Parkour Pie
Rainbow Dash carried a crash test dummy over to an empty stand and loosely attached the dummy to it so that it would stand upright. With that last one in place, she smiled as she glanced around at the dozens of other dummies she had already set up. Now that everything was finally all set, she was more than eager to get started.
Rainbow walked over to a simple brown staff on the concrete floor and picked it up. She smirked as she twirled it around a few times before suddenly jumping into a combative pose, tightly gripping the staff with both hands. She narrowed her eyes as she slowly moved her gaze across all the dummies that stood before her. The only noise to be heard was a faint whistling of wind through a few gaps in the surrounding walls of the abandoned warehouse.
Finally, Rainbow leaped into action. She yelled out as she rushed towards the nearest dummy and swung her staff sideways at it, swiftly smashing it to pieces. She then swung her staff sideways in the other direction, smashing another dummy, then smashed another one by swinging her staff down on its head. She repeated these moves with a few more dummies, then jabbed a few more with either end of her staff. She also used the staff as a pole-vault to lift her feet off the floor and swiftly kick another dummy. She repeated all of these moves almost flawlessly, and had managed to take out most of the dummies before even a full minute had elapsed.
“Hi, Dash!”
Rainbow yelped as she suddenly noticed the next “dummy” she was about to smack turned out to be a smiling Pinkie Pie. She barely managed to stop the staff just one inch in front of Pinkie’s face, who didn’t even flinch. She then lowered the staff as she raised an eyebrow and asked, “Pinkie? What are you doing here?”
Pinkie Pie, as usual, spoke rapidly as she replied, “I saw you moving a whole bunch of stuff into this empty warehouse and I was curious what all that stuff was for, so I decided to sneak inside and see what you were up to and when I saw you setting all this stuff up I thought that it all looked like it would be so much fun to try it all out, so I decided to just walk right in and ask if I could join you with whatever fun games you have in here!”
Rainbow Dash stared at her grinning friend for a brief moment, then glanced back at the series of obstacles she had set up throughout the old warehouse. She turned back to Pinkie and explained, “This isn’t for fun, Pinkie. This is a hardcore serious training ground, intended to improve my already awesome abilities.” She began to expertly twirl her staff around as she continued, “Since we’re on the LEGO Team, that means we could be called away on missions at any time — y’know, the kind where we beat the bad guys and save the world again. So it’s really important that I always stay at my peak performance.”
Rainbow then suddenly lost her grip on the twirling staff, causing her to drop it. She and Pinkie glanced down at it on the floor, then back up to each other. “Uh… I meant to do that,” Rainbow quickly said with a fake grin as she picked up the staff.
“Can I still join you, anyway?” asked Pinkie Pie eagerly.
Rainbow briefly glanced away before she turned back to Pinkie and replied, “Well, since we’re both on the same team, I don’t see why not.”
“Yay!” cheered the pink party girl with an excited jump.
“But don’t think this is gonna be easy,” warned Rainbow with a serious expression. “These obstacles are meant to push ya to the limits. I wouldn’t even be surprised if you end up falling to pieces at some point.”
“So what’s first?” asked Pinkie Pie, enthusiastic as ever.
“Let’s see…” Rainbow turned towards the rest of the obstacles and took a moment to consider which one to begin today’s training with. Eventually, she smiled as she made her choice.
“Let’s start with this one,” said Rainbow as she walked over to a wall with three long poles sticking horizontally out of it. The pole on the right was just barely within arm’s reach, the one in the middle was higher up, and the one on the left was even further higher up. And not far from that final pole, there was a platform about a dozen bricks above the floor.
“The Spinning Poles,” explained Rainbow as she casually tossed aside her staff. “All you have to do is get up onto that platform up there by doing this.” She quickly ran up to the first pole and jumped up. She grabbed onto the pole and began to spin around it, shifting her body around to build up more momentum. She made only two revolutions before she let go, did a single backflip in midair, and grabbed onto the second pole. Again, she spun around the pole twice before repeating the move onto the third and final pole. Finally, after just one revolution, she let go, did yet another midair backflip, and landed on her feet atop the platform. She stumbled around for a second, but otherwise managed to stay on the platform.
Rainbow smirked as she turned back to Pinkie and confidently stated, “Your turn!”
“Okie-dokie-lokie,” responded Pinkie cheerfully before she ran over to the first pole and leaped up onto it. She spun around that pole only once before she let go, backflipped in midair, and grasped the second pole. On the second pole, she didn’t even make half a revolution before she let go, did a backflip, and grasped the third pole. Her takeoff from the third pole was just as swift as on the second, and unlike Rainbow Dash, she managed to perfectly stick the landing onto the platform. “Ta-da!” cheered Pinkie with a singsong voice.
Rainbow stared blankly at Pinkie, blinking only once. On the inside, she was astonished to see her friend top her effort right on the first try. But since this was her obstacle course, she wasn’t going to show that on the outside. Instead, she grinned smugly as she slyly commented, “Not bad, for a beginner.” As she turned away and slid down a pole back to the floor, she boastfully added, “Now let’s kick things up a notch!”
Pinkie followed Rainbow down the sliding pole, then watched as the blue athlete grabbed a ladder and set it up under the second pole on the wall.
“In a real world scenario,” explained Rainbow as she climbed the ladder, “things aren’t always gonna be this perfect. Sometimes, you’ll find yourself with a missing piece.” She yanked the pole out of its socket, slid down the ladder, and then set down the ladder. “In this case, you’ll first need to fill in the gap. Like this!” She then threw the pole up at the socket… but barely missed and just made it bounce off the wall.
Unfazed, Rainbow picked up the pole and repeated, “Like this!” She threw the pole again, but barely missed the socket again and got a similar result. She repeated these actions again… and again… and again.
Rainbow was starting to lose count by the time she huffed in frustration and shouted, “Like THIS!!” She threw the pole again, and this time, she actually made it stick into the socket.
“Yes!” exclaimed Rainbow Dash in both excitement and relief. She then ran over to the first pole as she stated, “And now I just need to swing across.” As with the first run, she jumped up onto the first pole, spun around it twice, then let go, did a backflip, and grasped the second pole. However, as soon as her momentum transferred to the second pole, it popped right out of its socket, causing her to drop down and hit the concrete floor flat on her back.
Pinkie Pie casually walked up to her fallen friend and innocently asked, “Is it my turn?”
Rainbow glanced up at Pinkie, who still had a silly grin on her face. With an exasperated sigh, she tossed the pole to her and grumbled, “Knock yourself out.” She then slowly stood up and walked away from the wall.
Once Rainbow Dash was out of the way, Pinkie Pie raised the pole in her hand, took a moment to aim it at the socket, then threw the pole. Right on the first try, she managed to perfectly stick the pole into the socket. Without any hesitation, she then ran over to the first pole, grabbed onto it, and spun around it once before letting go and grabbing onto the second pole. Unlike with Rainbow’s attempt, the second pole stayed firmly in place as Pinkie swung forward onto the third pole and then up onto the platform. Pinkie turned to Rainbow, raised her arms, and cheerfully sang, “Nailed it!”
Rainbow couldn’t help but furrow her brow as she stared up at Pinkie. The super athletic Rainbow Dash had always struggled with this particular obstacle, but party girl Pinkie Pie had somehow mastered it right on the first try! As much as that infuriated her, Rainbow knew she wouldn’t gain anything from lashing out at her friend and teammate, so she just mumbled, “Not bad.”
As Pinkie slid down the pole back to the floor, Rainbow glanced around at all the other obstacles she had set up inside the warehouse. With a smirk, she turned back to Pinkie and confidently stated, “But we’re just getting started.”
“Next up: The Rock Climb!” announced Rainbow Dash and she and Pinkie Pie stood at the base of a wall with various handholds all over it.
Rainbow immediately jumped onto the wall and began to scale upwards. She made it up a few steps with no trouble at all. She slipped on one foothold, but quickly managed to stabilize herself.
“Wheeee!” exclaimed Pinkie Pie cheerfully as she scaled the Rock Climb so quickly that her arms were literally spinning around like propellers.
Rainbow could only stay still and stare upwards with her jaw gaping as she saw Pinkie reach the top of the wall in only a matter of seconds.
“I win!” shouted Pinkie triumphantly.
Rainbow finally closed her mouth, frowning as she furrowed her brow again.
“The Double-Wall Ninja Jump!”
Rainbow Dash stood between two walls that were only six studs apart. Without any hesitation, she jumped up onto one of the walls, grasping the flat surface with both arms and both legs. She then swiftly jumped off it and onto the opposite wall, then immediately repeated the process back and forth. It took her about half a dozen of these wall to wall leaps before she reached the platform at the top. The final leap only brought her high enough for her torso to land on the platform, so it took her a few extra seconds to swing her legs up and over the edge.
Once Rainbow stood up and glanced down, her jaw dropped again as she couldn’t believe what she was seeing. Pinkie Pie was bouncing back and forth between the walls with just one foot, left leg off the left wall and right leg off the right wall. Within the timespan of a single breath, Pinkie had made it all the way to the platform atop the double walls.
Rainbow furrowed her brow and frowned again. This time, she also clenched her fists very tightly.
“Grapple Gun!”
Rainbow Dash aimed her grapple gun forward and upwards at one of the roof struts on the ceiling. She fired the grappling hook, which soared up at an angle and looped around the strut once before hooking onto it. With the hook secured, she leaped off the elevated platform, swung across the wide empty space, and safely reached the other platform on the other side. Now that she was across, she flicked her grapple gun to loosen the hook from the strut. Once the hook began to fall away, she quickly retracted it back into the gun. Rainbow Dash smirked at easily completing another obstacle.
Pinkie Pie simply turned away, stuck her grappling hook onto the platform, and fired her grapple gun. She immediately shot off the platform and was sent soaring across the gap until she landed right next to Rainbow on the other platform. With a flick of the grapple gun, she loosened the hook and retracted it.
Rainbow Dash repeated her furious expression, with the addition of a light growl.
“Precarious Ledges and Balance Beams!”
High above the floor, Rainbow Dash carefully stepped onto a ledge that was only one stud wide. She pressed her back against the wall and slowly shimmied her way along the ledge. After about a dozen steps, she reached the balance beam, which was also only one stud wide. Rainbow kept her breathing slow and steady as she carefully stepped onto the beam, slowly placing one square foot in front of the other. The narrow beam creaked lightly as she moved across, but she maintained her balance and soon made it safely across onto the platform. There was no denying that making such a risky crossing took a lot of guts, so she made no attempt to hide her sigh of relief.
“La la-la la-la la-la!” sang Pinkie Pie cheerfully.
Rainbow glanced back and her jaw dropped yet again as she was shocked to see that Pinkie was merrily hopping along the incredibly narrow ledge. She even had her eyes closed!
Pinkie opened her eyes only once just to confirm that she had reached the balance beam. She then began skipping along the beam as she continued her cheerful tune. Despite the beam visibly flexing with each bounce, it wasn’t long until Pinkie reached the platform. Safely across, Pinkie finally opened her eyes and simply smiled at Rainbow.
Rainbow Dash repeated her furious expression, except with a louder growl.
“Power Drilling!”
Rainbow Dash picked up a jackhammer, pointed it onto a concrete wall, and immediately started hammering away. After a few seconds of relentless pounding and shaking, she began to break through the wall, and it took her a full minute to drill out a big enough hole. She quickly dropped the jackhammer and squeezed her body through the hole in the wall. She struggled a little bit, but successfully managed to climb through to the other side. Rainbow couldn’t resist laughing at this accomplishment.
Further jackhammer noises suddenly brought Rainbow’s attention towards another part of the concrete wall. With remarkable speed, the outline of a standing minifig was drilled through the concrete, and once the outline was complete, the slab of concrete within the outline simple fell over. Pinkie Pie casually stepped right through the perfectly shaped hole, then simply smiled and waved at Rainbow.
Rainbow Dash repeated her furious expression, but now with enough intensity to bare her clenched teeth.
“Okay, last obstacle!” declared Rainbow Dash, no longer able to hide her frustration. “This is the most challenging one of all, so don’t expect this to be a cake walk!”
“Well, what is it?” asked Pinkie Pie eagerly, seemingly unaware of Rainbow’s sour expression.
Rainbow Dash smirked. She knew this last obstacle would finally break Pinkie, because it required techniques so advanced that she knew of only one person in the entire Lego World who could successfully pull it off — and that person was currently not inside this warehouse. She proudly gestured at a structure that had a series of plate pieces placed vertically along a wall, and even some that were upside down at the top of that wall. “SNOT Walking!”
“Oh! Oh! I can do this!” exclaimed Pinkie Pie happily. She then casually walked toward the wall, walked right up it, and then up onto that ceiling. Once she reached the middle of that ceiling of studs, she glanced down at Rainbow as she smiled and waved.
Once again, Rainbow Dash repeated her furious expression, with the addition of gritting her teeth. Now this was going too far! She decided that enough was enough! “Oh yeah?!” she shouted furiously. “Well I can do that in half the time! Just watch!”
Rainbow stared firmly at the wall of studs, took a deep breath, and sprinted towards it. She immediately rushed right up the wall, but just halfway up to the ceiling, she yelped out in shock as she suddenly felt her legs flailing around helplessly in the air. Without any grip on the wall, she was left at the mercy of gravity. She screamed and flailed her arms and legs around as she fell all the way down to the floor, smashing to pieces upon impact.
Once her head finally rolled to a stop, Rainbow Dash looked around at all of her pieces scattered across the floor and sighed. Forced to swallow her pride, she glanced up at Pinkie — who was still standing on the ceiling of studs, albeit now with a concerned expression for the first time today — and reluctantly asked, “Hey, uh… could you help be pull myself together?”
“Absolutely!” replied Pinkie Pie, a smile quickly returning to her face. She walked along the ceiling and back down onto the wall.
As she watched only the second person she knew of to successfully pull off SNOT walking, Rainbow couldn’t help but ask, “How did you do that so easily?”
As Pinkie finally got down on the floor again and began picking up the pieces of Rainbow Dash, she replied, “Duh! It’s called SNOT walking. Not SNOT running.”
Rainbow Dash’s only response to that was a long groan.