The Bucket

by Incredible Blunderbolt


Full House

The bar is stuffy and crowded with ponies enjoying the first night of the weekend. Cheers and drunken howls are erupting from the dance floor, animalistic representations of the formerly professional workers. You don’t really care though. After all, it’s the same every Friday in Ponyville.

In fact, you think humorously, today is not only payday for them, but for you as well. A shadow of a smile creeps onto your face as you toss your cards on the table before you. “Read it and weep, boys,” you say with a laugh. “Full house—Jacks on eights.”

Your opponents’ jaws drop comically as you wrap a hoof around their hard earned Bits—easily three day’s worth of pay—and drag them towards your side of the table, adding them to the already large pile of golden coins that made up your winnings. One yellow stallion knocked his mug off the table in anger, his cider spewing all over the floor. “You damn Snake!” he roared, slamming his forehooves on the fine oak.

A look down at your mug confirms that his outburst has caused some of your cider to bounce out of its container and land on the table. You feel your lip perk up into your signature smug smirk. “That’s what they call me,” you chide. “Never play poker with a pony called 'Snake.'” Then closer, with a complete seriousness, you growl, “I never lose.”

It wasn’t like you’d forced them to play against you, was it? Besides, it was their own damn fault for being so easy to fool! A subtle shiver here, a couple of ‘nervous’ twitches, and they’d all believed you were bluffing; something that most definitely encouraged Peels, the banana farmer, to go all in on his hand. You shake your head in disbelief, this game seemed to get easier and easier every day you played it.

Well, maybe your world shouldn’t be phrased quite so ‘life of leisure’ esque. Having no real job—aside from taking other ponies’ mis-gambled Bits—you’ve certainly had more than your fair share of cold, hungry nights, sleeping in alleyways. But, for the most part, ‘life of leisure’ was actually a good way to put it. You did what you wanted when you wanted to do it--and if you didn’t have enough coin, there was always somepony out there willing to take a chance. Too bad for them, you rarely ever lose. With a special talent for poker, how could you?