//------------------------------//
// Charoite 
// Story: Ultimate Selfishness 
// by Arcanum -Phantasy 
//------------------------------//

	Charoite



"A sleep over?" Diamond asked, watching Applebloom pack two sets of saddlebags.
"Eeyup," Applebloom responded happily, packing her toothbrush. "Every weekend Rarity let's the three o' us spend the night together."
"And you want me to come too?" Diamond asked, genuinely shocked.
"Eeyup!"
Diamond didn't know how to react to this. The fact that she was now living with Applebloom was still difficult for her to wrap her head around, but to be included in her group activities was even more bizarre. 
"You're not just doing this because of last night, are you?" she asked, hollowly.
Applebloom paused.
"Well, Ah will admit, that is part o' it," she said, a twinge of shame in her tone. "But Ah also think spendin' some time with other ponies il' do ya some good."
"Even if it's the ones I treated like dirt for so many years?" she snapped, self-loathing dripping from her words.
Applebloom's eyes narrowed.
"S-Sorry," Diamond sighed. "I-I'm still trying to make sense of all this."
Applebloom's features softened and she gives Diamond's cheek a nuzzle.
"Ah understand. An' that's why Ah think this is such a good idea. Ya need this Diamond."
After a tense moment, she lets out a defeated sigh and nods. 
"Alright, I'll give it a shot."
"Great!" Applebloom cheers. "Now what kind of sleeping bag do ya use?"
"Huh? Sleeping bag? What's that?"
Applebloom raised an eyebrow.
"Really?"



*** 



As the two fillies passed through town to get to Carousel Boutique Diamond couldn't help but feel nervous. Granted, this was the first time she spent the night someplace other than Silver Spoon's house or her more recent accommodations, but that wasn't the biggest reason. It was the dark. During the day, Ponyville was the very definition of peace. Even with the occasional monster attack or near apocalyptic event, the town's tall buildings and warm colors always made you feel secure(while the element bearers made the doomsday situations a little less concerning). But at night, those very same buildings created pony-eating shadows that made one all but forget the warmth of the day. 
Every so often, Diamond would swear she saw something pony-shaped moving in the dark in the corner of her eye. Each time gave her flashbacks of her nightmares. If it wasn't for Applebloom trotting next to her, she definitely would've had a panic attack. The other reason was that they were going to be spending the night at a dress shop. As it was, Diamond didn't trust herself around any kind blade or sharp implement, so the idea of spending a long period of time in a building full of scissors, exacto-knives, and various other cutting tools didn't sit all to well with her.
It's going to be okay, she thought, trembling. Applebloom and her friends will be there to keep an eye on me. There is nothing to be worried about. Nothing.....
She flinched when she felt a warm weight drape across her back. It was then that she noticed Applebloom's foreleg draped across her shoulders. A pang of guilt washed over her at the look of concern in the light yellow filly's eyes.
"Are ya okay," she asked.
"Ye-Yeah," Diamond responded, a slight chill running down her spine. "I'm just a little jumpy I guess. So what do you do at these things?"
"All kinds o' things," Applebloom smiled. "boardgames, truth or dare, sometimes Sweetie Belle talks us intah havin' makeovers, but those don't usually go so well."
"Why's that?" Diamond asked, happy to get her mind off of her paranoia.
"Ya remember the way we looked durin' the talent show a while back?"
"Yeah?" 
"That was gala worthy compared ta' the last makeover we had."
"Yikes ," she cringed. "And I thought my nightmares were scary."
They both laughed at that. 
At that moment, they turned a corner and Rarity's shop came into view.
Oh thank Celestia, Diamond thought with a relieved sigh.
As they closed in on the boutique, Diamond continued to see strange things in the corner of her eye. She moved a little closer to Applebloom, drawing on her new friend's presence for comfort. She was so scared that when they finally made it to Carousel Boutique, she jumped ten feet into the air when the front door opened.
"Applebloom!" Sweetie Belle cheered, trotting out to great her friend. "You made it!"
"Yeah, sorry it took us so long ta' get over here," Applebloom said, sheepishly.
"No kidding," said a slightly peeved voice.
On cue, Scootaloo strolled out of the boutique alongside Sweetie Belle.
"You took so long we thought you weren't gonna show."
"Sorry," Applebloom repeated.
"Eh, its okay," Scootaloo shrugged. " At least you made it."
It was then they noticed Diamond Tiara cowering in a fetal position behind Applebloom.
"Is she okay?" Sweetie asked, concerned.
"Uh, yeah," Applebloom responded uncertainly. "Ah think she jus' got spooked is all."
She turned towards the shaking filly.
"Hey Diamond," she said softly. "Can ya hear me?"
At the sound of her voice, Diamond snapped out of her panicked state. With unsteady hooves, she stood back up and faced the remaining members of the CMC.
"Are you going to be okay?" Sweetie asked.
"Y-Yeah," Diamond responded, blushing a little. "Sorry about that, I haven't been myself lately."
"Can't really blame ya," Scootaloo muttered under her breath.
"We're glad you came too," Sweetie Belle smiled, hugging her.
Diamond didn't know how to react to the sudden show of affection. She flinched for a second, but after a moment, reciprocated. A strange mix of joy and guilt washed over her as she let Sweetie's warmth steady her nerves. She was happy that other ponies aside from the Apple Family honestly cared about her, but she felt horrible that said ponies were the targets of her cruelty.
Why the hell was I so mean to them? They're such great ponies!
After a long moment, Sweetie pulled herself out of they're embrace.
"Feeling better?" she asked.
"Yeah," Diamond answered, forcing back a tear. "Thanks Sweetie Belle."
She smiled.
"By the way," Scootaloo, said, stepping up to Applebloom. "What took you guys so long to get here?"
Applebloom and Diamond blushed, their former aggressor becoming very interested in the ground.
"Well, ya see," Applebloom said, scratching the back of her head. "On the way over here we had ta' stop by a few shops to get Diamond a sleepin' bag, cuz she never had one before now."
The two fillies looked at Applebloom for a minute, then looked at Diamond, than back at Applebloom, a deadpan expression on their faces.
"Really?" they said in unison.
"Hey!" Diamond cried. "What's that supposed to mean?!"
"Well," Scootaloo started. "You've gone camping before, right?"
"Yeah?"
"Then how could you not know what a sleeping bag is?"
"I guess I never needed one," Diamond said, nervously rubbing her left foreleg with her right. "When Daddy and I went camping we would always sleep in a cabin or a lodge."
"Oh," Scootaloo said, sheepishly. "I guess that makes sense."
The four fillies stood in awkward silence for a minute before Sweetie broke it with a somewhat forced, "Well now that everypony's here, let's get this party started!"
Applebloom and Scootaloo gave an cheer of agreement. Then, the three of them stood together and shouted, "CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS SLEEP OVER AT RARETY'S, YAY!"
"Yay....."
What in the name of Celestia did I get myself into?



*** 



The night went better then she thought it would. After stomping the CMC at Mareoploly, Diamond managed to weasel out Sweetie Belle's crush on Button Mash and Scootaloo's feelings for Rumble in a game of Truth-or-Dare. All it cost her was revealing she slept with a teddybear back when she still lived in her family's mansion and use to have a crush on Pipsqueak. Of course, most of the fun came from the dares. In the span of two hours, Applebloom had to make a daisy sandwich blind-folded, Sweetie Belle did a hoof-stand for twenty seconds, Scootaloo wore a one of Sweetie's dresses for seven minutes, and Diamond Tiara did the marekaraina. Next they played some Twister, getting turned around and bent in ways they didn't know was possible. Because the game was set for all three tribes, Applebloom and Diamond were granted several respins due to a lack of wings or horns, giving the two earth ponies a distinct advantage. After a valiant struggle, Diamond just wasn't flexible enough to best her friends. Then came something Diamond was hoping would be excluded from that evenings list of events; makeovers. 
"Oh, hay no," Diamond grimaced, covering the top of her head with her hooves. "If any of you go near my mane they'll regret it!"
"Ah, c'mon Diamond," Sweetie said, holding a brush and comb in her magic. "I just want to rearrange your bangs a little."
"No way."
The little unicorn let out a disappointed groan.
"Scootaloo?"
The orange pegasus cringed.
"Uh, sorry Sweetie. I'm not really into getting all gussied up. Especially after you forced me into that dress."
"Hey," she whined. "You looked good in that."
"Yeah, yeah," she grumbled.
"Bloom?"
Applebloom thought for a moment than said, "What the hay? Sure!"
Sweetie Belle let out an excited squee as she trotted over to her friend, comb and brush at the ready.
Celestia have mercy on her soul, Diamond thought, a slight grin crossing her muzzle.
Scootaloo walked over and planted herself next to the pink filly.
"Looks like Applebloom took a bullet for us," Scootaloo said, watching Sweetie spike up Applebloom's mane in weird angles.
"Yeah," Diamond chuckled.
Scootaloo's expression became a little more serious as she asked, "So, how are ya holding up?"
Diamond looked at the ground, her smile shrinking.
"Okay I guess. I mean, I haven't had any 'episodes' after the Apples took me in, but I'm still a little scared to go to sleep."
"The nightmares, right?"
Diamond nodded.
"It feels kinda weird, you know?" Diamond continued."Me being here, talking to the three of you like this. Heck, knowing I'm still breathing right now is a bit of a shock for me."
Scootaloo draped a foreleg over Diamond's shoulders, giving her a friendly crooked smile.
"And that's just the way we like ya!"
Diamond locked eyes with Scootaloo, a look of shock on her face.
"And everything else, lets just take care of it a little bit at a time. After a while, everything will work out." 
It was one thing to know somepony was glad you were alive, but to actually hear it was something all together different. It was more real and definite as apposed to the theoretical workings of thought. It meant even more that said ponies were willing to help her get through it all in spite of their history. All this warmth she felt inside was too much for her to take all at once, making her thoughts all jumbled.
After a moment of failed attempts at finding her voice, she responded with a fragile "Thanks."
Scootaloo just smiled and said, "No prob."



***



Diamond laid in her pink plush sleeping bag, eyes locked on the ceiling. It had been an hour since she and Scootaloo helped Applebloom return her mane to its natural shape and went to bed. Even though she was tired, her mind was spinning too much to let her sleep. All the memories of how she tortured the CMC, the events leading up to her suicide attempt, how Applebloom had stayed with her after her nightmare, Granny Smith's picnic, and now this sleep over. No matter how many times she thought about it all, it never made any sense to her how they all could be so nice to her after everything she did. What did they all gain out of it? Money? No, the Apples and Rarity both made more then enough to make a living and don't show any of the traits of somepony willing to use dirty tactics to better themselves. Social standing? No, that's definitely not it.
Diamond let out a groan before rolling to her side. If she could just get some sleep.
"Psst! Diamond," came Sweetie's voice from a nearby sleeping bag. "Are you awake?"
"Yeah," she sighed. "Couldn't sleep."
"Worried about your nightmare?"
"Among other things. Hey Sweetie Belle, can I ask you something?"
"Shoot."
"Why did you guys stop me? How did you all know I was going to kill myself?"
Silence, then Sweetie let out a sigh before answering.
"When you gave us your tiara, we knew something bad was gonna happen, so we fallowed you. At first, we didn't know what to do when you got to Ghastly Gorge, but when you jumped we knew we had to stop you."
"Why? Because you were feeling sorry for me?"
"No!" Sweetie squeaked. "It's because...it wasn't what your dad or Silver Spoon would've wanted."
Rage flashed into Diamond.
"What do you know?" she snapped, struggling to keep herself from screaming. "You don't know a thing about what I'm going through, what I've been going through. So what right do you have to tell me what my friend and father would want for me?"
A moment of silence.
"Well?"   
At that, Sweetie Belle pulled herself out of her sleeping bag. With a stern glare, the unicorn filly walked up to Diamond and sat down next to her.
"Your right,"she said, a slight twinge of venom in her tone. "I have no idea what your going through, but at least one pony in this room does."
Her glare turned sad as she snuck a glance at Applebloom.
"And she's willing to do anything to help you."
Diamonds fury extinguished. In its place sat a lead weight of guilt.
"I'm sorry."
Sweetie's features softened and she smiled.
"It's okay. Like you said, I don't know what your going through, but I still want to help you get through this. Even if it's just a little."
"Thanks."
"No problem," she squeaked. 
After finally feeling at ease, Diamond's eyelids started to get heavy.
"Sweetie Belle?" she yawned.
"Yeah?"
"Do me a favore. If I try to do something stupid like that again, do whatever you can to stop me."
Sweetie smiled.
"Deal."