Drop and Give Me Twenty
by Present Perfect
The gym echoed with the sound of Sunset Shimmer's leather biker boots as she paced back and forth in front of her gathered friends. They were dressed in light t-shirts and short shorts, gazing at her with varied expressions. Determination was writ large on Rainbow's face. Rarity was internally cursing the horrible workout clothing she had been forced to wear. Fluttershy was having flashbacks to elementary school P.E. class breakdowns. Applejack was punctual. And Pinkie, it seemed, had passed out near the bleachers, though this hadn't been enough to absolve her from wearing the gym uniform.
"All right, ladies," Sunset barked, brandishing a clipboard like a sword, "listen up! If we're gonna beat those namby-pamby Crystal Preppers, we gotta be tough!"
After a moment of silence, her eye twitched, and she spun on her heel to glower at them.
"I saaaaaid, we gotta be tough!"
"Tough!" shouted Rainbow Dash.
"That's better." Sunset grinned. "We gotta be smart!"
"Smert!" Applejack said, waking up from her dazed stupor. Even standing, she tended to pass out any time Sunset used words with more than one syllable.
"We gotta be fast!"
"Why, I never!" said Rarity, disdainfully looking away. "On the first date, a lady must--"
"And we gotta be fierce!" Sunset bellowed into Fluttershy's face. Fluttershy wilted and decided to join Pinkie in Lie-on-the-Floor Land. It was a peaceful land, populated by a tribe of nomadic gatherers.
Sunset snorted, tapped her clipboard against her arm, and continue pacing.
"So, team, how are we gonna be all those things what I just said?"
"Awesome!" Rainbow Dash cried, leaping into the air, fist raised.
Sunset face-palmed. "That is not an acceptable answer to any question, Dash."
A meeting of elders was called in Lie-on-the-Floor Land to decide what to do about the sudden influx of giant women.
"We just gotta believe!" said Applejack. "Believe in ourselves, and believe in the us what believes in ourselves, and the--"
She shut up when Rarity's hand lodged in her mouth somehow.
"Good try, AJ," Sunset said, as one might to a small, not entirely intelligent puppy trying to play fetch without a stick. "But the real answer I was looking for was training. We are gonna work hard for the money! We won't hide anymore, we'll dance for our lives! We are gonna push and push till we hit the wall, then we'll break that wall down and keep on pushing into the danger zone! Are you with me, team?"
"Awesome!" Rainbow shouted again.
After a brief but brutal civil war, the Lie-on-the-Floor-ian rebels overthrew their oppressive rulers and appointed Fluttershy goddess-queen.
"All of you, drop and give me twenty!" Sunset ordered. "Then five laps around the gym." She blew the whistle hanging around her neck. "Go, go, go!"
"Uhh..." Applejack stood stiffly with her hand in the air.
Sunset sighed. "What is it, AJ?"
"Forgive me if'n Ah seem a mite ignorant, Coach Shimmer, but... twenty what, exactly?"
"Ooh, ooh!" Rainbow waved her hand, holding her arm aloft with her other hand. When Sunset rolled her eyes and pointed to her, she asked, far more excited than anyone should be, "Push-ups?"
"Sit-ups?" added Applejack, looking uncertain.
"Ugh," Rarity said with a shudder, "I hope it isn't chin-ups."
A slow smile spread across Sunset's face.
"Nope. Twenty pony-ups!"
Everyone groaned.
In Lie-on-the-Floor Land, the accidental heresy caused by stepping on a ladybug earned its inhabitants a divinely wrathful punishment. The fields were reduced to ashes as the tribespeople sent desperate pleas to a merciless goddess. None survived.
"But what about Fluttershy?" AJ complained.
"Yes," added Rarity, "and Pinkie Pie. She's..."
Pinkie's hand rose into the air to point at the ceiling. "Puh-resent!" She didn't move otherwise.
"Pinkie and I talked earlier," Sunset said. "She didn't know what twenty I wanted either, so she gave me twenty bucks. I decided I was willing to be bribed." Grinning, she polished her nails on the sleeve of her coat.
"Never ignore the combined promise of willful misunderstanding and economic influence!" Pinkie declared, still unmoving.
"Aw, c'mon!" Applejack pulled her hat, which had been a non-negotiable part of her workout uniform, down over her ears. "Ah ain't made o' money!"
"But I am!" Pinkie sat up suddenly, startling Fluttershy out of her coma and potentially saving her life. "I mean, I'm technically made of meat and bones and skin and stuff, but my parents are loaded! How else do you think I get all those cupcakes and party cannons?" She produced two cupcakes from her hair and ate them, wrapper and all.
"Any pertinent questions?" Sunset asked, raising her hands in supplication.
"Just one," Rarity said primly, "since bribery is an option." She tossed her hair and lidded her eyes. "How much?"
Sunset grinned seductively and strode towards Rarity, hips swaying. "It's usually thirty for fifteen minutes." She lifted Rarity's chin with a finger, gazing into her eyes. "But after that little stunt you pulled in the hallway? 'What we needed to defeat them was you'?" She shook her head and chuckled. "First night's free, baby."
She wrapped her arms around Rarity, kissing her deeply. The other girl giggled and pulled her down to the gym floor. Applejack and Rainbow Dash watched, mouths agape, as Sunset and Rarity sullied Lie-on-the-Floor Land with their filth.
"But it ain't nighttime yet," Applejack said, scratching her head.
"Why can't we ever do that?" Rainbow grumbled, crossing her arms.
"Yay, Wondercolts!" Fluttershy cheered tinily.
Pinkie ate another cupcake.
Principal Celestia, passing by outside, glanced into the gym momentarily, shook her head, took a long swig from her hip flask and kept walking.