//------------------------------// // Instant Karma // Story: "You Can't Go Back, Michael." // by Mike the Red //------------------------------// Brenda's son came by the house to check up on his mother, only to find her gone before going through the house to see who was home. He met Xaviera downstairs watching TV with her daughters. "Hey, Xavi, where's Mama?" he asked as he paid scant attention to the TV. He searched the room for something, but not finding anything he wanted, he went into the kitchen and began looking through the fridge to find something to either eat or drink. Even though he doesn't live with us, he still seems to feel a sense of entitlement and commonly takes whatever he wants, regardless of whether he paid for it or not -- and when it comes to our refrigerator, he never paid for anything in it. "She went to the boat yesterday, but didn't come back," the girl replied before getting up to get something to drink herself. Her brother had already taken a can of soda out of the fridge and started drinking it. "So, where's Mike? I need him to take me to Decatur," he noted. He had friends in that town, though the activities they engaged in were of dubious legality, to put it charitably. "Mike's been gone for a couple of days -- I think he got turned into a pony or something," she answered. "So I guess he can't take you." "If he's not here, maybe I can take the car -- where's his keys?" he asked, a hopeful tone to his voice. He particularly enjoyed driving my car when he could, but I couldn't trust him to bring it back when he promised to. If I had known he was wanting to take my magically enhanced vehicle, I would have steadfastly refused his requests. "Brenda left them in her room upstairs," Xaviera replied matter-of-factly. "But there's something weird about that car." "Whatever, I need to get to Decatur -- got people waiting on me," he said as he tromped up the stairs and into his mother's room. He scanned the room and found the key fob and went outside, a big grin on his face. "Don't wait up on me," he said as he left the house, letting the front door slam behind him. He took a moment to examine the car, noting the unusual paint job, which caused him to snicker in amusement. He unlocked the car and sat in the driver's seat and put the key in the ignition and turned the car on. "Analyzing driver data," came the flat-sounding voice from the speakers. "What the fuck is this?" he asked rudely before turning on the radio to check for his favorite station. He adjusted the seat and steering wheel to his liking, but the car had other plans, returning them to their original position. "Driver data unconfirmed -- driver, please state your name," the voice announced, a hint of annoyance evident in the tone. "I ain't gotta do shit," he replied mirthfully as he cranked the car up and attempted to put it in reverse. The shift knob seemed to be bolted in place, though he tried as hard as he could to move it, his right foot firmly on the brake. He grunted in exertion as he tried to force the shifter into reverse. "Attempted thievery -- unauthorized use prohibited," the voice stated coldly as the car shut itself off. "What the fuck?!" he asked in disbelief. "What the fuck is this shit? I'm trying to get to Decatur! This is Mike's car -- he told me I could use it while he's gone," he said quite angrily. "Voice analysis complete -- 96.2 per cent match -- Marlon James -- checking files," the car stated in its flat monotone once again. Marlon tried turning the key in the ignition several times but the car refused to crank for him. During this time, the car's computer searched internet files to look for the unauthorized user and found matches in a criminal database. Surreptitiously, the seat belt fastened itself around the young man, strapping him into the seat. "I didn't do that," he said as he tried to remove the unwanted restraint. "Do what? File check complete -- criminal background check performed -- Marlon James, you have five outstanding warrants for your arrest," the car announced. The man's face went pale as the blood drained from it. The car sent a silent alert to the local law enforcement agencies as a magenta glow surrounded it as it prepared to teleport. "No! No! Let me out!" he shouted as he fought the restraints to no effect. "Proceeding to nearest police station," the car announced almost cheerfully before teleporting to the local county sheriff's office. The young man panicked for real now, but so strongly was he held fast by the seatbelt he could do nothing more then thrash about wildly. A moment later, three sheriff's deputies surrounded the car, their sidearms drawn. The driver's door was opened automatically by the car, then the restraint around the man removed. Once freed, the young man bolted but didn't get far as he was tackled to the ground by one deputy, then held down by the other two while the first one grabbed Marlon's left arm, placing handcuffs on him before reading him his Miranda Rights, then escorting him to the booking office. The car had already closed its doors and teleported back to the house before securing itself, arming the alarm and turning itself off. Taking a shower as a pony was quite different from doing so as a human -- and I needed a little help to make sure I was completely clean. Twilight helped me as much as she could, but when I asked her to join me or let me wash her in return, she giggled and called me a silly pony. I finished rinsing out the soap and started toweling off as she entered to take a shower herself. "Michael, please allow me some privacy," she stated above the flow of water. "Okay, Twilight," I acquiesced and exited the bathroom to finish drying off in the adjoining bedroom. I trotted over to the mirror to begin brushing my mane and tail, still not completely recognizing the pony's face staring back at me. "Looks like it's gonna take longer for me to acclimate myself to my new appearance," I stated aloud to myself, also observing the mouth movements of my reflection. I took a moment to examine my teeth, noting that I needed to brush them as well. I went back to the bed and sat on the edge of it, waiting for Twilight to finish showering. "Hey, Twi, how much longer ya gonna be? I need to brush my teeth," I noted loudly at the closed door. "Gimme a minute, Michael," she replied before brushing her teeth. I groaned audibly upon hearing the water in the sink running, the sounds of her toothbrush and gargling mouthwash causing a little annoyance. Presently she opened the door and grinned broadly at me. "All yours, Michael!" she chirruped. "Thanks," I muttered before calling back to her. "Is there a spare toothbrush?" The words weren't even out of my mouth but two seconds when a duplicate of her toothbrush magically appeared before me, then changed colors to match mine. "Here you go, Michael," she said from her room upon making a duplicate toothbrush for me. I raised my eyebrows in surprise at this feat before taking the purple toothbrush with my right forehoof and squeezing some toothpaste onto it with my left. I silently wondered just how flexible my hooves could be as I began brushing my teeth. Presently I finished and rinsed out my mouth, cupping my right forehoof to the water, amazed by my flexibility. "Are you finished, Michael?" she asked loudly as I rinsed out the toothbrush. I placed it on the sink and returned to her bedroom, noticing that she was sitting on the edge of her bed. Upon seeing my return, she smiled softly. "Yes, Twilight -- but what are we doing today? Since I'm stuck in Equestria now, perhaps you could show me around town and enlighten me about everything," I offered optimistically. The words had barely left my lips when a flash of light and a loud pop ushered in the arrival of a certain solar princess. "I hope you enjoyed your stay with Twilight, Michael," the alicorn noted warmly, her trademark smile not faltering in the slightest. "I believe you will be returning with me now." "Princess, please let him stay here with me!" the lavender unicorn pleaded as she sidled over to me and draped her right foreleg over my withers. "I had no idea he had such an impact on you," Celestia mused, her smile widening ever so slightly. "Very well then. Michael, treat my student with respect -- do not hurt her, for if you do -- I don't think I have to tell you what would happen." And with that admonishment, she teleported away leaving another puff of smoke in her wake. "What did you do for Brenda?" I asked, my words too late for the alicorn to hear them. I stamped a hoof in protest as the smoke dissipated, though Twilight tightened her hold on me a little before releasing me and returning to her previous position. "I don't think you should worry too much about it, Michael -- if the princess helped her, that should be enough to ease your concern about her -- and from what you were telling me about her earlier, I'm curious to know why you feel any compassion towards her at all." "It's just that -- we've been together for such a long time -- maybe I got too used to being around her or something -- I dunno, Twilight. I suppose I should stop worrying about her -- she's been so mean to me for so long, I've forgotten what it's like to feel love," I noted, a downbeat tone to my words adding to their gravity.