You've Got to be Foaly Kitty Me: Should Equestria Be Home?

by Josh Crapo


August 19, 2015 (Josh)(Daytime)

Princess Luna told me that someone may be available that can send me home. That must be Twilight. She knows practically every spell in the book. After gathering Wind Rust and Wiretap with Tail Flight right by my side the whole time, we are on our way to Ponyville, before dropping the three off at my house that is. As I arrive at Twilight's castle though, I see two fillies walking out of it. One with a pink coat and a tiara on top of her lavender mane with a streak of white in it and one, wearing a necklace and a pair of glasses, with a grey coat and a silver mane. I know just who they are.
"Silver Spoon! Look!!!"
"Who's he?"
"He's the newest Wonderbolt there is. Became one just this weekend."
"How do you know about him?"
"It was in the Foal Free Press. Those stories are juicier now than they ever were in Ponyville history."
"Oh, hey."
"Hi Josh!!!" Diamond Tiara waves to me as I do so to her and Silver Spoon.
"I guess I got some fame here in Ponyville. First, Isolate Mercy. Now, you? Thanks for the recognition."
"Any time Josh. I read on the Foal Free Press that you were a Wonderbolt."
"I sure am. I was just coming to Twilight's throne room to see if she's available."
Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon start to have a nervous smile. "Hate to break it to you, but Twilight was called to the south pole."
"What? So basically the only pony who can help me take a few ponies back to my world to restore their memories is nowhere near Equestria?!?" Diamond Tiara nods very nervously. "Ah! Fly!"
"Is there any pony else who can help you with going to your world?" I think for a bit. Trixie? Maybe. I could test this out. I should.
"Say, do you happen to know about a pony named Trixie?"
Silver Spoon seems to look disgusted at the mention. "Oh, you mean 'the great and powerful Trixie'?"
Suddenly, Diamond Tiara starts to talk in a different kind of voice, almost in a british-american hybrid accent. "'Oh, you think I should know the names of my enemies? I see how it is.'"
I do that same hybrid accent in response, not before realizing who I was impersonating. "'Oh, so with a cross of british and-' wait a minute I know who you were trying to do." I smile and point at Diamond Tiara for referencing such adult oriented animation.
I didn't think that what I said wouldn't stop Silver Spoon from doing that same accent too. "'Very clever Diamond Tiara.'" Silver Spoon proceeds to laugh. "Great, now you got me doing that."
I chuckle with Silver Spoon. "Okay. Is there anyone good at magic that you know of, here in Ponyville?"
"Not that I know of. Sorry Josh. Maybe the pony you're looking for doesn't have to come from Ponyville."
"Diamond Tiara. I think you might be right. I heard about a few others that are good at magic. I need to go get Spike."
"Okay. If you need us, we'll be at Sweet Apple Acres."
I speed inside and get to Spike's room, which Spike is in.
"Hey Josh. 'sup."
"I just need to get to Canterlot with Tail Flight, Wind Rust and Wiretap. Maybe you can join along."
"Oh. I can help you with that."


At Canterlot, Spike, Tail Flight, Wind Rust, Wiretap and I arrive at the train station as I take out my UCD. "Is there anyone in mind that is good at magic in Canterlot now that we arrived?" I ask Spike.
"Hmm... oh. Moon Dancer!"
Tail Flight, Wind Rust and Wiretap look confused. "Moon what?"
I look at the three, then back at Spike. "Moon Dancer. I think I know about her."
"She's a bookworm just like Twilight, although it's been almost a year since she's opened up back to friendship."
"I admit, I think it's going to be pretty easy to find her." I think back to an episode of Friendship is Magic where Moon Dancer opened up to friendship, before getting back on track. "Say. I wonder if Moon Dancer has researched the magic of cutie marks."
"Why, you want to learn more about them?"
"No Spike. It's just that I remember seeing a pipe as a cutie mark."
Tail Flight has something in her now. "Oh, as in plumbing?"
"No."
Spike tries to guess what I was referring to. "Does is have to do with a bubble pipe?"
"Well, yeah. The cutie mark is a bubble pipe." Well, there goes that. "Okay forget that. It's probably for the best I don't get injected with an IKC."
"Oh my gosh! Josh, is that-" I turn around and see none other than Moon Dancer right there. I wave hello.
"Hi. It's rather unexpected to notice me, but, I'm Josh."
"My, it IS you! I heard that you were selected by Spitfire herself to race, so I went to see the race, and there you were at the starting line, couldn't miss it!"
"Wow. First, Isolate Mercy, then Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, and now you?!? So, you were at the race, huh? No wonder I saw a tan figure at the edge of the bleachers during the race. Uh... Moon Dancer right?" She nods.
"I also heard that your father's in a band!"
"Really?"
"Yeah, though its name sounds similar to A Single Demographic."
"That's because my dad's band is named An Audience of One. And I've listened to a few songs from A Single Demographic, and they sound so much like something my dad would make. Say, I was coming to you because I needed to see if you knew any spells that take others to different worlds. I've got to arrive back home before Friday."
"Are you gonna be back here?"
"Of course I will." I pat Moon Dancer on the back, which she doesn't react kindly too. That's my cue to stop. I start to sweat almost as if I flew across Equestria and back a dozen times.
"Huh? When'd you start sweating there?"
I start to breath heavily pulling my shirt back and forth. "I don't know... It just happened... I haven't sweat... that heavily... since I last jogged... over to... a friend's house... from mine in... eight minutes." Suddenly, my sweat evaporates but I still breath heavily to a tingle in my chest.
"Oh, no! I hope you're alright!" Spike comes over to my leg and looks up.
"Ah. I'll be fine. So, Moon Dancer, do you know any spells that send me, Tail Flight, Wind Rust and Wiretap to the world I'm from?"
"Well, if you all come with me, I could probably look to see if there's a spell for that."


Well, there's Twilight's old library from the pilot episode of Friendship is Magic. I start sweating again as we arrive, but quickly disappears. "I know why I keep sweating, but I'm starting to wear out here."
"Just be patient. After we're all done with this, I'm sure we could bring you to see a doctor about this." Moon Dancer unlocks the door and opens it as everyone else enters.
"Ah, the great memories of when I was the assistant of a student." Spike spins around for a few seconds and drops to the floor. The rest of us go up the stairway up to the main platform.
"Okay, where's that spell book?" Moon Dancer levitates books back and forth on all of the shelves. Well, she would've if she didn't find it within about fifteen seconds. "Aha! Here it is. Spells, Summons and Sets of Sciences. Just what I needed." I start to chuckle a little, which Moon Dancer notices. "What's so funny?"
"Never mind, you probably won't get it."
"O-kay. Let's see what's in here." Moon Dancer looks in the table of contents and finds the subject matter she needs within seconds. "Ah! 'From swirling light to a lift off the ground, a body connected to the target will be under this as well. This swirl and lift will send the target home and all of those connected to it.' Okay. Here it goes."
Moon Dancer's horn glows as Tail Flight, Wind Rust and Wiretap wrap their hooves around my lower back, two of which does it with ease, since they're flying. Suddenly, I'm inching higher into the air without using my wings, which means the spell's working. I can't open my eyes much because of the brightness around me. Now, I can't open them at all. Suddenly I feel like I'm falling with the three ponies' hooves still wrapped around me until that split second. What I expect is to land on the floor of a tile. But the landing we have is somewhat soft.
"Ugh... what happened?!?" Tail Flight is the first to get up. "Is everypony alright?"
I just get up without opening my eyes. "Since when did the loft floor have an earthy- wait a minute. We're outside. Does this mean-?" I open my eyes. "Oh my gosh! Moon Dancer's spell worked! We're home!" I look around, cheering along the way. Everything is exactly the same as it was when I got home from LeMoyne. I fly up on the balcony and get inside my house with Tail Flight and Wind Rust, holding Wiretap by the hooves. "Hello?"
Tail Flight gallops ahead all across the apartment. "Whoa. This looks so much like it was when we left in July."
"Say, what time is it?" Wiretap walks into the living room.
Wind Rust flies up to the clock on the kitchen wall above the sink. "Uh... It's 12:07."
I chase Tail Flight around the apartment coming back to my computer, completely untouched since I left for Equestria. Even the Items I arranged are exactly how I left them. Mom didn't bother to notice this feather? Well, Tail Flight does, signified by her gasp. "My feather!"
I stop her. "I need to leave it the way it is. I'm going to leave tomorrow. I just need everything where it is right now before you do anything."
"Oh. Sorry." Tail Flight hangs her head in sadness.
I take her under my left wing now. "Hey. Don't take it wrong way. It's your feather. Here." I reach for the feather and give it to her, which she instantly takes and cuddles with it. It's so adorable, my heart detonates. Suddenly, I feel something uncomfortable in my wings. I stand up and fold my wings, which now sting. I think I know what's happening. They need to be preened. "Hey Tail Flight. Just wondering. Do you know anything about wing preening?" Tail Flight shakes her head.
"Maybe Wind Rust may know. He's much better at flying than me."
I try to get off the ground, but i only go mere inches. That'll have to do. That is until I land on the ground. I decide to do what I haven't done in so long. Walk down the stairs. I haven't walked like that for over a week. Suddenly, I start to sweat again. And just like that, it disappears again, leaving behind the heavy breathing I had last time it happened. Wait a minute. I wake up with the kind of headaches that is absolutely heavy. Tail Flight was floating. And I've been having these headaches ever since the night after comedy night. Could I levitate? I walk to the living room and test whether or not I could levitate something. The item I test my levitation with is the Mac mouse. And it works. "So that's why I was having those headaches. I can levitate now. Wind Rust?"
My attention turns to Wind Rust who comes into the living room from the kitchen. "Yeah?"
"I learned that I could levitate. I still could have trouble preening my wings though."
"Oh I could do that." I walk into the living room, lay down on my stomach and spread my wings for Wind Rust to clean. After feeling Wind Rust on my back, suddenly, it almost feels as though it's Rusty and not Wind Rust cleaning my wings. I almost fall asleep to the feeling of my wings getting preened. I get a couple of prickly startles out of Wind Rust preening my wings, but nothing bad.
"Let's hope that doesn't happen again." Wind Rust rubs his wings to mine, in which the feeling made my heart detonate again. It's as if a blanket was on my wing when I was trying to get to sleep. As soft as it felt, Wind Rust's left wing lift off my right. I get up and see if I could fly, which works.
"Hey, I have to get Wiretap over to Maine. I think I know what to do to get there too."
Wiretap walk over to the living room from the hall. "Hey, uh, what about me?"
"I'm going to take you home. You've missed the Burkes, right?" Wiretap nods now looking to his right, rubbing his right hoof and closing his eyes. "Well, if this works, I think you're in luck." I decide to test whether I could teleport or not, much like Rushing Fire did when I made Crazy Maze. My mind concentrates on what's upstairs, what I arranged. I close my eyes. Suddenly, I feel a slight sting in my eyes and loss of balance but I feel alright. That is until i hear some gasping downstairs, who sound like Wind Rust and Wiretap.
"Josh!!! Where'd you come from?!?"
I open my eyes. I'm upstairs. It worked. I can teleport. "Come down. I think you might find it amazing that I can do this." I fly downstairs with Tail Flight behind me. Tail Flight turns towards Wiretap as I levitate the UCD's I put down into my left pocket.
"Wiretap, I wish I could've told this earlier, but thanks for noticing what was wrong before Josh came to Equestria." Wiretap nods and rubs his cheek to Tail Flight's. "And Josh. Thanks for being there for me when I needed it most. I probably would've met Sydney and Sugar for the first time if my separation anxiety continued."
"Anytime little filly," I say. I proceed to stand on my knees and tuck Tail Flight under my wing again, to which Tail Flight responds with a tight hug. "I'll be right back." I get back up and close my eyes again.
With the sting to between the sideburns, I start to lose my balance again. I quickly regain it again though. Okay, is this going to be a thing? Me ending up outside whenever I get somewhere else without walking or flying? Regardless, when I open my eyes, I see that I'm at Cole's house. "There you go, Wiretap."
"Thanks Josh." I levitate the UCD's out of my pocket I put them in, giving one to Wiretap.
"Goodbye." I wave goodbye before imagining the front part of an uncle's house. I close my eyes, but I hear someone else calling. I open my eyes again.
"Who's out there?" The person calling gasps. "Josh?!? Is that you?!?" I turn around. It's Missy at the front door.
"Yes! It's me!"
"What's happened? How did you get those?"
"Get what?"
"Those things on your back. How did you get 'em?"
"Oh, my wings. I got them as a result of drinking one of Zecora's potions." Missy looks confused. "Zecora is a zebra from Equestria."
"Oh, Equestria. I know what you're talking about."
"I gotta go. I really would like to stay and see Cole, but Tail Flight's waiting."
"Bye."
I close my eyes again as I imagine the living room I was in prior to teleporting over at the Burkes' house. My eyes sting again for a split second, but I don't lose my balance at all. Opening my eyes again, I'm right back where I was as if I didn't even teleport. "Hey Josh! That was so cool! How could you teleport?!?"
"Perhaps it was me wearing that Wonderbolts costume. Remember how Rushing Fire had gotten inherited mind magic?" Tail Flight nods.
"Oh, I get it. So now, you can just use your hands as sign language?" I nod. Tail Flight hugs me in response to my nod.
"Our final night together will fall in in a few hours. Plus, you won't have just me to sleep with."
"Who?"
"Mom."
"Oh yeah."
"Plus, I'm going to sleep upstairs. So, you could also just sleep with me."
"Okay."