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// Chapter 17: The End of a Nightmare 
// Story: The Most Chaotic Night Ever!!! 
// by Azure129 
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(Quick A/N: This one's an emotional rollercoaster, guys, and a little bit on the sad/distressed side sometimes. Just wanted to give you a heads up!)



Early the next morning (before Spike had even woken up), Twilight Sparkle was alone in her throne room doing some final cleaning up from the small unveiling party for her new window and Discord’s ‘throne.’ The celebration really had gone on for a while even after Discord and Celestia had left—it had just been nice for all of the girls to be together and for Twilight to have so much warmth and laughter filling her castle into the night. She had even looked forward to the little project of straightening up the throne room the morning after the party and how productive it would help make her feel. And now that she was almost done cleaning, the friendship princess was looking forward to a moment alone to admire the throne room herself—the first room she felt that she had made truly her own in this castle.

Twilight used her magic to let a broom sweep up around the circle of crystal thrones while she magically used a rag to do some polishing to the walls around Discord’s window. “Hmm…” she smiled to herself, “I have to admit, tidying up in here has been fun, but there’s no way I’ll be able to keep this whole castle clean all by myself, especially if I start having more guests. Maybe I can make some kind of compromise about the castle staff and get just a partial one for now: a few guards to post here and there would be good to have I guess, just in case, and someone to announce people would keep Spike from feeling like he has to do it, and then maybe I could get one or two maids to tidy up the other rooms in the castle a few times a week. But otherwise this room, my library, my bedroom when I pick one… I think I’d just like to take care of those three all by myself. It makes me feel closer to the castle.” She smiled more and then put aside the rag and magically made the pan full of dust the broom had swept up disappear. 

Now Twilight focused her attention on the new stained glass window. She sat down to gaze up at the creation and smiled. “Princess Celestia and Princess Luna were right—this window has the perfect position against the sun and moon for the light to catch the design both day and night.” Even now with the sun still low in the eastern sky, the colorful crystalline effect was rather breathtaking. Twilight smiled more. “I think you did a good job, Princess Twilight.” She nodded her head to herself with approval. “And I think you’ve earned yourself an afternoon of reading to relax.” She smiled more at the idea and stood up.

Before heading to the library though, Twilight’s gaze went to the depiction of Discord in the window, which she observed with particular admiration for how well the artisan’s had captured his likeness while eliminating some of the harsher angles seen in his depictions in the Canterlot castle windows.

Then a very small movement caught Twilight’s eye.

She swore the saw the mouth of the Discord figure twitch upward just slightly on one side.

Her eyes remained wide. She looked into the Discord figure’s eyes and did not blink.

And she looked…and she looked…and she looked…

And finally the Discord figure did blink, thus ending the very intense stare-off.

Twilight’s eyes went wide. “Discord?” She raised an eyebrow. “What are you doing in there again?”

The figure sighed deeply and rolled its eyes. “Oh darn it, you caught me. In my defense though I was doing an excellent job of keeping still and secret until you announced you were ‘rewarding’ yourself with an afternoon of reading. How could I help smiling a little? Honestly, Twilight Sparkle, we need to get you some more interesting hobbies.” He smiled more and turned on his back. “Oh and by the way, this incident should illustrate to you the need for some security around here—don’t just get a couple of guards for the front door, Twilight. Get at least a dozen and have them do various patrols.  Suppose I was still evil and I snuck in here like this, and you just had a sleeping baby dragon upstairs and that horn of yours and nothing else to protect you, hmm?” He crossed his arms over his chest.

Twilight sighed but smiled a little too. “Thank you, Discord, I’ll keep your advice in mind. Now, would you mind coming out of there? Talking to a window is starting to feel a little strange.” Her smile picked up on one side.

Discord sighed but nodded. “Of course, I hear and I obey, oh grand Princess Twilight Sparkle.” He snapped his fingers and made himself appear before her, returning the window to its former design. “Better?” He grinned

Twilight grinned too and nodded. “Much, thank you.”

Discord sat down on his new throne and yawned. “Sorry about that. I was thinking of taking a little mid-morning rest there.” He considered, glancing back at the window. “But still, I probably shouldn’t. It’s one thing to play in glass, it’s another thing to take up shop there. It would take me days to work the crick out of my neck from napping in a window like that.”

“A rest?” Twilight raised an eyebrow again. “But why use the window? You can rest here inside of the castle if you want,” she offered with a shrug and a raise of her hoof. “You can stay in here on your throne or you can use any other room in the castle. I’m thinking I have at least a dozen bedrooms in this place. None of them are furnished yet of course, but feel free to put a bed in one and even take a nap if you’d like.” She grinned a little and lowered her hoof. “You can be my security for the rest of the day, if you’re so concerned about me.”

Discord raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms over his chest, grinning a little back at her. “Hmm…it never ceases to amaze me. You and Celestia and even Luna…three princesses just inviting me into your homes, trusting me completely like you do…giving me every opportunity to slip up and go back to my old, bad ways.”

Something warm came to Twilight’s smile and gaze. “But you won’t do that, Discord, so what’s the problem?”

Discord smiled a more and sat back a little, looking down and forward. “Nothing at all, I suppose.” He took a breath and looked up again. “Twilight? I…I didn’t just stop by for a rest in the window. I…I wanted to say, well…sincerely…about this…” He gestured behind him to the window and down to his throne. “What you did for me…everything you’ve done for me,” he swallowed, “…you really didn’t have to do it. I mean, we all know how much I love attention of course but…I can’t imagine that I deserve all of this.” His eyes went a little wide and he raised an eyebrow again. 

Twilight looked back at him with interest but then smiled again. “Discord, you still don’t understand. Friendship isn’t about ‘deserving’ and ‘paying back’ and ‘earning’ the right to be treated kindly.” She sighed and considered her words. “It requires work and exchange but…not in the way you’re thinking about it. My point is…friendship isn’t ‘I do something for you and you do something for me’. Friendship is more like ‘I do something for you and you just let me do it, and I grant you the same courtesy.’ ” She smiled again. 

Discord shrugged. “I don’t know, Twilight. I understand what you’re trying to say, and I think I know how to apply that to others—how to give now without expecting to receive or even to be praised in return. But trying to apply it to me…” He sighed. “I seem to be having trouble with that aspect of the whole thing still.”

Twilight frowned but nodded with understanding. “It’s okay, Discord. You’ll learn, and I’ll help you anyway that I can.”

Discord frowned back at her though. “But what you did here, I mean—isn’t it risky?” He flew into the air and gestured with his paw to the castle around them. “Clearly the tree of harmony didn’t consider me ready enough to be part of your castle’s design—to be a regular part of your quest for friendship. What if you defying that plan hurts the Elements somehow or displaces the rainbow harmony of the room…or, I don’t know, disturbs the pony feng shui of this place or something?” He rested on his stomach and crossed his arms over his chest.

Twilight blinked at this concern. She took a moment to consider it very carefully. And then she took in and let out a deep breath. “Discord, ever since I came to Ponyville, the Golden Oaks Library was my home…and I wanted it to be my home for the rest of my life. It was the town library technically, but I made it my own, and my friends who visited enjoyed it, and I enjoyed it.” She looked to the throne room around her. “But now this is my home in Ponyville, Discord—this castle. And I have to make it my own now too because I know I’ll be happier when I do…and because I know missing my library isn’t going to bring it back.”

Discord frowned so much. And he remembered what he had told Tirek such a short time ago… ‘Princess Twilight lives in a library in Ponyville.’ If any moment so far ever since the awful mistake of his betrayal had made him want to confess all of his guilt and shame and apologize sincerely, it was this one. But Twilight went on now, and he became too absorbed in her words to summon the courage to share his regret.

Twilight gave one final faraway glance around the room and then she shook her head and smiled up at Discord again. “Discord, the tree and the Elements have guided me as a student and as a princess, and I do trust their judgment. But…now I have to trust my own judgment as well. I was waiting for a while to be told my role in Equestria, and now that I know it, I also know it wasn’t just a matter of having it told to me. I also chose my role just like I’ve chosen to make this castle my home now. And I’ve chosen to have you be a part of my castle and my home.” She smiled more. “You always had a place here anyway, throne or no throne, Discord—I just added something physical to help mark that place and to help keep you from forgetting it’s there.”

Discord just blinked and looked at her with wide eyes for a moment. Then he seemed to consider very carefully…and finally he glanced to the window again. “So…you believe you can choose your destiny and who you are and how you live your life just as much as having it thrust upon you?”

Twilight nodded. “Yes, Discord. I do.”

“No guarantees…but freedom.”

Twilight watched Discord closely.

Discord turned onto his back in the air and remained lost in thought for several moments. Then he blinked a few times and sighed. “This window and the throne…this is the third nicest thing anybody has ever done for me, you know.”

Twilight’s eyes widened slightly. Then she nodded and sat down now, observing him closely still. “May I ask…what were the second and first nicest things?”

Discord smiled just a little and looked down, playing with his fingers lightly. “The second one—which used to be the first one—was when Fluttershy befriended me. She spent time with me and not once made me feel like I was odd or like I needed to change. She made me feel like someone could like me for me for the first time in my life.”

Twilight nodded again, smiling softly. “That’s lovely, Discord. And…the nicest thing?”

Discord barely glanced at her. “When you saved me from Tirek even though you had no reason in the world to. Not one at all. And every reason to leave me, including my own desire to just be left.” He sighed and shook his head. “Or maybe that wasn’t necessarily something that would count as the ‘nicest’ thing. I don’t know. But it was certainly the noblest thing I had ever seen anybody do in my entire lifetime, and I think being a part of it made the experience even more meaningful for me.”

Twilight frowned and accidently let a thought slip out of her mouth. “The two or three nicest things that anybody has ever done for you all happened…only in the last year? There was nothing in all the time before that?”

Discord blinked, and a deep look of sadness flashed across his features. But then he regained himself and merely shook his head, looking forward dully. “I suppose not, no.” 

Twilight stood again and came forward. “Discord, I’m sorry…I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything,” Discord replied. “And it’s not like I can blame anypony, all things considered.” He landed now. “You’re not the problem, Twilight, I’m the problem. I just…” he put a hand to his head, cringing in frustration, “I can’t…I don’t…I shouldn’t…” He sighed deeply. “My head hurts.”

“Can I get you something?” Twilight offered instantly. “Or maybe you’d just like to talk—are your dreams still upsetting you?”

“In more ways than I would care to admit,” the master of chaos merely replied, more to himself than to her. He opened his eyes to look down at her. “But you can’t help me, Twilight. Just this once you can’t and Fluttershy can’t and Luna can’t…and even dear Celestia can’t. I have to help myself. But it feels so wrong in a way.” He was quiet for a moment, and Twilight let him be that way. Then he spoke again. “Twilight, I’m sorry…” Discord took a breath and smiled again. “I mean, I’m sorry to be bothering you right now. After all of this work and the party, you deserve some rest and a peaceful afternoon to read. And here I am getting all worked up. Heh,” he smiled more, something a touch sheepish coming to his features, “i-it’s just all these new, sappy emotions I’m working with these days, that’s all. Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine.”

Twilight, however, did not look convinced. She frowned all the more. “Maybe you really should stay here to rest for a little while, Discord. Please. You can even take a nap in the library while I read. And that way I can watch over you and wake you up if you start having a bad dream.”

A touch of warmth came to Discord’s smile, but then he sighed and shook his head. “Thank you. But no, I don’t think I can do that, Twilight. I, um…I need some time alone to think.”

“Then stay in one of the other rooms, even in another wing—you’ll have all the privacy in the world,” she assured with a hopeful smile.

Discord still shook his head though. “No, I…I need to be really alone. Alone, alone. I need to have a good long talk with myself and understand something.” 

Twilight hesitated but then finally nodded. “If that’s what you think is best, I trust your judgment, Discord. But do get some rest, please. You look tired.” 

Discord nodded. “I’ll keep that in mind.” He moved closer to her. “Twilight, before I go…Thank you.” His voice was very quiet and very sincere “Truly thank you for what you did here for me. I know right now it might seem like it’s causing me more distress than joy, but it’s not. Yesterday was one of the happiest days of my life actually. And I’ll never forget it or forget how good of a friend you are to me.” He grinned. “I might avoid the subject because it sounds pretty sappy now that I’m hearing myself bring it up, but just know that underneath all of the sarcasm and the pranks, that mushy little bit of truth about me liking you and appreciating you is indeed there.”  

Twilight beamed and then smiled softly. “Okay, Discord. And you’re welcome. I’m happy you’re happy…and I hope you’ll find a way to feel better soon.”

Discord smiled a little more. “I’ll do my best, wise little Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Friendship.” He gave her a small bow. “Pleasant morning, and farewell for now.”

Twilight gave him a nod and a small in return. “Bye, Discord.”

Discord straightened up and held up his tail to snap the end. “A glass of chocolate milk before I go? You’ll need some kind of treat to go with your reading to really make it rewarding.”

Twilight smiled more. “Sure, why not? You do make the best chocolate milk after all, Discord.”

“Yes, that I do indeed.” Discord chuckled and snapped to make a large glass of his signature drink (with a crazy straw) appear floating in the air before her. “Ta ta for now, Twilight.” And then he snapped his fingers and was gone.

Twilight waved. Then she let out a sigh, and her frown returned a little. “I know he’ll be all right soon. I just…also know he has some kind of problem he needs to deal with that’s bothering him, and it might be very hard for him.” She sighed. “I’ll be hoping for you, Discord, and I know everypony else will too.” Twilight turned now and magically took up her glass of chocolate milk. She glanced at the throne room once more to admire it and then with a small smile headed upstairs to sip her drink and read a book in the library while she waited for Spike to wake up.





Discord was very sleepy. But Discord was also the most stubborn being in Equestria. Not to mention he wasn’t too keen on the dreams (or nightmares) that might come with sleep at the moment. And so he spent the day distracting himself in every possible way to make himself stay awake, not really having a plan but hoping he could figure something out before he absolutely had to sleep (and as nightfall was approaching, the need for slumber was indeed becoming more and more urgent).

Now it was evening, and Discord was resting alone in his little private valley in the Canterlot castle statue garden gazing up at the slightly cloudy sky as the light changed color from the pinks and purples of Celestia’s sunset to the dark blues of Luna’s moonrise. Perhaps the garden was no longer the least obvious place for him to be, but he just didn’t have the energy for zapping himself to some new dimension or shooting himself a few stories in the air onto a cloud or dashing to some remote part of Equestria. He needed a little familiarity to comfort him, and this place was indeed the most familiar one of all. In a way, he almost felt like he belonged here. Besides which, not having slept properly in nearly two days, he really was too exhausted for any place more stimulating.

So right now he was here…and right now he was thinking, and thinking specifically about Celestia, but not in any sort of embarrassing way at the moment.

“I think I understand now,” Discord mumbled to himself. “The shame, the guilt I feel…even when people do nice things for me, it’s keeping me from enjoying them. I know no one has to deserve being treated kindly, but I still feel like I don’t deserve it entirely just the same.” He sighed softly. “It’s like when Celestia apologized to me—she needed me to forgive her but she also needed to forgive herself. If…If I can forgive myself, it might be what I need to get past all of these bad feelings and bad dreams. But I barely feel like I deserve help…and even if I decided I did, how to go about it…” Yet, it was obvious to him how to go about it—Celestia’s way of going about it to relieve her own feelings of guilt and regret. Discord cringed. “But talking to everyone, bringing it all up, apologizing directly for my actions…I don’t know if I could bear it. Having to recall the horrible thing I did to my dear friends right in front of them, reliving it to unburden myself. Even addressing the horrible things I’ve done in the past, the worst parts of me. I’m not sure if I’m strong enough to do that yet. And it seems so much easier to just pretend nothing happened. But I also know I can’t just forgive myself on my own. I’ve been trying, and it hasn’t been working.” 

Discord took a deep inhale of the cool evening air. There were many clouds gathering, and the night felt like it would be chillier than usual, but somehow he liked the change. It felt refreshing to him. He almost would have welcomed the rain that seemed to be preparing to come—not as fun as his chocolate milk rain, but good in its own way. 

The chaos master closed his eyes and mumbled to himself. “What would Starswirl do…?”

Discord just wanted to stay up for as long as possible and to think about many things, including that question, and to enjoy the quiet and peace and sanctuary of his privacy.

However, his privacy would now be interrupted.

There was a flash of magic that made him blink only to see Celestia suddenly standing at the crest of his little valley’s hill. She was wearing a light cloak over her shoulders. She smiled down at him. “Oh Discord, good, I’m glad you’re here. I won’t have to travel to Ponyville to look for you there.” She walked down into the valley.

Discord sat up and cleared his throat. “Oh, um…yes. It’s been a very full day, and this seemed as good a place as any to come now that it’s over. And it’s good to see you too, Celestia. Is something on your mind?”

Celestia smiled and nodded. “Yes. My guests are all gathering now in one of the reception rooms. We’re having some light refreshments, and there’s a fire going. Luna’s coming too. I thought you might like to join us—both of us can fill in the guests about Twilight’s throne room. I’m sure they’d love to hear about it and that they’d love the chance to get to know you better before the Gala.” She pulled her cloak around herself a little more as a light breeze picked up. “Also it’s going to be a bit cold tonight, and the pegasi are planning a final rain before the Gala to water the grounds, so I thought you might like a nice, warm room in the castle for the evening. And I’d love to have you for breakfast in the morning along with all of my guests.” She smiled warmly.

Discord had to smile a little at her graciousness. But then he sighed. “Celestia, that’s very nice of you to offer. And I don’t mean to disappoint but, um…I’m not really in the mood to be around a lot of people right now. I have a lot on my mind. I’m trying to make a decision about something, and it’s difficult. I really just need some quiet to sort out everything.”

Celestia frowned a little, concern coming to her eyes. “Is it something with your dreams again, Discord?”

Discord shook his head. “No, not exactly. It’s hard to explain. And, um…you know I want to keep making a good first impression on everyone, but I’m not really feeling up to being my usual life of the party right now. That’s all.” He shrugged.

Celestia nodded, though she still frowned. “Discord, if you need something, anything…if there’s anyway I can help, just let me know.” She moved closer. “I could even stay with you for a little while now. Whatever will help you, I’ll do my best to do.”

Discord sighed, and his mismatched heart gave a few extra beats. Her staying here with him here all alone, the night slowly descending to leave them both in tranquil twilight. And how he could hold her hoof, and she might say a kind word…and then for a moment in the slightly romantic atmosphere there might be a spark between them, and they could get lost in each other until dawn, his arms wrapped around her as her hair flowed around him to keep them both safe and warm in their privacy and intimacy.

The chaos master took a deep breath. ‘Wow, you really are tired. Focus please, and not on preposterous plans to woo her.’ He cleared his throat and smiled a little again. “I know you’d do anything for me, Celestia. You’re a very good friend, and you really are kinder to me than I can say. And I like that you’re kind to me more than I can say too.” He felt a light blush threaten to come to his features. “I know you just want me to be happy. But right now it’s not that simple. Please, no more offers. Please just…let me be alone for a while. I promise you have nothing to worry about.” He smiled and lightly shooed her with his paw. “Go on, enjoy your little party and your guests. But please don’t sacrifice for me, that’s not what I need right now. I just need time to reflect alone.”

Celestia took in all of this, her eyes full of confusion and deep thoughts. But then she finally glanced down and gave a single nod of her head. “I’ll respect your wishes, Discord. I trust you know what you’re doing, and that you’re doing what’s best for you at the moment.” She looked to him again and smiled a little. “But please, can I offer one thing before I leave you?”

Discord just didn’t have the heart to refuse her. He knew it wasn’t her fault that she didn’t understand that right now the more kindness bestowed upon him, the worse and more guilty and confused he was feeling. “Sure, Celestia, anything you want.” He smiled again.

Celestia used her magic to make a small basket appear which she placed before him. “Some snacks from what I am going to serve my guests tonight and a thermos of hot chocolate for you too, to keep you warm.” She smiled more. “And if you do wake up cold, find Luna or a guard and have one of them lead you to an empty room. I’ll leave special instructions with the castle staff so that they’ll expect you. Either way though I do hope to see you for breakfast, but I’ll understand if you’d rather not come. It will be a more crowded table than you’re used to.” She shrugged.

Discord looked at the sweet offering of the basket and then back up to the lady who had bestowed it upon him. “Thank you, Celestia,” he replied softly, maintaining his smile. 

“You’re welcome.” Celestia smiled and gave a single nod. “Goodnight, Discord. I’ll see you later.”

Discord gave her a nod too. “Goodnight, Celestia. I’ll…I’ll look forward to it as usual.” He smiled a little more, unable to help himself.

Celestia met his gaze for a moment, smiled more too, and then used her magic to teleport herself away.

Left alone, Discord lay back down and let out a very deep sigh into the night. He looked at the basket, then reached out to touch it but just couldn’t. He put a hand to his head instead. “This is not good. I really, really must sort this out before I can’t enjoy anything anymore, even my friends… Even if it takes the whole night, I have to try. Besides,” he sighed again as he snapped a couple of pillows and curled up on the ground, “what if when I try to sleep, I have another one of those awful dreams…about hurting people?”

Discord turned to look up at the cloudy night sky again, and he swore he saw a streak of blue light pass by high up that must have been Luna. Somehow the sight did give him a little comfort, though it also made him worry more too.

He didn’t touch much of Celestia’s food, though he did drink all of the hot chocolate. It helped keep him warm and awake. And the fact that his thoughts were many and racing helped too. In fact, he didn’t sleep a single sound wink the entire evening and was only ever tempted to leave the repose of his new thinking space as night waned and the idea of popping off to watch Celestia gracefully raise the sun entered his mind, making him blush. But he was so tired that he just remained where he was as light slowly came to the world entirely thanks to his friend who always managed to warm him inside with her friendship just as she warmed the world with sunshine everyday.





“A little flight after breakfast will help me rest better today,” Luna remarked to herself while she soared through the air over Canterlot castle in the early hours of the morning. She suddenly gave a quick turn and darted in and out of the gathering clouds. “And the thickened clouds for the oncoming rain feel so refreshing.” She smiled more and then dropped down low just for the feeling of falling in the air and swooping forward at the last minute.

She was near the hedge maze now, directly over the statue garden actually, and that was when she spotted a familiar figure down below. “Discord?” She raised an eyebrow. “Hmm…as long as I am out here, I would like to congratulate him on Twilight’s addition to her throne room in his honor and on his passing last night without any nightmares. Perhaps that is a good sign for him.” Luna let herself drop lower and lower in the air and then finally flattened out her wings and effected a gentle landing near the ridge leading down into the small valley Discord liked to occupy. 

The moon princess trotted toward her friend with a smile. “Good morrow, Discord. A pleasant day, is it not? I always prefer some clouds and wind to just pure sunniness. And how are you doing? I hoped to congratulate you on Twilight’s new…window…” Luna’s speech slowed down, and her smile fell. She raised an eyebrow as she finally took in the sight of her friend. “Discord…are you all right?”

The master of chaos was just lying on some pillows in the grass, gazing up at the sky. But there were bags under his eyes and his countenance was dreary and his fur was a little disheveled, and there was something beyond tired-looking in his gaze. He gave a single nod. “Oh, hello, Luna. Yes, I’m all right. Just a little tired.” He sat up a little and stretched. “And good morning to you too.” He tried to smile.

Luna approached him, looking more and more concerned. “I take it then that you did not sleep well last night, Discord. Though I did not sense any bad dreams in you.” 

“That’s because I didn’t have any,” Discord explained with a shrug and a smile, “because I didn’t sleep at all last night.”

“And not for some time I take it from the exhaustion apparent in you,” Luna supplied as she sat down on the grass near him. She frowned more. “Discord, this is not good. I told you, all creatures need sleep, especially ones as powerful as yourself. Even if it’s erratic and chaotic, it is very important that deep slumber happens. You could make yourself ill otherwise.”

The master of chaos just chuckled a little. “Great, then I can do another song sequence and saddle up Twilight and Cadance to a chariot again, and we’ll head to the far borders of Equestria for a giant flower on top of a killer worm to fix me right up!” He held his paw high in the air in jesting triumph.

Luna raised an eyebrow at this reply.

Discord noticed and just sighed and waved her off with a grin. “Oh, never mind, private joke—you wouldn’t get it.” He cleared his throat. “Look, I’ve just had a lot of deep thoughts to think, and I can’t sleep with my head that full. Simple as pie.” He snapped, making a fly appear. Discord raised an eyebrow. “No, that’s not right. Not fly.” He snapped—the fly disappeared and a loaf of bread appeared. “No, not rye.” He snapped—the bread disappeared and a necktie appeared. “No, not tie.” He sighed and snapped it away. “Well, you know what I mean—pie, like I said.” And then he chuckled a little.

The night princess blinked. “Uh huh…” she replied hesitantly. Then Luna put a smile on her face and stood and approached him again. “Discord,” she spoke very sweetly and patiently, almost like addressing a child, “I think you’ve had enough ‘deep thinking’ time for today. Now, why don’t we go back to the castle, and I’ll set you up in a nice bedroom with a pot of tea, and you can sleep all day long and then join us for a good dinner and get some more sleep tonight as well? What do you say?” She smiled more and held out a hoof.

Discord sat up all the way and gave a large yawn, stretching as he did so. “Oh no, no—very good try, Luna dear, hmm.” He chuckled. “Sometimes I really do think you and that sister of yours want to literally kill me with kindness. But I’ll be fine, I can take care of myself, I know what’s best for me.” He sighed deeply and rolled his eyes to the side, trying to sound casual. “No time to waste being coddled by princesses.”

Luna lowered her hoof, and her gaze became a bit firmer. “Discord, my sister may be willing as your friend to concede to your judgment in your personal affairs with the patience and trust that all will work out for the best, but I’m afraid you won’t find me so passive. Whatever is going on with you, it has gone on long enough, and I must insist that you deal with the matter before you cause harm to yourself or others. I cannot force you, but again I must tell you I cannot support your decision to avoid your problems and I do not agree with your risky behavior.”

Discord blinked, then frowned and scowled at her a little. “A danger to myself and others? And just what is that supposed to mean, Luna? So what if I missed a night of sleep—who cares? It’s certainly not going to harm me anymore than, let’s say, being turned to stone and left that way for a thousand years did.” He held out his arms. “You know, you all just left me out here, no one cared, and now suddenly every time I’m here I’ve got to get a visit and advice from somepony. Well, so what if I’m not at my best right now—I’m not a princess, I don’t have to worry about impressing everypony and fretting over whether or not they like me like your sister does half of the time or like you do all of the time. And speaking of that ‘nightmare’ of a misunderstanding, you’d think you’d actually be happy that someone stayed up for once to admire your ‘precious’ night directly instead of just snoring their way through it.”

Discord was in a quite grumpy mood and prepared for (if not looking forward to) a bit of a fight. But all he got in return from Luna was the sternest gaze he had ever been given by another creature.

That look struck something deeply in him, and Discord blinked several times. Then he took a deep breath, realization coming over him. “Luna,” his voice took on a sincere tone, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean all of that, any of that, really. I’m just tired and frustrated and confused, that’s all. I really did not mean what I just said.” He looked right into her eyes.

Luna’s stern look remained for a moment longer but then relaxed a little. She let out a breath and nodded. “I know, Discord. I understand. If anyone knows how sleep can affect mood, it is me.” She held out her hoof again. “Please, just let me take you back to the castle. I will be asleep, unfortunately, if you wake up during the rest of the day and need anything, but my sister will be there of course to help watch over you too.”

Discord looked to her hoof very carefully. But then he shook his head. “Luna, I…I promise, I’ll get some rest, but I’d rather stay out here. I just feel more comfortable out here…alone.” He looked down. “I already told your sister, I don’t feel like being around other people right now. And I especially don’t feel like being confined in a square room in a square bed with everything perfectly proportioned around me. It makes me a little skittish—that sort of prison-like effect—and I need a place where I can let my mind wander.” He glanced at her. “You understand what it’s like to appreciate that kind of freedom, Luna. I know you do…otherwise you’d spend most of every night handling your affairs within the walls of the castle like Celestia does, not soaring and tumbling throughout the Equestrian skies.”

Luna had to pause at this point. She saw the sincerity in his eyes…and she felt their slight kinship about this issue. She nodded and took back her hoof once more. “Very well. I will leave you here for now. But I want your solemn word that you will sleep, Discord.”

Discord nodded. “You have it. But I may just take a little time first to finish my thoughts about something. Besides,” he smiled just a little, “despite my chaotic nature, being awake mostly during the day and being asleep mostly at night seems to be working best for me right now, and I don’t want to mess up my sleep cycle too much. After all, with how peaceful and sweet you make the nights, what person wouldn’t want to wait to be lulled into the serenity of repose by the darkness around them and the moon and stars so skillfully placed overhead, hmm?” He grinned innocently.

Luna couldn’t help smiling just a little. “No one likes a flatterer, Discord.” She sighed and nodded. “Very well. But I will be attuning myself closely to your emotional states when you sleep. And also please remember Canterlot is due for rain by tonight. Take shelter before that happens. And take care of yourself, Discord. It really will be best for you and everypony else.”

“Of course, Luna.” Discord nodded. “And thank you for the sound advice.”

Luna smiled and then opened her wings to fly up. “I’ll see you soon, friend Discord.”

Discord waved to her. “Bye bye, Luna.” 

She took off, and he watched her go.

Then Discord let out a very deep breath. “Maybe I should have taken her up on her offer—a hot pot of tea, a cozy bed, someone to watch over me….” But then he just let out a breath and shook his head, gazing up at the daytime sky thick with clouds amongst the sunshine. He smiled more as a few rays broke through now to reach him, and even closed his eyes for a moment, yawning and mumbling to himself. “Maybe I really won’t dream about anything else bad on top of all the bad things I’ve been feeling. Maybe I’ll dream about her again…sunshine…sweet Celestia. I know it’s so selfish of me, but still…how I feel about her…it’s a comfort amongst everything else.” Discord turned on his side and did remain awake for a little longer, trying to sort out his feelings and thoughts about his guilt, but he was too tired to make much steady progress and indeed soon drifted off, especially as the sunbeams gradually warmed him more and more.

It was not until night and the darkness, and cold and rain came that his dreams would take a turn for the worse.





The day passed without much incident for anypony, and night fell soon enough over Equestria, bringing tranquility to most parts of the land…but also bringing a good thunderstorm to Canterlot. The winds blew, thunder rumbled, lightning flickered in the sky—it was quite a night to behold, especially from a place as central as the castle. However, most of the castle’s inhabitants were currently asleep and unable to take in the sights and sounds of the tempest…though at least two distinguished ponies were still wide awake. And perhaps it was something about their connection as sisters, but even despite the size of their castle home, somehow now they had managed to run into each other.

“Luna??”

“Celestia??”

“What are you doing here?” “What are you still doing awake?”

Both sisters asked their questions at the same time, looking at each other from opposite ends of a short hallway which they had each just entered by coming around opposite corners. The hallway had windows overlooking the grounds. The sisters wore their normal regalia, but Celestia wore her crown but also a warm robe around her shoulders.

Suddenly lightning flashed, illuminating for a moment the night and the rain currently falling against the windows. Luna remained still, though Celestia’s eyes went wide in a touch of surprise, and she couldn’t help blinking and taking a few steps closer to her sister.

Luna cleared her throat. “I am just making rounds of the castle as part of my nightly duties, sister. And yourself?” She raised an eyebrow.

Celestia blinked and considered, looking down. “I was just taking a walk to clear my head, Luna. I couldn’t sleep.” She glanced out of the window for a moment. “The rain kept me awake.”

Luna glanced in that direction too (which also happened to be the direction of the statue garden) and then back to her sister. She approached Celestia. “Sister,” her voice was soft, “if it will help you sleep, you should know that I was just planning to go out to the statue garden and check to make sure that Discord is indeed not still there. I insisted very strongly this morning that he take up temporary residence here with you and I. And I’m afraid if he is still out there despite the storm and the cold, I simply will not leave his side until he agrees to the proposal.” She smiled.

Celestia just remained looking out the window, her eyes a little wide and the lightest blush on her features at her sister’s accurate observation of her true thoughts. She nodded. “Yes. I’d appreciate very much if you did that, Luna. I, um…I feel partially responsible for any distress he might be going through right now. I sat down with him the other day and formally apologized for what happened between us. I think it was helpful overall, but for now it might have been too much for him to take in on top of everything else that’s been on his mind.” She glanced to Luna. “Do you want me to come with you?”

Luna smiled but shook her head. “No thank you, Celestia. No offense, but you have always been a soft touch—I think if Discord simply turned the storm into one of chocolate rain and cotton candy instead of one of water and lightning and insisted he liked being out there with things that way, you would seriously consider allowing him to remain outdoors.” Her grin grew and her eyes took on an all-knowing, assured look. “I, on the other hand, will get him into shelter and warmth even if I have to drag him by his stubborn tail inside.” She laughed a little.

Celestia smiled and laughed a little too. “Perhaps you’re right. You always had the firmer hand than I did. And Discord needs that. Thank you, Luna.” She nuzzled the side of her sister’s head gently. 

Luna nuzzled her back. “No need to thank me, Celestia. It is my duty.” She pulled back, still grinning. “Besides, I enjoy bossing Discord around a little—and it’s even more fun now that he actually listens. Perhaps if Twilight will be like our new baby sister, he can be like our obnoxious if loveable older brother?” She tilted her head to the side in consideration of the idea.

Celestia laughed warmly. “Yes, perhaps, Luna. I already like him as much as a brother actually if not more.” Celestia yawned and pulled her robe more tightly around herself with a slight shiver. “Should I get you a cloak to go out there with? The night’s very cold this evening.”

Luna just shook her head though. “No, thank you. The cold never bothers me much. And in fact I’m looking forward to a brisk flight through the nightly rain. You go to sleep, sister. And Discord and I will see you in the morning for breakfast.”

Celestia smiled and nodded. “As you wish, sister. You guard the night, and I will heed your judgment about it.” 

Both sisters gave a small bow, and then Celestia departed. 

Luna looked out of the window again and sighed. “Maybe it would be best if he really was still out there so that I really could get him to come inside the castle. If he has further nightmares, it will be easier for me to care for him here…. And I do think Celestia has grown very, very attached to him.” Luna blushed just a little at the notion.

And then Luna’s eyes went very wide and flickered with a strange light, causing her jaw to drop open and a small gasp to escape her. Images only she could see played across her vision, and her eyes flashed with silver light, then red, then black.

“Ah!” A large gasp escaped her! The night princess blinked, which caused her eyes to return to normal. Then she instantly flew up, opened the window wide, and took off into the storm as the window shut behind her. The path of her flight was directly toward the statue garden—she knew now that Discord was indeed still out there…and that he was having a dream more awful than any other. “Discord!” Luna called out into the rain with panic as she flew with all speed toward him.





Prior to Luna’s sudden departure, prior to the start of the rain, even just prior to the full start of night, Discord had finally dozed off and had not been having a half bad sleep at all. In fact, he was having a particularly enjoyable dream, probably brought about by falling asleep with the final beams of sunset warming him.

His dream was about Celestia, of course, but nothing intense: no crazy passions, no heart-pounding romance, no completely out of character Celestia throwing herself at him. Indeed, his subconscious actually liked this dream better for how real Celestia seemed in it—his friend who maybe…possibly…could be more.

They were lying in the grass of the statue garden, all alone in a way reminiscent of their little picnic lunch together a couple of weeks ago. They were angled in the same direction and facing each other, smiling warmly in the sunshine and having a playful conversation while Discord kept two pink cotton candy clouds floating at their sides to hold their glasses of chocolate milk.

“Oh come now, Celestia, I told you, I’m too brash to have any secrets about myself to share with you….” Discord assured her coyly, glancing to the side.

Celestia smiled more. “Oh come on, Discord, just between you and I as friends? You’ve had such a long life with so many adventures…just share with me one thing that no one else knows. I like getting to know more about you.”

Discord swallowed and sighed. “Okay, fine, fine. I have a slight phobia of, um…well…tatzulwurms.”

Celestia raised an eyebrow. “You’re afraid of tatzulwurms?”

“Slight phobia!” Discord corrected with a grin and a raise of his paw. “It’s just that I’d never seen one up close until I took Twilight on that madcap friendship test with Cadance when I pretended to be sick, and then when I saw it come out of the ground I was so startled. And they’re so creepy.” He shivered. “All wormy and wiggly and gnashing teeth. Ugh, no thank you. I’m into chaos, not morbid violence. And I was so grateful that Twilight and Cadance took care of that thing so I didn’t have to.” He sipped his milk. 

Celestia smiled with interest. “I see. Thank you for sharing with me, Discord. I promise I won’t tell anyone.”

“Yes, that would be appreciated,” the chaos master replied with a warm smile. Then he grinned more. “Okay, now that I’m done sharing, you have to tell me something no one knows about you, Celestia.”

Celestia smiled but glanced down. “Actually there are so many things, I wouldn’t know where to start. Is there anything in particular you’re curious about? I’d be happy to answer a question.” She looked back up at him.

Discord’s grin grew and his eyes hazed more. “Well,” he sighed, “there is something, but…I’m afraid that if I ask it, you’ll take it the wrong way.” 

“It’s all right, Discord,” Celestia assured. “Please just ask, and I’ll do my best to answer.”

“Very well then.” Discord smiled more. “How, in the name of all that is orderly in Equestria, do you have time to spend like this with me instead of being completely occupied by beating off scores of gentleman callers with a proverbial magical stick?”

Celestia blinked. “Discord,” she tilted her head to the side a little, “are you asking me…why I don’t go spend time with other gentlemen the way I spend time with you?”

“Actually,” he shrugged, trying to keep his tone casual, “I’m mostly asking why there aren’t seriously dozens of stallions singing ballads at the front door of the beautiful sun princess at any given moment in time? But I suppose why you don’t go and pursue those stallions yourself is a question that would have the same answer. And I suppose my ultimate point is what makes me so special?” He gazed into her eyes with interest.

Celestia blushed just slightly. Then she smiled a little. “I could ask you the same things but about yourself and me. Why doesn’t the powerful, clever, distinguished master of chaos have mares swooning over him all of the time? Or why doesn’t he go off and pursue those ladies instead of having a picnic here with me?”

That reply made Discord blink and then blush considerably, his eyes going wide. “I…well…I…you…”

Celestia giggled softly. She leaned in closer to him, her voice lowering. “I want to spend time with you. That’s why I spend time with you, Discord. And that’s all you need to know for now.”

They were almost nose-to-nose.

Discord’s eyes remained wide, and his blushing remained strong. “I like you, Celestia. That’s why I spend time with you.” Despite the simplicity of the words, he clearly meant the confession in a complex way, and he knew Celestia could see the truth.

Indeed, the sun princess blushed herself again and looked down. “I like you very much as well, Discord.”

Discord swallowed, seeming unsure. Then… “Celestia?” He reached out and laid his paw on her hoof. “Promise me that no matter what, we’ll always be close like this now?”

Celestia looked up and smiled so warmly. She nodded and moved her hoof more against his paw. “I promise, Discord.” 

The two just looked into each other’s eyes, smiling.

And as the seconds passed in their repose soon there couldn’t help but be something there. And they really were so very close now….

“Celestia…” Discord whispered, holding her hoof a bit more firmly and tilting his head to the side just a little. “I…” He didn’t know what else to say.

“Discord…” merely left Celestia in a gentle coo.

Something about her tone made a sigh escape Discord, made his eyes close more…and made Celestia’s eyes close more too. 

Their mouths went to meet each other.

CRACK!

Discord jumped at the sound of a peal of thunder. He looked around in shock only to see dark clouds starting to gather overhead, and a chilly wind and steady rain picking up around them. “Celestia, we should get out of here! …Celestia?” She didn’t answer, and the master of chaos looked to her only to see her open her mouth to reply but then disappear into mist among the rain.

Panic came to his features. “Celestia!” Discord called out, standing up.

“Hmm…no, not quite. Or at least not anymore. But I do hope I’m a lovely consolation prize.”

These words said in a dark voice from behind him made Discord gasp and then turn. He scowled at the sight before him.

There, its arms crossed over its chest, stood that blackened grinning figure of himself from some of his prior nightmares. The one made of darkness and shadow. The one with the red eyes. The one who taunted him. The one he hated. 

And the one he possibly feared in a way too…

“What did you do with her?” Discord asked in a low growl.

The figure laughed. “Oh calm down—in case you haven’t figured it out yet, you’re dreaming, genius. She was never even here.”

“I’m dreaming?” Discord blinked. “But…But then…” He sighed, rubbing his temple. “Yeah, okay, I probably should have known it wouldn’t be that easy with her.” He looked back to the dark figure again. “Okay then, fine, I’ll just wake myself up and go get the real her myself.” He held up his fingers to snap.

“Mmm mmm…” The dark figure shook its head. “Won’t work. Why do you think I bothered to tell you that you were dreaming in the first place? No, no waking yourself up or getting woken up—you’re staying here, and we have to talk because you have a problem. You’ve let yourself get too weak and sentimental lately…but now you’re finally almost at the point where you can’t deny me, the part of you that I am, the evil part. And I’m quite looking forward to busting out, I have to say.” An almost psychotic little chuckle left him.

“You’d have to destroy every other part of me to do it, just so you know,” Discord countered with a glare.

“Ha!” The dark shadow twisted itself to look at him upside down. “Oh let’s see, I’d have to crush a sappiness streak, a nasty dose of friendship that clearly wasn’t meant to take anyway, and I’d have to get rid of this new pesky desire you have to be liked and loved. But we spent a life time crushing those same things out of everybody we met, so…I don’t think it’ll be too hard to do it to myself.” A very dark look came to the figure’s gaze.

Discord swallowed, trying his best to remain firm. “Oh…just shut up! I know I’ve done bad things, but I’m not going to do them to anyone else anymore, and I’m certainly not going to do them to myself!”

The dark shadow just straightened up and shook its head. Its red eyes narrowed. “You’re just waiting for the ball to drop, and you know it. Now that you have all of these attachments and emotions, it’ll be so easy for something to come along and hurt you about them and make you angry. And then you’ll be right back to being me—the me you used to be.” A touch of suspicious sympathy almost came into its voice. “Better to turn back now than to get all your little ‘friends’ so excited over you and suddenly break down and betray them once more. Don’t you think?”

“Say. That. Again.” A very angry-looking Discord challenged, holding up his fingers to snap. “I might not be able to snap myself out of this dream, but I can certainly snap up something horribly chaotic to use against you.”

The shadow just grinned and then chuckled evilly again. “No, no…you see, I’m part of your mind, and you’re in your mind, so it’s my rules. And we’re going with a classic set today—no flying and no magic for either of us at all. We’re just going to talk now, like I said.”

Discord blinked and couldn’t help trying to snap, but sure enough nothing happened. He didn’t bother trying to fly away. He knew when he was over a barrel…and maybe this talk needed to happen anyway. “Very well.” He stepped closer, arms over his chest. “Talk then.”

The dark shadow grinned, and its red eyes glowed. “I’m just saying this reform has been such a poor strain on us and our chaos. All of these changes…. You and I know all the baggage we have to live with…and all the darkness and anger deep inside of us that’ll always be there. Do you really think that now we’ll be okay just because Twilight Sparkle saved us when she didn’t have to?”

Discord looked him in the eye. “There’s more to it than that, and you know it.” 





Back in the reality of the night….

“Discord!” 

In the statue garden Luna had just landed in the rain and was looking around desperately, blinking to fight back the occasional flickers of dreams that came before her eyes. “I’m not even trying to enter the land of dreams—it shouldn’t be possible for me to get visions right now, even if it is nighttime and even if Discord is close. His mind must be in very great distress.” Lightning flashed, and Luna got a brief glimpse of the grounds illuminated once more. Luckily she caught sight of the valley and hurried over to see him still lying there. “Discord…!” Luna paused at the sight of Discord curled up tightly and cringing in his sleep as he clung to the grass in distress, tossing and turning.





Back in Discord’s mind…

Discord and the shadow continued to stare each other down.

The shadow smirked and spoke up again in a mocking tone as it clasped its hands over its chest dramatically. “Oh, but you don’t understand, Twilight was so brave and noble, I was so inspired, I just want to be a good boy now forever and ever!” 

“Hey!” Discord shot back. “What she did is not something I ever thought it was possible for another creature to do! Even Celestia and Luna, whenever I attacked them or took advantage of them, always fought me or punished me or got angry. But Twilight Sparkle…she had every reason to hate me, every reason to leave me to Tirek’s wrath, and I gave her every sign that that’s what I wanted! I wanted to be punished—but instead she looked him right in the eye and demanded my safe return, she called me her friend even after I had broken our trust. She forgave me without question, like it was natural and right. And she had nothing to gain by doing it because I had no powers to help her, and everything to lose because for all she knew I would have betrayed them again if I could have. She was something better in that moment than I ever realized it was possible for anyone to be….” He held his head high. “The legacy of my chaos is nothing compared to the legend that will be the magic of her friendship one of these days.”

A light, sarcastic clapping met his ears. The dark figure moved around him. “Oh bravo, bravo, a little speech almost as noble as it was pathetic.” The figure’s smug grin fell. “You’re still not getting this, are you? It doesn’t matter what Twilight did or how much it impressed you. This is about who you are.” It leaned in closer. “And deep down, more of you than you care to admit is not the good person they want you to be.” Its voice lowered. “If Tirek hadn’t betrayed you, you would have gone through with everything. Admit it.”

Discord swallowed, his eyes a little wide. “I…I-I don’t know what I would have done. I was having some doubts even before he double-crossed me. I…” He glanced away and then sighed deeply. “The point is I didn’t end up doing anything! And I helped in the end! I’m not perfect, I made mistakes, everyone makes mistakes, but I did my best and came through for everyone! Who are you to fault me for that? A-And who am I to fault myself for that?” He leaned right up into the shadow’s face with a scowl.





Back in the garden…

Luna had tried calling to Discord several times now, but whether because of how deep his dream was or because of the sounds of the storm drowning her out or both, she could not wake him…and the flashes of bad images coming to her eyes were getting stronger. “Very well—this worked the last time!” Luna used her magic and made a bucket of water appear which she quickly flung upon Discord…but to no avail amidst the rain and wind already enveloping him! Luna brought a hoof to her forehead. “Oh, of course it did not work—he is already wet!” With a shake of her head and deep concern in her features, she hesitantly moved closer to Discord. “I must find a way to rouse you, Discord. Your emotional engagement in this dream is at too high of a pitch for me to create enough of a presence in your mind to awaken you mentally. I must keep trying to do it physically without actually touching you.” She sighed to herself and looked down. “Very well, let me think.”

She considered and then magically lowered a tree branch, trying to awaken him by brushing him with the leaves.





Back in Discord’s mind…

Discord thought he felt a slight tickle, but it went to the back of his mind as he pursued his conversation with the dark shadow with as much confidence as he could muster. “I can be a good person if I want to be!” he announced firmly, hands clasped at his sides. “Twilight Sparkle said—”

“Twilight Sparkle is a child!” the shadow boomed! “Twilight Sparkle is a little purple pony in way over her head who has no idea what she’s gotten herself into and who has barely had time to suffer the trials truly necessary to prove herself as grand a leader as you claim she is! And you can try ‘choosing’ good all you want, but we both know that choice as been laid before us before, and we’ve always chosen my way. The easy way, the fun way, the powerful way!” It smiled sinisterly, its red eyes narrowing more. “Tirek was right about one thing—we are legend. And we couldn’t have become that way unless we had a knack for doing bad, a calling, a desire…unless we really liked bad things.”

“I can like other things!” Discord challenged. “E-Even the part of me that’s you can like other things!”

The shadow raised an eyebrow. “So you admit I’m a part of you—you own me as a part of you?”

Discord blinked and was quiet for a moment. Then he sighed softly. “Yes. Yes, you’re a part of me. A part of me is bad.”

A dark grin curled on the shadow’s lips. “Excellent. At least we’re finally making some progress.”

“But a part of me must be good too.” Discord looked up. “I wouldn’t be able to love my friends so much if it wasn’t.” The statement, despite the apparent conviction in Discord’s tone, couldn’t help but have a touch of something question-like to it though.

“Oh brother!” The shadow rolled its red eyes. “Here we go—back to the sugary sweet assurances of hope and happiness. You sound ridiculous when you go on like this, just so you know.”

Discord cringed a little but continued. “But I do love my friends. It took me a while to realize it, but I do. I tried hard not to, but…I couldn’t help myself. And…” his look became firm, “…and I don’t think good people would be able to love me in return if I wasn’t good. What about Fluttershy?! She couldn’t have found something to like in me if I was a monster!”

“Yes, let’s talk about Fluttershy….” The shadow’s gaze darkened, and Discord’s took on a look of some anxiety in response.





Back in the garden…

“Discord!” Luna stood back, braced for the sound, and then magically made two cymbals clash over Discord’s head!  She looked to him hopefully, but sadly her efforts were still in vain. The cymbals barely made a difference against the sounds of the storm, and Discord only cringed more and tossed and turned even more violently in his sleep, his tail thrashing and gasps escaping him!

A now soaked Luna looked on in dismay. Finally, she scowled and summoned her Royal Canterlot voice and powers to cry out, “DISCORD!!!” 

Unfortunately, her powers made even more lightning flash and thunder crack at the exact same time she boomed his name, thus drowning out her effort. And still Discord continued in his nightly terror.

Luna stood there, catching her breath. She tried to think of another way as she continued to look on at her friend in grave concern and worry. “I must wake him up, no matter what.”





Back in Discord’s mind…

“What about Fluttershy?” Discord asked warily.

Something very dark and very cold came to the shadow’s features. His smirk was even gone too. “It’s one thing to hurt creatures you don’t know or care about. It’s another thing to betray someone you care for, someone weaker than you, someone who would never fight you back, someone who had even put all of their trust in you. Yet you did so to Fluttershy.” Its voice lowered, and it came closer to him. “Personally, I think that speaks to a darkness in you that even I didn’t fully realize was there until now. Truly a part of us is just ice…”

Discord took in a very deep breath, shaking a little. “I didn’t…I just thought…”

“Enough.” The shadow’s glowing red eyes looked into Discord’s eyes. Its voice was low. “Betraying the princesses—fine, they kept you imprisoned for a thousand years, it was only natural. And as for ‘the girls’, Rainbow Dash and Applejack were always rude to you, Rarity tolerated you but kept mostly to her fashion, Pinkie Pie just liked laughing at your jokes but otherwise barely got to know you, and Twilight was clearly just dealing with you because it was her royal duty. So who cares if you double-crossed them? But Fluttershy…Fluttershy actually cared about you! About everything about you! And you threw cucumber sandwiches in her face and gave her to a madman for fun!” A little grin curled at the corner of the shadow’s lip. “I’m almost impressed by such darkness…and yet deeply disturbed. How delightful.”

“Shut up!” Discord cringed, his eyes closed.

The dark figure cackled. “It was like the crowning achievement of your evil life or something.”

“I said shut up!” Discord glared at it, fists clenched at his sides.

The figure shook its head and shrugged with a grin. “But I’m just telling you the truth, the shadows of the things that have been. Don’t blame me for how they turned out—that was your choice. All it did was feed me.”

“I said just…shut up…” Discord blinked a few times, eyes darting around in distress and then looking down in shame.

The shadow chuckled. “Aw, are you going to cry now? How cute—we haven’t done that since we were just a little draconequus all alone in the wilds and we hoped deep down that our tears would magically bring other draconequui to take care of us so that we wouldn’t be lonely anymore.” It grinned in amusement. “Oh!” And now it gasped in amusement.

Discord had suddenly grabbed the shadow (as much as one could grab a shadow anyway) and was holding him firmly. “I’m…” he took a deep breath, barely keeping himself strong, “I’m going to take responsibility for my actions…I’m going to apologize for them directly…and I’m going to feel better, and you won’t stop me. I-I’ll be just like Princess Luna—I’ll grow from my mistakes instead of letting them hurt me. And I’ll be just like Celestia—I’ll admit I’m sorry and forgive myself and move on!”

The dark shadow eyed him with its sinister grin. “Hmm, for starters, Celestia-level goodness is way out of your league. And as for Luna-level goodness, you forget, Discord, there’s a pesky difference between you and her.” It let its smoky self slip from his gasp. “Luna’s a good person deep down who made a mistake. But you are not.” Its smile fell. “I’m not even talking about the girls or Tirek anymore. I’m talking about your life—how and who you’ve lived as up until your ‘reform’. I’m talking about the dark passions that you’ll never be able to tell your friends about no matter what…the things only another dark creature would understand…the things that gave you and Tirek something in common. You’ve loved some very bad things, Discord, and hated some very good things. You may be able to deny the doom of your future, but you can’t deny the darkness of your past. You’ve been a bad person, Discord, over and over and over again.”

Discord just stood there, eyes a little wide like he was looking off into a memory. And then something a little stiff and dark couldn’t help but come to his features. He sighed softly and said three words. “Yes. I know.”





Back in the valley…

“Perhaps I should get Celestia,” Luna pondered as, with a strained cringe, she now attempted to use her magic to turn Discord’s body around in order to wake him (though she was having trouble getting and maintaining a good grip considering his size and the storm and how much he was writhing). “Dealing with Discord would certainly be easier with her here!” Luna finally let out a deep breath and had to give up on trying to move Discord herself. “He is even heavier than he looks.” She wiped her brow. “But perhaps between Celestia and I, we could manage to—”

“Ah!” Discord cried out sharply in his sleep, lashing out with his claw and paw.

Luna’s eyes went wide and something red and black flashed before her eyes, causing them to go wide. She blinked, and her eyes returned to normal. “There is no time for that now though! Besides, Celestia is not used to bad dreamers and she has gotten so close to him—I’m not certain she should see him in a state like this. And I have to keep Discord’s dreams and nightmares private. This is my responsibility.” Luna sat down and closed her eyes. “Let me at least try to enter his overwhelmed mind…then if that fails, I will approach him and wake him physically myself regardless of the risks. Discord is strong, but so am I. I am certain we will both be fine.” Luna let out a deep breath, blocked out the rain and cold, closed her eyes, and focused.





Back in Discord’s mind…

'…Discord…'

“What was that?” Discord turned his head, eyes wide, as a faint echo of someone saying his name in some far off yet familiar voice came to his ear.

“Nothing.” The shadow stepped around him again, making the atmosphere around them even darker and thicker. “You’re just trying to change the subject. Stop and face the truth. Admit it to yourself again…” It looked into his eyes once more. “Don’t you remember how nice it felt watching the ponies watch their world slowly unravel…?”

Discord let out a breath at these words and that stiff, almost numb look and tone returned to his features again. He nodded. “Yes. I remember…watching the fear and confusion in their eyes…seeing the chaos overtake them. I liked it.” His mouth twitched almost like he wanted to smile at the thoughts. “Sometimes I want to like that kind of chaos again. It was…powerful. It touched everything and everyone.”

The shadow grinned. “Yes, it burned—your anger, your passion, your dark joy at knowing yourself master of all…bringer of all confusion, denier of all joy, an artist of conflict. You remember your desire for their dark despair. You remember the spark of bad things within you.”

“I…”

“Discord…!”

That glimmer of a voice came back to him. Discord’s eyes went wide again. “I…” he swallowed, “I remember liking terrible things. I remember the passion I had for unraveling the whole world with my powers and seeing what it could fall apart into. No one mattered to me, hate amused me. Control satisfied me—watching them all feel so confused just like I always had to feel. I felt like a genius…” he frowned a little, “but I was a fool.”

The shadow moved in closer, making the space around them as dark as could be to drown out everything else. “Why, because your little pony friends say so?”

“No!” Discord countered, scowling again and sounding strong once more. 

‘Discord!’ it was almost like he could still hear the voice saying his name in his head.

The dark figure glared down at him and added, “Or maybe it’s because the fair Celestia says so…” It smirked.

Discord’s eyes went wide and a shot of blushing came to his features. His focus went entirely to the shadow again, and he scowled. “Leave her out of this. She does not control me, no one does. I was a fool because friendship and love are better than loneliness and hate!”

“I think you mean better than ‘fame and power’, ” the shadow countered, its voice lowering. “And are they really? You know so little of friendship…even less of love…”

“I’m working on it,” Discord announced proudly.

“Mmm hmm,” the dark figure replied skeptically as it raised an eyebrow. “And what if all of this is just a fluke—what if those little girls are the only friends you ever manage to make and only because they came to you first?” Its dark grin grew, especially as it watched Discord frown again at these words.





Back in the garden…

“Ah!” Luna gasped! Her eyes opened, and she brought a hoof to her head. “It’s no use. I cannot penetrate his mind.” She looked to Discord now—he was on the ground, cringing and thrashing worse than ever! He even moaned in his anxiety. He seemed on the brink of a collapse, and she feared to see more—he was causing harm, genuine and possibly irreparable harm, to his mind and heart!

And as princess of the night, no matter what the risk, Luna could not let this tragic abuse go on.

The moon princess took a deep breath. “I will have to physically wake you myself, Discord.” She nodded to herself. “Everything will be all right, Discord. Do not worry.” And then she approached him.





Back in Discord’s mind…

Discord took a deep breath and replied to the dark shadow’s suggestion that his friendship with the girls was a meaningless fluke. “My friends are good friends no matter how we came to be together. If they were all I had in the world, it would be more than I deserve. But either way, I’ll learn how to make other friends too. I’ve made friends with Luna already…and Celestia. And both of them can help me to make more friends. And Twilight can help me too.”

The shadow frowned only for a moment at this annoyingly hopeful and logical argument. But then its red eyes flashed and its smile grew. “I see.” It gave another quick turn around him. “And what about that girlfriend you suddenly decided you deserve? Where will she come from? Who is going to put up with the flaws of your present, the uncertainty of your future, and the darkness of your past to love you in that special way?” Its red eyes glowed more and looked right into Discord’s again.

Discord’s eyes went wide. Then he took in a breath in a touch of indignation and crossed his arms over his chest, trying not to show any doubt. “Th-That’s for me to know and you to find out. I’m sure I’ll manage. It’ll just take time. I’ll learn.”

“Hmm mmm mmm…” The shadow just chuckled.

“What’s so funny?” Discord raised an eyebrow.

The dark figure stood before him and said simply with all of the ice it had accused Discord of possessing deep down, “She’ll never want you too, you know.”

There was a long pause.

Then Discord, his lip trembling just a little, swallowed. “I don’t know what you mean.” Blushing tinged his features.

The shadow moved closer. “Yes you do. Celestia, our pretty sun princess.” It moved around him, whispering. “You can get as close as you want to her, but she’ll never really want you too. She’ll never really look at you with the desire you’re letting yourself have for her. She’ll never indulge that side of you. Come on!” It laughed, a dark, sinister laugh. “Discord and Celestia! The monster and the goddess! Ha!”

Discord just stood there frowning, something in his eyes crushed-looking.

The shadow’s look became firm. It stood beside him. “Better just to get rid of her. At least she won’t torture you anymore. Might make it easier for me to move around in your mind as well.”

“NO!”

“Hmm?” the shadow glanced at him, an eyebrow raised.

Discord looked back at it defiantly, his voice losing any uncertainty. “I will never harm a single hair on her head…o-or any of my other friend’s heads! And so what if she never has those feelings for me, who cares?” His blushing couldn’t help but grow. “It’s not like I really do have those feelings for her.”

The shadow just grinned at him, an eyebrow raised. “Is that why I came in on you holding her hoof and trying to kiss her in a valley?”

Discord blinked and glanced away. “A-At most it’s a crush,” he mumbled, fighting back humiliation.

“I’m in you.” The shadow shook its head. “I am you. Is it really a crush? Really?” It leaned in close and whispered darkly into his ear. “Haven’t you fallen quite pathetically in love with her?”

“Never!” Discord announced almost in a panic, his features scarlet. He backed away from the dark figure! “I’ve never fallen in love with anyone! I…Shut up!” Some of the weakness and fear returned to his tone.

A most delighted, deep chuckle left the shadow. “Discord and Celestia sitting in a tree…. Oh if you thought it was embarrassing having Tirek ripping into you for being friends with ponies, can you imagine what he or the other villains would do if they found out you want to be Mr. Celestia, Princess of the Sun? Hmm, hmm…!” It started breaking into crazed laughter at the idea.

All Discord could do was frown and blush more, looking down…because he knew it was true, and not just about the villains but ponies too…and Celestia herself. If he truly indulged his attraction to her, he would be humiliated. “Fluttershy didn’t think it was funny…” was all he could whisper.

“That’s because Fluttershy doesn’t know that you’ve taken things from a quaint preference to a full blown romance!” the dark figure countered, leaning in and causing Discord to lean back. “I know everything, Discord, even the things you’re too scared to admit to yourself about us, even this: not only do you practically ache with affection for her but you ache for Celestia’s sweet affection in return. I’ve seen the dreams, every detail, because I’m part of your dreams.” She shadow glared down at him, its red eyes flashing. “And what do you think will happen when one day you profess these noble feelings to her? When you come to her on bended knee with a glass of chocolate milk in one hand and another bouquet of flowers in the other? That she’ll fly off into the sunset with you—the princess of the sun and a demon of dark magic? Do you think she’ll let you have her, hold her, keep her, kiss her? Never! And do you know why she won’t—because love will never be what you really want, and love will never be something you can really give, and she knows it just as much as you do!” The shadow loomed over him in its darkness and rage. “Control, chaos, conflict are the only things that give you real pleasure. You can still feel your heart burning for them. You can still feel the smug satisfaction of who you used to be. Her rejection of you will send you back to that, to me… I can’t wait. Don’t you want to be free again, free of everyone and everything?” Its red eyes glowed, glaring down into Discord’s.

Discord just looked up at it, so confused, almost scared. He blinked a few times. “It…It was easier then. No one could hurt me.”

The shadow nodded and stepped back, keeping its voice smooth and convincing. “But now they can, can’t they? You’ve come to need their approval, and it’ll hurt when it’s taken away.”

Discord frowned and looked down. Then he closed his eyes. For a moment it felt like a warmth was building in his head and trying to go through the rest of him, but it was such an odd sensation that he twitched away from it. “I…feeling liked and loved hurts…having to wonder now if they’ll ever stop liking me and loving me. The sadness of betraying my friends, the pain of the guilt I felt…. Shame. So many responsibilities and so many things to feel now…” he mumbled out, cringing, seeming so tired.





Back in the valley…

In the rain, Luna was standing at Discord’s side and doing her best to keep him steady by holding one of his shoulders with her hoof while his pillows were laid over his torso to keep him steady on the ground. Luna’s eyes were closed, and she had her glowing horn to Discord’s forehead. “I must shock you out of this, Discord. I am sorry.”





Back in Discord’s mind…

The dark figure nodded to Discord’s description of their current pain and plight. “None of that sounds like a place for chaos.” It looked Discord in the eye and even put a paw on his shoulder. “Look, I’m not here to harm you—we like to harm others, remember? I am not trying to cause you strife. You’re the cause of that for us right now. This isn’t a matter of temptation, of winning you over to the dark side. I’m here to help…” It looked at him very seriously. “All I am saying is do not deny your true nature. Look into the deepest pits of who you are, recognize and accept that person, and be yourself. It will be better for everyone.”

Discord looked back at it so sadly. “But…I don’t want to be bad.”

“Yet you are bad,” the shadow insisted. “Remember the terror…”

“My friends think I’m good,” Discord tried in return.

“And who knows you better—them or yourself?” the shadow replied.

Discord blinked and then looked down again.

An angry look came to the shadow’s dark features. “You can’t even face what you did enough to apologize! Admit it—you don’t feel bad that you betrayed others, you just feel bad that you got betrayed! You’re angry, aren’t you?!”

“Yes…” left Discord softly.

“And frustrated?”

“Yes.”

“And alone?”

“…Yes.”

“But you still see so clearly all of the brilliant destruction that you’ve wrought and all of the marvelous chaos that you could unleash! You wonder in the darkness about it, and it still makes you smile…” The shadow’s voice was sounding frantic with rage now!

“Yes!” Discord suddenly boomed back at it. And then a great warmth came over him, taking away the sadness and despair from his features—he felt like a sudden fog had been lifted from his heart. And he felt like he knew his true enemy and what he had to do! Breathing heavily and scowling, he pushed the shadow away and went on. “But that’s not all that makes me smile! Tea with Fluttershy makes me smile, Twilight’s window makes me smile, and Rarity’s accessories and Applejack’s pies and Rainbow Dash’s jokes and Pinkie Pie’s insanity and Spike’s admiration and Luna’s concern and Celestia’s smile! They all make me smile too! And who’s to say you and the mistakes of my past are more real than all of that?!”

The shadow suddenly grew in size and darkness, its voice deepening. “LIES!!!” it boomed.

“And that’s another thing!” Discord yelled back, no more fear in his eyes! “I don’t lie anymore!!!” And then he flew right at the shadow as the shadow flew at him, preparing to best it and break free from it at all costs!

“Let’s see if you can fight me without becoming me!” was the last thing he heard it say in an almost demonic voice.

Discord felt a fire burn in him at the accusation, though there was a better warmth inside of him than just his anger, and he could feel it. “You are not me!” was the last thing he cried out before diving at the figure and preparing to defeat it once and for all…and before a shock of warmth and a flash of bright light overtook his senses!





Back in the garden…

“Ahh! Oh!” 

“Ah!” 





In the castle…

The second of those cries had come from Discord, but the first cry had come from Luna. And right now, in the peace and safety of her bedroom in the castle, Celestia sat up with a gasp and her eyes opened wide. “Luna…!” she whispered in the darkness.





Back in the garden…

Discord sat up with a gasp. He blinked many times—everything around him was dark and the rain still lightly fell and the wind still lightly blew as the storm began to subside, and he was shaking and his heart was pounding. He tried to sit up but found himself half buried beneath his pillows. He snapped his fingers, freeing himself, and then put a hand to his head.

“Oh…oh.”

Discord’s eyes flew open wide and his gaze searched the darkness. He knew that voice. “Luna…?” Finally he saw her sitting not far off from him. Her horn appeared quite charred…and she was clutching one of her wings and wincing considerably.

Discord moved toward her. “Luna, what’s wrong? Why are you out here? I…” He stopped. He noticed something: his tail was slumped on the ground right next to the clearly injured Luna, a midnight blue feather lodged in the tuft. “Luna…” Discord whispered, a stricken look coming to his features. ‘Oh no…no, no…’ “Luna what happened? What did I do?”

Luna blinked and looked to him. “Discord…” She winced a little again but went on. “Please, listen. I—”

Just then, however, there was a flash of magic and Celestia appeared at her sister’s side. “Luna! Luna, are you all right?” She leaned down with a frown. “I felt your distress. Are you hurt? Was it the storm? Please let me see?” She gently opened Luna’s wing, causing her sister to wince again. Celestia’s eyes went wide—there was a distinct cut in Luna’s wing shaped like a crescent moon. And then her eyes travelled up and Celestia noticed the blackened state of Luna’s horn. “Luna…” was all she could say in confusion. 

Luna stood up a little, keeping her wounded wing folded into her side. “Sister, we can discuss this later. I am fine. For now, Discord is the one who needs attending to. He has done far more damage to himself than to me.”

Celestia’s eyes went very wide and then she looked to Discord.

“I…” Discord took a step back, eyes wide and full of pain, “I didn’t mean to hurt anyone…I promise. It’s just everything, and the dreams and nightmares. I’m so…so…” But now, as if those cerulean eyes full of concern for him hadn’t been difficult enough to bear, Celestia’s violet ones full of confusion and probably very soon disappointment if not anger were just too much. “I’m so sorry.” Discord frowned in shame. Then he snapped his fingers and was gone.

Celestia and Luna looked after the spot he had left behind for several moments in silence. Then they looked to each other.

Celestia took a deep breath. “Luna…” Her questioning eyes met her sister’s.

Luna looked back at her with understanding. “Assist me back to the castle, sister. I will explain everything as far as I can without betraying Discord’s privacy as a dreamer. And I promise you, it is not how it appears.” They began to head forward, Celestia guiding Luna across the grounds. “The storm is subsiding. If he does not return to the castle by dawn, I will go out to look for him.”

Celestia shook her head though. “No, sister. You’re hurt, and you need need healing and rest. If he is not back by dawn, I will go look for him.” She nuzzled her sister gently. “Are you sure you’re all right, Luna?” she had to ask once more.

Luna nodded. “The duties of the night sometimes come with risks. I accepted that long ago. Besides,” she smiled a little, “just because I am your little sister does not mean I am any less strong than yourself or Discord. He merely caught me by surprise. Perhaps one of these days we can have a rematch when both of us are awake, and I will soundly best him, I believe.” She laughed a little, which made Celestia laugh a little too. And Luna was happy to see that her sister seemed better. Next to the night she had let herself become overwhelmed by the power of Nightmare Moon over a thousand years ago, Luna had never seen such a look of hurt and concern come over her sister’s features as she had seen just now regarding Discord. And she would be happy to spend the rest of the night relieving Celestia’s concerns about him over a nice pot of tea and a good healing spell or two.





Meanwhile, with the master of chaos…

Discord’s powers had led him very far away from the castle and the pony sisters to the greatest place of comfort he knew. 

And standing her now in the damp night before the familiar door of a familiar cottage, Discord knew what he had to do. “I just hurt someone I care about all because I can’t deal with my guilt.” He swallowed. “Well, that ends starting now. It has to.” He took a breath, stepped forward, and knocked on the door.

It took a moment but then a light came on inside and a timid voice asked hesitantly, “Wh-Who’s there…in the middle of the night…just after a storm…in the dark?” Fluttershy’s voice got more and more high pitched and nervous sounding as she went on.

Discord actually smiled a little despite everything. “It’s Discord, Fluttershy. I know it’s late…but I have to talk to you. Please.”

“Oh,” he heard brightly from the other side of the door, and then a lock unclasped and the door opened to reveal Fluttershy smiling up at him. “Discord, hello. Oh goodness,” she put a hoof to her mouth, “you’re soaked to the bone. Please come inside and I’ll light the fire down here for you.” She took his hand and led him in as the door closed behind them.

“Thank you…” Discord mumbled, crossing his arms over his chest and suddenly realizing that he was indeed wet and cold.

Fluttershy got the fire lit and walked back over to him. “And I’ll make some hot chocolate too.” She smiled up at him. “Oh but where are my manners? What did you want to talk about, Discord? I hope it’s nothing bad…Discord?” Fluttershy raised an eyebrow, her smile falling a little. Discord just looked so…sad all of a sudden. So very sad and…were his eyes shining in the firelight? 

“Fluttershy?” the master of chaos asked softly.

“Yes, Discord?” the little yellow pegasus looked up at him with sincere interest.

He took a deep breath. “I just wanted to say that I’m sorry. I am so, so, so very sorry.” And then Discord leaned down and wrapped up Fluttershy in a very tight and very unexpected hug. 

Discord remained like this with her for several moments, causing Fluttershy quite a bit of surprise and confusion at first. And then everything he had been avoiding and denying and laughing off and feeling guilty over finally just started to leave him in one big burst that took a while and kept them up for quite a long time to say the least.