Part XXIV. Retaliation
[One Month Later…]
It had only taken about a week for things to start dying down, and soon enough, Fredrick, Luna, and everypony else fell into a general sense of monotony as things returned to the ‘status quo.’ Life carried on as normal for everypony, the only thing having changed being some measures of the dynamic between Fredrick and Luna since they were an official couple. No longer needing to hide any of their displays of affection any longer, it was not uncommon to find the odd pair holding hands, sharing a chaste kiss, or even, as one maid stumbled upon, making out in a secluded corridor.
That only happened once, and if the two needed to ever sneak off for a little bit of mouth-sucking action, they did well to make sure they were more discreet in their choice of spot.
Of course, after that fateful day, a myriad of articles were written about the “Princess and her Human Coltfriend.” From what the two were able to see, none seemed overly disparaging, although to those that held snide attitudes within, Luna nor Fredrick really cared all that much. If anything, it provided hilarious reading material for the two while lying in bed or on break time during work hours.
On the subject of work, Fredrick continued to happily work alongside Celestia, though Luna would occasionally ask him for his help. Further, Fred was happy to admit that he had been learning so much with his position on Luna’s Economic Council. Once he got into the swing of things, Luna and the other members gladly helped (and continued to help) him hone his intermediate skills, seeing that he indeed had potential. Luna also insisted that he be paid extra for holding such a position, and Fred quickly acquiesced, realizing he had little choice in that matter.
Fred’s friendship with Stella trotted along in earnest, and it seemed to considerably strengthen in the short month. By experience, if Fred was not to be found with either Luna or Celestia, he was nearly guaranteed to be found with the thestral guard. Further, in the last week, Fred hung a picture in his room of the two of them with Stella, uncharacteristically, having her arms wrapped sweetly around Fred’s neck and leaning her head into his, though sporting her usual, cocky smile and complexion. Even Luna commented that it was one of the best pictures of the human and the batpony.
Yes, all seemed well and good with everyone’s dynamic, and an atmosphere of calm returned to the castle. Fredrick, however, was still on edge when it came to the imminent retaliatory prank. Luna, as cunning as she was, decided to lure him into a false sense of security by encasing all of his belongings in his room in a small, invisible field of magic that delivered a nasty static shock when it was touched. Fredrick, naturally, was annoyed at this development, as literally EVERYTHING shocked him for the next day, but he felt that was the true retaliation after nothing else was forthcoming. Enlisting some help from Stella, Fred hit back mildly by replacing every single document and picture in Luna’s study with hardcore gay pornography.
He played right into their hands.
On a night like any other, Fredrick and Luna were laying in bed like normal, spending the evening together to commemorate the end of the work-week and usher in a pleasant weekend ahead. With a small fire going in Fred’s room’s built-in fireplace, the two comfortably drifted off to sleep whispering sweet little nothings to each other. Garbed in their usual pajamas, the two fell into the velvety grasp of slumber in each other’s embrace after exchanging the last kisses and ‘I love you’s’ of the night.
However, with Princess Luna, it was only a ruse. Taking only a light nap herself, when she stirred, she ensured Fred’s breathing was steady and his heartbeat was slow enough to signify that he was indeed asleep. Opening both her eyes, Luna donned a much more naughty smirk before her entire body became enveloped in a magical sheen. In an instant, her form coalesced into a magical ‘mist’ of sorts (Fred’s hand falling to the bed with nothing to support it on) and hurriedly snaked out the door, scurrying back to her room.
Fred had no idea how long he was asleep, but that was quickly answered by the clock in his room when his eyes tiredly fluttered open. It had been about an hour and a half, and the lack of warmth from where his marefriend was supposed to be lying beside and on him caused the man to stir in confusion.
“Huh?” he asked huskily, still in a semi-dreamy state and looking around for any sign of Luna. He could still smell her sweet, intoxicating scent on his shirt and skin, but with her gone, he suddenly felt for a split second as if he wasn’t ‘full’... like he was missing something. Also, the room felt much colder than when he had gone to sleep.
“Luna?” Fredrick called out, sitting up in his bed fully and scanning the room for his better half, blinking away the remnant sleep from his eyes. As if to answer his question, there was an ominous creaking sound, like a massive, old door was opening agonizingly slowly… and that’s because it was exactly that. Turning his attention to the entrance of his room, he found his door somewhat ajar, and a split second later, an unseen force shut it instantly.
Fred’s body jumped at the sudden action, and naturally, what had just transpired put him on some measure of edge. Still, he was suspicious, and cocking a single eyebrow, he swung his legs over the side of his bed and got to his feet. Fred looked over himself once, ensuring he was somewhat decent in his sleepwear, and cautiously approached his door. Turning the handle and angling his body so he could have a peek outside, he found…
Nothing…?
“Hmmm...” Fredrick voiced out loud when his mind exhausted the only question at the time. All seemed peaceful, and the other side of the stony corridor stared back at him with its cool, dark edifice. Venturing a closer look, he slipped into the entrance and peeked down both halls, again, finding nothing that struck him as odd, as there was nothing there.
Wait a minute…
That, in and of itself, was quite perplexing… because normally there was a small team of guards either stationed or patrolling; there was nopony at all.
“Hello…?” Fred called out, but, as he expected, he received no answer. The oddity of the situation was overshadowed by Fred’s original goal: find out where Luna went. It was not uncommon for her to go back to her room after staying the night, but she always woke him up with a little kiss to let him know, or something similar when they were not dating. The fact that this did not happen struck a concerned chord with Fredrick, and with his protective edge coming out on behalf of his girlfriend, he felt obliged to see if she was okay.
The easiest choice to start looking would be, of course, her room.
With the destination in mind, Fredrick spared a precursory glance before entering the corridor in full, closing his door behind him and marching with intent to Luna’s chambers. A stoic demeanor radiated from his very being… but that confidence soon waned when he rounded the first corner, and found those guards whose absence he was so questioning.
They were slumped against the wall in various fashions.
“W-What the hell…?!” Fredrick exclaimed breathily to no one in particular, his eyes darting around as if he was expecting the same fate to befall him at any moment. Alas, the corridor was barren and there appeared to be no sign of a struggle. Every instinct in him screamed to turn back and barricade himself in his room, or better yet, go find Celestia… or Stella… or somepony! Fred was keen on doing exactly that, but again, as if by divine intervention, something stopped him.
“Freeeeeedriiiiiiick…” a feminine, ethereal sounding voice permeated the noiseless atmosphere, echoing from every surface yet nowhere at the same time. Hairs standing on edge, Fredrick hunkered down, staying low and attempting to find the source of his name… a voice that sounded so familiar, but, through retrieval failure, he could not place where he knew it from.
“Freeeedriiick…” the same voice called out, and this time, Fred’s pupils constricted as he locked onto an anthropomorphic figure right down the hall, barely visible through the natural moonlight shining into the corridor. Focusing, the figure appeared to reveal herself for a split second… but then sauntered down the hall and disappeared amongst the shadows. Even so, that brief viewing was all Fredrick needed to know exactly who it was.
“Lumina…?” he asked, but then quickly realized that Lumina was, indeed, Luna. “Luna!” he yelled, but no response nor reaction was garnered. Only the shadows greeted his words with nothing in return. Regardless, that spurred him on, and he began his cautious trek down the corridor anew. Due to his walking speed, Fredrick was able to spy scruitible notes that were hung from the necks of the downed guards, guards that he did not know if they were dead or not, nor did he have the courage to check that fact.
“I served a false Princess.” the note on the first guard’s body read, which, for some reason, awoke a nameless fear in Fredrick’s heart. He had no idea what said feeling meant as he passed the body, but his emotions were torn on whether or not he truly wanted to find out.
“I prostituted my life to the Solar Traitor.” were the words written on the second note hung on the second guard’s body. The declaration certainly did not allay any of Fredrick’s fears, but yet, he pressed onward. Whatever happened here, in his mind, could have happened to Luna. He had to know that she was safe!
Fredrick’s dread suddenly morphed into a feeling of utter bemusement when the third guard’s note became legible:
“Magical fuel cannot melt castle arches.”
“Wait… what the fuck?” Fred questioned, actually stopping in his tracks to read that over again, cocking his head to the left as he processed the out-of-place statement. Before he could even take this to heart, he heard his name called yet again, which made him forget entirely what he had just witnessed. The voice, as mystical-sounding as it was before, seemed farther away this time, and it beckoned Fredrick forward.
“Luna! Ugh, dammit!” he cursed, running as fast as his bare feet could carry him. The night air was crisp and it helped to fuel his senses as he neared his destination. The entire time, his name was being called at random intervals, as if Luna wanted him to follow her. Fredrick knew that this entire ‘thing’ seemed suspicious, but his ultimate concern for Luna’s well-being drew him to her chamber doors regardless of the potential risk.
“Luna?!” Fredrick called through the familiar ebony-wood doors, rapping on them cacophonously with his fists. There was no response from inside, and that was not good, because Fredrick knew that Luna would keep her door locked if she was not expecting him or anypony else. He knew he would not be able to break down the doors, and the bodies of the guards curiously lacked their weaponry. Thus, there was only one thing he could try.
Fred reached for the doorknob and, with a face of determination and pleading, his exertion met little resistance. The door was unlocked, evident by the unlatching of the bolt and one of the doors swivelling inward.
“Luna…?” the human hailed his girlfriend with trepidation, peeking inside the normally-dim room and finding nothing out of the ordinary. Glancing behind him, and seeing that he was not being followed or watched, Fredrick entered Luna’s chambers completely and closed the door behind him. Other than the temperature being colder than what would be considered normal (for him, at least), everything was where it should have been…
...everything except for Luna herself.
Fredrick stepped towards the center of the massive bedchambers and was suddenly awash with an electric, fearful sense that shot up his spine. If he was not being watched, he felt with absolute certainty that he was now. With every single hair on his body seeming to erect at an instant, Fredrick bared his teeth and darted his head around, attempting to see where the intruder was. Something did not belong in this room at all and glancing over his shoulder at the bed itself, the lack of light did not let him make out any form. The curtains were drawn over the window pane to the balcony, so only a sliver of moonlight showed through… not enough to aid Fredrick in his endeavors to ascertain exactly what was going on.
“Who’s there?!” Fredrick demanded to know, though his command, laced with obvious anxiety, only echoed off the walls with an artificially amplified effect, creating an even more ominous sense of foreboding. His words were not replied to, and after a few moments of tense listening of his environment, Fredrick uneasily turned back towards the bed.
He was not able to take even a tentative step, as his ears picked up subtle movement from behind him… movement which quickly became more prominent and gradually melted into what Fredrick could easily recognize as hoof-falls… but much heavier steps than what he was used to, accompanied by the telltale clanging of armor pieces grinding against themselves. The muscles in his back seemed to painfully tense as the feeling of a presence behind him was overwhelming, only getting worse as the stepping was unmistakeable. Finally, he mustered the courage to turn around.
Fred’s eyes widened in true fear, at least at first, when he spotted a pair of teal-blue, glowing eyes (distinctly cat-like) through the shadowy veil. The armored steps continued and the owner of those piercing eyes stepped into the sliver of moonlight, revealing a literal nightmare out of history that Fredrick only heard stories of. Suited up in shiny, silver armor plates that covered her entire form… though oddly form-fitting and risque to be practical… Nightmare Moon revealed her form to Fredrick in entirety, her stature being taller and more muscular than that of Princess Luna herself. The aforementioned armor scheme was seemingly more apt for seduction and intimidation rather than practicality, considering cleavage was on display and her black-coated, bare arms had no plating on them whatsoever. The armor was so fitted that the abdominal plates moved with each breath she took, giving the illusion that it was a part of her.
Magically, the darkened lights brightened just a little bit.
“So… the human finally graces my presence…” Nightmare mused out loud in her authoritative tone, looking down upon the human and scanning his body. “I must admit, I’m a little disappointed.”
Fredrick, however, started connecting dots that he was seeing, and his posture gradually became more relaxed until he was standing up straight and staring at Nightmare Moon curiously… then, he began eyeing her form up and down, as if he was admiring her physical appearance.
Then, a small giggle quickly turned into full-blown laughter; gut-holding, ab-destroying guffaw.
“Jesus Christ, Luna… all this just for a retaliatory prank?” Fredrick asked when he calmed down enough to be coherent. “God, you scared the shit out of me! You didn’t actually maim or kill those guards out there, right?” he continued to question as if he was talking to his girlfriend. Nightmare Moon, however, remained unmoved, her expression having never changed since she revealed herself. In fact, she cocked her head, confused, if slightly vexed.
“‘Luna’ is a name I have not gone by in well over a thousand years. You would be wise never to refer to me as such,” she warned, beginning to pace around the human predatorily, sizing him up like a shark would its prey. “Hmmm… either incredibly brave or stupid to address me so informally. I can see why they would like you.”
“Alright, yeah you can cut the act now, Luna. You really pulled all the stops with this prank, huh?” Fredrick continued to field his questions, facing the Nightmare with an unafraid stance.
Again, her demeanor did not change at all.
“Prank? Hmhmhm… well, I’m delighted to be the bearer of bad news: this is no such prank.”
“...what?” Fredrick asked after blinking his eyes a few times, as if he could not fathom what he just heard; that was ridiculous, of course this was a prank!
“Oh you sweet summer child…” Nightmare Moon condescended, stepping closer to Fredrick (who was at least half a foot shorter than her) and cupping his cheek. Her hands were ice cold, and lacked any form of intimate warmth that he was used to with Luna, and that set off an incalculable number of warning bells in his mind. “If it is ‘Luna’ you seek, you will find that she is not among us, anymore… she is a non factor, as she should be. You may see for yourself…”
Nightmare Moon gestured to Luna’s bed, and Fredrick followed the movement. Only glancing back uneasily at Nightmare did she give him an urgent nod to go ahead and do as she suggested. Cocking an eyebrow at her over his shoulder, Fred continued on and reached the side of the bed, being able to spot what looked like Luna comfortably sleeping on her side away from him. The moment he saw that lump, Fredrick’s stomach seemed to do flips on itself, pleading with him not to go any further as something was terribly wrong. Gulping hard and not even bothering to glance behind him, Fredrick shakily reached out and touched Luna’s shoulder; ice cold. Pulling her body onto her back, his entire face paled in an instant, breaking out into cold sweats and hyperventilation when he laid eyes upon essentially a mummified carcass of his marefriend, in her usual sleepwear, eyes and mouth open and devoid of any life and warmth.
“No… No!!! Luna!!” Fredrick called out helplessly, only to be mocked by Nightmare Moon as she magically yanked him from the bed and placed him right in front of her.
“She was… noncompliant,” Nightmare expressed nonchalantly, flicking the back of her hand dismissively towards the cadaver. “After a somewhat vexing struggle, I had to put her down. So, there she lies, should you wish to say your final parting words. Though, I suppose that notion has passed, hmm?”
There was one thing Fredrick had been known for, and that was for being expressive. He had few problems with showing emotion, nor displaying his mood to the world. Thus, the sheer enormity of the tidal wave of emotion breaking within him was the onset of a massive panic attack. The past few moments wiped the very notion of a prank from his mind; this was the real deal… and the unmitigated fear, sadness, and anger amalgamated into such a powerful sentiment, that Fredrick did something he never did during his entire stay in Equestria.
“You… fucking… CUNT!” Fredrick exploded in pure, unadulterated rage and in a tone that threatened to unleash hellfire. Attempting to lunge (damn-near suicidally) at the Queen of Darkness, he was stayed by a magical field which enveloped his torso, forcing his arms to his sides. “Fuck you! FUUUCK YOUU!”
Elsewhere, a pleasurable shiver ran up a certain somepony’s spine at the beautiful, fury-induced utterance of those special words.
“So he does have fight within him… quite the lot, actually…” Nightmare purred, pacing around the bound human as he struggled with all his might against his restraints. She sickeningly, seductively, slurped her tongue and licked her lips lasciviously. “Perhaps you indeed are worthy of being by my side, just as you were by Luna’s…”
“Aghhh! You’d have to kill me, first!” Fredrick spat out viciously as he never ceased his struggle, meaning every single word that he said.
“Verily?” Nightmare asked rhetorically, closing the distance between them and sashaying her hips quite exaggeratedly, pressing her armored chest into Fredrick’s as she looked down upon him with a lidded gaze. Only by the sudden contact was Fred forced to glance downward into Nightmare’s deep valley between her plated breasts, and that earned an evil giggle out of the corrupted alicorn. “You stallions are all the same… you just need some convincing.”
Fredrick said nothing… what was there to say? He only locked his gaze firmly onto hers, his eyes very nearly having the power to kill by the intensity of his abhorrent stare. He followed her movements squarely, which took his vision towards the bathroom as Nightmare sauntered over.
“There are many… benefits to life under my rule, especially to the royal consort, which would be your title, of course,” she called over her shoulder. With a flick of her fingers, her magic was cast elsewhere, but before Fred was released from his hold completely, his hands seemed to be bound at the wrist by an invisible force, same with his feet. Steadying himself, Fred never lost visual of Nightmare, who disappeared into the bathroom and quickly returned, hoisting another familiar individual in her grasp.
“On your knees, sister,” Nightmare seethed, tossing a haggard-looking Celestia to the ground. Her eyes looked bloodshot from crying, her mane was an absolute mess in its natural pink color, and she appeared to be wearing a torn bedsheet of sorts, barely making her descent with her body figure. She grunted in pain as her knees slammed into the floor, barely having time to catch herself. With that position, Fred could clearly see how her hands and ankles were bound, and she had an anti-magic ring placed firmly at the base of her horn, depriving her of her only hope of effective resistance.
“Celestia…” Fredrick cursed under his breath, horrified. She, too, had befallen the same fate as him, though it appeared much worse, if the marks on her face and body were anything to go by.
“I-I’m sorry, Fredrick!” Celestia called out hopelessly, tears unbidden. “I tried to stop her—UNF!”
“Silence!” Nightmare ordered aggressively, pushing her hoof harshly against Celestia’s back and forcing her to lurch forward, nearly face-planting on the ground. The twisted alicorn then turned back to Fredrick, gesturing towards the captured solar alicorn. “It has been a dream of many stallions all over Equestria to lie with Celestia in bed… to use her as you would. Who would not, after all?” Nightmare pointed out, looking down at her former prey.
“Gorgeous lips… large breasts and posterior… and a slim torso. Sculpted from the creators, no?” she listed and rhetorically asked Fredrick his opinion. When none was forthcoming save for the same stare of unbridled hatred, she took that as her cue to continue. “She would be at your disposal whenever you choose for any of your desires…” Nightmare tempted, lidding her gaze in any attempt to draw him in.
Fredrick did not even realize the tears falling freely from his eyes.
“Go to hell…”
“Hmmm… you are not convinced I see. Well, I shall make one more attempt before I take over the reins of government permanently.” She stepped next to the bathroom door and casually held her arms crossed behind her back, a stance which thrust her chest outward. Fredrick watched curiously, waiting with less than enthusiastic, yet bated breath at her next move.
Nightmare then angled her head towards the open bathroom door.
“You may enter, slave…” she commanded, and immediately, the sounds of metallic horseshoes clopping against the tile floor completely overtook any other sound in the room. After what seemed like an eternity of fearful anticipation, and despite thinking it was already impossible in the first place, his heart sank even lower when a familiar drawl graced his ears.
“Yes, Master…” the distinct rasp of adorable, feminine Scottish accent was accompanied by Stella herself entering into view… but what she was wearing was what made Fredrick’s jaw drop. In any other circumstance, he would have eaten it up, but with the given context, he felt like he was going to vomit.
The gorgeous batpony was garbed in an incredibly skimpy two-piece, onyx-black and barely covering anything on her. Her breasts looked almost painfully squished together, cleavage bloated while her bottoms covered only the essentials. Both pieces were linked together by tiny, silver chains which framed her toned stomach. Her mane was neatly groomed in its usual ponytail fashion, but her tail appeared to be curled more for aesthetic purposes.
Most notably though, her normally prominent eyes were obscured completely by a bright, magical veil; both of her eyes lit up bright-white and hid any of the natural color they held. Stella stepped into the center of everypony and faced Fredrick, striking a few passive poses, subtly accentuating every curve and muscle on her body.
“Not you too, Stella…” Fredrick weakly spoke, his head sinking forlornly at the sight of his last closest friend in a clearly brainwashed state. At this point, he sincerely felt that all was lost.
“Perhaps you would prefer somepony a bit more personable and informal? Your size, in effect?” Nightmare asked. “Go on, Stella… perhaps you may convince him to join us yet…”
“Of course, My Queen,” Stella replied in a sickeningly enthusiastic tone, commencing what Fredrick would describe as a exaggeratedly sexual dance. Swaying her hips and running her hands over her entire body as if for her own pleasure, she complemented her precise, captivating movements by curling her tail over and through her legs like a faux-streamer of sorts. Normally, this would be hypnotic for the watcher... Stella was actually fairly proficient in the art of dance, ergo, knew exactly how to get a rise out of anypony she deemed her target.
This wasn’t one of those times.
Biting her lip, she turned around and gave Fredrick a unobstructed view of her perfect rear, and though Fredrick was reeling inside from everything that happened, he could not tear his leaking eyes away from the spectacle. Sensing his eyes on her, Stella glanced at him over her shoulder and planted both her hands on her ass. She dug her fingers firmly into the flesh as she continued gyrating her hips for him, knowing full-well that if he continued to watch her, his eyes would be glued to her ass.
She twirled in place and ran her hands over her face and mane, throwing them over her head before ending her little motions by shoving an index finger into her mouth. A cute little snaggletooth stuck out below her lips as she loudly slurped her finger.
Then, much to Fredrick’s horror, she got to her knees and lewdly crawled over to him. With a bit of magical ‘encouragement,’ Nightmare forced Fredrick to sit against the side of the bed the moment Stella was upon him. She loomed over his form, her face exuding a hunger that Fredrick could not bear to look at. He curled almost in a fetal position, doing his best to get away from every bit of contact that she could bestow upon him.
“I’ll be your personal little slave, Fredrick… your wish is my command only if you join us…”
Stella leaned in and flicked the tip of Fred’s left ear with her tongue, the contact making him shudder violently. The human only opened his eyes and shot his gaze upward when he felt another shadow hovering over him. Nightmare, arms crossed, peered down upon him with a knowing smirk and laughing softly to herself.
In a slight moment of clarity among his mental distress, Fredrick realized he was not magically bound anymore.
“There is no use fighting it anymore, Fredrick… join me willingly; be by my side, and all of what you’ve seen here can be—”
With one continuous, lightning-fast movement, Fredrick instantaneously shot up from sitting to standing and audibly connected his right fist with Nightmare’s left eye-socket where the helmet did not cover. He planted his knuckles into her with all his might and the ‘clack’ it produced brought everypony out of their artificial characters.
“AAAHH!!” Nightmare, her voice oddly sounding like Luna’s, yelped out in certain pain, stumbling over her hoofwork and taking a knee as she clutched the left side of her face. Fredrick was just about to follow up when he was physically restrained by Stella, who happened to be yelling for him to stop.
“Fred! Stop! It’s a prank, mate! It’s a fucking prank!” she kept repeating into his ear like a mantra while holding him back by the torso. Just like that, the entire facade came crashing down. The lights brightened to their full potential, Stella’s eyes had returned to normal, and, shifting his glance back toward Nightmare, he instead found…
“L-Luna…?!”
“Ah... Fuck! I can’t believe you’ve done this…” she hissed to nopony, pained, and still clutching her eye with both hands. The manner of speaking had not changed, but the voice was definitely Luna. Moreover, the frightening build of Nightmare Moon had disappeared, leaving a familiar midnight-blue alicorn with oversized armor in its wake.
She shakily got to her feet and faced Fredrick, refusing to remove her left hand from her injured face.
“Well, that certainly ended in a way most unanticipated... OW.”
Fredrick only stared wide-eyed for several moments as the reality of it hit him, and the full point of realization was when he heard stifled snickering from Celestia… which quickly devolved into full, howling laughter. Clearly unharmed and free of her own restraints, the solar alicorn fell to her back in hysterics.
“He decked you in the face I just can’t… BAHAHAHAHA!” any semblance of control she had over her laughter receded as quickly as it came. Stella was also trying to contain her own but was faring much better than Celestia. The entire predicament collapsed when Fredrick quickly turned to view the corpse he had turned over on the bed… and it was nowhere to be found, having magically evaporated as it was only a false, magical manifestation.
“Wh-how… WHAT THE ACTUAL SHITFUCK?!” Fredrick demanded to know, a different kind of anger returning to him full force while his body shook emphatically. Celestia was still laughing her heart out, which meant that Luna and Stella were the only ones left to do the explaining. "No, seriously!!! WHAT THE FUCK GUYS!"
“Well, initially…” Luna began, having finally dropped her hand from her face to reveal a quickly-swelling cheek and semi-black eye. “...if you had endured for about a minute longer, we were to employ the use of the human named John Cena—whom I discovered on your phone—in the name of a prank. Of course, that is not what just happened.”
Fredrick shook his head, sighing out a portion of his soul in relief while he buried his face in his palms.
“GODDAMMIT! I actually thought you died, Luna… and the rest of you were just… Seriously, you all can get fucked so hard,” Fred declared with all the sincerity he could muster. He was spilling a few tears in relief, taking a seat on his bed to further catch his breath. "Oh my god..."
Luna and Stella looked worriedly to each other, and Celestia finally joined the trio. Perhaps they went a bit too far?
“Y’know,” the human spoke up again, sniffling away any residual congestion before anypony else had the chance to say anything. “I technically don’t have a right to complain, considering we committed domestic terrorism by staging a kidnapping and nearly faked an execution on you, Celestia,” he remarked. His heart was still racing and he was struggling, but succeeding, to bring his breathing under control.
“But seriously… I will be the first to say, while perfectly legal, that was seriously fucked up. IMMEASURABLY. Thanks for the PTSD, I guess,” Fred bitterly added. Internally, he was a bit conflicted, as there were several ways he could react to this whole situation. Logically, in terms of fairness, everypony was well within their rights to prank him, however horrible the prank was, considering this was probably how Celestia felt when he and Luna pranked her.
Luna and Celestia promptly took seats on either side of him, while Stella wasted no time in getting onto the bed and sat behind him.
“I’m… I’m sorry, Fredrick… perhaps we did get carried away,” Luna said morosely if awkwardly, not entirely sure what to say at this point. She cuddled into his side and held him tightly against her, as if he would shun her from here on out for her orchestration of such a brutal practical joke.
“You think? Ehhh…no it’s fine,” Fredrick quickly conceded after raising his voice, though he did not sound particularly enthusiastic about it due to feeling super tired and weak at the moment. Still, he leaned back into Luna. Celestia did well to scooch against him too, while Stella got in on the cuddle fest and, sympathetically, wrapped her arms around the human’s neck from behind. “Again, while that was incredibly genius, I will still reiterate: that was fucked up. I’ll be having nightmares for a good while.
"I will personally make sure that does not happen," Luna noted; Fred had suffered enough and it was the least she could do.
“I REALLY want to hate all three of you so much right now for ever making me believe that I lost my only anchors in this world… expect to hear this often for the next few weeks: I hope you all get AIDS.”
“Huh?”
“Nothing.”
“Well, you punched Luna in the face out of instinct… so I think you two are about even if you equate physical and psychological pain,” Celestia weighed in, which earned a deadpanned stare from Fredrick, though Stella had to, again, stave off her own laughter. “Sorry… not helping?”
“Nah, you’re right. And you seeing me in mental anguish probably makes up for you thinking you were going to die when we pranked you,” Fred replied, smiling weakly to convey the message that they were still close friends. However, Celestia had reminded him of what he inadvertently did to Luna, and he turned his attention back to her.
“Sorry ‘bout that, babe,” he said, cupping her face lovingly and angling it so he could get a look at his handiwork. He really did a number on her with that one punch.
“All is well, my love… ACH! But now I know not to prank you like that ever again.” She flinched when Fredrick ran his thumb over her purple, swollen cheek and eye. "Or anypony like that, for that matter," she added, directing that comment towards Celestia.
“So, answer me this… did you knock out your guards?” Fredrick asked. He had to know if they were playing along or if they were unaware.
With a comical purse of her lips, she nodded her head.
“You’re joking…”
“I am not! But I did not ‘knock them out…’ I only utilized an easy sleeping spell and the rest sorted itself out,” she explained to some snickering.
“And their weapons?”
“Back in the armory. They’ll wake up not knowing where they are nor what happened, so they’ll have to retrieve them again.”
“Luna I love you; I’ll always love you no matter what and that will never change… but you are fucking twisted and I fucking love it,” he said with good humor, perking up finally now that his adrenaline had returned to normal levels. That comment garnered giggles from everyone, but hearing Stella’s distinctive laughter reminded him that she was still there.
“Nice outfit,” Fred commented, giving her sitting form a once-over.
“Drink it in while you can; you’ll never see it again,” she teased, but she was serious about it. There was no reason to ever wear that garment ever again but for her own pleasure, really. That, or she’d don it for some lucky stallion or mare she was interested in, but that did not happen to be Fredrick, naturally.
At least, not anymore.
“But… you involved yourself, which means that you’re now a target,” Fredrick astutely pointed out, shooting Stella a dark, mischievous look, and for for the first time in his life, he saw her nearly recoil in fear.
“Don’t you even dare…”
“He’s right, Stella,” Luna agreed, nodding her head in approval. “While you did agree to assist the two of us, it would not be fair if you were to be excluded from any further pranking activities…”
“You may have to be a little careful from now on,” Celestia added, the three of them peering knowingly at the suddenly-anxious batpony, though Stella tried to play it off by averting her gaze.
“For what it’s worth though,” Fred spoke up again, giving a friendly point to Stella’s outfit. “...that looks really nice on you.”
“Fuck off, Fredrick.”
The other three devolved into more laughter, though Fredrick's was much louder and shakier for obvious reasons.
“Just, one thing…” Fredrick began, ignoring Stella’s words and addressing everypony at once. “PLEASE no more pranks of that magnitude, okay? Besides, I don’t even think we can top that. Let's keep it below the threshold of irreparable psychological damage, okay?”
“Agreed.”
The first mistake was Fredrick thinking this would blow over and would not be too much of a problem. The mind is certainly a funny thing.