Cadence found herself wandering through ‘the shed’ the converted storage building had a comfortable homey feel to it. She and Shiny had already found a couple hidden rooms stashed behind cabinets and false walls. Honestly it reminded her of her Auntie Celestia’s stories about the old castle in the Everfree. Still there was something off about the house, they were sure that there was a room they hadn’t yet been able to find the entrance too. a faint pulse that tugged at her perceptions just a little. Moving into the smallish half bath on the first floor. she began slowly running her fingers along the seam of the mirror, then along the wall. finally a small tile that just felt loose. yet with a small click the old hinges in the wall fold in. Beyond the room as the door opens several of the faux-candles blink to life. revealing many of the real thing. With a sneeze at the kicked up dust she sidles through the narrow opening. At first blush the room seems spartan. just a table slightly north of center with two candle holders and a largish binder like book. A second glance shows more books tucked into a cleverly made case as well as a few more cabinets. Her Aetherial perception though, showed another story completely. The you could almost see how the energy was made to naturally flow in the direction of the clock as the moon waxed, and counter that as it waned. Slowly walking until she was in front of the small table her left hand lightly brushed out along the well loved wood. Lighting her horn she takes a slow feel of the energy. Pain and joy, at the forefront, with an underlying steal like a shield or bulwark. so much like her Shiny, yet less refined. Brushing the dust off the cover of the book shows a stylized dragon burned onto the wooden cover wings spread and eye seeming to look back at her. With nervous fingers she eases the cover open. The first page is a list, each cabinet and what it contains, oils, herbs, candles of various types. Under tools there were strange names “Athame, Bowline. Pentacle disc,” she murmurs aloud. “Mac said humans didn’t have magic.” shaking her head she turns the page with another form of writing on it, harsh and angular, as well as a small black book. one that was soaked in heartache. while each other motions was reverent, the fingers touching this book trembled slightly. With the creak of leather she turns to the first page and blinks in surprise at her name near the top.

I feel stupid for writing this. However it was suggested that I to write to a pony we identify with. While I believe they intended well, I also know that I can never send these letters so why not write of matters of the heart to the princess of Love? Humans, especially Christians believe that we were given three great gifts, if I remember the verse correct “Faith, Hope, and Love. And should all else fail Love will remain” those are words that despite my path moving away from that spiritual center I had always believed. That no one should ever be without love. with that in mind when one of my dearest friends, one who I had grown to cherish, was broken by one who claimed to love them, I stepped up. going so far as to give them my heart. I don’t mean the pretty platitude, I mean I did a ritual and gave them what strength I had. Eventually our friendship became more but it didn’t last. She walked away and it broke me. I have spent a couple years now only existing, not really living because without a heart one cannot live. while I know I could undo the spell I cannot bring myself too.
I do not regret my decision, I merely wish to stop hurting. I have buried myself in my work to take my mind off it. I know they say time heals all wounds, yet, how can the wound heal when it is your faith in love that was wounded?

Here the small page ended

Dear Princess Cadence
It has been a couple years since that first letter and while the hurt hasn’t gone away I have learned to stand without it bowing me. Work and the dogs helped, However the work part of that looked like it was ending. The company I worked for has shut down the plant, more accurately they have been shut down by the company going bankrupt. I have lived on few luxuries for long enough that I have saved a decent sum of money and even have already found a new job, a dream job for me in fact. I will be moving to Kilkenny Ireland to work as a dedicated Machinist for one of the power stations. I even was able to buy a small cottage though that took most of my funding, I will be getting there with very little pocket change, the dogs, and the cloths on my back.
I know I should be happy, it is something I have dreamed of since I saw “the Quiet man” as a boy. Yet it feels empty, Oh I put on the show, I let everyone believe I am nervous or excited or whatever but a few of my close friends know the truth, they have seen it when they look me in the eye. I don’t live, I simply exist still. Their friendly heartless.

Dear Princess Cadence
I needed this place, No ghosts of memories holding me down. I get up each morning and feel better then I did at home. yet I long to return as soon as my contract here is up. I know this is what I needed to begin to finally heal. I have had a few run ins with the locals, they didn’t know I had learned Gaelic before I moved here so I knew when I was being insulted. I have finally gained a taste for dark beer, and I have people who sit and drink with me. I have even been able to catch up on my Blacksmithing. Oh this morning I had a rather odd awaking, My dog, Sidhe (it’s pronounced “She”) was going crazy out in the back garden, at first I figured she had found some critter until I heard the giggling. A little girl was out there playing with her. Ye gods did that dogs butt wag in happiness, not just her tail, everything from shoulders back was wagging. when I came out the girl stood up shamefaced expecting to be scolded, Lulu of course took that moment to charge through my legs and give the girls face a bath. Once I called the mutts back and got them inside I was able to walk the girl, whose name was Soibhan (pronounced Shavon) home, she and her mother live just down the road. she had seen the puppy and just wanted to play. Oh her mother was upset with how muddy she had gotten and started to apologize for her daughter bothering me. thing is it was a stroke of luck, I can’t always take both dogs for a walk so I suggested hiring her daughter to take Sidhe for a walk three days a week, it gives her some pocket money and helps me out since the pup had taken too her. after some weedling from Soibhan her mother Brigid agreed.

I know it has been a while since I wrote but I just while I wasn’t free of hurting I know I was living again. Brigid and I have been together for about a year and a half, what started as me paying for her daughter walking the dog turned into dinner a couple times a week turned into dates every week or so. Yesterday I proposed to her, I made the ring out of PMC so I could ensure it was one of a kind. While she is aware of my scars she agreed. Accepting me as I am. as she put it ‘because I dinnae want to be behind or before ye, I would be at yer side or no where at all’ . My contract will be up in about a year so we figure we will aim for then, Soibhan is excited to have a dad. Who would have thought such good could come out of a little trespassing eh?

Dear Princess Cadence

As the world economies are declining some of the violence that defined twentieth century Ireland is resurfacing. If you are the wrong faith, where the wrong colors, hell support the wrong football team, it can mean the end of your life. People are desperate and they want someone to blame. So like always it is the ‘other’ who gets the blame. I am glad I have hidden my faith, The currently climate would not be healthy for a pagan, because of worry I have set Brigid as my beneficiary on my life insurance and we got legally married early. while we will still have our ceremony in a few months we wanted to make sure that if something happened to either of us Soibhan was taken care of.

I hope we are just being paranoid but I don’t think we are.

Dear Princess Cadence.

What I feared has come to pass. Our Ceremony went beautifully, but when she went to her home to supervise the loading of the last of her belongings a riot broke out. When I heard the sirens I told Soibhan to stay in the house and keep the doors locked and the shutters latched. I grabbed my coat and went to help Brigid. I couldn’t shake the sick feeling in my stomach. I think I knew I was too late. I had begged her to just let them do their jobs, all the important stuff had be shipped back to the states anyways. I should have fought harder, Should have kept her home. When I got there a bunch of bodies were decorating the trees. some still twitching as their bodies tried to fight their broken necks and crushed windpipes to let them breath. The coroner says she was lucky, the push off her balcony was enough to cause instant death but still. Seeing her their, hanging like Gallows fruit. Apparently I went mad the constables had to hold me back, and eventually resorted to shocking me until I couldn’t move apparently even then I was trying to get to my wife. Less than a week we were married. hell we weren’t even leaving for our honeymoon for another two days. I swear this date is cursed. I lose my heart on it whenever I find it.

My daughter is crying, I need to be strong for her,

But do I have any strength left?

Dear Princess Cadence

Sorry I haven’t written in so long, this notebook was sort of lost in the shuffle as I returned to The States, Soibhan has been doing well. She has grown like a weed to be honest. graduated Highschool with honors. I couldn’t be prouder. She is now in college working on a double major, Economics and Psychology, with a minors in Philosophy and Music. She is on track to graduate with honors this time around too, Dean's list every year so far and a 4.0 gpa. Gods I wish I had been half as diligent or as smart as her at that age.
She finally asked me why I spend one night each year where I isolate myself and am always hung over after. I told her I spend most of the night toasting those who I can no longer share the night with. because in my life a lot of people I have lost around that time. She looked at me and asked if mom was an excuse to get shit faced. I told her that I am old enough not to need an excuse, and next year I will show her what I mean.

Where is the time going? my beard is turning grey

Yeah I know it has been another year almost since I wrote. Soibhan graduated a year early, turns out she tested out of two semesters worth of classes, how is that for freaking smart. She, to fill out the year, has joined a program that works with individuals in The Stacks to try and get them food and clothing that they need. especially if there are children involved. ‘IF mom and ye had neat made sure I was taken care o’ then I would be just as buggered as some o’ those kiddies” Gods her mother would be proud of her. Last night I showed her the photo album when I took down the bottle of whiskey and poured two shots, I told her who was in the picture and toasted their memory before knocking it back. and repeated. Until we came to a picture of me with a woman both of us smiling at the camera with our old school in the background. she asked me who that was and why I was suddenly melancholy. I told her it was the first woman to truly break me. I knocked back that shot alone and the next picture was of her, Brigid, and myself before the wedding, standing in front of the ruins of Tintagel. It was taken the day I proposed, we had taken a weekend trip to the mainland for this. we didn’t speak as we knocked back that shot other than to say she was missed badly.

Cadence reaches up to rub her eye not noticing how damp her muzzle has gotten.

Gods Above and Below there is so much for me to tell you. Soibhan decided to adopt four kids out of the stacks, Shawn, Ceilia, Michael, and Juniper, all amazing kids. I won the building I used to work at in a government auction. So We have been working together to make it a living space. I am thinking about using my own training to start a self defence class, as well as a HEMA, erm Historical European Martial Arts club. I make enough off of my Job shop machining to be able to keep the place running decently and it would help keep more kids out of some of the gangs in the area. teach them self respect and self discipline instead of the pseudo confidence that comes from ‘poppin a cap’ in someone. I worry about Soibhan though, she still works in the stacks a lot and they become more dangerous every day. Still she refuses to let evil win. note I said evil not darkness. Darkness can be good, it can be comforting, or the challenge we need to find out what we need to become. Evil on the other hand can come in the worst of guises. Some of the churches here in the states are trying to hurt others. I don’t mean with sermons, I mean with violence. I will have to find a place to store my ritual gear if only to avoid vandalism.

The final letter had a small obituary tucked with it. speaking of how when violence erupted in the school one of the teachers, when she saw the protocol to keep her class safe wasn’t working pried open the shutters to allow her students a chance to escape the deathtrap their school had become. At the cost of her own life. The strain it put on her caused her heart to give out.

I have done my best for those four kids, while not honor students like their mom they have applied themselves, Ceilia is moving back across the pond having married a boy from Edinburgh. Junie and her wife will be moving up to canada where they both have jobs waiting for them. Shawn loves the old cabin where we all became a family and has been living up there fixing it up. He thinks I don’t know about his ‘company’ as long as those two make him happy I won’t complain. I worry about Mac though. He saw me when I broke after Soibhan disappeared. Oh don’t get me wrong he is a caring boy but he doesn’t let anyone in. I worry that it made him unwilling to love. which is a shame because without it even if things go wrong and it hurts it is still the best experience to have. It is nice he is willing to sit with me on toasting day. It would be tonight but Sarah, the older sister of the woman who I ritually gave my heart too dropped this obit off, along with a letter. She had apparently come calling at some point after I came back and saw me helping Soibhan study after her mother died. She left rather than saying anything to me. A dozen times over the years she would come as far as the end of the walk with the intent on trying to mend our bridges. a dozen times she walked away all over again. It is all too much for my heart to bear anymore. The old Crew are all back in town, we went out to the bar I ran into the grandkids there as well. As I walked past their table I told them how proud I am of who they have all become. Finding happiness in their own ways. Junie hugged me and reminded me it was her turn to cook our traditional Sunday dinner tomorrow. Problem is I know I won’t see tomorrow’s dawn. Tonight the moon is full,I’s light making a beautiful path on the lake’s water which is almost a smooth as glass right now. enough of the lights near by have been shot out or burned out that I can see many of the stars clearly. even more reflected on the water. Well as a last letter to never be sent I think this is a good one. Thank You princess. for always listening even if you didn’t know you were doing it. I hope that the path your life takes is full of highs and lows, because without the contrast we never really live. I will go put this away and then go sit and enjoy the soft sound of the water, and the cool kiss of the wind on my cheeks one last time. It's strange, I can smell her perfume on the wind, but I also smell Brigid's shampoo. I hope they are getting along in the Summerlands. Guess I will find out soon. Maybe next time I won't have to go so long without my best friend. I wish one of us had had the courage to be in each others lives again. To at least try.

Sorry Grandpa, I am the one who found you
and we will miss you Aaron Tempyst
Love your Juniper Sprout

Cadence closes the small book carefully. Moving slowly around the room she looks at it again. A thousand little things slowly making more sense now. When she reaches the bookcase she slides the little gem between a book called ‘the crystal web’ and ‘Reiki: healing through energy’, before turning to leave the small ritual room. she could show Shiny in the morning, for now she has a lot to think about. Still she pauses before the altar on her way out, and shivers, reaching up to touch her shoulder where she could almost feel a too cold hand for just a moment. Her ears twitching as the breeze almost sounds like a far away ‘thank you’.

Chances and Changes: A Vogonverse Tale

by Coruscating Cloak

5 A message from the past.