Pony Ball Z: The Tirek Saga

by Hairy Konquerer


Arrival on Namarek! The hunt for the Dragon Balls begins!

The Namarekian ship flew through empty space, Gilda thinking to herself as time passed.

'Gilda's log. Stardate: November 15. Have no idea how long I can stay here anymore without losing my mind from the tension. Especially when Thunderlane is walking around in his underwear. Would try to relieve it, but if only the toilet decides to stop' "Screaming at me!" Gilda finished her thoughts aloud.

"Crap on my face!" The toilet yelled from the other room.

"Gilda are you okay?" Thunderlane asked from the other room.

"Yeah I'm fine. Faust Damn C*cktease." Gilda muttered that last statement under her breath. She looked out the window and saw something that that made her smile. "GUYS! I THINK IT"S NAMAREK!" Gilda yelled in joy causing Thunderlane and Scootaloo to come over and cheer as they saw the planet and the ship flew down, without needing a voice command meaning they made it. The ship descended near a lake, and Thunderlane then putting a smaller suit on as he fiddled with a machine. "Okay girls just wait until I have this fixed up, that way we can know what's in the atomosphere-" Thunderlane stopped as he saw Gilda and Scootaloo simply standing out there looking around causing him to facefault.

Gilda looked across the landscape, taking it in as there wasn't a single city in the distance, it was truly beautiful. The crystal clear water, the lush green fields, the clean pollution free sky- "Wow this place is boring." Gilda spoke. "No wonder Nightmare hung out in wastelands, natural instinct and all that." Thunderlane then jumped from behind them steaming. "ARE YOU TWO OUT OF YOUR MINDS?! JUST WALK ON OUT HERE AND LOOK AROUND?! FOR ALL WE KNEW THE ATMOSPHERE COULD'VE BEEN MADE OUT OF ASBESTOS AND GASOLINE!!"

"Thunderlane, just calm down so we can get this down, and you can go back to your life of being rich with caviar and rotten grapes and all that crap." Gilda responded prompting a huff from Thunderlane as he took out the Dragon Radar and turned it on. "Huh what'd you know we're already picking up 4 bunched together." Thunderlane said with a smile. Gilda was about to say something when stopped dead in her tracks, her blod running cold as she turned around slowly seeing the Saiyan pod flying in the distance.

"Huh, weird, they're on the move now." Thunderlane noted then looked up at Gilda. "What's wrong?" He looked and saw Scootaloo had the same expression on her face as she looked up. "G-Gilda...Is...that...her?" She asked terrified as this power was stronger then ever before. Gilda opened her beak, and only squeaks came out until it turned into a scream of pure terror.

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The pod door opened, and Lightning Dust trotted out of the hole, a scream in the distance catching her ears as she tuned her scouter picking up several high power levels a mile or so away. "All right, I just need to find out how many of them Tirek has and lie low from there." Lightning Dust looked up and saw another pod dropping down and smiled. "Should've stayed home Adagio." She said as she trotted towards the pod.

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Gilda finally stopped screaming but when she turned around she saw two aliens wielding blasters as well as the too familiar scouters. "In the name of Tirek we demand you stay where you are and we'll shoot you." One of them called out.

"Crap baskets." Gilda said before ducking from a shot from the blasters as they penetrated the ship, destroying the controls. "And that was when we were stranded on Namarek."

"Damn man you couldn't hit the broad side of a space barn. Didn't you go to space shooting school?" The alien asked his partner.

"No because I was too busy hitting the broad side of YOUR MOM!" The other one replied only for Gilda and Scootaloo to kick them both in the face sending them slamming into each other then into the water below. "Well that's done." Gilda noted not seeing them float up. She then looked over and saw Thunderlane was shocked and on the verge of tears as smoked fumed out the ship. She then felt something and quickly went to the ground with Scootaloo and Thunderlane as several more soldiers flew past them terrifying her at their power. Gilda felt a little moist between her legs then quickly ran to a bush and let out a sigh of relief. Scootaloo rolled her eyes as she spotted a cave. "Thunderlane, go hide in that cave, I'm gonna go follow those guys and see what they want here. Tell Gilda what I'm doing when she's done."

"Fine. Who knows, maybe I'll meet a real mare here."

"What about Flare?"

"A real mare."

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Adagio landed a few miles from her pod and looked around, startled by the whistle coming from right behind her. She turned around and saw Lightning Dust there, and sitting on a rock. "Hey Lightning, wondering what I'm doing here?"

"To stop me from thwarting Tirek's plans and you would've been here earlier but you needed to plow my father first. Jokes on you cause my father's dead.Speaking of dead, what was your power level again?"

"Ha. Like you would remember, 18,000, same as you. Why, wanna fight me and lose?"

"Funny you should say that, because I've been brushing up on my history and Saiyans power grows stronger every time they suffer near death injuries and recover." Adagio blinked for a second.

"W-What?"

"And let me tell you, I got destroyed. I was beaten, broken, lost my tail, and all to a lower class loser, her half breed daughter, a griffon, and a pudgy mint unicorn on her hindhooves."

"Why would you tell me this? No way you'd tell anyone this." Adagio asked confused.

"Easy, because I know you'll never be able to tell anyone after."

"But of course I'd tell someone, why wouldn't I-" Adagio's eyes widened as Lightning Dust took a step towards her. "You know one of my favorites things is therapy, this'll be one great step." Adagio was panicking until she looked behind Lightning. "Thank goodness it's you Lord Tirek." Lightning Dust turned around but then found nothing there as Adagio then unleashed a barrage of Ki Blasts on her leaving only a crater in front of her. Adagio chuckled a little. "Stronger every injury my flank."

"Oh it's not's just strength." A voice said causing Adagio to turn around and see Lightning Dust behind her unscathed. "It's also speed. So tell me, you think you'll be able to tell anyone what happened in Hell?" She asked with a grin, making Adagio trip in fear before flying off only for Lightning to fly immediately after her and punched her in the stomach, causing some blood to spew out before she was sent flying. Lightning Dust simply smiled as she watched Adagio fly off, bringing her hoof back "Goodb-" She said thrusting her hoof forward letting herself be cut off by Adagio's scream of pain as her remains fell to the ground.

"Adagio I'm afraid you're fired."

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A cream colored earth pony with a black mane, blue eyes, in red spandex in high heels and holding 2 large Dragon Balls gasped as he scouter exploded suddenly. The Metal and spiky beetle with a single red visor with one Dragon Ball in his claw looked over to her. "Heck just happened High Heels?" He asked.

"Something set me off prematurely Hardshell, someone worth 15 Flash Sentry's just got snuffed."

"Must've been Adagio, poor batwinged bitch." Hardshell responded.

"Who was she again?' High Heels asked.

"Yellow Pony, big hair, hated Lightning Dust." High Heels was silent. "Reproduced asexually."

"Oh now I remember her, I just wish she wasn't all up in my face about that, I can only swallow so much."

"Hush up you two. We're about to have an important conversation." A voice said from the hovering chair in front of them. Sitting in it was a small lanky unicorn with a red coat and black eyes, with yellow pupils, his horn grey in contrast to his coat.

"Yes Lord Tirek." They both replied without hesitation.

They looked over at the Purple Alicorn with a dark blue mane and a single violet and purple streak in it, hiding behind her was small light purple pony with a grey mane, and a small black Alicorn with slit eyes and looked much like a younger Nightmare Moon.

Scootaloo and Gilda looked on at what was happening from a cliff, scared at how many soldiers surrounded the three of them.