The Afternoon Before
Sin exited the train, his eyes immediately dodging left and right to the legions and legions of royal guards who littered the streets around him. Such security detail put the Federalist on edge, slightly reminiscent of a nightmare had only a few nights ago. Hundreds, there were litterally hundreds of black, grey, brown and white stallions in golden and silver armor all over the city. Each had their eyes darting from place to place, causing the stallion no small amount of discomfort from their typically straight forward, stoic gaze.
Though, that wasn't the worst of it. he'd seen it on the train ride up, but couldn't make heads or tails of it. A large, impossibly large pink spell bubble had engulfed the entire city and part of the mountain side, it had to have a two mile radius at least. It was an incredible display of magic that he didn't think possible. Yet here he was looking at it. It was almost overwhelming to think about the amount of mana and the uncountable legion of unicorns necessary to power such a feat.
His astonishment was farther tested when Uppity had casually informed him that it was all the work of a single pony stallion. Shining Armor. Sin may not have liked the stallion, but he had to give credit where credit was due, and this was definitely incredible.
"And he's still walking around, seeing to his Captainly duties, too." Uppity declared as she waltzed through the crowd. Sin made a mental note to stop giving the captain such a hard time next he saw him, provided the good unicorn didn't instigate it of course. He was curious, and a little unnerved, about the reason for such security measures. Unfortunately, all Uppity could tell him was the most ambiguous statement in the history of ambiguous statements. There was an unknown threat made against the wedding.
'Yea, because calling an army of guards and creating a massive magical shield is what happens when un-specified threats are made.' Then again, Equestria was a relatively peaceful place, maybe this was how they dealt with threats of terrorism? 'You mean to tell me that this place is so peaceful that an unknown danger that might not even exist had spooked Celestia enough for her to commit to all of this? But she wouldn't call in so much as a special task force to prepare for the return of her sister as Nightmare Moon even though she knew about it?'
... And once again, the solar goddess's competence in ruler-ship was called into question.
As they walked, Sin heard the orange unicorn talking about some such, but couldn't really make her out over the throng of ponies they were surrounded by. Despite the fact most of them were pretty well muted compared to how loudly they should have been, he could only hear mumbles and syllables from her.
Surprisingly, Uppity wasn't leading up the path to Canterlot Castle, but towards another district beside the business and markets. He followed her, ignoring her constant attempt to make conversation and just trying not to bump into anyone. It got really annoying constantly having to say "excuse me" and "sorry" to every single passer by, but he liked being polite, always less trouble when he was.
The two were just about to a very tall building of pure white and gold when Uppity's attention was grabbed and she stopped where she stood. Sin was about to ask her what she saw but the purple maned unicorn simply began walking to the right to a large crowd of stagnant ponies huddled around a wall. As he drew closer, he noticed that a trio of ponies were standing in front of a... painting of some kind. Between the crowd and the trio stood five police ponies, each holding some red caution tape around the strange painting.
'The fuck is that?'
No clue.
'Wait, didn't Uppity say something about a problem prosecuting a guy for this? Hold up, is that him?'
Well, her to be exact. The mare in the middle was posing for a multitude of cameras, each pose giving attention to the painting. Something seemed eerily familiar about the mare, but the Federalist couldn't quite put his hoof on it.
He turned to ask Uppity about it, but stopped upon seeing the look on her face. It was stern grimace, her eyes hard and cold, not full of disdain and hatred, but eyes of contempt, like looking at something that shouldn't be happening. He felt a small part of his mind telling him to wait before asking, but he was far too curious to stop now.
"Uppity, what's going on? You alright?"
The unicorn shook her head and turned to him. "That's the mare I've been trying to prosecute for the past month. She's been defaming public and private property with her graffiti for the past six weeks. She's been arguing on the grounds of freedom of expression, but well, just look at what she did." She pointed to the eye sore. "It'll cost hundreds of bits to get that off!."
Sin quirked a brow and eyed the painting for a moment. It was a different style he'd never seen before. Words were elongated unnecessarily to the point they were unreadable. He thought he saw a couple of figures standing over something, but couldn't quite make out what they were, if they were even anything at all. All he could really tell was that it was a blue, black, and red mess.
The two stayed and stared for a good few minutes before Sin pushed the mare to continue moving. It wasn't so much that he was growing uncomfortable with the ponies around him, but that the longer they stood watching, the more irritable and tense Uppity became. For some reason, he wasn't very fond of seeing her upset, not like that anyway.
Eventually the orange pony sighed and pulled herself away from the display, but she was still visibly upset by the ordeal. Sin found the mare's passion in the matter intriguing and made a note to speak to her about it after they'd found a quiet place to chat. "You alright?"
"Yea, I'm fine." She replied, pressing her head into the crook of his neck and giving a nuzzle. "Didn't realize you cared though."
Sin's eyes narrowed from beneath his goggles. As uncomfortable as he was with the display, it did make him happy to see her smile again.
The two continued walking, and the stallion gave one last look behind them. The crowd was still there, making a scene out of something he wasn't completely sure of, but he did notice one thing that caught his attention. A unicorn, one of the two stallions who was standing besides the graffiti artist, had pushed past the crowed and was staring at them. The aqua pony's eyes were hard but vacant, they locked onto Sin's and refused to leave contact.
Sin turned a corner, feeling more than a little unsettled by the encounter.
"Sinny!?" The Federalist froze in place and gasped.
That voice? It... no, no it couldn't have been. Here in Equestria? No, it was impossible!
He heard his name called again and turned his head, his stomach dropped and his heart galloped over a mile a minute to the disgustingly familiar face he'd seen.
There was no mistaking the large, flubbing, waddling pile of a pony that approached him. Her well styled blond mane being the only thing of grace for her, the rest of the mare was an assortment of rolls, bulges and curves in all the wrong place, held together in a slightly dingy alabaster coat. Her girth, to its credit, did make her an excellent battering ram for pushing past other ponies, though.
'NO! NO! NO! NO! You CANNOT be serious right now! How the flying unadulterated fuck did she get here!?'
"Lady Fatchitaz?" He asked to no one in particular. The figure shouted his name again, sending familiar feelings of dull claws scratching at his stomach, yep, it was her. He broke himself from his stupor, grabbed Uppity's foreleg and dragged her through the crowd as fast as his limp would allow. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!"
He heard the mare begin protesting, but he also felt his legs and hooves beginning to grow sore, both could wait. Pain beyond either of them would befall him should that blubbering buffoon catch up.
"Sin! Stop, what's going on? Who is that pony?" Uppity asked, as she was pulled through a very slow moving group, earning a few reprimanding remarks from them.
"Explain later, move now!" The Federalist shot back, turning a corner. His heart was galloping a mile a minute now as he searched for a spot to hide until the menace had passed. He saw a few shops, but they were all packed to brim, there was no way the two could hide out there. As he ran, he found more and more of the buildings were in much the same condition as the first. There were so many ponies here, were they all seriously going to attend the wedding?
The thought was irrelevant, he needed a place to hide. Finally, he saw a booth sitting infront of an alleyway and did a quick check to make sure the Lady wouldn't see them run behind it and follow.
Sin placed his back to the underside of the cart with Uppity beside him, he didn't know how long they'd have to sit here, but a good ten minutes should suffice. The DA began to speak, but Sin placed his hoof firmly over her mouth, believing that her words would attract unwanted attention despite the roaring crowd outside.
There the two waited, and waited. He didn't know how much time had passed, had to have been at least ten minutes by now, right?
'Why is she here?'
How am I supposed to know? I've done everything short of kicking puppies to avoid that fat tub of flub.
'Equestria, of all the places you'd run into her.'
Yea, that was a close one. Maybe she was invited to the wedding?
'Yea, because, wouldn't you want her at your wedding?'
Fair point, but I'm just- what the hell?
A soft, wet feeling permeated over Sin's frog, he looked over to see... Uppity licking his hoof? What?
"Eww, Sin, you need to change your bandages." The mare blanched, pushing his leg away.
Absolutely thunderstruck, Sin could do nothing other than stare at his companion. She just licked his hoof in between the bandages. She just licked his hoof. Why? Why did she just lick his hoof?!
Uppity rolled her eyes. "I've been trying to push it away for the past ten minutes! When my brother used to do that to me, licking his hoof always made him stop."
She had a brother? Well, that was something new to talk about, still though... She licked his fucking hoof!
'Don't get all indignant, you've done a lot worse to your brother when you were younger.'
Some things weren't supposed to be remembered...
Having had enough waiting, Uppity stood up from under the cart and looked around, she gave the clear and Sin slowly joined her, looking around cautiously before slowly exiting the alleyway. Uppity lead the way once again, the Federalist continually looking back and forth for any sign of his predator. Something very bad was going to happen at the wedding, he didn't know what but he knew it was, but with Lady Fatchitaz in the vicinity, he knew it was going to be a catastrophe of epic proportions.
It was an interesting experience, being in Canterlot without going straight to the Castle.
Most of the city had the same rustic and massive aesthetics as the castle did, but miniaturized. The Hotel entrance was a massive display of sophistication and grandiose warmth that rivaled that of the Centenarian Palace. Gold and white being the primary colors for the walls and marble floors, with small trimmings of trees and other soothing images that were quaint, but still somehow lavish.
The room in which Sin sat was much more inviting though. The ceiling wasn't as high, the crimson covered bed was much bigger than what he'd usually seen. Two dark oak wood dressers splayed on the side wall beside a pair of golden drapes that framed the window to the outside with a desk on the front wall of the same color.
The stallion speculated that the room must have cost quite a bit. Not royalty worthy, but much to extravagant for his taste or liking. However, Uppity had already paid for it out of her own pocket, demanding the stallion not make waste of her generosity by using it for the night. Much to Sin's chagrin, of course.
"Thank you for the room, but was it really necessary to go this... big, with it?"
Uppity blushed and cleared her throat. "I wanted your stay up here to be enjoyable. I know you don't like coming to Canterlot, or other ponies, or the government, or big corporations... Is there anything you do like?"
"Peace and quiet?" Sin smirked. It was only a half joke though, peace and quiet were the most beloved of things to Sin. Giving him a playful shove, the DA shook her head before having a realization.
"Oh yea, so who was that mare from before? The ummm-"
"Fat ass one with a voice that sounds like nails on a chalk board?" Sin finished with a shiver. It wasn't something he ever wanted to talk about, ever. The Fatchitaz organization was a banking group, with Lord Fatchitaz sitting at the head; pampas ass that he was giving himself the name "Lord".
"Yea, was she an ex-marefriend or something."
There were honest mistakes, there were insults, and then there were honest mistakes that some wondered were declarations of war. Sin didn't speak, he didn't even move for a moment as the absurdity of the inquiry was initially rejected from his conscious mind. He and... he and... No words, all the stallion could do was give Uppity the look. The look specially dedicated for questions so unbelievably ridiculous there was just no words.
"I'll just take that as a no." Uppity grinned sheepishly.
'She's this close, this close to going on the list.'
Sin explained who Lady Fatchitaz was, her looks were only part of her problem. She was a clutz, no not the cute kinda clutz who you felt sorry for because you know she's trying and well meaning. The kinda clutz who could be considered a weapon of mass destruction! The kind you gave as a gift of the worst insult.
While her nickname in North New Equine was Lady Fatass, her reputation in outlying states was far more foreboding. The Lady of War's Hand.
Most would realize that such a being's place was no where near important parties or meetings. Yet her father continuously sent her as his representative, allowed her to spend his money and do whatever she wanted. And everyone and their mother put up with the walking walrus for the sole sake of keeping in the good graces of Lord Fatchitaz. Even Sin's father, Gemini, had remained pleasant with the mare, despite the fact she'd managed to, single hoofedly, turn the grand opening of the Unitas Triple M. head quarters into a literal circus. How she got it in her head that was a good idea, Sin would never know.
However, despite the clowns rubbing balloons together, countless monkeys running amock, and flaming hoop in the middle of the building's foyer, Gemini had somehow managed to remain pleasant with the filly at the time. Sin and Malich, on the other hand, were six ways of ready to throttle the cow for such an embarrassment.
"Oh come on, that didn't happen. You're just exaggerating." Uppity dismissed with a wave of her hoof. She had absolutely no idea.
"Oh? You think that huh? Tell you what, I'll make you a bet. If Fatchitaz shows up to the wedding, something absolutely catastrophic will happen. No, I'm not talking about a small accident, I'm talking big. Something that will stop the whole wedding in it's tracks. There will be screaming, crying, and running before the groom kisses the bride." Sin stated with absolute confidence. He knew this game, things were going to burn before she was done and he wanted to show Uppity just how wrong she was.
Nodding, the mare agreed to the terms, stating her stake. "If I win, and there's no running, yelling and crying because of an unexpected event, than you have to stay in Canterlot with me for a week."
That was an odd thing to request, but Sin saw the term as one he could live with. "Fine, and if I win, you have to... ummm." Wait, what would he want from her? Uppity made the suggestion of another week of peace and quiet, but Sin declined. He had kinda grown to like having her around. "Hmmm, what do you have that I want? What do you have that I want?" He asked himself.
That's when an idea hit him. It was childish, immature and all around wrong, but he was going to do it anyways. "You have to sign every letter to Celestia calling her Madam Sun Butt."
The look of horror and disbelief upon the orange unicorn's face was absolutely priceless. He was just waiting for her eyes to bulge out of their sockets. He'd take the blame, of course; what better revenge was there against Celestia for using his honor about agreements against him than to corrupt her student against her?
Seeing he was serious, Uppity immediately declined, voicing her displeasure at the bet. Sin felt a little disappointed, how funny would that have been though?
'Dude, I seriously think you need some counseling.'
Oh whatever, that was funny and you know it.
His plans for comedy refused, Sin contemplated another stake that would make him laugh, but not be near as cruel. Then it hit him that what Uppity suggested really wasn't all that bad, he dare say he might enjoy his time in Canterlot. Maybe something they both would like was a better gamble?
The he thought about the comedy of the next thing that came to mind and grinned an evil smile. "If I win, you have to spend a full hour with Lady Fatchitaz. Full 60 minutes in her presence." Uppity looked a little apprehensive, but considered the term for a moment.
"A- Alright, deal."
Sin held out his bandage covered hoof and Uppity gingerly shook it, having no idea just what hell she was in for. "Great, now that that's over. I have to ask, who was that mare from before?"