I carefully made my way toward Silver Spoon's car, horror movies and PSA endings flashed into my mind the closer I approached.
While waiting for me, Silver Spoon had been fiddling around with her hair, and I couldn’t help but noticed how nice she looked. She did have a little makeup on, something I had never been a fan of to begin with. Though, she wasn’t as dolled up as I would have fear, which confused me. Wasn’t she supposed to be setting me up by looking hot to make so i'd my guard?
As I got closer, she saw me coming, and waved. “Hey, Button. Ready?” she asked while leaning over to unlock the car’s door.
Once I made it to car—egg free—I took my seat. “I suppose so. I mean… yeah, looking forward to this.” I grabbed onto the door as the engine roared to life.
“Just relax,” she assured, “I promise, I don’t bite.”
I nodded, then put on a fake smile. “Of course, having fun already.”
She laughed.
I cringed.
Once we left the school parking lot, she said, “Hey, I know I said the mall, but, could we go, somewhere else?”
I snapped my neck at her. “Huh?”
Her fingers began to tap on the steering wheel. “Yeah, I mean, malls are so like, a week ago. How about um…” The car stopped as we reached a traffic light.
“We could go to a bowling alley?” I suggested.
“Sounds perfect!” she stepped on the gas as the light changed. “Sorry,” we slowed down. “I mean, if that’s what you want to do.”
I leaned back and shrugged. “Sure, maybe we can play some arcade games since we’re not going to the mall.” I began to pull out my phone, typing a message to my mom and my friends.
“You sending any good messages?” she asked, with a hint of worry in her tone.
Nearly dropping my phone when she spoke, I answered, “No! Just my mom, she wants to know where I go.”
Silver Spoon kept her head forward, slouched into her seat, then spoke with a hint of depression, “Sure.”
“Uh-huh.” I pressed the send button, telling Rumble and mom not to worry and that we were going to the bowling alley. I then leaned myself against the door. While I sat there, it began to truly sink in; I was on a date with Silver Spoon, the second most popular girl in school, and I didn’t want to be here. As I said earlier, I did want to do this, for Sweetie Belle’s and my own benefit, but it was still nothing more than a waiting game to see what Silver Spoon and her friends would do next.
Obviously this change of plans was to throw my mind for a loop and confuse any friends I might have told. Though, why the bowling alley? It wasn’t as if a lot of students hung out there, so what was her plan?
“Well,” she said once we arrived, snapping me out of a semi-conscious trance, “here we are.”
It was a rather quiet day at the alley, no leagues at the moment, with most other Jr. High and High School having something better to do. There were only the occasional grade student and their family entering and exiting the building. Other than that, it was just me and Silver Spoon as far as I could tell.
“I wouldn’t think you’d like bowling,” I said, breaking the ice while I kept looking around for any suspicious activity.
“Not really,” she then looked up at me and smiled. “But, how about that arcade? I take it you like video games.”
I sighed. “Sure.”
Her eyes narrowed. “You okay?”
My hands slid into my pockets. “Peachy.”
She chuckled nervously. “Right…” she then held out her hand for me to take. “Shall we?”
I looked at it while a sickening feeling began to raise in my stomach. “S… Sure.” Hesitantly, I took it and felt chills run up my arm.
“Okay then,” she added, “lead the way, good sir.”
I just kept my arm locked, not changing mood as we made our way forward. The whole time, I kept scanning the parking lot for Diamond Tiara or anyone else popular. Then, just as we were about to enter, Silver Spoon pulled her hand out of mine and looked to her feet.
“You don’t think this is real, do you?” she said.
I stared at her. “What?”
She huffed and pushed her glasses in. “You think this is just some set up, don’t you?”
I let out a satisfied breath. “Okay, so you know that I’m onto you.”
She gasped. “Wh—”
“Can we just get whatever you’re up to over with?” I shouted to the parking lot, “If all you want to do is humiliate me, go ahead and try!” I placed my hands on my hips. “You think you got me, but I got—”
A small hand swatted me on the back of my head.
After I moaned in pain, I turned to see Silver Spoon, on the verge of tears. She started to say something, but nothing came. Then, she stomped her foot, screamed, and stormed back to her car.
Stunned, I looked around my surrounding. A few people were staring, but none of them came from Canterlot High.
It could be she was still trying to set me up to let my guard down by making me feel bad for her, but…
“Silver Spoon!” Chasing after her, I caught her stumbling to unlock her car.
“Just go away, you retard!” she cried as she fumbled with the keys.
I flinched, but held firm as I pushed past her to keep her from getting into the car. “I’m sorry, okay!”
“Oh?” she said, full attention on my, eyes flaring, “So you’re not just some jerk who really wanted to go on a date with me?”
“Well… I, um, you see,” sadly, when in a tight corner, I wasn’t the best at lying.
She groaned and pushed me. “Just get out of my way and we can forget this ever happened.” Her tears began to form up again. “Can’t believe I thought I could have something nice for once.” She unlocked her car.
I pushed it closed.
All I had to do, was let her go. She would leave, tell her friends who would make sure my life was a hell for a while until Sweetie Bell’s new girlfriend stole their attention and everything would go back to normal. Meanwhile, I could go home, cuddle with Charlie, and tell everyone tomorrow that when we got to the bowling alley, she just told me to wait inside and then ran away.
Yet...
“Look, I,” I looked at her, head down, eyes teary and head quivering. “Um, can we talk?” I used both of my hands to hold her shoulder. This, I guess, calmed her down a bit, and it didn’t feel too awkward for me. “Can we just… talk about this like adults for ten minutes? Ten? If you still want to leave afterwards, I won't stop you, okay?”
She pushed my hands off, but stopped and leaned onto the car.
We didn’t talk right away, neither of us sure what to make of this. Which I suppose allowed us to calm down to think about what to say. Although, what was I going to say? That I just did this to protect my friends and that I didn’t trust her? I wanted to believe this was all an act, but if it was, she was putting on one good show.
Thankfully, she was the first to speak. “So… Monday, when you said my hair was pretty, did you even mean it?”
“Well…” how much did I want to say?
She whimpered as her head slaked.
“My counselor told me that weekend to compliment the first pretty girl I saw that day!” maybe not the whole truth, but either way, I didn’t care. One way or another, this date had to go on. Even if it meant more humiliation, it would at least help Sweetie Belle.
She shot her head up. “Oh, well,” she twirled her hair before she coughed. “So someone had to tell you to say that?” She then adjusted her glasses. “I suppose someone told you to ask me out and to say you liked my profile page too?”
“I…” I blinked, and switched to the offensive. “Wait, what about you?”
She snapped her attention toward myself, “Excuse me?”
Memories from when she called Sweetie Belle gay while taunting me began to flash in my mind, and I got a bit angry. “How do I know this isn’t some prank you’re setting up and that you are just trying to make me feel sorry for you?”
She gasped. “What? I…! Why would I do that?”
My mind was thinking, really? “Why wouldn’t you? You never had a problem doing something like that to me or my friends in the past. And you certainly didn’t seem to think twice when you called me and Sweetie Belle gay last week.”
She tried to look angry and pissed off, yet, even with Asperger syndrome, I could see her cracking up as she slumped against the car and slide down the door till she sat on the ground. There, she hugged her ankles and began to sniffle.
“I… first off, that was just Tray. Second…yeah, you’re right, not like I acted any better, and it’s not like I stopped him.” she sobbed. “Why would you trust me? Why did I ever think I deserved a decent guy?”
Cautiously after I looked around a bit, I sat myself down next to her.
“Have I… is that really what I’m like?” She asked. “Of course I am! I couldn’t even tell my friends that I really do like you and had to make it seem like this was just some haze I was setting up.”
I knew it!
“Though, now I have to explain to them why we never showed up to the mall tomorrow.”
I felt myself frown.
She then cried some more and turned her back on me. “If you want to, go, I won’t blame you.” I saw her lift her glasses off. “I can… at least drive you home if you want. I’ll even promise to say I stood you up.”
That sounded nice, just laying on my bed playing video games with Charlie. However, as I clenched my fist and rubbed my head, I said, “Look, I…” I blinked. There was no way I was going to tell her I was asexual, however, there was something I could do. “If you want to go and tell everyone what a jerk I’ve been, I won't stop you.” I picked myself up, dusted myself off, and lifted a hand towards Silver Spoon. “However, if you like, I wouldn’t mind trying this date again, see where it goes. You look like a… nice girl.” I forced past my comfort zone to hold her hand. “Come on, I didn’t ask the most popular girl in school to not go on a date with her.”
She looked back from my hand to my face. “So, you…” she snorted in some mucus, “you trust me?”
‘Not in a million years.’
“I do.”
She then giggled and took my hand. “Alright.” She then stood up and locked my arm again. “I’m sorry I’ve always been so mean to you and your friends, but, I hope to make this night worth it.”
I nodded and we walked inside. While I wanted to jerk away from her touch as we held arms, it didn't feel so bad.
*****
One thing we quickly agreed on was to not bowl. Neither of us really played, and we both just looked dumb doing it when we tried one round. So instead, we headed to the arcade to play some video games.
At first, for a good hour, we didn’t say anything. We would just play games in awkward silence, although things began to lighten up a bit as time went on, mostly from my end. Even as time ticked by, I never once saw any students from my school. Not even my own friends seemed to be around.
I had thought about texting them to see where they were at, but I was to afraid with Silver Spoon watching me. However, truth be told, as no humiliation happened to me, I began to relax more because, I was having fun. Maybe not perfect, but just playing games, not worrying about school, it put me in a calming and more pleasant mood.
“Didn’t think you be into video games, let alone being not half bad at them.” I complimented Silver Spoon. “Um, no offense.”
Her lips twitched. “He speaks. Glad to know you think so highly of me.”
“That’s not what I… nevermind.” I slapped my forehead as I handed her some more quarters. “You have any favorite non-arcade games?”
She made her way to one of the fighting games. “I do, a few here and there believe it or not.” She looked around then back at me. “Hey, can I tell you a secret.”
A secret, huh? I though. “Go ahead.”
“Well,” she said as the last quarter went in our fighting game. “I kind of want to be the person who makes the graphics for computers and video games.”
I nearly got KO’ed. “Be serious!”
“I am!” she hit me with a right uppercut in the game. “I mean, it’s clearly a promising market, and I’ve always enjoyed doing graphic effects.” She tried to sneak in an attack, but I caught her in a little slip up and won the round. “Grr. You should see what I have planned for the yearbook.”
I grinned at my victory. “Can’t wait.” The next round started off. “Wait, is that why your homepage had so many neat little effects?”
She straightened her glasses and muttered, “Yup.”
I ended up getting punched in the face and KO’ed. “I meant what I said!” I quickly turned my attention to her. “I don’t go online a lot, but that was by far one of the best sites I have ever seen.”
“Thanks.” Her attention quickly turned towards the screen for the final round.
“So, if that’s what you want to do, why the yearbook?”
She bit her lips. “I figured it was one of the few classes that allowed me to work with a computer. Thought about doing the newspaper for a while, but it wouldn’t have allowed as much time with working on designs.”
I ducked under one of her kicks. “You know we have a tech class and club, right?”
She moaned. “Yeah, and then what would Dia and Tray think?”
Taking the opportunity while she sighed to power up my attack, I sent in one last blow to win. “Well, popular or not, they are your friends. Why wouldn’t they understand?”
She flipped herself around to lean on the machine. “You wouldn’t get it.”
I frowned and leaned against the game too. “Probably. I mean, what would I know about friendship anyways?”
I turned my head to her when she started to giggle.
“What?”
She sighed and began to smile. “I mean, I’m on a date, with you.” She joined her fingers and rested her hands on her chest. “I had to convince the girls and Tray that this was just some sort of haze, and I’m sure any minute one of them is going to text me wondering where I am.”
Her phone began to ring.
“Speak of the devil.” She then pulled it out, quickly looked over whatever it said, and shoved it back into her pocket.
“Who was it?” I asked.
She adjusted herself. “The devil herself.” She then leaned up, grabbed my hands and said, “Come on, how about some air hockey? Bet I can beat you this time.”
I smirked. “Yeah right.”
****
Ten minutes and a score of 24-3 in Silver Spoon’s favor later, my head rested on the table as she began to do a victory cheer.
“Yeah, yeah, laugh it up.” I said as I pushed myself up. “I still rule in the virtual world.”
She stuck out her tongue. “Hey, just because I’m miss popular, doesn’t mean I can’t beat you at your own games.”
I crossed my arms. “Is that so?”
She grinned. “Okay, how about we make this night a little more interesting.”
My ears twitched. “I’m listening.”
“From now on, when we play a game… the loser has to answer a question about themselves. Whatever the winner wants.”
I raised my eyebrows. “Within reason.”
She shook her head. “We’ll see.”
I nodded. “Right, so what game—”
“Hang on, I won this one, so you have to pay up.”
My eyes widened. “But… But—”
“I told you about wanting to be a game designer when you beat me in the last game we played.”
Technically true, so I crossed my arms and nodded. “Okay… what do you want to know about me?”
“Do you have a crush on Sweetie Belle?”
My eyes widened. “Pass.”
“Oh come now, Button. I mean, since she’s with Scootaloo—”
My mouth fell to the floor. “What, how?”
“It’s just a hunch I had, though your reaction confirmed it.”
I slapped my forehead. “She’s coming out about it tomorrow!” I said before quickly covering my mouth.
Silver Spoon held up a hand “Hey, it’s safe with me, I promised. Besides, I had a feeling you just asked me out to stop Dia from pushing that truth out of her anyways.”
I hissed at her, but held in any words. My hands reached for my phone, only to have it slide away. It wasn’t as if people wouldn’t find out, and I found myself wanting to hear more about what she had to say first.
“So,” she went on, “I guess the better question would be,” her smile began to falter, “did you ever like her, or do you still?”
“Well, I,” I paused. “She was one of my first friends, if she…”
“If she, what?” Silver Spoon looked hurt. “Button, I—”
“Okay, to make a long story short, I don’t have a crush on Sweetie Belle.” That seemed to cheer her up a bit. “Though, I could tell a longer version if you like.”
She smiled. “Alright, go ahead.”
“Thank you,” I then felt myself relaxed as I told the story. “Prior to Sweetie, I only had my dog that I could talk to and find comfort with. Mom too, I guess, but I didn’t mind. However, I would have liked a friend, but considering how many would look at me funny, I never tried very hard.” I stretched out my arms. “Then one semester, I ended up sitting next to her in a class. At first, there wasn’t too much to it, just someone I sat next to everyday, a polite hello every morning, and she would smile back. “I then thought to how, when I was with her, I never really thought about her as a possible girlfriend. Mostly because she didn’t try to act flirty with me, and because no one at the time thought she would date me, so they didn't bother to tease us back then.”
I stiffened up. “I… I don’t really think there was much more to it than that. We slowly became friends, sat next to each other next semester, and then she offered me a seat next to her other friends at lunch and that was that. The idea of me liking her as my girlfriend didn’t cross my mind for a while until someone asked me about it in high school.”
“So,” she began to twirl her hair, “did you ever at one point like her? Sounds hard to believe you never had any feelings towards her.”
I started to protest, until I decided to answer, “Maybe a little, but I’m okay that I didn’t end up with her.” I guess it was still true enough that I felt somewhat like that to Sweetie Belle. “She’s still a sweet girl to hang out with, but I think I do like her much more as a close friend.”
Silver Spoon cooed. “Alright, I suppose that’s enough.” She then flipped a quarter and headed to a shooter game. “I’ll get more out of you in time.”
I shook my head. “You are so on.” Although, as she walked past me and smiled, I couldn’t help but feel my cheeks warm up.
*****
“We’re doing basketball next time.” Silver Spoon moaned once the game had ended.
“Come now, you didn’t do that bad,” I lied. “However,” I set the rifle down and cracked my knuckles, “my turn to get to know you some more.”
She flushed. “Okay,” she adjusted her glasses, “What would you like to know?”
There was a lot I did ‘want’ to ask her, but I didn't know of which questions I could count on her telling the truth. So I asked, “Do you really like Tray?” At the moment, I was thinking, since she asked me about my 'suppose cruse' I’d ask about her supposive boyfriend. Of course, being me, I only thought about that being a bad idea after it had left my mouth. “No, wait! Never mind, you don’t have to answer!” I began to sweat. ”How about—”
She held up a hand. “Relax, I asked you about your love life, seems only fair I answer you about mine, dork.”
My eyes narrowed. “Hey!”
She giggled. “I meant it as a compliment.”
I shrank back. "Alright.”
Her playful tone then began to diminish as she rubbed one of her elbows. “If I’m honest… it’s something I’ve wanted to get off of my chest for a while.” She took a seat on one of the benches and I joined her. “I… I can’t say I don’t like him, or never did, I do! Sort of. Or, rather, did…” She took off her glasses and wiped them off.
As she did so, I found myself mesmerized by her eyes. Something about—
She put them back on. “ You know, lets not talk about it. Most guys wouldn’t care anyways.”
I knew I should only have cared because this was supposed to be a distraction from Sweetie Belle's identity. Yet, when I told her, “I care.” And I found I really meant it.
She gave me a small smile, believing I meant it as well. “Thanks. Well, we met sometime in Jr. High. I didn’t think about it much then, him and I as a couple. However, as Dia and I began to get popular, and he became quarterback of the football team, well, it honestly just kind of happened. Like, one day we weren’t a couple, the next, we just were, as if it was how things should be. We went on a date shortly after, but it started off more or less as; this is High School, you’re supposed to be paired up with this person kind of deal.”
I lowered my head and placed my hands in my pockets. “No offense, but that sounds like pretty dumb logic to me.”
She sighed. “Yeah, but it wasn’t as if I had a lot of other options.”
I blinked. “Wait, what? Aren’t you one of the prettiest girl in school? I’d have thought guys would be asking you out all the time.”
She blushed. “Um, well,” her smile faded, “you know, no one ever calls me beautiful.”
“Huh?” I found that hard to believe.
“Hot and sexy, sure, but never just beautiful.”
I could buy that. “Ah! I guess that makes sense,” I said dryly, quilt rising.
We had reached the next game, a zombie shooter game with a red and blue shooter. “Though, is that a problem?”
She picked up the red one. “Well,” she looked at the game, then back at me with a smirk, “that is another question, I’ll answer it if you win.”
I grabbed the blue gun and inserted my coins. “Sounds like a plan.”
*****
“Oh wow,” Silver Spoon breathed, “that was… that was sure a close match.”
“Yeah,” I panted alongside with her as we looked at our scores, Button 4,391, Silver 4,252. “I…” I put the gun down, “why don’t we call it a draw, and we can both freely ask each other something.”
She made a cute little giggle and replied, “It’s a deal.”
We then made our way to the snacks bar, ordered some nachos, and I went first. “Alright, so, do you not like to be called sexy or...” I paused, and thought of something else. “Actually, forget that, I have another question that’s been on my mind.”
“Alright, shoot,” she offered as she began to munch on a chip.
“Why do you like to pick on us?”
Her whole body froze up as she stopped chewing. She then swallowed, and said, “Ask something else.”
My eyes narrowed. “Silver.”
She turned away from me. “Can we just drop that?”
Not this time. I hadn’t realized it until I said it, but this was still Silver Spoon. The girl who had cheered on when some of the guys flushed my head in a toilet, called me gay, and even had, herself, once slipped me a very specail valentine card one year saying, ‘no one will ever love you.’
It took Charlie a whole week to calm me down from that one.
“No, or does a certain cheering when I got swirlies in the elementary school not ring a bell?”
Her chest began to tighten. “I… that was you?"
I crossed my arms. “Or how about recently when you cheered on Tray as he hurt Sweetie Belle on Friday, then decided to pestered me about possibly being gay?"
He fingers tightened in her lap. “Okay, so that was a little mean, but—”
My face began to convulse. “Or does a certain Valentine’s day in the fourth grade slip your mind?”
That seemed to really hit a nerve. “No, I… NO! That couldn’t have been you!”
“Oh, like it would be better if it was some other poor autistic kid.”
Her breathing began to quicken.
I wasn’t done. “Or how about when—”
“I’m sorry, okay! I know it was wrong, and that this doesn’t make up for it, but I wasn’t always like that!”
I stopped and blinked “Huh?”
She sighed and turned to face me while she pointed at her glasses. “Second grade, that's when I first got my glasses. The moment I walked into class, people started calling me four eyes. It… I guess it wasn’t that bad, but it still hurt.” She folded her hands together. “Though, after class, I let out my anger on some girl with freckles. Next thing I knew, instead of everyone laughing at me, they were laughing with me.” She then began to smirk sadly. “Was how I first meet Dia actually...” With that, she stopped and looked nervously up to me. “Of course, now you’re going to criticize me, aren’t you?”
I did want to, after all, even if she was picked on, that did not make it okay to pick on others. However even so I said, “Well, I guess I can see where you’re coming from.” I stuck my hands in my pockets.
“You do?”
“Yeah,” I tapped my knees together. “I mean, whenever someone says something mean to me, I usually like to play some action games to let my frustrations out.” I gave her a smile. “Guess you just didn’t have a better way.”
“Yeah, and,” she paused and began to fidget around with the last chip, “I guess, while I should have known better, it just seemed like, if I’m not the one picking on someone, I would have been picked on myself.” She then looked at me. “Course,” her face began to scrunch up, “by doing that, all I’m doing is hurting people and making them hate me, but if I don’t, I’ll just get picked on and… and…”
She was silent after that.
Meanwhile, I was taken back. But I stayed in my seat, fighting myself back and forth on if I should get up or not. Then at last, remembering that I had nothing to lose since there was a still a chance this was a trap, I hopped out of my seat and took her hand.
“Hey, now, don’t be like that, Silver." She stopped for a moment and looked me in the eyes. “Sure, you may have done some rotten things, but, I forgive you.” I then really pushed my luck, and drew her into a hug.
While she didn’t hug me back right away—perhaps a bit off guard—she did return the hug shortly after. She wrapped her arms around my neck, rested her head on my shoulder, and just laid there for a while.
At first, I wanted to push her away. It wasn’t supposed to be like this, and I still didn’t fully trust her. Yet, after seeing her open her whole heart up for me, and in this warm embrace, I felt, happy. It was nice, comfy, and I soon found both my hands holding onto her back as she continued to hug me and sobbed a little more while I rested my own head on her shoulder. I admired the sweet—yet not heavily perfumed—scent of her hair as we held each other for a bit.
At last she pulled away, turned her head and blushed, then said, “So, um…”
I looked at a nearby clock. “Up for another game? We sure have been here a while, but I still have an hour or two before I have to be home. Oh wait, you still get to ask something.”
She adjusted her glasses. “Actually, if you’re up for it, want to do something else?”
I raised an eyebrow “Um… okay, what?”
She grabbed my hand and led me to the exit. “Just trust me, I’ll tell you anything else you want about me.”
Any joy I had felt melted away at the words ‘trust.’ It was all too good to be true, this was the moment she would surprise me with some mean prank.
Although, I fought every urge to show it. “Alright,” I said as she dragged me outside, “whatever you say!”
*****
We drove for a little bit, and before any panic attacks could sink in, she made a sharp turn and ended up in Canterlot Gardens, the local community park.
“Come on!” Silver Spoon said as she unbuckled her seat belt, rushed over to my side, and opened the car door for me.
I turned my head around so she wouldn’t see my face or disappointment.
“Come now,” she encouraged, “I promise, nothing will happen.”
I didn’t move. Instead, I crossed my arms and looked away. It was starting to get the best of me. While I knew I had to do this, all the years of being picked on and harassed.
I then felt a hand on my shoulder. “Please, Button,” she spoke in a calm and welcoming tone.
Seeing as how I had to do whatever this was, I took one last deep breath and put on a false smile. I then turned around to face her. “Alright, I…I—”
I caught her looking right at me, inches away from my face as I had nowhere to stare except for her eyes. Something about her eyes, the way the reflected off her glasses, the way it reminded me of the past two hours we had played arcade games. The things we had done, talked about, and bounded over.
Apparently, she felt something too as beads of sweat started to run down her face, her hand not leaving my shoulder as the other one held the car door. That soon changed as the car door hand made it’s way onto my hand that had rested on my lap. Then, as we stared at each other, her head began to inch closer, and closer to mine—
I jolted up, nearly knocking her back. “Right,” I said from outside the car, hand still held in hers. “So, where are we going?”
With a sigh, she mopped, “This way.” She then pulled me along, as all I could think about was the idea of kissing Silver Spoon, or rather, the idea that I found the idea of kissing disgusting.
It wasn’t just Silver Spoon herself, it applied for any kisses. I would always feel off put when I would see a couple kiss in the hallway or a pair of actors make out in a movie. Whenever a pair of characters in a game or novel kissed, I would skip over it. Even when I had tried to imagine Sweetie Belle and I being a couple, no matter how comfortable I would get with the idea, the furthest my asexual mind would let me get was holding her while on a park bench. If I ever tried to think of a kiss…
In any case, I put my mind off it as Silver Spoon led me on. She picked up a little as we moved along, but her tight grip on my hand kept me on guard. Now, aside from worrying if her friends were hiding in the bushes, I now had to deal with feelings that I might be falling for her and then the dilemma—
I realized what I just though as I held her hand.
It couldn’t be, it wasn’t supposed to be, even if I was straight. This wasn’t right, no matter how I looked at it. Those nacho’s at the bowling alley must have been bad, that was why my stomach felt tingly, and why I was worried about possibly hurting her feelings.
Silver Spoon seemed to notice as well when she came to a stop and looked at me.
“You okay?” she asked.
“Yeah fine! I mean, never better.”
She bite her left cheek, then added, “Well, it’s just around this turn.”
“What is?”
I was soon answered as we made our way to the statue section of the park.
It was a quiet place around this time, likely because there were better places for anyone to do things at night. There were lights, but it wasn’t the brightest part of the park. All around, the park had about fifteen different statues of various things and people. Here rested about eight of them.
Silver Spoon then let go of my hand and pulled something out of her pocket.
“Say cheese!”
My eyes widened as my hands shielded my face.
Eyes closed, I heard a groan. “What part of no funny business did I not make clear, you egghead?”
I lowered my hands, only to see nothing had happened save for a camera in Silver Spoon's hands.
“Um… sorry. Just not a… camera guy.”
Her eyes narrowed. “Whatever.” She turned away from me and began taking pictures of the statues.
I watched. “So… you come out here a lot?”
“Uh-huh.” She blankly said as she took another picture.
I gulped. “So… for any reason? I mean, it’s a good location, I guess.”
She puffed, lowered her camera, then plopped down on a park bench.
“Okay.” I made my way over to her. “I guess I made you upset—”
She slowly clapped. “Bravo, Button, bravo.”
Women, I thought, but held in. “Look, I—”
I sat down on the bench, and she scooted away.
“Can’t we—”
“What’s it going to take?” she snapped.
I stumbled back. “What?”
She stared at me. “I know I’m a horrible person, and that you’re just doing this to help your friend.” She then began to fidget with her camera. “But I thought we were having a good time, I thought you were starting to like me.”
“I… I do, Silver.” I placed a hand on hers.
She jerked it away.
For a moment, I had a thought. A rather dangerous one, but one I couldn’t stop thinking about. She wanted me to trust her, she wanted to know more about me, why I couldn’t kiss her back there. However, it also meant doing something every part of my autistic and childhood told me not to.
“I’m asexual!” I said before I could stop myself.
She blinked a few times, then said, “What?”
“I’m… I’m…” it was too late now. I realized that this would only make it worse. Now she would really hate me (which I shouldn’t have cared about anyways). So with that, I said, “You see…”
*****
I told her what asexual meant, and how I had found out through a book that I was either asexual or demisexual. After I told her the difference, I explained why I felt uneasy around the idea of kissing and (to a lesser effect) sex and why I more easily called her beautiful rather than sexy.
Once I was done, she just stared straight ahead, not sure what to think or even if she could believe it.
“Um… Silver Spoon?” I snapped my finger and got no response. “If you um… want to scream at me or tell everyone—”
“So you might be a demi instead?’ she asked in a desperate way.
I looked around nervously. “Well… I suppose so. Then again, the book never said I couldn’t fall in love either way. It’s just that I can’t get comfortable—” I blinked at her pleading eyes. “Wait, you’re not mad at me?”
“Um, why should I?” she said as she scooted closer to me. “I mean,” she exhaled, “yeah, it’s a bit to take in,” she placed a hand on mine, “but I’m glad you came forward and didn’t try to hide it.”
Hesitantly, I chose to interlocked my fingers with her's. “Um, thanks.”
As our fingers intertwined, she gazed into my eyes. “How much then, did you really mean?”
“Huh?”
“With me being pretty? I guess a lot of it was just to draw attention away from Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo, but…Well, didn’t we have fun tonight? Did you, at any point, mean any of it?”
I bought myself some more time to think. “First, can you answer me something, then I’ll answer you honestly.”
Her grip on my hand loosened, then she held on even tighter and said, “Okay.”
“If this is real, then why do you like me? In all honesty? Forgive me, but, a loser like me, with a popular and beautiful girl like you? All I did was call you beautiful and ask you out, then I say I’m asexual and you still seem to be into me. Why?”
She bit her lips and looked down, her cheeks flushed, then she said, “Be… because you’re the first person to ever call me pretty.”
I gulped.
“You… you seemed like a guy who didn’t just think of me as some sort of sex toy.” Her breath became puffy. “Though, I admit, when you first complimented me on Monday, I didn’t know how to feel, may have even though you were just another dumb guy. Then... I don’t know, I guess I did some self-thinking as the rumors about us floated around, and then when I asked you in chemistry if you really meant it, and you said yes, I guess that´s when I started to think of you differently.”
She used her free hand to twirl her hair. “It took a little more time after that, since I was in denial, and thinking about when, and if, I would get back with Tray. Then, when I realized I was thinking about if I really wanted to get back with Tray, that’s when I knew I had a crush on you.”
She looked back into my eyes, as I felt my arm hairs rising. “Then, when you acted all cool yesterday and called me beautiful, that’s when I knew, no, hoped that you would ask me out. While you caught me a little off guard right after class, along with everything Dia was saying and with how rude Tray had been acting, when you made that cute little act to ask me out,” she dreamily sighed and squeezed my hand, “I guess that’s when I truly started to like you, and wanted to give this a chance.”
I tried to look at her, but I couldn’t. “Thanks, but… I just said what I thought would give me the best chance at asking a girl out. For a bit, I thought I’d tried to act like Tray would. You know, call you hot and sexy? But that didn’t feel right, so I went with what I though was the more gentlemen approach even though I was counting on you to reject me.”
“Why?” she paused, “No, I guess that’s a dumb question.”
I shot up. “No, I think it’s a good question.”
She smiled, then asked, “So… It’s your turn to answer my question.”
‘I… ” I thought a bit on it, before I said, “Well, I guess you only wondered if I thought you were attractive last Friday. And I guess it was Tray who called Sweetie Belle gay.”
“Lesbian.” Silver Spoon corrected.
I raised a finger, only to laugh as I realized that she said something funny that wasn’t too offensive.
We ended up laughing with each other.
“Okay.” I squeezed her hand. “I mean, you even told Tray to back off yesterday before I asked you out.”
“Well, yeah, I was sick of him acting like a jerk.”
It was then, with that one little detail, I could no longer deny it; this was real. Silver Spoon really did like me, and she had no intention to hurt me.
“This… This is real, isn’t it? You really do like me, and you don’t have some plan to humiliate me? Ow!”
Her response came in the form of her hand unlocking from mine and punching me in the shoulder. “Of course it’s real, you idiot!”
I rubbed my shoulder. “You know I still have a lifetime of grudges towards you!”
She leaned onto the bench. “Yeah, so imagine my surprise when you actually asked me out.”
I thought on that, and said, “I guess,” I set my hand next to hers, not touching it just yet. “Though, I guess I’m the one who’s been acting like a jerk.”
She turned her head towards me with a puzzling look in her eyes.
“I thought this whole time you were just trying to haze or do something mean to me, so I went along with all this, having no intention to… to…”
Silver Spoon began to lean in.
I sighed, and let it out. “I guess if you don’t want to stick around, that’s fine, I deserve it. But,” I looked down to our hands and placed mine on top of hers, “I had fun tonight, and I even got to like you a little. You’re an incredible person when you’re not being a bully. I’m not sure what I can tell you, being asexual and all, but,” I took a deep breath, sat myself up and took her other hand. As I did so, for once, I felt a tingle run up my spin. Only this time, as I looked into those eyes, the eyes I was starting to adore, it felt good. "I think you are beautiful, Silver Spoon. Maybe I didn’t mean it before, but, I mean it now.”
She then began to sniffle up as she pulled one of her hands away to wipe her eyes clear.
“Sorr… sorry,” she said. She then looked at me, same dreamy expression Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo now shared with each other. “I…” she looked down at our hands, “this, um, isn’t too uncomfortable for you, is it?”
I blinked, then I nearly panicked and said, “NO! No, I mean,” I closed my eyes. “it's fine." I made a point by scooting closer while I pulled her to my side.
She let out a cute little ‘eep’ and I laughed along then wrapped my arm around her to experience more of this feeling of…
Was love the right word? In any case, that was the best word I could think of to explain how I felt then, holding her, looking into her eyes.
“Yeah,” I nodded, “this is nice.”
Silver Spoon beamed. “Thanks, Button.” She then rested her head on my shoulder as I leaned on her.
We then sat there for a bit, looking at the statues around the park, not speaking but occasionally one of us would adjust a little till we got comfortable. After a while though, I began to have a thought. I wasn’t sure how well it would end, but I decided to go for it anyways.
“Hey, Silver?”
“Yeah?”
“…About earlier, in the car, were you trying to kiss me?”
She squirmed in my arms. “Maybe, but, if you don’t—”
“Well,” I said, feeling my skin crawl as I thought about such an act. “If you want, and if it’s okay, I… I wouldn’t mind giving it a try. Or, is that even something you’re supposed to ask?”
She then pulled herself off of me, but kept a hand held to mine. “Are you sure? I…” she ran her free hand through her hair and blushed. “Button, we really don’t have to. If you’re not ready,” she closed her eyes. “I have no problem with that. If it’s something you don’t like, I can live with it.”
“Well, it isn’t,” I confessed, “I always thought kissing was… unappealing, but,” I took her hand out of her hair and held it, “I’m here to try out new things, and I’ve already stepped far outside my comfort zone, so what’s one little kiss?”
She looked up at me,smiled and placed one of her hands on my head, “Okay.”
My breathing picked up as her hand contacted my head. Though, I kept myself under control as I stared into her eyes and held her other hand, my second arm not quite sure where to go so I placed it on the bench.
I leaned forward a little, and she did likewise.
My eyes drifted to her lips, and all my asexual and ASD mind could think was, germs, bacteria, saliva, chemicals in her lip gloss, grossness, do not—
Do. I told myself
Seeing as how putting it off wasn’t going to do any good, I broke our distance and connected my lips with hers.
*****
How would I describe it? Well, it was… I want to say good, but I felt myself sickened as I tasted her lip gloss.
Shamefully, I backed away to gag.
“Oh god,” she said.
“No… no!” I panted. “I…” I kept a tight hold on her hand while I recomposed her. “I’m… I’m sorry. I guess I just don’t like the taste of lipstick and—”
She pulled her hand away from me. “Oh, if that’s all!” She then dug around into her purse until she found a pack of cleaning towels. She then began to wipe away at her lips until the swab transformed into a wad of bright pink.
She then took a deep breath and turned to face me. “Is it… could we maybe try again?”
With a nervous stare, she held out a wipe to me. I took it and began to wipe the gloss off my lips.
“Um, thanks.” I took a moment to breath. “Though, you’d really want to? Wouldn’t most girls—”
She gripped my hand. “I’m not most girls, and I’m willing to do whatever you want,” her fingers started to tremble, “if you’ll still let me.”
I smiled. “Thanks I…” I paused as I returned her gaze.
While I had just acted rather immature, she still wanted to be here with me. Her, this girl who I had just spent a couple of hours with getting to know and bond with. As I began to lean in again, gone was the face of the person who had made mine and Sweetie Belle’s life a hell. Instead, looking into those eyes, was someone who I wanted to be next to, who I might even want to kiss (so long as she didn’t have any lip gloss on). This time though, this time I didn’t rush it. We found ourselves lost in each other’s eyes, as our heads and bodies began to inch closer.
She put one of her arms on my neck, I followed suit, she wrapped her arm around my back, I held onto her waist with my own. I kept my eyes locked onto hers, fearful of what I’d do if I looked at her lips. Eventually, when we both seemed ready, and when we felt as if there was no reason not to, we kissed. And when my lips met hers, without any lipgloss on her mouth, I was able to feel just her. There wasn’t anything fake, just a girl whom I had grown closer to than any other person I had known. Instead of a quick little kiss, I found my eyes closing as I melted into her embrace. We pulled our bodies closer to one another and continued into our first, real, kiss.
It might have lasted a while longer, if Silver Spoon’s tongue hadn’t began to work its way out of her mouth and into mine.
My eyes shot open and quickly pulled back.
Silver Spoon blushed and looked down. “Sorry.”
I smiled and freed my hand that had supported her head to lift up her chin. “Hey, small steps, though, aside from the start and end, I really liked the middle.”
She giggled and looked back at me. “Yeah, I did too.”
We then kissed again, only this time for a short while till she pulled away. “So, um, Button, how late is it?”
I shrugged. “Not sure.” I began to reach for my phone when I stopped. “Maybe, we can just sit here for a bit. And… While I didn’t mind the kissing, could we just…” I felt my cheeks heat up, “Cuddle? Sorry if it sounds weird, but, it is the only form of affection I ever got comfortable with when trying to think about romance.”
She rolled her eyes, then leaned into my chest. “Sure.”
With the sound of her coo, I rested myself onto her as my arms wrapped around her. Mind content, we sat there with each other doing nothing for half an hour on that bench.
*****
Before I could think about it, my phone rang with a text message from my mom, along with the time being well past 10 o’clock.
We sat ourselves up, Silver Spoon getting one last kiss in with me, and walked to the car with our fingers interlocked.
Once in the car, though, we found ourselves with nothing to say, and with nothing more than the radio and the night to break any silence. We didn’t hold hands—for obvious reasons while driving—but we also didn’t find any desire to do anything other than sit there whenever we came to a red light.
Eventually, we made it back to my house, where Silver Spoon turned down the radio.
“So…” I began, looking forward in the car. “That was fun.”
I caught her head nodding out of the corner of my eye. “Yeah." She turned to look at me and I did so too.
“Um,” I said as I scratched my neck, “so, what now? Does this mean, we’re a couple or something? I mean, what are we supposed to do?”
She let out a sigh. “Guess I'm not the only one who’s worried about tomorrow?”
“God, grr!” I sighed and rubbed my head. “It’s going to be a big day for both then, isn't it?” I placed my hand on hers.
She rubbed her nose. “Yeah, I have to tell Dia why we never showed up at the mall, and…” she rested her chin on the steering wheel. “Sorry, I’m sounding selfish, aren’t I?”
I leaned into my seat. “Not any worse than I’ve been tonight.” I smiled at her. "Listen, Silver, I think... I think I really like you.” I rubbed my head. “And, while I don’t like it, if you, um, want this all to end here, I’d understand. I mean, you got a reputation, I’m asexual and not that romantic—”
She put a finger on my lip. “Now look here, I don’t give a damn about that.”
My eyes widened.
“You’re more of a romantic than any other guy at school.” She moved her finger away. “Maybe you’re not perfect, but you know how to treat a lady right.” She crossed her arms, after taking a moment to adjust her glasses. Although, her smile never faltered. “If anything, I should be begging you to give me another chance.” She slumped. “Although…”
“Yeah,” I nodded. “Still… if you sort things out, maybe after our next date they won’t care anymore or—
“Next date?”
I blushed. “I mean… Well… I,”
She giggled. “Well, are you asking me out on another date?”
Was I? Was she really hinting at that she wanted to?
“I… Okay,” I said, “how about, after we sort things out with our friends, we can go on another date, say, this weekend or something?”
My body gave a jolt as I felt her hand slip into mine. “Sounds lovely.”
“Yeah,” I smiled back at her.
My eyes twitched to the house, where I saw my mom ducking behind a curtain as I looked her way. “Um, either way,” I unlocked my seat belt and made my way out, “I should get going.”
She frowned as I pulled away, but I surprised her when I tapped on the driver side window. “Though, will I at least see you tomorrow?”
She rolled down the window. “Sure. Can’t promise I’ll be waiting for you first thing in the morning, if only because of things, but, here,” she jostled around her compartment and pulled out a piece of paper, “send me a message when you can?”
I looked at the card, not a hastily written piece of scrap paper, but a pretty professional looking business card with her number on it.
“What?” she said as I looked at her funny, “I like to be professional.”
I smiled and shook my head. “Well, don’t change anything about this real you, okay?”
She beamed. “We’ll see.”
I began to walk away, only to double-time it back to the car. “Oh, almost forgot.”
“Wh—mufh!” she sounded as my lips connected with hers.
I made it quick, but with a clear enough message. “Have a good night.” I then headed inside, glancing back at the bright red Silver Spoon who stayed in my driveway till I made it to the door where Charlie was already barking.
She then pulled away, but not without one, last, loving smile and wave.
*****
“Charlie, stop it!” my mom ordered as I made it inside, already bouncing as she got into my face. “So, how’d it go?”
I groaned, “Mom!” and pushed past her and beeline to my room. Though, I dropped my act when I looked back at her and said, “I think it went well. Maybe I’ll have a girlfriend after all.”
I couldn’t get out of telling her, in detail, how it went. While she wasn’t pleased at some of the things I did, or having gone to the park without her knowing, she allowed it to slide as long as I did better next time.
“There will be a next time, right?” mom inquired.
I blushed. “I… I think so. Well, I know I want it to be so.”
She pulled me into a hug. “I’m so proud of you, Button.”
I sighed and hugged her back. “Yeah, thanks mom.”
She pulled away, and said, “Now off to bed. I’m sure you’re going to have quite a day tomorrow.” She smirked at me. “I was young once too, you know.”
Replying with a yawn, I said goodnight and made it to my room, taking extra time to ponder about what had happened while Charlie kept up.
“Come on,” I patted my bed.
Charlie gave a little, *hump, and was only able to get his top half on.
I smiled as I got the rest of him up. “Boy, do we need to get you to lose some pounds.”
He gave me a lick to the face before he settled on his side of the bed.
However, before I dozed off, I remembered Sweetie Belle and my friends.
I clicked on my light, turned on my phone, and sent a message to Sweetie Belle.
Her response a moment later was: ‘Button, what happened? You never showed up and we didn't get any texts from you. Did she hurt you, what did they do? How are you?’
I looked at my messages, and found my message to Rumble was never sent. Which explained a lot, but it wouldn’t cover why I never sent them another text later on.
I bit my lip, and typed; ‘Well, first, sorry, we went to the bowling alley, the message I wrote for you didn’t send. And, about my date with Silver Spoon…’