First Real Battle (a.k.a. Derpy Hooves the Soldier)
"Are you sure this script is right?"
"Of course I'm sure."
Derpy Hooves was talking with Tasic about the next interview video. This time, unlike Chronicle's, she has a skit where she'll be drilling a line of 'recruits'.
"The script doesn't sound right even for me, and that's saying something.", said the pegasus.
"Trust me, it's good.", assured Tasic. "I even got muffins." Derpy seemed to perk up upon hearing that. "Do it like in the script and you can eat them, okay?"
"Okay."
EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2
It's been two days since the EqU Team has been assembled and have had their first training battle at Dustbowl. Around this time, they have managed to learn how to use their weapons (and gadgets in the case of Applejack and Rarity) and use them effectively. Now, next to learn was strategy. They were doing a training mission in an area called Granary when RED suddenly attacked. Tasic and his crew were caught off guard as they were trying to keep EqU a secret for the time being.
In any case, the training mission was supposed to be a Capture mission, just like back at Dustbowl. EqU was the attacking team while RED simulations were the defending team. But the real deal then came, took out Thenam's system creating the simulations, and drove the EqU Team back. It was a frightening experience for EqU as they heard their war cries and trash talk as they retreated. While the Respawn system was working wonders, it could never cure them of those sociopathic words.
Still, they had to retaliate. This was what they've been training for two days to do. Granted, they still weren't experienced enough yet, but given the situation they were in, what was supposed to be another test battle has become their first real fight. This has become—as Jothicu calls it—a "moment of truth".
EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2
The RED Pyro had just finished torching Applejack and Rarity until they were 'sent away' to the limbo room for recovery.
The Pyro had no idea why they didn't burn to death and leave crispy pony bodies, but he didn't mind that as he then thrust his weapon in the air and laughed triumphantly. It proved to be too soon to celebrate as a rocket from Derpy flew towards him and blasted him into pieces.
Over on another side of the field, the RED Demoman was drinking a bottle of rum. From her current position, Derpy aimed again (in spite of her eye condition) and fired, blowing up the Demoman.
She then looked down a hill to see a RED Heavy doing a taunt towards an injured Pinkie Pie. As he then made a "finger gun" expression and aimed it at Pinkie, she spontaneously disappeared in a flash of light; she had been 'sent away'.
Derpy immediately fired yet another rocket and body parts flew through the air one more time.
"Nice work, Derpy.", a voice came; It was Tasic's. He was communicating through the 'cards' the EqU team wore. "Didn't think they'd be using taunts to kill.", he then muttered. "I should remind Thenam to implement that in future simulations."
"Huh?" Derpy was confused.
"Never mind. Proceed to the next area." And with that, the grey pegasus was on her way.
(A/N: There's an alternation between two 'lines', just like in the "Meet the Soldier" video.)
EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2
Sometime after the battle with RED…
The skit was being performed. Derpy in her Soldier gear was now facing the 'recruits' that were lined up. She looked rather serious and her eyes looked straight for the moment.
"Ready? Aaand…Action!" With a clapperboard on hand, Tasic slammed its clapstick and the take began.
"'If fighting is sure to result in victory, then you must fight!'", Derpy said as she paced to the right, saying it just like they rehearsed it. She then turned to the 'recruits'. "Sun Talon said that." She then positioned herself in an upright position with her wings as she then lay a hoof on a 'recruit's' helmet. "And I'd say he knows a little more about fighting than you do, squirt, because he invented it." She then put her hoof off the helmet and got down on all fours again as she then paced to the left. "And then he perfected it so that no living pony, griffon, zebra, or whatever could best him in the ring of honor."
EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2
At another area of Granary, Derpy was screaming with bravado, just like Rainbow Dash sometimes does. As she then charged forward, she encountered a RED Demoman shooting grenades at her, but she dodged them.
She then took him down with her shotgun as the launched grenades exploded behind her. As she switched to her rocket launcher, she heard Spike's voice, but she couldn't see him.
"To the left!", she heard him say. Around the same time, she felt some sharp things hit her at the helmet, the shovel on her back, and her rump. Derpy turned counterclockwise to see the RED Medic firing his "syringe gun".
"Wheat worms!", she spouted out randomly as she fired a rocket right at the Medic, who immediately burst into pieces.
As she continued running and reloading, Spike joined her on the right, catching up thanks to his skates, which enabled him to move as fast as the ponies.
"Let's move it!" To Derpy's left, Twilight Sparkle joined up with them, switching from her sniper rifle to her submachinegun. As they then entered a wide open field, Chronicle joined in.
"Go, go, go!", he cried out as the four charged into the battlefield ahead. Said battlefield had brown dry soil, and some equally dry tall grass. Behind some wooden panels that served as cover was Rainbow Dash, who was moderately injured. There was a shed to the left of the cover and there was a large pipeline connecting it to another building ahead, in which the REDs were attacking. These attackers consisted of a Scout, an Engineer and his (Level 2) Sentry Gun, a Sniper, a Soldier close to their control point, a Heavy, a (recently respawned) Medic, and a Demoman.
Chronicle stopped and opened fire, taking down the Soldier in spite of his distance, although he failed to dodge the rocket he managed to launch before dying.
Before it hit, the unicorn called out "Medic!", then was hit by the rocket and he reeled back for a second as he turned his minigun on the RED Medic. Two seconds later, as he tore him down, he felt the healing energy of Fluttershy's Medigun revitalize him.
However, he then felt a severe pain on the head—and he was suddenly at the limbo room; he had been headshot by the RED Sniper.
Back at the field, as Spike and Derpy ran towards Rainbow Dash, Twilight was getting Fluttershy (who then patched up Derpy) to do the same, assuring her that Chronicle is at the limbo room and will be back, although that meant he won't be able to help take the last control point for the next half-minute. And victory was so close…
EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2
Relax-O-Vision
Derpy used a little contraption some metallic devices on her front hooves that acted like hands (Lyra would probably do anything to get her hooves on those). With these, she held up two dud Demoman's grenades.
"Then, he used the bits he earned to buy two of every possible pet on the planet. And then he herded them onto a boat…" She demonstrated by using the grenades, moving them in a walking motion. "…and then he beat the snot out of every single one." She then banged the two grenades together repeatedly.
EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2
End Relax-O-Vision
Behind the cover the remainder of EqU were, Rainbow Dash was being healed up by Fluttershy as the former took down the Scout that sneaked up on them.
Right after Chronicle was 'sent away', the Heavy had retreated to the control point, now accompanied by the RED Pyro.
"Sentry ahead!", Rainbow warned Derpy, who continued to run toward the Sentry and its Engineer. Luckily, the former was out of ammo and the latter was shooting at Derpy with his pistol. The grey pegasus evaded the best she could and jumped over the two, aiming her rocket launcher down on them, and fired. The rocket destroyed both the Engineer and his Sentry and gave Derpy a little boost, not that she needed it as she could fly.
She landed on the pipeline and began to run across it. Below, the RED Sniper had managed to 'send away' Rarity, Applejack, and Pinkie Pie as they came from where they went in and into his sights before Twilight took him and the Demoman down with her sniper rifle, then had to take cover again as the RED Heavy continued to fire at their location. It would take a few seconds before their other teammates could come and help.
Chronicle still had quite a ways to go to get back to their current position, even with the Teleporters Applejack built thanks to her Engineer gear. While both of them know the teleportation spell, they weren't completely used to the area, and it might mess up with the 'cards' that provide them their gear (and protect them from death by way of the Respawn system). As of this moment, it was up to Derpy now.
Luckily, she was able to deliver as she made it to where the Heavy and Pyro were. She jumped, aimed her rocket launcher downward, and fired again, killing them both.
Derpy landed a second afterward, but no timer went off for the capturing to begin. She switched her rocket launcher with her shovel, which she then held with her mouth, and then jumped back…slamming her butt into a decloaking RED Spy that was about to backstab her.
The Spy dropped to the ground on his back, and then Derpy got up and swung her shovel at his head, taking him down and killing him.
Around six seconds later, Tasic's voice echoed through the speakers in the area.
“Victory!”, he whooped. Immediately, any remaining REDs in the area began to run about in shame, leaving the remainder of EqU Team confused as on what to do. Just at that moment, the EqUs that had been 'sent away' earlier managed to arrive.
"Aww!", complained Pinkie as she took off her mask. "We're late to the party!"
"I think we won.", said Applejack.
"But why are they running around like that?", Rarity wondered.
"It's called Humiliation.", explained Tasic through the speakers as Rainbow Dash decided to have some fun on one of the REDs that nearly 'sent her away' earlier. "They do this after a loss. The only way for us to completely reclaim this area is to take them all down. The control point capture is for them to no longer put up any resistance."
"Hold on. Do you mean we have to…"
"They'll respawn like always. Just not here."
EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2
Derpy's eyes spun about for a second before she spoke again. "And from that day forth anytime a bunch of animals are together in one place it's called a zoo!", she finished. As it turned out, the 'recruits' were actually nine jumbo-sized blueberry muffins perched on a table, all with RED Soldier helmets and paper masks from Rarity's Disguise Kit, and a camera propped up behind them. One of the muffins, the one with the Medic mask on it, then fell of the table for some reason. As scripted, Derpy bent down to it and added, "Unless it's a farm! Or Fluttershy's cottage."
"Cut!", declared Tasic. "Nice work, Derpy. You can have the muffins now."
"Yay!" With that, Derpy tapped somewhere on her clothes and, in a flash of light, she no longer wore her Soldier gear. She gently removed the mask the muffin had, then began to munch on the delicious pastry. The mask was then covered in a blue aura as it floated into the air. In a shimmer, Rarity in her Spy gear appeared. She then proceeded to 'take' the other masks and pack them back in her Disguise Kit, then looked into the mirror in it that replaced the cigarettes. Nopony smoked, and nopony was about to start.
"Thanks for lending me the masks, Rarity."
"You're most welcome, Tasic.", the white unicorn answered as she 'stored' the masks, put the Kit back in her saddlebag, then tapped somewhere on her suit and she reverted to her regular appearance. "However, I can't help but wonder how these masks work."
"Another time. We had a long day, especially after our bout with RED. Training resumes tomorrow. And hopefully, we won't have to fight with them again or BLU anytime soon."
EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2
And that's it for now.
"What the hay was that? How did the Heavy take out Pinkie Pie with a finger gun?"
It's the Showdown Taunt. It can insta-kill if aimed right.
"Okay. What's with using 'send away' as a euphemism for the death of one of us yet not doing so for the REDs and BLUs?"
It's because of their Respawn system; they don't die per se and get sent to the limbo room instead. I think the Respawn system of the REDs and BLUs create new bodies and implant them with the memories of their replacement prior seconds before death and a couple seconds after.
"What of this…Sun Talon?"
I didn't think there'd be a pony version of Sun Tzu, the author of a book titled The Art of War, a military strategy book, so I settled for something that would sound appropriate for a griffon. And I don't think war would be something widely known to ponies, considering…you know… Besides, Sun Hoofz is too ponified a name, and it has already been taken in another story. And for the masks, I'll explain how they work in another chapter. See ya on Third!