asks them.”
“I’m not going back through that,” the stallion said, gesturing to the room back to the rest of the catacombs. “Either we do the riddles, or I’m living here with my new best friend,” Light Patch said, looking at the others.
Amber shrugged. Rainbow and Pinkie both nodded. “We do the riddles.” The Princess turned around. “We accept the riddles.”
“Excellent,” the voice said jovially. “Let us begin...”
* * *
“Time’s up!” the voice crowed. “What is the answer?”
“A duck!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed. A red ‘X’ materialized in the blackness.
“Wrong again,” the voice clucked. “Your highest streak is two in a row. Out of ten riddles, only five have been answered correctly. That’s a 50% fail rate.”
“But also a 50% success rate,” Amber pointed out.
“Nuance,” the voice said dismissively. “The point is, if you really wanted to help your friend, you’d have completed the challenge by now.” The three mares bristled at the barb. Over the half hour they had been in this chamber, ripping their manes out over ridiculous riddles and problematic puzzles, they had begun to panic. Every time they got to the third consecutive riddle, the voice pulled out a doozy that they could never answer. It was becoming a severe irritation. That, and the voice was becoming more and more annoying to listen to. Almost as if it was pleased to have somepony to talk to.
“This guy is rude,” Pinkie Pie muttered in a rare case of subduedness. “He’s cheating.”
“No kidding,” Rainbow Dash growled, rubbing at her eyes. “If we get out of here and I hear his voice again, it’ll be too soon.”
“I concur,” Amber mumbled. “But we have to keep going. For Purple Heart’s sake.”
“I’m almost wishing this was a battle with a bunch of slime monsters now,” Light Patch muttered, trying to ignore the itchiness from the dried slime under his armor. “At least then it’d be over by now.”
“If you prefer,” the voice chortled. “I could release some slimes for you to combat while you think.”
“I hope you weren’t a knight of justice.” Light Patch shot back, shaking his hoof in the air.
“Hardly,” the voice scoffed. “I’m just a poor schmoe who got the short end of the stick. I chose...poorly.”
“Would you maybe go easier on us if we promised to try and help free you?” The grey pegasus asked. Silence permeated the chamber as the voice considered the proposition.
“I’ll take that under advisement,” the voice decided. “Now, next riddle:
When you stop and look, you can always see me. If you try to touch you cannot feel me. I cannot move, but as you near me, I move away from you. What am I?
“A rainbow? No… A reflection?” Light Patch asked the others.
“A skittish pony?” Pinkie Pie asked. “A magic bunny?”
“The sky?” Rainbow threw out.
“I don’t think so,” Amber mused. “‘When you stop and look, you always see me… If you try to touch you cannot feel me… I cannot move, but as you near me, I move away...’”
“A shadow?” Rainbow Dash asked. The princess shrugged as she ran over the riddle in her head.
“Maybe...” she wondered.
“Cupcakes?” Pinkie asked hopefully. Amber again shook her head and furrowed her brow.
“You know, this is the first one. We could just blow it and see what the next one is,” Light offered. Bobbing her head from side to side, Amber shrugged.
“We could,” she muttered. “But...” She growled in irritation. “I know this one! I swear I do! I loved riddles when I was younger and I could’ve sworn I’ve heard this before...I just can’t...”
“Time’s up! What’s your answer?”
“Well?” Rainbow Dash prompted. “Do we ask for a new one? Or-”
“I got it!” Amber crowed, her face a picture of glee and happiness. “The horizon! You can’t touch it, because you can’t reach it. You try to touch it, you can’t feel it, it’s too far away. And you can’t get closer because you’ll never reach it.”
“Very good!” the voice cheered. “Next riddle:
What kind of room has no doors or windows?
“Um...” Amber hummed.
“Maybe it’s space? I mean, I’ve heard ponies ask for a little more room,” Light Patch thought aloud.
“Huh,” the voice mused softly. “While that is a legitimate option, it isn’t the correct answer. However, you will be able to give the correct answer.”
“A mushroom!” Pinkie Pie called out gleefully. Silence…
“Pardon?” the voice asked. Amber and Rainbow Dash stared at Pinkie Pie incredulously.
“You mean she’s right?!” Amber squeaked.
“I was right?!” Pinkie Pie squealed happily. “Yays!”
“Well done, Pinkie, well done,” Light Patch congratulated. “Time for the third riddle though,” he gulped. The voice grunted in acknowledgement.
“Very well. Next riddle:
”What walks on four legs in the morning-”
“A man,” Light Patch said.
”-two in the afternoon-”
“The answer is, ‘a man’,” the stallion interrupted again.
“-and three in the evening?”
“A. Man.” Light Patch said again, punctuating each word with with a stomp of his hoof.
“Correct!” the voice crowed. “You are free to leave with the Lady’s Music Box.” A spotlight cracked into existence, illuminating a pedestal deeper within the chamber. With sure, swift strides, Light Patch stalked forward towards the pedestal and the ornately carved box that sat upon it, leaving the three mares behind him in confusion.
“How’d he know the answer so quickly?” Rainbow Dash asked softly, whispering to Pinkie Pie.
“I dunno,” the bubbly pink earth pony replied. “Maybe we should tell Twi about it. She seems to be the one with the suspicions about the colts.” They looked up as Light Patch returned to them, neither noticing the frown on Amber Glitter’s face as she looked at the two mares.
“Okay, we’ve got the healing MacGuffin of health, and I’ll be back with some help to try see if we can free you from this as soon as the current situation is resolved. I promise,” Light Patch said, standing next to the mares. “Now, please, let me go take a good long bath, cuz dried slime chafes like crazy.” The voice chuckled.
“Very well,” it rumbled. “You may leave.” A flash of light eclipsed the group of ponies and they disappeared. “And don’t bother coming back. You’ve already completed the terms.” The voice fell silent.
Never to speak again.