I barely slept last night; my mind was ablaze with plans and worries. I could only assume that Scootaloo had been taken in by Rarity, since that filly never came to my cottage to take me up on my offer. That did little to ease my guilt; now my concerns over Sweetie Belle were making me feel as guilty as ever. I did a double take as those two thoughts came together and I realized I had just made Scootaloo Sweetie Belle’s unofficial sister, or something close to it. Great. More complications.
The more I thought about it, the more I dreaded going to go to school at all, yet I had to. After all, who knew what had actually happened? Maybe things had gone horribly for Scootaloo. Or, maybe she never ended up speaking to Rarity. She was being honest when she had said she was going to confront her potential new guardian, but ponies have certainly been known to get nervous and change their minds. I groaned and decided to take a slower shower today. Sometimes I would take quiet moments and try to sort through my gained memories. Sometimes it actually helped, and I could place stuff aside forever. Most of the time, however, I just wished amnesia spells existed.
I stepped out of my cottage and let out a muzzle stretching yawn. I felt exhausted not only from my lack of sleep but also from my swirling memories. I had never really been an excitable colt, even before my ‘gift’ happened. However, with so much at stake, I couldn’t help but feel nervous; the unknown results of my actions weighed heavy on my mind. I yawned three more times that morning while walking to school.
I saw Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, Diamond Tiara, and Silver Spoon traveling together as a group this morning. I walked past them and noticed that they were all avoiding eye contact with me. I couldn’t blame them. Fortunately for me, I caught enough out of the corner of Scootaloo’s eye.
Rarity was staring down the filly before her, frozen in shock. Scootaloo could guess what was going through her head: was this really the filly Veritas was talking about? Unthinkable!
“Hi, Rarity,” Scootaloo said in a nervous tone.
“Darling,” she replied automatically.
“So, uh, Vertias was here, right?”
“...Yes.”
“And he said you would be cool with letting me stay here… like forever?”
“Scoota-” She shook her head a few times to clear her thoughts. “What in Luna’s name happened to your parents?!” She practically screamed. Scootaloo flinched and hung her head low.
“I, uh, well, my dad died during the changeling invasion… and my mom died giving birth to me…”
“Oh,” she replied. Rarity looked away guiltily. She had fought in the invasion. She knew that some ponies had died; she had just never considered the plight of the shattered families trying to pick up the pieces. “I, I’m so sorry sweetie…”
“It’s okay, it’s not your faul-”
“But I was unable to stop the invasion! The Elements were-”
“I know you tried your best. I don’t blame anypony. I- I don’t even blame the changelings…”
“But why? It was because of them-”
“I know that, but my father always told me never to hold grudges. Hay, I don’t even hold anything against Diamond Tiara from before we became friends. Still can’t believe that happened. Heh. Anyway, uh, can I stay?”
“Yes, you can stay here. I suppose I’ll have to-”
Scootaloo jumped forward and hugged her around the neck. “Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!”
“Of course, darling. I couldn’t let you sleep out there alone. Sweetie would kill me if I did that…” She muttered the last part, hoping Scootaloo did not hear it.
“What?”
“Nothing! That Veritas sure is something though.”
“I’ll say. Kind of scary though. He just knows everything after looking at ya; that’s not right…”
“It’s not something he can help. If he was your friend-”
“But he’s not my friend. He doesn’t even want to be friends! Does he really live on his own? I heard him say something about being ema... emansa...”
“Emancipated? If that is true, then yes, but to be emancipated from his mother or father at such a young age, well, there would need to be a very good reason.”
Scootaloo pondered this before smirking. “If I was his mom or dad, I’d want him to be emancipated right away! I’m sorry, but he’s kind of creepy!”
Rarity scowled. “Young lady, that is not something you should be saying!”
“Young lady? What?!”
“If you are going to be living under my roof, then you will be living under my rules. Whether or not he is creepy is something you should keep to yourself! That was also a very rude thing to say about his parents, very rude indeed!” Rarity stomped her hoof once to emphasize her point.
“But I-”
“No buts! He did help you, no matter how uncouth his manners are. Where have you been living, anyway?”
Rarity’s rapid mood swings were making Scootaloo frantic with uncertainty. “The club house. Rarity, I-”
“Well, we can’t have that! Let’s get you into a bath, pronto!”
The memory ended there. Scootaloo felt as if a giant weight had been lifted. I almost laughed from the way Rarity had begun to treat her. I’m sure it confused Scootaloo more than anything, but I could tell it was love. Well, something close to love, I guess. You don’t start controlling a filly’s or colt’s life like that without loving them. From Scootaloo’s memories I couldn’t tell for sure what Rarity or Sweetie Belle had been thinking though. I hoped that Rarity was not too upset. Sweetie did look pretty pleased, judging by the smirk on her face. I even heard her say something to Scootaloo about being her new sister.
If I was going to isolate Sweetie, I would need a reason. A good reason. As I entered the schoolhouse, I saw they were all still avoiding eye contact, especially Scootaloo.
Ungrateful little-! My thoughts were interrupted as the school bell rang out.
“Good morning class,” Cheerilee said warmly.
“Good morning Miss Cheerilee,” everyone except for me replied in unison. My only response was a pretty loud yawn and my eyes drooping down. She noticed this but said nothing.
“Today we will be getting together in study groups to review the chapter we are currently covering on Equestrian History!” I heard murmurs around me as the students immediately began recruiting their friends. “I will be assigning groups of two.” The whole class let out a muted groan.
There was no way that she was going to pick Sweetie and I. The odds had to be mathematically impossible, despite the small class size.
“Let’s see, Scootaloo and Snips. Snails and Apple Bloom. Silver Spoon and Twist. Diamond Tiara and…” It was getting pretty close; her mind was whirling from pony to pony as I scanned her eyes. “Me, I think I could be your partner.” Diamond Tiara groaned, and I couldn’t blame her; that was still the ultimate embarrassment no matter what grade you were in. “That just leaves Sweetie Belle and Veritas.”
Each student found their respective partner. Sweetie walked up to my desk and took a seat. As expected, she was avoiding eye contact, and her friends were throwing us nervous glances. I waited for the other students to start speaking to one another before talking to her.
“Hi,” I said, feeling stupid.
“Hello,” she said shyly in response.
“So are you avoiding eye contact cause of my special talent?”
“Yep,” she said in a blunt manner. “If I can’t see your eyes then it can’t work!” she said smugly, and then used a bit of magic to open her book.
“That’s only half right. I can still see stuff from-”
“Then keep it to yourself!” she snapped. Cheerilee looked over. “Sorry, Miss Cheerilee…”
I had nothing to say. Sweetie Belle turned back to me.
“I don’t care if you can see everything; just keep it to yourself and it won’t matter,” she said in a hushed whisper.
“I-”
“Shhh,” she said and began to quietly read her book. I was speechless. For once in my freakin’ life I was speechless, and I didn’t want to be! I gritted my teeth and began to read my book as well. I was no stranger to study groups; it was just an excuse to keep the class quiet and under control.
“Sweetie?” I tried asking.
“Yes? Do you need any help with your reading, or do you want to discuss the book?”
“Uh, no I-“
“Then, shh! You’re going to get us in trouble.”
I did not need True Sight to know that what she had just said was a lie. Students all around us were having playful conversations. She just didn’t want to be my friend or talk to me. I felt many things at that moment: I felt stupid for telling Scootaloo that I would never want friends when clearly that wasn’t true. I felt powerless because my True Sight had failed me. I felt annoyed that Sweetie would not talk to me about anything but our assignment. Finally, I felt sad that she did not wish to be my friend.
I had brought it all on myself. “I hate my life...” I muttered very quietly under my breath.
“What did you just say?” Sweetie asked.
She heard that?! Buck. I hesitated before speaking, by getting a grip on myself.
“Let’s just get our reading done,” I replied dryly. I couldn’t tell with my face buried in my book, but I was pretty sure that Sweetie was staring at me now.
A couple moments later, I heard Sweetie mutter something. It was so quiet that even if the classroom had been silent nopony else would have heard it, but I certainly did.
“You shouldn’t say things like that. At least you are alive.”
Her voice, it sounded so bitter. It didn’t take a genius to know she was alluding to her parents. From what I had seen in Rarity, Sweetie still remembered them very well. The ‘accident’ was only a year ago, after all. Officially it had been ruled an accident, but the emotions I felt from Rarity in those memories made the whole thing seem suspicious. Well, what’s done is done.
“Yeah, I am,” I replied.
Unfortunately that was our entire conversation. I felt so mad that such a golden opportunity was just wasted in actual class activities.
At lunch I ate alone. Nopony looked at me, and nopony talked to me. I had finally gotten what I wanted, and now I wanted something different! Isn’t it funny how the universe works out? So funny, I forgot to laugh.
It was then that I got desperate and hatched a really, really stupid plan. My plan was to… well, I had no real plan other than to just wait for them at their clubhouse and brazenly confront Sweetie Belle like some immature child. I knew that this could only end badly. I would probably just get kicked out of their hangout on my flank, but I had to try. I waited for school to end and then surprised everypony by dashing out first and making a run for the Cutie Mark Crusader Clubhouse.
I hesitated before entering the clubhouse and sitting down on one of their pillows. As I was running, I had developed a basic plan for what to say, but oh colt they were going to be angry at me. As the minutes ticked by, my pulse quickened. For the first time in a long time, I was nervous. I was extremely afraid that I would ruin any chance of gaining a friendship with Sweetie Belle by doing this, but I couldn’t think of anything better. I didn’t give a crud about her other two friends, just her.
Finally, after a good twenty minutes, I heard five voices nearing the tree house. I guess Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon were now crusaders, or were about to become crusaders. The door opened and in walked Sweetie Belle. She screamed at the top of her lungs when she saw me.
“What are you doing here?!” she yelled, her voice squeaking. The others rushed inside and quickly joined in gawking at me. Now, I’m a patient colt. I’m no actor, and I hate lying as well, but I knew that I had to jump into my act quickly before I lost the upper hoof.
“You know,” I started with a smirk, “when I lived in Manehattan, I would often find myself on the wrong end of a conversation. Ponies would call me things like ‘that little freak’ or ‘weirdo’ and even start fights with me.” I began to circle them to buy myself some time as I racked my brains for the best way to just blurt out what I needed to say. They tried to avoid my eyes, but it didn’t matter at this point. “It didn’t take long for the district that I lived in to figure me out and label me the outcast. Being the outcast is no fun; I think you all know this.” I finished while glaring at them. They again avoided my eyes, but I got the feeling that now they were doing so out of shame. “But I digress. I’m here to offer you all a deal.”
“What deal?” Scootaloo questioned.
“It’s very simple. Give me ten minutes alone to talk to Sweetie Belle,” I said, gesturing at her, “or I tell all of your guardians and parents all of your dirty...little...secrets.” This was the biggest lie I had ever told. Now, granted, each of these ponies did have a few things to keep from their parents. Nothing devastating, but they didn’t know that. They were still children, and their imaginations tended to run a bit more rampant than mine. Hell, sometimes even my imagination was too enthusiastic for its own good. I used to find it odd that other children would behave so imprudently and predictably. Eventually I realized that all the memories I had gained could also stand in for personal experience. I had to accept that I had grown far, far more mature than the other ponies my age, for better or for worse.
“You’re a scumbag! And I thought I used to act low,” Diamond Tiara declared. I ignored her.
“I don’t believe you! Why would you help me with my, uh, problem and then do this all of a sudden?” Scootaloo questioned. Apple Bloom raised an eyebrow at her friend, but Scootaloo avoided eye contact with her.
“Why indeed? Tell me Scootaloo, have you been honest with your friends? With Apple-“
“I’ll do it!” Sweetie blurted out. I blinked in surprise. Apple Bloom had no idea that her friend had been living in the clubhouse this whole time, but a glance into Scootaloo’s eyes told me that she and Sweetie had made a pact to never share that. I, of course, would never break this pact in a million years, but they didn’t need to know that. “Just don’t hurt my friends,” she said in defeat.
“Deal. Sweetie Belle, meet me at the lake, and come alone!” Then I dashed off, leaving the five scowling at my departing figure.
I waited near the water. I picked this lake because the open shoreline made it impossible for the others to sneak up unseen and eavesdrop. We would actually be alone.
Fifteen minutes later she came, marching along with her head held high. I guess she figured there was no point in hiding her eyes, which was true.
“I’m here, now what?”
“Right. First off I would like to apologize for my little stunt back there.”
She snorted. “Oh really? Then why don’t you seem apologetic?”
“Probably because I never planned on spilling those secrets, ever,” I said in the most serious tone I could muster.
“Then why do that?! What was the point?!”
“I really, really needed to talk to you. Just please give me ten minutes, and then I’m gone.”
“Fine, but you better leave me alone after this.”
I sighed and hesitated before speaking, “Right. You know my True Sight?”
“How could I forget?” she replied, her voice absolutely dripping with sarcasm.
“It doesn’t work on you.”
She quirked a brow in my direction. “Come again?”
“You heard me. It won’t work on you,” I repeated.
“I take it that’s weird?” she said, probably not believing me in the slightest.
“Well, uh, not for those that have True Sight as well…”
Her eyes narrowed at me. “What do you mean?” she demanded.
Instead of answering, I walked over to my reflection in the lake and gazed into my eyes. “What do you think I see, Sweetie Belle?”
“Your ugly face?”
“In my eyes, what do you think I see?” I ignored her jibe and began to smile into the lake, my eyes unfocused.
“I don’t know. Your memories or something? Doesn’t that hurt your eyes to do it to yourself?”
“No, because I see nothing. No memories, no names, no emotions, nothing at all. True Sight does not work on those with True Sight.” I slowly glanced back to her. “Do you understand?”
She scoffed. “Hello! I don’t have True Sight. I don’t even have a cutie mark, dummy. It’s not like-”
“You will,” I interrupted in a bold tone, my eyes still gazing down with a sad smile on my face. “You may not have it yet, but True Sight goes so deep, Sweetie Belle. I can see other ponies talents before they even get them. I know the cutie marks of Apple Bloom and Scootaloo already. And pretty soon, you will too. Pretty soon nothing will be the same.” I stood up and gazed into her eyes as she looked on with just a hint of fear. “And the reason I tell you this, the reason I brought you out here, is not to scare you but to warn you so you can prepare.”
“Warn me about what?” she asked, her voice finally starting to soften.
“When I said nothing would be the same again, I meant it. Your True Sight has to be strong to be able to block mine so easily. Pretty soon, nopony will be able to keep secrets from you. At least you have time to prepare so you don’t end up like me.”
She eyed me for a long time after that. When she spoke again, there was just a hint of compassion in her voice.
“What happened to you? Why are you like this? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I appreciate what you did for Scootaloo. It was probably the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard of, but you’re still so-”
“Complacent and a jerk?”
“Yes!” she exclaimed, then blushed a bit. “Oops. I mean, maybe a little…”
I sighed. “It’s just who I am now. I’ve seen so many things, Sweetie Belle. Terrible things and amazing things.” She slowly walked up to me and took a seat. By this point, I wasn’t trying to manipulate her; I was pouring my heart out. “At first it was pretty fun, when I first got this. It only showed names to start with. I spent a few days just running around the big city and surprising ponies by correctly ‘guessing’ their names. It was so much fun.” My breathing was sharp, she noticed. “Then the memories started, and emotions, and finally everything. It wasn’t so bad until I started watching my mom. The more I saw her memories, the more I hated her. I still love her very much, but she started to show me my dead father, whom I had never known. Each memory of him was bitter, to say the least. She was also bitter at herself for losing him, but that still didn’t change the fact that every memory of my father was bitter and hateful. I eventually knew everything about my dad without ever meeting him.
“Please stop talking,” she pleaded.
I continued as if I was in a trance. “I should have been happy with the life we had. My dad left us plenty of bits when he passed away. But every single time I looked into my mom’s eyes, I felt her pain and I felt her longing for my father to be alive once more. I was okay in the anonymous tumult of the city, but being with my mother was the only time when I was truly sad. True Sight is like a curse.... Pretty soon I tried avoiding eye contact with her like you all did with me, but it was only a matter of time before I would have to look into her eyes for some reason. Each time I did, the wretched sadness would be right back, as strong as ever, and I’d hate it even more. I knew I had to leave.”
“I get it! Please stop!”
“The eman-”
A hoof came up to my face as she slapped me. “Stop! I told you to stop talking, okay?” I looked over in shock and saw that she was actually crying. She sniffled a few times before speaking again. “I’m sorry all those things happened to you, but how am I supposed to stop it?”
I looked at her for a few moments, my physical pain forgotten. “You don’t, you just learn from my mistakes. Don’t hate Rarity for what she feels, and respect your friends’ privacy even when the doors will always be open with them.”
“That’s it? I just wait for this stupid thing to happen and then nothing will be the same?”
“I guess, yeah. And that’s all I wanted to tell you. I’ll leave you be as promised-”
“Now hold it right here mister!” She jumped to her feet, stomped a hoof, and narrowed her eyes in my face. “I may not be able to control my new talent when I get it, but I’m not going to watch me friends leave me!”
“And how are you going to stop that?” I tried not to sound mocking, but I did anyway.
“By proving to them that you’re not a freak, that you’re just a pony who wants friends like everypony else!”
“But I don’t want friends. Just you, maybe…”
She raised an eyebrow at hearing this. “Why me?”
“Because you have True Sight, and at least with you I can actually get to know you as a friend. It’s kind of a rare thing for me,” I admitted ashamedly. I was being as honest as possible.
“Yeah, well, that’s going to change! Right now! You are going to march over to them and apologize, and then you’re going to say how much you want to be their friends and that’s why you dragged me away and did all of this. Understand?”
“You’re going to lie to them?”
“Of course not! I’m just not going to tell them that I have True Sight yet, if I even really do. They already fear you, and I don’t want them fearing me. The only way to do that is to prove to them that you're just a normal pony and not some-“
“Freak, I get it!” I snapped.
“I wasn’t going to say that!” she screamed in my face, causing me to recoil. She sighed and calmed herself before speaking again. “You’re not a bad pony, Veritas. You’ve just had bad stuff happen to you.”
I scowled. “Spare me. I make ponies fear me without even trying.”
“I’m not lying when I say you’re not a bad pony. Now are you going to march over there, or do I have to drag you kicking and screaming?”
“And what if I don’t?” I challenged. I really did not want to associate with the others, even if it would help make Sweetie Belle my friend. There just had to be some other way of befriending her.
“If you don’t do what I say, then I will never be your friend! Simple as that.”
I couldn’t believe her. She was manipulating me and my feelings! I had poured my freakin’ heart out, so she knew that she had me. She was going to force me to make other friends to earn her friendship!
Without warning, she turned and started walking away. “My offer is slipping away,” she said in a sing song voice.
“Weren’t you listening to me? There’s no point in making friends with the ponies I already know!” I yelled back in a mocking sing song voice. She kept right on walking, not looking back.
As I watched her leave for the clubhouse, I felt something like a knife in my heart. She was pretty much the only hope I had for actually having a real friend, somepony like me. I hesitated for just a moment longer before sprinting for all I was worth. I caught up with her and collapsed at her hooves.
“I’m *pant*, I *pant*, I’ll do it.”
“Wonderful! I’ll just meet you back at the clubhouse then,” she replied, and walked off. After a moment, she turned her head back to speak to me. “Oh, and you really need to start exercising. You’re not fat or anything, but, really? You collapse after five seconds of running?” She scoffed and giggled before walking away again. I groaned, hoping deep down that what I was doing was the right thing.