Continuing the Dream

by Blue Breeze


Jackflank

Author's Note: There will be pain. There will be shit. There will be a HUGE amount of stupidity. Remember to not try any of this at home under any circumstances. Do it at school or work so you can file for a lawsuit. Now, on with the story.

Another day another bit. Yet just another uneventful work session at Ponyville Weather Control. For some strange reason, nothing ever seems to happen while we're working. Not once can I remember something weird happening while on the clock. Oh well.

Right now the guys and I are leaving work together as we always do. I pass by Sunny as I walk towards the door. "Hey, Blue." she says. "We still on for hanging out on Friday?"

I smile. "You bet. I'm looking forward to it."

"Great. I can't wait. I can tell it's going to be fun.""

Yes, Sunny and I are still hanging out on Friday. I may asked her about it when I was acting all...flamboyant, but I still think it's about time I hung out with that mare. I feel bad for not doing it sooner.

...What is it with me rambling on like this? Whatever.

As we exit the office, Dark waits around the corner, holding a camera in one hoof. A presses a button on it, which turns on a small, red light on it. He then brings it up to his face.

"Hey there, folks. I'm Dark Lightning, and welcome to my new show, Jackflank. A show all about seeing how stupid and masochistic ponies can really get. For my first performance, I'm going to kick my buddy, Blue Breeze, in the balls." he moves the camera out so I'm in its view before bringing it back to him. "Wish me luck."

Dark sneakily rushes from behind the building and right behind us, my jewels an easy targetfor him. Before we get far, I feel a huge pain between my legs as Dark bucks me between them. I collapse to the ground, holding my crotch.

"Ballbusting successful." Dark says to the camera.

I squirm on the ground for a moment before picking myself up and punching Dark in the snout. I grab him by the scruff of his chest and shake him. "What the buck is wrong with you?!"

"Jackflank, man." he replies happily.

"Jack what?"

"My new show, Jackflank. A show all about doing stupid, painful, and gross stunts. And you're on it."

I look over at the camera, which he had on us the whole time. "Where'd you even get that camera?"

"Asked Pinkie if she had a spare and let me take this one."

"Of course she did."

"So, you guys wanna come on board for this?"

"Why would we do that?"

"Oh, come on. What do you have to lose?"'

"Besides my life, bottlely functions, and the ability to have kids?"

"Yeah, besides all that."

I sigh. "Fine, not like I had anything else planned anyway."

"I'm in too!" Zeph says. "This sounds kinda fun."

"I'm up for it. I can take any kind of pain you got for me." Drax says.

"Aw, sorry. No pain. But I did throw your wallet in a huge mound of ursa poop in the Everfree Forest." Dark says with a smug grin.

"You what?!" Drax takes him by the neck. "Why I oughtta..."

"Ah ah ah. You need me if you want to find it."

Drax thinks it over and drops him. "Fine. Let's go. Now!"

"Okay, just follow me."

We follow behind Dark as he leads us over to the forest. During the entire walk, Drax has annoyed look on his face. We enter the forest after a bit of walking.

"Not far now. It was pretty close to around here." Dark says, looking around.

I bring a hoof to mynose. "Bleck, I can smell it."

"Pew, so do I." Zeph says.

"Yeah, that baby is fresh." Dark says.

"Great." Drax says, obviously pissed.

"Well, here we are." Dark says as we reach the mountain of poop. "If you want it, you'll have to fish for it."

Drax growls. "I'm gonna get you for this." he walks over and takes a deep breath before he plunges into it.

"Now this is what I call entertainment." Dark says as he films everything.

After quite a bit of searching around for a bit, Drax comes out, wallet with him and covered in feces. "Dark, you're dead." his mouth swells up as he tries not to puke.

"You go shower up while we keep doing this, okay?"

He growls again. "Fine, but this isn't over." he then walks off, leaving just the three of us.

"Okay, so, what next?" I ask.

"Booping Vine's nose and not running."

Zeph and I each freeze up at that. "No way am I doing that!"

"Me neither!"

"Relax guys. I've got the perfect scapegoat." he reasures. We both look at him quizically, but he just walks ff. "Follow me and then you'll see what I mean."

Over at the vet's office

We walk in to see Rhino manning the front desk. "Hey, guys. What's going on?" he says.

"Hey, Rhino. Just curious, is Vine still upset you ding dong ditching her."

He looks down. "She's still irritated with me, yes."

"Well, how would you like it if I told you how to make her not only forgive you, but also make her SUPER nice to you?"

"Really? How?"

"Come with us and you'll see."

"Sure thing." he pulls out a sign saying "Off to lunch" and puts it down on the desk before taking off his coat and coming with us.

We walk the streets of Ponyville, on our way over to VIne's house. We stop as we near the house. "Okay, all you gotta do is knock on the door, and when she answers it, boop her on the nose." Dark says.

"That's it? Seems easy enough. I'll do it."

"That a boy. Now you go do that."

Rhino walks oss as the rest of us take cover behind another house. He goes over and knocks on the door for it to be answered by Vine.

She sighs. "What do you want, Rhino?"

Rhino raises up a hoof and touches to her nose. "Boop."

Vine stands there frozen for a moment. "Ten seconds."

"Say what?"

"Ten-No, seven seconds before I end you." she says coldly.

"Wait, this was all Dark's idea!" he says. He points over to where we were, but sees we are now gone. He gives her a nervous chuckle.

We pop out as Vine begins her assualt on every part of Rhino's body, her using a vine to grab his horn and keep him from using magic..

"Hahaha, this is the best!" Dark says. He places a hoof over the camera lens. "Woah ho ho! Best I not show that, or this would NEVER get on T.V."

"Um, is there anything else?" Zephyr asks.

"As a matter of fact, yes. I've got one more idea. Come with me."

We loook at each other before shrugging and following our black and red "friend". We follow to some kind of steep hill with a shopping cart at the top and that leads down to a cliff.

Dark pulls out some rpe and tosses them to us. "Tie these around your wings and then get in the cart."

Not questioning it for some reason, Zeph and I somewhat hesitantly do as we're told. We look at him as we sit in the cart.

"What's this about, Dark?"

"Downhill cart driving!"

"What?!" Zeph and I both shout.

"I'm gonna film you two while you guys roll down this hill that leads into a cliff, al while you're wearing wing restraining ropes."

"I don't think I like this ide-"

"No time! Let's go!" Dark takes the cart and gives it a strong push, sending us down the hill.

Zeph and I scream as we go downhill, dodging by rocks and ducking below tree branches.

"I don't wanna die! I don't wanna die! I don't wanna die!" I scream.

"Woohoo! This is awesome!" Zeph shouts. He stops his celebrating as we near the cliff. "I take that back!"

We scream as we go flying off the cliff. After a few moments of soaring, we crash into a fruit stand, luckily no ponies around to be caught in it. Zeph and I groan in pain.

Dark grabs the camera and points it at his face. "Well, that was our first episode of Jackflank. Hopefully you all enjoyed it as much as I did. See ya next time."

Later

Dark sits at the library alone while Twilight and Spike run arrons. As he does this, Zeph and I burst through the front door.

"Het, guys. What's up?" I ignore him and grab the camera. "Wait, what are you gonna do with that?" I ignore him again as I take the camera and smash it on the ground. "NO! My camera! My tape!"

I give him my coldest glare. "Never again."