Interlude: So Are We Dating?
~Switchlock~
It’s pretty much every other day I get hit on as a castle maid, but getting the attention like that is what’s kept me alive and not starving this whole time. However, for a pony to pretty much see right through my disguise and still hit on me, especially a clone of the Princess, I was shocked. And the love was just so… pure. It tasted like freaking rainbows and lollipops. I’m thinking it’s a bit addictive too, because now that I’ve had a taste, I can’t stop my mind from going back to the memory.
Which is why I now stand just outside the Cafe. I can just sense her in there, emotions loaded with joy, mischief, and the curiosity of youth. Sensing that, I had to wonder just how young this clone really was. Gathering my nerves, and my personal disguise of a green pegasus stallion, I walked into the cafe.
The false princess was sitting there, all set up like she was waiting for a date. Just the look of the setting made me blush. She was wearing some kind of dress, too. It looked beautiful on her, and the makeup really accentuated it. It gave her a really powerful, yet graceful look.
“Hey, glad you came. I’ve been thinking a lot about changelings lately. I realized I haven’t exactly been asking the good questions about you guys anytime I could.” She greeted me. That gave me pause. She recognised me? How? I haven’t used this form in over a year.
“Uh… how’d you…?” I started nervously. She rolled her eyes.
“Well, it’s kinda hard not to notice how nervous you are, and that you wouldn't stop staring at me. You don’t have to be an Empath to see how nervous you’re acting.” She replied. “Okay, my turn. Did you steal my laptop at some point? Because that form looks just like the one my original character uses. I mean, exactly like him.” She asked. I blinked in confusion.
“Uh… no? What is a laptop?” I asked. She blinked in response, then narrowed her eyes at me.
“It’s a data storage device, loaded up with multiple different programs. Now… I can’t believe I haven’t asked by now, but what’s your name?” She took her turn.
“My given name is Switchlock, but I’ve been using Mirror Hold for the past year.” I answered. Her shock and dropped jaw prevented me from asking my next question.
“Holy shit. I’m actually talking to my OC…” I could feel both a fangasm and slight fear grow from her. That threw me way off. She was nervous? What for?
“Is… something wrong?” I asked, hoping it wasn’t about me. It’d be weird if it was though.
“Oh, nothing much… just… Are you familiar with the Multiverse Theory?” She asked. Before I could answer an affirmative, she continued. “Oh, wait. I know you are. I’m the one that designed your character.”
“Wait, what? What are you talking about?” I asked, confused by that remark.
“Basically, apply the Multiverse theory to any fiction or tall tale you’ve heard, and you’ve got the truth. You were a character I made to roleplay with.” She answered. Wow. That’s… just… wow. I honestly wasn’t expecting that. Though it reminds me of one of my brothers back in the Hive. He was firmly seated in the very same belief that Celly just told me. Back then, he used to be a pretty good author. He often wrote these fantastical stories of these distant worlds, often ones where technology ruled where magic was feared. His most focused on character was...
“Uh… would your name happen to be James Solaris?” I asked on a hunch. Her eyes widened, and she recoiled in massive shock.
“... well then. I guess we really don’t need to explain each other’s origins, now do we?” she remarked. I shook my head.
“No, I guess not.” I agreed. We sat in awkward silence for a moment. “By Faust, my brother is going to freak when he hears you’re real. Or not, since he believes what you just told me. He’s always been kind of a nut about his stories.”
“Oh, so I’m your friend’s OC? Heh. If I’d met my friend’s OC, I’m not sure if I’d be screwed or the luckiest man in the multiverse.” She chuckled. I raised an eyebrow.
“Why’s that?” I asked curiously.
“Because said OC is the freaking Alicorn of Darkness. Chitsuki, the Blood Moon.” She answered with a slight shiver. “Scary powerful.”
“Yikes. How’d you end up here, though? My friend never wrote anything about crossing the dimensional barrier.” I asked.
“Discord.” She answered. Okay, that’s a pretty good explanation. “Wish I could have been there for Moony’s return, though. But, gotta take what you get, you know?”
“Boy, do I ever.” I agreed. “I’ve been living like that for a while.”
“Oh, yeah. How does love taste, by the way? It’s always been something a number of fans of this world have been wanting to confirm.” She asked, changing the topic. I was kinda glad for that. The topic was getting more awkward than when it started.
“Oh, it’s got a wide variety of tastes. Some love tastes sweet, others salty, and even a few varieties taste a bit like… carrot sticks for some reason.” I answered. I heard a muffled laugh, and looked up to see James covering her mouth with both hooves in a poor attempt to hide her blush and laughter. “Wait… Oh, sweet mother of… WHY? That just sounds so freaking dirty!” Celly toppled out of her chair laughing openly.
“I have no freaking clue how that worked, but I am so glad it did!” Celly said before falling into another fit of laughter.
“You okay, Princess?” a guard poked his head in. Celly took a moment to calm down.
“No, I’m fine, Blade. Thanks for the concern though.” She replied once she got her breathing under control. With realization at her comment, I glared at her.
“Oh, real mature, Celly. How old are you? Twelve?” I asked angrily.
“Eightteen, actually. But close.” She answered. Well no wonder she’s so immature. She’s barely out of high school! I was just about to get up and rage quit when she pulled something out of a box by her side. “Chocolate?”
I blinked. “Chocolate..? CHOCOLATE! OH HELL FUCKING YES! GIMME THAT SHIT!” I dived for it, snatching the brown gold out of her hooves and greedily stuffing it down my throat. I noticed Celly laughing, but didn’t care. If she wanted to know how much I treasured this stuff, she should go drink some Sunset Overdrive in the universe with the same name.
“Wow, you really love chocolate.” Celly observed with an amused grin. “Considering your reaction to one, maybe I shouldn’t tell you where the rest is hidden.”
“There’s… moar?!” I gaped at her. “GIMMEGIMMEGIMME!”
“Nope. You gotta earn it.” Celly replied. Oh, COME ON! What the hell kinda restrictions does a pony have to put on Chocolate? It’s fucking chocolate, man! It’s like bacon for the gryphons! “Besides, this is supposed to be a date. Not a chocolate homicide.”
“Wait, we’re dating?” I asked, having not caught on to that particular fact.
“You mean the setting wasn’t obvious?” Celly asked in a deadpan voice, pointing to her dress and the table.
“Oh yeah. I do remember noticing it when I walked in. Guess I forgot.” I admitted. She suddenly grinned, and leaned over the table for a thankfully non-crushing hug.
“Get over here, ya goofy little bugger.” She said jovially. I tasted that special addictive love again and grinned as I consumed it. Now that I tasted it again, I could tell why it tasted so good. It’s because it was meant for me. Not my disguise, not somepony I was pretending to be, it was truly mine. Like the chocolate I was denied. Or maybe not. Still, it was a close second.
“Holy shit, dude, you look high as fuck. Is my love a drug or something?” She asked in wonder. She started poking me when I didn’t respond, but I was still caught up in enjoying the new love. My love. Love I’d regret taking if I didn’t give some back, I realized. So I hugged her back, really tight. I suddenly realized the accidental innuendo I’d made in my head, and I heard a soft pomf as my wings shot up, followed by Celly giggling. “It seems someone is certainly happy to be loved.”
“Whyyy brain. Whyyyyy!?” I cried in outrage of my rebellious, and for some reason horny mind.
“Because reasons” I heard a voice answer me in the back of my head. I turned to glare at the door I’d entered from to find a smug pony waving and smiling at me like a troll before walking away.
“Oh, shut up. I didn’t ask you.” I replied before they left range. I turned back to Celly and found her looking at me oddly. Maybe even a bit suggestively.
“You know… I can think of a way to fix that wing problem…” She whispered very seductively.
“Wait, are you suggesting what I-”
“A cold shower.” She suddenly cut me off. I realized I forgot to check her emotions to confirm my suspicions. There was a lot of mirth in that massive-flanked pony.
“Nah, I think I’d prefer the other way.” I counter trolled. There was another soft pomf as her wings shot up, and she stopped laughing.
“Okay, I'll get the ice cubes.” And suddenly my wings were back under my control.
“Um… I don’t think that’ll be necessary, James.” I said as I watched her get up and head into the kitchen. However, it looked like the comment wasn’t necessary either.
“Damnit! Why the hell did I have the be the freaking sun!” She shouted in frustration from behind the walls. She came back with a noticeably wetter hoof. Hehe. wet hoof.
“Jeeze, what have you been doing in there?” I asked with no small amount of mirth. She flicked a few droplets of water at me in response.
“It's not my fault ice melts when I touch it!” She responded with a pout. I grinned and rolled my eyes in an over exaggerated way.
“Oh, that’s what it was. I totally thought it was something else.” pomf Just as she was getting her wings under control, too.
“Sh-shut up! You just don't want to let any ‘love’ go to waste!” She countered.
“Wooow, at least wait until the second date.” I chided. Man, who knew trolling a princess would be so fun! I know she’s not a real princess, but she seems to have a guard, so might as well be calling her one.
“... You’re evil.” She glared at me. I feigned a hurt look.
“I might be a changeling, but that doesn’t mean I’m evil, you racist pony.” I countered jokingly. She rolled her eyes.
“Racist? Please, I hate everyone equally.” she claimed. I chuckled, recognising the reference. It was one of the random things Discord said while he was out. He was impersonating this one vampony, Alucard, I think his name is. A really popular character among ponies.
“And by that am I supposed to assume you mean you don’t hate anyone?” I asked. Her laugh was my answer. There was the Drug-love again. Oh, sweet euphoria…
“Aaaand, there goes drug-face again. You sure you’re okay?” she asked with a hint of amusement.
“Never better…” I slurred.
“Heh. Jizz and I’ll believe that.” She scoffed. So I did. Heh. The look on her face… “Wow. You actually did it. So, you’re high as fuck and can Cum on command. That’s… pretty cool.”
“Yeah…” I started, but then I realized something. If James ever went into heat… “Oh fuck.”
“What, now? I thought you said to wait for the second date.” she teased. I chuckled, but it was a bit hollow from noticing what I did.
“Funny, James…” She blinked.
“What, is there something wrong?” She asked seriously.
“Just… if you end up in Heat, please go easy on me.” I begged. She blinked and blushed. Pomf goes the Alicorn Wings.
“Uh… alright.” She muttered. Blade, I think his name was, poked his head in.
“Hey, Celly. You want me to leave you two alone for a bit? I can smell it’s getting a bit steamy in here.” He remarked. Pomf goes the changeling’s wings.
Yep. You’re screwed. Literally. A voice told me. I turned to glare at the intruding changeling again, to find it was the same guy.
“Buck off, you freakin perv!” I shouted at him. James laughed.
“Alright Blade. If you really want it to happen, Switch and I can have a little fun.” She replied. Blade chuckled as I stared at James in horror. She was really going to do it? With me?! But we only just met! She turned to me when her guard left.
“Don’t worry. This is only the first date. I’m not as bad as I was a year ago, when I went around using characters to fuck just about anyone on the internet I found willing to put up with my fetishes.” She assured me. I breathed a sigh of relief.
“So… that comment...”
“Was just to get his hopes up that we’d have fun. I’m pretty sure his snoopy little flank is realizing he just got trolled.” She smirked. True to her word, I sensed a blast of shock from around the corner. I grinned and chuckled a troll’s laugh.
“Wow, you’re good.” I complimented.
“When I don’t even try.” She replied. “When I try, that’s when things fuck up.” Yeah, I remember the stories of the Slender Incident. I decided against mentioning it.
“Well, I’d say this was a rather successful first date. If you could call it that, anyway.” I said, getting my composure. She smiled.
“Yeah, I suppose it was. But to me, it’s not exactly a date unless we plan on doing it again.” She replied with a prompting look.
“Yeah… I think I’d like that. You open Friday at 10?” I answered. She giggled.
“I think I’m more open than you at the moment. I’ve literally got no jobs. Guess we’ll meet then though.” She responded. “Catch ya ‘round. I’ve gotta find Bluey and meet up for our weekly Gentleman’s training.” She could split her face with the grin she pulled at the mention of that. I laughed.
“Hope it ends well. That guy seriously need to get that attitude fixed.” I genuinely commented. She nodded.
“Yeah. That’s what I’m trying to do. So far, he’s proven to be really resilient.” She frowned.
I snorted. “Heh. Maybe you should drag his hide off to Queen Chrysalis. Make him a changeling, and he’ll definitely learn a lot quicker. That is, if he doesn’t starve first.”
She blinked. “You can do that?”
My turn. “Uh… no, not me. It has to be a Queen. And even then, it’s a huge taboo among our kind. Converts must be willing.”
“Huh… Well, see ya. I’ve got plans to make and a Bluebitch to fix.” She said as she left. I snorted at the name as I left too.
“Heh. Bluebitch. Reminds me of when he got genderflipped.” I chortled. “Certainly a lot more fitting.”
Then I froze. “Wait a bucking second, she’s making Plans?!”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bW7Op86ox9g