Jade - 27th of Megan '15 EoH - Late MorningJade - 27th of Megan '15 EoH - Late Morning
“Miss, wake up. You’re free to go.”
I blinked my eyes sleepily open to see a shiny silver helmet staring at me through the open cell door. I also instantly realized that rocks are super uncomfortable sleeping places for non-lings.
“Ow…” I groaned, standing up from the floor and shaking off the stiffness.
“Tell me about it.” David grumbled, popping his neck.
The guard stepped aside to let me walk through the door, and gestured towards the cell block’s entrance as he started to lead us out.
“The Knight-Captain had decided to be lenient, since this is your first offense.” The guard mentioned as he led us up the spiral staircase towards the surface. “Normally, one of us would be assigned to follow you to be sure you leave the city prior to nightfall. Instead, you are to respect this deadline on your own. I also must inform you that the penalty for being in a place you are judicially banished from before the sentence expires is facial branding.”
I felt my ears stand up straight in alarm. “Sun’s light! Who the hay decided to escalate from go away to face burning!?”
“King Bit Gnasher the Terrible.” The guard replied, levitating a ring of keys from his belt in preparation for the upcoming door. “Our current Liege’s great grandsire. The law is harsh, but fair, and with purpose.”
David nodded slowly. “It’s better than my homeland’s justice system. A light punishment for violating civil law, and a harsh one for violating a court ruling. That’s way better than well… Let’s see two people died, and while it was self defense I did escalate the situation, and I did rush to defend you, Jade, after you called for help. Legally that would be first degree murder of two people, and I did it with a weapon illegal for carry and use by federal law… So, we’re looking at a minimum sentence for life for me, possibly execution, and as an accomplice, you would have been-”
I held up a hoof to cut David off, “I get it… I… I guess I don’t know much about the world do I?”
David shook his head gently. “No, but it’s fine, you’re young.”
“Aye, she looks about twenty to me.” The guard comment as he stopped to unlock the door. “Don’t fret not knowing too much Miss. You really only start to feel like you have a handle on life after your first century.”
“Humm…” David curiously scratched his chin, “That reminds me, I’m not from around here… How long is your average life? For a pony I mean.”
The guard pulled open the door and waved us into the small entry room of the guardhouse we had been processed in yesterday. “Well, I hear it’s longer in other lands, but most ponies who can avoid dying in battle make it to two hundred and thirty. Most other species don’t live as long, I’ve outlived a few Zebra friends. Hay, I actually was friends with a changeling once. Poor bastard only lasted for about twenty years.”
I nodded sympathetically, “Yeah, harvesters definitely get the short end of the stick…”
“Aye, that’s what he said he was. Least you know plenty about changelings. Good thing to keep yourself well versed on them. What with the Swarm frequenting these parts.” The guard gave us both a polite nod, during which I caught a flash of peach from behind his eye slits. “Good day to you, and remember, out by twilight, or be branded an outlaw. Literally.”
I giggled nervously and nodded, quickly trotting out of the guardhouse. Sure I could just shift the braid away, but I’ve seen what a glowing rod does to pony skin. That poor smith’s apprentice looked like he wanted to die right there.
“Oh yes,” The guard said as I zipped out, “Your possessions are in this bag, sir.”
“Thanks.” David grunted.
After putting a few long steps behind me I turned to look over my shoulder at David, ducking through the doorway to leave.
“Okay, so, we need to find Azur and get on a boat.” I said, determined to finally get to safety.
David nodded stepped over to me, opened a large canvas bag and took out his belt, strapping it back onto his waist along with his knife, and the little brass punching thing.
“That we do. I hope he didn’t leave town. The guards won’t let us back in.” He said wearily as he tucked the large bag of coins into a jacket pocket.
“That’s no problem! I’ll just shift into somepony else and walk back on inside. You know, if we don’t find him here.” I replied proudly.
Three’s gift was going to be so handy! Now that I understood the basics of shifting, I had a few ideas of things I wanted to play around with. Like keeping my own wings while having a pegasus’s body.
What? Pegasi wings feel clunky.
“Huh.” David mused, stroking his chin.
“Not used to having somepony helping who can be anypony are you?” I asked with a grin.
“Nope. Disguises are… Not really something my people are good at. The best we do, that I’m aware isn’t just a movie thing, is to steal an enemy uniform and act like we belong.” David commented.
“Uniform?” I asked, “You mean where you live people label themselves by like, town and stuff?”
He shook his head and chuckled, “No, just by nation, army, and organization. Not all the time, just while on duty. See the patches and ribbons on my jacket? It’s my old uniform jacket.”
“Oh, well… what do you do to infiltrate a town?” I asked as David started to walk towards the main street.
“No idea. I know it’s done, but I never was with the OSI, CIA, FBI, or any other three letter spook agency.” He commented. “Anyways, Azur, with luck maybe he’s kept the cart where I left it and him to get you.”
“Humm… It is pretty heavy, and he’s pretty tiny. He might not be able to pull it.” I commented. “Then again, magic.”
“Right.” David answered.
We turned the corner onto the mainstreet together, and immediately noticed a small crowd a short ways down the road. Gathered around-
“Oh… god…. dammit…” David groaned rubbing his face with one hand. “He was hypnotized…”
“And we left him alone with all of the stuff…” I groaned realizing what David was talking about like a slap to the face.
“While he’s under some kind of power of suggestion…”
We both took off towards the cart at a quick run, hoping he wasn’t selling off or giving away crap at random to ponies asking for it.
The ring of ponies was only two layers deep. I quickly pushed through the two lines, ignoring the angry objections. “Excuse me, this is our cart! You can’t ju-”
The first thing I saw was Azur’s surprisingly bubbly plot, jammed up into the air thanks to his rear legs being locked strait as a board. Then I saw the bright yellow sundress he had on. His face smushed into the wagon’s spokes. The smell of somepony who had far too much mead last night clouding the air.
“Ha!” I erupted, unable to laugh properly due to the sheer humor before me.
David caught up a second later, shook his head and knelt down to give Azur a sharp shake of the shoulders. “Come on Azur,its up and at 'em!”
A few of the crowed started to nervously back off as David came into their view. I couldn’t really blame them. I mean, David was an exception to the ‘dog smash puny pony!’ rule.
David gave Azur another shake before stopping dead and exclaiming, “Where the hell did you get piercings?”
“Wait, he got piercings?” I asked curiously trotting closer to take a look at-
A glint of gold under his tail caught my eye as I moved. “Oh… my… Faust…” I gasped, falling over as I erupted into laughter.
David turned around to give me a confused look, “But you couldn’t see his face from that ang- Jade… are there piercings at the other end?”
“Yeeeep!” A lime colored mare giggled.
David groaned and held his head in his hands. “I am not removing those if he doesn't remember getting them…”
“Oh, he won't.” The same pony giggled. “He’s been there since sunup, I watched him collapse into the drunk sleep as I set up the cafe.”
“But you didn’t help him up?” I asked, wiping a tear from my eye.
“Of course not!” she objected, “Somepony that drunk needs sleep, then coffee. I’ve been waiting for him to wake up so I ca-”
“Did you say coffee?” David asked, ears perked and tail wagging.
“Yes! Some of the finest in-”
I swear that David teleported us both to a table. It was a blink and you will miss it thing. One minute street, next minute sitting down with coffee.
The two of us enjoyed a nice hot meal. We spent maybe an hour slowly eating to let Azur get some sleep. The cafe had some pretty nice food. It was nice to nibble on some pony food again, the flavor is totally different from love, friendship, and family, but it was pretty close to joy. The hayfries especially reminded me of delight.
We were eventually asked to leave though. The lunch rush was coming soon apparently, and well, lime fur was concerned that a dog would drive away customers. David seemed nonplussed, having wanted to get lunch too, but he paid the bill with some of the coins he had cleverly weaseled the law into thinking were ours and we went back out to the cart.
As we walked out, Azur flopped over, a soft “Ow…” barely audible over the buzz of the streets accompanying the flop.
David shook his head and knelt down, offering a hand to help him up. “Hey kid. How’s the head?”
“Sun… too bright…” Azur moaned. “Needs… dimmer switch.”
David tilted his head slightly, then shook it a little, like he was dismissing a thought he had. “Did you drink anything in my medical supplies?” He asked calmly.
“What?” Azur asked loudly.
“Did you drink something from my medical supplies.” David asked again.
“Oh. No… Cold… Pub over there.” Azur answered pointing with a hoof to a small, but nicely decorated pub.
“How did you buy drinks?” I asked, suppressing a gasp of ‘awww’.
Apparently aside from the like, twenty or so rings I’d seen earlier whoever had done the piercings had made Azur a whole other level of adorable. The two golden rings just above his left eye were perfect, they totally completed his features, and the three small hoops in his left ear and two in the right one complemented everything nicely.
Azur blinked a few times, and squinted at me curiously. “Wer bist du? Oh yeah…you’re a buggy-bug-bug… Ugh… Nice mare, had drinks as friends… Told her about my parents and stuff. Can’t remember…”
“So then, you don’t remember getting those piercings?” David asked, “Because I want to know where the hell you got modern style-”
“Piercings?” Azur asked sitting bolt upright, and instantly wincing from the movement.
“Yeah. Left eyebrow, ears, gold hoops. They look good too.” David informed.
“Was der Bock!?” Azur exclaimed, quickly moving a hoof up to feel his face and smacking himself in the right eye, “Ah! Faust verdammt!”
To my surprise, as he rubbed his eye, a small bit of what looked like glass pushed off the surface of his eye, which was now green.
“Huh?” I asked, like the intellectual I am.
David’s tail stood up in surprise. “Is that a fucking colored contact?”
“Oh… ponyfeatehrs. That came out?” Azur grumbled, and carefully stuck the glass-like bit back onto his eye. “No idea why, but can’t make it change color myself… so got a contact… They Ärger me when they look different.”
“But where did you get it?” David asked, still completely surprised.
“At the optometrist's. Back home.” He said still squinting in the light. “Do I really have piercings?”
I nodded, “Yep! They look really cute… The face ones at least.”
Azur’s head slowly turned to look me dead in the eyes. “Was?”
“Well,” I blushed, “I didn’t exactly take a good look, but I learned that you can apparently pierce male parts today.”
Azur’s eyes shrank to pinpricks. “W-was?”
“I didn’t check either, but the mare who runs that cafe saw them too.” David pointed out, you were sort of sleeping with your ass in the air. In the street.”
Azur blushed deeply, and bent his neck down to check his undercarriage.
“Ack!” Azur’s ears stood straight up in alarm, a half second after looking. He lunged forwards and grabbed David by the shoulders, shaking him urgently, “Fix-it-fix-it-fix-it-fix-it-fix-it-fix-it-fix-it!”
David pushed Azur’s hooves off his shoulders and stood up. “No! I’m not touching your junk for non-medical reasons!”
Azur’s ears drooped in the most pathetic way I had ever seen. “I somehow got piercings in Stalliongrad! Backwards, medical, nightmare Stalliongrad! They could get infected and rot off!” He squeaked fearfully.
“Azur,” David said in a bluntly honest tone. “I am a doctor. If they get infected, I will take them out. However, I just so happen to know that you are almost guaranteed an infection if you remove a piercing before it heals. That should take about one to two months for the junk, and will be about two months for the face. If you still want them gone then, I’ll take them out.”
Azur squirmed keeping his plot planted firmly on the ground. “B-b-but… M...my stuff is… tucked up and in… using the piercings.” He admitted tapping his hooves together timidly.
“So?” I asked. “You heard the doc, remove after healed.”
David frowned slightly, “Are you in pain?”
“N-nein.” Azur admitted.
“Then what’s the medical reason for me to go anywhere near your dick?” David demanded.
“I look like a mare now…” Azur answered, ears drooped.
David and I facehooved in unison.
“Sun’s light Azur!” I groaned, “How does that change a damn thing about you from yesterday?”
“What she said!” David groaned. “You’re in a goddamn dress. You crossdress and enjoy it, what’s the problem here?”
Azur blushed deeply and slowly stood up. “In ordnung, you have a point… But I… now I can’t prove to somepony that I’m not a mare and… Um… Stallions who don’t like stallions get mad if you trick them like that.”
“You can’t possibly look that much like a mare because of some gold hoops!” I objected.
“Yeah!” David agreed. “Just tell them no. I already said I’m not touching those unless it’s a medical emergency.”
Azur’s ears slowly stood up. “Okay… Just… shocked… But you’re right, I mean, I can’t look that female… Um, J-jade, would you mind checking?”
“What?” I asked raising an eyebrow.
“W-would you mind telling me if you can still tell I am a stallion?” He asked.
I sighed a long, irritated sigh. “Fine.”
I quickly trotted around behind Azur and… Oh my… The answer was no. Whoever had done the piercings had done them in such a way as to pull the skin into a very convincing shape. In fact, they probably gave him some kind of piercing for tansmares.
I coughed into a hoof and looked away, “You’re fine. Just um, take that dress off, draws the eye to your plot.”
There was no need to upset the poor guy.
Azur nodded and sighed in relief. “Gut… Sehr gut.”
He carefully took the dress off with his magic and blinked in surprise at seeing the yellow fabric. “Was? This isn’t the dress I bought yesterday!”
David shook his head slowly. “Okay. Before we start to unravel some kind of long winding trail of drunken antics… The law wants us gone by sundown, and we have about a hundred coins to use. Let’s get on a boat and get gone.”
Azur folded the yellow dress and put it in the card, retrieving one of his bags with his magic. “Ja, that’s the best idea… just let me change.”
“What?” I deadpanned.
“W-well… I remembered… I decided to just be a mare for a bit… Explaining to everypony is getting… Well, you know.” He sighed irritably.
“Y-you’re worried about looking like a mare, but you’re going to dress up like one for a while?” David and I asked together with equil confusion.
“J-ja… I forgot till now. Everything in my head wants to kill me, okay!?” He said with a wince.
David immediately winced. “Ah. A class four… Jade, lay off the poor guy. He’ll need a few hours to be thinking normally.”
“Are hangovers really that bad?” I asked.
He nodded and was about to say something when Azur slipped into a purple dress he took from his bag. David’s eyes dilated, his hand went up to his face and before the weary sigh I was expecting he shook his head. “Azur…”
“Ja?” The now totally a mare no matter what she tells you looking stallion replied.
“Just… I… Look, don’t worry about being able to prove you’re a guy. That dress destroys any chance you have.” David said, turning to pick up the cart’s handles. “Going now.”
I nodded in agreement and flapped my wings to hop up to my usual comfy laying on the cart spot. Azur trotted up, walking alongside David as we began to move down the street.
“D-do I really look that pretty in this?” He asked curiously, and hopefully.
“Yes.” I answered, because David’s right ear was getting twitchy.
“Yay!” Azur said, skipping happily for two steps before almost tripping. “Agg! No… skipping bad…”
“I don’t get you kid.” David lamented. “You put all this time and energy into looking like a mare, but insist on everyone calling you a guy. Even though to be frank, you act more like a girl. Not that that’s a bad thing just… The hell man?”
Azur blushed shyly and kicked one hoof against the ground before resuming walking. “... I just like to be pretty and get compliments, und-”
I rolled my eyes, “Azur, do you have a feminine name you’ve ever used for dressing up?”
He nodded, “Ja! Lilly. It was my grandmoth-”
“Hi Lily!” I greeted with a cheerful wave.
David’s ears perked, he got what I was doing.
“Yes! We are doing this!” David agreed. “Hi Lilly, nice to meet you.”
Azu- Lily's ears drooped. “Y-you're going to call me a girl now aren't you?”
I could hear the sad frown in his voice, but Faust dammit, clearly the poor girl was just stuck on some weird mental hurdle! A helping boost over it was bucking necessary at this point.
“Yep. Because you totally are one.” David said bluntly.
“Mmmmmhm.” I agreed. “Or at least you’re happier when people think you’re a mare. Either way, you’re a girl for at least the boat ride to… wherever.”
“Okay…” Lily sighed. “But if I’m not happier you have to be a colt for a week!”
I rolled my eyes. “Oh no, such a horrible thing. It’s not like I can change bodies like you change dresses.”
“I’m gonna make you do it!” he promised, giving me a serious look which made a bang of mane fall over his nose. Er, her nose. It obliterated all possible seriousness the moment could have, and I could tell from her quickly stifled giggle that he knew the moment was dead too.
I settled back down on the oddly comfy crate, with a giggle and remained quiet until we reached the docks. We were finally going to be able to be happy, safe, and free.