//------------------------------// // 1. Pull the String // Story: Your Own Worst Enemy // by Distaff Pope //------------------------------//         My hoof traced idle circles as I stared at the ceiling fan. Spinning. Spinning. Around and around.         Where am I? My whole body felt heavy. Sinking deeper and deeper into the couch.         I was on a couch. Why was I on a couch?         Blinking. Something was wrong. I took a deep breath, and air filled my lungs. Inflating me bigger and bigger. Why didn’t I care?         Zen. That was it. Pills Bright Lights gave me. When she needed me to be quiet. To not bother her. Just stare at the ceiling and be… zen. But Bright Lights was gone, wasn’t she? Deeper and deeper. Left? My head lolled to the left. To the newspaper. The Secret Life of Equestria’s Rising Star, by Bright Lights         Her and the other one… Name? Whoosh of the fan tickling my fur. Rhymed with Bright. Right. Bright Lights left with Right. Right Thinking? Write Thinking? I grabbed a bottle of vodka with my magic and floated it over next to me. She’d killed me. Everypony was downstairs, waiting to publish the funeral. Sweetie Belle, seventeen, burned at the stake. The vodka burned down my throat. I guzzled it down. My magic flickered out and the bottle crashed down off my stomach and onto the carpet floor. Glug. Glug. Glug. Looked down at it.         Why? I did everything she’d wanted. Everything. I grabbed a pill bottle and shoved a hoofful down. The bottle floated back up. What was left washed down the pills. Breakfast was over. Was there food left? I hadn’t gone shopping since Bright Lights left, and that was... A week? A month? A year? I hadn’t left the apartment in a while. Had to be something I could eat. Bright Lights always said I shouldn’t take pills on an empty stomach. Bright Lights said a lot of things. Said she loved me. Said she wouldn’t leave. Said every secret of mine to Equestria. Three years. Maybe four? Four years of secrets and parties and games, all that she planned, everypony knew about.         How much longer until the funeral? I pushed myself off the couch. Heard a crunch below me. The vodka bottle. A second later, the pain of glass digging into my hoof registered. I whimpered and trotted to the bar at the kitchen. Nopony cares if you scream. Nopony cares.         “I promise I’ll never stop loving you,” Bright Lights said. We were back in her dorm. When did we get back here?         “Why did you do it?” I asked. Something in my hoof hurt. “How… How did I get here?”         She frowned at me and put her hoof to my forehead. “Are you alright, Sweetie? We came here after the Hearth’s Warming Pageant.” She pressed her burning lips against mine and I shivered. My fur was freezing. Everything was freezing. Everything but those lips. I cracked, pushed her away.         “No,” I said, staggering away from her kiss, lips still tingling. “This is…” My head struggled to stay up. “Not right, we were in our penthouse.”         Bright Lights laughed. “Don’t be dumb, Sweetie, we won’t go to the penthouse for six more months. You haven’t even starred in the play yet. You haven’t really started rehearsing yet, you’re just being your dumb useless self.”         “I’m not…” My words slurred together. In and out and in. I took another stagger towards her and winced. Red on the carpets. Didn’t the school clean stains up? “Not… useless.”         She rolled her eyes. Sitting next to me on the couch in our penthouse. A broken bottle slicked in red was between the couch and coffee table. “Sweetie, what have you accomplished without me? Before I found you, you were just some dumb filly from a nowhere town. I made you famous. Made you into everything you are.” She pinned me against the couch, heat rubbed against heat. I shivered. “Without me, you’re nothing.”         We twisted, I was on top now. Both of us pressed close close close. Nothing between us. “Obey me, and you’ll want for nothing, Sweetie. All I want is to give you what you want. It’s not too unreasonable to expect a little gratitude, is it?”         Her hoof stroked. I moaned.         “No,” I whimpered. Closer. Closer.         She smiled and kissed my lips, tongue slipping inside me.         ”Sweetie Belle.” My name, my ear, but not my voice. A Before voice.         I fell through Bright Lights and stared at the ceiling. Fan spinning round and round. Circles danced in my brain. Collapsed next to the couch. Red stained the carpet, sunk deep into the roots. Stained everything it touched. It bubbled and spread, eating up the whole apartment.         Glurp. Pop. Gulp.         Sinking deeper into the red. Deeper. Eyes looked up at the ceiling fan. Round and round. Red ran down my throat. I took a breath but all I could get was red. More and more red ran into me. I was filling with red. Gasping for breath. Drowning.         Sweetie Belle. Seventeen. Drowned by red.         I rolled over, and the red rushed out. Back onto the carpet.         What were those pills I’d taken? There wasn’t any joy here. Staggered up to look at the coffee table. I needed my joy. Grabbed another pill bottle and tried to read the squiggles on the bottle, but they kept shifting around under my eyes. Why was everything spinning around?         A whole army of pill bottles stretched before me, led by General Rum and Lieutenant Vodka. I needed my Joy. One of these pills was Joy. Two of each then. At least two Joy. To war, the army marched.         “You know,” Bright Lights said, one night, her hoof stroking my chest. We both stared at the ceiling, bodies covered in sweat. “There are more pills that can make you feel good. Pills that can make you feel like you can’t even believe. A whole new world of feelings are out there for  you.” She kissed my cheek. “Let me get some, just so you can try them out. What do you say?”         Of course I said yes. I always said yes to her. I couldn’t not say yes. “Sweetie, I have a new job for you, you need to stop your party and get to rehearsing, you’d die without me.” Yes. Yes. Yes. Always yes, never no.         ”Sweetie Belle…”         I woke up crying. That happened sometimes. When I slept too late, when my nighttime cocktail didn’t make it until morning. There used to be screaming, too, until Bright Lights got me Deep Sleep. A night without dreams, guaranteed. No more nightmares after that. No more dreams, either. Just sleep. Empty filling sleep. Better waking up yawning than crying. Bright Lights gave me Joy to keep me smiling. Where was my Joy? I’d lost it. Bright Lights couldn’t get me Joy anymore. Nopony could give it to me anymore. How much did I have left?         Looking through the medicine armoire. Five shelves filled five deep with bottles. Sweetie Belle’s Reserve. More troops to fight my war. Where was the Joy at? Enough to last tonight? I pulled the bottle off the shelf with my magic. Popped two to start the day right, chase it down with rum. When was Bright Lights coming back? I needed to apologize for upsetting her. It was my fault. Bad and useless. I’d die without her.         Sweetie Belle. Seventeen. Killed by loneliness.         Red stained the living room. Sunk into the carpet. I winced with each step, pain digging deeper and deeper. Finally made it to the door. I didn’t have anything to do today, Bright Lights would tell me if I did. She always told me what to do. Door swung open.          The Secret Life of Equestria’s Rising Star, by Bright Lights         The paper screamed at me, and I staggered back. Pain shooting into my brain, ripping from the base of my skull to the tip of the horn. The world swirled around me. World swirled. Round and round.         Vision clears, and it’s the dream that makes me take Deep Sleep. Scootaloo stared at me on the stage, Apple Bloom and Tiara with her. “Scootaloo, say something,” I sobbed. Please don’t go. I love you. Say the word and I’ll stay. Just… please. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.         A glare. “Why would I ever care about you after what you’ve done?”         “Yeah,” Apple Bloom says, turning her nose up at me. “You ain’t no friend of mine, Sweetie. You ain’t nothin’, now.”         Diamond Tiara sneered. “Why would anypony love you? You’re useless. The only good you do is what Bright Lights tells you.”         Scootaloo stomps towards me. “Get out of my life and go to Tartarus.” She shoves me back and I fall into the orchestra pit. Down and down and down. Deeper into the red. Staring up at my penthouse suite. Down, down. Below me, everypony’s snapping photos. Getting ready for the climax. A mare splats onto the asphalt like an overripe tomato. Headline news on every paper in Equestria.         Sweetie Belle. Seventeen. Dying to meet her public.         I screamed as my body splattered onto the couch. Red everywhere. I stared up at the ceiling fan. Round and round and round. Never stopping. On a carousel with my sister. Round and round and round. Everypony’s here. “I have to go,” Rarity says, next to me. I try to follow, but a brass bar is running through my stomach, up to the ceiling. Round and round, they all shuffle off as the carousel for one goes faster and faster. Won’t stop spinning as long as her heart’s beating.         Broken glass next to the couch cuts into my barrel. Where did that come from?         Rarity pushes the glass in deeper. “You know, you deserve this, right? After everything you’ve done. You hurt everypony who ever loved you. After everything I’ve done for you, you storm off. Treat my love like a piece of trash to be thrown away.” She rained punches down on me. Bam. Bam. Bam. Glass digging deeper.  “How does it feel, Sweetie? How does it feel knowing everypony in Equestria hates you? You were worried we wouldn’t like you if we knew who you were, and you were absolutely right.”         I sobbed under her punches. “You’re right, I’m sorry. What can I do to make it up to you?”         She pointed at the window of the penthouse. “You know what you have to do, Sweetie. There’s only one thing a pony as worthless as you can do.”         Tomato. Splat. Headline news. Just in time for the funeral.         Sweetie Belle. Seventeen. Sudden deceleration..         ”Sweetie Belle.”         A glimpse of starlight. Flying through the night sky by chariot, Bright Lights at my side. Always at my side. She’d never leave, until she did. Why was I crying?         “You made the right choice,” she said from our hotel room in Canterlot. “I’m sure Scootaloo would want you to do what’s best for you. She’ll understand when she sees how famous you are.” She floated a cup of water and a pill over to me.         “She hates me,” I sobbed. “And why shouldn’t she? I’m so useless and–” I winced. Why did my hoof hurt? Something was jabbing under my skin. “She’ll never forgive me.”         Bright Lights sighed. “So what? She’s nothing. What does she even matter, compared to the rest of Equestria? What’s her love against everypony’s adoration?”         My Joy dissolved in my mouth as I stared up at the ceiling fan. Round and round.         “The trial of Sweetie Belle vs. Friendship is about to start,” Judge Twilight Sparkle said, slamming down her gavel. Everypony got to their hooves. I winced at the weight on them. “How does the defendant plead?”         “Guilty, your honor,” I said in Bright Light’s voice. “I know how awful and terrible I am, and I throw myself at the mercy of this court.” Tears stung my eyes. “Just tell everypony how sorry I am, all I ever wanted was to be happy,” I said, this time with my own voice. “Are you happy?” Bright Lights asked as I trotted up into the penthouse. Around me, a hundred other Sweetie Belles moaned and squirmed. Eyes lingered on the one hanging from the ceiling-swing as we all took turns whipping her. Crack. Crack. Crack. I smiled at the whip. Never enough. She could always take more. Always deserved more. I felt it cut into my flesh and moaned with the rest of the mes. Another crack! Tension built up into me. I wanted to scream. Joy started to fill me. Too early now. I needed to wait until later. Wait until there was nothing but the whip and the joy, and then the floodgates could open. Crack! Crack! “Yes!” Bright Lights stared down at me, holding the whip. A kiss and the lash. A lash and the kiss. She’d keep going until I was raw all over and every nerve in my body sang. Something sharp cut into my hoof. “The first witness can take the stand now,” Judge Twilight Sparkle said from her bench in the apartment. A waiting audience of Sweeties surrounded us, all eyes focused on the pink mare walking down the aisle, careful to step over the red stains in the carpet. “I said I was guilty, so why are we doing this?” I asked. All four hooves were bound. They’d twisted me so everypony could see my plot and below. Felt their eyes linger. Weak, stupid, useless. Twilight slammed her gavel down and mirror rained down on all of us. “Because everypony needs to see what happens to bad, twisted, useless ponies like you. Any more questions?” Her magic grabbed my head and shook it. “We need to know ponies who reject friendship and harmony live in absolute agony. Bad ponies like you don’t get to be happy.” Her horn lit up again and slammed me against the window. Seven hundred feet below, hundreds of reporters waited to hear the verdict. Guilty! Guilty! Guilty! Sharpening their daggers downstairs, getting ready to cut up the guilty. Nothing worse than what she deserved. Melody trotted up to the stand. “When I first met Sweetie, she seemed so sweet and innocent.” She gestured to the ponies filling Miss Scratch’s music theory class. “I never would’ve guessed what a monster she was, but...” She sobbed. “Whenever we’d argue, she’d have Bright Lights hold me down, and she wouldn’t stop kissing until I agreed. Said she did it because she loved me.” I shook my head. Sweetie stood on the stand, angrily pointing a hoof at me. “She’s a monster and she needs to suffer.” “Would the defense like to cross-examine the witness?” Judge Twilight Sparkle asked. ”Sweetie Belle!” A blue alicorn appeared between me and Twilight, mane of starlight flowing behind her. “I finally found you. Sweetie, your mind is shifting all over the dreamscape, it’s very important you don’t–” The white mare in the mirror was covered in cuts. Dug in by a mare with a whip and a shattered bottle of vodka. Her pink and purple mane that hung over her shoulder was scraggled. Hadn’t been touched in days. If Rarity saw it, she’d kill her. She’d deserve it. Coat was covered in red. Sinking deeper. Her left foreleg was covered in red. Oozing it. Everything it touched got red too. Red. Red. Everywhere. How was she still alive without all that red? Blood. It’s called blood, Sweetie. Yes! Blood. She was covered in blood. Hers? Was it her red in the floors, or somepony else’s? Blood. Not red. It wouldn’t stop gushing out of her. Like a sad filly crying. Forming pools below her, hardening, turning black and caking off.  Turning into her suit of armor. A blood knight. I laughed. I couldn’t stop it. She took a dive off the penthouse. Tomato. Splat. Punchline. Everypony in Equestria would get to see what’s really inside her. More laughter. I hacked and wheezed. When was the last time I’d laughed? Too long. I used to laugh all the time, but not since I discovered the joy of Joy. I liked laughing. I wish I’d done more of it before the funeral. “It’s too late now,” Twilight said from behind me. She’d lost the judge’s outfit and was just regular Twilight. “But hey, do you want to come with me? After all, it’s your funeral.” Before I could nod, we were there. Back on stage. Canterlot Auditorium. The social event of the season. Death of a Sweetie Belle. Wait, I didn’t do non-musicals. Twilight leaned in close to me and whispered. “Sweetie, you’re supposed to be in the casket. A funeral’s no good if the deceased’s getting up and walking around on stage.” “Trust me,” Bright Lights said, from my other side. “For a part this simple, even you can play it without messing up.” “Sweetie Belle!” Luna was there again, flying in from the audience. “You need to stay calm and breathe. Whatever you do, don’t move. You’re straddling the border between dream and reality, and anything you do could–” Back in the penthouse. Blood stained the carpet and couch. I sat perfectly still, looking at my defeated army. All gone. None remain. Honorable deaths all around. Died in service of the greater good. The greater good. Somepony’d told me about that once. Had to compromise for the greater good. We all did. I didn’t though, and look what it’d gotten me. Everything I ever wanted. Going 9.8 per second per second. Going off the deep end with asphalt coming up to welcome us. Me. A rotten apple had once gotten impaled on my horn. Would I splatter like it? For the greater good. Luna swept low and caught me the second before I hit the ground. Oomph. Crashing into the Princess of the Night should hurt more than just oomph. An oomph is what happens when you fall from the couch to the floor. “Sweetie, you need to keep your mind focused. Every time you jump, I lose you again.” I lost her. The door to Carousel Boutique clicked shut. Sweetie Belle sprinted off into the distance. Sobs wracked my body. “See how much you hurt her?” Twilight asked, from behind me. “The day you left, she almost died. How could you hurt the one mare who loves you most in the world like that?” The Princess of Friendship sat behind the bench. Gavel slammed down. “There can be only one verdict for a mare as selfish as you.” “Wait a minute,” Scootaloo shouted from the gallery. “I think the ponies she hurt should get to read the verdict. We deserve it.” Twilight nodded. “Of course, how selfish of me.” She looked at me. “See, Sweetie, friends share. They sacrifice for each other. Scootaloo, what’s Sweetie Belle’s punishment?” Scootaloo’s face lit up. “Death’s too good for her. A lifetime of loneliness and misery. It’s the only thing a pony as useless as her deserves. She can’t even be happy on her own. She has to swallow a bottle of pills just to feel anything.” The court laughed. “Then let’s get her a bottle of loneliness,” Twilight said, pulling another bottle of pills out of her robe. “Take them all, Sweetie, it’s a lifetime’s supply, just for you.” Bright Lights kissed me on the cheek. Kissed me other places. “Just what you deserve.” We sat outside the audition office. A collar wrapped around my neck and a leash in her hooves. “See, this way everypony knows who the real power is. Everypony here will know that you’re my perfect little pet, just doing what I tell her. Stand, Sweetie.” I got to my hooves, and stared up at Bright Lights, happy smile on my face. “Good Sweetie,” Bright Lights said, patting me on the head. “Isn’t it so much easier just letting me do everything for you? I give you food, water, your little treats. Everything you could ever want, I supply, and all I ask is your total obedience. Now, get on your back.” I gave a quick nod before rolling over and wriggling on my back like a good Sweetie-puppy. The good part was coming up next. Bright Lights leaned down and kissed me, her lips lingering on me. I gave out a happy little squeal. “Good Sweetie. Now, you’re going to go in there, read your lines, and we’ll throw one of those parties you love so much when you get home.” I shook my head, earning a quick jerk on the leash. Bad Sweetie. This was wrong, it… nothing like this ever happened. She’d never been so– I was sobbing in bed, Bright Lights staring down at me. Ceiling fan spun above us. Round and round and round. Always spinning. “Why are you crying?” she asked. “I don’t know,” I sobbed. Everypony was gone: Rarity, Scootaloo, Apple Bloom, Diamond Tiara, Melody, Life Bloom, everypony who ever cared about me was gone but Bright Lights. All you have left. She kissed my cheek. “Don’t cry, Sweetie. You have everything you could ever dream about. What’s there to cry over?” She brought a cup full of medicine over next to me. “Take your medicine, and I promise you’ll feel better. You don’t want to be sad, do you?” I shook my head. “No.” I sniffled as I swallowed the pills. “Thank you for being so nice to me. For not… for not leaving me.” She wrapped her forelegs around me and drew me close. Soon the pills would do their work, and I wouldn’t feel anymore – Wouldn’t feel sad anymore. “Of course I won’t leave you. You’re mine.” Bright Lights stormed into the room, stepping over the broken vodka bottle. I stared up at the ceiling fan. Round and round. Slow idle circles. “I’ve had it, Sweetie,” she said, throwing a stack of papers at me. “I made you a star because I pitied you. Because I felt like helping somepony so sad and pathetic. But do you know what it cost me?” She floated one of the papers up to me. “See how big your name is and how small mine is? I made you into a star, only to find I can’t escape your shadow. You–” She screamed and curled up one of the papers. “Everything I did for you, and this is how you repay me. I’m the better actor, the better director, the better everything, but all anypony cares about is my stupid marefriend.” “I’m sorry,” I said, rolling over to look at her. “Just tell me what I can do and–” “No,” she snarled. “You’ve done enough. I’m going to fix this, and then, once your star darkens a little, we can go back to normal.” She smiled. Snarled then smiled. An upside down snarl. That’s not how it happened, was it? Something was wrong. Something was very wrong here. “Guilty,” Twilight said. “Guilty,” Rarity said. “Guilty,” Scootaloo said. Twilight and Rarity held me down while Scootaloo shoved the pills down my throat. “Take them all, and suffer like we’ve suffered.” “Are you ready, Sweetie?” Bright Lights asked, looking at me. We were backstage in my bedroom. “Your costume looks perfect.” She tilted the mirror to show a white mare with pink and purple mane and tree-sap eyes, a pink heart and purple notes on her flank. “I look just like me,” I said, frowning. “I know, the makeup artist did a really good job. When you go out there, nopony will be able to see what’s beneath,” Bright Lights kissed my cheek. “Just remember to smile for the audience.” She shoved me out the door and I staggered out into the living room. Outside the penthouse window, thousands of ponies sat, watching my every move. What did they want? A jerk pulled me to the side, and I saw the strings keeping me up. Above me, Bright Lights sat, making sure I hit all my marks. Give the audience a bow and dance. It wasn’t even that hard; all I had to do was let Bright Lights pull the strings, and everything was fine. The audience stomped their hooves. The show ended right on time: 2:46. I gave them all a bow. “Sweetie!” they called out. “We love you!” “Go out there with them,” Bright Lights whispered. “You should be with ponies that love you.” I nodded and trotted out to meet them. Thunk. I trotted face-first into an invisible wall. Keeping me from everypony. I trotted into it again and again. Why wouldn’t it break? I needed to be with them. Sweetie Belle. Seventeen. United with her public. Whump. Whump. Whump. A pounding was coming from the door. Of course! The encore! How could I have forgotten? What was the last scene? I couldn’t remember, and Bright Lights wasn’t there to tell me either. What was I supposed to do? The door turned to splinters, and an orange mare with magenta mane sprinted into the room. Scootaloo? Guilty. “Go away,” I shouted, chucking an empty pill bottle at her. “I don’t want to hear about how much you–” She tackled me. Something dug into my neck. The lights went out. Lower the curtains.