The disguise kit coded itself into Ratchet's arena combat profile as the group teleported into the arena. In addition to pink glasses and a fake mustache, Ratchet's orange-yellow fur was turned the same purple of Twilight's coat, though the brown markings remained unchanged. "My pseudonym better not be 'Sergeant Sparkle'," Ratchet grumbled as Twilight giggled.
In the center of the arena, an announcer's platform rose up, revealing Qwark holding a microphone. "Ladies and Gentlemen!" he proclaimed loudly. "Join me in welcoming our guest of honor! Your Cragmite Overlord - and my new best friend - Emperor Tachyon!"
Twilight whistled appreciatively under her breath as Tachyon appeared on a large screen. "He's gotten that close already?"
Once applause began - encouraged by two Drophyids shaking their weapons at the audience - Qwark gestured to Ratchet and the group. "Let the battle begin!"
All three of them had been through arenas in the past, and this one - at its heart - was no different. Sure, the obstacles and enemies were different, but the essence of it was the same, and it was relatively easy for them to adapt their experience to the new situation. As they fought through the first three waves of enemies, Qwark continued his announcing.
"Our first challengers come to us from the, err, Corrigé galaxy-verse."
I guess he really does know his French, Twilight thought to herself.
"Their names are...Moustachio...Furioso, and...Pirate Princess Periwinkle!"
Twilight managed to conceal her face fault in a headbutt.
As they continued fighting, Qwark continued to announce. "Now, normally these matches only allow one challenger at a time, but it turns out that today is Take Your Daughter to Work Day by the Old Earth Calendar as measured by the JL-666 guild of Terachnoids, so a special exception was made for this father/daughter team...and look at them go!"
Qwark's other announcements showed he was tapping into who he had been back before meetting up with Twilight, especially his comment about the groupies. The fact that this led to Twilight trying to hide from the audience under Ratchet led to hilarious laughter from the audience.
After the three waves were down, a giant, cybernetically enhanced fish monster was released to leap into the fight. "Okay, troopers!" Qwark announced. "It's time-"
"For dinner?" Twilight called out eagerly. "I haven't had a good meal in days, and that fishy looks yummy!"
The fish monster cried out in terror as it proceeded to run circles around the arena with Twilight in hot pursuit after it.
"I have no idea where that music is coming from!" Qwark proclaimed innocently as he stepped away from the arena's sound controls.
Eventually, the chase ended with Crushto - the fish monster - leaping into the magma that surrounded the arena platform to escape Twilight. With that done, Qwark appeared in the arena to offer the congratulations, as well as the prize.
"Congratulations!" he proclaimed. "You lot remind me of me when I was a young fighter. Only...shorter, and less strapping."
"So how goes the undercover work?" Ratchet asked calmly.
"Unpleasant," Qwark replied fervently. "Here. This vid pack has all the information you'll need. I've disabled the optical relay, so it can only be viewed on a non-Imperial ship computer. And here's the Heli-pack gadget you won as a prize." He quickly handed the two items over.
"Ingrate!" Tachyon proclaimed from the display screen. "Quit messing around and get over here! I have boils that require lancing."
As the screen turned off, Qwark shuddered. "I don't know how much more of this I can take..." he whimpered.
"Did I give you clearance to quake in fear, Captain?" Ratchet barked out without warning.
Instinctively, Qwark straightened up. "No sir!"
"Then I don't want to see any quaking!" Ratchet snapped. "You get back up there and keep pulling the wool over the eyes of the big bad! We need the information you're getting us. Don't let me down soldier!"
Qwark saluted, his whole body thrumming with pride. "Sir yes sir!"
Twilight smiled as she patted Qwark's hand with her hoof. "Good luck!"
With a wide grin, Qwark returned to his 'post'.
In order to cover for Qwark so the extended conversation wouldn't draw suspicion, Ratchet and Twilight ran through several more arena challenges before leaving to head on their way.
After making use of the Heli-pod gadget to open the way out, the trio made their way back to Aphelion to play the new vid-pack. It turned out to be a recruitment video from Tachyon himself.
"Greetings, inferior beings of Polaris," he stated calmly. "Does your life lack a sense of purpose? Do you constantly worry about finding steady income? Do you like killing stuff? Then join the imperial army and aid me in my humble quest for galactic domination. Here you'll travel to new places, meet interesting people, and execute them in the name of...Me!"
"Hold the phone!" Qwark's voiceover cut in, along with a cardboard cutout. "Did you say I could meet interesting people?"
"Why yes I did, celebrity hero Qwark," Tachyon replied.
"That sounds terrific!" Qwark gasped excitedly. "Tell me more!"
Twilight decided to quickly skim through the rest of the video, focusing on the important details. "The Lombax Secret?" she asked in shock.
"Any idea what that's about, Aphelion?" Ratchet asked.
"I'm sorry, but that data is hard coded," Aphelion apologized.
"That means it's important," Twilight surmised. "Set course for the Nundac Asteroid Ring!"