Wily's Wittle Wub

by Tatsurou


Friendly Misunderstanding

Several hours after Vinyl had headed out to play in the snow, Albert realized just how long she'd been gone and started to worry. "Curse this warm fire and cold weather!" he snapped as he climbed out of the blankets in which he'd unwittingly dozed off. He quickly rushed to his own snow gear. "Protoman! Crash Man! Air Man! Wood Man! Shadow Man! Vinyl's been out in the snow too long! Help me look for her!"

All the summoned robots immediately leapt into action, having entered their own recharge modes hours before. Quickly shifting to cold weather mode, they all began clanking about in the snow, searching with high tech scanners for any sign of the missing unicorn. Albert, for his part, stomped along in the snow, having donned color-scan goggles tuned specifically to the light wavelength of Vinyl's mane and tail, as well as a scanner that locked onto the homing beacon he'd sewn into Vinyl's horn cover. Using that signal - a worryingly stationary signal - for guidance, Wily marched straight towards it. Sighting another building in the distance, he prayed to any power that would listen that Vinyl had just gone for a protracted visit to the new neighbors.

"Heads up!"

Hearing that shout in a familiar voice, Albert spun around, only to receive a face full of snow, knocking him flat on his back. He groaned as he raised one hand to his face. "...I'm too old for this..." he moaned.

A series of clanks echoed as steps approached him. "Dad?" Vinyl asked worriedly.

"I'm okay, Vinyl," he hastened to reassure her, brushing snow from his face and sitting up. Blinking, he stared at his daughter. "...that's a different wardrobe," he muttered.

Vinyl smiled widely. Instead of the snow gear he'd bundled her up in, she was wearing a red fur coat with yellow buttons, along with a black fur cap on her head. She looked plenty warm and comfortable. She waved her legs to indicate she could move more...drawing eyes to the robotic attachments.

"Where'd you get the monkey suit?" Albert inquired.

'Monkey suit' was an accurate description, as the robotic limbs were shaped very much like the limbs of a large monkey, or perhaps a very small gorilla, given how it was built for running around on all fours, though the foreleg attachments had hands and not hooves.

"Kalinka!" Vinyl replied happily. Swinging the hand-leg down, she used it to scoop up a ball of snow, patting it between the two robotic hands to shape it. She then pointed to a few aspects of the design Wily recognized from how the Doc Robot had been built.

"So...you and this Kalinka built you a robo-monkey suit so you could have a snowball fight?" Albert asked to clarify.

Vinyl nodded eagerly.

"Vinyl!" a high pitched voice called out. "Are we done playin-oh!" Kalinka skidded to a halt in the snow a few feet from the pair. "You must be Dr. Wily," she said quickly, bowing respectfully. "I am Kalinka Cossack. It is pleasure to be meeting you."

Wily smiled as he pushed himself to his feet. "The pleasure's all mine. It's nice to see Vinyl making friends - in the traditional sense - who can keep up with her." He couldn't help but join in the giggles the two young girls shared. "But where's the snow gear Vinyl was wearing when she left?"

"Is back at Cossack Castle!" Kalinka informed him before shivering a bit. "Should be getting back. I need to warm up."

"Our Fortress is closer," Wily offered. "I'm sure Vinyl would rather spend more time with you, and it is time for her to come home."

Seeing Vinyl's adorable begging face, Kalinka smiled. "I would be happy to accept your hospitality," she agreed gratefully. "But my father will be wondering where I am when he gets home."

Wily grinned and pulled out his communicator. "Air Man," he instructed, "Vinyl left her snow gear at Cossack Castle. Gather it, and while you're there leave a note for Dr. Cossack so he knows Kalinka's over at our place."

"Yes Doctor," Air Man replied, marching towards Cossack Castle.

"Now that that's all taken care of," Wily offered with a smile before turning to head back home, the two girls - one human, one equine - following in his wake.


A few hours later, Albert was relaxing once more in his fortress, listening to the sounds of Vinyl and Kalinka running through the halls, playing and laughing together. He found it a very pleasant sound, one he hoped to hear more often.

As he thought that, the vid-phone rang, alerting him to an incoming call. "On screen," he instructed.

When the screen turned on, a youngish man with brown hair, green eyes, and dressed in a lab coat appeared. "Dr. Wily, I presume?" the man asked.

"The one and only," Wily confirmed. "You must be Dr. Mikhail Cossack. I've been expecting your call."

"Yes," Mikhail agreed. "This would be to discuss the ransom, yes?"

Wily blinked. "Ransom?" he asked, shocked.

"For the return of my daughter!" Mikhail proclaimed, holding up a note.

The note read, "We have Kalinka," along with a large W and the new vid-phone number.

"Look, I'll give you anything you want!" Mikhail began beseechingly. "I've made a good amount of money working for the government-"

"I don't want your money!" Wily snapped. "Kalinka is-"

"I have Robot Masters!" Cossack shouted pleadingly. "Eight of them! I'll take over the world for you and destroy Mega Man! Just please don't-"

Seeing that Dr. Cossack had worked himself into a frenzy, Albert pulled an air horn out from a nearby cupboard and blasted it. "Now that I have a chance to speak," he scolded once the sound stopped. "There appears to have been a miscommunication. Kalinka is not a hostage. She's a guest, and free to leave at any time. She's here at Vinyl's and my own invitation-"

"Vinyl?" Cossack asked, confused.

"My daughter," Albert explained.

"Oh. I wasn't aware you were married-"

"I'm not," Albert corrected. "She's adopted. Look, why don't you come over and check on her yourself?"

Mikhail frowned suspiciously. "You'll forgive me if I don't take your word for that?"

"Then bring one of your Robot Masters as extra protection," Wily offered. "It'd be nice to see another scientist's work."

"I'll do that," Mikhail replied curtly before hanging up.

Wily groaned as he put his face in his hands. "God dammit, Air Man."

"Ha. Ha. Ha," Air Man replied.


It didn't take long for Dr. Cossack to reach the fortress, accompanied by a fully human shaped Robot Master done up like an Egyptian Pharaoh. Wily greeted him at the door. "Welcome, Dr. Cossack. Oh, so this is your Robot Master?"

Mikhail nodded. "Yes. This is Pharaoh Man-"

"Where is Kalinka?" Pharaoh Man demanded angrily. His voice, oddly enough, had a slight Chinese accent for some reason.

"She's perfectly fine," Albert replied quickly. "She and Vinyl are playing together. Vinyl just got a little over excited since this is the first friend she's made in her own age group." Hearing his own words, Wily frowned. Vinyl really does need someone to play with who isn't a combat bot or a half-decrepit old man like me...I need to make her a big brother or something...

Mikhail closed his eyes and put his hand to his forehead. "I'm afraid Kalinka is similarly undersocialized," he admitted. "A failing on my part..."

At that point, Kalinka and Vinyl came tearing around the corner. "Can't catch me!" Kalinka shouted as she raced ahead, almost running full tilt into Dr. Cossack. "Father? You are back from work early!"

"Yes, I wanted to surprise you," Mikhail told his daughter. "But it seems I was the one surprised-"

"Kalinka!" Pharaoh Man interrupted. "You should not be playing with strangers! It is too dangerous!"

Kalinka stomped her foot angrily. "You say everything's too dangerous, Uncle Pharaoh Man!"

Uncle? Wily questioned silently.

Dr. Cossack rolled his eyes. "That's the last time you're in charge of keeping an eye on her when I'm away, Pharaoh Man," he scolded.

"I am not a baby sitter!" Pharaoh Man complained. "I am an archaeologist!"

Vinyl suddenly gasped happily. "Mummy!" she shouted, racing towards the new robot, pulling out a pick ax in her magic from somewhere.

"AAAAAHHHH!" Pharaoh Man screamed as he turned to run in the other direction. "Bad day bad day bad day bad day bad day!"

As Kalinka started off after the pair, Wily turned to Dr. Cossack. "How come Kalinka calls your Robot Master Uncle?" he asked wonderingly. "Wouldn't it make more sense for her to think of him - and your other Robot Masters - as brothers?"

At that moment, Kalinka's phone gave off an alert with a rather distinct sound clip. "Oh!" she said, pulling it out. "I am supposed to be making dinner now!"

"Never mind," Wily groaned.