"Alright crusaders!" Applebloom announced "Now that we have our cutie marks, what do we call ourselves now?"
"What do you mean?" Scootaloo asked
"We have our cutie marks, we crusaded for them, and we have 'em, so what do we call ourselves?"
"...The crusaders?" Sweetie Belle suggested.
"The... cutie markers?" Scootaloo added
"Not Big Bag Beetleborgs!" Deadpool's voice yelled. Deadpool jumped & crashed through the window, laughing like Delirious.
"Oh great." Scootaloo commented to herself "You again?" Deadpool tackled all of them and held them in a group hug.
"You finally got your cutie marks!!! I am so proud of you three!!!" Manly tears fell from his face.
"Are you... crying?" Sweetie Belle asked
"Of course I'm crying!!! Real men express their emotions than hide it from their friends and family! And you three... you're just so adorable!" He hugged them tighter, making them squeak.
Hehehehehe, squeaking.
I just hope he can control himself around Shining Armor and Cadence's foal.
Deadpool dropped the crusaders.
"Holy s**t!" He yelled to himself "I gotta congratulate them!" He ran through the door, breaking it with his silhouette formed in the woods like a cartoon character. "Blame Obama!!!"
All the ponies in town scooted aside and watched in awkward silence as Deadpool rode on a small train with no track under it and seemed to bounce as it moved. Deadpool wore a conductor outfit while holding a sign reading 'hype train' and had a boombox laid in the train's caboose, playing the theme song for Thomas the Tank Engine with a twist. His song ended, and the train stopped.
"Ugh!" Deadpool grunted "How long until we get to the crystal Empire!?"
With the rate you've been going, I'd say at least... another 5 days, at best.
That's TOO long!!!
"We're taking the next train over there!" Deadpool got up and kicked the small train. Michael Bay. "YOU SUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!" Deal with it. Deadpool then landed on the swing set of the swing set, making him roll on the floor and slammed into the school's building. "...Ow! This is why I do things my own way." Oh shut up! The school door opened and out came a sad Diamond Tiara, followed by her mother, Spoiled Rich.
"What is that crying about!?" Spoiled rich snapped at her daughter. "You are not to cry like that! You are grounded and that's final!"
"But mom!" Diamond whined "I just want to go with the crusaders's clubhouse and offer them their own cutesinera."
"HOME!!! NOW!!!" Diamond cried and ran away. Deadpool, during this time, peeked around a corner and watched.
Wow. What a f***ing b***h.
She is, and that's saying a lot.
"Didn't we watch that episode?" Deadpool asked himself
We did, and we know Diamond wasn't the real bully, but her mom.
Sorta like Butters with his Grandma!
"Oh Hamburgers!" Deadpool pulled out- WHOAH!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?!?!? "I'm gonna off this b***h with my Sniper! This will be the headlines for MLG for years to come! Now hold still!"
That is... kinda dark.
We can't kill her!
Wait! Are... you with me on this?
Yeah! We've got to make her suffer!
A light bulb appeared above Deadpool's head, followed by him laughing evilly.
"Let's get the mask."
The next morning, at the Rich's home, the door knocked and Spoiled Rich answered. Some canterlot guards stood there.
"Spoiled Rich?" One of the guards asked. She swallowed and sweated.
"Y-Yes?" she replied
"Come with us. Your life may be in danger."
"Danger!? By who?" One of the guards handed her note.
Wassup Mofo's?
Just to tell you, I'm thinking of doing something fun with Spoiled Rich, one that may be a risk to her health but not mine, since I'm indestructable! Anyways, I don't to catch her off guard, since that wouldn't be funny enough, and I want to see if you guys can stop me before I catch her and perform the Goodbye horses dance scene from The silence of the lambs. Hope to fight you guys soon and hold a pony hostage,
Me! Deadpool!P.S. Avoid the ground and water, as I can't fly at all and the pegasi buck me off every time I try to ride them.
"Follow us," the guard spoke "We know a way to get away from him!" the guards lead Spoiled rich away from her house
"Why would Deadpool want me!?" she asked
"We're trying to find out as well, but from what we can tell, he may be bored."
"Just that!?"
"He's really strange that way." They entered one of the flying boats and began to fly away.
"We'll be heading to Saddle Arabia soon," another guard added "if we're lucky, he may not go that far."
"I'm not so sure about that," another guard replied "He's one of the most random and powerful things here! I saw him decapitate Tirek after toying with him, rubbing off what would kill anypony else!"
"You're not helping!" Spoiled Rich yelled "Oh, I just want to get out of here and live!"
"But what about your husband and daughter?" A British sounding but obstructed voice asked. Turning around, there were three humans, all of which wore sacks over their head and had their arms tied to their backs.
"... Who's that?" A guard asked
"And how did they get here?" Another asked
"It doesn't matter! Who spoke!?"
"Me!" the middle sack faced human replied.
"Who are you?"
"It doesn't matter who we are, what matters is my plan." The guard, looking questionably, walked to the middle and took the sack off. Some of the guards gasped as it was Deadpool, wearing the Dark Knight's bane mask over his mask. "No one cared who I was until I put on the mask... and had cancer... along with my epicness... aw s**t, I needed a lot of things to get recognized, now that I think about it."
Just like how we had to-
Don't. Ever. Repeat. THAT!!!
"If we pull that off," another guard spoke "will you die?"
"Hell nah!!! I got this from Hot Topic!"
"You're very strange."
"For ♫YOU!!!~♫." The two other stood up with Deadpool and did their best to do the annoying as hell dance to that 'Crank That' song from the longs past welcomed 'Soulja Boy'. As the ponies inside were distracted, outside and right above, a plane flew above them, as inside, piloting was Weasel, and preparing to jump out of the plane were the Lightspeed Rescue Rangers. Inside the flying boat, all the guards and Spoiled Rich stared blankly.
"Was... being here part of your plan?" she asked
"It came from Christopher Nolan." Deadpool answered
"Well why are are you after me!? Is there some sort of reason?"
"Of course! I wanted to kick your daughter like a football, turns out you're responsible for her actions, and I need to punish you."
"How!? You're tied up! What's the next step of your 'plan'!?" The Power Rangers jumped out of the plane and grabbed onto the side of the flying boat. The ones in the very back hooked the boat to the plane while the others in the front & middle prepared their weapons.
"Crashing this boat." The Power Rangers popped the balloon, making everypony fall to the front as the windows crashed and the power rangers fired at the guards. Rather than turning to ash or dying, they were instead teleported back to Canterlot, right in front of Luna as she was playing Star Wars Battlefront, only to die and lose.
"DEADPOOL!!!"
Deadpool laughed to himself, snapped the handcuffs he made, and grabbed Spoiled Rich from her tail. She screamed and tried to kick herself free. The back of the boat exploded, leading more air to enter. The Rangers entered and Strapped Deadpool in to some of the wires.
"Alright Rangers," Deadpool announced past the loud, blowing wind. "go back and wait for another season or something." They teleported away, leaving him and Spoiled Rich alone. She continued to squirm herself free. "Calm down, Missy! Now's not the time for fear; that comes later." He pulled a trigger out and pulled it. A loud bang was heard as the boat fell to the Everfree Forest below, missing them. She screamed even louder.
"What do you want!?" she screamed! "I'll do anything! ANYTHING!!! I got a lot of bits! You like money, right!?"
"I do, but this is more for you than for me."
"WHAT!? WHAT IS IT!?!?!? I'LL DO IT!!!"
After some negotiations, Diamond Tiara was not grounded anymore and was able to help the CMC throw their own cutesinera. Sitting to the side, shivering like a leaf, was Spoiled Rich, who was drinking some warm tea. Deadpool teleported next to her and sat down.
"That wasn't so hard, was it?" He asked. She stared into the open, not even saying anything but chattering her teeth out of fear.
I think we pushed it too far.
Hey, it was awesome though!
Deadpool quickly took a selfie with her. The radio turned to the song 'Goodbye horses'.
"That's our cue!" Deadpool got up and performed the dance that's now associated with it thanks to Buffalo Bill from the Silence of the Lambs and Jay from Jay & Silent Bob, though, since there were kids around, Deadpool kept his costume on and only put on a trench coat as a way to seduce all you ladies out there. "Damn straight!" LANGUAGE!!! "You ain't no Captain America!!!"
"This is great, ya'll!" Applebloom yelled "Ah can't until Hearts Warming Eve!" Deadpool froze and stared into the distance.
"...Christmas." he growled.
Uh oh! It's that time again!
We better do a Thanksgiving special first before celebrating that fat man!
