Saving Bob's Bacon
Techorse series: #29
By Spirals95
Business at Greasy Bob's was amazing during the lunch rush, almost every table in the eatery had been filled with hungry ponies, eager to order a meal that was most definitely not good for their health, but quite satisfying to taste nonetheless. Every wooden table, each one covered with brown paper to soak up spilled drinks, sauce, and fat drippings, sat 4, and they all shared a single box of coarse brown napkins and condiment bottles. The establishment was boxy in shape, wooden walls with thick, even boards running up to a seemingly low whitewashed ceiling, with multiple blue-colored ceiling fans each mounting 4 lights providing both illumination and cooling to the diner. The solid steel counter which led to the kitchen where workers fried and baked food for the customers was absolutely piled up with stacks of white order papers, each one filled out hastily by the nearly overtaxed waitress, Limpwing. She was working constantly, either refilling drinks, giving plates of food to their owners, or cleaning something as there was always a filthy mess to clean in a diner.
The owner of the establishment and her boss, Greasy Bob, stood next to a small wooden counter holding his cash register. He was a very overweight earth pony, white in color, with a black mane style slicked forward with tons of gel, resembling a certain rock legend's haircut. His tail was equally greased over, and his hooves were exposed underneath the coat on his legs in a ruffle cut. His cutie mark was a single blue spoon dripping with cooking oil. As the manager watched his tired pegasus waitress run around and serve customers, he was helping himself to a generous portion of the kitchen's onion rings and hay fries, along with a nice portobello mushroom patty burger with extra onion straws and barbeque sauce. To wash it all down, he had a comically oversized vanilla malt still in its tall metal stirring cup, topped with whipped cream. The corpulent pony took a large gulp from the straw sticking out of the container, as Limpwing approached him.
"Limpwing!" he grunted, shoving a hooful of fries into his mouth, "That customer's soda glass has sat empty for 5 minutes, what are you doing?"
"I am managing things as best as I can, thanks, but I wanted to remind you about that appointment with nurse Redheart today. It's in 10 minutes, right?" She said to him, trying to manage a smile despite the grease making her trademark flight goggles stick to her spiky mane, in addition to her boss's gruff comments.
Bob looked at a nearby clock and nearly choked on his food, "Crud, you're right. I'll be back, hold the fort down. And please, for once, keep the glasses full!"
Limpwing rolled her eyes, "I'll make sure of it. See you later."
The earth pony finished stuffing the fattening food down his throat, before rushing out the door of his restaurant. He entered the hot day in Ponyville, and started to sweat as he walked for the nurse's office, clearly out of shape. However, he really didn't seem to care about the fact that he was having trouble with a sunny day and managed to reach the office without scowling at passersby or even sweating out all the gel in his hair. Once he reached the office, he carefully opened the plain wooden door on the small turquoise medical office, and entered the warm and well-lit waiting room.
Nurse Redheart was waiting for him inside the doorway to her personal office, and motioned for Bob to come inside. The pony obeyed, and entered the doorway, taking his seat on the examination table covered in white sanitary paper. A few medical charts of pony anatomy hung on the wall, as well as a few brown cabinets. Redheart pushed back her pink hair with a hoof, and then went to work taking Bob's temperature and checking his reflexes.
Unfortunately for nurse Redheart and Bob, that seemed to be the only part of the examination that went well.
"Step on the scale please," asked Redheart politely.
When Bob complied, the sliding metal measurement tool on the doctor's scale crashed down sharply with a loud thwack. Nurse Redheart adjusted the weights to what she believed Bob's weight would be, and to her dismay, that was still far too light. She ended up having to push the weights on the scale further and further, before coming to Bob's actual weight, which she wrote down on a piece of paper with a quill pen. Greasy Bob, of course, thought absolutely nothing about weight, it was "just a number" to him.
The nurse then got Bob off the scale, and took his blood pressure reading with a small black piece of tubing and cloth. The number on that device was equally appalling to the nurse, and she tried her hardest not to frown as she wrote down the number.
After all of the startling tests of Bob's health had concluded, she walked over to her medical records, and started to piece together the information she gathered. Bob returned to the examination table, and sat down on his hind legs.
"So nurse," he asked confidently, "guess everything's ok, huh? You didn't say anything."
Nurse Redheart finished her calculations, and her face sunk into despair.
She looked up at Bob, and said to him with concern, "Well, Greasy Bob, I do have a question."
"Go ahead," he scoffed, tearing a small bit of the sanitary paper he was sitting on with a front hoof.
The faded-pink haired mare walked over to a nearby stack of medical charts on the west side wall of her office, and asked, "Do you have any foals of your own?"
"Nah, not really interested in that," he answered, clicking his tongue, "probably couldn't stand all the yelling and screaming before the tykes grow up."
The nurse then turned around and said to him plainly,"If that's the case, I have absolutely no idea who is going to be getting your restaurant. If you don't change around your health habits soon and lose weight, Bob, you won't be around for more than another 10 years."
At these words, the corpulent manager's ears drooped slightly, and worry shot through his previously haughty look.
"Wh… what? He stammered, shocked at the news.
She nodded in response and pointed at a diagram. It was a very detailed cross-section of a coronary artery, with nauseating amounts of yellow fat and cholesterol built up on the walls.
"If you can't change your lifestyle, Bob, plaque will build up on the inside of your heart's arteries, like in this picture. Which means eventually..." She warned, pointing at the disturbing picture.
"But, nurse!" protested Bob, horror plastered on his pudgy face, "You can't possibly mean that! I mean, I'm not even that old…"
"Even if you aren't that old yet, Bob, there's lots of places in Equestria which would not be safe for an overweight pony. Some of the creatures out there might see somepony like you as an easy target for a meal," she warned, which sadly only served to make Bob more anxious, "you could be out for a walk, and not notice the shadow behind you…"
"Wait a minute, wait a minute!" begged the earth pony as he stuck out a hoof, "There's gotta be somethin' I can do! I can't be a goner yet nurse, I just can't! There's gotta be some kind of a potion out there the unicorns have cooked up that can cure this!"
The nurse shook her head in response, "There's no pill, potion, or spell out there that's a safe replacement for healthy living. If your health is going to change, you're going to have to do it the hard way just like everypony else Bob. I'm not saying this to be mean to you, I'm saying this because I care about my patients and don't want to see you self-destructing with some miracle cure."
The depressed manager slipped off of the ice-cold examination table, trembling in fear. If he didn't lose weight and clean up his innards soon, he'd never get to enjoy a long life. But the idea of giving up all the stuff he liked in order to lose weight was equally depressing. In his mind, the choice was to live a long miserable life, or a short happier one. It was of course rather illogical for him to think this way, but there isn't much room for thinking and logic in a desperate pony's mind.
"I… need to get back to my restaurant," he said shakily, "I'll think over what you said."
She issued one final statement to him, "Just take care of yourself, please? Maybe you should try the fitness center located two blocks away from my office. Their first session is free."
He said nothing in return, ignoring her statement completely as he wandered out of her office, eyes wide with fear and panic. He certainly wasn't going to go to some fitness club!
The walk back to his diner was not a prideful one like the walk to the nurse's office. His worry and anxiety showed clearly on his face as he slowly moved on the cobblestone streets. Other ponies in town gave him a worried look of pity, others tried to ask him how he was doing, but got no reply from the pony lost in his own morbid thoughts. When he finally made it back to his diner, he took a look at it from outside again. It was a rather interesting wooden building, being just one story tall, and stuck out a bit from the colonial homes in Ponyville. A single metal sign shaped like a gigantic spoon hung on the front of the green wooden door, marked with his title, "Greasy Bob's Diner." Bob wondered if his building would be torn down after he was gone, since he didn't have anyone to give it to, and it was unlikely to sell unless there happened to be an enterprising pony who wanted to take over the business. His life's work was going to be lost, to his own medical conditions.
Bob ran a hoof through his now-messy hair and re-entered his establishment, to find that most of the lunch rush had finished and gone home. The cash register drawer was having a bit of trouble keeping shut with the number of larger denomination bits jamming the locking mechanism. The money might have normally played to Bob's sense of greed and pride, but not even seeing his business's success could cheer him up. The diner was empty now, except for a few customers enjoying an afternoon cup of tea and coffee alongside the daily newspaper.
However, one table seated Applejack, Rarity, and Twilight Sparkle, who were enjoying some strawberry milkshakes in tall icy glasses, each one topped with a generous helping of fresh whipped cream. To be polite, and possibly to keep Rarity from fussing, Applejack had removed her Stetson hat and placed it on one of the nearby hat racks provided. Limpwing was talking to them as Bob slumped around to his chair by the cash register.
"So, what are your plans for this week guys?" asked the blue pegasus.
"I happened to get an order for a dress needed for a stage production," boasted Rarity with a flick of her hair, "the lead in 'Flowers of Tomorrow' will be wearing it, and I've been given free tickets for the three of us to go see."
"Hah, that's really cool," smiled Limpwing, "wish I had time to go to the theater."
"Come on, Limpwing," suggested Twilight, "we know you're Prince Darkmatter's lieutenant, so why are you still working as a waitress? You could probably keep that one job in The Domain and have plenty of time to go see the show with us."
Limpwing rolled her eyes, "Prince Darkmatter got a little carried away putting me in charge of the entire country. Obviously one mare can't run the entire show, so I turned over control to our parliament and some of my fellow officers. Plus, being a waitress isn't about the money, it's about keeping a pulse on Ponyville and getting to see everyone. I'd be bored cooped up in that boiling hot castle of Darkmatter's."
"I'd say you're makin' the right choice!" laughed Applejack, "But maybe you could consider goin' part time? Two jobs really is a lot of work, and I know what bein' worked that hard is like."
"I guess I could think about taking a short break to go see that play," winked Limwping.
A loud sound of flesh hitting wooden table was heard, and the waitress turned around, flapping her damaged wing out of surprise. She saw her manager had collapsed onto his desk at the front of the restaurant, and was staring out unhappily into space.
"Uh oh, the boss is having a moment," she said, looking back at Twilight, "I'd better go see what's wrong."
"Go ahead," said Twilight before taking a large swallow from her milkshake glass.
Limpwing walked over to her boss, pushing her spiky hair out of her eyes, greasy from all the hay fries she had been serving that noontime.
"What's wrong Bob?" she asked, leaning on his desk, "Let me guess, you got a bunch of shots and it hurts like crazy."
He looked up at her and said, "No Limpwing, it's actually worse."
"What could be worse than so many needles?" gasped Rarity, eavesdropping, "I even shudder at the thought of just one!"
She put a leg on her forehead dramatically as Bob continued, "Limpwing, Nurse Redheart says that I'm in very bad shape."
"Also the sky is blue," said Limpwing sarcastically, "doesn't she say that every time you've gone?"
"Well this time, it looks like I've really gotten myself in trouble," he said, lifting his head from the desk, "if I don't lose enough weight, in a few years, I'll be gone…"
"How awful!" commented Rarity, before faking a faint onto the floor.
Applejack rolled her eyes in disgust, and Twilight looked at Rarity on the floor with a slight expression that betrayed her thoughts that Rarity wasn't helping.
Bob continued, "But trying to lose all this weight's going to be miserable. There's no way I'm going to enjoy trying to lose every last pound, I'm going to starve."
Limpwing put all four hooves back on the floor of the restaurant and said with a shrug, "You're not doomed, you know. If you took off a couple of pounds, you'll be fine."
Twilight left her table and walked over to join them, "Limpwing's right, Bob. You don't have to go completely crazy trying to lose weight. You just have to make a couple of adjustments."
Applejack put her hat back on and added from across the room, "Like some more exercise!"
Rarity popped her head up from her resting place on the floor, "A few diet changes too!"
The other two mares walked over, and Bob realized that he was now surrounded by his employee's friends.
"So it won't do me in?" he asked.
"You'll be fine!" said Twilight with a positive attitude about her, "We'll help you out."
"Really?" he asked, perking up, "You'd do that?"
"Of course! That's what friends do," confirmed Twilight, "the girls and I will help you come up with a decent lifestyle. Right after we pay our tabs."
"What tabs?" asked Bob, smirking.
"Free milkshakes?" cheered Applejack.
"It's the least I can do," said Bob, standing up from the table, "now where should we start?"
Rarity pushed forward past Applejack, "I believe the greatest way for you to regain your health is a smart change in diet. I'd love to help you change your diet, deary. Let's go back to my home and get started."
"All right, sounds great, and I am kind of hungry," he said, having no idea what he was getting himself into.
"Then afterwords, we could head over to my farm to work on your new exercise routine," added Applejack.
The two friends got Bob to walk with them out the door, leaving Twilight and Limpwing alone in the diner. They looked at each other with worried expressions.
"Uh oh," said Twilight, frowning, "Rarity giving diet tips? She's not a nutritionist."
"Applejack exercises way above average, too," laughed Limpwing, "we'd better follow them, Twilight, Bob is in for it now, and I am NOT going to miss this."
"All right. Let's close up the diner and head over to the Carousel Boutique," she said, swishing her tail, "if we hurry, maybe we can make it there before Rarity completely tortures your poor boss."
Limpwing snickered at the thought as she went over to the tables to clean up the dishes and ask the loitering customers to plan on leaving.
Greasy Bob stood in Rarity's kitchen alongside Applejack, where the three were trying to come up with a meal plan that would aid in reducing his body mass index with speed. Unfortunately, this meant a crash diet, which was surprisingly easy to accomplish despite the rather plant-heavy diet most Equestrians ate.
"There are many delicious foods in Equestria," said Rarity, "staying healthy is quite easy, you see, when you pick the right ones."
"I just don't see what's wrong with hay fries," grunted Bob, looking at the selection of vegetables in the cookbook Rarity had placed on the counter, "it's hay. Folks have been eating hay for ages without being heavy."
"Bob, frying food loads it with fat!" explained Rarity, "It's not that hay is bad for you, it's actually quite good for your body, but those awful deep fryers make them simply atrocious for your waistline!"
Rarity's horn glowed as she picked up a head of lettuce with her magic, and started pulling crisp leaves off of the produce. She dropped the plucked vegetable matter into a nearby bowl, and started adding pre-sliced pieces of carrots and cucumber to it.
"There's nothing quite like a good salad to keep you healthy," she said, mixing the vegetables and placing it in front of Bob.
"Rarity you're nuts!" criticized Applejack, "There's no way Bob can be happy just eatin' salad!"
"Where's the protein in this thing?" asked Bob as he took a bite of salad, "Or the flavor?"
"See what ah mean miss pretty pretty?" joked Applejack, pointing at Bob's disgusted look at the bitter taste of the lettuce and spinach mix, "He's much better off losing weight through some good old fashioned hard work!"
Greasy Bob perked up as he spat the lettuce into a garbage can, grossing out Rarity, who recoiled.
"So I can eat what I want?" he asked happily, hoping to get back to his mushroom burgers and fries as soon as possible.
Applejack nodded, "Of course, Bob. You exercise enough, and you can eat whatever you want. Take my brother Big Macintosh. He needs to eat a huge breakfast to make it through the day's work. I'm thinkin' you'll be much happier working hard and eating all that food you like."
"Then let's go," he stated, running out of the kitchen to get away from the 'evil' salad as fast as possible, "show me some farm work."
Applejack took the moment to give Rarity a look of victory, which only served to make her angry and feel as if she had wasted her time. Despite this, she chose to follow them out the door anyways.
Meanwhile, Twilight and Limpwing had been watching them through Rarity's kitchen window. They were standing in a bush outside of her home, and discussed what they just saw.
"Oh wow, did you see Bob's face when he tried that salad?" asked Limpwing, laughing hard, "He looked like he was going to be sick!"
"Limpwing, I can't believe you're enjoying this!" said Twilight in horror, "Bob is worried about his future, and you're having fun with him?"
Limpwing explained, "Twilight, Bob's a complete grouch at work. If you had to put up with that every day, you'd want to see something funny happen to him, too. I really do want to see him get healthy, but there's nothing wrong with enjoying the process."
Twilight sighed, "I guess. But before we follow them to Sweet Apple Acres, I'd like to stop by the library for a bit."
"Sure thing, maybe I'll find something to check out while we're at it," mused Limpwing.
While Twilight and Limpwing searched the library for a book that was likely to help prevent Greasy Bob from suffering from further torment at the hooves of the feuding Rarity and Applejack, the three had already brought the manager to Sweet Apple Acres, where Applejack had put him to work carrying buckets of water from metal water pump near the barn to help care for her trees. Bob's hair laid flat due to his sweat lapping away the hair gel that kept his poor hairdo in place, but he continued to haul the water to the trees without complaining. After giving a red delicious sapling a much-needed drink and relief from the hot summer sun, he returned to where Applejack was laying down some extra mulch from a tin wheelbarrow, hoping to keep the weeds away from a prized tree. Her little sister Apple Bloom sat underneath the shade of a fluffy yellow parasol that Rarity had set up to provide herself with some extra shade.
"So, why are we having the diner owner working for us again big sister?" she asked of Applejack, "Are we just tryin' to get out of chores?"
Applejack nearly turned red, but answered, "Maybe a little bit, but ahm only teachin' Bob how to lift some weights so he can take care of himself. He wanted to help water the trees."
"Why?" continued the inquisitive young mare.
"Greasy Bob was told by the nurse that if he didn't lose weight and take care of himself, he might run into a little trouble!" she said, trying to explain it with a positive attitude.
Of course, Apple Bloom took one look at Bob's state of health and ran off with the conclusion, "Oh, so ya mean he's gonna keel over?"
She then held a hoof to where her heart was in front of her sternum, and made gasping noises before collapsing onto the ground sideways and sticking her four legs out, while at the same time making her eyes go in funny directions. Rarity closed her eyes and laughed softly at the scene. Greasy Bob looked like he was about to burst into tears, either from the joke, or the fact that the exercise he was going through was putting his out-of-shape body in a lot of physical pain.
"Apple Bloom!" shouted a very upset older sister, "You apologize! Bob is not gonna keel over. We're gonna get him into shape!"
Apple Bloom sat up and started laughing, "Aw, I didn't mean nothing Mr. Bob. You'll be fine."
Unfortunately, no sooner had she said that, did his legs give out from the excessive weight of the water buckets balanced precariously on his back, and he fell to the ground. Although the buckets had fortunately stayed upright, the carrying yoke had pinned him to the ground. Applejack gasped and quickly turned around, kicking the buckets off of Bob with a mighty buck, which sent the device careening and splashing the water all over Apple Bloom and Rarity.
"Hey!" they shouted, now soaked, their manes dripping wet from the splash.
"Are you ok, Bob?" asked Applejack, leaning down.
The white-coated pony stood up slowly on his four legs, and said softly, "It's not that bad. I guess. I don't think I can handle that exercise though, or that kind of dieting Rarity suggested."
"Well there's gotta be somethin' better!" protested Applejack, "Ya can't give up now!"
"Let's face it," he moped, "I've just got to make the best use of the time I've got left."
"Oh, you simply can't do this to yourself!" cried Rarity, moving out from under the parasol, "We can't allow it."
He simply pushed past the unicorn pony and her soggy mane and said, "I'm going home now, thanks for trying."
In his way, finally, was Apple Bloom, who gave him the largest puppy-dog eyes he had ever seen.
"Are you sure you don't want to try one more time?" she begged.
Not even the puppy-dog eyes had worked, it seemed. Bob simply pushed his way past her and went past the whitewashed gates of the farm to head back to town. Despite the sunny day, he hung his head, and it seemed that a dark cloud of despair was following his slow, deliberate steps.
Rarity and Applejack immediately looked at each other with contempt.
Rarity opened up first and rammed her front right hoof into Applejack's front, "This is all your doing, trying to break his back with physical labor. How dare you!"
Applejack pushed the offending leg away and grunted, "And you were tryin' to starve him to death! Don't be blaming me for everything!"
Poor Apple Bloom was left in the middle trying to decide what to do, she had no idea who was right or wrong. All she knew was that she didn't like to see fighting, and still felt a little guilty about teasing Greasy Bob unfairly. She turned around as the fighting continued behind her, and she saw Limpwing and Twilight Sparkle approaching the farm.
"Uh oh," said Twilight as she entered through the gate with Limpwing at her side, "what happened?"
"Greasy Bob got hurt lifting weights," explained Apple Bloom sadly, "and I teased him too much. Now he's gone and left, hopeless."
Limpwing sighed, "Well, can't say I didn't see this coming. Twilight and I went and got a book that might have helped if Applejack and Rarity had just been a little more patient with us. Any idea where Bob went?"
"No, sorry," dhe answered honestly.
"You just can't stand doing any exercise!" shouted Applejack while stomping her hoof, "lazy!"
"Lazy!?" gasped Rarity, "I'll have you know I work quite hard at what I do!"
"Yeah, must be real hard work comin' up with them crash diets!" chortled Applejack sarcastically.
Twilight got fed up with her friends' bickering, and with a glow to her horn, lifted a book from her purple saddlebags. She dropped the book on the ground in front of Applejack and Rarity, somewhat against her wishes for the book, but it seemed necessary. The impact of the book on the ground startled the two fighting ponies into seeing what it was.
"Healthy Living? By Dr. Cleanheart?" asked Rarity, "Who is this?"
"A doctor," said Twilight, a bit annoyed, "you know, an expert in the study of the body? Dr. Cleanheart has studied nutrition and health for more than fifteen years, girls. I was going to have us all look over this book to get a bit of professional advice as to how we can help Bob."
"But we know how to take care of ourselves!" said Applejack, "We figured…"
Limpwing interrupted her, "Yeah, I know, both of you are healthy. But Applejack, you work hard on the farm all day long, and Rarity has a low metabolism and can eat that kind of a diet safely."
Rarity and Applejack stared at the book, wondering what they had actually managed to do wrong.
When it occurred to Rarity, she frowned and said, "I guess I never thought about it Limpwing, but… Bob probably does need far more calories than I do. I was only thinking about what worked for myself!"
Applejack nodded, "Of course, I do work a lot harder than most ponies. Probably should have started Greasy Bob on something much easier."
Twilight opened the book up and said softly, "Girls, I know that your lifestyles work well for you, and it doesn't mean that it's wrong to share your opinion when somepony wants to take care of themselves."
"We should have tried to figure out what was right for him though," admitted Applejack shamefully, her ears drooping, "I'm sorry about all this."
"I need to apologize too," admitted Rarity, "we should go find that manager and tell him."
"Then maybe, using this book," suggested Twilight, smiling as she levitated it back into her saddlebags, "we can come up with something that won't drive him crazy. What do you think, Limpwing?"
"I think that's a great plan," she said, giving a confident look, "of course, we do have to catch up to him first. I'll scout ahead."
She carried herself into the air by flapping her wings hard, rising in a stepwise fashion due to her damaged wing. The pegasus eventually reached a good altitude and let the currents of air take over a lot of the hard work of flying. Her friends followed below on the ground to see if they could find Bob and convince him to give another plan a try.
Bob had found a quiet place down a street away from the center of Ponyville, in hopes of not attracting too much attention to himself while still being able to watch a few ponies pass by. He was seated at a blue-painted bench on the side of the road, looking down at the ground with a miserable expression on his face. Not even the sun or the lovely scent of the variety of flowers growing in the window boxes on the homes near him could make him happy at this point. A deep sigh escaped him as he looked up at the cheerful, much healthier ponies enjoying a walk or a stop at a nearby stand for a piece of fruit to munch on. While they had the question of what snack to get on their minds, questions of what kind of a service he wanted flooded Bob's mind.
"Guess there's no point in moping here all day," he said to himself, getting up from the bench, "might as well go enjoy a walk in the town. I still have a few years, I ought to make them as enjoyable as possible."
He strolled down an alleyway, passing several small stores, and took in the fresh air as he tried to enjoy the simpler experiences of life. However, as he made his way past a small boulevard he hadn't been through frequently in the years he'd been in Ponyville, he noticed a strange building built in-between a small hobby shop and a print store. It was a strange, pink-roofed building, built flat and square in contrast to the two blue, angled roofed stores flanking it. The one floor building was made from what looked like a fancier, alabaster colored building material, and a single welcoming door made from stained glass, with a picture of a yellow-colored earth pony prancing about happily in a meadow. A few large clear glass windows lined the sides of the building, but were not visible from the front. Bob noticed the title of the building above the doorway, a set of silver colored letters attached to the door frame.
"Galloping Again Fitness Center," he read, scratching his double chin, "is this that fitness club Nurse Redheart was telling me about earlier?"
After taking a deep breath, he gently nudged opened the artistic door and walked into the lobby of the club. The vanilla-colored walls soothed entering patrons, and a few red cushioned chairs lined the walls, along with a small fountain in the center of the room that bubbled quietly to soothe the mind. A teal colored pegasus mare with a straightened, dark blue mane sat behind a desk, reading a green covered book about the history of rose gardening.
"Oh!" she said, putting down her book, "Welcome to the Galloping Again Fitness Center!"
"Yes, hello!" said Bob, clearing his throat and approaching the desk. He felt a little embarrassed as to how out of shape he was, in front of her.
They stared at each other rather awkwardly for a few seconds before Bob ran a hoof through his mane to try and recover from the lack of gel in it.
"Well, I'd like to know about that free session I've been told about," he coughed, "I learned about it from Nurse Readheart, Miss."
She answered him with a happy smile, "Oh, Nurse Redheart recommended us, how great! I'm Balance, by the way."
"I'm Greasy Bob, owner of the diner across town," he said, trying to smile, "hopefully I'm helping your business out a bit… you know with all the hay fries my customers down."
"We'd be a bit more concerned about your health at the moment," she answered, slightly scolding him for the bad joke.
"Right… Right," he stuttered.
His heart raced, knowing he was likely going to be put through even more terrible methods of trying to get him to lose weight.
Balance lightened up a bit, and her hair bobbed slightly as she did a little jump, "Well, let's get started with your free session! What is your fitness goal, Bob?"
He looked around the room as if he had no clue what he wanted, and then he returned his gray eyes to her blue ones, "I… need to be healthy. If I don't lose enough weight, well…"
"Oh don't worry too much," soothed the mare, "We can help you lose enough weight to be healthy! That's what we're here for. But remember, it's not about taking off the pounds, it's about figuring out a better way to live."
"Well it's just that today I've tried suggestions from many of my employee's friends, and they've gotten me hurt, or told me I have to starve to death to make it," he said, frustrated, "I'm just not sure what to do to lose weight without going crazy!"
She pointed to a silver door behind her, "Follow me to the kitchen and I'll show you something."
They passed through the door and entered a simple kitchen setup, with a few metal tables and a large central stove for cooking. A few ornamental red-colored cabinets hung around the walls of the room, and a large beige refrigerator held ingredients for the customers to use. Balance walked over to the main counter, and asked,
"So, what's your favorite thing to eat?"
"A fried vegetable sandwich with hay fries, and a milkshake," he answered, the exact same meal he had been eating earlier that day.
Balance nodded and went over to a nearby cabinet. Opening it up with a hoof, she grabbed a cookbook with her teeth, and walked back to the counter joyfully. She placed to book down in front of Bob, and turned to a page describing a nice lunch of a grilled Portobello mushroom, with mashed potatoes on the side.
"Maybe instead of that, you could try eating this meal. The mushroom is really good tasting without needing to be fried, and the mashed potatoes swap out well for the hay fries. You could also try boiled or roasted hay instead of the potatoes if you'd prefer that," she suggested, pointing to the mouth-watering picture of the food.
"Wait, so I don't have to eat salad?" asked Bob with great delight in his eyes, "That stuff looks like actual food!"
"Salads are good for ponies, but they don't have enough calories to keep you healthy by themselves. You need to eat a salad with something else," she answered, rolling her eyes, "so many ponies come in here thinking I'm going to tell them they have to eat salad all the time."
"Maybe I could eat a few raw veggies from time to time," he said, "I just don't like lettuce."
Balance continued discussing the topic with him, "That's fine. Now about that milkshake. Any chance you could have a glass of chocolate milk instead? It's far fewer calories"
"I can have a glass of chocolate milk?" he asked, about to cry out of joy, "I thought none of this stuff would ever be allowed."
"If you switch some of the foods you're eating with ones that still taste yummy but don't have so many calories, you can eat well and already be halfway to getting to a healthy weight goal," she said, "of course, you might want to think about some cereal and fruit for breakfast too if you're eating bagels or eggs now."
Greasy Bob was overjoyed, and thought of all the possible ways he could still eat things that qualified as food, without risking his health much further. He knew he wouldn't really miss absolutely everything, often he had been snacking out of boredom. Ideas for great meals went through his head.
"You'll still need an exercise plan too, so let's move on to the gym and get you started on something simple." She said, motioning for the door.
The gym turned out to be a large, open room well-lit by the windows on the side of the building. Several pieces of weightlifting equipment were in the center of the floor, and many simple looking treadmills lined the edges. The shiny, white-painted equipment drew Greasy Bob's attention, but he was still a little cautious about lifting weights after nearly suffering a hernia from Applejack's chores. A few ponies were working out with the weight equipment, but hardly any were on the treadmills. Balance led Bob over to one of these machines, and situated the earth pony on the solid black conveyer belt of the device.
"Do you think you could do one hour of exercise every day?" she asked him, "Just walking at a good pace on this treadmill? Or spending thirty minutes trying some of the weights? If you get a membership, either I or one of my staff members can help set up a routine for you."
"I think an hour of walking would be much better than getting my back thrown out," he laughed, "now how do I start this thing?"
Bob reached over and pushed a large red button on the console of the treadmill.
"NO, WAIT!" shouted Balance, but it was far too late.
The treadmill had been left on at max speed, and Greasy Bob was flung off of the device as the belt rotated, smashing him into the wall behind the machine. Balance covered her eyes with her wings, and peeked carefully just to make sure Bob hadn't broken through the wall. The manager was upside-down against the wall, and stared up with a hurt expression on his face.
"Ouch…" he whispered.
Using her right wing, the pegasus pony adjusted the treadmill to walking speed, then helped Bob climb back on. He was a little scared of getting thrown off again at first, but he soon got adjusted to the steady pace.
"You're going to start sweating after about fifteen minutes," instructed Balance, "but if you keep it up for an hour, you'll burn fat. Do this, and cut back your food as we talked about, and you'll lose about 2 pounds a week."
Bob smiled, and thanked Balance, "I really appreciate all of this, and I'm definitely buying a year-round membership! If I'm really losing 2 pounds a week, I could lose 100 pounds in a year!"
"Easy!" she said, laughing, "You aren't 100 pounds overweight, Bob, more like 40. 4 months, and you'll be able to exercise a little less and eat a little more to maintain a healthy weight for life."
"Even so, I'm going to be back. Thanks for everything, Balance!" he said, overjoyed.
"You're welcome. Just leave when you're finished here, and come back when you want to sign up," she said, before walking away.
Bob was enjoying his exercise, sweating and tired but knowing that he wouldn't come to any harm from him. After 10 minutes into the workout, a light gray earth pony mare with purple eyes, and a somewhat curly yellow mane entered the gym. She seemed rather overweight, but had a confident smile on her face. Immediately after entering the room she went over to the treadmills and took the one next to Bob.
"Good afternoon," she said, trying to be friendly as she started up the treadmill and matched his pace on it.
"Oh, hey," he answered, looking at her.
"Are you new here?" she asked, "I haven't seen you before."
He smiled, "I'm Greasy Bob, and yes, I'm new here."
"I'm Almond Butter," she replied, "I joined about two weeks ago, after the nurse told me that if I didn't lose weight…"
"Same here!" said Bob with surprise, "Did she also tell you about the monsters?"
"Yes!" she confirmed, looking worried, "I couldn't stand the thought of getting eaten up, so I came here hoping to set things straight. But I've already lost 3 pounds, so I'm confident that I can get to a better spot."
"Well, maybe we can come here every day and work out together!" suggested Bob, "We could keep track of how the other is doing."
"That sounds wonderful," she said in a soothing manner.
They ended up talking for so long about their careers, friends, and other life details that the timers ran out on the treadmills without them noticing and they ended up nearly walking through the control consoles. After laughing over their silly mistake, the two left the fitness center, and walked together to go find a place to grab a drink of water. While they were heading back and sharing stories, they ended up running into the search party of Limpwing and crew.
"Finally, we found you, boss," she said angrily, landing in front of them, "we've been looking for you for a good two hours now."
"Oh…" he said, embarrassed, "I sort of lost track of the time, Limpwing."
Twilight, Applejack, and Rarity caught up and saw Bob with his new acquaintance.
Twilight asked him, "Bob, where were you all this time?"
He answered, "I was at the fitness center downtown with Almond Butter here. From now on, I'll be going there to exercise. I'll also be cutting back a bit on what I eat, hopefully Limpwing will be glad to help me keep my hooves out of the snacks."
Limpwing smirked and knew something positive had happened to her manager that day.
Twilight smiled brightly, "That's great! I was just about to give you this book on healthy living, but it seems you've already figured it all out."
Almond spoke up, "Well, it helps that he'll have someone to help keep him on track."
"Hey, that goes for you too!" teased Greasy Bob right back.
Applejack stepped forward and apologized, "Look, Rarity and I are really sorry for tryin' to make you go for our lifestyles. We should have listened to Twilight and tried to work with ya from the start."
"That's quite right," added Rarity, "I'm glad that you've found a way to improve your health without feeling awful."
"Why don't we go back to the diner and see if I can come up with some new menu items?" suggested Bob, "I'm thinking maybe we could all have a nice yogurt for a treat tonight. Parfaits would make a great new menu item, and it's on the house for everypony here."
"Ooh, that sounds delicious!" said Rarity, eager for the treat.
Bob then looked at Limpwing and said, "Also, I've been working you way too hard Limpwing. I'm going to put up a help wanted sign and get another wait pony on the team. We can also discuss a decent raise later; after everypony else has gone home from our party."
"How kind!" beamed Rarity.
Limpwing's face brightened up at the thought of getting to keep her job without feeling exhausted every night.
"And of course," continued the manager, "I'll need somepony to make sure I make it back to that fitness center, even if I don't want to."
"I think I can help a bit with that, I sometimes set up shop over there," said Applejack.
"Great! Well in that case let's get back to the diner and celebrate," he laughed, "I feel alive again!"
He skipped forward in front of the friends and started a happy trot towards his shop. Almond Butter rushed to catch up to him, and the two ponies on their way to health kept pace with each other again, laughing.
"You know…" said Limpwing, trailing off in thought as she watched the two get far ahead.
"You know what, sugarcube?" asked Applejack.
Limpwing clicked her tongue, "Aw, never mind, let's go."
A majority of the group started to leave, only Twilight remained behind.
"Coming Twilight Sparkle?" asked Rarity, calling back.
"I'll be there soon, Rarity!" she answered.
After they were gone for a good distance, Twilight opened up her saddlebags again and took out a piece of parchment and a quill. She levitated the parchment in front of her with her magic and began to write.
"Dear Princess Celestia,
Today I learned that everypony should be healthy, but not everypony can be healthy in the same way. I watched as my friend's boss Greasy Bob struggled to be healthy the way his friends wanted him to be, and in the end, he decided that he had to take care of himself his own way. A unique, healthy balance is exactly what we all need.
Signed by your faithful student,
Twilight Sparkle"
The lavender mare then placed the writing materials back into her saddlebags, and galloped off to go find her friends. But from a nearby bush, a sneaky Limpwing had managed to loop back without being seen, and watched her write the letter.
"Typical Twilight," she said while shaking her head slowly, "Bob's going to flip when I tell him."
Once she was sure Twilight was gone, she flapped her wings sharply, and lifted into the air, making a path for the diner in her up-and down flight pattern enforced by her wing condition. A nice yogurt awaited her, but she clearly was more interested in what her boss's reaction would be when he found out from her later that he had been mentioned to Princess Celestia. She was happy that he was going to be taking care of himself from now on, but she couldn't resist taking a nice stab at him once in a while. He was her boss after all.