//------------------------------//
// Diary Entry Three - Sleepless 
// Story: The Diary of Matt 
// by Ribe_FireRain 
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Dear Diary,

I can't sleep. I just can't.

I still found myself close by the side of Apple Bloom who was still unconscious in bed and the night had long grown into the late hours, leaving only a few more hours to go until sunrise. 

No matter how heavy and tired my eyes felt, I couldn't seem to fall asleep. Across from me on the other side of Apple Bloom was Winona and she had fallen asleep a while back, curled up beside her sleeping co-owner that she shared a strong bond with.

You know, I don't even have a clue why I'm even bothering with this diary. I know I promised Applejack that I'd put it to good use to trace my thoughts and record them to keep me from beating myself up, but I honestly think it is doing me more emotional harm than intended. 

This was my fault and no matter how hard I tried to block out the memory of what drove us into all of this, it's of no use. What kind of friend am I? Not just to Apple Bloom, but to her family? Especially after all they've done to keep my happy and making sure I was well cared for after allowing me in their home?

A fucking terrible friend, that's what. I mean, what kind of friend lies to another friend and breaks a promise that also breaks their heart in the process? 

Looking out of the window now, I could see that red, piece of expensive metal and fancy electronic components that was my Ford Mustang that was now battered and scratched in multiple places, including huge dents in the bonnet from when I plowed myself into that tree back on Earth because I was too reckless to even care about what I was doing.

It was like it was mocking me, tormenting me with the joyous rushes of adrenaline that it promised as it still stood located in the orchard amongst all the trees that stood proudly around it.

It was too much for me to bear looking at and it felt like it was slowly driving my mind insane. 

I only found comfort from my troubles when I was with Apple Bloom and in some ways, it made me feel a little confused as to why I felt that way, but in other ways, it made my heart feel warmer inside, despite the ache that never seemed to leave it.

I would spend most of the night watching her and Winona sleep, gently stroking her mane to remind me that I was here for her, not to drown myself in my own sorrow.

That same night, I gave her my first kiss to her cheek. I couldn't tell if she could feel it in her current condition, but it did cause her emotionless lips to curl up into a small smile. 

Then a small thought came into my head. Applejack works on the orchard and collects apples to sell or turn into cider, doesn't she? I think I recalled seeing her bring some barrels of the stuff downstairs to the apple cellar on the outside of the barn.

Maybe a mug or two would help me fall into sleep?