//------------------------------// // Sunset Shimmer Almost Goes to a Convention // Story: Fast Times at Stinky Sugar // by PresentPerfect //------------------------------// Sunset Shimmer Almost Goes to a Convention by Present Perfect "What kind of gathering is this again?" Despite the cheerful students boarding the bus, Sunset couldn't help feeling confused. After all, this trip wasn't school sanctioned -- there were no chaperones, and no one was calling it a 'field trip' -- yet they had commissioned school buses, and it seemed every student from Canterlot High was coming. Everyone wore their Wondercolts accoutrements. Whatever was happening seemed to engender a sizable amount of school spirit, but something about the situation felt wrong. She adjusted the strap of her backpack and looked to Rainbow Dash, who opened her mouth only for Fluttershy to cut in. "It's a convention! There will be panels, and videos, and sing-alongs, and we can talk about our favorite animals and dress up, and--" Rainbow placed her hand over Fluttershy's mouth. "Don't sweat it, Sunny. You'll have a blast with the rest of us. Promise!" Pinkie bounced over, her hair positively bristling with yellow-and-blue horse-ear headbands. "Yeah, Sunset! You'll have a super-duper time for sure! Assuming no one comes along to try and ruin everything, that is!" Pinkie's gift for prognostication chose that moment to rear its ugly head. A luxury convertible, painted in clashing stripes, screeched past the row of buses. In it were five of the girls they knew as the Shadowbolts. The one with blue hair and goggles threw something out of the car; it wasn't obvious what it was until a splash soaked Rarity to the bone, and she ran off screaming into the school. "Yiff in Tartarus, Canterfags!" shouted the girl in the car. The one in the driver's seat adjusted her glasses. "Your questionable lifestyle choices are making you a laughing stock, and your whole school getting in on it only magnifies the tragedy." "Gun it, Sugarcoat!" yelled a third girl, and the convertible peeled away in a cloud of smoke. "Did--" Sunset coughed violently. "Did she just call us 'Canterfags'?" Applejack rolled her eyes. "C'mon, y'all, best be up front with 'er." Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy chuckled nervously, rubbing their necks. Sunset frowned and crossed her arms. "All right, just what is going on around here? What's this 'convention' we're supposed to be going to?" "Big City Furcon," Rainbow mumbled. Sunset waved her hand. "Which iiiis?" "Ooh, ooh, I know!" Pinkie bounced up and down, hand in the air. "It's a place you go to get in touch with your inner animal!" "Yeah!" Rainbow, suddenly animated, grabbed Sunset by the shoulders. "Like, my fursona's a half-wolf, half-jaguar cyborg with neon rainbow wings! She can run super-fast and shoot exploding lasers from her eyes! Her name's Accelondra Awesomesauce, but her friends call her Double-A!" She elbowed Sunset in the side. "Though she's more a double-D, if you get my drift." "I don't think I do," Sunset mumbled, rubbing her side. "My fursona is a bunny," Fluttershy said, smiling softly and tapping her fingertips together. "Well, a bunnytaur. With four arms. And four, um... boobies." The last word came out in a whisper, her face reddening. "Whoa, whoa, wait!" Rainbow held up both hands. "Ex-ex-Love-ex-Goddess-ex-Amira-ex-ex?" Fluttershy nodded, chewing on her lip. "Oh my gosh!" Rainbow embraced Fluttershy, laying her head on her shoulder and weeping gently. "All those long nights on YiffMUCK! The deep, meaningful conversations on FurIsSexy-dot-com! That was you?" Fluttershy cringed, unable to escape Rainbow's death-grip. "I'm sorry, but I don't arr-pee eye-arr-ell." "Am I the only one who's completely not following this?" Sunset asked no one in particular. Applejack rolled her eyes and sighed loudly. Pinkie began bouncing and waving her hand again. "Ooh, ooh! Mine's a cow! She has udders everywhere, and she can squirt chocolate milk out of--" "That's enough o' that," Applejack said, clamping her hand over the other girl's mouth. "Leave your weirdo fetishes at home, thanks." "Speaking of!" Rainbow pounced on Applejack, massaging her shoulder with one hand and leering at her. "This kinky vixen has one of the best 'sonas ever! Tell 'er, AJ!" Applejack slumped, groaned, and slapped her forehead. "Fine. She's an eight-foot-tall, super-muscular horse." "Aaaand?" Rainbow grinned sidelong at Applejack. "She's a... herm." Before Rainbow could get another word out, she hastily added, "On account of an evil sorceress put a spell on her!" Rainbow snickered. "And her name's Big Macarena!" Rainbow doubled over with laughter, and Applejack pulled her hat down over her eyes. "I like horses, and I ain't too creative, all right?" Rainbow elbowed her. "Yeah, but she knows how to give as good as she takes, too, if you get my drift." "I really don't," Sunset said through her palm. "It's all very simple, darling," said a newly dried-and-changed Rarity, walking out of the school while putting the finishing touches on her hairdo. "The convention is a place to go to mingle with others who feel a strong connection to animals. Those who feel they are animals in human bodies, as it were." "You know those ears we wear at pep rallies?" Dash grinned, getting in Sunset's face. "They help us get in touch with our inner animal! Once the whole school started wearing them, they all got into the fandom! That's why everyone's going!" Sunset sighed. "I suppose I should ask what your inner animal is, Rarity." "Oh, you mean Opalescence?" Rarity's face lit up, and she placed a hand to her chest. "Thank you for asking, dear! She's a four-armed, six-breasted belly-dancing cat-droid who owns and operates the galaxy's most lucrative silk-trading business!" "I yiffed her!" Pinkie shouted. Sunset's face was starting to develop a hand-shaped bruise. "You girls realize you're talking to someone who's literally a pony in a human body, right?" "Oh, we do!" Fluttershy rushed over and embraced her lightly. "That's why we know you'll have a great time. We've even talked to the con chair, and she's going to give you a chance to talk to everyone about your time as a pony." With a sinking sense of dread, Sunset looked to her friends. Gone were the earlier signs of embarrassment or hesitance. Five pairs of eyes looked up at her with the purest of hope. She cringed. "Tell me again why you didn't give me a straight answer when I asked the first time?" "Uh." Rainbow rubbed the back of her neck. "Well, see, the fandom's kind of got one of those, whadda you call 'em? Astigmatisms?" "You mean it's stigmatized," Sunset said with a flat look. "Oh yes," Fluttershy said, nodding softly. "Outsiders tend to think we don't care about anything but sex." Sunset frowned. "I wonder why that might be..." A voice from behind them shouted, "Sex? Who's having sex? The Great and Powerful Trixie demands to be invited to your furpile!" They looked up to see a livid blue face glowering at them from one of the half-open bus windows. "Come back to bed, snugglebear," said a sleepy posh voice from inside the bus, and a grey arm wrapped around Trixie's chest, pulling her back inside. Lurid giggling and jazz music wafted out the window until a bare grey foot slid it shut. Sunset hefted her backpack over her shoulder. "Yeah, I'm outie. Text me when you get back." Grumbling, she headed back to the school, leaving five looks of confusion in her wake.